You know, I'm not giving this blog as much as attention as I should be. I'm in a slump. And I apologize for not giving it my all. But my vague attempts at humour these days are very weak, and not coming from my heart. And it shows.
I still read all of the blogs listed on my sidebar and many more every day, but my spirit is so low somedays I don't even leave comments when I should.
Since Gord had his H.A. heh...I almost said it, I have been busting my ass after work making sure the meals we eat for supper and preparing for the next day at lunch are "heart friendly"...and it is sucking the life blood out of me. I am in the stores reading labels like ass ...and reading web sites for heart smart recipes, I am totally out of control. I have to lighten up. I can't take this anymore. I am tired, and I am starting to look old.
Hippychick was over on Saturday, and asked me if I had lost weight. I was thrilled, someone had finally noticed, until she said, she could see my jowls were getting flabby looking. I should smile more, then you couldn't see it. Obviously tact is not one of her strong traits. And never was!! (Janis, it's okay, I took it with a grain of salt and a glass of wine).
So, I will be scaling down, and I will miss writing every other day or so, but unless I give my blog my best effort I see it is pointless to subject you to meaningless crap. (with spelling mistakes) Oh, I forgot, most of it was meaningless, but what I meant .. was more meaningless, pointless stuff. oops, most of it was pointless too, okay...you know what I mean. I mixing myself up.
We will put balonie to bed for awhile. After all she was my alter ego, and now she has seemed to disappear. Life hands you lemons sometimes and you have to wait for the sweeter stuff to reappear.
Hopefully, I can get my act together. With work and all I just feel drained.
So, I will try to get a blog out once a week or so and make it worth your while to tune in. I just can't keep up the pace.
Love Joan & ms.balonie.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Taxes..kiss my royal canadian arse
I am finished with the taxes!!! I took Friday off to do the last of it, and just ripped off a Profit and Loss statement an hour ago for the accountant. I hope my nose does not continue to grow, because by the time I give it to him, I may not be able to get into the door. I did not embellish, I have receipts for everything, if buying $50,000.00 dollars worth of lawn seed counts. Well, we do have lawns to maintain in front of our properties. My nose, now has grown so long it is impeding my fingers from typing an longer. Okay, so...I might have to make an adjustment to the P&L just so I can eat supper tonight without my long lying nose poking around in my plate. Nothing worse than a nostril in your salad.
Anyway, I am so glad to be rid of that crap. But do you think 20,000.00 dollars a year is unrealistic for parking fees? Okay, back to the P&L. heh
Then I turned into a man, who was about to say ..."just fuck it already." I know how the tax man grabbeth. I have a very hairy face. Hormones..too much chicken.
I'm still loosing weight, I hit 148 lbs. this morning!!! Yahoo. Usually I can do a pound a week, but this one took me two weeks. I only weigh myself on Sunday mornings, just so I don't get disappointed during the week by doing it too often. It's a good thing I didn't throw out all the clothes I had before. I threw out crap stuff, but not the stuff I really loved. And they all have a hood, except my pants that is! Yesterday I wore a hoodie velour top (my very fav) that I have not got into since 2002. In 2002 I tore a stomach muscle, and wasn't able to do anything other than get from point A to point B, and it bothered me for years. So, I became very couch potatoish because I didn't want it to flair up again. Thus the weight gain. But, the fatter I got, more pressure was sitting on my tummy and always made me feel uncomfortable. So, I always wore a support around my stomach. As of two weeks ago, I threw it out. Once most of the flab was gone, I didn't have the feeling that it would come back to haunt me. I think I just used it as a crutch for the longest of time, because that was the closest I ever got to not being able to do anything, and I was scared.
I never figured out how I tore the stomach muscle, but I think I know now. I have not ever been particularily active, and I had been gaining some weight around then.
That morning, I put on a freshly washed pair a jeans that felt very tight. I could hardly do them up. So, I sucked it up, and got the zipper closed...and proceeded to to go down and do knee bends to get the jeans to relax a bit in the tummy area. I think I did about ten of them, and by the time I got to work, I could feel that something was wrong. And that my friends gave me years of grief. Something blew. As long as I was sitting or sleeping I was fine, but walking was terrible. It didn't really hurt, but it pulled and pulled and I was so uncomfortable that I had to sit down every few minutes. I even had a cleaning lady come in because I couldn't stand long enough to do the cleaning. I tried to fake it after I felt better, but Gord caught on..!!
I was going to take pic's today of Penny and the "back 40", but it looks so gross right now, with all the broken branches, and ugly shit I thought I would leave it for a better time.
I took up my little (spring time patio table) so we could sit around that until we bring out the big guy. It's too early, today was the first day you could really go out without a parka. The neighbours were all out there doing their barbeques, and it smelled heavenly. So, it feels like we are back to normal.
Sunday night supper:
A very large chicken, filled with hormones (I need that now since I am loosing weight and my tits are getting smaller).
Wild Rice Medley
Steamed beans, carrots, and broccoli with a dill and lemon sauce.
Now, youse guys have a good day y'hear. Balonie was here a minute ago, but I stompted her stinking little head into the the plastic carpet protecter under my desk. I'm hoping those little picky things will poke some sense into her head, because she was ready to rumble.
Anyway, I am so glad to be rid of that crap. But do you think 20,000.00 dollars a year is unrealistic for parking fees? Okay, back to the P&L. heh
Then I turned into a man, who was about to say ..."just fuck it already." I know how the tax man grabbeth. I have a very hairy face. Hormones..too much chicken.
I'm still loosing weight, I hit 148 lbs. this morning!!! Yahoo. Usually I can do a pound a week, but this one took me two weeks. I only weigh myself on Sunday mornings, just so I don't get disappointed during the week by doing it too often. It's a good thing I didn't throw out all the clothes I had before. I threw out crap stuff, but not the stuff I really loved. And they all have a hood, except my pants that is! Yesterday I wore a hoodie velour top (my very fav) that I have not got into since 2002. In 2002 I tore a stomach muscle, and wasn't able to do anything other than get from point A to point B, and it bothered me for years. So, I became very couch potatoish because I didn't want it to flair up again. Thus the weight gain. But, the fatter I got, more pressure was sitting on my tummy and always made me feel uncomfortable. So, I always wore a support around my stomach. As of two weeks ago, I threw it out. Once most of the flab was gone, I didn't have the feeling that it would come back to haunt me. I think I just used it as a crutch for the longest of time, because that was the closest I ever got to not being able to do anything, and I was scared.
I never figured out how I tore the stomach muscle, but I think I know now. I have not ever been particularily active, and I had been gaining some weight around then.
That morning, I put on a freshly washed pair a jeans that felt very tight. I could hardly do them up. So, I sucked it up, and got the zipper closed...and proceeded to to go down and do knee bends to get the jeans to relax a bit in the tummy area. I think I did about ten of them, and by the time I got to work, I could feel that something was wrong. And that my friends gave me years of grief. Something blew. As long as I was sitting or sleeping I was fine, but walking was terrible. It didn't really hurt, but it pulled and pulled and I was so uncomfortable that I had to sit down every few minutes. I even had a cleaning lady come in because I couldn't stand long enough to do the cleaning. I tried to fake it after I felt better, but Gord caught on..!!
I was going to take pic's today of Penny and the "back 40", but it looks so gross right now, with all the broken branches, and ugly shit I thought I would leave it for a better time.
I took up my little (spring time patio table) so we could sit around that until we bring out the big guy. It's too early, today was the first day you could really go out without a parka. The neighbours were all out there doing their barbeques, and it smelled heavenly. So, it feels like we are back to normal.
Sunday night supper:
A very large chicken, filled with hormones (I need that now since I am loosing weight and my tits are getting smaller).
Wild Rice Medley
Steamed beans, carrots, and broccoli with a dill and lemon sauce.
Now, youse guys have a good day y'hear. Balonie was here a minute ago, but I stompted her stinking little head into the the plastic carpet protecter under my desk. I'm hoping those little picky things will poke some sense into her head, because she was ready to rumble.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
A moment I have to share
I made a trip to the washroom at work today after all the electricians left this morning to electrocute themselves or one of our clients.
As an aside, I bought two huge cases of toliet paper for the washroom, that sit right in front of the toliet in the stall. It is clearly marked "toliet paper." Normally I have a 12 pack of toliet paper in it's plastic casing sitting on the floor for their conveience. But, I changed the rules, and thought they could figure it out that once the old toliet paper, in it's old plastic casing had run out, they could just help themselves to those in the big box. Apparently not.
When I entered the stall, I looked down into the toliet, and found that someone had not flushed down a pile of poo. Nor had someone used toliet paper. It was all feces. Someone, could not figure out how to take a roll of toliet paper out of a box (clearly marked ASSWIPE) and decided to wear in his shorts. Now, would I want to be this guys partner for the day in the electrican world?
Nay, Nay I say, someone had a dirty ass today
I don't want to be with him on the jobsite today..hey hey
Sing with me, it's now the official Electricians song!!
Can you imagine him at home?? If his wife doesn't put toliet paper on the roll, he will just squeeze it out and hope for the best? It's pathetic.
Maybe he took a dump right here? I'm getting jaded.
As an aside, I bought two huge cases of toliet paper for the washroom, that sit right in front of the toliet in the stall. It is clearly marked "toliet paper." Normally I have a 12 pack of toliet paper in it's plastic casing sitting on the floor for their conveience. But, I changed the rules, and thought they could figure it out that once the old toliet paper, in it's old plastic casing had run out, they could just help themselves to those in the big box. Apparently not.
When I entered the stall, I looked down into the toliet, and found that someone had not flushed down a pile of poo. Nor had someone used toliet paper. It was all feces. Someone, could not figure out how to take a roll of toliet paper out of a box (clearly marked ASSWIPE) and decided to wear in his shorts. Now, would I want to be this guys partner for the day in the electrican world?
Nay, Nay I say, someone had a dirty ass today
I don't want to be with him on the jobsite today..hey hey
Sing with me, it's now the official Electricians song!!
Can you imagine him at home?? If his wife doesn't put toliet paper on the roll, he will just squeeze it out and hope for the best? It's pathetic.
Maybe he took a dump right here? I'm getting jaded.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Tech Talk
We got a new laser combination/ colour printer/copier/fax machine/scanner/scans to email, at work last week. State of the art. It's brand new, which is something in our office, because we usually get the left overs from our head office. I have named her "Wannabee." We had an old "all in one" HP Ink Jet which ground out faxes at such a slow rate, I had to take a nap at least 30 times a day. She printed off wonderful colour print outs for our brochures etc. but sometimes her head hurt, and I had give her a Tylenol. So we put her out of her misery, and she is now sitting on death row in the warehouse. Our old "huge" photo copier (the boy) which must be 987 years old "fortheloveoftechnology", still sits on the office floor silently, taking up an enormous amount of room, but he has not met his maker just yet, because he can still make bigger copies than "Wannabee. So, the old meets the new.
I think they fight at night. Serious!..and the old HP in the warehouse gets her shots in too!
Today, when I got to work there was a automated message on her screen "Phone Service," "I have been violated" . I looked over at "the boy," and he looked very innocent. I checked the HP in the warehouse, and she looked very despondent. I started to press "Wannabees" buttons to reset her message. She responded by saying she had a piece of paper jammed up her ass! Well, fortheloveofpete, how did that get up there? I gave the "Mister" another dirty look and he started to cry, and said he didn't do nothing. Then I went back to the warehouse to see the HP but she dead as a doornail, so who was lying to me?
I opened up Wannabee's em..doors, and did a visual. I am used to opening up "Mister," because I know all his parts, but Wannabee's were totally different. Mister had more manly stuff, and with a little effort I could get him back in action, but with ms.Wannabee, I could not take that paper off her ass. She held it tight. Now, it was me against the machine!!! My heart was racing, because it was 4:30 and I wanted to get the hell out of there. I managed to get half a sheet of paper out of her. So, I said, if you want a tug of war, it's on you bitch!! And, then I ripped the paper apart, and half was still in her belly, and half of it was in my hand.....and the monitor was beeping and telling me PHONE SERVICE YOU ASSHOLE!!
Okay, then, I did. gawwd. The tech told me how to take out the laser cartridge and look below to see if I could see the bottom of the tray and dislodge the offending crap! I found it. Dislodged it. It was quarter to 5:00 and I was pissed off, so I slammed her parts down. She must have got the message, because her message after that was "please continue" and then displayed the normal message. sigh... Who the hell is running this world? I wanted to take a piece out of her so bad. But, I can scan anything I want to email in PDF file...how lucky am I?
So, I guess I'm her bitch.
But, I will be watching her, and if she is screwing with the "Mister," who is still my old friend, I'll get her!!
I think they fight at night. Serious!..and the old HP in the warehouse gets her shots in too!
Today, when I got to work there was a automated message on her screen "Phone Service," "I have been violated" . I looked over at "the boy," and he looked very innocent. I checked the HP in the warehouse, and she looked very despondent. I started to press "Wannabees" buttons to reset her message. She responded by saying she had a piece of paper jammed up her ass! Well, fortheloveofpete, how did that get up there? I gave the "Mister" another dirty look and he started to cry, and said he didn't do nothing. Then I went back to the warehouse to see the HP but she dead as a doornail, so who was lying to me?
I opened up Wannabee's em..doors, and did a visual. I am used to opening up "Mister," because I know all his parts, but Wannabee's were totally different. Mister had more manly stuff, and with a little effort I could get him back in action, but with ms.Wannabee, I could not take that paper off her ass. She held it tight. Now, it was me against the machine!!! My heart was racing, because it was 4:30 and I wanted to get the hell out of there. I managed to get half a sheet of paper out of her. So, I said, if you want a tug of war, it's on you bitch!! And, then I ripped the paper apart, and half was still in her belly, and half of it was in my hand.....and the monitor was beeping and telling me PHONE SERVICE YOU ASSHOLE!!
Okay, then, I did. gawwd. The tech told me how to take out the laser cartridge and look below to see if I could see the bottom of the tray and dislodge the offending crap! I found it. Dislodged it. It was quarter to 5:00 and I was pissed off, so I slammed her parts down. She must have got the message, because her message after that was "please continue" and then displayed the normal message. sigh... Who the hell is running this world? I wanted to take a piece out of her so bad. But, I can scan anything I want to email in PDF file...how lucky am I?
So, I guess I'm her bitch.
But, I will be watching her, and if she is screwing with the "Mister," who is still my old friend, I'll get her!!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
long time no see amigos
I have started 8976 blogs this week and not finished a one. I spent the whole long weekend doing our taxes creatively. Why should I bore them with the same ole every year, why not make it interesting? Our expenses exceeded our sales by such a huge margin this year it even scared me. I guess I should stop expensing dog food and wine. However, they are work related, the dog watches me do the bookwork, while I drink the wine. Makes sense to me. I was so engrossed in my pile of papers today I forgot to do the laundry. I'll be looking at that same pair of panties I wore today when I go to work tomorrow. Perhaps, I should just by-pass them all together and do a Britney Spears. I don't think anyone at the office would notice I wasn't wearing underpants through my MOM jeans. Unless those young whippersnappers have been eyeing my pantylines. Could happen, some of them look pretty desperate.
Not to much going on around here that is interesting. OHHHH, I forgot the basement quit flooding, if that is interesting. It sure is a relief. Now we have to figure out a way to fix it. I say, patch it up, put a slab of paneling on the wall where we tore it off and sell the house to the next unsuspecting home owner. I have no conscious. I give a hairy rats ass at this point. Too much shit slamming me in the head at one time. But, I hope they like the lovely blue carpet down there, along with my Elvis Velvet Art paintings. Our whole house is so 80's it's a crime, A CRIME I SAY! .. and I don't have ANY time to fix it up. It's not really in a whole pile of disrepair, but what is...bugs the shit out of me.
A funny thing happened in our bathroom Saturday morning: heh
Gord will kill me if he reads this..heh heh once more.
