Have you ever heard of them? My blog friend Ellen has some. I'm not sure if they are candy or just some horny hounds. Okay, I just googled it.. it's candy alright. I didn't think Ellen would be harboring unseemly horemongers. She's not that kinda chick.
"Hard as a rock - texture like a rock. A candy you will absolutely love if you like this flavor". The picture was unclear and I wonder what the flavour is? Hore? or Hound? Her husband Curtis, (as she refers to as her Hillbilly husband)was the one who ordered them online from the USA because ... obviously you can't get horehounds in Canada, we have rules. In America anything goes!! Curtis, enjoy yer Horehounds and maybe if you ever hook up with Gord again, he could use some, let me tell ya.
It's been a crazy month, but I am so glad I participated in it. I actually signed up for something and carried it through. Something I never ever do. Normally I would loose interest half way down the road and say fuck it.
I will go on Mrs. Kennedy's site tomorrow and kiss her bony little ass and let her know she inspired me to write a blog every day for 30 days, even though I know her slogan is "writing well is the best revenge." I didn't manage the "writing well" part but I kicked ass on the NaBloPoMo challenge. I finally followed through on something. I get a gold star and I want a prize!
Okay for all you rookies these are the the answers from last night: thanks for guessing!
"I know nothing!" - Sgt Schultz - Hogan's Heros
"Say goodnite Gracie" - George Burns
"We are two and wild crazy guys" - Steve Martin
"You've got spunk" - Lou Grant - Mary Tyler Moore show
"Schwing" - Wayne and Garth - SNL
"This is the city" - Sgt. Joe Friday - Dragnet.
Pat yerselves on the back if you got it right.
Here are somemore to ponder:
Well, isn't that special?
Who loves you baby?
You Rang?
Sock it to me.
We've got a really big show.
No soup for you.
Mom always like you best.
I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl
Gee, Mrs. Cleaver
Book em Danno
God'll get you for that.
"Jane you ignorant slut"
"Just one more thing"
"yeah, that's the ticket"
If you need any hints just email me and I will try to help.
balonie..over and out..........NaBloPoMo kiss my butt I'm done.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
One more day..
And I'm sort of getting the hang of posting every night. It's not that bad unless you are on the other end of the crap. I am a creature of habit, and once I have a habit, it's a lifelong committement. God forbid, I have habitchulized myself again. I made up that word. There are so many things I do out of habit, I don't even realize I am habitized until, I nerviously keep checking my watch for whatever habit needs attending. If I get an hour behind the task I have complete, I get a little cranky.
Like today... I had to go the bank at 4:45 PM to sign my life away..oops I meant to say.. sign some papers. Well, at 4:45 PM I should be in Safeway buying something for supper, because I am not well organized and don't make big shopping trips during the weekend. The thief, geez..(I meant the Bank Manager) took waaaaaaay too long to explain why I needed to sign on the dotted lines. My mind was racing...it was already 4:55 PM and the reason I was there was to sign my name on ONE document and get the hell out of there. I never heard a word she said. Finally she asked me if was in a hurry. What was her first clue? I never sat down, (was it my body language?) .. or the way I kept waving my watch in her face and yelling, "the people at Safeway will be wondering where I am bitch"...let's get on with this."
I signed this, I signed that, and by the time it was almost over with only one more paper to sign, it was 5:10 PM. Gawd!! I was way off my schedule!! THEN, get this, Gord asked a question. The fucking nerve! I thought we were just signing pieces of paper, without asking any questions because we think we know what we are doing. I gave him a look that would have made a semi trailer driver swerve into on coming traffic! Unfortantely for me, he is used to these piercing ugly looks I throw his way, and paid me no mind.
Then he and the manager go into a million logistics why and what and how! So, I picked up my purse and told the both of them, if my signature was not required today, I was out of there. They both stopped talking. Gord starting backing off of his soapbox, and the manager hers. It was very quite. I signed, Gord signed... and I was out of there at 5:35 PM. Nothing could be done without my signature, so why not have a sweet little power trip. And it worked. I was at Safeway at 5:40PM. It is just down the street.
I only got home around 6:00 PM, but that was okay because I was only making soup and sammiches, and Penny's play time was cut off because it was too cold out there for her hoofies. Essentially I made up for all the lost time when I got home. So, I think I am back on schedule. Phewwwww.. It's hard being so anal. I have a big bum hole.
However, I can be spontainious. But make it on a weekend. During the week? yeah, I'm anal as hell. Seriously, I never used to be, but when you get older (yeah I know) and still have to work the hours you did when you were young it's easier with a schedule. Even when I was in my 50's I never had the analnis factor..made that word up too..I'm guessing as you grow older, you need more stability in your life, something you can count on. I used to laugh at my parents who HAD to eat at noon, and have supper at 6:00, and watch Johnny Carson at 10:30. I'm getting there, except for the supper part, we never have supper until 8:00 PM. or later. And that is just only because Gord has always has worked late because he has his own business. That doesn't bother me at all I am so used to it, eating at 6:00 would seem so strange. Habits...like I said.
I was reading the paper today and saw TV Lands 100 best catchphrases.
How about I put a few of them on every time I post and you guess who said it?
I will end my post with it. Some are very obvious, and others, not so.
Guess where these came from:
"I know nothing!"
"Say goodnite Gracie"
"We are two and wild crazy guys"
"You've got spunk"
"Schwing"
"This is the city"
Okay... enough
Like today... I had to go the bank at 4:45 PM to sign my life away..oops I meant to say.. sign some papers. Well, at 4:45 PM I should be in Safeway buying something for supper, because I am not well organized and don't make big shopping trips during the weekend. The thief, geez..(I meant the Bank Manager) took waaaaaaay too long to explain why I needed to sign on the dotted lines. My mind was racing...it was already 4:55 PM and the reason I was there was to sign my name on ONE document and get the hell out of there. I never heard a word she said. Finally she asked me if was in a hurry. What was her first clue? I never sat down, (was it my body language?) .. or the way I kept waving my watch in her face and yelling, "the people at Safeway will be wondering where I am bitch"...let's get on with this."
I signed this, I signed that, and by the time it was almost over with only one more paper to sign, it was 5:10 PM. Gawd!! I was way off my schedule!! THEN, get this, Gord asked a question. The fucking nerve! I thought we were just signing pieces of paper, without asking any questions because we think we know what we are doing. I gave him a look that would have made a semi trailer driver swerve into on coming traffic! Unfortantely for me, he is used to these piercing ugly looks I throw his way, and paid me no mind.
Then he and the manager go into a million logistics why and what and how! So, I picked up my purse and told the both of them, if my signature was not required today, I was out of there. They both stopped talking. Gord starting backing off of his soapbox, and the manager hers. It was very quite. I signed, Gord signed... and I was out of there at 5:35 PM. Nothing could be done without my signature, so why not have a sweet little power trip. And it worked. I was at Safeway at 5:40PM. It is just down the street.
I only got home around 6:00 PM, but that was okay because I was only making soup and sammiches, and Penny's play time was cut off because it was too cold out there for her hoofies. Essentially I made up for all the lost time when I got home. So, I think I am back on schedule. Phewwwww.. It's hard being so anal. I have a big bum hole.
However, I can be spontainious. But make it on a weekend. During the week? yeah, I'm anal as hell. Seriously, I never used to be, but when you get older (yeah I know) and still have to work the hours you did when you were young it's easier with a schedule. Even when I was in my 50's I never had the analnis factor..made that word up too..I'm guessing as you grow older, you need more stability in your life, something you can count on. I used to laugh at my parents who HAD to eat at noon, and have supper at 6:00, and watch Johnny Carson at 10:30. I'm getting there, except for the supper part, we never have supper until 8:00 PM. or later. And that is just only because Gord has always has worked late because he has his own business. That doesn't bother me at all I am so used to it, eating at 6:00 would seem so strange. Habits...like I said.
I was reading the paper today and saw TV Lands 100 best catchphrases.
How about I put a few of them on every time I post and you guess who said it?
I will end my post with it. Some are very obvious, and others, not so.
Guess where these came from:
"I know nothing!"
"Say goodnite Gracie"
"We are two and wild crazy guys"
"You've got spunk"
"Schwing"
"This is the city"
Okay... enough
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Snow
It's been a snowy day here in Manitoba.
Penny has been flying in the snow like the wind. When I throw the ball from the deck into the back yard she loves it, especially when it disappears in the snow, and she has to find it. We did this 5765 times and she always brings it back up to the patio door. All this, while I am making supper. Make supper, throw the ball, make supper, throw the ball. Then when the official playtime is scheduled, I put on my big snow boots, my parka, my mitts, my bottle of 90 proof rum, and stumble into the back 40. I threw the ball, taking great care not to spill the rum. She won't play with me?First, she chased a wabbit who was hidding behind our shed..holy cow she can move..but the wabbit was faster than she was. They ran in so many circles I got dizzy. It was so awesome. The rabbit was clearly the winner. After that it was all downhill, her little hoofers were so cold she could hardly move, and she wanted back in. After I let her in, I got some carrots out of the fridge and put them behind the shed...just in case the wabbit comes back, it would have a snack, if for nothing more than entertaining me and my dog.
We didn't have as much snow as expected, so it won't really be a hardship. But Plow Boy is gearing up. Get ready. Because it ain't gonna be pretty.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Just what in the hell is wrong with me?
I had my REAL Christmas template all picked out. Today, when I was going to start working on it, and tweakin it a bit, I couldn't download it! FortheloveofGIjoe. I went to the website and the guy has exceeded his bandwidth. Fart. How dare he? It's almost Christmas man!! I'd like to give him a "boot to the ass" whether he needs it or not, and then hit him with a stick. Maybe I should offer up some cash, but I'm not that desperate. I have a little homemade template in the works, that looks verrry third grade. I need new crayons.
I bought a "blow up Polar Bear" on Saturday. No, I wasn't planning of doing him, I just wanted him for my annual Christmas display on my back deck. (but he could come in handy later). Shit, he was 4 feet tall and had nice cuddly lap. These guys come with a fan to blow them up along with stakes and tethers to hold them down in the snow. Well, my polar bear must have been a "free range" polar bear fresh out of Churchill...he came without any holding down materials.
