And this is my Monday prayer...and Tues. and Wed. (you get it).

Sunday Night

Creative title, dontcha think? All my work is done for the weekend, and the laundry is done...thank you lord!! The chicken is in the oven, stuffing is made, potatoes peeled, veggies on hold. So, I have a little time out till Gord gets home, which should be any minute.

We had a good Attitude Adjustment Hour yesterday, my nephew, his wife and kids joined us in our little kitchen. Seven ( so called adults, two small children and a dog)It was wackooo time...kids yelling, dog barking, people talking and drinking and eating trying to talk over each other...hey family and friends are good things. The kidlets were so cute, they had just got back from a company picnic and they had their faces all painted up and shit. Unfortantely, most of the colour was a mustard looking thing ...not pretty at all...looked like they had fell in a mustard vat at a hot dog eating contest. I was going to put up a pic, but the "rents" are a little internet shy with them kidlets, so I thought better of it. (or until they tell me I can).

The funniest part was when the youngest "Mckenna" came in with her parents and saw her grandma was sitting at the table....she could not believe it...I guess she has never seen her grandma in a different setting than at their house or hers except Christmas. She kept asking..."grandma, why is you here?"...how come Grandma, why aren't you at your own house... poor little kid was blown away, she didn't know Grandma had a life and came to other peoples houses. The kids know our house...as the "Christmas House" because we always do Christmas here with the family. But they certainly didn't think Sheila should be here when it wasn't Christmas!

Sheila is doing much better and is now back at work after 6 months of chemo and radiation. She is a brave soul..she is. She finally dumped her wig, and her hair is coming back.

I'm going to get her a T-Shirt...that says "I beat Cancers ASS"....but I wait until her next check-up, cancer has a way of sneaking back...fucker..

Off to make da chicken ...smells so good...

Have a good week..

Joan

Ten things I have never done

Brian tagged me with this one.

Thanks "Teach"...grrrr for making me try to "think" on the weekend. I usually use this time to enjoy the vacuum between my ears.

1. I have never avar rode a horse, nor do I care if I ever will. There backs look all slickery and stuff and I am sure my butt would be on the ground in a minomoment.

2. I have never walked my dog. My dog walks me.

3. I have never met a pig I didn't like. I think I have a farm animal theme going here.

4. I have never been baptized. Sometimes that worries me, because I sure would like to head in the right direction after I leave this earth.

5. I have never had children. (other than the man I married).

6. I have never swam with the dolphins. But then again I live on the prairies, and would be hard pressed to find one of those bad boys around here.

(this thing is giving me a headache...fortheloveofmike)

7. I have never met Brian. If he was here right now, I'd be forced to give him a noogie right on his noggin.

8. I have never had grandchildren...see #5

9. I have never been to Disneyland...scratch that...that was a bold faced lie. I have never had a pair of Mickey Mouse ears. When we went to Disneyland I so wanted a pair, but only had $30.00 bucks left in my pocket to go home with. So I just touched them and tried them on. I almost stole them, I wanted them so bad. I guess I'm still not over that?

10. Whew.... down to the finish line...I have never craughed. (to cry and laugh simultaneously). I do these two things separately.

..are you happy NOW!!

Thanks Teach...it was fun, even though it gave me a headache.

I almost forgot...

I was going to post a pic for Joe yesterday and I forgot. I was so busy being in a pissy mood. Sorry Joe!!!



Now you can do two things at once on the golf course:) It's called an old farts golf cart...I just cracked me up when I saw it.
I need me one of them for going grocery shopping.LOL..cause I'm gettin there... I'd love being truckin through town on this baby...shit or get off the pot..says I.

But, I may be a teeenie weenie bit of a crack pot....:) do you think?

I also made a banana tortesortof... I got the recipe on someone's blog, but I can't for the love of me remember who's it was. It was a guy, but can't remember his name.






It's really easy too...all you do is line a pan with Nila wafers, pour over some vanilla pudding (not instant) then a layer of bananas, and then start over until you reach the top. I had fresh strawberries in the fridge, so I just topped it off with them. I served with a glob of whipping cream on top! It was pretty good.

