Why I was never an English major.

I have great admiration for "Fussy" a blog that is so well written and funny and when I see her words I wish the words could be typed out by me. Writing well is the best revenge is her motto. I have failed her since I found her blog years ago...but that hasn't stopped me from typing out stuff that has been written with abandonment and without any real sense of structure.  Just off the top of my head stuff.   I have never bought one of her T shirts that say "writing well is the best revenge" because I don't want to lie.  I write from my heart and hope for the best. 

She doesn't seem as scary as all the other A list bloggers, she is pretty down to earth.

Tonight she wrote a blog  that was special to me.  She wrote words that I have been looking for forever.  Everyone is dying before I finished loving them.   I know how she feels, because I have a lot of unfinished business myself.

So thanks Eden.  It makes me feel better just to know the words.  I'm sure she never reads my blog, but if she ever does I hope she knows how much that sentence means to me.


OKAY....OFF TO MY NONSENSE:


I thought I would go through my blog for the past year and pick out a few sentences I wrote for each month. I was more than shocked at the numerous times I have used the word "Ass."  Seriously, what gives?  What is the obsession with hind quarters?  I must reevaluate my blog writing skills because this is down right repetitive and somewhat shocking.  I seem to have a genuine interest in the lower extremities.



January:


My surprise casserole tasted like ASS. Like a donkey's ass. It was edible, but KD and real food should never meet. I should have just made stew. Damit.




Dumb. But we never saw anything until after Christmas...when Gord once again jumped out of the bed and thought he pissed himself. Then we had a clue.... Clue and Clueless then came to a decision that there was a hole in their waterbed. Children of the sixties... scary. You never know when you are getting a flash back

On inspection day, Gord will open the door of the house, I will follow and kick him in the ass. On leaving the house Gord will follow me and kick me in the ass. Fair.




February:


That's all I got. Time to go and eat a chicken. Not squirrel ... can't catch that bastard.


What is your name: Joanie Balonie
What is your real name: I SAID Joanie Balonie!..okay it's Joanie Balonie full of macaroni...are you happy now meme? jeez.




March:


You could make a nice roast with the big guys rump.


Bill Gates, I got you in my sites. Don't you move sucker. Nah...s'not Billy's fault.... just a FATAL ERROR. and my Libra side says....okay be nice ...but my dark side still says shoot the bastard.




balonie....taking time to make your life a better place.



April:


So, what's up with me? Not to much...just waiting until the end of the month. I'm looking into taking some courses this summer. You know the old lady shit. When I retire, such as synchronized farting.

Just when you are trying to be funny, it comes back and bites you in the ass.


Every time I write that I feel like peeing.






May:




She was facing my ass.


I could have spit on her.


Balonie...is going to blow some smoke up a few asses around here. Now that's she's got a few minutes of time.




June:

I think retirement is making me a little ..err crazy. I am enjoying fooling wildlife. I think there is something wrong with that.


They gave me strained smiles.




Update: I am still painting Gord's shop. Downdate: He is pissing me off.




July:




Hopefully there will be fresh piss and shit for you to smell ... little one.


So, here we are at Monday again, and I can't figure out what new thing to do. I think might draw whiskers on my face with my eyebrow pencil. I'll let you know how that goes.

I was a dumb fuck. Seriously.


August:


I thank all the family who came over last night for Attitude Adjustment Hour....... and gave her the cheese when I told them not to give it to her. I have saved the shit and will put it in a zip lock bag ....and they will all see it again at Christmas. I will rename it..Joan's Tootsie Roll Delight. I might even add some nuts. It will in their Christmas stocking.


Oh look, I have two legs. If I put one foot in front of the other I could walk to the store.

I am sitting on the cusp. And it's making a dent in my ass.


September:




I need someone to blow some good vibes up my ass....or I will never make it up those stairs.


I fried my feet.

 I slipped right out of her car. Like a floppy old fish

Why did I think they would be pretend doors? Because I'm stupid, that's why. It hurts when you try to walk through them.



October:




Sometimes I want to reach up to him and wring his stupid neck...and say...go left you asshole.....but I let nature take it course.   I'm cool with that.



I really wish Gord would get friends that had better taste.


....I know I'm such a dink. 


November:




I find it really weird that people who are retired get up early.




But I have been screwing around with laundry day...even if it means ..ya gotta wear the old panties in the bottom of the pantie drawer that don't have any elastic left in them...yes I get wedgies...and sometimes they fall down in my sweat pants...but they are clean. I have to admit that sometimes I don't realize they have fallen down until I want to climb the stairs...and my legs seem to be a little shorter than I remembered.




....but I think you could tie this pizza to the boots of someone in the mafia...and sink him.




December:


So I'm guessing we have to pray to a higher power...because this guy does not give a hairy rats ass.


I remember it was  a Tuesday, you know the day that Elsie got her toe removed.  Or was it a Wednesday?  Well who the "F" cares weather it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday...get on with it. 

Ho Ho...Merry Christmas to me. 

Happy New Year to all my friends!

The day after the day after the day of ................

A picture of the girls with the hats Auntie Joanie gave them.  It's kind of hard to see because they are black.  But they loved them...or so they said.  Nahhh they like em. 

I have other pictures of  the other kids, but I dare not put them on here because ... some people have rules about publishing pic's of their kids.  I will respect that.  oop's I almost said Anal.  Nevermind.

Yesterday I found a digital camera card in the snow while I was coming out of Safeway.  I picked it up,brushed off the dirt and snow and stuck it my purse.  When I got home I put it my camera to see if I could find any indication of the owner. It was a 4 gig card and there was a lot ... I mean a lot of pictures in it.  I went through most of them and figured it was a Phillipeno family who lives here in Winnipeg. The first  pictures were of a very sick older man with his wife at his side in the hospital.  Lots of them as he seemed to be going through some kind of procedure.  Then you saw his casket....and then the funeral and after that the commemoration at his grave.  And after that there were hundreds of pictures of family etc.  Graduations, summer activities and so much more.  I felt so bad they had lost this.  I'm not sure if they had downloaded the pictures to there computer and not deleted them from the card or not.  I only had one clue on the pictures that they belonged to a Las Pinas Association here in Winnipeg.  But I couldn't find it in the phone book.  So today I emailed our local "talk radio" station CJOB and asked for some help in locating the owners. 