I took him out on the deck, and tried to sort him out. I noticed the heavy fan part was right on his ass part along with the longest white penis I have ever seen diguised as what would seem to be a cord. I unravilled his peni.. and plugged him in. Fortheloveofgod!! He blew up like a balloon. He startled me. And the dog. And then he started to fly away. Apparently he needed to be tethered. There was not anytime for bonding with (Ed and I) the name I gave him when he was still in the box, and when the wind picked up...so did Ed. But, the good thing was his pee pee was still plugged in. So, I did not loose Ed. Nope. He was trying to do some lift off's, so I starting punching him down..it was just me and the Polar Bear, face to face, woman to bear, I was ...well..bear wrestling. Then I wrastled him to the ground, and gave him the the heimlich manoeuvre and I broke him. Popped his guts. I won.
I'm taking him back to Superstore tomorrow. I hope they can replace him with a bear that has some guts!..and a tether. And his name is Ed. I'm so sorry I had to kill him. But you know how it is out in the wild...kill or be killed. It was dirty job, but I got it done. Man against beast. I am one one brave girl. If I don't win any prizes for blogging every stinking day, I want a prize for bear wrastling. It's not negoiable.
I bought a "blow up Polar Bear" on Saturday. No, I wasn't planning of doing him, I just wanted him for my annual Christmas display on my back deck. (but he could come in handy later). Shit, he was 4 feet tall and had nice cuddly lap. These guys come with a fan to blow them up along with stakes and tethers to hold them down in the snow. Well, my polar bear must have been a "free range" polar bear fresh out of Churchill...he came without any holding down materials.
I took him out on the deck, and tried to sort him out. I noticed the heavy fan part was right on his ass part along with the longest white penis I have ever seen diguised as what would seem to be a cord. I unravilled his peni.. and plugged him in. Fortheloveofgod!! He blew up like a balloon. He startled me. And the dog. And then he started to fly away. Apparently he needed to be tethered. There was not anytime for bonding with (Ed and I) the name I gave him when he was still in the box, and when the wind picked up...so did Ed. But, the good thing was his pee pee was still plugged in. So, I did not loose Ed. Nope. He was trying to do some lift off's, so I starting punching him down..it was just me and the Polar Bear, face to face, woman to bear, I was ...well..bear wrestling. Then I wrastled him to the ground, and gave him the the heimlich manoeuvre and I broke him. Popped his guts. I won.
I'm taking him back to Superstore tomorrow. I hope they can replace him with a bear that has some guts!..and a tether. And his name is Ed. I'm so sorry I had to kill him. But you know how it is out in the wild...kill or be killed. It was dirty job, but I got it done. Man against beast. I am one one brave girl. If I don't win any prizes for blogging every stinking day, I want a prize for bear wrastling. It's not negoiable.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
No mo snow...no mo..no mo.
I deleted the snowflakes because they were abotherin' some computers. So, now you can read my shit without a phoney piece of crap falling in on your eyeballs. I haven't finished editing my REAL Christmas blog yet, so be prepared girl scouts!
It's just been a lazy day here at the ranch. It's been snowing off and on all day. I took Penny for a walk this afternoon, without any consequences. Usually she tries to nab a jogger, or nip at an old lady, but today she only tried to rip the leg off a kid. So, things have improved. One step at a time I say. If I can only get her to stop biting the tires of wheel chairs then my job will be done. Any moving object is fair game.
Sunday night supper: borrrrrrrrring
Roasted Yellow chicken (corn fed) as I have been informed
Roasted taters
Carrots
Gravy of course
Dessert: Maple Walnut Ice-cream...yessssssssss
I really have to get my ass going on making some better meals. Guess what I'm making for tomorrow? Chicken sandwiches! And if there is anything left over on Tuesday, I will make Chicken stir fry...and if there is anything left of Wednesday, which probably won't happen ... I will make chickenless spagetti. There ya go. Cuisine for the rich and famous. For some reason I have lost all interest in cooking. Maybe, just maybe, because I have been doing it for 40 fricking years and I'm just sick and tired of it all. I have get my mo jo back. It's seems like I am in a slump. I really would love to make some good old mennonite meals, but most of them are taboo these days with the high fat content. I need me some verenki...
It's just been a lazy day here at the ranch. It's been snowing off and on all day. I took Penny for a walk this afternoon, without any consequences. Usually she tries to nab a jogger, or nip at an old lady, but today she only tried to rip the leg off a kid. So, things have improved. One step at a time I say. If I can only get her to stop biting the tires of wheel chairs then my job will be done. Any moving object is fair game.
Sunday night supper: borrrrrrrrring
Roasted Yellow chicken (corn fed) as I have been informed
Roasted taters
Carrots
Gravy of course
Dessert: Maple Walnut Ice-cream...yessssssssss
I really have to get my ass going on making some better meals. Guess what I'm making for tomorrow? Chicken sandwiches! And if there is anything left over on Tuesday, I will make Chicken stir fry...and if there is anything left of Wednesday, which probably won't happen ... I will make chickenless spagetti. There ya go. Cuisine for the rich and famous. For some reason I have lost all interest in cooking. Maybe, just maybe, because I have been doing it for 40 fricking years and I'm just sick and tired of it all. I have get my mo jo back. It's seems like I am in a slump. I really would love to make some good old mennonite meals, but most of them are taboo these days with the high fat content. I need me some verenki...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Damn it was close
I almost forgot to post, because I was watching a very interesting CBC documentary. CBC always does that shit the best.
I'm eating a bowl of Maple Walnut Ice-cream!!... I know it's old fart ice-cream, but I love it.
FORTHELOVEOFGOD...I don't have anything else Mrs. Kennedy, look at the drivel you made me post.. and yes I farted two minutes ago, my husband is
snoring so loud I could just take a towel, and put it over his face. So, is this where it's all going? Murder, mayhem all in the name of no ho month.
I'm eating a bowl of Maple Walnut Ice-cream!!... I know it's old fart ice-cream, but I love it.
FORTHELOVEOFGOD...I don't have anything else Mrs. Kennedy, look at the drivel you made me post.. and yes I farted two minutes ago, my husband is
snoring so loud I could just take a towel, and put it over his face. So, is this where it's all going? Murder, mayhem all in the name of no ho month.
Friday, November 24, 2006
The fish is in the freezer
Well, I couldn't stand it anymore, the little guy had to meet his maker. If you have ever had a fish tank, you will know that only the strong survive, and they will harrass those that are weak. That happens with humans too. Today, I saw the other fish in the tank constantly picking on him, when he could barely move. It was time for him to go to the freezer. He was in bad shape, and now he will just slowly levitate in a state of freezingness. I got one more fish to go, and that will be it! I will not go to Petland tomorrow and buy him a friend. Come on people..."SAY IT WITH ME"...I WILL NOT GET ANOTHER FISH!!
... he's looking mighty lonely in there all by himself, but then, if he has any fish sense he will know .... more food for me!!
It was certainly easier saying goodbye to this guy than the last two fish that had grown to such mammoth proportions, and could have easily been a nice snack. This guy was only a sardine. But he was my sardine...and I loved him...buh bye little guy..see ya at rainbow bridge. You will know me, I always wear sweat pants and a sweatshirt with a hoodie. I should really get my list together to make sure I can pick all of them up on my way out.
These are the guys I have to pick up: (since 1951) Skipper, Meatzie, Greyone, Sadie, Blacky, Puss, Snowball, Meizermeats, Pywacket, Flower, Pecker, Angel, Munchie, Wiggles, Big one 1, Big one 11, and Sardine. A menagerie of dogs, cats, birds and fish. They all hold a special place in my heart. I will take care of little sardine until he decides to go belly up, but then I will take the tank down. They all lived a very good life, and I was so happy to have them in mine.
... he's looking mighty lonely in there all by himself, but then, if he has any fish sense he will know .... more food for me!!
It was certainly easier saying goodbye to this guy than the last two fish that had grown to such mammoth proportions, and could have easily been a nice snack. This guy was only a sardine. But he was my sardine...and I loved him...buh bye little guy..see ya at rainbow bridge. You will know me, I always wear sweat pants and a sweatshirt with a hoodie. I should really get my list together to make sure I can pick all of them up on my way out.
These are the guys I have to pick up: (since 1951) Skipper, Meatzie, Greyone, Sadie, Blacky, Puss, Snowball, Meizermeats, Pywacket, Flower, Pecker, Angel, Munchie, Wiggles, Big one 1, Big one 11, and Sardine. A menagerie of dogs, cats, birds and fish. They all hold a special place in my heart. I will take care of little sardine until he decides to go belly up, but then I will take the tank down. They all lived a very good life, and I was so happy to have them in mine.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Drinking on a budget
Last weekend when I was on holidays I decided to clean out some of the cluttered places of our happy home. The liquor cabinet came to mind. Why? Because there was no.more.room. What you say!!! No more room in the Inn for spirits? How could that happen? I'm here to tell you there are way to many "well meaning" people in this world that want to get you plastered.
I always host the family Christmas parties, so the "well meaners" as I call them bring some spirits to our home as a hostess gift or such. Most have been aging in our liqour cabinet for about 20 years now, and I had to make a move before someone lit a match and we all blew to hell.
Tequila? Do I look Mexican? Why would you bring me a bottle of Mexican hootch? Okay, I know, you are the rich relatives that just got back from Puerta somewhere. Thanks, but Gord likes lite beer, and I like vats of homemade wine.
Ozzo disguised as a Mandolin. Somebody just back from Greece!! Caught you! It must have cost 2 bucks at duty free.
Now, this is cute. Thanks relative! It's nice champagne fit only for the rich and famous. So, we are keeping it until one of them shows up.
Jamacia mon!! How thoughtful. You could have asked us to join you on your holiday. Now you want us to drink this man. I can't drink anything in a container that looks like he would die after I finished the bottle. No, it just doesn't seem right.
Grain Alcohol, more deadly than Bin Laden. We have had this bottle of Everclear in our liqour cabinet for 25 years. As a reminder of what not to do when you are young. You don't want to know...but after two drinks "Bob will more than your uncle." Just kidding, I don't know how we ever got this bottle, but I do remember drinking it when I was just a pup..and talking to the big white phone...never again..Gord was probably trying to get into my pants and he got puked upon.. Lesson learned.
Peach schnapps..harmless, but whoever brought this.. come back and drink it. Maybe I could use it in a recipe. It might be good in a chicken recipe...
