Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I have a little egg on my face

Apparently, the doctor was not the problem, Gord was. I actually followed through and went to the doctor with him. 3 points for me, because I never follow through with my threats.

I guess Gord is in somewhat of denial, and I only get half the information I need from him. When I asked what the doctor said, he would say blah blah blah, ending with "I hate taking pills." I only heard blah blah blah ...because I didn't really want to know anyway. It goes two ways.

The end result was: all the pills he is taking is called a "cocktail" of new age myocardial infarction (fancy word for an incident) pills. "Altace" the blood pressure pill serves two purposes, one to keep the pressure at bay, the other is to condition his blood vessels to keep them strong. The pills come in three strengths 2.5 - 5 - 10 mgs. You are supposed to start at 2.5 graduate to 5 and for optimum performance go to 10. Side effects are usually dry mouth and light headiness. He only had the dizzy feeling everyday after taking the 5 mg. pill. Some people can't tolerate a higher doses, and that is what we are trying to figure out now, is his light headiness from the pill? So the doc pulled it down back to 2.5 mg. at my suggestion.

I hope I don't kill him with kindness and let the doc do his work. Maybe it's vertigo as the doc suggested or something else. Anyway, we will go this route for a week to see if he gets over that feeling.

I was truly surprised how much I liked the doctor. He answered all my questions about Gord's incident, and more. Of course when I got out of there, I forgot to ask the one I really wanted to know..fudge. I might even go the doctor myself, now that I'm not so scared of him. You see, our regular doc retired and he took over his practice, and I have never been back since.. in.... ohhhhh about 10 years.. yeah I know, don't give me no grief!

So, now that I know the whole story, I can store that in my very small memory bank, and quit obsessing. It's a good thing I never had kids, they would have been in the ER most of their lives. Don't ask me how many times I take Penny to the vet. Yet, when I do, it is exactly what I did to the doctor...and tell them this is what I think it is...let's do it my way. I am the caretaker so I think I know it all. I could kill both Penny and Gord with my obsessions if the doc's and vet's listen to my version. Seriously, it's really not that bad, but sometimes I think I embellish symptoms to suit what I think is wrong with them.

I took the whole afternoon off from work yesterday to go to the doc's with Gord, and it only took half an hour, so I treated myself to a much needed haircut, grocery shopping without having to be hurried, and did some browsing in the mall. It was very relaxing. Normally I try to do everything on the weekend plus housework and laundry. I need more days like that.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mother hen

I changed my template BY MISTAKE! I was fooling around with them yesterday and today, and holy moly, I ended up with this one that I had sometime back. I just left it there because I'm pretty well over template madness. The one I chose yesterday was pretty was nice, but it wasn't right, and of course I knocked off my haloscan gawdernit!! Nothing ever goes right around here..never.

Tomorrow I have to go fight with Gordon's doctor. The guy is a jerk! Dr. Who, increased his blood pressure med's from 2.5 mg when he was in the hospital to 5 mg. last month when Gord went in for a check up. He never even took a blood pressure test or anything, he just wrote a prescription doubling it for 30 days. He also prescribed a "hold" on another 80 day prescription after this one was finished where he pooped it up to 10mg.

WHAT THE FUCK! These med's usually take at least three weeks to kick in. Gord was taking the 5 mg. for exactly 3 weeks when he started to experience lightheadiness, and felt unbalanced. He has already been to the doctor telling him that he felt a little dizzy at times 3 weeks ago when he started taking them, the doc said ..."oh those damn pharmacists always try to scare you when you are changing med's" and tell you about every side effect and scare you." So, Gord believed him, and he didn't experience any side effects until this week. I checked out the "Altace" website today, and all my suspicions were confirmed. His blood pressure is going too low. He takes his pill about 10:00AM every morning and by 1:00PM he feels lightheaded. He feels this way all afternoon until about 6:00PM. And now this jerk is going to try to get him to take 10mgs.!!! He will be doing face plants!

I made an appointment for him tomorrow to get to the root of this crap.
Gord doesn't express himself in the doctor's office the way he should, and just leaves believing all this shit, and then we get into it when he gets home. I got my facts in my back pocket this time, and as a chicken shit I am about authority, I WILL be there tomorrow, this is way to important to ignore and hope it goes away. That is what we did with his symptoms last Christmas, and the doc never called up back after the tests. Not this time .. even if I have to conjure up "balonie"...she's the one with the big mouth. One of us will be there.