We got up late, and because we were both too lazy to go to separate bathrooms (one is downstairs) we chose to cohabitate the upstairs one. He was doing his business and reading the newspaper on the shitter, and I was brushing my teeth at the sink. I had already had my shower.
I was just minding my business and brushing away at my teeth, when I noticed he flushed the toilet while sitting on it, kindly taking the fumes to another level. And he proceeded to keep on reading the paper.......... until he jumped up off the toilet like a jack rabbit! My first reaction was he must have got bitten by an alligator! After he flushed, and while he was sitting there, the toilet must have started to overflow, and when the water reached his dangling participles he shot up like someone had lit a firecracker under his arse!!! I laughed my friggin ass off!! Good thing he caught the shut off valve soon enough or we would have had a pile of crap to clean up!! Lord, that was funny.
The reason the toilet overflowed was the night before he had bad allergies, and was sneezing all the time, so he took all his kleenex's from the bedroom and put them in the toilet BEFORE he sat down and when it came time to flush...it was just too much pressure and pushed it up to his ass. HAAA ha. I never saw anyone jump up that fast. I am glad he didn't have another incident!!haaa I'm still laughing. Nakid guy..jumping off a toilet..harrrrr..
Sunday night supper..yeah you guessed it POT. Opps I meant Pot roast, with cawwots, (the easter bunny factor) beans (to git the gasses out) and taters. I'm too tired to get creative. Home cooked, low fat, what more can I do. This balonie is a tuckered out. Over and out of your face:)
Not to much going on around here that is interesting. OHHHH, I forgot the basement quit flooding, if that is interesting. It sure is a relief. Now we have to figure out a way to fix it. I say, patch it up, put a slab of paneling on the wall where we tore it off and sell the house to the next unsuspecting home owner. I have no conscious. I give a hairy rats ass at this point. Too much shit slamming me in the head at one time. But, I hope they like the lovely blue carpet down there, along with my Elvis Velvet Art paintings. Our whole house is so 80's it's a crime, A CRIME I SAY! .. and I don't have ANY time to fix it up. It's not really in a whole pile of disrepair, but what is...bugs the shit out of me.
A funny thing happened in our bathroom Saturday morning: heh
Gord will kill me if he reads this..heh heh once more.
We got up late, and because we were both too lazy to go to separate bathrooms (one is downstairs) we chose to cohabitate the upstairs one. He was doing his business and reading the newspaper on the shitter, and I was brushing my teeth at the sink. I had already had my shower.
I was just minding my business and brushing away at my teeth, when I noticed he flushed the toilet while sitting on it, kindly taking the fumes to another level. And he proceeded to keep on reading the paper.......... until he jumped up off the toilet like a jack rabbit! My first reaction was he must have got bitten by an alligator! After he flushed, and while he was sitting there, the toilet must have started to overflow, and when the water reached his dangling participles he shot up like someone had lit a firecracker under his arse!!! I laughed my friggin ass off!! Good thing he caught the shut off valve soon enough or we would have had a pile of crap to clean up!! Lord, that was funny.
The reason the toilet overflowed was the night before he had bad allergies, and was sneezing all the time, so he took all his kleenex's from the bedroom and put them in the toilet BEFORE he sat down and when it came time to flush...it was just too much pressure and pushed it up to his ass. HAAA ha. I never saw anyone jump up that fast. I am glad he didn't have another incident!!haaa I'm still laughing. Nakid guy..jumping off a toilet..harrrrr..
Sunday night supper..yeah you guessed it POT. Opps I meant Pot roast, with cawwots, (the easter bunny factor) beans (to git the gasses out) and taters. I'm too tired to get creative. Home cooked, low fat, what more can I do. This balonie is a tuckered out. Over and out of your face:)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Same shit
You know, the Health Care System and Doctor's, suck big balls!!! Balls way bigger than one could possibly suck. You would need a gymoungous? pie hole.
If you are a Newbie to it, it even sucks further. Gord had his INCIDENT in the last week of February, and after he left the hospital he was to see his own doctor 5 days later. Appointment was duly made, and he attended it. Docf*up informed him, that the only info he had from the hospital was his stress test, nothing else. Then Docf*up said, he would have to come back in three weeks, as he was going on holidays.......gahhhhhhhhhhh... "just take your med's he said." This is the guy Gord went for help at Christmas time when he felt like shit. He went through a battery of tests, and then we never were called back with any results.
Apparently, there must have been something wrong then already.
Today Gord had the follow up appointment after Docf*up got back from holidays. Guess what, the hospital had still not sent him the reports. Either he has a poor filing system, or the hospital sucks.
Gord needs some closure to this, and have his Doctor either increase, decrease, elimate some of the med's. OR...holy moly, let's not get crazy here, but refer him to a Cardiologist. We are talking over a month here now people, without anything but what we were told at the hospital. His med's seem to be working fine, but he is having weird dreams from one of the beta blockers. (which he was told at the hospital). But I could tell today he was very disappointed he was not able to express his fears and questions to someone that knows what he is going through. Docf*up said he would contact the hospital immediately to get his records.
He needs someone to explain the entire situation to him, so he can move on. He is feeling really great, but as he told me today, he worries about every little pain or whatever near his chest. And that is normal. I know. So, once the doc gets all the stuff, we are still on a holding pattern.
If you are a Newbie to it, it even sucks further. Gord had his INCIDENT in the last week of February, and after he left the hospital he was to see his own doctor 5 days later. Appointment was duly made, and he attended it. Docf*up informed him, that the only info he had from the hospital was his stress test, nothing else. Then Docf*up said, he would have to come back in three weeks, as he was going on holidays.......gahhhhhhhhhhh... "just take your med's he said." This is the guy Gord went for help at Christmas time when he felt like shit. He went through a battery of tests, and then we never were called back with any results.
Apparently, there must have been something wrong then already.
Today Gord had the follow up appointment after Docf*up got back from holidays. Guess what, the hospital had still not sent him the reports. Either he has a poor filing system, or the hospital sucks.
Gord needs some closure to this, and have his Doctor either increase, decrease, elimate some of the med's. OR...holy moly, let's not get crazy here, but refer him to a Cardiologist. We are talking over a month here now people, without anything but what we were told at the hospital. His med's seem to be working fine, but he is having weird dreams from one of the beta blockers. (which he was told at the hospital). But I could tell today he was very disappointed he was not able to express his fears and questions to someone that knows what he is going through. Docf*up said he would contact the hospital immediately to get his records.
He needs someone to explain the entire situation to him, so he can move on. He is feeling really great, but as he told me today, he worries about every little pain or whatever near his chest. And that is normal. I know. So, once the doc gets all the stuff, we are still on a holding pattern.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I am all tuckered out, another day of bookkeeping for taxes, schmaxes. I hate you revenue canada! I didn't capitolize you, because you are not worth it. In fact, I am very tempted to add $2.99 to our expenses for the six pack of coke I picked up to get through this ordeal. I only had one. But, I needed a jolt and I don't like coffee. Maybe I should charge them for the wine I'm having tonight to calm down.
I've almost got it all done. Next weekend is a long weekend and I can finish it up, take it the accountant and pray.
We are still having "leakage" in the basement. Gord took the whole wall down today. Not good news...its cracked right from top to the bottom. So, we will have to get someone here to do it right. It's been three years of this already, so who needs this stress every spring. Forntuntaley we have enough "glop" in the bigger cracks to hold it together until spring run off subsides. But, we still have to clean up about twice a day. By the end of the week the ground will be warm enough to start letting the snow and water to drain into the the soil and not build up around the foundation. One more expense.........lardy.........love a duck! I will never be able to retire at this rate.
I bet you can't believe how much weight I have lost this past month with our new and improved dietary rules...guess? wrong!! lower!
I started at 156, and this morning (I only weigh in on Sunday mornings)149!! Gord is doing about the same. I'm really liking the new way we are eating. Not that we ate too crappy before, but I was letting shit slide when we were both obviously overweight. I feel really good. And all my jeans are falling off of me. Maybe I won't have to wear "mom jeans" anymore..I'd like me a pair of boot cut Levis, like I used to wear. Mean and lean. Of course they won't be low cut, because I will forever have some belly fat. God gave me that little fat bulge, so I wouldn't get too into myself, and make porno movies. Balonie would be all over that, so I have to stay fat enough so she doesn't embarrass me.
Talking about food, we had the best supper last night. Gord loves hamburgers, so I thought he should have a treat. I bought a pound of bison burger yesterday. It is lean and had been accredited by the heart and stroke association. I grilled it on the barbeque with a dab or two of Tony Roma's BQ sauce on a whole wheat bun along with onions and a bean salad. It really hit the spot. We had no fat no sugar ice-cream for dessert and went to bed very satisfied. So, it can be done. It just takes a little time to get it all in place.
Sunday night supper:
Pork Loin Roast
Sweet and Sour Rice Medley (my own version)
Broccoli, Cauliflower and carrots sprinkled with low fat cheese. And lots of no salt seasonings...which all taste very good!!
I'm starting to like this no salt and sugar diet.
I've almost got it all done. Next weekend is a long weekend and I can finish it up, take it the accountant and pray.
We are still having "leakage" in the basement. Gord took the whole wall down today. Not good news...its cracked right from top to the bottom. So, we will have to get someone here to do it right. It's been three years of this already, so who needs this stress every spring. Forntuntaley we have enough "glop" in the bigger cracks to hold it together until spring run off subsides. But, we still have to clean up about twice a day. By the end of the week the ground will be warm enough to start letting the snow and water to drain into the the soil and not build up around the foundation. One more expense.........lardy.........love a duck! I will never be able to retire at this rate.
I bet you can't believe how much weight I have lost this past month with our new and improved dietary rules...guess? wrong!! lower!
I started at 156, and this morning (I only weigh in on Sunday mornings)149!! Gord is doing about the same. I'm really liking the new way we are eating. Not that we ate too crappy before, but I was letting shit slide when we were both obviously overweight. I feel really good. And all my jeans are falling off of me. Maybe I won't have to wear "mom jeans" anymore..I'd like me a pair of boot cut Levis, like I used to wear. Mean and lean. Of course they won't be low cut, because I will forever have some belly fat. God gave me that little fat bulge, so I wouldn't get too into myself, and make porno movies. Balonie would be all over that, so I have to stay fat enough so she doesn't embarrass me.
Talking about food, we had the best supper last night. Gord loves hamburgers, so I thought he should have a treat. I bought a pound of bison burger yesterday. It is lean and had been accredited by the heart and stroke association. I grilled it on the barbeque with a dab or two of Tony Roma's BQ sauce on a whole wheat bun along with onions and a bean salad. It really hit the spot. We had no fat no sugar ice-cream for dessert and went to bed very satisfied. So, it can be done. It just takes a little time to get it all in place.
Sunday night supper:
Pork Loin Roast
Sweet and Sour Rice Medley (my own version)
Broccoli, Cauliflower and carrots sprinkled with low fat cheese. And lots of no salt seasonings...which all taste very good!!
I'm starting to like this no salt and sugar diet.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Stonkings
When I was a wee ornery kid of perhaps six years old, I could not pronounce stockings. I always said, "stonkings." Stockings were a very important part of my life in those days, because you had to wear them in winter to keep warm. I can't remember how I kept them up, but it probably involved some jar rings we used for canning. I'm surprised we didn't cut off our circulation and croaked!
I was thinking about that today for no apparent reason. Once I remembered that, I was on a roll. I remember what a hoot my mom got out of me calling them "stonkings." Apparently, I was her cutest and funniest first child. I remember going to grandma and grandpa's house with all the aunties and uncles, cousins and cats, and mom would ask me to say "stockings." And, when I would say "stonkings" they laughed so hard, I thought I might send in my resume to Saturday Night Live. Opps, that might be a lie, because at that time all we could get on TV was Wrestling, The Lone Ranger and Ed Sullivan, and now that I think of it..when I was that age there was no TV. Just books and your imagination.
Back to the Stonkings. I love skating. Our town was going to have a carnival at my skating rink, and we were all supposed to dress up in a costume and skate around and the person with the best skating and costume would win a bag of peanuts, or something just as grand.
My mom made me a "Little Bow Peep Costume"... She took a pair of old my stonkings. And cut them up in long strips of three and made braids out of them and put sewed them into a cap. I had braids down to my ass. I don't think I have ever been so excited in my life. I always wanted to have braids, but she always kept my hair short. eg. I screamed and cried when someone tried to comb my hair or try to cuddle me..God, I was a such a whiner.
She also sewed a dress for me. Actually it was an old one but she added some length to it so it was longer, and Dad made a cane from a tree branch. There I was..Little Bow Peep! Looking to find some sheep.
When it came my turn to skate down the ice, with my stonking braids flying in the wind I was the in my glory, I didn't care if I won or lost, I had my braids! I skated with so much confidence and when people clapped, I skated harder just so my braids could keep up with me. I didn't win, but we all got a bag of peanuts anyway.
I wore that braid cap for many a year. Finally Mom said, you look stupid, you are 18 years old...get over it.
I was thinking about that today for no apparent reason. Once I remembered that, I was on a roll. I remember what a hoot my mom got out of me calling them "stonkings." Apparently, I was her cutest and funniest first child. I remember going to grandma and grandpa's house with all the aunties and uncles, cousins and cats, and mom would ask me to say "stockings." And, when I would say "stonkings" they laughed so hard, I thought I might send in my resume to Saturday Night Live. Opps, that might be a lie, because at that time all we could get on TV was Wrestling, The Lone Ranger and Ed Sullivan, and now that I think of it..when I was that age there was no TV. Just books and your imagination.
Back to the Stonkings. I love skating. Our town was going to have a carnival at my skating rink, and we were all supposed to dress up in a costume and skate around and the person with the best skating and costume would win a bag of peanuts, or something just as grand.
My mom made me a "Little Bow Peep Costume"... She took a pair of old my stonkings. And cut them up in long strips of three and made braids out of them and put sewed them into a cap. I had braids down to my ass. I don't think I have ever been so excited in my life. I always wanted to have braids, but she always kept my hair short. eg. I screamed and cried when someone tried to comb my hair or try to cuddle me..God, I was a such a whiner.
She also sewed a dress for me. Actually it was an old one but she added some length to it so it was longer, and Dad made a cane from a tree branch. There I was..Little Bow Peep! Looking to find some sheep.
When it came my turn to skate down the ice, with my stonking braids flying in the wind I was the in my glory, I didn't care if I won or lost, I had my braids! I skated with so much confidence and when people clapped, I skated harder just so my braids could keep up with me. I didn't win, but we all got a bag of peanuts anyway.
I wore that braid cap for many a year. Finally Mom said, you look stupid, you are 18 years old...get over it.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Is it me?
It looks like what I had to say yesterday was so important,that I had to post it twice. I don't get it. Blogger gobbled up my Monday post and doubled up my Tuesday post. There is bloggershit in the air. I can smell it. Arseholes. So, I ask myself, "what do they want, their money back"? ummmm, no... I just want perfect service FOR NOTHING!! I have become a witchy bitch.
But, I have become something else as well, a lousy cook. Okay youse guys, try cooking with only a minimum amount of salt and fat OMG. I spend more time reading labels than I do making sure I have clean underwear on my bum.
Have you ever read the labels on all the stuff we purchase? It's mind boggling. I have caught on to much of it already, but every manufacturer has a different take on how much of what they put on what the label represents. I can buy a can of tomatoes for example, and one manufacture will put the salt content in "as per 2 tsp" and the other will put it in as 1/3 a cup." and rest will fuck you up with grams and mg's until you want to take that can and throw it at somebody who looks like mangement. So, how can you figure it out? Some of them are very tricky, and when you think you are buying something good for you, you see that you can only have a "lick of the spoon".. for all the salt content in the product.
I guess it's all about trying to make what's good for us from scratch. But, as a still working 61 year old, that is very tiring, and the industry knows it, and they know the younger generation who are stressed out having kids and jobs etc. need a fast way to make supper. Therefore poor choices. For them and their children.