Now this was a present from our old auntie Tina..(91 years old) how can you loose with a bottle of Communion wine. I remember that Christmas, and she was in great form, I'm surprised after a few "Baileys," she didn't baptize someone. I just love my (Gord's) auntie Tina. She is such a hoot. I hope I can be like her, should I live that long.
So, anyone wanna come over for a drink? We have a lot of stuff to get rid of.
We will save it for you...
If not I'm thinking of holding a garage liquor sale...1/2 off the normal price which was nothing...so we will owe them.
Hey, I never realized how many Americans like pie, until I read all the blogs today. Ya'll must have some big ole pie holes...
I love pie.
Peace Pilgrims.............
I always host the family Christmas parties, so the "well meaners" as I call them bring some spirits to our home as a hostess gift or such. Most have been aging in our liqour cabinet for about 20 years now, and I had to make a move before someone lit a match and we all blew to hell.
Tequila? Do I look Mexican? Why would you bring me a bottle of Mexican hootch? Okay, I know, you are the rich relatives that just got back from Puerta somewhere. Thanks, but Gord likes lite beer, and I like vats of homemade wine.
Ozzo disguised as a Mandolin. Somebody just back from Greece!! Caught you! It must have cost 2 bucks at duty free.
Now, this is cute. Thanks relative! It's nice champagne fit only for the rich and famous. So, we are keeping it until one of them shows up.
Jamacia mon!! How thoughtful. You could have asked us to join you on your holiday. Now you want us to drink this man. I can't drink anything in a container that looks like he would die after I finished the bottle. No, it just doesn't seem right.
Grain Alcohol, more deadly than Bin Laden. We have had this bottle of Everclear in our liqour cabinet for 25 years. As a reminder of what not to do when you are young. You don't want to know...but after two drinks "Bob will more than your uncle." Just kidding, I don't know how we ever got this bottle, but I do remember drinking it when I was just a pup..and talking to the big white phone...never again..Gord was probably trying to get into my pants and he got puked upon.. Lesson learned.
Peach schnapps..harmless, but whoever brought this.. come back and drink it. Maybe I could use it in a recipe. It might be good in a chicken recipe...
Now this was a present from our old auntie Tina..(91 years old) how can you loose with a bottle of Communion wine. I remember that Christmas, and she was in great form, I'm surprised after a few "Baileys," she didn't baptize someone. I just love my (Gord's) auntie Tina. She is such a hoot. I hope I can be like her, should I live that long.
So, anyone wanna come over for a drink? We have a lot of stuff to get rid of.
We will save it for you...
If not I'm thinking of holding a garage liquor sale...1/2 off the normal price which was nothing...so we will owe them.
Hey, I never realized how many Americans like pie, until I read all the blogs today. Ya'll must have some big ole pie holes...
I love pie.
Peace Pilgrims.............
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
One of my first blogs I did in 2005
%20of%20HPIM0773.jpg)
Hi, my name is Penny!
I am so happy Joan asked me to fill in for her today. Usually I just watch her blog, but today I'm in the "hot seat."Joan and I met 5 years ago. I was living on the other side of town, with a older lady who took me in after my parents got divorced. She was a very nice person to take me in on such short notice. I loved her grandchildren, we had so much fun together. I was much younger than her, and was full of energy. I was always bugging her to do things with me, but she didn't have the energy to keep up with me. One day, she phoned her son and asked him to come over, she had a decision to make. She asked me to leave the room and closed the door. I heard them talking for a long time, and then they made a few phone calls. After about an hour, they opened the door and called me into the kitchen. I came into the room, not knowing what to expect, and everyone seemed so sad. She came over and gave me a kiss, and said I would have to go with her son to meet some people. Her son was parked outside in the driveway waiting for me while she packed up a few things for me to take on my trip. Before I got into the car, she gave me a big hug, and said she would see me later.
We drove for about 15 minutes, and pulled into the mall. It was very crowded. He said, we would have to go in for awhile to see some people. I was happy enough to do that, because I had been at this particular mall once before and made some good friends at the store we were going to.Once inside, we met a lady, who "the son" had called on the phone. She looked at me, and said she was very glad to meet me, and would we follow her into her office. Once inside, she asked "the son" to sit down, because she had some forms he had to fill out. She asked him a bunch of questions, which he answered while he was filling out the papers. When he was finished, he called me over and told me that I would be staying here until someone younger than his mother could take care of me. He kissed my nose, shook my paw...and left.
I was confused, where was he going? He left me here all alone with a stranger. The lady was very nice to me, she patted my head and told me not to worry, someone would soon come along and adopt me. I had been to Pet Land many times before, and it was the best place in the world, I would get to meet all the dogs in the store, and get a treat before going home.
This time, however, it was different. She took my leash and guided me to my barren kennel. I was told to "stay" there and wait for someone to bring in my belongings and give me fresh water and some food. I began to shiver, this was getting scary.
The kennel had a glass window in front of it and I could see all the people in the store looking at me. I started to cry. In a few minutes another lady came in with my toys and food and water. She tried to get me to play with my toys, but my heart was not in it. All I wanted to do, was to go home! Eventually she left me there alone.
It was so loud in there, dogs were barking in the kennel beside me, birds were chirping, people were laughing and talking loud. I moved to the furthest corner, put my paws over my ears and tried to make it all go away. After an hour or so, the lady came back in my kennel and put my leash back on..YES..."the son" must have come back for me!! Not so. She led me to a veterinary office attached to the building. Here she had a chat with the receptionist, and then I was led into a little room with a table it it. The lady stayed with me while we were waiting for something to happen.
Soon a man came in with a white coat and a big smile. Sooo, he said, this must be Penny. I loved him right away, he tickled my ears, and patted my head in a good way. After a few minutes, he picked me up and put me on the table. He asked the lady a few questions, and then he poked and prodded me for a few minutes, but I didn't mind, because he was paying a lot of attention to me. After, he had finished looking me over, and decided that I might need a needle when looking over my chart. He turned me around and whispered in my ear...don't be afraid...and stuck the needle in my rear end. It didn't really hurt, just startled me for a minute. After that was over, he told the lady that I was ....good to go.The lady led me back out of the office, and back into the kennel. Once again I was left alone with all the noise and people gawking at me through the window. I started to cry again, but this time nobody came. So, I just curled up and tried to shut it out.
Finally all the people went home, and all the lights went out. It got a little quieter, I could still hear dogs growling, cats meowing, and birds chirping. It was a long long night. I finally fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night and didn't know where I was...I panicked, but then remembered the events of the day before. I had to go pee, but didn't know where to go. I sniffed around and around, but didn't want to dirty up the floor. Finally I did it in the corner. I felt bad. I drank a little water, and found my toy beside the dog food. Something familiar was good, I picked it up and brought to my corner and tucked it under my chin and fell asleep. I awoke in the morning with a start...people were coming in and checking on me to see if I needed more water and food. I didn't, because I wasn't hungry. More ladies came in later and patted my head and told me ...it would be alright. I sat in my corner all day curled up and didn't look up once at all the people at the window. I just wanted this nightmare to be over.
Later in the day one of the ladies came in and put a leash on me... I thought, please god...let "the son" be picking me up!!! No, it was not "the son". They led me into a little room, where another lady was sitting. She came up to me, then sat on the floor beside me and kissed my head...she tickled my ears...she tickled my belly...she whispered in my ear not to be afraid, because she loved me and I was what she had been looking for. I loved her back right away. She played with me for about an hour, then she told the lady she had to go, but would be back. I didn't understand that part, because when she left they put me back in the the kennel, and I started to cry again. To much happy, sad, happy, sad was wearing me down. I curled back up in corner and ignored everyone again.
But, to my surprise and jubilation, SHE CAME BACK...with a new halter, a bright orange squeekie ball and doggie treats. She put the halter on me, after some struggling, and she filled out some forms for the lady, and we WALKED OUT OF THERE! I was still a little afraid because I didn't really know her, but she put me in her car, and we blew that popcorn stand.Once we got to her house, I was shown a huge backyard.. to die for....and I whizzed all over it for about 10 minutes...I'd been holding it in for a long time. She took me in the house, and I sniffed it out and thought..."hey this looks like a good gig"...lets give it a chance. The only thing she didn't tell me was...that she had not told her husband..(now my dad)...that she was getting a new dog.
The husband and her had lost their beloved dog "Munchie" who was 18 years old, 4 months before. The husband, was still not sure he wanted to commit to another relationship with a dog, after finding out how hard it was saying goodbye to the first one. Sooo..when he got home, he came into the kitchen...stepped back a few feet after seeing me...and said to her...I hope this is the neighbours dog! They talked loud for a few minutes, so I had a feeling this "gig" was coming to an end really quick. I had it in my head...that maybe I should just turn on the charm, because this guy looked like a soft touch. He was sitting at the kitchen table and I "sat pretty" right in front of him with my paws waving....he laughed...YES...he was mine!!!! The rest is history.
-----------------------------She turned 7 this year, and it only seems like we got her yesterday. She already has some grey hairs on her. We love her so much. And she is smarter than the average bear!! Shit you not!!!
It was pretty weird looking back at the stuff I wrote...way back when I was a newbie.
I know how my blog friend Leslie feels about her cat, and I feel the same way. They complete the family unit, and give you so much love. And Leslie, I hope Bilbo got through everything okay. I could read your angst in your blog entry today. I have been through it four times before, with ailing kitters and dogs. And the saddess thing I have to say now....is my fav fish looks like he's going to rainbow bridge.
He has tried the dardest to remain alive...he doesn't give up!! He looks like he is dead!! And I go in with the fish net to retrieve him, and he bolts!! He has been doing this for a month. I know it's only a matter of time, but holy shit this little guy has balls. I never wanted this fish, my hippychick friend thought it would be fun to give me a Christmas present about 4 years ago, with 2 fish in one of those candle holder thingies... gross.......... I immediately set up a tank. So, I still have them. One is pretty well down, one to go. Guess what I will do?
Get another one to keep the remaining fish company...and the cycle starts over again.
balonie...over and out
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Day ..whatever of the blogyourselftodeath
Oh, here I am again. God will this never end. I don't even have time to check out my fav blogs. I have been so busy at work, and that is where I normally do that. So, if you thunk the balonie forsaked you..no so.. I will be back.
When I did my family blog on Sunday, I put up some of my pic's where I cartooned (in a sense) my frustration with the process of putting down patio blocks. I also added some of my laptops cartoons. You all have probably seen this.
