Canada Day thoughts.

We have laid "Canada Day" to rest for this year. Too many hyped up people dressed in red and white annoying the crap out of me. Yes, Canada I love you, but stop with the phoney balonie shit. Don't be trying to be all American. Those guys really love their country, but in a different way than we do. We just aren't the flag waving kinda people. We are more subdued, and don't feel the need to meet with all our neighbours and friends on July 1st. Our government is slowly trying to change that, and put up a huge show in Ottawa, our nations capitol. I watched some of it on TV yesterday...and saw reporters that I respected on a on going basis, turn into 'crack loving' Canada Day whores.

The whole camera crew were on crack..I swear.

The reporters were screaching like banchies.....interviewing little kids, who had their face painted...(let's get one thing straight...face painting is old, and STOP IT). These face painted kids were painting (again with the painting) huge concrete slabs with there Canada Day thoughts. Okay, it could have be chalk, I don't know, but ahhhhhh. I just deflated after that. Most of them scribbled Cnada. And tried to draw a flag. Then they were all interviewed, that was interesting... and each and every kid said his favorite part about Canada Day was the fireworks. So, okay. That is about 8 hours away...what are you going to be doing until then? Paint houses? Piss your pants...Run through lame sprinklers, fight with your brothers? Probably fall asleep way before they begin ... and cry all the way home.

I say, for the sake of all the children in the world, have the fireworks at 3:00 PM. They don't really care by this time... they are tired, full of sugar and snot, and give em a few loud bangs and call it a day. So what if they can't see them, kid's have imaginations. Not like us old folks. If you ask them, did you just see that big star? ... the kid will say...yesssssssss because it made a noise. Problem solved.

Go home and put the little rascals to bed. Then get a babysitter and watch them in peace.

I sort of got side tracked, didn't I.? I could be so full of shit...nevermind.

Even though we don't ooze patriotizm in Canada....we get really pissed, when people mention we prononce our words differently than the Americans do. WE DO NOT SAY ABOOT INSTEAD OF ABOUT. I don't know where that fairy tale ever came aboot, oop's I meant about. heh.. But I really don't know...I pronouce it A...Bout.. like a bout of boxing...not a fricking boot!

I'm so looking forward to all your July 4th. celebrations...with food, family and fireworks. It's a tradition, and it's yours...wave your flags, eat corn dogs, watermelon, steak, burgers and hot dogs... whatever floats yer boat. Keep the kiddo's up until 10:00 for fireworks, BUT...if you paint their faces ...I will find you.

Every kid in Canada seems to get their face painted on a daily basis, and I'm afraid for them when they grow up. If we ever go to war...who the hell will take us seriously?