I have always been aware of fat content in anything I buy, but I was very neglegent with the salt content until now. I didn't realize Gord had high blood pressure, until the INCIDENT, and salt is a bummer in his case. He of course was his worst enemy with his eating habits during the day...but I guess even if I would have made low salt meals at home it would still have happened. Hippychick, tells me over and over not to blame myself, but I do. I love to kick my own ass!!
BTW... I just checked and I have two of the same posts again ... huh? I had to delete the second one.
But, I have become something else as well, a lousy cook. Okay youse guys, try cooking with only a minimum amount of salt and fat OMG. I spend more time reading labels than I do making sure I have clean underwear on my bum.
Have you ever read the labels on all the stuff we purchase? It's mind boggling. I have caught on to much of it already, but every manufacturer has a different take on how much of what they put on what the label represents. I can buy a can of tomatoes for example, and one manufacture will put the salt content in "as per 2 tsp" and the other will put it in as 1/3 a cup." and rest will fuck you up with grams and mg's until you want to take that can and throw it at somebody who looks like mangement. So, how can you figure it out? Some of them are very tricky, and when you think you are buying something good for you, you see that you can only have a "lick of the spoon".. for all the salt content in the product.
I guess it's all about trying to make what's good for us from scratch. But, as a still working 61 year old, that is very tiring, and the industry knows it, and they know the younger generation who are stressed out having kids and jobs etc. need a fast way to make supper. Therefore poor choices. For them and their children.
I have always been aware of fat content in anything I buy, but I was very neglegent with the salt content until now. I didn't realize Gord had high blood pressure, until the INCIDENT, and salt is a bummer in his case. He of course was his worst enemy with his eating habits during the day...but I guess even if I would have made low salt meals at home it would still have happened. Hippychick, tells me over and over not to blame myself, but I do. I love to kick my own ass!!
BTW... I just checked and I have two of the same posts again ... huh? I had to delete the second one.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
hmmmmm
I published a post yesterday, and it's nowhere to be seen.
Who took it?
Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.
Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.
I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.
Who took it?
Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.
Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.
I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.
hmmmmm
I published a post yesterday, and it's nowhere to be seen.
Who took it?
Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.
Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.
I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.
Who took it?
Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.
Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.
I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.
Monday, March 26, 2007
The worst is over
You see, the water is coming in the rec room from a cement wall that is right beside the garage and goes down to the lower level. It's hard to describe in a house like ours. When we took all the dry wall off we could see a fine crack coming from the garage right down to the basement. I fought Gord about opening the wall last year and this year, because it would wreck everything in the rec room. So, he thought all his efforts in sloping the patio etc. would alleviate most of the problems. It did not.
I cringed, when he started sawing the wall apart. OMG, because we want to sell the house in a year or so, and we aren't carpenters able to fix it by any means!! But, there it was plain as day, THE CRACK that has plagued us for so long. We did actually get some sleep last night. When he came home, he repatched the entire area, and we only got up twice to vac it out and spin dry the towels. It's not half as bad as it was last year, because we know where it's coming from and have done something to curb it.
So, I am going to phone our insurance agent tomorrow, to see if we are covered for this. Probably not, knowing insurance companies. A lot of the floor tiles have loosened and come apart, and now the wall is screwed. Last year our carpet in the main area was soaked, but we managed to save it, but this year it looks a little wilted from all the water last year. Who knows. It's not like we ever go down there, I can't stand to be in a room without windows, so I never made use of the area. We have some old crap down there, but I got rid most of it last year. It's pretty bare bones, especially when you never know what spring might bring.
Yesterday I wrote, we had a 3 level split, I meant a 4 level split. I can hardly walk today, from all the exercise, it felt like I had really good sex without the fun. Gord and I were up to our asses in cement filler..soooo it didn't happen. We had it in our face, hair, clothes, floor, dog and probably in our private parts... by the time we were finished. Everything was shut up tight. You can't be too careful, can you? Anyway I won't have a miracle baby, because I was cemented shut. Like we actually had the energy for that last night..heh...
I got to make one more trip down in the hole tonight before we go to bed, and we should be good until the morn.
I was bitchy last night, but I made a really good pot roast, now we are having stew, with a surprise! Let's see how "Mikey likes that?"...the surprise if is...guess?
Balonie...she is evil!
I cringed, when he started sawing the wall apart. OMG, because we want to sell the house in a year or so, and we aren't carpenters able to fix it by any means!! But, there it was plain as day, THE CRACK that has plagued us for so long. We did actually get some sleep last night. When he came home, he repatched the entire area, and we only got up twice to vac it out and spin dry the towels. It's not half as bad as it was last year, because we know where it's coming from and have done something to curb it.
So, I am going to phone our insurance agent tomorrow, to see if we are covered for this. Probably not, knowing insurance companies. A lot of the floor tiles have loosened and come apart, and now the wall is screwed. Last year our carpet in the main area was soaked, but we managed to save it, but this year it looks a little wilted from all the water last year. Who knows. It's not like we ever go down there, I can't stand to be in a room without windows, so I never made use of the area. We have some old crap down there, but I got rid most of it last year. It's pretty bare bones, especially when you never know what spring might bring.
Yesterday I wrote, we had a 3 level split, I meant a 4 level split. I can hardly walk today, from all the exercise, it felt like I had really good sex without the fun. Gord and I were up to our asses in cement filler..soooo it didn't happen. We had it in our face, hair, clothes, floor, dog and probably in our private parts... by the time we were finished. Everything was shut up tight. You can't be too careful, can you? Anyway I won't have a miracle baby, because I was cemented shut. Like we actually had the energy for that last night..heh...
I got to make one more trip down in the hole tonight before we go to bed, and we should be good until the morn.
I was bitchy last night, but I made a really good pot roast, now we are having stew, with a surprise! Let's see how "Mikey likes that?"...the surprise if is...guess?
Balonie...she is evil!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
I spoke to soon.
The water started to rush in this morning, with a vengence. I have been down there on the half hour, with the shop vac cleaning it out. Fuck!
Gord decided to take the gyp rock off the wall, and we saw a huge crack in the cement along side of it. That is where it has been coming from all the time. Spring run off is in high gear right now, so if the last three years were an indication, we won't be getting much sleep this week! We tried to repair it with a cement mixture that would tolerate water, but it hasn't seemed to stem the flow. I have about 30 towels on the floor, just so I can get a break, and then go back down and put them in a bucket, take them to the washer to spin the water out, and start all over again. Then I had to get my laundry done in between that...awwww. I am more than exhaused. The basement is three floors down. Don't ever buy a three level split house. Ever.
I don't want Gord to be stressed over this, so I am trying do more than my share, so he doesn't worry too much. I will sleep in the guest bedroom downstairs, so I can get up every two hours or so and run down to vac the shit out. Fuck! oh, did I say that already?
Sunday night supper: who gives a crap!
Update tomorrow!!
Gord decided to take the gyp rock off the wall, and we saw a huge crack in the cement along side of it. That is where it has been coming from all the time. Spring run off is in high gear right now, so if the last three years were an indication, we won't be getting much sleep this week! We tried to repair it with a cement mixture that would tolerate water, but it hasn't seemed to stem the flow. I have about 30 towels on the floor, just so I can get a break, and then go back down and put them in a bucket, take them to the washer to spin the water out, and start all over again. Then I had to get my laundry done in between that...awwww. I am more than exhaused. The basement is three floors down. Don't ever buy a three level split house. Ever.
I don't want Gord to be stressed over this, so I am trying do more than my share, so he doesn't worry too much. I will sleep in the guest bedroom downstairs, so I can get up every two hours or so and run down to vac the shit out. Fuck! oh, did I say that already?
Sunday night supper: who gives a crap!
Update tomorrow!!
Friday, March 23, 2007
Sure signs of spring
** It's raining
** The geese are flocking
** Masses of dog shit that are heaving in the back yard and destroying the ozone layer.
** Poor dead little birds under my window on the deck who thought that it was the stairway to heaven.
** My creepy neighbour who emerged, looking as creepy as he did last year.
** Snowbanks that look like they need a good scrubbing. All the dirt is just disgusting.
** Melting snowpersons. The neighbours SP just lost his nose, I saw the carrot on the ground. But by the next day it was gone. The bunnies got it. Don't you just love recycling?
** Penny. She has shifted into spring mode. All she wants to do is play outside, but the backyard is still a sorry mess, and I can't get out there until all the snow melts. Unless I want to sink up to my ass in the soft snow, shit, broken branches, and misc. obnoxious crap that has accumulated over this stinking winter.
** I mentioned the crows before. I think they found me. I threw a rock at them. Bastards.
** I'm just waiting for the basement to flood again like last year. You all remember Gord reshoring our patio blocks last summer, so it wouldn't happen again. Let's cross our fingers he did it right and sloped them all down the right way. I'm surprised he didn't have AN INCIDENT last summer, because it was a huge job.
I'm just loving listening to the the soft rain. This spring more than most. I have taken so much for granted over the years, and sweated the small stuff. Change is hard, but yet so easy when you put it all in perspective.
Gord and I have been having breakfast, lunch and supper together ever since THE INCIDENT, and today he wanted "off the leash". He is getting a little sick of my low cal food. When he got to the shop this morning, he said he was going to go to the family restaurant next door and have his usual Friday Bacon and eggs. I looked at him, and said, "I can't stop you"...but you know it's not the right thing to do. He hemmed and hawwed...and said "can't I have it just once a month"? I said, yeah, but the month ain't up yet since you had THE INCIDENT. So, he went back into his office and did some work, and came back an hour later eating an orange. He had changed his mind. Yes, I know it was a guilt trip, but he loves fast food (hamburgers) way too much. I asked him later, if he was coming home for lunch, and he said no, because he had a call that would take him over the lunch hour. I said that was okay, he could just come home and have some left over Chili and toast.
Around 4:00 PM when he came back to the shop, he said he had gone to Tim Hortons for lunch and had a bowl of Chili and a whole wheat bun and a coffee. He was almost looking down at his feet as he was telling me this...poor guy. He didn't fail. It's better than eating hamburgers!!
What I don't understand is that I had a huge batch of chili in the fridge I had made on Wednesay, and he didn't like it. He said it didn't have any "taste." Well, the only thing I am doing diffently now, is I am using "no salt" tomatoes. He prides himself in never using salt at the table, welll...yeah....I never put salt in my recipes either, but all the crap I use to make has it has so much salt in it, it could kill a crow. He is missing the salt...and that is why he enjoyed the chili from Tim Hortons. No, I think that is a lie.
He just wanted some freedom, and make his own choices. It's a fine line I lead. It's only been a month, so we will have our ups and downs, but we will work this shit out.
Have a good weekend....hey..did you see the new template..surprise!!! balonie made it, she is worse than salt, she rules me.
** The geese are flocking
** Masses of dog shit that are heaving in the back yard and destroying the ozone layer.
** Poor dead little birds under my window on the deck who thought that it was the stairway to heaven.
** My creepy neighbour who emerged, looking as creepy as he did last year.
** Snowbanks that look like they need a good scrubbing. All the dirt is just disgusting.
** Melting snowpersons. The neighbours SP just lost his nose, I saw the carrot on the ground. But by the next day it was gone. The bunnies got it. Don't you just love recycling?
** Penny. She has shifted into spring mode. All she wants to do is play outside, but the backyard is still a sorry mess, and I can't get out there until all the snow melts. Unless I want to sink up to my ass in the soft snow, shit, broken branches, and misc. obnoxious crap that has accumulated over this stinking winter.
** I mentioned the crows before. I think they found me. I threw a rock at them. Bastards.
** I'm just waiting for the basement to flood again like last year. You all remember Gord reshoring our patio blocks last summer, so it wouldn't happen again. Let's cross our fingers he did it right and sloped them all down the right way. I'm surprised he didn't have AN INCIDENT last summer, because it was a huge job.
I'm just loving listening to the the soft rain. This spring more than most. I have taken so much for granted over the years, and sweated the small stuff. Change is hard, but yet so easy when you put it all in perspective.
Gord and I have been having breakfast, lunch and supper together ever since THE INCIDENT, and today he wanted "off the leash". He is getting a little sick of my low cal food. When he got to the shop this morning, he said he was going to go to the family restaurant next door and have his usual Friday Bacon and eggs. I looked at him, and said, "I can't stop you"...but you know it's not the right thing to do. He hemmed and hawwed...and said "can't I have it just once a month"? I said, yeah, but the month ain't up yet since you had THE INCIDENT. So, he went back into his office and did some work, and came back an hour later eating an orange. He had changed his mind. Yes, I know it was a guilt trip, but he loves fast food (hamburgers) way too much. I asked him later, if he was coming home for lunch, and he said no, because he had a call that would take him over the lunch hour. I said that was okay, he could just come home and have some left over Chili and toast.
Around 4:00 PM when he came back to the shop, he said he had gone to Tim Hortons for lunch and had a bowl of Chili and a whole wheat bun and a coffee. He was almost looking down at his feet as he was telling me this...poor guy. He didn't fail. It's better than eating hamburgers!!
What I don't understand is that I had a huge batch of chili in the fridge I had made on Wednesay, and he didn't like it. He said it didn't have any "taste." Well, the only thing I am doing diffently now, is I am using "no salt" tomatoes. He prides himself in never using salt at the table, welll...yeah....I never put salt in my recipes either, but all the crap I use to make has it has so much salt in it, it could kill a crow. He is missing the salt...and that is why he enjoyed the chili from Tim Hortons. No, I think that is a lie.
He just wanted some freedom, and make his own choices. It's a fine line I lead. It's only been a month, so we will have our ups and downs, but we will work this shit out.
Have a good weekend....hey..did you see the new template..surprise!!! balonie made it, she is worse than salt, she rules me.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The geese have returned........
All is well. maybe not, so have the crows. You know, if I hear one more of those sumabitches "cawing" on my tree outside on the deck, I'm going to buy a pistol. And not one of those that has a flag popping out when you pull the trigger. I'm buying me a heavy duty machine gun. I know, we have gun controls in Canada, but who would miss a crow? rat a tat tat.
I know what I did last spring is going to come and bite me on my ass. I saved a nest of almost full grown crow babies from dying. Something must have happened to the crowmother, and then the crowfather was in charge. As it is with most men, he was totally useless without crowmother. All he did was "caw" for her over...and over again... saying .."bring the kids some food, clean up the nest you pig, and give me some lovin tonight". Crowmother, probably had a restraining order against him, because he took off the next day, and left the fledglings on their own. And she probably flew to Florida, to find herself a rich sugar daddy crow. Maternal instincts are not present in all of our fine feathered friends.
So, I started feeding them dog food. They could fly from the tree the the fence, and everyday I would put out dry dog food on the the ledge of the fence, and everyday it would be gone when I got home!! And at night they would be back in the nest, crying for crowmother and crowshitheaddad. I sat on the deck many a night talking to them, and trying to console them, and some them actually, flew into the tree directly by the deck to listen to me. I did that for a few weeks, and finally they took off by themselves. Actually crows are very smart. I think I mentioned this way back...that Gord had a crow that they found abandoned when he was just a kid. He was the smartest little thing you ever saw. Too bad some lady in town didn't like him taking the clothes pins off her wash line and dropping her clothes in the mud!! He was mischievious!! He loved everything "silver" and hid all Gord's dad's tools in the shop in the rafters!! Joe, the crow!! He was cool.
So, I'm thinking most birds come back to where they were born to nest, and maybe I'll see those loud mouth buggers again. Maybe they will remember me. I was sort of a mother figure. heh..
I know what I did last spring is going to come and bite me on my ass. I saved a nest of almost full grown crow babies from dying. Something must have happened to the crowmother, and then the crowfather was in charge. As it is with most men, he was totally useless without crowmother. All he did was "caw" for her over...and over again... saying .."bring the kids some food, clean up the nest you pig, and give me some lovin tonight". Crowmother, probably had a restraining order against him, because he took off the next day, and left the fledglings on their own. And she probably flew to Florida, to find herself a rich sugar daddy crow. Maternal instincts are not present in all of our fine feathered friends.
