I went to 20 (count them) 20 show homes and damn near got trampled by assholes that were kicking tires.. okay I was kicking them a little bit too, but at least I have a reason. If I like a home, I may get the builder to build mine. Most of them were looking for decorating ideas for their reno's. Well fart.And they took their kids with them. There was sign up in each home that said..Children must the accompanied by a parent..in hand. That...did not happen. Those frickin rug rats were sitting in closests, in bathtubs, and one was even trying to get into a fridge. Oy.

Anyway, it was hard. I was disapointed...because they didn't look like homes. Some looked like warehouses, minimalistic style and grey..others were cheap looking, and most of them said the same thing....BORING. Let's beige and brown you to death...and make it look cold and uninviting as possible. I love beige's and browns and they can be very warm and comforting if used properly..especially with rust, green etc. but the was a shit show I tell ya.And every home was about 2 inches from the other. You could spit in the next door neighbours window if he had it open. But that wasn't my problem, we already have the land, but I can't understand why anyone would buy these homes. I was flabergasted. No character at all.

I walked in the cold all afternoon with my poor foot that is giving me some grief. I limped along for most of the day. I have to mention that all these houses are split levels (like the one I am trying to flee from) apparently it has come back into style. Only because if you build UP...it's cheaper. Plus your lot size in these communities are the size of an ant hill. That didn't happen in the house we live in now, because we have a huge lot but I guess it was the style in the 80's. And I thought it was cute when I was 40 and stupid. Okay? so shut up.

Okay, what I am trying to say in a long round about way, is that I fell down the stairs in one of these humongous homes. In front of a lot on monkey's.They make you take off your shoes when you enter. Hey, I'm all for that. I had my slip on sandals on...with socks because I knew I would have to take off my shoes. I must have climbed 3,567 sets of stairs this afternoon because hey ...it's cheaper building up. OMG these houses are tall, and in every level is another set of stairs. And in some, you can go around and they have another set of stairs going back down to the same level, but at different locations in the house. It's stairy I tell you!

By house number 10 I was getting a little weary and my foot was hurting. And as I was going down a set of stairs to the landing of a house I tripped and started to fall...I grabbed on to the wall because there was no railing..then started my descent. When an angel appeared at the bottom of the staircase and grabbed me before I fell on my big fat face. She was a real angel. I thanked her so much, because I think I would have broken my leg if she wouldn't have been there to break my fall.I think all of this happened because I was not being honest. I was trying to take pic's of the interior of the homes, when the sign said I should NOT. A rule in some houses, and not in others...so I just took the flash off my camera...and clicked away when the Realtor wasn't looking. BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ASSHOLES WHO DO NOT OBEY THE LAW.

Their asses get kicked down a flight of stairs. That's what.

But I don't think I have learned my lesson...because I'm going to do it again, only this time I will look for the Realtor first (and usually he is in the Show Home office eating donuts) and then snap away.

This is the pic I took by accident while I was trying to hide my camera as I was falling down a set of stairs.. I am such a fuckhead.

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