Guess I better run, I'm expecting the Atittude Adjustment group here tonight...good times!



I'll get over this photo stuff soon enough, so don't be worried. My attention span is way to short to do anything more than 4 times.

I bid you adieu..

Just a quickie tonite...

Been busy making pizza's and shit, plus another new dessert, well new to me anyway. I got home at 6:00 Pm and started cooking, I don't know why...usually on a "Fryday" ..I don't feel like doing sweet fart all. Hold on..........

Gord has just got home to tell me that our camper has been SOLD..yes...! (The Schmidt House) is history. He is all nostalgic and stuff, but it was never our camper, we just "repo'ed it from his niece, because she ( beothch) *&&^ couldn't pay for it.....I have a lot to say about that one day....balonie has some simmering stuff under her belt she doesn't let go to lightly. But I will save that for a day when I can vent...not today.. Gord kisses her ass and I am inbetween the whole thing.

He totally spoiled my Fryday....I got me some ass kicking to do.... and he might be wearing my dessert. Bugger.

If I new you were a'coming I'd baked a cake..hired a band

I am not a good baker. That said, I have been dabbling in that art form. Patience is required when measuring, and such stuff. I also have a big hang up with messes..I don't like any messes. So, when I am baking my "art", I am also cleaning up faster than I am measuring and shit. I am constantly guessing, did I put the eggs in?..hmmm don't see them anywhere on the counter, might have, check the fridge, yes the eggs are in there, but are they in my batter for shitsake. Sugar, did I put it in?..don't know but when I stir it, it feels a little scratchie, so I musta. And so it goes.

I belong to a recipe website called Nancy's Kitchen and they have recipes galore in a newsletter I subscribe to. So, everyday, before I leave work I open my email recipe page from my friend Nancy, to gets some ideas what to make for supper when I get home. Then, when my boss isn't lookin' I print em...take them home and usually never try them. I have 5000 lbs. of paper with recipes in my house I have never read again....but they's might be handy one day...yaneverknow. I like to keep all my options open.

Well on Tuesday I decided to make one of them...it's called a dump cake. Easy as pie they say. All you do is take a 1-step Angel Cake mix and a large can of crushed pineapple...dump it all together ..throw in a cake pan ....and let er go. NOW THIS, is how I likes to bake, I can't forget anything. When I was mixing the crushed pineapple with the cake mix, it was afizzling and stuff, and if you would have seen me..I had a crease in my brow, you would have known..balonie was a little over her head. The recipe didn't say anything about no fizzling. I put on my safety glasses jest in case we had a little experiment here..that had gone wrong. No, nothing exploded but it just kept fizzling, so I put it in baking pan...just a tad smaller than suggested...but whathewho...I don't have every friggin size baking pan for every sucker recipe that they suggest...so I.do.what.I have.to. wing it.

Well, it still was fizzling and shit, and was going over the pan. Common sense prevailed...take some of the batter out, "dipshit", which I did. Now I have the level up to the rim of the pan. It's still fizzling. I thought that would be the end of it...but by now it has a life of it's own.. I stuck in the oven, and hoped for the best. As time went by, I was getting a little unchillaxed, my nerve endings wanted to LOOK IN THE FUCKING OVEN TO SEE WHAT WAS HAPPENING!...but then I remembered my Mom's words, "don't ever open the over door when a cake is baking, because it will....FALL"...okay..where? further down to the bottom rack?..where will this fucker fall?

I had to peek, because forsomegodforsakingreason...my oven light does not stay on unless you open the stinkin' door. By this time the cake had a huge "phallic thing going on"...it was peaking right in the middle, it looked like a porno show. Anyway, I left it in for the rest of the time required, and after a few more peeks, it seemed to be browning up nicely. I took out, and put it on the counter to cool off. I had some stuff to do around the house and I came back in awhile...and this is what I saw


Glory be... "thars a hole in the middle mama"..."yes sir papa. " thar sure is.