I got some good feed back from my nephew and niece in Great Slave Lake. They said their son Jeremy who is three years old, cannot get enough of it. He wants to see Auntie laying on the ground, crawling to the pond for a drink, then grow a pumpkin head and sit at the patio table having a beverage, then get hit by a ladder, and then get hung and eaten by her dog, over and over. I think I am in the wrong business! Kid's love this shit, and it's my life!! I need to write a kid's book. How hard could it be?
Monday, November 20, 2006
Pigs are us
I was so discomboobulated yesterday, I forgot to tell you about my Sunday Night Supper:
I called it "Dining with Swine."
A Hefty pork loin roast...roasted to perfection, along with pan taters
Homemade apple sauce
Mixed veggies (beans, carrots and corn)
Swine gravy
Fresh rolls (around our bellys)
Dessert: Swine ... opps I meant a wee glass of "ice wine" It's very sweet, but it put the swine to rest in our tummies.
Then we went to our pig pen and dug a deep muddy hole, and went to sleep.
That's what pigs do.
I haven't heard any feedback from my family blog yet. I was a little concerned because sometimes I tend to write like I do here on my private blog. I didn't swear, except maybe I said Arsehole once or twice. But, I think they know me well enough to know..that I just say what is on my mind at the moment. Mind you, I had to censor myself several times. The best part was when my nieces Cheri and Lisa sent in their email, just as I was about to publish the blog. Everyone knew the deadline, but you know kid's...and they pushed it to the last minute!! I was so happy just to have someone of my side of the family to give some feedback. My two fav little arseholes!!!
I love them to pieces, they are a mirror image of me, with their flagrant sense of humour. (and no we don't look alike). When my bro and I were young, we always went a little outside the box, and loved to laugh. His girls are a very good example of their father, and my family.
Okay, you guys convinced me, I will go into photobucket and get the shot of my two neices on crack.
They love to try to amuse me, now my only wish is they would send me a pic of them when they are trying to be funny. Girls, the nose thing is gettin old!! But it really fits in with my Pig theme today. You are the best!
I called it "Dining with Swine."
A Hefty pork loin roast...roasted to perfection, along with pan taters
Homemade apple sauce
Mixed veggies (beans, carrots and corn)
Swine gravy
Fresh rolls (around our bellys)
Dessert: Swine ... opps I meant a wee glass of "ice wine" It's very sweet, but it put the swine to rest in our tummies.
Then we went to our pig pen and dug a deep muddy hole, and went to sleep.
That's what pigs do.
I haven't heard any feedback from my family blog yet. I was a little concerned because sometimes I tend to write like I do here on my private blog. I didn't swear, except maybe I said Arsehole once or twice. But, I think they know me well enough to know..that I just say what is on my mind at the moment. Mind you, I had to censor myself several times. The best part was when my nieces Cheri and Lisa sent in their email, just as I was about to publish the blog. Everyone knew the deadline, but you know kid's...and they pushed it to the last minute!! I was so happy just to have someone of my side of the family to give some feedback. My two fav little arseholes!!!
I love them to pieces, they are a mirror image of me, with their flagrant sense of humour. (and no we don't look alike). When my bro and I were young, we always went a little outside the box, and loved to laugh. His girls are a very good example of their father, and my family.
Okay, you guys convinced me, I will go into photobucket and get the shot of my two neices on crack.
They love to try to amuse me, now my only wish is they would send me a pic of them when they are trying to be funny. Girls, the nose thing is gettin old!! But it really fits in with my Pig theme today. You are the best!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Hello...me tired.
I almost forgot to post. I have been struggling all day with my yearly family newsletter post. I have a blog for them, but it wouldn't work. It wouldn't show any pics. You don't want to know all the shit I went through to get the blog up. Blogger would not let me post a pic. So I had take ALL the pics I was sent and put them in photobucket, and then put them in one by one in their entry. Along with editing, and my own shit to the newsletter I was starting to puke . Fuck. I sure hope they enjoy my efforts, because if I get any grief, I will give them a boot to the head.
Back to work for me tomorrow, back to normal...and dog won't make sad eyes at me anymore.
Back to work for me tomorrow, back to normal...and dog won't make sad eyes at me anymore.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Thankyou Jeebus
After panicking all day about my Christmas blog, I realized because I had not totally switched over, I could keep on changing my templates!!! Sometimes I am a slow learner. But of course I will not have haloscan because they only see my blog in beta. They wouldn't let me do anything yesterday.
Not to shabby huh? All Christmasy and stuff. And just tacky enough for my liking. I know I put it up once before as a joke, but this time I am perfectly serious. heh.
So, there you have it!! I'll keep hammering out templates till blogger shuts me down.
You, dear readers will have to put up with blogger comments..sowwy!!!
The AA crowd will be here soon, so I gotta fly. Nothing like seeing old folks streaming in and yakking about their aches and pains...then 1 hour later and two glasses of wine later, doing handstands.
I am so happy I figured it out, actually I had figured it out before, but forgot I figured it out..GO FIGURE! And I think my friends are a little slow on the draw, I got them beat by a mile.
HO HO HO!!
Not to shabby huh? All Christmasy and stuff. And just tacky enough for my liking. I know I put it up once before as a joke, but this time I am perfectly serious. heh.
So, there you have it!! I'll keep hammering out templates till blogger shuts me down.
You, dear readers will have to put up with blogger comments..sowwy!!!
The AA crowd will be here soon, so I gotta fly. Nothing like seeing old folks streaming in and yakking about their aches and pains...then 1 hour later and two glasses of wine later, doing handstands.
I am so happy I figured it out, actually I had figured it out before, but forgot I figured it out..GO FIGURE! And I think my friends are a little slow on the draw, I got them beat by a mile.
HO HO HO!!
Friday, November 17, 2006
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I'm not really in BETA yet. I have switched over, but have kept my old template. They let you back out if you don't like what you see. Therefore I am not yet kosher. Blogger gives you a choice of templates to choose from. The html code looks very different from the normal ones I am used to. I guess it's just set up differently using widgets or some dang thing.
I cannot use all of the features unless I use one of their templates!! I have tried, believe me. It always refuses the code. The stuff I can use are"label," "reader options," and a neat "spell check." (it highlites your error and you click on it for the right spelling). I have set up a test blog and am testing all the functions,and they are great. You can now put any dang thing in your sidebar with no fuss or muss. Just find a photo and click away, and it's there. Size used to be such an issue for me, and it always threw the template off. Also adding peeps to your list of people you read is a snap.
WARNING... Haloscan has not dealt with Blogger Beta. I switched back to my old template when I discovered that Haloscan would not recognize it. If you go on Haloscan's site there is no mention of any problems, but once you go to the forum it is being discussed with a lot of people. Some guys have a "work around", but I couldn't get them to work. But, of course I'm not the brightest bulb in the bulb factory.
I now can't put up a new template and expect Haloscan to work, or even the new template, because I have made the basic switch. I am still testing it in my laboratory. I am so stupid. So, if I want my long awaited Christmas blog to appear, it may not, nor will haloscan. Anyone out there smarter than me? Okay don't shove, I know you are all trying to get into line.
Are you guys laughing a me? You know how much I like to change my template!! You buggers!! But, once you are totally switched on to Beta, you can change different things in the blogs that they provide. But how much I don't know. I will go and clean up my test blog and give you a gander.
I am only reporting on what I found, and of course I'm no genius, and may be cryin foul for no reason.
SK..shudup!
I cannot use all of the features unless I use one of their templates!! I have tried, believe me. It always refuses the code. The stuff I can use are"label," "reader options," and a neat "spell check." (it highlites your error and you click on it for the right spelling). I have set up a test blog and am testing all the functions,and they are great. You can now put any dang thing in your sidebar with no fuss or muss. Just find a photo and click away, and it's there. Size used to be such an issue for me, and it always threw the template off. Also adding peeps to your list of people you read is a snap.
WARNING... Haloscan has not dealt with Blogger Beta. I switched back to my old template when I discovered that Haloscan would not recognize it. If you go on Haloscan's site there is no mention of any problems, but once you go to the forum it is being discussed with a lot of people. Some guys have a "work around", but I couldn't get them to work. But, of course I'm not the brightest bulb in the bulb factory.
I now can't put up a new template and expect Haloscan to work, or even the new template, because I have made the basic switch. I am still testing it in my laboratory. I am so stupid. So, if I want my long awaited Christmas blog to appear, it may not, nor will haloscan. Anyone out there smarter than me? Okay don't shove, I know you are all trying to get into line.
Are you guys laughing a me? You know how much I like to change my template!! You buggers!! But, once you are totally switched on to Beta, you can change different things in the blogs that they provide. But how much I don't know. I will go and clean up my test blog and give you a gander.
I am only reporting on what I found, and of course I'm no genius, and may be cryin foul for no reason.
SK..shudup!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Dog Face
Don't give me that face!! I have opened and closed the patio door 876 times today, what is it that you want little one? Okay, come on in little critter....oop's did the door close too quickly and catch your godamn tail! Okay that did not happen, but I was "this" close to making it happen. When I'm home all day, I am her bitch, and I have to do what she wants me to, so I went downstairs and brought out the Christmas Reindeer ears and the Santa hat that she so dearly loves to wear.
She finally got off my back... I know she looks so pathetic, like no one loves her and nobody plays with her, and life just totally sucks...she has that face even when she is happy, so don't be worried, this goes on day.after.day.
Went out for lunch with my American friend today...now that is a story for another day...and she was directing traffic in the parking lot...ahem. So, I'm thinking she has a lot more going on than I thought. And she is making plans to come up here again........ call the police.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Hello from beta
Just checking in. Still on holidays. I have been annoying fellow bloggers all day.
Also have been checking out my Christmas blog template and trying to change it to suit me. I won't happen. Nothing makes me happy, I'm such a grinch.
And now that I get to label every blog I write with beta..I will label this as "crap"
Have a good day. yours truly balonie
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
BETA
I am speaking to you from Blogger Beta. CAN YOU HEAR ME? All of you who still are in the Blogger Old Folks Homes!!
I was warned I may not be able to comment on your blogs, and if I can't I will email you. But until then I will use all the features they have given me. DID YOU HEAR ME?
Lets try a picture shall we.