I hope someone comes forward if the station does broadcast it.  If not, I'm sitting here with Grandpa and his last days..  very sad. 

balonie

What the heck?

I just had 4 very wholesome teenagers at my front door.  When I went down to answer the door I thought they were late carolers.  When I opened the door, all four of them tried to give me pamphlets and wanted to know if Jesus was my savior.  I was astounded, I stood there for a moment and didn't know what to say.  I felt intimated.  The leader of the group would not let me get a word in edgewise....she wanted to KNOW if Jesus was my saviour.  I said sorry it's none of your business.... I closed the door.  She said Merry Christmas.......well hells bells...They had badges on their jackets indicating they were from some kind of Holy Faith group...but so what.  Religion is a very personal and private part of my life and I sure don't want to be discussing that with you at my front door.  It all looked surreal...if I would have continued the conversation they would have probably tried to convert me to their church...or maybe sell me some Rachael Rae pots and pans.

Crazy...

Well Gord's family was over yesterday.  We had the lasagna dinner.  It was crappy.  I burned the garlic toast...the salad was sloppy....Trifle dessert was good because my niece made it.   I hope I can do better next year.  Everyone was in my kitchen....which is very small and it makes me very nervous.  GO AWAY people and let me do my stuff.  Gord was the worst offender because he decided that the lasagnas were not warm enough and kept on putting them back in the oven .....when I needed the oven to make the garlic toast.  By the time we got the fricking lasagna on the table I turned the oven on high...and burned the toast............

Then last night I had acid reflux for the first time.  Holy moley that hurts.  I woke up with this hot crap in my throat and thought I was going to choke.  I had too much rich stuff to eat last night, which I am not used to...plus that "Trifle" which I ate just before going to bed.  oy oy.  A couple of Rolaids's did the trick, but I never will eat crap like that again.  I put way to much cheese in the lasagna.  Three kinds.  And lots of it.

The kids had a great time again.  Except this year their favorite place "the rec room" was empty because we have stored it all away.  That meant they had to "be in our space."  I had to kick them out of the waterbed twice...Nothing good can come from two teenagers and 3 smaller kids jumping on a water bed.  We know that from last year when the old mattress sprung a leak.  It's funny how loud they can be while each of them was staring at their I pods...everything is soooo funny at their age.  AND LOUD. 

I bought the oldest girls fur "Fargo" hats for Christmas and they loved them.  The little one's were so jealous...so we decided from now on Auntie Joanie will be the hat buyer at Christmas for all the kids.  That will make it easy and yet so much fun. 

A free greeting card by Smilebox

Wishing all my readers the very best of the season.

That little fella up there represents part of me.  I have had this on my hard drive for years and years and always fall back on it for some reason.  It's a little pixilated already from so much use.. but it makes me smile.  He has so much joy and love in his movements.  This was once an animated picture as I remember and he skated up and down that rink a hundred times....or maybe it wasn't animated and I just made that up in my head.  I can't remember, but let's not go there.

It's like "old lady speak"..... I remember it was  a Tuesday, you know the day that Elsie got her toe removed.  Or was it a Wednesday?  Well who the "F" cares weather it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday...get on with it.  Yup I'm getting there.  Dates are becoming more important to me than those I am relating them to. When you see your friends eyes glaze over while you are trying to remember exactly what time and date an event took place ... you know...it's time to shut the hell up. 

So I choose my words carefully.  And sometimes I forget.  So, if I have forgotten who the hell cares. Not me. I won't remember.  Funny how that works. 

I thank everyone who comes around here to read my crap.  I wish you all the best of the season. 

Joan  xxxx

I put a candle in Santa's hand and he backhanded me

I love this guy, I have had him for about three years now.  He seems to always be looking at me even when he is down in the basement storage area in summer.  I think he keeps me honest.  Sometimes I go down there in summer and give a squeeze...because he is so cute.  He is about 3-4 ft. high. 

This year I bought a few battery operated candles and put one in his little plastic hand...and it fit. Then he started to fall... and hit me on the head. Perhaps I did not anchor him correctly...but for a guy that can ride a sleigh and guide reindeer...I didn't think I would have to prop the guy up...I know he is about 5 million years old...so I dusted him off gave him some milk and cookies and we had a good talk about what is is wrong with THIS world.  We talked about politics, and all the diseases we have...heart, cancer etc..... and you want to know what Santa said...."shit happens"....So I'm guessing we have to pray to a higher power...because this guy does not give a hairy rats ass.

See that floor lamp behind him?  I bought two of them to flank the wall unit in the living room.  They are so cool.  Best of all are the lights that shine up from the top of them and it gives more light in a room that has a catherdral ceiling ...without any freaking pot lights!!  That will never happen again in the new house.  I'm tired of living in the dark.  They will also look good in our new house too. 

I am all ready for Christmas...this has never happened before....I'm getting bored.... I just have to go grocery shopping and get all the stuff for the 26th. when all Gord's family is coming over.  My family won't be able to make it until a week later, because my SIL takes care of kids in crisis.  This is her first year doing this.  She has always had a day care centre in her house but gave that up two years ago.  Now she decided to work with Child and Family Services to take care of little children when they are removed from their homes.  They will be "on call" throughout the Christmas season and never know when the police and Child Care Services will bring them children in need of care.

I cannot say how impressed I am with her and my brother. It takes special people to take care of others.. Yes, they get paid for it...but they also love the kids and try to make there stay with them a special time.

So I'm looking foward to it all ..whenever we can get together. 

To my blogger friends....
"It's Always Something"....this is my gift to you.

I always try to stay in touch. 

Balonie...Greetings from the other side.

Suck it up buttercup....

I have started a vacuum fest in my house.  La dog has been going into her last molt for the season and is almost done.  This has caused me some grief because my vacuum cleaner broke. It was one of those upright kind where you can see your dirt and you have to empty it yourself and see the filth your rugs have produced.  I don't like that.  I like the ones that had bags and you are totally oblivious to what is in there.  I love living in denial. 