So, I started feeding them dog food. They could fly from the tree the the fence, and everyday I would put out dry dog food on the the ledge of the fence, and everyday it would be gone when I got home!! And at night they would be back in the nest, crying for crowmother and crowshitheaddad. I sat on the deck many a night talking to them, and trying to console them, and some them actually, flew into the tree directly by the deck to listen to me. I did that for a few weeks, and finally they took off by themselves. Actually crows are very smart. I think I mentioned this way back...that Gord had a crow that they found abandoned when he was just a kid. He was the smartest little thing you ever saw. Too bad some lady in town didn't like him taking the clothes pins off her wash line and dropping her clothes in the mud!! He was mischievious!! He loved everything "silver" and hid all Gord's dad's tools in the shop in the rafters!! Joe, the crow!! He was cool.
So, I'm thinking most birds come back to where they were born to nest, and maybe I'll see those loud mouth buggers again. Maybe they will remember me. I was sort of a mother figure. heh..
Monday, March 19, 2007
You know the the snowballs I threw yesterday?
WELL, it screwed up my knee. It hurts like a bitch. I must of leaned on it in the wet snow to get some leaverage, and hurt the damn thing. I found out later, it didn't do any good anyway, the satellite signal was out, not my iced up dish. Dumbass balonie was giving me all the wrong signals. I hate her. She probably screwed up my carrot cake muffins. She's been messing with my head all weekend.
I had to laugh the other day, our nephew Chris called from British Columbia to see how his Uncle Gordie was doing, and when I answered he said "Hi Balonie"...awwwww ..he gave me the name. I had almost forgotten that.
Well, those lazy man's cabbage rolls, sure kept me "regular." I could have shit through the eye of a needle this morning. It's all with the cabbage.
Maybe I should change the name of my blog, to "It's Always About the Bowel Movement."
I'm sure you would be flocking over here to see my next one.
We are have pork tenderloins tonight...with salad and and good attitude.:)
I had to laugh the other day, our nephew Chris called from British Columbia to see how his Uncle Gordie was doing, and when I answered he said "Hi Balonie"...awwwww ..he gave me the name. I had almost forgotten that.
Well, those lazy man's cabbage rolls, sure kept me "regular." I could have shit through the eye of a needle this morning. It's all with the cabbage.
Maybe I should change the name of my blog, to "It's Always About the Bowel Movement."
I'm sure you would be flocking over here to see my next one.
We are have pork tenderloins tonight...with salad and and good attitude.:)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Baking crap and no TV makes for a sad balonie
It's been a quite day. No TV! We have had been getting rain mixed with snow, and it all stuck to our "thing of a ma jig" ..hmmm "dish" on the roof. I tried throwing wet snowballs at it to get the snow off, and damn near put my arm out. I must have thrown 20 balls up there, and missed 15 times, and the other five didn't do much good. I gotta get into shape, I'll never make the major leagues at this rate.
I got up early this morn because I knew it was time to start putting our tax stuff together for the end of April. I spent all day doing bookwork, and got a few days left to complete it all. I have to get better organized, so I don't always get so stressed at the last moment.
We are still on "save Gord from himself" while eating smarter. He has been excellent and hardly wrinkles his big nose at my food preps anymore. Except yesterday, when I made fresh salmon with wild rice. It was great!! I love it. But, if fish tastes "fishy" it's all over for him! I ususally bake Basa or other mild fish which he can tolerate, but he didn't like this one. Gawwwd it was so delcious. So, I guess I will have to cook up the rest of the fillets for myself. His loss. I have been doing a lot of experimenting lately with our diet, and of course some is good and some is not so good (don't get me started on my first try at muffins). I know all the in's and out's of eating smarter. I cook that way at home anyway, but his horrible habits of eating cheeseburgers, everyday, plus having a huge bag of chips at this side in the truck did nothing but make him fatter and fatter, and cancelled out what was happening at home.
We had this all under control 10 years ago, but it went to hell for him. I, don't like fast food anyway, but I know I was eating way to much pasta, cheese etc. at home when he wasn't there. God I love spagetti. And the pizza's on Friday were both our downfall.
So today for lunch I surprised him, we got up late and only had a muffin and coffee for breakfast. I made Turkey Bacon sandwiches! By god it's good, Mikey even liked it. We had Turkey Bacon, tomato and "Egg Creations" sandwiches. The Egg Creations come in a pint sized jug .. and they are only egg whites with some kind of yellow colouring, but hey,they are good when all compressed in two pieces of toast along with fake bacon, fake mayo and real tomatoes. We were smiling.
Tonites supper IS: Lazy Man's Cabbage Rolls. Just like in the day. It's got all the good stuff in it, I just make sure the hamburger is very lean. I still make all my old favorites, but keep the fat to minium. You shouldn't have to change every damn thing, because then you loose your will to want to get to your goal weight. I make sure we always have something on hand that is satisfying.
So...have a gander...
Excuse the dishes under the cutting board, that is where I hide them if the dishwasher if full. I think someone should cut off my hands for being such a bad housewife. No...cut off my ...nevermind I'm getting a little punchy. Time for Lazy Man's
Yummy Banana and blueberry muffins. You don't wont know what I did to my first batch of muffins, I must have been on some mind altering drugs, but they tasted like sawdust. I got the recipe from stupid book I bought at Safeway. I think I was still in shock and was very vunerable ...I'm over that now. The day after I made them I left a banana and a one of my wonderful um muffins for Gord on the table for breakfast, so he could have them with his coffee, and he phoned me at work and asked me if I was trying to kill him!! I think it was the shredded carrots in there that really took the "muff" out of muffins. Crappola my friends... I think I probably didn't shred them fine enough and they were "a little burnt' and stuck up his nose. I have never been good at baking. So this is my first trip down this road. I'm good at pies, but....I don't think I'll be making them anytime soon.
See you all soon...be well.
Where is my mom when I need her?
She must of just heard me...my TV just came back on...thanks Mom!!
I got up early this morn because I knew it was time to start putting our tax stuff together for the end of April. I spent all day doing bookwork, and got a few days left to complete it all. I have to get better organized, so I don't always get so stressed at the last moment.
We are still on "save Gord from himself" while eating smarter. He has been excellent and hardly wrinkles his big nose at my food preps anymore. Except yesterday, when I made fresh salmon with wild rice. It was great!! I love it. But, if fish tastes "fishy" it's all over for him! I ususally bake Basa or other mild fish which he can tolerate, but he didn't like this one. Gawwwd it was so delcious. So, I guess I will have to cook up the rest of the fillets for myself. His loss. I have been doing a lot of experimenting lately with our diet, and of course some is good and some is not so good (don't get me started on my first try at muffins). I know all the in's and out's of eating smarter. I cook that way at home anyway, but his horrible habits of eating cheeseburgers, everyday, plus having a huge bag of chips at this side in the truck did nothing but make him fatter and fatter, and cancelled out what was happening at home.
We had this all under control 10 years ago, but it went to hell for him. I, don't like fast food anyway, but I know I was eating way to much pasta, cheese etc. at home when he wasn't there. God I love spagetti. And the pizza's on Friday were both our downfall.
So today for lunch I surprised him, we got up late and only had a muffin and coffee for breakfast. I made Turkey Bacon sandwiches! By god it's good, Mikey even liked it. We had Turkey Bacon, tomato and "Egg Creations" sandwiches. The Egg Creations come in a pint sized jug .. and they are only egg whites with some kind of yellow colouring, but hey,they are good when all compressed in two pieces of toast along with fake bacon, fake mayo and real tomatoes. We were smiling.
Tonites supper IS: Lazy Man's Cabbage Rolls. Just like in the day. It's got all the good stuff in it, I just make sure the hamburger is very lean. I still make all my old favorites, but keep the fat to minium. You shouldn't have to change every damn thing, because then you loose your will to want to get to your goal weight. I make sure we always have something on hand that is satisfying.
So...have a gander...
Excuse the dishes under the cutting board, that is where I hide them if the dishwasher if full. I think someone should cut off my hands for being such a bad housewife. No...cut off my ...nevermind I'm getting a little punchy. Time for Lazy Man's
Yummy Banana and blueberry muffins. You don't wont know what I did to my first batch of muffins, I must have been on some mind altering drugs, but they tasted like sawdust. I got the recipe from stupid book I bought at Safeway. I think I was still in shock and was very vunerable ...I'm over that now. The day after I made them I left a banana and a one of my wonderful um muffins for Gord on the table for breakfast, so he could have them with his coffee, and he phoned me at work and asked me if I was trying to kill him!! I think it was the shredded carrots in there that really took the "muff" out of muffins. Crappola my friends... I think I probably didn't shred them fine enough and they were "a little burnt' and stuck up his nose. I have never been good at baking. So this is my first trip down this road. I'm good at pies, but....I don't think I'll be making them anytime soon.
See you all soon...be well.
Where is my mom when I need her?
She must of just heard me...my TV just came back on...thanks Mom!!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Just a note to my blogging friends
I took all your wise advise, and told the telemarketers to take us off their phone list, since then, the phone has been silent. It's a little scary. I have to pick up the phone every now and again to make sure it working. Finally, I have some peace. I know the CRTC here in Canada are going to come down on them very soon, so maybe they are backing off. It was a living hell. We had at least 4 a night and when I came home for lunch during the day, I would be answering the phone at least twice in that hour.
So, thanks for all your advise, I appreciate it.
I made homemade whole grain pizza buns for supper tonight. I know it's getting old for Gord, but I made them a little different than I did the last two weeks, today I put them in a new pan. HA, it's different, isn't it??????????? Same shit, different pan. Hey, I like them!! Get used it it buddy! It's really hard getting low sodium pepperoni. I don't think God has invented that yet. I thought of boiling it, then sitting on it for about an hour to get the salt out of it. But, I didn't want to pucker up my ASS. That is the only firm part of my body!!! The highlight of the evening will be with the fat free, sugar free ice-cream/with a banana. I might make a smoothy with it in the blender to make it taste better.
Recipes...anyone?
Till Sunday supper...
So, thanks for all your advise, I appreciate it.
I made homemade whole grain pizza buns for supper tonight. I know it's getting old for Gord, but I made them a little different than I did the last two weeks, today I put them in a new pan. HA, it's different, isn't it??????????? Same shit, different pan. Hey, I like them!! Get used it it buddy! It's really hard getting low sodium pepperoni. I don't think God has invented that yet. I thought of boiling it, then sitting on it for about an hour to get the salt out of it. But, I didn't want to pucker up my ASS. That is the only firm part of my body!!! The highlight of the evening will be with the fat free, sugar free ice-cream/with a banana. I might make a smoothy with it in the blender to make it taste better.
Recipes...anyone?
Till Sunday supper...
Thursday, March 15, 2007
More whining
All is well at Chez Martin.
I almost felt good enough today to change my template. I had an itch. But my boss came back too soon from his meeting, and screwed me up. So I will wait until the weekend and see if the "itch" is still there.
I have lost 15 pounds since Christmas!! I didn't realize it until I bought a scale on Saturday. I weighed myself at a friends house during the holidays and knew how much I weighed, and when I bought the scale on Saturday, I was shocked. But, now that I think of it my pants were falling off me bones, and I never much paid attention. I gain weight in my upper body first, and my skinny ass and legs never get the puffy stuff to match the rest of my body, therefore making me look like ummm much larger on top than the bottom. It's hard to describe. Try Lollypop. So as of today I am 150 lbs. My goal is 140. I have been down to 135 before, but I look a little weasel like then. We will see.
Tomorrow Gord and I are going out for his first fast food adventure since the INCIDENT. So, far he has been coming home for my low cal lunches. We will be going to Subway. He has been fast fooding it for so many years and I know he misses it. So, to ease his mind from only eating my low cal, salt free menu, we will actually get someone else to "bring it on." 1/2 a sub..only. (on whole wheat) Because I will be present and kick his ass if orders more. And if he has a melt down, shucks, I will bring along a nice little fruit cup we can have for dessert. HAA
awwwwwwwwwwwww this is so hard.
But, this too shall pass.
I almost felt good enough today to change my template. I had an itch. But my boss came back too soon from his meeting, and screwed me up. So I will wait until the weekend and see if the "itch" is still there.
I have lost 15 pounds since Christmas!! I didn't realize it until I bought a scale on Saturday. I weighed myself at a friends house during the holidays and knew how much I weighed, and when I bought the scale on Saturday, I was shocked. But, now that I think of it my pants were falling off me bones, and I never much paid attention. I gain weight in my upper body first, and my skinny ass and legs never get the puffy stuff to match the rest of my body, therefore making me look like ummm much larger on top than the bottom. It's hard to describe. Try Lollypop. So as of today I am 150 lbs. My goal is 140. I have been down to 135 before, but I look a little weasel like then. We will see.
Tomorrow Gord and I are going out for his first fast food adventure since the INCIDENT. So, far he has been coming home for my low cal lunches. We will be going to Subway. He has been fast fooding it for so many years and I know he misses it. So, to ease his mind from only eating my low cal, salt free menu, we will actually get someone else to "bring it on." 1/2 a sub..only. (on whole wheat) Because I will be present and kick his ass if orders more. And if he has a melt down, shucks, I will bring along a nice little fruit cup we can have for dessert. HAA
awwwwwwwwwwwww this is so hard.
But, this too shall pass.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
It was American Idol or blogging
I chose blogging. It's on in the background, but I keep swivelling my head to watch the TV...and it's starting to hurt.
Oh...what was I saying... Hi!
Things are going very well around here. It's amazing how much has changed. Diet, attitudes and some kind words. I took a long look at myself, and how I approached every crossroad in our lives. Before it only took a few minutes after he walked into the house after work, and brought home the days paperwork, and he would ask me a question .."if this was paid" or something like that...and I would fly off the handle. I was just tired after a long days work ...just wanted to sit in front of the computer and blog a bit before supper with no stress. But, what I forgot, he had just come off a long day of his own and maybe wanted to talk about stuff, and not see the back of my head while I was typing.
We are both to blame for getting on each other nerves, we are so used to treating each other with a little disdain when things get rough. I had forgotten how to be kind, and loving. For a long time. You get into a pattern, and it escalates. I did my thing, he did his. And I knew a long time ago this was wrong, but I didn't do much about it. I realize I am not totally responsible for his condition, but I ignored much of it. Time lost. Things have been so much different, when I don't get all crazy over anything he proposes or thinks about. My hyperness certainly has had an effect on him. I have to realize I was not the only problem, all his friends and family always came to him for help; for fixing appliances for NOTHING, or just support, and he was always there to help. I think sometimes, I was jealous, he spent more time with them, than with me..and I started to shut him out.
I am working on it. We will fix this together. I have held my head in the sand way too long.
Oh...what was I saying... Hi!
Things are going very well around here. It's amazing how much has changed. Diet, attitudes and some kind words. I took a long look at myself, and how I approached every crossroad in our lives. Before it only took a few minutes after he walked into the house after work, and brought home the days paperwork, and he would ask me a question .."if this was paid" or something like that...and I would fly off the handle. I was just tired after a long days work ...just wanted to sit in front of the computer and blog a bit before supper with no stress. But, what I forgot, he had just come off a long day of his own and maybe wanted to talk about stuff, and not see the back of my head while I was typing.
We are both to blame for getting on each other nerves, we are so used to treating each other with a little disdain when things get rough. I had forgotten how to be kind, and loving. For a long time. You get into a pattern, and it escalates. I did my thing, he did his. And I knew a long time ago this was wrong, but I didn't do much about it. I realize I am not totally responsible for his condition, but I ignored much of it. Time lost. Things have been so much different, when I don't get all crazy over anything he proposes or thinks about. My hyperness certainly has had an effect on him. I have to realize I was not the only problem, all his friends and family always came to him for help; for fixing appliances for NOTHING, or just support, and he was always there to help. I think sometimes, I was jealous, he spent more time with them, than with me..and I started to shut him out.