Actually this cake was really good, and the lady who submitted it said.. it would fall, but she didn't say ..how hard. And I so, believe her, because it did. I was very tasty, we had had it with some whipped cream topping...I rated it...a 8 out 10 in dumpster recipes. I found hundreds more "dump" cakes out on the internet...and on Nancy's Kitchen...she's a sweety.. I could have so have used the word "dump" many times tonite..but I zippered up me little my little dirty pie hole...oh that reminds me .... I have a great pie recipe coming up this weekend...and last but not least, I have a new golf cart coming up for Joe...he will love it.

Until the weekend..this is Betty Crock..signing off..

balonie..

The hangover after the long weekend

I don't really have a hangover, just feels that way. When the long week-end approaches you feel so excited to have 3 days off, and when it's over...well it's over and then you get a dumpster like feeling...BUT..I have trained my brain to think positive..and tell it, you only have 4 more days of work left instead of five. My little trained brain luvs that. It is instinctively happy again. Sometimes it gets a wee bit confuzzled, but not for long, because something that small can't be screwed up that easy.

It managed to get to work this morning, but not with some dismay. We had a major power outage on Saturday during a thunderstorm. Being the genius that I am, I did not change the time in our bedroom clock radio over the weekend...I was thinking....to hell with the world..I will get up any frigging time I want to. Backfired..big time. On Monday night I saw the evil clock a'blinking before I hit the hay. Hubby was already "sawing logs" in the bed...so as I can't really concentrate and all...(his fault) I changed all the settings, making sure that I made them at least 15 minutes later than real time...because I like to fool myself in the morning. The alarm went off this morning, and I'm thinking I have another 15 minutes to either try to get that frigging cramp outta my leg, or just snooze...the cramp won out. I am in major pain, my leg is tighter than a fart, and I start massaging it, without trying to yell out loud. Okay, done, I'm out of bed, go into the kitchen, and look at the clock on the stove... and it's 8:15 wellfortheloveofmike... I turned the clock down 15 minutes instead of up...duffesssssenesss. No time for a shower ...ewwww.. just put some water on the ole helmet..brush it down and try to make the best of it...brushed my tooth (LOL)..cause this sounds like a red-neck story. Grabbed a pair of jeans...found my fav hoodie sweatshirt...drank 1/2 cup of coffee.. fed the dog...and got my ass into my big horking ole peoples van...and headed in to work. I was 5 minutes late. I walked in ...cool...whistling like nuttin was wrong. Well, there was nobody there, my boss had taken the day off...and I forgot... Somebody...shoot me... Well, I spent a itchy day...without me shower and stuff..smelling my armpits and such..ewww ..at least my tooth was brushed...thank you god!!

Now, on the bright side again, there is only 3 days left till the weekend. I'm counting on it.

Spring Cleaning

We spent the entire afternoon mowing, raking and thatching the back 40. My aching back!



Queen Penny decided to sit on the pickanick table to observe two old farts falling down and not being able to get back up. Medic!!



This the other side of the yard...big huh? sigh...

The long weekend is coming to a close, and I haven't done half the stuff I planned on. I did however, figure out how to but a pic on the sidebar...whoah...I musta been eating some "smart pills" or sumthing.

To celebrate this Victoria day...I will leave something distinctly Canadian!


You should the other side of bill....oh babbbby!!! I didn't post it fearing everyone would think I am a real PIG. (as opposed to the little one I am now)

Welcome my new guest blogger for today..

It's the long weekend and I am doing "sweet F*k all." So, I have invited a guest to do my blog today. Her name is Penny and she and I have been friends for the last five years. I hope you like her stuff, I sure do:)

balonie..

Penny's Ponderings

I am so happy Joan asked me to fill in for her today. Usually I just watch her blog, but today I'm in the "hot seat."