I have a central vacuum system in the house that I haven't used for years because the hoses kept on getting twisted around while I tried to vacuum.  It did a wonderful job, but the hoses where so big and I kept on tripping over them and damn near killed myself.  I got a regular one last year where you can actually see your dirt.  It was made of plastic I think...it wasn't cheap either, but the plastic parts broke. It's good for nothing now.

Gord said he had a vacuum cleaner at the shop that "he had found in the back lane."  He said it was the same kind that we had that broke.  Stupidly I believed him.  This is the guy who will pick up anything off the street that flies off the back a half ton truck.  He brought it home yesterday.  It weights more than an elephant. Or a ton of concrete...or .....  It's an upright...which is okay, but I have a ton of stairs and levels to clean here man....I would need a fork lift to go from one level to the next.  By looking at it I would assume it is an industrial vacuum cleaner.  I tried it, it works fine if you don't mind the noise.  By noise I mean a high pitched noise that almost brought me and Penny to our knees.

Two down....last ditch effort was the old central vac.  It worked, didn't blow your ear drums out, but it still was a very good "sucker."  All I had to do was to make sure I didn't trip over the hose and the cord that plugs in a wall unit to keep the vacuum head working.... You see...you have to watch two things while using this ancient piece of crap.  Imagine the hose and the cords in a small hallway. How does one NOT get tripped up eventually?  I knew it was going to be sooner not later, but I keep on sucking up the dirt.  Then when I was almost finished the hose got twisted and it stopped sucking....of course I took the hose and started to shake it all about to get the kink out of it....which in turn hit my glass side table and turned it over...then when that went flying it hit my plant and broke off some leaves.  

 Ho Ho...Merry Christmas to me.   

Wanna see my Beaver coat? I wore it to Safeway today and no one tried to kill me....and yeah a picture of my new...yet slightly used teddy bear housecoat with a hoodie... 

Nobody was at  home to take a picture of me wearing this. So you have to imagine my head on top of it.

Spell check said I used the word Vacuum way to often.

Balonie...giving you Greetings of the Seasons...

The end of an era

My niece Lisa said that today on facebook when she saw that we had thrown out our two Lazy Boy chairs. It's kinda of funny because they are older than she is.  They are a part of her history with us.  I feel kind of bad for them.  They are sitting out in the front step topped on one another and laden with snow.  Man, if those chairs could talk...oy what a story they could tell.  They were our comfort zone every night after work while watching TV.  Also they saw and experienced every pet we had.  The cats loved them because they were heated plus they were made of some burlap material that make cats want to dig their claws into them and they did....the sides were messed up.  When we first got the chairs it was so funny... we used to have to be so careful to watch the foot rest if we had it elevated..because ten to one...there would be a cat under the chair..and when we would put it down....yup...trapped cat!  I don't know how many times we heard a MEOW....oops "what in the hell are you doing under the chair." 

Yes those chairs saw and heard alot.  Our happy days and our really sad days when we lost so many of our loved ones.  This is where we would gather to discuss how we would go on.  Plus through every life crisis we have had. We sit in the chairs and discuss our next plan of action.  Lately it has been the new house and I don't think the chairs got it....they never saw it coming...they just thought...omg more bullshit they will never leave here.  When Gord was putting the new chairs together last night I was thinking...hmmmm I hope they don't get wind of their replacements....or by morning we will a chair fight on our hands....but they went  gracefully .... beat up, full of dog hair, beer farts, and sentimental memories.  Bye Bye youse guys...we promise not to make any memories with the slack assed chairs we bought.  The chairs we bought are just cheapies so it won't look like we still live in 1980's...when we sell the house.  We will be able to use them in the new house but in a different capacity. 

We sat in the new chairs last night.  They swivel.  And the back goes so far down you can almost sleep in it. While I was swiveling and making myself dizzy...Gord was sleeping.  We know how to have a good time.

Buh bye...I love you chairs....but I have to go now...

The new chairs and ottomans look like they have Donald Duck feet.  Or an upside down ceiling fan.



Hang in there

I just made some changes to my template...and it's making me mad.   Nevermind I love messing around with it.  But yikes this template is getting on my last nerve....
Bye...

Penny Loafer

I went to Petland today to buy Penny her Christmas presents....and what did I see ... a lovely little puppy jacket that just matched her colour.  It looked a little big...but I thought she could probably grow into it.  Ummmm she is 11 years old.  Yeah..I know.

It was a really sweet one.  Some of them are so complicated and the dog gets pissed off before you even start to get them into it. 

I also bought her favourite squeaking egg balls for her Santa Stonking.  Yes Stonking.. When I was a kid we wore stockings in winter.  They were brown as I remember but what I can't remember is how we kept those suckers up.  Probably jar rings or something like that.  My mom always laughed at me because I could not say stocking....it came out stonking. So when I got Penny 11 years ago I have put up her stonking every Christmas ...and called it just that...stonking.  She knows exactly what I mean when I say it and glances over to her stonking beside the fireplace hooked up to the stair case going downstairs. 

When I got home from shopping she was crazy...she could smell I was at the pet store....so I opened up the bag with the doggie coat in it, but before that I hid the egg balls...because they make her go nutz. 

I put the coat on her.  It has a lot of Velcro tabs...etc.  and finally we were done and I noticed that this coat was made for a dog about a foot longer than her...even with her tail extended.  Penny is very laid back and I can do almost anything to her except cut her nails ( growling there).. so I just tucked that back stuff up.  It was a little bulky ... I agree.... but after all this tucking and fucking around............ she could not walk. None of her legs worked.  She did manage to get to the patio door and out on the deck....and it then was over. 

She sat on the step...and gave me the "big eyes."  "Mom help me feet's they can't move not ever..ever...and I got a big freaking pile of crap on my back.  She would not move.  I think the Velcro made a few squeaks when she tried and then she just gave it up.  It was so pathetic.  So I took it off of her.  And she ran down the stairs like the devil was chasing her.  Free at last!

So, that's 50 bucks I can spent on myself this Christmas... I don't think it will buy me the I Pad was drooling over at Future Shop.  I swear I was fooling around with it for half an hour.  And then they called security.  How did that get in my purse? 

I have a 25 dollar gift certificate for Future shop.....that would pay the taxes...let's see if Gord buys that. 


Balonie is scheming .....