I am working on it. We will fix this together. I have held my head in the sand way too long.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Chucking out the old..bringing in the new.
Well, it's Sunday night and I am armed with a glass of wine, a few smokes, mild weather and a good attitude.
Thanks to all of you who commented again. I will use that information whenever someone calls again. We must be on every list in the world. The phone starts to ring the minute I get home until 9:00PM.
The pot roast in bubbling on the oven as we speak, along with baked taters, and a mixed veggie medley. Gord will be very happy. My extreme low cal dinners are getting him down. I have to realize if he doesn't get some normal food, his diet will fail. I have always cooked low fat etc. but after what happened I think I went a little berserk, and denied him EVERYTHING!! What's wrong with having a banana for supper? What do you mean you can't find any meat in your sandwich?...can't you see the two teaspoons of salmon I put on it underneath the head of lettuce and two pounds of tomatoes? If I keep doing this I will set him up for failure, so now I am going to relax a bit, and everything will be in moderation, not fear. We both have lost 10 lbs. since THE INCIDENT. I'm not ready to say the H.A. word yet. Last night we were talking, and he said he hasn't felt this well for years. So, the med's are working. We have a blood pressure monitor at home, and he takes it twice a day and we keep a running record and it has been "right on" all the time. So, that is comforting. I can sleep at night.
It is surprising how much this mild weather has made me relax a bit. And I thought I would hate the daylight savings time change, but I don't, it's nice to have a sunny house for a few more hours in the evening. I guess I will know just how much I love it tomorrow when I get up in the morning and it will still be dark..grrrrr.
I just realized I cut my King Ludwig story short. I'm betting you were are holding your breath waiting for the next episode heh...Luddy was a bit of a "douche magnet" as I found out later. He wasn't holding court with all those that had his best interests at heart. (I have typed douche in two entries in a row) I must be getting back to my ole self. Or balonie is lurking. I have decided he was a boring King, and I'm going to oust him from my blog kingdom and find someone who's moat I wouldn't mind crossing.
I've been having a bit a struggle with the new guy my boss hired in the office. I'm used to being the only person there when he is away, which is often. Now, I am dealing with a whiner who has been freshly separated with his wife and three children, who wants to TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! I MEAN ALL THE TIME. He is a forty year old man in child's clothing. I try to ignore him, when he sidles up to my desk and tries to get a conversation going that eventually leads it up to his problems. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to get involved. I am sure my boss hired him because they go to the same church, and he felt sorry for him. He is a smart guy, but apparently not a smart husband, because she left him, and put a restraining order on him.
I feel bad for ignoring him because I know he has problems, but this is my workplace and got to get shit done. Yesterday he told me if my boss wouldn't have hired him, he probably would have killed himself by now.......... OMG I don't need this information I have enough to deal with at home.
I don't think he ever held a decent job in his life. He has been a student most of sorts most of his life...you know the kind that just go to school so they don't have to work. His wife has been the bread winner with her own business. He has had a dozen mindless jobs and take the summers off to plant trees in British Colombia. He makes his own carrot juice......if he hasn't told me this a thousand times. He is a health food nut, but when the boss brings in donuts, he eats them all. Ahem.
Poor Penny has been ignored a bit in all the excitement these last few weeks. So, I tried to pay more attention to her today, just to make sure she is okay. I took her out for a walk, and had play time in the back yard between loads and loads of laundry that had been piling up. Plus, I made a batch of muffins ..from scratch. I'm not a good baker. They were low fat carrot cake muffins, and low and behold, they turned out to be very tasty. Let's just see if "Mikey" likes them.
Then I decided to clean out all the cabinets in the bathroom. I couldn't be stopped. I needed to clean up shit and throw out shit. I had a garbage bag of stuff after all was said and done. I must have had 30 bottles of shampoo and conditioner that had 1/2 a gram of product left in it, along with expired cold remedies, old mouthwash bottles that looked like someone spit back in it, and at least two different decorator soap, and toothbrush holders from the 80's. There was two dog bowls in there, from when my dog died in 2000. I guess I hid them out of view for some reason. I can't believe I kept all this crap. it wasn't dirty...just cluttered.
Then, the medicine cabinet. There was a bottle of Tylenol 3 sitting there with an expiration date of Nov. 1986. All the old med's get pushed to the back and the new one's went in front, I guess. What a slob. I found a package of hemorrhoid suppositories from 1999. I remember that year, it was painful. Maybe I was keeping all this stuff for posterity? It's like a scrapbook of our lives. There were 5 bottles of Visine. Ummm.. I have no recollection of having eyes problems. A can of some kind of Jock Itch stuff, with about 1/2 a spray left in it. 2 tubes of Polysporin that practically walked out by themselves. A jar of "Vicks" that had a fingerfull left in it. A package of mixed band aids, that only had the large band aids left in it, just in case you got stabbed in the middle of the night. I remember the last time I cut my finger, I had to wear this huge mother band aid till the bleeding stopped. Gawwwd I can't believe I have let things go for so long.
Then came the drawers. Makeup I haven't worn since the 80's were chucked. Dried out mascara, lipstick, old everything. Gone. I feel good, a new start. I already did my closets last week, you would not believe the clothes I have kept. Yes, some were hippyish.
I'm going to start on the basement next week. Then I am going to get the house painted. I just feel this need to get rid of all the old and start fresh.
It takes AN INCIDENT to wake you up.
Have a great week.
Thanks to all of you who commented again. I will use that information whenever someone calls again. We must be on every list in the world. The phone starts to ring the minute I get home until 9:00PM.
The pot roast in bubbling on the oven as we speak, along with baked taters, and a mixed veggie medley. Gord will be very happy. My extreme low cal dinners are getting him down. I have to realize if he doesn't get some normal food, his diet will fail. I have always cooked low fat etc. but after what happened I think I went a little berserk, and denied him EVERYTHING!! What's wrong with having a banana for supper? What do you mean you can't find any meat in your sandwich?...can't you see the two teaspoons of salmon I put on it underneath the head of lettuce and two pounds of tomatoes? If I keep doing this I will set him up for failure, so now I am going to relax a bit, and everything will be in moderation, not fear. We both have lost 10 lbs. since THE INCIDENT. I'm not ready to say the H.A. word yet. Last night we were talking, and he said he hasn't felt this well for years. So, the med's are working. We have a blood pressure monitor at home, and he takes it twice a day and we keep a running record and it has been "right on" all the time. So, that is comforting. I can sleep at night.
It is surprising how much this mild weather has made me relax a bit. And I thought I would hate the daylight savings time change, but I don't, it's nice to have a sunny house for a few more hours in the evening. I guess I will know just how much I love it tomorrow when I get up in the morning and it will still be dark..grrrrr.
I just realized I cut my King Ludwig story short. I'm betting you were are holding your breath waiting for the next episode heh...Luddy was a bit of a "douche magnet" as I found out later. He wasn't holding court with all those that had his best interests at heart. (I have typed douche in two entries in a row) I must be getting back to my ole self. Or balonie is lurking. I have decided he was a boring King, and I'm going to oust him from my blog kingdom and find someone who's moat I wouldn't mind crossing.
I've been having a bit a struggle with the new guy my boss hired in the office. I'm used to being the only person there when he is away, which is often. Now, I am dealing with a whiner who has been freshly separated with his wife and three children, who wants to TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! I MEAN ALL THE TIME. He is a forty year old man in child's clothing. I try to ignore him, when he sidles up to my desk and tries to get a conversation going that eventually leads it up to his problems. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to get involved. I am sure my boss hired him because they go to the same church, and he felt sorry for him. He is a smart guy, but apparently not a smart husband, because she left him, and put a restraining order on him.
I feel bad for ignoring him because I know he has problems, but this is my workplace and got to get shit done. Yesterday he told me if my boss wouldn't have hired him, he probably would have killed himself by now.......... OMG I don't need this information I have enough to deal with at home.
I don't think he ever held a decent job in his life. He has been a student most of sorts most of his life...you know the kind that just go to school so they don't have to work. His wife has been the bread winner with her own business. He has had a dozen mindless jobs and take the summers off to plant trees in British Colombia. He makes his own carrot juice......if he hasn't told me this a thousand times. He is a health food nut, but when the boss brings in donuts, he eats them all. Ahem.
Poor Penny has been ignored a bit in all the excitement these last few weeks. So, I tried to pay more attention to her today, just to make sure she is okay. I took her out for a walk, and had play time in the back yard between loads and loads of laundry that had been piling up. Plus, I made a batch of muffins ..from scratch. I'm not a good baker. They were low fat carrot cake muffins, and low and behold, they turned out to be very tasty. Let's just see if "Mikey" likes them.
Then I decided to clean out all the cabinets in the bathroom. I couldn't be stopped. I needed to clean up shit and throw out shit. I had a garbage bag of stuff after all was said and done. I must have had 30 bottles of shampoo and conditioner that had 1/2 a gram of product left in it, along with expired cold remedies, old mouthwash bottles that looked like someone spit back in it, and at least two different decorator soap, and toothbrush holders from the 80's. There was two dog bowls in there, from when my dog died in 2000. I guess I hid them out of view for some reason. I can't believe I kept all this crap. it wasn't dirty...just cluttered.
Then, the medicine cabinet. There was a bottle of Tylenol 3 sitting there with an expiration date of Nov. 1986. All the old med's get pushed to the back and the new one's went in front, I guess. What a slob. I found a package of hemorrhoid suppositories from 1999. I remember that year, it was painful. Maybe I was keeping all this stuff for posterity? It's like a scrapbook of our lives. There were 5 bottles of Visine. Ummm.. I have no recollection of having eyes problems. A can of some kind of Jock Itch stuff, with about 1/2 a spray left in it. 2 tubes of Polysporin that practically walked out by themselves. A jar of "Vicks" that had a fingerfull left in it. A package of mixed band aids, that only had the large band aids left in it, just in case you got stabbed in the middle of the night. I remember the last time I cut my finger, I had to wear this huge mother band aid till the bleeding stopped. Gawwwd I can't believe I have let things go for so long.
Then came the drawers. Makeup I haven't worn since the 80's were chucked. Dried out mascara, lipstick, old everything. Gone. I feel good, a new start. I already did my closets last week, you would not believe the clothes I have kept. Yes, some were hippyish.
I'm going to start on the basement next week. Then I am going to get the house painted. I just feel this need to get rid of all the old and start fresh.
It takes AN INCIDENT to wake you up.
Have a great week.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Hello
I'm afraid all my posts will start to be a little boring. I can't conjure up balonie ...she goes into hiding when times get rough. Douche bag! So, I'm left to my own devices.
I am finally getting back into the swing of things, and exhaling. Gord went for a check up yesterday with our family doctor (who probably got his degree on the Internet)I don't know, that man is so complacent it "unnerves" me...is that a word?
But, he is doing just fine. He just went for a little nap between 7:00-8:00 and 3 fucking telemarketers phoned our house...I am so pissed off, it happens every night and I am constantly answering the phone with absolute bullshit! Phone spam. There has to be a way to stop it. I might just get an unlisted number, because it is so out of hand we don't have a moments peace.
So, let's put this boring post to rest.
:)
I am finally getting back into the swing of things, and exhaling. Gord went for a check up yesterday with our family doctor (who probably got his degree on the Internet)I don't know, that man is so complacent it "unnerves" me...is that a word?
But, he is doing just fine. He just went for a little nap between 7:00-8:00 and 3 fucking telemarketers phoned our house...I am so pissed off, it happens every night and I am constantly answering the phone with absolute bullshit! Phone spam. There has to be a way to stop it. I might just get an unlisted number, because it is so out of hand we don't have a moments peace.
So, let's put this boring post to rest.
:)
Monday, March 05, 2007
He's driving me crazy
But, of course he is running scared and somewhat in denial. I have to realize that. I'm just not going to try to change the things I CANNOT, and leave the rest up to him.
I can't think of a more stressful time in my life. Thank God, for homemade wine.
Once he talks to the doc on Wednesday I think he will have the answers he needs to move on.
But, we had a break through today. I have been nagging him to quit eating nachos, and every unhealthy snack he eats throughout his day... Today, he took his stash out of the van and threw it in the garbage..right in front of me! He said that was enough of that. So, this might be a sign he knows he has to change his habits.
All I can do is hope.
I can't think of a more stressful time in my life. Thank God, for homemade wine.
Once he talks to the doc on Wednesday I think he will have the answers he needs to move on.
But, we had a break through today. I have been nagging him to quit eating nachos, and every unhealthy snack he eats throughout his day... Today, he took his stash out of the van and threw it in the garbage..right in front of me! He said that was enough of that. So, this might be a sign he knows he has to change his habits.
All I can do is hope.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Friday ...lord thankyou
I am exhausted. I will probably sleep through the weekend. Well, my version of sleep has been sleeping "with one eye open." My brain is on constant alert.
Gord went into the office today, and puttered around. There is no keeping him at home I tells ya!! He feels great. But, I don't think the full impact of this has sunk in. He is still in a bit of denial. And, that is where I come in and blow his bullshit theories all to hell. But in a nice way. A couple of days ago he said it must have been something about that "Mountain Dew" he drank before he came home. Ohhhh yeah..Mountain Dew will do that to ya!! But, I guess you search your mind for answers to anything that precipitated the event...but Mountain Dew?? give.me.a.break! He laughed about it later too, saying ..well, I thought about everything I never usually do, and I hadn't had a Mountain Dew for years, until that evening. It's funny how the mind works.
We are having toasted low fat pizza on a bun for supper. Blah, you say....no it's really good. We used to have it all the time, but then I got lazy and start ordering in.
Well, it's time to get the "buns in the oven"..heh...
See you Sunday!!
Balonie...
Gord went into the office today, and puttered around. There is no keeping him at home I tells ya!! He feels great. But, I don't think the full impact of this has sunk in. He is still in a bit of denial. And, that is where I come in and blow his bullshit theories all to hell. But in a nice way. A couple of days ago he said it must have been something about that "Mountain Dew" he drank before he came home. Ohhhh yeah..Mountain Dew will do that to ya!! But, I guess you search your mind for answers to anything that precipitated the event...but Mountain Dew?? give.me.a.break! He laughed about it later too, saying ..well, I thought about everything I never usually do, and I hadn't had a Mountain Dew for years, until that evening. It's funny how the mind works.
We are having toasted low fat pizza on a bun for supper. Blah, you say....no it's really good. We used to have it all the time, but then I got lazy and start ordering in.
Well, it's time to get the "buns in the oven"..heh...
See you Sunday!!
Balonie...
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
He's home!!
He passed his stress test with flying colours!! He said he could have gone another round if they would have let him, but I think he was bragging.
Penny was mighty glad to see him, because she was thirsty. You see, he is the keeper of her water bowl, and I never fill it. She hasn't had a refill since Sunday..OMG! Fortunately, her bowl is HUGE..and he always fills it to the top. When he got home this afternoon, the first thing he did was change her water...and ummm..it was empty. It's one of those silver bowls and you can't really see if there is water in it, and I never noticed in all my stressfulness. I was wondering why she was eating snow yesterday...GAWD I feel guilty. Poor Penny Loafer.
When he went in for his gall stone operation a few years back, the same thing happened, but Penny gave me a hint, she laid in front to the bowl and wouldn't get up! I have her stuff all in a little corner in our bedroom, because the kitchen is too small for doggy bowls, and I guess I didn't put on the light when I fed her and never noticed. Geez I feel like shit.
I just got back from the pharmacy after having his prescriptions dispensed. F*k...are pills make of gold? 4 different prescriptions...at the cost of 279.79!! Thank you God for my Blue Cross at work. They pay 80%..so it cost around 70.00 bucks.
He is having a little nap right now, while I'm getting supper going.
