Dear Jane,
How are you? I am fine.
Do you have a dog and did it die? I have one too, and it got very sick and died.
How do you like grade 4? I like it too, if you do.
How are your mom and dad and your brother who looks like a monkey? I liked your brother too, if you do. Wasn't it neat last summer when he fell out of that tree!!
Thank you for reading my letter. Please write back to me.
Sincerely,
Joan
Damn it's hard not to make it all about yourself!! Hence my invisible "I"
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We had our weekly Attitude Adjustment hour last night, and my hippy dippy girl friend went missing. She and a friend (apparently I am not her only one) were taking in a movie last night. When she called me and told me she wouldn't be coming over, I asked what movie she was going to be seeing. She said she didn't know the name of it, but it was about two gay cowboys! So, I says to her...will there be any lasso'ing happening then, she says, quick as lightning..."not unless something comes up". Hardee HARRR.. Oh my!! No wonder we like each other so very much.
Last night was special for another reason, WE HAVE A DVD PLAYER! My BIL gave it to Gord for Christmas, and they hooked the little devil up. Great now, I have one more light flashing on top of the TV. It was actually a no brainer. Much easier than the world's most complicated VCR we had. But, again, now we have 45 remote controls to loose. I watched a movie last night that came with the DVD player, and it was pretty good. I managed to switch it off and everything without phoning tech support.
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Okay, This might start to get boring, but that has never stopped me before. On Saturday, I had to start training Ben and Ginger. Things were getting out of hand and they needed to know how to live in our house without us having to babysit the little suckers. I started on an intensive training course Saturday morning. I was up at 11:00 o'clock sharp. I lined them up and said "yee with the straw in yer bellies", need to grow up and start to get a little more independent. No more "I'm sorry I pissed on the floor, and no more, "I'm hungry shit." I drew up a plan, talked with a stern voice, and marched them out into the WORLD.
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Breakfast, the most important meal to start your day!! They did very well, Ben was somewhat hesitant, but Ginger dug right in... That's my girl!
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See, how Ben let's you know when he has to go pee!! He is the moose of my dreams.
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And look at this, I taught him how to drive! Ginger never leaves his side, she is so proud of him and gives him direction as a good mate should do. No more looking for designated drivers for me, when I have a snout full, Ben will me my man or me moose as ever the case may be!!
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Yet, another breakthrough...Ben learned to manage the multitude of stairs in our home. His ungainly legs being a big problem, almost had me sending him to "leg school", but after some motivation by Penny, he managed his way up the stairs.
So, life is pretty idyllic here in my winterpeg. However, an incident may have taken place this afternoon, when Gord decided our Christmas tree should be taken from the doorstep to a place where they shred them up. As usual, we have 2 minute conversations, when he goes out to his truck, and comes back in with a bad idea. He said I'm taking the tree to the "place", I can't remember the name of it, and will dump if off there. I said "tie a bungie cord around it so it won't fall off the roof." He says, "well, how can it fall off the roof"?, hmmmm maybe if you drive more than 5 miles an hour? dumbass... The last I seen of him today was with the Christmas tree perched precariously on top of the Bronco...waving back and forth. I watched him go down the street, I didn't want to see what happened when he turned the corner. I am positive if must of fell off at some point. So, with his advise today, I have melted my keyboard, and I am positive that tree fell off the top of his truck somewhere between here and the shredder place. But, this is just another day of my boring life...........
Nevermind...he just came home and is chipping ice off our steps...someone is going to get hurt. I guarantee it.
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