I do not own a housecoat

I bought the best housecoat evar...today at our neighbourhood Salvation Army Store. I never have something to throw on if someone rings the doorbell before 10:00 AM LOL......yeah I'm joking...sort of..

 It has huge teddy bears on it....a  hoodie, and a zipper in  front for fast action when someone rings the bell....and huge pockets in it for carrying all my pepper spray if it happens that the people that are ringing the door bell are of the Jehova ilk.

It's the best housecoat ever.  I may never get dressed again before lunch.

Baby it's cold outside

Went over to the job site to see what had happened over the week and was crazy happy.

A picture I took from our living room window.

The front entrance on the left and the dining room to the right.

The great room ..Isn't it great!

The back of the house....kitchen will be on the right.

Damn you just can't beat this.

I am one lucky girl. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself this is really true.



I decorated my new house with my computer

I had so much fun playing with this today.  I added some garland, animals, trees and snowmen to the mix.  Click to make it bigger.

The house is looking much different already...the insulation up over the walls, and tomorrow the shingles will be probably be put on the roof. 

And look at that deer poop...jeez..where is my shovel?

They were putting the windows in today

The new front door.  It hasn't been stained yet...but it will be a rich brown colour.  I surprised one of the guys working in the house as he opened the door.  He is hiding in the back.

That is the four car garage nestled in the back...I didn't get a good angle on it.

OMG... my porch!  there it is.  I had to fight a lot of fights to get it...and I got it.  I must have been a Southern Belle in another life.....I'm going to love it so much.  I already have ideas how to decorate it for next Christmas. 

This is truly the best.  It is so hard to imagine what you want on a piece of paper ... and with the help of my dear friend and designer hippy chick and Gord's dream of actually doing it....it looks like it's going to be just what we wanted.  I am very very happy. 

I had to laugh when the framer guy ...helped me in the house ...again... it was kinda steep.  He had some questions about the windows for me, and said as we went in..."don't mind the mess."  Ha...just like he lives there...I will soon be saying that too. 

Shingles are coming up next week.  A little piece of paradise.

Her she is.....

I'm not to sure this will make any sense. But this is my new house.  If you can see it. The 4 car garage is lined up in the back of the property .. out of the way from the front of the house.  So it's a surprise.  heh ..

Those blogger bastards removed my flat tire...........

I vill be bach..........

I have been shopping for a sink for the island kitchen

I found it.  I love it. You can see it here  http://www.frankecanada.com/productdetail.php?prodid=299&node=10&group=53&lvl=3

I didn't want another double sink like I have now...or have had for a trillion years.  I like how open it is for doing big jobs like pots and pans without that centre piece of the dual sink getting in the way.  Plus it's pretty and a little more shallow than the norm.  It's an under mount sink and will look really good with the granite in our kitchen.  It also has a cutting board with a drain tray for veggies etc. that fits over the left hand side when you are not using it to bathe little babies!!  You could!.   Our double sink has always made me mad.  I usually keep a cutting board on one side and only use the other side for washing stuff etc. Ever try to get a big pan in there?  Impossible.  In the olden days when we didn't have dishwashers .... yes that other side of the double sink would have had some use for rinsing dishes and putting them up on the cupboard to dry.  But now, I just use it as extra counter space to dice veggies. 

I am sure everyone out there has there own ways of how they use their kitchen and how they cook to get maximum efficiency of the space we are dealt with.

I know Gord doesn't have clue.  He keep poking his nose in my business.  Hey, I don't question the shit he knows about...so don't be messing with mine. 

I know a few of you of you were wondering about the kitchen window from what I said in the last post....I did respond and you might not have gone back to see what I said.  So I will just try to explain it.  All the kitchen appliances, cupboards, small office area,& counters are lined up in one area. Then a about 5 feet or more from that is the large island with the sink in it.  With more cupboards below etc.  So instead of looking out over my sink in the kitchen like I have now...I will have a 3 huge windows to look on to while I chop my broccoli.  It's hard to explain but once we get a little further with this this I hope you will approve. I could never live in a kitchen without a window....being a somewhat former feminist that is all I ever asked for.. a window in my kitchen and a dog in my bed.

Two days worth of snow

Crazy isn't it? More coming this afternoon. 

Moody

I'm in the mood with all the snow...and I put up my kitchen Christmas lights today.  Just a thing I do every year around the window by the sink.  I irritate my friends because they think it is tacky.....I know they don't say it...but I know they think it is not tasteful.....heh why do you think I keep on doing it?  I love it.  I spend 90 percent of my life in there anyway.  So there.  And I don't take them down until February...haaaaaa on them.  I won't have a kitchen window in the new house....but I will find a place for my little strand of brightly colored lights to annoy them.

I don't understand why some people don't like colored lights.  Everyone nowadays wants the bland white lights.  I fell for that last year when I got a pre-lit Christmas tree and it broke my heart.  The tree looked stupid.  I gave the Christmas tree away to a family that didn't have one last week when I was getting all of the stuff out of the basement.  I'm pretty sure they didn't care about the lights...they wanted the tree for Christmas.
 My home now...and my new home...will be forever...the following.
I will never be the one that tries to make my house look like a magazine cover.  My  house will always be real.  And ... no you don't have to take your shoes off at the door either.  You will always know that when you come to my house you will feel welcome and not intimidated because it is new..unless you have deer shit on your shoes!!  It will be a home just like we have except newer.  Where you can park your ass. Have some good food and talk. And oh yeah..wine..lot's of that.  Yes we will have coffee and tea should you request that...

I used to do a lot of entertaining  but as the years went by and with working full time it all went to shit.  I still had family suppers here....but it was hard when I was working.  I am really looking forward to this year...still in this house to make the last Christmas suppers.  The one where we have to drag our older 93 year old Tante  Tina up the stairs...I hope she lives until next Christmas. It will be smooth sailing...because we won't have any stairs. She loves her Baily's Irish Cream....big time...and I love her too. Tanta....hang on........one more year...I want you to see the new house.  Tante is a pistol.  She is so vibrant and it's just like talking to your best friend.

Balonie..taking a bathroom and pizza  break...

