Friday after work I went to Superstore to pick up a few items. I parked the big horking/honking/RV/SUV/Old fartmobile/don't come a knocking while this van's a rocking machine, about three blocks from the store entrance.
Why?
Because I need the room.
I went in and diddled around for a awhile, and got what I wanted, I needed, and didn't need. Unfortunately I passed the $1.00 bins. I needed clothespins. After all I hang my wash out on the clothesline all the time. Or I could use them to clamp my nose when I have a cold. You never know when they will come in handy. I also bought a multitude of plastic items with no possible use.
After I finished shopping, I took my cart back to my van. Nothing out of the normal took place. I punched the "Unlock" button on my remote door opener. The horn started to honk! It wouldn't quit. I was taken aback. Whaaa... what the shit is going on? I was positive we didn't have an alarm system. Did a thief break in and install one?..needless to say I was flabbergasted. I started walking around the van to see where the noise was coming from. Eventually I figured out it was coming from the horn. Duh! I don't know why I didn't try to open the door again. Yes, I know why, because I had just pissed my pants and was scarit. Finally, a few people start to mill around my larger than large RV. One man said "did someone break into your van?" ...and I said whallaaalaballabingbang, whilst shaking in my boots. He said, lady, I don't understand the language you are talking. I said, I don't know, but the horn won't quit honking and I don't have a burglar. You don't have a burglar?, he said..I said yes, I don't have a burglar. More people started to mill about, then one lady said, why don't you open your door with the key and see if anything is missing. I don't have a key I just have this remote thing. And when I pressed the unlock button the horn started to honk and the doors stayed locked.
She took my set of keys, and said...I think I know the problem. You see this red button in the centre of the keypad..it says "Panic"..you must have pressed that instead of unlock. Sure as god make little green apples, when she pressed it the horn went off. I have been driving this miserable bastard for two years and never even knew it was there. Press it once for "on" press once for "off." For theloveofmymiserableexistance....I thanked her profusely, and tried to get the crowds to disperse. How in the hell did I miss that. Now, that I think about it, it's a very handy feature. When I get in the van, I will press it, to scare ducks away.
Shit, I'm stupid.
On a lighter note, well it couldn't get lighter than that, my hippy chick girlfriend came over for AAdjustment hour last night, along with the rest of the cast. We were all just settling down to a long Winters chat, when she said, do you want to hear something funny? Ahh, yeah, but it better pretty funny! She is the one who had breast reconstructive surgery and gained a brand new tit. In order to gain that tit she had to have a piece of her stomach skin removed to remake it. They take a few inches of skin from the belly to make the breast, and then they sew the belly back together stretching it back together. She has to be very carefuly of her belly now, because it will take time for the skin to stretch. It has now been almost a month and she noticed yesterday, that she had pubic hair growning up right close to her belly button....LOL...they pulled it up from the bottom~~ AHHHHAAA. I said it was good thing they didn't stretch it over her face, she would have had a moustache. I'm still laughing!!
And, look what we had for supper last night..eat yer hearts out. A customer of Gord's supplies restaurants with prime tenderloin steaks, and she gave Gord two of them last week. We had two frozen lobsters in the fridge, and we feasted on a a very good meal, of steak, lobster, baked taters and mushrooms.
Just a note: I'm still working a new redesign...and a beach scene. But I will be testing it out on my test blog before I subject real people to see it. How mature of me.
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