Friday, May 25, 2007

About my blog

I haven't made this template my home yet, because NOW, I have to be sure this is the one I want in order to put all the shitz on the sidebar and I can't copy and paste my links and so on. It's put a pretty big "boot to the head" for me. As you know I WAS THE QUEEN OF TEMPLATES. I have me some thinking to do. All the templates I like are still the old ones. I didn't mind the "flying geese" one, but it sorta looked oldfartie..y'know...and that just isn't me. It took me long enough (3 years) to figure out HTML, and then blogger pulls a fast one on me!

Did you hear the lastest? "Special K" beat up her neighbour with a rolling pin!! That is so cool. Go see for yourself (NOTE: she just took the post down) dang. It turns out she and her neighbour got into a row about the noise. The neighbour was about to beat her ass with a hockey stick NHL style, until SK, took to the kitchen and brought out the heavy artillary..her "rolling pin"...and the games began. SHIT! I love a women who stands up for herself. Especially with a rolling pin! Quaint, but effective.



It doesn't get better than that.

Kat, I sure hope she's gone for good. Disclaimer...that woman in the picture is not Special K. It's me. I getting ready for the Rolling Pin playoffs in Winnipeg next week. Yesteday we fine tuned our "rolling pin" stances. It's much like sword fighting but with a round wooden thing with a handle. Our instructor told us to face each other, draw up our rolling pins, and yell. "ohpie"!..which means, who ever looses has to roll the pie dough. After that we spar for a few minutes with rolling pins flying in the air, while trying to poke each others eyes out with the handle. The less eyesight the oponinent has, you win. I just love RPG (Rolling Pin Group.)

After class, those of us who can still see, or hear, or don't have concusions...make an apple pie. This place is a Rolling Pin Dojo. All our aggressions have been released, and PIE is on the menu. And, in my class if you don't bring vanilla ice-cream to top it off with, they smack you on the head with a rolling pin. AGAIN. It's not a sport for those who are weak of mind or spirit or anything at all. It's just plain crazy, yes crazy.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A message to my neices & schtuff

Lisa and Cheri.....Do you asshats still read my blog? heh..that will get them out of their holes. Auntie Joanie can only be ignored for so long. An email might be nice, I'm getting older ya know.

Nothing like guilting the youngsters. Hey...I have a ugly mole. But don't worry it's on my lawn. HA

I have some pic's today of the flowers I am flowersitting for my neighbour whose husband had a stroke. It's still a big struggle for him and he is still not out of ICU after two weeks. God plays tricks on ya sometimes. My heart goes out to them. They had it all going, with early retirement and having time for themselves. gaaaaaa..




Isn't it bad enough that we are inindated with advertising everywhere we go, along with every radio and TV station we listen to....and then, when you are quitely sipping a gallon of wine on your own personal deck, whilst scratching your own personal privates, and picking your own personal nose, ...you have assholes like these...about 100 feet in the air above your private space, looking at your crotchrocket. There is no privacy left in this world.


I could see them waving at me!! fortheloveofmike. Click on the pic!! Penny was going ballistic, barking "F*k youse guys, get offa my sky!! (she's Italian) She danced around the yard on two legs, trying to bite the balloon. Finally she scared them away, and I could scratch my privates in peace. That is why my friends, you should get a dog.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I can't stop blogging!!

I got my blogging hat back on. It's a dunce hat, but a hat no less.

Know what I did today?

I didn't think so. About a month ago we hired "professionals" to do a winter clean up in the back 40. We waited, and then we waited some more. Nothing "professional" happened back there. In fact, it was starting to resemble a large bowl of oatmeal, with dog shit floating on top along with broken tree branches for dessert.

No good ever comes out of anyone we hire to do something at our house. Never. A couple of years ago, I hired carpet cleaners to do the rugs, ... they dropped some heavy equipment and it slammed into a wall and put a hole in it. It took a month to have it fixed, and it still looks like shit. The paint did not match. We had new flooring put in the kitchen, and the guy put too much glue where the flooring met the carpet, and there is a lump. I see it everyday, and I want to thump him each morning before I have my coffee. I can't let it go. When we first moved here, I hired a reputable company to fertilize our lawn to keep it green and shiny. About two weeks later it was dead as a doornail. Brown. It went from luscious to dead. Apparently an employee had an issue with the company and sprayed "Round Up" on all his calls that day. The company's insurance covered it, but the guys who redid it made a shitty job. It was never the same. Such is our life. About three years ago we hired a landscaping company to shore up the topsoil in the garden, and in the back yard. They put down "dust." I could have taken all the dust out of my house and put in the back yard and let it blow away, instead of paying them for dust. Until today, what dust they put down and didn't fly away, will not nourish a plant, and when we mow the lawn we have to wear gas masks. No good ever comes of phoning "professionals."