I went to to get my hair cut today, first I went into the internet to find a reliable look for me. I cut and pasted the hair do on my head. It's not the best look and while doing that it seems worms were coming out of the right side of my face. OR..maybe a microphone, I could have been a news anchor. Katie...look out! BTW, my haircut was not as successful as the picture. But, as they say, hair grows!!
Now that was impressive, I could drag and drop Mr. toliet seat anywhere I wanted him to go. So far, I am impressed. But he does not have a frame around him which I exclaimed about yesterday.
I don't know ....it all seems the same..but then I haven't had the chance to really have a go at it.
Yours truly,
balonie
Let's try one more time: It didn't work..fuckers..
Let's try again... see you soon.............. or not.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Tomorrow is D Day
I'm going over to the other side. Beta, my friends. I was using it all afternoon on my Test Blog. It's pretty slick. After all the trouble I had last night trying to put up pic's, I said "that is enough." loud enough for all the little ears in China to hear. The new pics are easy to use and can be adjusted to suit your blog. They even have a little border around them, which, by the way, I love! My pic's were all over the map last night, and if there is anything I hate more is a messy looking blog. Yeah, I just said it was "messy"...I did not say cluttered, which I usually manage if I keep a template up long enough. They have a bunch of other stuff too, drag and drop stuff, header changes can be make quickly. Yadda yadda, but I didn't have any problems at all. And I put that sucker through the wringer I tells ya. I will enjoy the font feature, but I don't know if it will override my template font, I didn't try it.
Gotta to give those guys credit for trying to make our blogging experience a little less stressful. While I am changing to beta, I may as well change my template. For two days now, half of what I wrote was not visible to me! Eventually if appeared, but I think it might be a html error in the code. I will just choose a generic one until December. Then I get to put up my Christmas one!! Yahoo... So, I will be sure to save any comments anyone may have sent. Haloscan used to add the comments from previous entries back in the blog, but of late, they have not. I don't like them very much anymore. Yessss, I know it free, and what do I want "my money back?"
The dilemma of last week has been resolved. "D" called on Saturday, and said she had called for her Dr. Appointment in Winnipeg and was hoping for the last weekend in November, but she could not get it. She had to take an opening this Thursday. So, we will only be meeting for lunch. This is good. We can reconnect and actually see if we could make a whole weekend together. She might just hate me. I am annoying. I like everything my way. I am a princess with a pumkin head. Spellcheck asked me if I meant pemmican ..ha...yeah...balonie the buffalo head. I know I should have spelled it correctly.
I am still on holiday, I tried to sleep in this morning....until Gord's cell phone rang 4..count them 4 frickin times around 8:00 AM. For some reason he had his shop phone call forwarded to the cell..(*&$ Are people stupid? He never gets up before 9:00 AM!! After all, he has his own business and does things when it suits him. If that phones rings tomorrow morning, it goes into the pooper!! I will just drop it in the bowl. I swear. I am not a morning person to start off with, and I just want to lay there and watch the clock ... and know, I don't have to get up!!
Gotta to give those guys credit for trying to make our blogging experience a little less stressful. While I am changing to beta, I may as well change my template. For two days now, half of what I wrote was not visible to me! Eventually if appeared, but I think it might be a html error in the code. I will just choose a generic one until December. Then I get to put up my Christmas one!! Yahoo... So, I will be sure to save any comments anyone may have sent. Haloscan used to add the comments from previous entries back in the blog, but of late, they have not. I don't like them very much anymore. Yessss, I know it free, and what do I want "my money back?"
The dilemma of last week has been resolved. "D" called on Saturday, and said she had called for her Dr. Appointment in Winnipeg and was hoping for the last weekend in November, but she could not get it. She had to take an opening this Thursday. So, we will only be meeting for lunch. This is good. We can reconnect and actually see if we could make a whole weekend together. She might just hate me. I am annoying. I like everything my way. I am a princess with a pumkin head. Spellcheck asked me if I meant pemmican ..ha...yeah...balonie the buffalo head. I know I should have spelled it correctly.
I am still on holiday, I tried to sleep in this morning....until Gord's cell phone rang 4..count them 4 frickin times around 8:00 AM. For some reason he had his shop phone call forwarded to the cell..(*&$ Are people stupid? He never gets up before 9:00 AM!! After all, he has his own business and does things when it suits him. If that phones rings tomorrow morning, it goes into the pooper!! I will just drop it in the bowl. I swear. I am not a morning person to start off with, and I just want to lay there and watch the clock ... and know, I don't have to get up!!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
A day off, and time to take lappy for a spin
I was exhausted after cleaning the house yesterday. I have never in my whole born life seen so much dog hair! I knew it was there for the last two weeks, it was on top of my "to do" list, but it just kept on getting left (unchecked) as there were more pressing things to get done around here. Like, eating, going to work and staring off into space. So, I took a BIG BRUSH to the canine yesterday, and got every hair that seemed loose, off of her. Yes, there was some yelping, but she is a sissy. She looks like she lost 5 pounds! Next week I will have her nails clipped and that should make it 6 pounds. (I would clip her nails, but she is a super beotch and gets all bendy, wiggles, turns upside down then bites and groans until you want to clip her nose!) I don't want to do that because she needs that nose when she is on fart patrol. Therefore I let the professionals get bit. It worth the 13.00 bucks.
So, today was supposed to be a day of relaxation. If you have ever read my blog in fall, you will know it's time for Gord to put his toys to bed, and run them one last time. Once again, we had:
1. A snowblower that we don't even need (remember! we have a snowblade now), running on the driveway.
2.) The stinking Lincoln, running on all 8 cylinders with emissions coming out of it's two tail pipes that would make Arnold S., come running all the way down from California to kill him.
3.) His leaf blower. I can't believe he did.not.gas himself! I finally ran to the back of the garage and opened the side door, it was lethal! But, he only coughs when I smoke.
4.) The motorcycle. Rum Rum Rum...Rum Rum Rum...till I thought I would loose my mind. Then he drove it through the gate into the back yard and parked in our shed. Can you imagine my surprise when I looked out the kitchen window and saw him riding his bike in the backyard!! At least this time he didn't try running over the dog. Not like last year.
5.) After all his babies we safe and sound and their batteries were taken care of, (whatever he does with them). THEN he got in my Explorer, attached the snowblade, and decided to grade our driveway. (we have no snow) people! I ran outside and I expressed my absolute disbelief that he was going to use a snowblade for leveling gravel. My last words were, "if you wreck that thing, don't come crying to me arsehole." He continued on. It was like my words were swept away with the wind.
God, if you are up there, tell him to just to cut it out already!!
So, then we had lunch. No, I did not poison him. The fumes will do that. After he left for the shop, I had the whole afternoon to myself and my new laptop that I haven't had any time to use. I wanted to put all my software on it, and just caress it in general. BUT, first the dang dog wanted to go for a walk! Crikey, can't anyone leave me heck alone! I did that. Came back home. My internet was gone! Poof!Wellfortheloveofpete, can't I catch a break? My new wireless router seemed to be a little cranky all weekend. I was shaking, I was so mad...this is the second router I have installed and I am still having problems!! So, I grabbed him by his two funny looking antenna's, shook him, turned him off, then spit on him. Whoa he seemed to like the rough stuff, I plugged him back in and I was back online. I guess they just have to know "who is the boss."
So, then I decided to take lappy for a spin around the house, after all she doesn't know where I may want to use her. After all it's been a month since I adopted her.
The bathroom: This was a chance for a little R&R and just some you and me time for lappy. So, Lappy, do you like the towels?
The kitchen table: We will spend a lot of time here, so I can keep an eye on the neighbor's and your half sister Penny when she goes out to make her business.
The bedroom: You and I will have cyber sex here, so don't be surprised.
By the fireplace: Don't be all scared if there is a lot of smoke in the house, because sometimes your mom forgets to open the damper.
Then I started back up the stairs and O' Lordy, I'm not as nimble as I once was, sorry Lappy, I'm going to have to get a hard hat for you.
oops I went boom all the way down
Penny was watching all my antics and this is what she thought about it:
You can tell by the bored look on her face, she has no sense of humour. Dink.
I live with two Dinks. I am the only sane person here. Well I'm not really sane, but closer than those two!!
So, today was supposed to be a day of relaxation. If you have ever read my blog in fall, you will know it's time for Gord to put his toys to bed, and run them one last time. Once again, we had:
1. A snowblower that we don't even need (remember! we have a snowblade now), running on the driveway.
2.) The stinking Lincoln, running on all 8 cylinders with emissions coming out of it's two tail pipes that would make Arnold S., come running all the way down from California to kill him.
3.) His leaf blower. I can't believe he did.not.gas himself! I finally ran to the back of the garage and opened the side door, it was lethal! But, he only coughs when I smoke.
4.) The motorcycle. Rum Rum Rum...Rum Rum Rum...till I thought I would loose my mind. Then he drove it through the gate into the back yard and parked in our shed. Can you imagine my surprise when I looked out the kitchen window and saw him riding his bike in the backyard!! At least this time he didn't try running over the dog. Not like last year.
5.) After all his babies we safe and sound and their batteries were taken care of, (whatever he does with them). THEN he got in my Explorer, attached the snowblade, and decided to grade our driveway. (we have no snow) people! I ran outside and I expressed my absolute disbelief that he was going to use a snowblade for leveling gravel. My last words were, "if you wreck that thing, don't come crying to me arsehole." He continued on. It was like my words were swept away with the wind.
God, if you are up there, tell him to just to cut it out already!!
So, then we had lunch. No, I did not poison him. The fumes will do that. After he left for the shop, I had the whole afternoon to myself and my new laptop that I haven't had any time to use. I wanted to put all my software on it, and just caress it in general. BUT, first the dang dog wanted to go for a walk! Crikey, can't anyone leave me heck alone! I did that. Came back home. My internet was gone! Poof!Wellfortheloveofpete, can't I catch a break? My new wireless router seemed to be a little cranky all weekend. I was shaking, I was so mad...this is the second router I have installed and I am still having problems!! So, I grabbed him by his two funny looking antenna's, shook him, turned him off, then spit on him. Whoa he seemed to like the rough stuff, I plugged him back in and I was back online. I guess they just have to know "who is the boss."
So, then I decided to take lappy for a spin around the house, after all she doesn't know where I may want to use her. After all it's been a month since I adopted her.