Holy moly

It's been snowing for two days straight.  No let up.  Gord slid into a steep ditch this morning coming back from the new house.  It's a rural area...so we have ditches. With all the snow he didn't see the fall off point when he pulled off to the side of the road to let a pack of snow plows through.  The ditches are really steep and there was so much new snow you couldn't discern where the edge was.  He called me around eleven AM and asked me to bring our truck and pull him out.  Ever the optimist.  Holy crap.  When I got there his van was pretty much sitting on it's side.  A guy with a half ton offered to help...so we got a tow rope on it...but the van kept on tipping sideways when he pulled on it.  It's heavy because he has all his parts in the back.  So we got a tow truck and they winched it out.  I have never seen them do this and it was very interesting how it was done.  You always wonder how tow trucks upright semi trailers or anything on the highway that has flipped or slid in at an angle.   

I now have a new respect for tow truck drivers.  It is an art.  The guy goes under the van...at a 90 degree angle in the ditch full of snow trying to hook up the winch.  I'm yelling...Tow truck man don't do that the van will fall on you. Tow truck man...reminds me that the van will fall the OTHER way...and not drop on top of him.  Okay, so I back off with my suggestions. Plus Gord was giving me the "shut up" eye.  Geez I was only trying to help.

So I got back into my truck, obviously my help was becoming somewhat of  hindrance plus it was sooooooooooo cold I needed to heat my feet. Slowly but surely he got the big ole van back on it's big tires and on the road. 

That winch thing is so cool.  I could have taken pictures..........

I had my camera in my purse...but apparently I took out the battery for charging...no wonder is was so light. SOB I am my worst enemy.

Happy Thanksgiving to my US of A friends...you are the best...balonie will fight to the end to get you a president you finally can agree upon.  If she can't do that...she will write letters to your government ..but you don't want that...you would be living in Canada.

The early bird gets the deals.

Phew...all this snow at once.  I think we just got caught off guard with the late autumn.  More today, I thought it was over yesterday...but nope.

Tomorrow I should receive my very first Old Age Pension cheque.  well...fudge... how did it come to this?  Getting something for nothing just because you are a "raisin?"  ...as my old friend Kat used to call me.... is perplexing.  How will I ever get to use the "early bird" breakfast specials for seniors at all the restaurants?  I don't get up until ten, then shower and get ready for the day and by that time I need some coffee...and fart around on the computer ... and by that time it's time for lunch.  Missed the early bird! 

I find it really weird that people who are retired get up early.  Good lord...we did that for umpteen years of our lives being slaves to the clock...why now?  Some would say, balonie you are wasting the time you have left laying in bed snoring your last days away...I say...bullshit.  I have never felt so stress free as I do now. Even though we are in the throws  of building a new house and all the crap that entails.... my shoulders aren't clenched, every stupid thing is not such a "big deal" .... I no longer have to "fit" things in and take time off from work to accomplish what needs to be done during the daylight hours of 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM. I no longer need to squeeze every ounce of Saturday and Sunday into a weeks worth of stuff that needs to be done at home. 

This is still a learning curve for me because I still haven't learned how to do everything at a snail's pace.  Saturday is still cleaning day to me.  I seem to need deadlines for motivation.  But I have been screwing around with laundry day...even if it means ..ya gotta wear the old panties in the bottom of the pantie drawer that don't have any elastic left in them...yes I get wedgies...and sometimes they fall down in my sweat pants...but they are clean.  I have to admit that sometimes I don't realize they have fallen down until I want to climb the stairs...and my legs seem to be a little shorter than I remembered.

Sometimes I miss the pace.  But right now with building the house everything has come to a perfect balance. 

But I know shit will come to shove before the house is built. It's going to be something we never experienced before. The builders are very helpful...even though I know they think we are morons.  Hey, what do we know?..

The snow blade is back on my truck for a few days because we are expecting MORE freaking snow later this week.  I sort of like driving around with it on because I see people looking at me like I'm some tough old broad...digging out people's driveways, and drinking rum at the bar after a night of heavy lifting.

This year for some reason I am really looking forward to American Thanksgiving.  I used to think ...wow those guys push two huge holidays together in such a short time!  .. nothing good could come of that. You probably only want to see most of the extended family once a year...and now you have to do it twice in just over a month...fuck...I would have a hard time with that.  But what I do like is that here in Canada everything changes in radio, TV etc.  after your turkey is eaten.  It becomes the season..which lasts until the new year.  I used to think...those damn Americans...don't they know you shouldn't put up your Christmas tree until 2 weeks before Christmas?  OR YOU WILL BURN YOU HOUSE DOWN.  Now I know you all have aluminum or fake trees...sigh...I was worried.

My mom would  not put up the real (artificial had not been born yet) tree until two weeks before Christmas ...because she said "you would get tired of it before Christmas." Or "it will be dead before Christmas"...she who always put an aspirin the tree stand when watering it because it would live longer.  We probably were the only people in town whose Christmas tree did not have a headache.   Who the hell ever got tired of a Christmas tree before Christmas...the glowing lights and the anticipation of wearing stockings on our heads..oops placing stockings by the chimney with care... eating Japanese oranges, candy canes, and nuts that weren't available to us at any other season. The anticipation of gifts and getting together with our grandparents and cousins was exciting.

Yes, after Christmas it got rather old ... but only after the new year. Then it was time to kick by brothers ass and get on with the next year...soon it was time he was old enough to kick mine...then Christmas became complicated heh! ...

Memories...good times. I will try to conjure up some more over this season.

It's been a day

I forgot to turn the kitchen TV off when I was taking this video...so turn down your speakers....

I haven't stepped out of the house once today...except to shovel this shit.  I forgot what a pain it was.  I think it must be something like child birth...you forget how much it hurt until you have another one.

The snow plows haven't been out yet in our area...so it's pretty messy with everyone on the cul de sac blowing snow off their driveways. 

I feel kind of sad now that I see all the lovely snow on the cedar trees that we won't be putting up Christmas lights on the trees in front of house.  It always looked so beautiful.  But, they have been packed away for their  new home. 