Gord has been phoning "professionals" all this week to come and look at the crack in the basement wall that has been causing us all the grief in spring with flooding. No good will come of this. No good... at all. If we hire him, either he won't show up, or he will further damage the wall, or he will set fire to our house.

Fortunately Gord is an Appliance Repair Tech, so we don't have to phone "professionals" to fix our appliances. But, it is odd, that when one has a "professional" at hand, how long it takes him to address the problem at home? Apparently, his customers come first. Well, at least he hasn't ever broken anything, or killed someone. Not yet..anyway.

Just a PS...

Sunday Night Supper:

Cut up 3 fresh chicken tits..um three breasts..slap me!
Garlic & onion

Fry it all up...add 1 can of reduced salt and fat mushroom soup (which I like to refer to as dishwater)along with 1/2 cup of chicken broth, then add two cups of mixed veggies of your choice. I added a generous amount of Mrs. Dash Original Seasoning Blend, plus pepper. Mix it all about. Let simmer for a year. Serve with brown rice.

Actually it was very good. We will have the rest for lunch tomorrow on toast. If we live.

I seriously want a banana cream pie...the whole pie...not just a slice. I can taste it. ... balonie is still sitting on my shoulder whispering evil thoughts in my head and I can feel her breath in my ear...bitch. But,....banana cream pie, KFC...how much longer can I hold out. HALP

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Bahh Humbug

Did you know you have to refucking type all your links when you change your template.

It's a good thing it's a long weekend.

I got tired of those birds flapping up there, I think this looks much more professional, and as you know I'm all about being that...paleeeese.

I'm off to do some grocery shopping. I'm going to Superstore, so I have to put on my Sumo wrestling gear, because I'm going have to wrassell a whole bunch of foreigners for a cart. Buying KFC would be so much easier. Nice greasy KFC.yum. lalalalala, I can't hear you balonie.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Why is there air?

Bill Cosby asked this at one time (before most of you were born); he said, .....to blow up basketballs!

You are probably asking yourselves ..why is Joan using the ; after that sentence? I like using the ; when I feel like it. I have no regard for puncuation and sentence structure. I think I should use it more often, because it's the most lonely part of my keyboard, and I need to keep them all happy. I am all about keeping the peace.

I haven't used # for sometime. # has been bugging me for years...whining and crying..why aren't you using me? I sent # an email yesterday telling him,I don't need me no crybabies #. And don't be telling me you will need me when I using my cell phone.

Then % got on my case. Well, for the loveofmike, % percentage, how often do I use you? Once? Twice? a year? Go and take a backseat until I do my taxes next year. And by the by, I was not happy with my tax return.

*.. I hate you star. Everytime I have to call someone I have to press the *.. like who the hell do you think you are? A star? I don't think so, I am the star of my blog, so push off.

&... I likes you. You always give the pleasure of saying "and" without having to type it out..I loves you.

$ sign.. You are right up there with percentage...I gots no use for you.

^ I like you, you are perky, and that is all.

() I like youse guys because you give virtual hugs.

@ I like you too because you don't me type it all out AND you just look so cute.

+ hmmmmm you got it going on...life always looks better when you are around.

- Go to hell

_ underscore... hmmm .. you are an evasive little bitch. I haven't figured you out yet. I don't trust you.

= Equal, is my friend, damit, I am a Libra and proud of it. I do a balancing act everyday.

! Oh how I love you explanion mark, you rock my world. I don't know how I would have ever blogged without you.

So that is why there is air...because I am full of hot bullshit air. I got enough for all of you.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Bummer

Blogger wanted you to know just how much my bum hurts, and posted the lame blog twice. Wow, you would have thought it was worth posting.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

My bum hurts

When I'm sitting in a chair. Methinks I have lost too much fat on my already bony ass!!

Speaking about weight loss, why does the weight loss NOT choose the area you want it to first? Try the midsection... y'know where the belly button meets your tits. I am perfectly happy with my non existent hips and skinny ass, JUST TAKE SOME OFF MY BELLY SO I CAN WEAR LOW RISE JEANS..OKAY?

I'm thinking, exercise might be the way to go to get all my parts looking ummm balanced. But, would that help me with the bum hurting? I don't think so. So, I have eliminated that thought off my list. I will put up with boneyasshurting, until I loose enough weight and if it still hurts I will get softer chairs. Or...buy some of those ass padders..Have you seen them? Nice little foamy crap you put on your arse area to make it look bigger!! I might even get me some of those what we used to call "falsies." My breasts are getting non existent. I see people on the street staring at me wondering what gender I am. Especially on the days I forget to remove my facial hair.