The bathroom: This was a chance for a little R&R and just some you and me time for lappy. So, Lappy, do you like the towels?
The kitchen table: We will spend a lot of time here, so I can keep an eye on the neighbor's and your half sister Penny when she goes out to make her business.
The bedroom: You and I will have cyber sex here, so don't be surprised.
By the fireplace: Don't be all scared if there is a lot of smoke in the house, because sometimes your mom forgets to open the damper.
Then I started back up the stairs and O' Lordy, I'm not as nimble as I once was, sorry Lappy, I'm going to have to get a hard hat for you.
oops I went boom all the way down
Penny was watching all my antics and this is what she thought about it:
You can tell by the bored look on her face, she has no sense of humour. Dink.
I live with two Dinks. I am the only sane person here. Well I'm not really sane, but closer than those two!!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I'm still under fire
Fortheloveofaduck ... I still got that gun to my head. I might just have to seek out that Mrs. Kennedy and fire one right back at her. I'm on day 11 of the blogging marathon.
Dosen't she know that I might blog drunk on Saturday nights? It could happen. And I might just want to fight her!! Mrs. Kennedy... bring it on...because I am tired and all this blogging shit was your idea, yeah Mrs. Kennedy. Bring it on.!!
Friday, November 10, 2006
On to better things
I am on holidays for a whole fucking week!! Excusea da frankephone. That is code for excuse my French, so spelling doesn't count. It never does in my blog, apparently!
I have a whole week TO MYSELF. No muss, no fuss. I'll damn well get up when I want to, I won't even get dressed. Okay, that is a lie. I will wear my oldest sweat pants..the one with hole in arse part. A little drafty, but nonetheless very soft and comfy. They are so old, they don't even leave any lint in the dryer. Now, that is comfortable!
I will slowly, but surely, mozzie around the house and pick up particles of dirt, and analyze it to make sure it is dirty enough for me to put my vacuum in that area. If not, it stays. I'm thinking of making an excel spreadsheet, and enter in the dirty areas and .. make a graph which will point me to the work areas that need doing. After all, what are computers for, blogs? I think not, they have more potential than that. I will have my house laid out in grids G1 (for Gee I have never even been in this room before) G2 (God look at the dog hair in here) G3 (Gosh darnit just look at that dirty kitchen floor)G4 (Gordon! try using the toilet) G5 (God..look at all those dust bunnies under our bed)! The last one is another lie, because dust bunnies can't get under our hippy water bed. They just park there asses behind the headboard where no vacuum can get them. They are invincible. And at night when the furnace comes on, they party back there. They fly up an down like fairies in the night. Sometimes a few of them fly right past the headboard and lodge in our noses when we are snoring. Then of course, we grunt, groan, and cough like ole folks do. This wakes up the dog. Now we have grunting, groaning, coughing and barking. Okay, now that we are awake, everyone has to take a piss, first Gord, then me, and then Penny. And we go back to bed, just to do it all over again at 5:00AM.
Who the hell cares.....I am on a weeks holiday!!!
I have a whole week TO MYSELF. No muss, no fuss. I'll damn well get up when I want to, I won't even get dressed. Okay, that is a lie. I will wear my oldest sweat pants..the one with hole in arse part. A little drafty, but nonetheless very soft and comfy. They are so old, they don't even leave any lint in the dryer. Now, that is comfortable!
I will slowly, but surely, mozzie around the house and pick up particles of dirt, and analyze it to make sure it is dirty enough for me to put my vacuum in that area. If not, it stays. I'm thinking of making an excel spreadsheet, and enter in the dirty areas and .. make a graph which will point me to the work areas that need doing. After all, what are computers for, blogs? I think not, they have more potential than that. I will have my house laid out in grids G1 (for Gee I have never even been in this room before) G2 (God look at the dog hair in here) G3 (Gosh darnit just look at that dirty kitchen floor)G4 (Gordon! try using the toilet) G5 (God..look at all those dust bunnies under our bed)! The last one is another lie, because dust bunnies can't get under our hippy water bed. They just park there asses behind the headboard where no vacuum can get them. They are invincible. And at night when the furnace comes on, they party back there. They fly up an down like fairies in the night. Sometimes a few of them fly right past the headboard and lodge in our noses when we are snoring. Then of course, we grunt, groan, and cough like ole folks do. This wakes up the dog. Now we have grunting, groaning, coughing and barking. Okay, now that we are awake, everyone has to take a piss, first Gord, then me, and then Penny. And we go back to bed, just to do it all over again at 5:00AM.
Who the hell cares.....I am on a weeks holiday!!!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Part 11
Okay I will regale the tale 11
After hippychick and then boyfriend starting going out, "D" was upset because the boyfriend neglected to tell her it was over, not that I think anything much was going on anyway. And I guess she has had that pot simmering over all these years as well as the pot she is still steaming about on the stove with her husband, because she mentioned her old love. How's that for a long unrelated sentence. She felt very sorry for hippychick because she had been wronged all these years ago by him, because he was the same kind of womanizer as her husband. and now the same thing happened to her. Gawwd Hippychick got over that a. long. time. ago.
She told me her husband of 30 years was "fucking every chick in the county"...did she only find that out after all these years? or had she know this for years and ignored it? I don't know, it was hard to get the facts. After all this time did her husband finally find that his prick worked and decided to use it in all the wrong places? It's a mystery to me.
What I gleaned from our Saturday night conversation, was that her husband was a whore monger, she left him, took nothing but the clothes on her back and her dog, and moved away to another state, and now lives like a pauper.
In her next sentence, she told me she was a grandma for the 3rd. time.! I was trying to get the conversation going with the new grandchild, but it always got back to the crap. I asked about her family, and got caught up with who did what. I asked about her kids, and she more or less said that they were on their dad's side and it it was difficult....oy...
She phoned this morning. I guess she forgot I worked.(she is a retired nurse). Gord answered the phone, apparently he does not work either. And said she couldn't come on the date we agreed upon as she could not get the appointment with her hearing specialist the day she wanted to come here. So, that brings us up to December.
I may be overeacting to this, but I would love for her to come over if she is still the person I reconnected with 12 years ago at her school reunion and was still the girl I knew when we were 16. Gord and I totally crashed the reunion! We had so much fun with all our American friends. We even sent Gord for a "beer run" just like the good ole days!!
She was very happy then, so I don't know what happened.
I just don't like "needy"...and that's what I am getting from her. But, if she wants to come here, and have fun, that would be good. Because that's all I got to give. I am sure the divorce was like her husband had died, but he was still alive. You still have the body..and no headstone. I can feel her pain. But I can't deal with all that information from a person I have not seen in decades. I have my own crosses to bear. I feel guilty. But, I just don't want to involve myself with a whole bunch of shit. I know where that goes.....>> in the pooper.
Well, lets see what happens, but one thing I will establish when she phones again, is that the dog has to stay at home if she comes here. Penny is a very hyper dog, and as you know does not play well with other dogs. I can't imagine an entire weekend trying to keep her from that poor dogs jugular.
God..I have to post again tomorrow. I better win a good prize. This is getting crazy I tells you!!
After hippychick and then boyfriend starting going out, "D" was upset because the boyfriend neglected to tell her it was over, not that I think anything much was going on anyway. And I guess she has had that pot simmering over all these years as well as the pot she is still steaming about on the stove with her husband, because she mentioned her old love. How's that for a long unrelated sentence. She felt very sorry for hippychick because she had been wronged all these years ago by him, because he was the same kind of womanizer as her husband. and now the same thing happened to her. Gawwd Hippychick got over that a. long. time. ago.
She told me her husband of 30 years was "fucking every chick in the county"...did she only find that out after all these years? or had she know this for years and ignored it? I don't know, it was hard to get the facts. After all this time did her husband finally find that his prick worked and decided to use it in all the wrong places? It's a mystery to me.
What I gleaned from our Saturday night conversation, was that her husband was a whore monger, she left him, took nothing but the clothes on her back and her dog, and moved away to another state, and now lives like a pauper.
In her next sentence, she told me she was a grandma for the 3rd. time.! I was trying to get the conversation going with the new grandchild, but it always got back to the crap. I asked about her family, and got caught up with who did what. I asked about her kids, and she more or less said that they were on their dad's side and it it was difficult....oy...
She phoned this morning. I guess she forgot I worked.(she is a retired nurse). Gord answered the phone, apparently he does not work either. And said she couldn't come on the date we agreed upon as she could not get the appointment with her hearing specialist the day she wanted to come here. So, that brings us up to December.
I may be overeacting to this, but I would love for her to come over if she is still the person I reconnected with 12 years ago at her school reunion and was still the girl I knew when we were 16. Gord and I totally crashed the reunion! We had so much fun with all our American friends. We even sent Gord for a "beer run" just like the good ole days!!
She was very happy then, so I don't know what happened.
I just don't like "needy"...and that's what I am getting from her. But, if she wants to come here, and have fun, that would be good. Because that's all I got to give. I am sure the divorce was like her husband had died, but he was still alive. You still have the body..and no headstone. I can feel her pain. But I can't deal with all that information from a person I have not seen in decades. I have my own crosses to bear. I feel guilty. But, I just don't want to involve myself with a whole bunch of shit. I know where that goes.....>> in the pooper.
Well, lets see what happens, but one thing I will establish when she phones again, is that the dog has to stay at home if she comes here. Penny is a very hyper dog, and as you know does not play well with other dogs. I can't imagine an entire weekend trying to keep her from that poor dogs jugular.
God..I have to post again tomorrow. I better win a good prize. This is getting crazy I tells you!!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I have a dilemma part 1
Do you remember the old friend who contacted me last Saturday?
She phoned me last night, and wants to come to visit for a weekend. Huh? She lives in the US and it is a 300 mile trip. And she want's to bring her dog. halp.
I was a little flabbergasted, and was trying to remember what I had said to her on Saturday that would make her think we could spend an entire weekend together. I came up empty. But, knowing my big mouth, I must have said, "if you are ever in Winnipeg...comeonover"!! ..for the day (that was what was in my head).
She said she was setting up an appointment her hearing specialist in Winnipeg, and wanted to know which date would be suitable for me ..and kill two bird's with one stone so to speak.
Okay.
The whole weekend? OMG
What do I do with a virtual stranger? I know she is bitter, lonely and has just come through a horrific divorce. When she introduced herself to me on the phone on Saturday, (after I swore at her, thinking she was SK) She said, "It's me "D" and I'm divorced. That is who she thinks she is right now..divorced. Not "D."