Remember my post about trying to save money by only going grocery shopping once a week?  Screw that.  I always need something.  I should change the name of my blog from It's Always Something...to I Always Need Something!  I was getting a little nervous tonight because I didn't want to drive in this mess just to go to the store....because I needed something!  Well, after sifting through the cupboards I found all the makings of a pizza.  A pretty weird pizza...but I had flour and all the requirements for the crust.  I made a homemade crust....then discovered I didn't have pizza sauce...so I used "A taste of Asia" mild chili sauce for the base. Then I found some Turkey Bacon in the freezer cut it up and threw that in...with some onions, green pepper and some frozen shrimp I found in the freezer a well.  Nice big fat shrimp. Covered it up with some low fat mozzarella cheese and threw some pineapple tidbits on top.  I haven't made it yet because Gord's got stuff to do tonight...but it will be ready when he gets here...whether he likes it or not. It weights a ton.  Most of it...is crust..LOL.. The crust recipe said it was for a thin crust....but I think you could tie this pizza to the boots of someone in the mafia...and sink him.

My attempts at making homemade dish cloth's is coming to a close.  As much as I love to crochet I have learned that I have no patience.  None.  I follow the patterns....then think to myself...how can I do this without it being so boring...and I change it up.  This goes on for hours...until unravel the whole mess and start again....while the dog is looking at me....with her beautiful brown eyes....and giving me the " what about me" look and we go out to play...and by the time I get back I have forgotten the pattern I had in my head to begin with. 

It's a strange life I lead now. Motivation seems to be pretty much at standstill.  But we are still very busy with the house building and getting this house in shape for selling.  I'm still working on the third level...almost got that done.  Then next week up to the 2nd.....the living room... which only needs dusting and windows and curtains cleaned.  Then up to where we live the 1st. level.....computer room, TV room, master bedroom, bath and kitchen. I have done a ton of stuff up here already....but the cupboards need to be oiled....along with all the window sills and baseboards....it's daunting....I put it off all.the.time.  I would rather be sitting at the computer ... or making up ridiculous crotchet patterns that never work.


balonie...taking her glass of wine to another room..

New sparkling snow..........

The snow is just starting to fall.  We should have a few inches by tomorrow.  And a few more inches by the weekend........and let's just wait for a mother of a Colorado Low...to blow in and take away all the lovely soft white snow and blow into drifts and then give us a real snow storm.  Yup, that's the norm.  Can't fight it...you have to join it. 

I really can't wait until tomorrow morning after it has been snowing all night long.  BECAUSE...I don't have to go to work tomorrow morning as I did in previous years.  This was my worst day of the year because you had to dodge stupid drivers on the way to work who had forgotten what it was like to drive on icy roads. I was always late that day because everything was backed up. Most times it snowed during the night and you couldn't time it in the mornings before the alarm clock went off...and then you had to scramble to get out of the  house fast enough.  I never have to do that again.  That makes me so very very happy.  Nobody is giving me the stink eye when I get in the office late on the first snow day or any other snow day.  Now I am going to enjoy the snow in the mornings knowing I don't have to "white knuckle" it up.  After a week or so we get used to this shit...and they sand the streets...and all is well.  .

So, tomorrow morning.......this girl is going to sleep in and watch the snow from her bedroom window...with no place to go.

Lookie who I found.........

I still love you Angel Man!

Just checking in

Not to much going on in the building site.  They have the roof on so if it starts to snow ... which will be any day now it will be good.  Everything else is set for winter building...so it shouldn't be long now before the windows are put in.  I was really hoping for more progress, but there is building mania going on in Winnipeg, and the trades are very busy.  Fortunately we are still experiencing high resale values for our homes we are trying to sell and the economy is great.  I have been a little lax in getting the house ready for resale...I still have two or three major things to do........every friggin thing seems to be taking a dump....

First the bi fold door to our utility closet fell off......all the plastic brackets suddenly ...said to each other...when Balonie opens the door the next time....let's collapse.  And they did. The house is 27 years old and nobody has these brackets anymore for the door.  And yes, I interneted it. Perfectly good doors...with broken plastic brackets to open and close them with.  huh.... Our Microwave bit the biscuit a few days ago...whaaat's going on here?

 I am contemplating getting all the carpets cleaned....the last time I did that the carpet guy slipped down the stairs...lost control of his machine and made a big hole in the wall...so now I have a carpet machine of my own.  Gord bought it a few years ago and we never used it.  I just took it out of the box yesterday.  OY.... that looks like a lot of work!  Our carpets are getting older and some of them especially in high traffic areas are getting a little wrinkled looking and I am scared if I get them cleaned...or if I do it myself  they will be screwed up big time.  The living room and all the bedrooms and hallways down on the other levels are like new I am not worried about them.  It's just this little space we live in on the third  level of our house that  holds our bedroom, kitchen, TV room and office that is kinda ugly...yet acceptable. 

Man it will feel good to live on one level. A Bungalow built for two.  No more stairs.  As much as I hate this house for all the stairs...I love it.  It's so attractive with the vaulted ceilings and the different levels.  Now it is the time to give it to some family that has the time and energy to enjoy the all the rooms...and the back 40. 

Hey I have some  vintage 80's stuff to get rid of if you are looking for a deal.

Balonie....getting ready to make  the Friday Nite homemade pizza... It's always a crapshoot...sometimes it's  good...sometimes it tastes like ass. I love to keep Gord guessing.

Going to the house tomorrow

My friend Hippy Chick who designed the house and I will be at the site tomorrow. I can't wait until she sees what she had designed...or maybe she might not like the changes we have made.. whatever... it was mostly her vision through us. Changes are inevitable.  Unfortunately we only have access to the house on one really tiny plank going in the back door.  The front is now being framed for my porch and is closed off.  I don't know if we are young enough to walk that plank.

Counting of some really young good looking  "Framers" on getting us in the house.

"Can you carry me?"  heh

More pics then.

Part of the living room

I hope I'm not boring you guys...but I am trying to make a record of the steps in building the house.  I was going to take more pic's but my card was full and I needed to take off a lot of other pictures..damit. More to come if you are interested.  I am getting really excited now.  See the Evergreen Tree off to the left...wouldn't that look nice lit up at Christmas...however, I would have to get a crane to do it.  It looked so different inside than I imagined from the drawings. And yes even better.  That centre piece of plywood you see is where our TV entertainment unit will be and to the left where the plywood goes up will be a three sided fireplace with a half brick wall seperating the dining room from he living area. So you can see the fireplace when you come in the door, in the dining room and the living area. Kind of hard to explain. 