He is going to try to loose weight, and stop stressing about the little crap. So hopefully we can beat this crap. But...oh my god it's going to hard to keep him down. We almost got into it a few times today...because I was telling him he can't do this or that...and of course he shot back with his version...so I'm just going to keep my big yap shut and quit stressing him with my fears.....and maybe take a more proactive way of expressing my opinions.
I went to Safeway on Tuesday, and they have what I call "the widows bench" by the door, where the the old ladies gather waiting for the transit van to take them back the their homes or apartments. I couldn't imagine sitting there. I was scared.
So, maybe things will look up. I sure hope so.
Thank you all for your support.
balonie
Penny was mighty glad to see him, because she was thirsty. You see, he is the keeper of her water bowl, and I never fill it. She hasn't had a refill since Sunday..OMG! Fortunately, her bowl is HUGE..and he always fills it to the top. When he got home this afternoon, the first thing he did was change her water...and ummm..it was empty. It's one of those silver bowls and you can't really see if there is water in it, and I never noticed in all my stressfulness. I was wondering why she was eating snow yesterday...GAWD I feel guilty. Poor Penny Loafer.
When he went in for his gall stone operation a few years back, the same thing happened, but Penny gave me a hint, she laid in front to the bowl and wouldn't get up! I have her stuff all in a little corner in our bedroom, because the kitchen is too small for doggy bowls, and I guess I didn't put on the light when I fed her and never noticed. Geez I feel like shit.
I just got back from the pharmacy after having his prescriptions dispensed. F*k...are pills make of gold? 4 different prescriptions...at the cost of 279.79!! Thank you God for my Blue Cross at work. They pay 80%..so it cost around 70.00 bucks.
He is having a little nap right now, while I'm getting supper going.
He is going to try to loose weight, and stop stressing about the little crap. So hopefully we can beat this crap. But...oh my god it's going to hard to keep him down. We almost got into it a few times today...because I was telling him he can't do this or that...and of course he shot back with his version...so I'm just going to keep my big yap shut and quit stressing him with my fears.....and maybe take a more proactive way of expressing my opinions.
I went to Safeway on Tuesday, and they have what I call "the widows bench" by the door, where the the old ladies gather waiting for the transit van to take them back the their homes or apartments. I couldn't imagine sitting there. I was scared.
So, maybe things will look up. I sure hope so.
Thank you all for your support.
balonie
Monday, February 26, 2007
Things are looking up
My plow boy has just about got tubes and shit out of him. He is on his own now. We will just be waiting for the stress test on Wednesday to see where we are going from here. I am optimistic.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, you have no idea how much that meant to me.
He has been bossing me around all day today from his bedside this morning. So I finally had to get pen to paper to remember it all.
*Make a bank deposit
*Phone all the customers he had scheduled for this week, to tell them that he would not be able to do their service calls.
*Bring a clean pair of shorts on your next visit this afternoon
*Bring a toothbrush and toothpaste as well
*Tell the doctor I want to get the hell out of here NOW..ummmm..you tell him!
Just kidding, he isn't being unreasonable at all, but you can tell it's just making him crazy not being able to do things for himself.
Gord is know as "Gordy Good Guy" in our parts, and he is always the first person to be there when you need help. It's just his nature, he cannot say no to anyone. Even if you don't ask him. (therefore the heart attack sheez)..anyway I think by the outpouring of love he has received from his friends, neighbours and family, he will see that it has not gone unnoticed.
When I called one of his customers, I was so moved...she cried! She was sobbing on the phone and praying, while I was trying to keep my composure. When we finally started to talk, she told me that she had been a customer of his for 20 years and he was the only appliance repair person she could trust, because he was so honest. I told Gord the story after when I got back to the hospital, and I think he was almost moved to tears. There are so many fly by night crapola stinkers out there, that just take your money and run, and that is not how he operates...he gets the job done.
I haven't been able to eat for two days, but after talking to the doc, his customers, his family and my bro (who has gone thru the whole heart ordeal) .. I'm ready to chow down...
Now, if I could only get Penny off the couch that overlooks the driveway..waiting for her Gord to come home. I wish I could talk "dog" and explain it to her.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, you have no idea how much that meant to me.
He has been bossing me around all day today from his bedside this morning. So I finally had to get pen to paper to remember it all.
*Make a bank deposit
*Phone all the customers he had scheduled for this week, to tell them that he would not be able to do their service calls.
*Bring a clean pair of shorts on your next visit this afternoon
*Bring a toothbrush and toothpaste as well
*Tell the doctor I want to get the hell out of here NOW..ummmm..you tell him!
Just kidding, he isn't being unreasonable at all, but you can tell it's just making him crazy not being able to do things for himself.
Gord is know as "Gordy Good Guy" in our parts, and he is always the first person to be there when you need help. It's just his nature, he cannot say no to anyone. Even if you don't ask him. (therefore the heart attack sheez)..anyway I think by the outpouring of love he has received from his friends, neighbours and family, he will see that it has not gone unnoticed.
When I called one of his customers, I was so moved...she cried! She was sobbing on the phone and praying, while I was trying to keep my composure. When we finally started to talk, she told me that she had been a customer of his for 20 years and he was the only appliance repair person she could trust, because he was so honest. I told Gord the story after when I got back to the hospital, and I think he was almost moved to tears. There are so many fly by night crapola stinkers out there, that just take your money and run, and that is not how he operates...he gets the job done.
I haven't been able to eat for two days, but after talking to the doc, his customers, his family and my bro (who has gone thru the whole heart ordeal) .. I'm ready to chow down...
Now, if I could only get Penny off the couch that overlooks the driveway..waiting for her Gord to come home. I wish I could talk "dog" and explain it to her.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Very sad news
Gordon had a heart attack last night.
Fortunately we caught it in time as he is doing pretty good so far.
He will have to stay in the hospital until Wednesday, and then they will assess whether or not he will need an Angioplasty or have stent put in. I don't know if that is the correct terminology but I'm sure I will be hearing a lot of it in the future.
I don't think I believed until I just typed it now, it seems so unreal.
I'll catch up with you later, I'm just on my way back to the hospital.
Fortunately we caught it in time as he is doing pretty good so far.
He will have to stay in the hospital until Wednesday, and then they will assess whether or not he will need an Angioplasty or have stent put in. I don't know if that is the correct terminology but I'm sure I will be hearing a lot of it in the future.
I don't think I believed until I just typed it now, it seems so unreal.
I'll catch up with you later, I'm just on my way back to the hospital.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
King Ludwig 11 .. A love story
He was the King of Bavaria between 1864-1886. And these are his digs. The castle at Nueschwanstein in the Alpse. As they say in Bavaria.
I have a screen saver at work on my computer that I downloaded from Web Shots. All I knew about it was that it was a beautiful palace in Bavaria. Everyone in the office commented on it, so I researched it.
I found Balonies true love.
As you know she is a free spirit that comes to visit me now and again, but today I think I found her long lost love. I have been hoping for years to be able to find out why she is haunting me.
I congured her up today, and presented my findings. She tearfully admitted to me, that yes, Ludwig and her had an affair in 1880, and he was the love of her life. She never got over his drowning after being arrested 1886. And since, she has never been able to rest.
To be continued.......
Monday, February 19, 2007
The case of the "glove that healed itself"
I have a pair of gloves I love more than my dog.
Last spring after it got warmer, I put my gloves away in a secret place.
This winter I could not find my gloves.
Then one day, I found one of them on top of the freezer in the laundry room. Just the one!!! Was I expecting to loose an arm over the winter? I don't know. I left the glove there hoping that the other one would somehow find it's mate when I wasn't looking. It never happened. So, one day while I was doing laundry down there, I felt sorry for glove, and I threw him in my laundry basket and took him upstairs. I never saw him again after that.
Last weekend, I bought a new laundry hamper, and when I emptied out the old one, I found "glove." .. in the bottom corner of the old hamper. There was much rejoicing!! So in order to keep track of "glove" I put him in the closet on a shelf where I could see him at all times. His partner was still at large.
On Sunday, as I was trying to get all bundled up to take Penny for a walk, I found his mate on a shelf of the closet in the foyer. Again, with the rejoicing.
But, when I matched the two of them up, there was not so much rejoicing, because they were in pretty bad shape. The thumb parts had holes in them, and some of the finger things were coming apart! AWW!! But because I loved them so much, I took thread to a needle and sewed them back up. It wasn't perfect, but it would take me into spring until I could find another pair of gloves this cozy.
This morning, as I was stumbling around trying to get ready to head out the door for work, I grabbed my precious old gloves off the table by the door. And as I was driving into work, I noticed that there was nary a seam out of place. I was positive that I had mended them, and I don't mean that in a good way, because I just closed up the holes!!..it was a hack job. But, these gloves had no indication of being treated unfairly. I could hardly drive, I kept on looking at them .. and going "what the hell." When I hit a red light, I even took them off to see if I had mended them from the inside out so the hack job didn't show. Nope, they were clean as whistle......so, all I could think of was, that they were so happy to see each other,....they healed themselves.
I thought about it all morning, and couldn't figure it out.
Later, when I came home for lunch I noticed another pair of the same gloves sitting on the floor by the railing near where the other ones were. Well, sumamabitch...they were, my two wounded ones.
Okay, so, who's gloves am I wearing? Then a little light went on...Hippychick gave those gloves to me for Christmas two years ago, and she had bought a pair for herself!!
So, when she left here (in all her sobriety on Saturday), she left HER gloves behind, when she put them down on the the table by the door!!
The reason she never called me to retrieve her missing gloves, probably was.. she was flying out to Cancun Mexico at 2:00 AM after leaving here, for a two week vacation ..lovely, and I'm guessing she didn't think she needed them.
Fuck her, she is Cancun and I'm sitting here in Winnipeg freezing my vagina off... I'm wearing her gloves!! ...Mine look like shit!!
I am wondering how the hell my gloves look like such shit while hers still look like new?
Probably because she spends most of her winter in Cancun and I'm here in Manitoba... in the cold, trying to rebuild my transmission in my unheated garage. It's hard when you only have the cheap gloves she gave me for Christmas. That's why.
I wore her gloves tonight, when I split and chopped up an acre of trees. Now, her gloves will have a story to tell when she gets them back, and they will have a few holes of their own to show for it. I'm in stage 5 of self pity...I really want to be in Cancun.
Last spring after it got warmer, I put my gloves away in a secret place.
This winter I could not find my gloves.
Then one day, I found one of them on top of the freezer in the laundry room. Just the one!!! Was I expecting to loose an arm over the winter? I don't know. I left the glove there hoping that the other one would somehow find it's mate when I wasn't looking. It never happened. So, one day while I was doing laundry down there, I felt sorry for glove, and I threw him in my laundry basket and took him upstairs. I never saw him again after that.
Last weekend, I bought a new laundry hamper, and when I emptied out the old one, I found "glove." .. in the bottom corner of the old hamper. There was much rejoicing!! So in order to keep track of "glove" I put him in the closet on a shelf where I could see him at all times. His partner was still at large.
On Sunday, as I was trying to get all bundled up to take Penny for a walk, I found his mate on a shelf of the closet in the foyer. Again, with the rejoicing.
But, when I matched the two of them up, there was not so much rejoicing, because they were in pretty bad shape. The thumb parts had holes in them, and some of the finger things were coming apart! AWW!! But because I loved them so much, I took thread to a needle and sewed them back up. It wasn't perfect, but it would take me into spring until I could find another pair of gloves this cozy.
This morning, as I was stumbling around trying to get ready to head out the door for work, I grabbed my precious old gloves off the table by the door. And as I was driving into work, I noticed that there was nary a seam out of place. I was positive that I had mended them, and I don't mean that in a good way, because I just closed up the holes!!..it was a hack job. But, these gloves had no indication of being treated unfairly. I could hardly drive, I kept on looking at them .. and going "what the hell." When I hit a red light, I even took them off to see if I had mended them from the inside out so the hack job didn't show. Nope, they were clean as whistle......so, all I could think of was, that they were so happy to see each other,....they healed themselves.
I thought about it all morning, and couldn't figure it out.
Later, when I came home for lunch I noticed another pair of the same gloves sitting on the floor by the railing near where the other ones were. Well, sumamabitch...they were, my two wounded ones.
Okay, so, who's gloves am I wearing? Then a little light went on...Hippychick gave those gloves to me for Christmas two years ago, and she had bought a pair for herself!!
So, when she left here (in all her sobriety on Saturday), she left HER gloves behind, when she put them down on the the table by the door!!
The reason she never called me to retrieve her missing gloves, probably was.. she was flying out to Cancun Mexico at 2:00 AM after leaving here, for a two week vacation ..lovely, and I'm guessing she didn't think she needed them.
Fuck her, she is Cancun and I'm sitting here in Winnipeg freezing my vagina off... I'm wearing her gloves!! ...Mine look like shit!!
I am wondering how the hell my gloves look like such shit while hers still look like new?
Probably because she spends most of her winter in Cancun and I'm here in Manitoba... in the cold, trying to rebuild my transmission in my unheated garage. It's hard when you only have the cheap gloves she gave me for Christmas. That's why.
I wore her gloves tonight, when I split and chopped up an acre of trees. Now, her gloves will have a story to tell when she gets them back, and they will have a few holes of their own to show for it. I'm in stage 5 of self pity...I really want to be in Cancun.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
New rules for Attitude Adjustment Hour
click for a bigger pic.
Everyone is required to "blow before you go." Much to the astonishment of my Saturday nite motley crew, I made some rules. I can't seem to keep enough red wine on hand for my two girls, so I thought if I bought the home breathalizer kit, they might quit drinking all my booze. God knows, I can hardly keep up with my own consumption.
They treated it like a party joke. Neither of them took it seriously. Bitches. They seemed to take delight in trying to get it to go from to from "safe"..to "drunk." You see, they are former country folk from the 1960's and think none of the rules today apply to them. So, my plan backfired, plus that stupid thing cost me $20 bucks, which I could have used to buy another bottle of wine..FOR THEM.
They were quite amused and traded drunk driving stories from the 60's and 70's.
I was just trying to be the responsible host..and a cheap one because I thought they would actually drink less. Didn't happen. So,now what I have to do is make a shit pile of food for them, along with all the wine they drink to keep them sober. All and all, I am not winning. heh....I hope y'all know I'm kidding..I love them. And they don't get drunk...well they did blow "over".. But as kid's from the 1960's they said they knew how to handle their liquour, and the device was just a toy. Yeah!! But when they left it was at a safe level. They still laughted at it.
But, I have a plan. I am watering down the wine. Also, I am making snacks I know they don't like. Maybe they will get the hint and find the snacks and the wine at Chez Martinez are so dispicable they will have to bring their own. Hippy Chick contributes snacks every now and again, but I usually do it. And, if they bring their own wine, I won't be responsible for their actions...plus I will be a little richer. I want to make my $20 bucks back for the Alcohol tester!!
Sunday Night Supper:
Same ole cow. Back in the same ole pot. I wasn't feeling particularily creative in food management services today. So, I threw a roast in a pot, along with veggies and potatoes and gravy and called it supper. Someone should put me on a "time out"..I feel so lazy.
I spent the major portion of the day doing bookwork for Gord's business. It's that time of year again, while listening to a podcast of "Keith and the Girl." Those guys break me up!
I didn't call Special K today, liked I planned to, because I was too busy, so I don't know how she is doing with her computer.
So, it's time to wrap er up. I'm always tired after a week-end when I have to exorsise Balonie....she depletes all my energy.
Friday, February 16, 2007
It's me balonie...you know the evil one.
Special K is still having puter probs. I'm thinking I should phone her tomorrow and ask her if she wants me to "host" her blog while she is away. You know, just telling youse guys a Special K story or so, from my perspective.
I could have me some fun in there. Number one, I would change her template HAAAAA..Then I might play around with her "drawerings" on her side bar. Evil grows in my mind. I NEED TO GET HER PASSWORD! I have so many "smellus" stories I have concocted in my mind to share. I would have course have to take my dictionary with me to try to duplicate her extensive use of the English language.