I know a friend of hers really well, that has been keeping me informed about what she is going through, and we have talked at some length. She says it will do "D" a lot of good to renew some old friendships and maybe she can start moving on. I will try, but I am scared. What do I do with her for a whole weekend? What will we talk about?..High school? We didn't even go to the same school, I was just her brother's girlfriend. We knew a lot of the same people. Work with me here, I am trying to justify my feelings.
You all know "hippychick"...
Well her husband was "D's" first boyfriend before they were married after she got pregnant with his child. Only because he had too...my god they were only 18 years old. I was hippychicks bridesmaid, and I had to push her down the isle, because she did not want to get married.
But I digress... "D" had not quite come to terms with the break up of her and hippychicks soon to be husband.
part 11.. tomorrow.
She phoned me last night, and wants to come to visit for a weekend. Huh? She lives in the US and it is a 300 mile trip. And she want's to bring her dog. halp.
I was a little flabbergasted, and was trying to remember what I had said to her on Saturday that would make her think we could spend an entire weekend together. I came up empty. But, knowing my big mouth, I must have said, "if you are ever in Winnipeg...comeonover"!! ..for the day (that was what was in my head).
She said she was setting up an appointment her hearing specialist in Winnipeg, and wanted to know which date would be suitable for me ..and kill two bird's with one stone so to speak.
Okay.
The whole weekend? OMG
What do I do with a virtual stranger? I know she is bitter, lonely and has just come through a horrific divorce. When she introduced herself to me on the phone on Saturday, (after I swore at her, thinking she was SK) She said, "It's me "D" and I'm divorced. That is who she thinks she is right now..divorced. Not "D."
I know a friend of hers really well, that has been keeping me informed about what she is going through, and we have talked at some length. She says it will do "D" a lot of good to renew some old friendships and maybe she can start moving on. I will try, but I am scared. What do I do with her for a whole weekend? What will we talk about?..High school? We didn't even go to the same school, I was just her brother's girlfriend. We knew a lot of the same people. Work with me here, I am trying to justify my feelings.
You all know "hippychick"...
Well her husband was "D's" first boyfriend before they were married after she got pregnant with his child. Only because he had too...my god they were only 18 years old. I was hippychicks bridesmaid, and I had to push her down the isle, because she did not want to get married.
But I digress... "D" had not quite come to terms with the break up of her and hippychicks soon to be husband.
part 11.. tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I scalded myself!
While making wine.
How could you do that, saith you?
Well, I was cleaning out the "Carboy"... That's wine talk for a huge glass vat that holds the wine after you have fermented it in a HUGE plastic pail. And, yes I have more than one. One can never have to many Carboy's. Just like pool boys or Greenskeepers.
We have a bathroom downstairs where I have my grow opp. Is that one "p" or two? This is where I keep my Cowboy's ... opps Carboy's and all my wine making shit. It's awesome.
Well, today was wine making day, the first step had fermented, and I was about to start step 2. But, I had not washed out the Carboy's from the last session. This entails, bringing them into the bathroom, setting them in the tub, and turning on the hose to wash them out. I turned on the hot water tap first, and the hose that is attached to the tap started to spin out of control and the hot water hit my wrist, and scalded it. Do you know why normal hot water coming from a tap scalded my wrist, because "plow boy" turned up the hot water heater to high. You see, that bathroom is on the lower level, and by the time any hot water gets to the upper level, where we actually live, it's cooler and our dishwasher doesn't get the dishes clean...are you still with me? If not, nevermind. I will live.
I need pictures to describe the wine making process, but of course my friking camera batteries are dead AGAIN. I paid good money for those rechargable batteries and they are not worth a pinch of coon shit.
I am on holiday next week!! Time to relax and get to know my lappytop. I have to admit I find a 17" screen on a laptop a little disturbing. Everything is so stretched out it looks ridiculous. If you send me your pic, I will think your head has been stomped upon by a bunch of gang bangers. I don't know how people can watch the new TV's with the wide screens. It just looks silly. God knows I look fat enough in a normal pic, I don't need me no stretching..oh no.
How could you do that, saith you?
Well, I was cleaning out the "Carboy"... That's wine talk for a huge glass vat that holds the wine after you have fermented it in a HUGE plastic pail. And, yes I have more than one. One can never have to many Carboy's. Just like pool boys or Greenskeepers.
We have a bathroom downstairs where I have my grow opp. Is that one "p" or two? This is where I keep my Cowboy's ... opps Carboy's and all my wine making shit. It's awesome.
Well, today was wine making day, the first step had fermented, and I was about to start step 2. But, I had not washed out the Carboy's from the last session. This entails, bringing them into the bathroom, setting them in the tub, and turning on the hose to wash them out. I turned on the hot water tap first, and the hose that is attached to the tap started to spin out of control and the hot water hit my wrist, and scalded it. Do you know why normal hot water coming from a tap scalded my wrist, because "plow boy" turned up the hot water heater to high. You see, that bathroom is on the lower level, and by the time any hot water gets to the upper level, where we actually live, it's cooler and our dishwasher doesn't get the dishes clean...are you still with me? If not, nevermind. I will live.
I need pictures to describe the wine making process, but of course my friking camera batteries are dead AGAIN. I paid good money for those rechargable batteries and they are not worth a pinch of coon shit.
I am on holiday next week!! Time to relax and get to know my lappytop. I have to admit I find a 17" screen on a laptop a little disturbing. Everything is so stretched out it looks ridiculous. If you send me your pic, I will think your head has been stomped upon by a bunch of gang bangers. I don't know how people can watch the new TV's with the wide screens. It just looks silly. God knows I look fat enough in a normal pic, I don't need me no stretching..oh no.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I don't know...
I don't think I can come up with a blog a day for a whole month. I might just have to demit. I don't really have enough interesting stuff to say, nor do I have the time to write about what I would deem interesting about my life.
Just a note: Most of the snow is gone..galdangit. Warm temp's are back, just in time to make me feel guilty for not raking up the leaves. Most of them are still on the trees.
I need me a Greenskeeper. With a tattoo. And big muscles. And .. well you know.
I think I am experiencing some record heat.
I'll take my med's
Niters
Just a note: Most of the snow is gone..galdangit. Warm temp's are back, just in time to make me feel guilty for not raking up the leaves. Most of them are still on the trees.
I need me a Greenskeeper. With a tattoo. And big muscles. And .. well you know.
I think I am experiencing some record heat.
I'll take my med's
Niters
Sunday, November 05, 2006
I did it!!
I got my wireless network working.
I.am.so.smart!
Not really, the D Link was just a piece of crap. It's back in the Future Shop bag from whence it came, ready for some name calling when I produce my receipt and my long long story, on how it almost gave me and my two children (desktoppy and lappy) herpes. I think I will sent it back with Gord, I'm not good at confrontations, he on the other hand lives for it. He should really start a new business called the "REFUND GUY." His slogan could be..."YOU BOUGHT IT, I FOUGHT IT." But, that is past tense, hmmmm.. what about "YOU BUY IT, I'LL FRY IT!"
I have had a serious lack of sleep, so I'm blogging "punchy."
I still have to get desktoppy and lappy to communicate together, but that will be another day, when I can scoop up some unsuspecting friend that has 1 smidgen of "My Network" knowledge, that I have not approached once before. It's slim pickin's I tell you. I running on empty.
Sunday night supper:
Centipede Stew
One small problem, I forgot to put the Centipede in the pot and he was desperately trying to get in on the fun!! Nothing better than Centipede drumsticks..and so many of them! Yum.
Like I mentioned last night. I got a call from an old friend I haven't seen for a trillion years. When I answered the phone, she played with me for awhile and said, guess who this is? Ohhh man! I hate that. Then I thought it was Special K, playing a game with me. HA... I said " KAT...how in the fuck are you?" and it wasn't Kat..heh! It was my long lost friend..and I said the "F" word. geezzz... ma face was red.
After that we had a long chat and got caught up in each other lives. Her brother was my 2nd. boyfriend many years ago, so that is how we hooked up. She is in the midst of a messy divorce. So, I heard a lot of moaning and groaning. Lord. Getting divorced after 30 years of marriage and 3 children. It's heart breaking.
Time for me to hit the hay, Gord is already snoring his brains out. He was pretty tired after driving all the way from London Ontario this weekend. He and his bro drove all the way back without stopping to sleep. I was so pissed at them. BIL bought a car called a Prowler. It's a cute little car, very unusual. It's only a two seater and they were basically sitting in a cockpit all the way back. Fortheloveofmenandtheretoys!!!
Anyway I gotta fly, before me peepers peepout.
balonie
I.am.so.smart!
Not really, the D Link was just a piece of crap. It's back in the Future Shop bag from whence it came, ready for some name calling when I produce my receipt and my long long story, on how it almost gave me and my two children (desktoppy and lappy) herpes. I think I will sent it back with Gord, I'm not good at confrontations, he on the other hand lives for it. He should really start a new business called the "REFUND GUY." His slogan could be..."YOU BOUGHT IT, I FOUGHT IT." But, that is past tense, hmmmm.. what about "YOU BUY IT, I'LL FRY IT!"
I have had a serious lack of sleep, so I'm blogging "punchy."
I still have to get desktoppy and lappy to communicate together, but that will be another day, when I can scoop up some unsuspecting friend that has 1 smidgen of "My Network" knowledge, that I have not approached once before. It's slim pickin's I tell you. I running on empty.
Sunday night supper:
Centipede Stew
One small problem, I forgot to put the Centipede in the pot and he was desperately trying to get in on the fun!! Nothing better than Centipede drumsticks..and so many of them! Yum.
Like I mentioned last night. I got a call from an old friend I haven't seen for a trillion years. When I answered the phone, she played with me for awhile and said, guess who this is? Ohhh man! I hate that. Then I thought it was Special K, playing a game with me. HA... I said " KAT...how in the fuck are you?" and it wasn't Kat..heh! It was my long lost friend..and I said the "F" word. geezzz... ma face was red.
After that we had a long chat and got caught up in each other lives. Her brother was my 2nd. boyfriend many years ago, so that is how we hooked up. She is in the midst of a messy divorce. So, I heard a lot of moaning and groaning. Lord. Getting divorced after 30 years of marriage and 3 children. It's heart breaking.