I will be at the job site a lot in the next few weeks and give you the low down.  I'm so happy.  Usually something bad comes around when I get happy, so I'm trying not to get TOO happy.

Off to have a roast beef dinner.

Did the shopping

I was going to use a cart instead of a basket so I could put all my goods in it.  Well here in Winnipeg you need to put a quarter in the cart to go in the store..because some people like to keep these carts for ... I don't know... looking like bag ladies...anyway..  Well, do you think I had .25 freaking cents in my purse? NO.  I would have if I would not have just come from the Library where they charged me a 1.30 late fee for the return of my books...bastards.  One day late.  Yeah I know.  I should keep some money tucked in my shoes. 

I was sitting in the truck at Safeway looking for a quarter.  I cleaned out my purse, then I started looking under the seats....and finally I remembered ..hey I have some coin in my "drink keeper thing"  where I toss in small change.  I found a quarter. Holy moly was I happy, because this was supposed to be a new journey for me.  Note to self:  keep more than a buck on you.  geez...

I made a menu this morning of next weeks meals.  Then put a grocery list together.  I checked all my cupboards and fridge beforehand and made sure I was not duplicating anything.  So far so good.  But I forgot about tonight..I guess we will have to order Pizza...oh my how did that happen?

Now just let's see if I can stay out of the stores for an entire week.  It's getting embarrassing because I think some of the staff think I work there.

I am keeping track of my spending on the Excel spreadsheet I made today ... plus I made a menu thing on it too.  It's fun being back on excel ... just like the good old days when I was working.

Food for thought.

Lately I can't put up a post to save my life.  I may have lost my mojo.  AGAIN. 

I seriously have rethink how I spend money and do my grocery shopping.  I never do a big shopping trip.  Mainly because it is to exhausting to carry 30 bags of groceries up a flight of stairs (remember we live in a 4 level split)...and I have to carry them up from the first level to the kitchen.  It was just easier after a long day of work to stop in the store and buy what we needed for supper.  Yes, I had all the staples but I still needed veggies and meat and stuff. So...that became a habit....stop in the store after work pick up bread, milk, etc. and whatever was going to be supper.  And before you know it you have stuff everywhere...in the freezer, fridge...leftover this and that.  When I am in the store I can't remember if we have for example...noodles for the dish I was going to make....so I buy noodles...only to find when I get home WE HAVE THREE PACKAGES OF NOODLES... and this goes on and on. 

Right now, I have 3 packages of egg noodles, 2 packages of lazagna noodles, and1 package of spagetti noodles in the pantry.  I have two bags of basmati rice, one box of brown rice, one box of white rice, two packages of processed type of rice, and 1 can of wiild rice in the pantry.  I always under estimate the "sides" I have on hand when I am in the store. 

Normally we just have soup and sandwiches for lunch, so I always have to make sure that is on my list.  I don't like to buy processed sandwich meat...but sometimes I do because there is not always leftovers from a chicken or a roast beef from the day before. 

This week I am going to change my ways and do a full grocery run.  I know it's going to be crazy, but I am going to try.  Ten bucks says I will come out with more noodles.

I am so sick of this shit.  I just wish we could go out and eat at McDonald's already...but that is not in the cards.  We try to eat healthy but sometimes I just run on empty.  I feel guilty buying a frozen pizza for Friday night pizza suppers because I can't figure out how much grease is in it compared to what I would make homemade.  I know mine is healthy, but sometimes I just want someone else to take over.

I would like some nice greasy fried chicken ...with the skin on it.....baby back ribs.....with onion rings, a nice juicy steak with french fries....you know the drill.  Just once.  I might have to try one of them and get it out of my system.  I don't even care if I have to cook it....I just want it.

Meanwhile I am going to the store tomorrow and buying the boring stuff with a real cart. instead of the hand held one.  Like a grown up.  I got my shopping list in hand. But I know I will probably change it up and then realize when I get  home I don't have what I need to complete the meals.  Old habits die hard.

Balonie has probably been messing with my head again...do you have a head of lettuce in the crisper that is just this close to being toast?  I do.

My new header does not seem to be working

Just checking in to see what in the heck is going on.

Eleven is still haunting me

I think I wrote about this a long time ago.  I will wake up and and my digital clock will be at exactly 11 minutes after the hour.  When I was working it was always 7:11AM ....probably because I needed to get up at 7:30, but now it is all over the map.  Always 11 minutes after the hour!  It's kinda scaring me.

In the last few months it has been really crazy...and I've started to NOT look at the clock when I wake up.  Two weeks ago it was 2:11AM. ...then 4:11AM ... the 5:11 AM then 6:11AM...not all in the same night. The one that really blew me away was 11:11PM not long after I had gone to bed.

What's up with this shit? I wake up, see the clock and go right back to sleep, but it's disturbing.  Now when I wake up and see it's close to 11 minutes after the hour I put my head under the covers and make sure it not close enough to 11 minutes after the hour and try to go back to sleep or just wait it out.

I sleep well, and don't always wake up on the hour.  Just sometimes..and when it happens I just go...WTF!  Is this an omen? 

I guess I will have to turn the clock around so I can't see it when my peepers peep open during the night.  Butttttttttt... I think I would be curious enough to know what the time really was and turn it around again.  BUT by that time it would be 12 minutes after the hour, and I wouldn't really know if this was a true or not.

What's up with this?

Balonie....keeping an eye on the freaky clock.

Just a peek

Hello....this is our new house.  I will take you through it once the "framers" are gone and I can get a better view of what's gonna be going on here. It's very scary and very exciting at the same time.  It's a total learning curve when dealing with a builder.  So far we have had a very good experince but you have to make sure you are not asking for more upgrades that what was allowed to you.  Granite is a killer in the kitchen and bath..  We just found that out ....Good grief they are expensive...... Plan B.. Plywood..

What happened?

Did time just stand still?  No....balonie is still alive and kicking.  I thought working for the man was hard...this bullshit working to get my house ready for selling is kicking my rear end.  I know...getting rid of stuff is boring and sometimes hard...but the garbage guys are getting a little annoyed at my efforts.  Who knew two little people like us would have collected so much junk.  I have been donating as much as I can to the Salvation Army and Value Village, but I still have so much other stuff that has to go. 