I really think I could write a blog and nobody would know it wasn't her...except for the ellipes, my spelling and grammer errors, other than that ..bring it on.
Do you think I should call her? Maybe I shouldn't. She is probably so pissed off by now she might yell at me. But, I'm used to it...she loves making fun of us raisins, and I love making fun of young folks who don't have a computer. Hey little girl, we raisins have computers that work....you don't... hold on...I'm just ducking incoming fire here!!!
This is so unfair.....balonie!!! how the hell did you get in here? I apologize, she rears her ugly head every now and again. What did you say to Special K? ... and quit trying to minimize the screen!! you bitch!!
What the hell are you doin?... we are trying to run a proper blog here and you are all about the evil again. As I have said to you time and time again, get out of my head. I let you out for a few minutes; it was a calculated risk, but you crossed over and now I'm at your mercy again. HAAAAAAAALP!
Balonie: I am now in control of this blog. Joan is gone. Say your goodbyes and good ridence to bad rubbish!! She is a pain in the ass. Miss do gooder. Always says nice things in your comments. She puts up with that Gord she is married to for a lousy cherry pie. Lord, I'm going to the bank and am taking out all her money, and going to Veges. Because I have heard ..everything that happens in Veges, stays in Veges, and she will never find me or her money.
I might go to Graceland first. I need me some time to talk to the King. I trust his judgement before I extort her cash. After all he is the King. And.. this is the shocker.. I might be carrying his baby! Chances are I will name he/she Vivalasveges. Viva for short. I know it sounds like a name of a Ford car but sometimes the King speaks to me from beyond, and this is what he told me to do.
So, don't count on seeing "Joan" on here anytime soon, because she is like plaque on my teeth...crap on my toliet paper...and ...ooops I seem to be fading...damn it she just pointed a lazer gun at my soul.....I'll be back you bitch!!
I could have me some fun in there. Number one, I would change her template HAAAAA..Then I might play around with her "drawerings" on her side bar. Evil grows in my mind. I NEED TO GET HER PASSWORD! I have so many "smellus" stories I have concocted in my mind to share. I would have course have to take my dictionary with me to try to duplicate her extensive use of the English language.
I really think I could write a blog and nobody would know it wasn't her...except for the ellipes, my spelling and grammer errors, other than that ..bring it on.
Do you think I should call her? Maybe I shouldn't. She is probably so pissed off by now she might yell at me. But, I'm used to it...she loves making fun of us raisins, and I love making fun of young folks who don't have a computer. Hey little girl, we raisins have computers that work....you don't... hold on...I'm just ducking incoming fire here!!!
This is so unfair.....balonie!!! how the hell did you get in here? I apologize, she rears her ugly head every now and again. What did you say to Special K? ... and quit trying to minimize the screen!! you bitch!!
What the hell are you doin?... we are trying to run a proper blog here and you are all about the evil again. As I have said to you time and time again, get out of my head. I let you out for a few minutes; it was a calculated risk, but you crossed over and now I'm at your mercy again. HAAAAAAAALP!
Balonie: I am now in control of this blog. Joan is gone. Say your goodbyes and good ridence to bad rubbish!! She is a pain in the ass. Miss do gooder. Always says nice things in your comments. She puts up with that Gord she is married to for a lousy cherry pie. Lord, I'm going to the bank and am taking out all her money, and going to Veges. Because I have heard ..everything that happens in Veges, stays in Veges, and she will never find me or her money.
I might go to Graceland first. I need me some time to talk to the King. I trust his judgement before I extort her cash. After all he is the King. And.. this is the shocker.. I might be carrying his baby! Chances are I will name he/she Vivalasveges. Viva for short. I know it sounds like a name of a Ford car but sometimes the King speaks to me from beyond, and this is what he told me to do.
So, don't count on seeing "Joan" on here anytime soon, because she is like plaque on my teeth...crap on my toliet paper...and ...ooops I seem to be fading...damn it she just pointed a lazer gun at my soul.....I'll be back you bitch!!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The day after ...da ...lovvvvvvvvve day..
I'm still glowing. Only because the wicked Cherry Pie my Gord brought me to celebrate this most monumentous event. I made up that word. I think.
This was a pie to die for.
He paid $15.00 bucks for it. He almost buckled up when he got the bill, but then he realized I was worth every penny of it! Yes, me balonie, his valentine.
My supper for him, on the other hand, was uneventful. I tried to make my mennonite perogys...low cal. Nothing says shit like trying to use half and half instead of whipping cream for the gravy. Bad move. Plus the dry cottage cheese I got from Safeway, must have been fermenting in someone's crotch for a few days..gawwd..
Lesson learned. If you are going to make an ole family favorite, do it right or don't do it at all. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. So...I will do it all over again this weekend and make the real thing. I think the whole world has gone mad, because we feel so guilty eating the foods we grew up with. blahhhhhh
So for the next few nights we will be eating our way through that Cherry Pie, and loving every piece...along with some french vanilla ice-cream...so fuck the nay sayers.
I am so tired of hearing what we should eat....the media never stops. I try and try to make the right decisions to make sure we have all the food groups..but sometimes I wonder how the hell my parents got us through it all, when we didn't even know that broccoli existed! We never ever had cauliflower, we didn't have all those weird greens you see in packages in the store. We had peas, carrots, cabbage, beans, tomatoes, potatoes, and turnips (which I didn't like), but I do now, plus beets, and corn. Those were all our staples. And they still are the veggies we like, and we are not going to change. I don't mind a little of the other stuff, but I know what we like and what makes us feel good. Plus we like our salads too...and have them all the time.
It seems like we are living on another planet don't ya think?
This was a pie to die for.
He paid $15.00 bucks for it. He almost buckled up when he got the bill, but then he realized I was worth every penny of it! Yes, me balonie, his valentine.
My supper for him, on the other hand, was uneventful. I tried to make my mennonite perogys...low cal. Nothing says shit like trying to use half and half instead of whipping cream for the gravy. Bad move. Plus the dry cottage cheese I got from Safeway, must have been fermenting in someone's crotch for a few days..gawwd..
Lesson learned. If you are going to make an ole family favorite, do it right or don't do it at all. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. So...I will do it all over again this weekend and make the real thing. I think the whole world has gone mad, because we feel so guilty eating the foods we grew up with. blahhhhhh
So for the next few nights we will be eating our way through that Cherry Pie, and loving every piece...along with some french vanilla ice-cream...so fuck the nay sayers.
I am so tired of hearing what we should eat....the media never stops. I try and try to make the right decisions to make sure we have all the food groups..but sometimes I wonder how the hell my parents got us through it all, when we didn't even know that broccoli existed! We never ever had cauliflower, we didn't have all those weird greens you see in packages in the store. We had peas, carrots, cabbage, beans, tomatoes, potatoes, and turnips (which I didn't like), but I do now, plus beets, and corn. Those were all our staples. And they still are the veggies we like, and we are not going to change. I don't mind a little of the other stuff, but I know what we like and what makes us feel good. Plus we like our salads too...and have them all the time.
It seems like we are living on another planet don't ya think?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
V day
Have you had enough?
I'm not a mushy person by nature, so take it when when you can get it baby!
Gord and I are a "hot" item these days. He's got the waterbed cranked up to 90 degrees!! I knew that was going to happen. I still have my feather mattress on the bed, which is now holding in all the heat that eluded us with the unreliable waterbed heater we had before. I was cooked right through this morning, like a pig on a spit. And, there is too much water in the bed, I feel like I'm going to roll off at any minute. But, I totally screwed myself up on Sunday when we were filling the bed. When he took off all the hoses and the little "motor sucker" thingamajig, he made a comment "well, I won't put this back in my truck, because you will find a problem with the water level." WELL, that got my hackles up...and I went on.and.on....about him suggesting? I was a bitchy person. Finally he took all the equipment and put it back in the truck.
Okay ... either I have to admit I am a teensie weensie bit of a bitch, or I get the hose out and do it the hard way without the motor sucker thingamajig behind his back. I know how to do it, and I'm not sure he would notice if I took out a few gallons of water out at a time. So, this is a difficult decision. I have already turned down the bed to 80 degrees..let's see if he notices that tonight...and tomorrow, I might just start emptying it out a bit at a time. I cannot loose face. I must have Japanese blood. Sushi anyone?
Now, if my big mouth wouldn't have gone into high gear, we could have resolved this like grown-up's.... now there will be nothing but lies and deception. I can't wait....bring it on. I want to win.
If I get caught, I will admit to being a crabass. But until then, I'm taking the long way home..heh.
Tomorrow for Valentines day, I'm will make my "love" a special dinner. We haven't had homemade Mennonite cottage cheese Perogies for about two years. We will then partake in a side of baked farmer sausage along with thick cream gravy for the Perogies. A dish of fresh tomatoes will also accompany the meal, and then some bread to sop up the gravy left on the plate. According to the "Canadian Heart and Stroke Association," we will be dead by 9:00 PM.
What they don't know, is we will top that off with a slice of Cherry Pie...with French Vanilla Icecream, that my valentine brings me every February 14th. So, I guess we will have to squeeze that in before 9:00PM. Before we die.
On my death bed, I might come clean, and tell Gord that I took a few gallons off the waterbed, but I'm sure he will forgive me for my lying ass. He always does. That is why he is my choice of Valentine Man of the year!!!
Love ya Gord.. thanks for putting up with me...I know it's not easy...trust me .
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Waterbeds and Hammers
I like this new template. I don't say that too often, because most of the time I don't. I just crank em out. I like the primary colours on the header. Sorry, I haven't got it all together yet. I have been way to busy this weekend to get anything done on the computer, so it is still all half arsed.
On Saturday, I made an effort to get every last piece of dog hair on the carpets in my vacumn cleaner. I sucked this house dry. I was truly amazed at the amount of hair that had accumlated behind the waterbed in the last 3 years! There is only about 6 inches between the wall and the bed, but god all mighty...there was enough hair to make 3 puppies. So, I'm guessing all this sneezing Gord does ALL NIGHT LONG, wasn't because he was allergic to me. But even without the dog hair, I'm sure he is somewhat allergic to me. Ahem.
There was three rolls of toliet paper behind the bed in various stages of use, which had fallen through the bottom of the headboard. Gord always puts a roll between us at night, it's like a condem. And God only knows, why I didn't get pregnant the nights those toliet paper rolls fell down behind it.
Today, Sunday, was a challenge. Gord and I do not work well together. But as luck would have it..our waterbed heater has gone on the fritz. It's been a family job "to do" since the fucking Patio Block fiasco, and seeings it takes team work for us to acutally spend a Sunday afternoon in the house together. He has his shit, I have mine. So, with the temp's the way they are right now, we are freezing our asses off in the bed. The heater would work somedays, and the next..not so much. SO, his brother got us a used waterbed heater from ebay. Nuff said. But, couldn't we have just gone to the store and bought one? I wasn't to crazy about getting electical appliances on ebay... so I checked it out.. It looked like it wouldn't kill us, so I opted to put it in.
It's a big job emptying the bed, and I had to get some team spirit going this morning, without pissing him off. Apparently he does not know where anything is this house is located?????... HE LIVES HERE FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE!
Okay, nevermind...I'm calming down.
He went to the shop this morning to get a hose, to drain the bed. I had a hose in the house, but I couldn't find it last night when we were prepping for our family day together. When he came back he had this suction pump he uses to take water out people washing machines when they break down, and thought it would be useful to pull the water of the bed faster. But it didn't.
Then I found the hose we were looking for last night ...geez.. too late.
The hose attached to it was too small and was made for a small volume of water, so the motor on this thing was smelling to high hell...I thought it was going to burn out!! But, he had a brain wave, and attached the garden hose to it, and it worked perfectly. The bed was empty in about 1/2 hr.
Once the bladder was empty, and we took it off the bed, then we could see that the water bed liner had enough hair in it for another 3 puppies..it was gross. Just to let you know, we aren't gross unclean people, but we never expected this!! We have had dogs before, but they were poodles and didn't shed. So this was a real surprise.
I expected some skin remants...but all this hair. No.
Then we saw that the liner of the water bed had sunk below the bladder and it was all pulled down on the edges..it wouldn't have done a thing to pervent a leak. But... we didn't have a new liner, so we did the next best thing, we cleaned it all up and stapled it back up..holes and all. We are hoping if a leak does occurs the water will move to the bottom of the bed where the liner is still intact. Optomism? yes...shit for brains ..yes. But somehow we always still like to live a little outside of the law.
Finally when it came time to fill it up again, we had a difference of opinion on how much water to put into it. I like the water level a little lower, because he is heavier than me, and if it's too full, I feel like I'm laying on a piece of cement.
Yackity yack...back and forth. And when I'm not looking he fills it up way to much. (by mistake)...back in forth. Forth and back.
What I didn't tell youse guys was, when he was putting up the liner in the bed with the staple gun...I was the one right behind him with the hammer....just in case the gun didn't get the staple in properly. God forbid the bladder would get a sharp staple in it and then there would be a flood...and knowing our track record..there would be no ark in sight.
So, little miss know it all (balonie) kept hammering in the staples..just to make sure....and then she forgot to take her finger off the staple....and whammed her finger. so as I write this tonight...my index fingernail on my left hand is "blue." And throbbing. Gord finally took the hammer out my hand, "god bless him," and said I was my worst enemy...I am.
The bed hasn't warmed up too much yet..nor has Gord. So, I'm going to put on my parka and go to bed and cuddle up with Penny. I was just watching this really cool guy on TV singing in the Grammies...mannnnnnnnn he would warm me up in a heatbeat. I swear.... but alas..it's not to be.
On Saturday, I made an effort to get every last piece of dog hair on the carpets in my vacumn cleaner. I sucked this house dry. I was truly amazed at the amount of hair that had accumlated behind the waterbed in the last 3 years! There is only about 6 inches between the wall and the bed, but god all mighty...there was enough hair to make 3 puppies. So, I'm guessing all this sneezing Gord does ALL NIGHT LONG, wasn't because he was allergic to me. But even without the dog hair, I'm sure he is somewhat allergic to me. Ahem.
There was three rolls of toliet paper behind the bed in various stages of use, which had fallen through the bottom of the headboard. Gord always puts a roll between us at night, it's like a condem. And God only knows, why I didn't get pregnant the nights those toliet paper rolls fell down behind it.
Today, Sunday, was a challenge. Gord and I do not work well together. But as luck would have it..our waterbed heater has gone on the fritz. It's been a family job "to do" since the fucking Patio Block fiasco, and seeings it takes team work for us to acutally spend a Sunday afternoon in the house together. He has his shit, I have mine. So, with the temp's the way they are right now, we are freezing our asses off in the bed. The heater would work somedays, and the next..not so much. SO, his brother got us a used waterbed heater from ebay. Nuff said. But, couldn't we have just gone to the store and bought one? I wasn't to crazy about getting electical appliances on ebay... so I checked it out.. It looked like it wouldn't kill us, so I opted to put it in.
It's a big job emptying the bed, and I had to get some team spirit going this morning, without pissing him off. Apparently he does not know where anything is this house is located?????... HE LIVES HERE FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE!
Okay, nevermind...I'm calming down.
He went to the shop this morning to get a hose, to drain the bed. I had a hose in the house, but I couldn't find it last night when we were prepping for our family day together. When he came back he had this suction pump he uses to take water out people washing machines when they break down, and thought it would be useful to pull the water of the bed faster. But it didn't.
Then I found the hose we were looking for last night ...geez.. too late.
The hose attached to it was too small and was made for a small volume of water, so the motor on this thing was smelling to high hell...I thought it was going to burn out!! But, he had a brain wave, and attached the garden hose to it, and it worked perfectly. The bed was empty in about 1/2 hr.
Once the bladder was empty, and we took it off the bed, then we could see that the water bed liner had enough hair in it for another 3 puppies..it was gross. Just to let you know, we aren't gross unclean people, but we never expected this!! We have had dogs before, but they were poodles and didn't shed. So this was a real surprise.
