Penny and I have been having a blast. Blast meaning I almost killed her with my new, mean, lean leaf blower machine. Gord has a gas powered one, but I'm hard pressed to actually getting him to use it. This summer has been so dry I can't get the forest to stop dropping it's crap in me deck. I have branches, gunk, leaves all over my patio table and deck, where I like to sits for a little quite time. So, I bought me "Big Bertha" ... and it's quite no longer. Nosiree.
I had two mishaps, on her first outing. First of all, I didn't realize how powerful it was. I was expecting it to blow softly and all ladylike because it wasn't "gas powered." Mistake. She is no girlie machine. When I got Bertha all connected and shit, I aimed it at the leaves on the deck. But, what I didn't notice was Penny was sitting on the deck amongst those leaves. I damn near blew her boots off!! HA.. She went flying down the stairs to safety on the lawn! Okay then, I realized I needed to hold on to the top handle ... Which I like to call the "aimer", which gives me more control of where I blow. (nevermind)
I powered Bertha up again, and she blew the leaves off the deck like a two bit whore. Match made in heaven. Now, I have two corner plant holders on each side of the deck with little bird houses that I nailed down on the railing, just to look pretty. Well, these bird houses were all full of leaves, and spider webs, so I thought I would take a short shot at them with BB (Big Bertha) Wellfortheloveofatwobyfour, don't you think I didn't blow the plant, and the birdhouse right off the deck!! I did! My beautiful begonia was laying on the deck and the bird house flew right off the end of the deck and landed on the lawn below. I looked around and wondered where Penny was, good lord, as I looked down from the deck she was standing a few inches where the bird house landed, with a very confused look on her face. The floor of the birdhouse was still nailed into the deck with huge staples gaping out of it, but the skeleton was at Penny's feet. I wasn't sure if it has hit her or not, so I went running down to the lawn and when I got to her, she gave me the "what in the fuck are you doing" look. I checked her head for nail holes, but nothing was visible. But I believe there will be a permanent "trust" issue between us.
Dagnabit..I can't get blogger to put up the pics...hold on I will be right back.
Before
BR>
After
I put the shell of the bird house back on the staples that was holding the house together, but I pity the poor devil that will want to nest in there.
I had the begonia hanging in a tree..as is pic #1, but the wind was taking it's toll on it, so I moved it to the plant holder, and then I killed it. I am a murdereress.
But, the best thing is I still have Bertha, and tomorrow I'm going to take her to the cul de sac and scare little kids.
So far this week has been the best. I am so relaxed I could turn into a puddle. For once, I didn't plan ahead and make unrealistic goals to do reno's etc. on the house etc. I'm sleeping in..and in..and in and letting the day go where it may, and it's paying off. The weather has been acceptable, and we just had a great thunder shower!! 5 more days of this I can handle.
No comments:
Post a Comment