Time for me to hit the hay, Gord is already snoring his brains out. He was pretty tired after driving all the way from London Ontario this weekend. He and his bro drove all the way back without stopping to sleep. I was so pissed at them. BIL bought a car called a Prowler. It's a cute little car, very unusual. It's only a two seater and they were basically sitting in a cockpit all the way back. Fortheloveofmenandtheretoys!!!
Anyway I gotta fly, before me peepers peepout.
balonie
Just in case
I am doing a quick post, just in case my computer crashes. I am doing some maintenance ...HA HA. Good luck to me for I am computer stupido.
I may never see you internets again.
Adious
I may never see you internets again.
Adious
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I hope I made the deadline...
Oh boy oh boy...I almost forgot to post today. I spent most of the afternoon screwing with my template. I will finish it tomorrow.
Gord got back tonight from London Ontario with his bro. I think they should marry each other. They are a match made in heaven.
See youse guys on Sunday....
Just a note, I just got a call .. a blast from the past .. from a girlfriend I have not seen in 25 years. Whoa...more on that tomorrow.
Gord got back tonight from London Ontario with his bro. I think they should marry each other. They are a match made in heaven.
See youse guys on Sunday....
Just a note, I just got a call .. a blast from the past .. from a girlfriend I have not seen in 25 years. Whoa...more on that tomorrow.
Friday, November 03, 2006
The Balonie Chronicles
I am having a Balonie day. I am so full of balonie I could burst. "poof"...and balonie would spew into your faces. Nice..huh? You couldn't even cut it with a knife.
I'm going to make up a game, and tell you 5 truths about me with 1 lie in it. If you can pick up on the lie..you will win a dishwasher. Brenda didn't pick it up the last time she won it. What's up wit that? It still works! It only looks like shit. Fussy people.
So,if you think you know me...go for it!
1. I change my template at least once every two months
2. I drive an Ford Explorer, with a big MF'r snowblade on it
3. I have patio block issues
4. I love baloney fried with noodles and eggs with some ketchup.
5. I miss my husband, who left this morning for Ontario to pick up a car with his bro.
I would love to tell you the right answer, because I am having such a nice night curled up with my Penny. No fuss no muss. No crap, no drama.
I thunk I gave it away. So, I guess I will keep the dishwasher.
Unless Brenda still wants it?
Just one more thing. I found the most amusing website that will put GOOGLE to shame.
It is so funny, especially if you don't put your question in first...HAAAAA Make her work for it.
Okay..let me see where I put it. Okay it's not on my desk, and not in my wine glass, where is the fucking thing? Oh, shit it's right on a post-it-note on my monitor. How clever of me. Heads up:
http://www.msdewey.com
That's all folks!
I'm going to make up a game, and tell you 5 truths about me with 1 lie in it. If you can pick up on the lie..you will win a dishwasher. Brenda didn't pick it up the last time she won it. What's up wit that? It still works! It only looks like shit. Fussy people.
So,if you think you know me...go for it!
1. I change my template at least once every two months
2. I drive an Ford Explorer, with a big MF'r snowblade on it
3. I have patio block issues
4. I love baloney fried with noodles and eggs with some ketchup.
5. I miss my husband, who left this morning for Ontario to pick up a car with his bro.
I would love to tell you the right answer, because I am having such a nice night curled up with my Penny. No fuss no muss. No crap, no drama.
I thunk I gave it away. So, I guess I will keep the dishwasher.
Unless Brenda still wants it?
Just one more thing. I found the most amusing website that will put GOOGLE to shame.
It is so funny, especially if you don't put your question in first...HAAAAA Make her work for it.
Okay..let me see where I put it. Okay it's not on my desk, and not in my wine glass, where is the fucking thing? Oh, shit it's right on a post-it-note on my monitor. How clever of me. Heads up:
http://www.msdewey.com
That's all folks!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Wireless is for the lonely
My wireless laptop, is still lesswire.
All my so called techie friends, have left the country. They no longer want to partake in a drink or two to fix the problem. I am looking at my laptop with disdain. The same laptop I almost breastfed. I am such a fool.
I am looking way, way up into the skies for signs of your signal. Why, wireless signal are you not coming to my house? Why oh why? I took off all my fridge magnets, just in case your beams were bouncing them off my computer. I turned off my ceiling fan, my washer, dryer, dishwasher, fridge, stove, microwave, TV, DVD player and finally the furnace to make way for your signal. You don't give me anything, unless you call 5% connectivity something. I hate you! And I am getting cold. The furnace was a last ditch effort. I hate you. Unless you didn't hear me the first time.
Personally, I think my router is trying to make contact with "Sputnik"...and if my memory serves me correctly, I was watching that sucker orbit the earth in 1957. So, if that is true, I can see why it is having communication problems in 2006.
Look at this!
The Sputnik launch changed everything. As a technical achievement, Sputnik caught the world's attention and the American public off-guard. Its size was more impressive than Vanguard's intended 3.5-pound payload. In addition, the public feared that the Soviets' ability to launch satellites also translated into the capability to launch ballistic missiles that could carry nuclear weapons from Europe to the U.S. Then the Soviets struck again; on November 3, Sputnik II was launched, carrying a much heavier payload, including a dog named Laika
OMG, it could be true. I might have a router that goes back in time.
Who do I tell? Michael J. Fox?
If Future Shop sold me a router that can go back in time, then I have struck GOLD.
But, the downside is, Sputnik is caput! And my router, poor little baby is still looking for the mothership! Leaving me wireless.
Do I sell it on EBay? Giving all the details? How much do you think I could garner for a router that only sees the past? BIG BUCKS! If people can sell pieces of toast that look like Jesus, I can sell a router who sees sputnik.
So, at last I have worked my way through my problem. That was writing is for, thinking things through, analyzing the problem, and coming to a conclusion.
I must apologize to any of you who came from Fussy's site to read my blog, I am not a polished writer as she is, and I know she likes all her i's dotted and t's crossed. But as much as I admire her, I just write from my heart.
balonie
All my so called techie friends, have left the country. They no longer want to partake in a drink or two to fix the problem. I am looking at my laptop with disdain. The same laptop I almost breastfed. I am such a fool.
I am looking way, way up into the skies for signs of your signal. Why, wireless signal are you not coming to my house? Why oh why? I took off all my fridge magnets, just in case your beams were bouncing them off my computer. I turned off my ceiling fan, my washer, dryer, dishwasher, fridge, stove, microwave, TV, DVD player and finally the furnace to make way for your signal. You don't give me anything, unless you call 5% connectivity something. I hate you! And I am getting cold. The furnace was a last ditch effort. I hate you. Unless you didn't hear me the first time.
Personally, I think my router is trying to make contact with "Sputnik"...and if my memory serves me correctly, I was watching that sucker orbit the earth in 1957. So, if that is true, I can see why it is having communication problems in 2006.
Look at this!
The Sputnik launch changed everything. As a technical achievement, Sputnik caught the world's attention and the American public off-guard. Its size was more impressive than Vanguard's intended 3.5-pound payload. In addition, the public feared that the Soviets' ability to launch satellites also translated into the capability to launch ballistic missiles that could carry nuclear weapons from Europe to the U.S. Then the Soviets struck again; on November 3, Sputnik II was launched, carrying a much heavier payload, including a dog named Laika
OMG, it could be true. I might have a router that goes back in time.
Who do I tell? Michael J. Fox?
If Future Shop sold me a router that can go back in time, then I have struck GOLD.
But, the downside is, Sputnik is caput! And my router, poor little baby is still looking for the mothership! Leaving me wireless.
Do I sell it on EBay? Giving all the details? How much do you think I could garner for a router that only sees the past? BIG BUCKS! If people can sell pieces of toast that look like Jesus, I can sell a router who sees sputnik.
So, at last I have worked my way through my problem. That was writing is for, thinking things through, analyzing the problem, and coming to a conclusion.
I must apologize to any of you who came from Fussy's site to read my blog, I am not a polished writer as she is, and I know she likes all her i's dotted and t's crossed. But as much as I admire her, I just write from my heart.
balonie
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
November is National Blog Posting Month
You have to make do a "blog-a-day" or ummmm you might get shot. Just saying what I heard, don't get excited. "Fussy", a very amusing blogger started this last month, and it has taken off "like crazzie mon". You get to win prizes, and I want the one "Very Mom" is shaking in front of my face. A free template from a qualified person, no less. No, mish mash monkey business like I normally come across.
Now, I know I have made it hard for you to access their blogs, only because I don't know how to link stuff. If I had more than 10 minutes of spare time a day, you would see a nice little blue link, but alas, I am an ass. Just goggle it if you are in the least bit interested. But, if you sign up on Fussy's blog, make sure you post every stinking day, OR..she will shoot you.
Okay, I have the link, but it's not a hidden one like the pro's do, that say look here, and here, and here, till you what to throw up, and your finger gets tired of punching in the links that take you to a web sites you don't care about.
http://www.fussy.org/
We are still climbing out the storm that mudder nature sent up on Monday. Finally, the folks driving are getting the hang of winter again. Gord has hooked the snow blade on my Explorer on Monday, and it's still there. He was going to do some work at the shop with it, but didn't have time. So, I get to drive the truck with Mr. Snow-blade attached.
It has made for an interesting day or two.
When the truck is parked, Mr. Snow-blade must be in the down position. There is a control unit inside which lets you control the hydraulics. And when you want to drive you have to put Mr. snow-blade in the upward position so he can't plow, while you are driving.
This afternoon, I made a little "oopsie". When I left work to come home for lunch, I just hopped in my truck and took off. Meanwhile, Mr. snow-blade was "in the down position" ready for some action. I got about a block before I realized I was pushing snow and ice. There was so much noise going on I couldn't hear the radio, forshitsake! Fortunately, I was at a stop sign when I noticed my error, and released the blade to the upward position, and she generously dumped the load on the street, and I went on my merry way. Had I not noticed it, I would have saved the City of Winnipeg 4500.00 in snow plowing fees before I got home. But, realistically, without moving the blade from side to side to move the snow, I would have broken the sucker off, and my ass would not have been worth 2 cents.
I must admit, I am finding this kinda of cool. I'm getting the hang of it. I'm ready to do me some snow dumping.
So, if you want to join in the NABLOPOMO ..go ahead, I dare you!!
balonie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)