My house never looks cluttered..........because I have everything packed away in closets..etc.  Well today I emptied it all out...and it is all gone.

We just took down a shed Gord had for storing "his junk in the back yard " this weekend...and last weekend we took all his junk from the garage into a trailer!  I don't know where that junk will go to yet...but by God it's gone.

This is stressfull.  I was hoping to live here until we died and let someone else sift through our belongings. Ha....shame on me...that wasn't in the master plan.

I have never been a person that really likes food.  I eat to survive, but last week when I was in Safeway I was introduced to the "Laughing Cow" ...processed cheese product... on a  green pepper cracker.  Holy shit....I loved it.  And yes I know processed cheese is not that good for you.....but it is so buttery layered on the little cracker.  So smooth..and they gave me a coupon. 

Geese

The flight path is right over our house.....and every evening there is a one little bugger that can't quite catch up.  He's at the end of the "V".  He quacks and hollers...but all the other seasoned geese just ignore him.  Sometimes it looks like they are trying to ditch him.  Then they fly in a different pattern to get into the lakes in the next block.... and he doesn't get it....then he flys around looking for them.  HEHAW HEHAW...he is screaming...looking for his team mates.

Sometimes I want to reach up to him and wring his stupid neck...and say...go left you asshole.....but I let nature take it course.   I'm cool with that.

Thanksgiving day weekend

Here in Canuckland.  We have the best weather ever.  I have been outside all day everyday for a week and next week will be the same.  Last year we had snow.  I have been putting off cleaning the windows, so I will do that this week.  For me that means aim the hose at the top floor windows and try to get them clean, and scrub the lower one's.  Then go inside and see all the shit you missed on the outside. 

We don't do much for Thanksgiving...I'm just making oven fried chicken with fries, and cream corn.  It is so hectic with having to start moving out of this house.  No, we aren't selling yet, but getting ready.  And ohhhhhhhhhhh my god the crap.  We bought a huge trailer to start moving Gord's stuff out of the garage and sheds.  HORDER. 

I have been busy crocheting dish cloths.  ... and scarves....for my SIL's B.Day.  I made a nice soap holder to scrub up with as well.  Will somebody give me my old life back?  I'm turning into a freaking old lady.  I know I got more in me, this is not my destiny.  

It can't be...but if it is....I haven't explored all my options.   Balonie will show me the way.

Leave it to Beaver

A friend of Gord's and mine came over to his shop last week and dropped off a Beaver jacket.  Yes sir, it is real Beaver.  And he told Gord to give it to me for my birthday because his wife will not wear fur.  Well fuck me. I don't have any REAL problems with it...but yes, some ...like I don't really like wearing the fur of an animal but I will wear a leather jacket.  This shit could go on forever.

I now own a Beaver jacket.  It fits.  It's a little ole lady like, but could be retro cool. Looks like brand new. It weights 9000 and twenty pounds.  Do I dare go out in public with a REAL beaver on my back?  Peta people will aiming there paint balls at me.   I will have to get a beaver tail attached to my ass to warn off the rest of the Beaver wearers of their impending doom.

I really wish Gord would get friends that had better taste.  Polyester comes to mind.  Never had a polyester pair of pants that made people mad. 

I am all birthdayed out

65....goodbye.. it's over.  Gord gave me a "come and go" party of sorts on Saturday...after I specifically said I did not want one.  I don't like attention pointed at me....I know I'm such a dink.  But it was good.  My SIL Sheila took care of all the party stuff and all I had to do was be 65.. 
So I got drunk....kidding....Just a little.....I was overwhelmed when I saw the people that came, all my family and Gord's family and our neighbours......yikes.  Who knew all these people cared about me. 

Balonie.....going...yeah thanks for the flowers.

Thanks for your good thoughts...

Thanks for the good thoughts....I appreciate it.

Who wooda believed I would be 65....when just yesterday I celebrated my parents 65th. birthdays. 

Time fucking flies. 

When I was a kid...it stood still... I couldn't wait to grow up.

I blame it on Gidget. She got my hormones going.  The rest is history.

Countdown...one more sleep

And it will be official, I will be an OLD FART.  It's freaking over.  Someone call the old people police. Halp!  My friend Roberta sent me this card.  On the inside of the card it says "If you guess "C" you are correct! (But something tells me you've played this game before.)...heh...yup many times before.  But I was struck by  the likeness to my friend Poolie who darts in and out of here some days.  I tried to find a picture of her in her blog...but she's not on blogger and I couldn't figure out the achieves in word press.... or wordstock... whatever these old hippies use. But it looks like her. 


One more sleep and I will have been out of the chute 65 years...lord it's been a long time.  I need me some ribs a side of fries, coleslaw..and bottle of wine.  Then take me home and put me to bed.  The rest of my life is going to be a piece of cake....ohhhhh cake...let's not forget the cake.

Balonie ... shaking off the fungus... and looking forward.

Toe nails

Years ago I had problems with my toe nails.  They started to get hard and brittle, and I thought it was old age.  I remember my parents using an axe to cut theirs, so I thought this was just another one of those things!!  Finally about two years ago it got really bad and my big toe nails started to get so thick I could not cut them.  The nails on my other toes were all twisted and weird looking. I couldn't even buy regular shoes because the pressure on the front of the shoe would hurt my big toes.  I have lived with this for many years just thinking it was old age.  My toe nails were always a little brown looking and very brittle. 

Well guess what?  After being off work for almost 6 months my toe nails have made a lot of progress. I have almost no pain in them...and they are getting back to normal.  I can see where the brown line starts and stops on all of them 6  months ago.

I had a heater under my desk for years and years.  I had a desk by a window in  winter and ran the heater all the time because it was cold.  In summer my boss put the AC  up so cold I used the heater then too. 

I fried my feet. 

My toe nails are starting to get pink and thin again.  I no longer have pain in them...........and I can now buy shoes that don't have open toes.  I'm thinking about some styling leather boots... I thought that part of my life was over... I had to wear old lady shoes...

So there you go...

Count down to  year 65.......October 1st. 1945 when I was born.  My mother said it was in the early morning.  I will post every day until I hit this landmark. And yeah I think I was pretty cute. An I am pointing at you.