I expected some skin remants...but all this hair. No.
Then we saw that the liner of the water bed had sunk below the bladder and it was all pulled down on the edges..it wouldn't have done a thing to pervent a leak. But... we didn't have a new liner, so we did the next best thing, we cleaned it all up and stapled it back up..holes and all. We are hoping if a leak does occurs the water will move to the bottom of the bed where the liner is still intact. Optomism? yes...shit for brains ..yes. But somehow we always still like to live a little outside of the law.
Finally when it came time to fill it up again, we had a difference of opinion on how much water to put into it. I like the water level a little lower, because he is heavier than me, and if it's too full, I feel like I'm laying on a piece of cement.
Yackity yack...back and forth. And when I'm not looking he fills it up way to much. (by mistake)...back in forth. Forth and back.
What I didn't tell youse guys was, when he was putting up the liner in the bed with the staple gun...I was the one right behind him with the hammer....just in case the gun didn't get the staple in properly. God forbid the bladder would get a sharp staple in it and then there would be a flood...and knowing our track record..there would be no ark in sight.
So, little miss know it all (balonie) kept hammering in the staples..just to make sure....and then she forgot to take her finger off the staple....and whammed her finger. so as I write this tonight...my index fingernail on my left hand is "blue." And throbbing. Gord finally took the hammer out my hand, "god bless him," and said I was my worst enemy...I am.
The bed hasn't warmed up too much yet..nor has Gord. So, I'm going to put on my parka and go to bed and cuddle up with Penny. I was just watching this really cool guy on TV singing in the Grammies...mannnnnnnnn he would warm me up in a heatbeat. I swear.... but alas..it's not to be.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
Huh?
I just noticed that all my blogger links don't work on my sidebar. Jeez Louise...what now??
I checked my template and they look okay...probably that damn new version of blogger screwing with me. So, I guess I got my work cut out for this weekend.
I did a very bold thing today. I gave my blog address to my cousin Tony. No one in my family has it except my two nieces and they know I am a little addled, so no worries...but I couldn't resist giving it to Tony. He has the "best" sense of humour and I thought he might get a chuckle out of it. He's is pretty old (I'm baiting him..in case he reads this). heh.. He is so old, he goes to Arizona for the winter. He lives in a retirement condo, with his wife.
He feeds the pigeons most mornings, and scratches his ass the rest of the day.
I named him Ton-yeah...a very long time ago. My Grandma used to have this immigrant lady who lived next door to her, and whenever she saw him, she would yell Tonyah!!! And it stuck in my mind forever. And I'm sure he wishes I would fogetaboutit already!!
I will pick up on this story tomorrow, but I have to call my brother tonight and have a chat with him.
I checked my template and they look okay...probably that damn new version of blogger screwing with me. So, I guess I got my work cut out for this weekend.
I did a very bold thing today. I gave my blog address to my cousin Tony. No one in my family has it except my two nieces and they know I am a little addled, so no worries...but I couldn't resist giving it to Tony. He has the "best" sense of humour and I thought he might get a chuckle out of it. He's is pretty old (I'm baiting him..in case he reads this). heh.. He is so old, he goes to Arizona for the winter. He lives in a retirement condo, with his wife.
He feeds the pigeons most mornings, and scratches his ass the rest of the day.
I named him Ton-yeah...a very long time ago. My Grandma used to have this immigrant lady who lived next door to her, and whenever she saw him, she would yell Tonyah!!! And it stuck in my mind forever. And I'm sure he wishes I would fogetaboutit already!!
I will pick up on this story tomorrow, but I have to call my brother tonight and have a chat with him.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Lube Job without warranty
Remember when I "overtalked" about my lame cold and flu at great lengths..now I'm doing it again with the weather.
Sue me.
It was SO cold today, some of my spinal fluid leaked out of my body, and I couldn't walk until I got an oil change, and a lube job. I was very surprised when I went to my doctor/mechanic and they asked me to get up on the hoist and lay face down...huh?
I laid face down as directed. So they could get to see all my parts... I guess.
As I was being checked over by my doctors/ mechanics, I could hear them making notes on all the work they might have to do on me.
Dave: Her transmission seems to be a little sluggish man...we can make her go in "forward," but we can't get her into "reverse." Balaji..what are you seeing at you end?
Balaji: I can see this woman has plenty of flesh, what are you thinking Dave, should we do some laparoscopic procedures...she's got lots of ummm fat? That could be making her sluggish. We could save some of it for our oil changes.
Dave: Balaji! Hold it man! That's against the law!
Balaji: Not in my country!
Dave: Okay, man..than just do it. It can hurt.
Balaji: Okay Dave, but I have to test the rest of her first, I see that her tires are bald and the nipples need changing. They don't seem to be holdin air anymore!
Dave: How many miles do you think she's got on her Balaji?
Balaji: Dave, I'm guessing 300,000 clicks. She is definately out of warranty.
Dave: OKAY...then we can charge her the big bucks!! What else do you see back there?
Balaji: It appears that her "rear end" needs a little work. I hear some grinding noises.
Dave: Man, that doesn't sound good! Looks like she's been around the block a few times Balaji.
Balaji: Dave, you should be down here, you should see her "drive train!!" It's missing a few cogs Davie boy.
Dave: Okay Balaji....let's bring her down, I guess it's time to give her the bad news!
Balaji: She's coming down Mr. boss!!
Dave: Balonie, do you know you are just about worn out?
Balonie: SAY'S WHO?
Dave: Balaji said you are.
Balonie: Davie, hon, "come a little closer boy", "and bring that chickpea sucking chickenshit idiot Balaji with you!"
Dave: Balonie, just keep your knickers on...
Balonie: I'm warning you Davie, alls I came in here for was to get my oil changed and a lube job, and you two "stumpholes" made it your beeswax to give me the "once over." If I would have wanted the "once over" I would have just looked in the mirror, you stinking little turds!!
Dave: It was all Balaji's idea!!!
Balaji: Ohhhh, Ms. Balonie, no need to be so upset...in my country we always check out our women on a hoist. First have to make sure they have all their parts intact, so when the wedding night comes, we know we are driving the right car.
Balonie: DAVE get out of the oil changing pit, I see you hiding in there and I'm coming after you.. you little grease monkey. BALAJI phone your wife, and tell her you will never have anymore children, because I just found the vice grip.
Dave & Balaji: ..crying like little girls: Ms. Balonie, don't hurt us, we were just trying to put you back together in good shape.
Balonie: Oh yeah, like you guys care! You knew my warranty was up, so you started to look for bigger problems....all I asked for was an oil change and a lube job, and I want it right NOW!
Dave & Balaji: Ms. Balonie, where do you want it?
Balonie: I. DON'T. KNOW. You are the experts!!
Dave & Balaji: (still crying like little girls) We don't want to touch you!
Balonie: Okay, you two pussies....give me a can of oil and a can of lube ..."to go"...and I will figure out where to put it, you stupid assholes!
Dave & Balaji: Ohhhhhh Ms...we are so grateful, it will never happen again.
Balonie: Damn right it won't. Okay, then...just don't tell "Ford", I was here, because as far as they are concerned I still have warranty, even though I turned my odometer back ... just a smidge. No need to tell them.
Dave & Balaji: Our lips a zipped. Just don't close us up in the oil pit again.
So....
I'm watching those two...and if the oil and lube doesn't work on my body parts, I'll be putting them back in the hole. Maybe not just me...I might get Andie Pandie to help. I hear she has some mean moves. And she don't take no shit.
Be afraid you two morons.
Sue me.
It was SO cold today, some of my spinal fluid leaked out of my body, and I couldn't walk until I got an oil change, and a lube job. I was very surprised when I went to my doctor/mechanic and they asked me to get up on the hoist and lay face down...huh?
I laid face down as directed. So they could get to see all my parts... I guess.
As I was being checked over by my doctors/ mechanics, I could hear them making notes on all the work they might have to do on me.
Dave: Her transmission seems to be a little sluggish man...we can make her go in "forward," but we can't get her into "reverse." Balaji..what are you seeing at you end?
Balaji: I can see this woman has plenty of flesh, what are you thinking Dave, should we do some laparoscopic procedures...she's got lots of ummm fat? That could be making her sluggish. We could save some of it for our oil changes.
Dave: Balaji! Hold it man! That's against the law!
Balaji: Not in my country!
Dave: Okay, man..than just do it. It can hurt.
Balaji: Okay Dave, but I have to test the rest of her first, I see that her tires are bald and the nipples need changing. They don't seem to be holdin air anymore!
Dave: How many miles do you think she's got on her Balaji?
Balaji: Dave, I'm guessing 300,000 clicks. She is definately out of warranty.
Dave: OKAY...then we can charge her the big bucks!! What else do you see back there?
Balaji: It appears that her "rear end" needs a little work. I hear some grinding noises.
Dave: Man, that doesn't sound good! Looks like she's been around the block a few times Balaji.
Balaji: Dave, you should be down here, you should see her "drive train!!" It's missing a few cogs Davie boy.
Dave: Okay Balaji....let's bring her down, I guess it's time to give her the bad news!
Balaji: She's coming down Mr. boss!!
Dave: Balonie, do you know you are just about worn out?
Balonie: SAY'S WHO?
Dave: Balaji said you are.
Balonie: Davie, hon, "come a little closer boy", "and bring that chickpea sucking chickenshit idiot Balaji with you!"
Dave: Balonie, just keep your knickers on...
Balonie: I'm warning you Davie, alls I came in here for was to get my oil changed and a lube job, and you two "stumpholes" made it your beeswax to give me the "once over." If I would have wanted the "once over" I would have just looked in the mirror, you stinking little turds!!
Dave: It was all Balaji's idea!!!
Balaji: Ohhhh, Ms. Balonie, no need to be so upset...in my country we always check out our women on a hoist. First have to make sure they have all their parts intact, so when the wedding night comes, we know we are driving the right car.
Balonie: DAVE get out of the oil changing pit, I see you hiding in there and I'm coming after you.. you little grease monkey. BALAJI phone your wife, and tell her you will never have anymore children, because I just found the vice grip.
Dave & Balaji: ..crying like little girls: Ms. Balonie, don't hurt us, we were just trying to put you back together in good shape.
Balonie: Oh yeah, like you guys care! You knew my warranty was up, so you started to look for bigger problems....all I asked for was an oil change and a lube job, and I want it right NOW!
Dave & Balaji: Ms. Balonie, where do you want it?
Balonie: I. DON'T. KNOW. You are the experts!!
Dave & Balaji: (still crying like little girls) We don't want to touch you!
Balonie: Okay, you two pussies....give me a can of oil and a can of lube ..."to go"...and I will figure out where to put it, you stupid assholes!
Dave & Balaji: Ohhhhhh Ms...we are so grateful, it will never happen again.
Balonie: Damn right it won't. Okay, then...just don't tell "Ford", I was here, because as far as they are concerned I still have warranty, even though I turned my odometer back ... just a smidge. No need to tell them.
Dave & Balaji: Our lips a zipped. Just don't close us up in the oil pit again.
So....
I'm watching those two...and if the oil and lube doesn't work on my body parts, I'll be putting them back in the hole. Maybe not just me...I might get Andie Pandie to help. I hear she has some mean moves. And she don't take no shit.
Be afraid you two morons.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Did you just see my weather pixie?
It's -31 and she is wearing a nice warm coat.
On Ellen's blog her weather Pixie..is wearing a sweater for God's sake!! And she only lives a few miles from my house. How did the Pixie Chicks get all befuddled?
If this is a weather related post you have been waiting for.. you are in luck!!
It is sooooo cold that:
** When my dog took a dump yesterday, it stood upright and froze on the spot. I'm not "shitting" you! I was watching her when she went out because is was so deadly cold, and when she did her business it stood straight up!! HAAA... And as dogs do, she turned around and was going to smell her crap, and backed up very quickly..as this turd was standing upright!! She looked at it very suspiciously, ..like that could not have come from my bowels. She circled it a few time and then got scared and ran back up the stairs to the door. She came in with frozen feets and furrowed brow, and later prayed for Global Warming.
** My Garage door opener no longer works. Unless you try to open it between 1:00PM and 4:00 when the sun hits it, and it will unthaw. In the mornings I have to hit the door opener button from the house, and run outside to help it up. And it creaks and groans...but so far I've been lucky. I'm waiting for the morning when I can call into work and say....I'm sorry boss, my truck is being held hostage in my garage, by electronics.
** Ice Fog...When I went to work this morning I could not see a thing in front of me. The exhaust from all the other vehicles created a haze which blinded me. When it gets this cold, there is no wind... and all the emissions from the vehicles stay where they are...right in front of you if you are following another car..
**When Gord got to the shop this morning he was going crazy. One of the tenants furnaces had gone out, his nieces car would not go into reverse..... blahhh blahh blahh...poor guy.
So..in this weather he had to get up on the roof of our building to unthaw the chimney with a propane torch to get the tenant some heat. Then later he had to go and figure out the problems with the nieces car. No wonder they call him Gordy .. Good Guy. Lord, he takes on way to much.
**We are caretaking our neighbours house next door while they languish in Palm Springs. As of yesterday, their garage door has also been frozen shut. This was our point of entry with their alarms system so we can't get in there house either. Their daughter just dropped off a key so now we can at least check to see if their furnace is working etc. gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwddamit.
Remember in October? When I said I was looking forward to winter. Fucking kill me. How stupid can I be? Nobody deserves this crap. And the weatherman says we will be in this cold snap for another week!!
I used to make fun of the "snow birds" that moved to warmer climates in the winter..but ya know.....it's looking a little tempting.
On Ellen's blog her weather Pixie..is wearing a sweater for God's sake!! And she only lives a few miles from my house. How did the Pixie Chicks get all befuddled?
If this is a weather related post you have been waiting for.. you are in luck!!
It is sooooo cold that:
** When my dog took a dump yesterday, it stood upright and froze on the spot. I'm not "shitting" you! I was watching her when she went out because is was so deadly cold, and when she did her business it stood straight up!! HAAA... And as dogs do, she turned around and was going to smell her crap, and backed up very quickly..as this turd was standing upright!! She looked at it very suspiciously, ..like that could not have come from my bowels. She circled it a few time and then got scared and ran back up the stairs to the door. She came in with frozen feets and furrowed brow, and later prayed for Global Warming.
** My Garage door opener no longer works. Unless you try to open it between 1:00PM and 4:00 when the sun hits it, and it will unthaw. In the mornings I have to hit the door opener button from the house, and run outside to help it up. And it creaks and groans...but so far I've been lucky. I'm waiting for the morning when I can call into work and say....I'm sorry boss, my truck is being held hostage in my garage, by electronics.
** Ice Fog...When I went to work this morning I could not see a thing in front of me. The exhaust from all the other vehicles created a haze which blinded me. When it gets this cold, there is no wind... and all the emissions from the vehicles stay where they are...right in front of you if you are following another car..
**When Gord got to the shop this morning he was going crazy. One of the tenants furnaces had gone out, his nieces car would not go into reverse..... blahhh blahh blahh...poor guy.
So..in this weather he had to get up on the roof of our building to unthaw the chimney with a propane torch to get the tenant some heat. Then later he had to go and figure out the problems with the nieces car. No wonder they call him Gordy .. Good Guy. Lord, he takes on way to much.
**We are caretaking our neighbours house next door while they languish in Palm Springs. As of yesterday, their garage door has also been frozen shut. This was our point of entry with their alarms system so we can't get in there house either. Their daughter just dropped off a key so now we can at least check to see if their furnace is working etc. gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwddamit.
Remember in October? When I said I was looking forward to winter. Fucking kill me. How stupid can I be? Nobody deserves this crap. And the weatherman says we will be in this cold snap for another week!!
I used to make fun of the "snow birds" that moved to warmer climates in the winter..but ya know.....it's looking a little tempting.
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