Since Gord came home from work today, we have experienced some really bad things and they just kept on getting from bad to worse. He brought home a CAN of FOAM, to spray under the side of the garage where the water was coming in this spring. He was wearing his new pants..that I spent 3 hours hemming yesterday, (because I am not a good hemmer...but I sure as hell can HAW...nevermind. I stayed away from him tonight, mainly because I didn't want to have Foam sex, nor did I even want to see what he was about to destroy. It only took 25 minutes before he was in the house with half the foam all over his NEWLY hemmed pants. You can't get that shit out!! He had it all over his hands, on his shoes and ...Unfortunately none on his mouth. Bad luck I say. Do think it ended there? ...nooooooooh.
He took off his NEWLY HEMMED PANTS.. and went to the kitchen sink and sprayed the spot with WD40. Well, I cook in the kitchen, and had food ready for supper while he sprayed this shit everywhere! I knew he was worried that he had fucked up his new pants...so he just kept on going on about having to get it out. I finally grabbed them out of the kitchen sink and brought them into the bathroom and let him keep scrubbing. But, what I didn't notice was he had brought out the "GOO GONE", and was putting that on the "huge spot" as well. Okay folks, we all know we shouldn't be mixing chemicals. It stunk to high heaven in there. I put on the fan and told him to get the hell out of there and I would see what I could do. I washed out all the crap and put them in the washing machine. There is still a spot on the pants that will never come out, and it's around his fly...it looks like he just had a Foam Sex. ALL BY HIMSELF. So, he threw them back into the washer again...just in case magic would happen.
It didn't end there...oh no..just before supper he donned his housecoat, and strutted out on to the deck, juice glass in hand, pointing out to where he had severed the tree limb yesterday, and patting himself on the back for his efforts. Then he noticed that we had some water in the light fixture that shines down from the deck onto the back yard. He climbed up on a patio chair, took off the lens, and all the water poured down his housecoat. Now, his housecoat, and pants are all in the same wash. No one could make this shit up...gawwwd.. Oh, just wait a minute, during all this crap, the smoke alarm down in the basement was making a beeping sound, and I knew it meant the battery was low. Before HE could get there, I raced down and removed it by myself, God only know what would have happened it he would have tackled that job. It was straight out of a Pink Panther movie..and if I would have had the moves, I would have been Kato...and punched his lights out.
"Monday morning you gave me no warning of what was to be" those mama's and pappa's knew what they were talking about.
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