It's all about your personal image isn't it? Apparently I have been forgetting about that, judging from the 4 inch hairs jutting up from my winter leg collection. Gawd, it took so long to grow it, how can I live without it?..now that it's all soft and BLACK...

Did you know... that when you get older your leg hair doesn't get all hard and sharp anymore when you shave it...not mine anyway. I'm guessing, if you have shaved it enough over the years, and broken up all the follicles, and scared them. You win. And that my friends is the only thing you win, Trust me.

My bum hurts

When I'm sitting in a chair. Methinks I have lost too much fat on my already bony ass!!

Speaking about weight loss, why does the weight loss NOT choose the area you want it to first? Try the midsection... y'know where the belly button meets your tits. I am perfectly happy with my non existent hips and skinny ass, JUST TAKE SOME OFF MY BELLY SO I CAN WEAR LOW RISE JEANS..OKAY?

I'm thinking, exercise might be the way to go to get all my parts looking ummm balanced. But, would that help me with the bum hurting? I don't think so. So, I have eliminated that thought off my list. I will put up with boneyasshurting, until I loose enough weight and if it still hurts I will get softer chairs. Or...buy some of those ass padders..Have you seen them? Nice little foamy crap you put on your arse area to make it look bigger!! I might even get me some of those what we used to call "falsies." My breasts are getting non existent. I see people on the street staring at me wondering what gender I am. Especially on the days I forget to remove my facial hair.

It's all about your personal image isn't it? Apparently I have been forgetting about that, judging from the 4 inch hairs jutting up from my winter leg collection. Gawd, it took so long to grow it, how can I live without it?..now that it's all soft and BLACK...

Did you know... that when you get older your leg hair doesn't get all hard and sharp anymore when you shave it...not mine anyway. I'm guessing, if you have shaved it enough over the years, and broken up all the follicles, and scared them. You win. And that my friends is the only thing you win, Trust me.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Opps

What happened to my Sunday Blog? I know I used some really bad language, but what the hell??

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'm getting pissed

Looks like haloscan thinks I need to post more often, my comments disappeared. Haloscan I'm givin you the stink finger, see me?

Finally I have an evening where I am not chopping, stir frying, meat cleaving and making more work than food should have to be. I bought processed food..yikes..don't kill me it's only frozen chicken burgers, but someone else other than me made them, so it's gotta be good. ANYTHING will be good as long as I don't have to cook it. Why don't they have low fat, cholesterol and trans fat free KFC? Why? I am sure they have a marketing department at KFC that would realize if you kill off of dem ole folks .. it's over baby. The new generation is on to you KFC. But, if you think of it, if they take the skin off the chicken, and bread it with the special seasoning and leave out the salt, and then deep fry it in Canola oil..what's left? Nakid KFC. They will have to call it NKFC for ole farts. Opps NKFCFOF. Sounds impressive, I will order it now, as long as I don't have to fucking make IT.If I am sounding desperate ..so be it..I'm so tired.

I guess you know by know, I'm tired of cooking. Oh so tired. Oh so tired.

Tomorrow (Friday)our usual Friday pizza night).. I am ordering in "paper pizza." Paper is low in fat, but very high in fiber, I'm hoping they will have pepperoni graphics on the paper. Make that green pepper, onions, salami, beef, (no chicken) I can't even look a chicken in the beak anymore, never mind her breast. I need me some grease. Just a picture of grease would do me with cheese. Lots of cheese, high fat cheese...please. I will smear it all over my body.

In all my searches for new recipes, I found something we both like, SWEET POTATOES..yummers... we like em baked cut little cubes with a little piss drizzled on them. Just kidding, we don't like that, we would much rather have a little butter of them, but then we say to each other, ...would this be healthy?.. then we put the dishwater I have saved from the day before on them. Yum... and life goes on. Thank God.

See youse guys tomorrow. Our fav next door neighbours are having a hard time right now and need some balonie love. I will tell the story tomorrow.

Just a note...did you know Marie Osmond had 8 kids??? .. I got Larry King on in the background. They only showed her face, her vagina was probably dragging on the ground. Seriously, she looks great, and sounds like such a lovely person.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I have a disease which is called "low self esteem"...I know it sounds like a catch phrase, but I watched a thing on TV today, which totally opened my eyes. She, was so much like me. Always needing approval, bending over backwards doing for others and not getting any rewards. Always afraid to ask the boss for a raise, just in case he might say "you aren't good enough." The big ole fraidy cat. She was me.

Those days are gone my friends, I'm ready to kick some ass. I have the clothes, the closet to hang them in, plus my handbag to give me the confidence to move on up, as well as the knowledge that makes me keep kissing peoples asses. I'm tired of doing it, and I won't anymore. (you will be proud of me Andie). I not gonna take me no more shitz.

Gord will have to get used to the NEW balonie, I will not suck up to him anymore, asking about this and that. He can tell me, if he feels unwell without me asking..over and over, and if he doesn't like the meals I make... Go out and have yourself a big ole cheeseburger, and croak in the parking lot. It's up to you man. I can't stop you.

That shopping trip on Friday, changed my way of thinking. I actually felt good about myself. It's really bad when you thow your entire self into someone else and worry only about them, whether they care or not. He does care, but I have got so dang controlling, I think I have scared him half to death. (Don't ask me how many times I have made him go to the Doc these last two weeks.) The Doc says he fine, and once again, I have over reacted.

So, I'm not doing any of that shit again. I promise. I will be fine, and he will be finer, without me annoying the crap out of him everytime he make says tells me he is going to be doing some heavy work.

I'll let you guys know tommorow if I get that raise, that I so much deserve.

Friday, May 04, 2007

I bought me some new dud's

Youse guys have been telling me to do something for myself for awhile now. So, today I went shoppin!! I had a $100.00 dollar gift certificate for Marks Work Warehouse, given to me by our company for obeying the safety rules of the company for whole year. The guys all got jackets, but my boss thought it would be more befitting for me to shop for myself. Which I did. But the bonus was...I had another $10.00 coupon from Marks Work Warehouse, plus and 25% discount from another source with them. I was positively giddy today. Until I entered the store. I haven't been there for about two years, and most of it has been given up to more manly stuff. But, I did find the ladies section, and most everything seemed to be on sale!! Score. I'm thinking they are try to phase us women folk out, bastards!! We need work boots too if only to kick some ass!

Anywho, since I have lost some weight, I thought I would now be able to fit into stuff from a real store. And I did. Big time. I have not bought anything new for over three years, mostly because I am lazy, and hate shopping, plus I was fat. Which makes it depressing.

So...I bought a pair of LEE Jeans, my old fav., a ultra suede jacket(shirt) thing, and a new purse!! I only had an hour or so to do this, but I could have bought more, and I will, because I saved so much money, with my fricking coupons...I have 52.00 bucks left to go there again! ... to rearrange all their Jeans and shirts and tops and never put them back the same way I found them. I found a make work project for the sales clerk. She looked bored anyway.

I took pic's.....here we go.



This was my old Grandma purse. Can you see where I stapled the shoulder strap? I have no shame.




This is my new purse. It is not real leather, but classy none the less. It will carry a ton of crap. I know I will not be happy with it, because the straps are too short and keep falling off my shoulder, but dammit, I will live with it, because I am all about fashion.



Then it was time to unload all my worldly possessions from the ole grandma purse to the new handbag. This one is not a "purse"...it is A "handbag" people. After all I have an image to uphold, now that I'm getting back into the swing of things.

Rubber bands...you never know when you will need one
Wallet...which holds everything which is important in my life
Keys...I have no idea what they are for
Cell phone...would someone call me? It's never rang!
Address book.. my lifesaver
Another book.., which I have never used, but it has a pen attached which could be helpful.
Some change..some candy..and nicorite tabs, just in case of an emergency where I can't smoke and get antsy..and some Tylenol caps for the days when the body aches.
My back-up CD's from work which I stuff in it every Fryday, and other shit.



My new jeans...not MOM jeans..real jean size 12! And mid rise..not low, because I don't want my fat stomach to fall to my feet and ruin the effect.





This is my new ultra suede jacket!! It fits like a glove, and looks soo good with my new fucking jeans!!

Note: size 12.



Check out the savings. I have 52.00 more bucks to go.



I did a fashion show ..




So, tomorrow I'm off to spend the rest, and probably a lot more...because I'm gittin crazy in the head.

I didn't post any pic's of the Lincoln today, because it's been raining but, I just might do a photo op, on Sunday if the rain subsides.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Peggy Lee speaks to me this spring

One more day...and it's Fryday. So stick that in your beaker. Yeahhhh I'm feeling the spring fever. "YOU GIVE ME FEVER!" yeahhhhh

I got in the Lincoln this morning to go to work, and thought "I look hot", and all I need is my pimp in the back seat to get me to my gig. My Pimp wouldn't be allowed to drive however, because I'm all up with the control thing. I will have to take a picture of the car..and moi, so you will understand why I think prostitution should have been my calling. "FEVER"!!

I will do that tomorrow, because tomorrow is Fryday, a day when I get the fever, and I'll be sizzlin..and what a lovely way to burn...

FEVER...heh...I'm not going to quit this.

FEVER!!