Joan and I met 5 years ago. I was living on the other side of town, with a older lady who took me in after my parents got divorced. She was a very nice person to take me in on such short notice. I loved her grandchildren, we had so much fun together. I was much younger than her, and was full of energy. I was always bugging her to do things with me, but she didn't have the energy to keep up with me. One day, she phoned her son and asked him to come over, she had a decision to make. She asked me to leave the room and closed the door. I heard them talking for a long time, and then they made a few phone calls. After about an hour, they opened the door and called me into the kitchen. I came into the room, not knowing what to expect, and everyone seemed so sad. She came over and gave me a kiss, and said I would have to go with her son to meet some people. Her son was parked outside in the driveway waiting for me while she packed up a few things for me to take on my trip. Before I got into the car, she gave me a big hug, and said she would see me later.

We drove for about 15 minutes, and pulled into the mall. It was very crowded. He said, we would have to go in for awhile to see some people. I was happy enough to do that, because I had been at this particular mall once before and made some good friends at the store we were going to.

Once inside, we met a lady, who "the son" had called on the phone. She looked at me, and said she was very glad to meet me, and would we follow her into her office. Once inside, she asked "the son" to sit down, because she had some forms he had to fill out. She asked him a bunch of questions, which he answered while he was filling out the papers. When he was finished, he called me over and told me that I would be staying here until someone younger than his mother could take care of me. He kissed my nose, shook my paw...and left.

I was confused, where was he going? He left me here all alone with a stranger. The lady was very nice to me, she patted my head and told me not to worry, someone would soon come along and adopt me. I had been to Pet Land many times before, and it was the best place in the world, I would get to meet all the dogs in the store, and get a treat before going home. This time, however, it was different. She took my leash and guided me to my barren kennel. I was told to "stay" there and wait for someone to bring in my belongings and give me fresh water and some food. I began to shiver, this was getting scary. The kennel had a glass window in front of it and I could see all the people in the store looking at me. I started to cry. In a few minutes another lady came in with my toys and food and water. She tried to get me to play with my toys, but my heart was not in it. All I wanted to do, was to go home! Eventually she left me there alone. It was so loud in there, dogs were barking in the kennel beside me, birds were chirping, people were laughing and talking loud. I moved to the furthest corner, put my paws over my ears and tried to make it all go away. After an hour or so, the lady came back in my kennel and put my leash back on..YES..."the son" must have come back for me!! Not so. She led me to a veterinary office attached to the building. Here she had a chat with the receptionist, and then I was led into a little room with a table it it. The lady stayed with me while we were waiting for something to happen. Soon a man came in with a white coat and a big smile. Sooo, he said, this must be Penny. I loved him right away, he tickled my ears, and patted my head in a good way. After a few minutes, he picked me up and put me on the table. He asked the lady a few questions, and then he poked and prodded me for a few minutes, but I didn't mind, because he was paying a lot of attention to me. Soon, he had finished looking me over, and decided that I might need a needle after looking over my chart. He turned me around and whispered in my ear...don't be afraid...and stuck the needle in my rear end. It didn't really hurt, just startled me for a minute. After that was over, he told the lady that I was ....good to go.

The lady led me back out of the office, and back into the kennel. Once again I was left alone with all the noise and people gawking at me through the window. I started to cry again, but this time nobody came. So, I just curled up again and tried to shut it out. Finally all the people went home, and all the lights went out. It got a little quieter, I could still hear dogs growling, cats meowing, and birds chirping. It was a long long night. I finally fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night and didn't know where I was...I panicked, but then remembered the events of the day before. I had to go pee, but didn't know where to go. I sniffed around and around, but didn't want to dirty up the floor. Finally I did it in the corner. I felt bad. I drank a little water, and found my toy beside the dog food. Something familiar was good, I picked it up and brought to my corner and tucked it under my chin and fell asleep. I awoke in the morning with a start...people were coming in and checking on me to see if I needed more water and food. I didn't because I wasn't hungry. More ladies came in later and patted my head and told me ...it would be alright. I sat in my corner all day curled up and didn't look up once at all the people at the window. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. Later in the day one of the ladies came in and put the leash on me... I thought, please god...let "the son" be picking me up!!! No, it was not "the son". They led me into a little room, where another lady was sitting. She came up to me, then sat on the floor beside me and kissed my head...she tickled my ears...she tickled my belly...she whispered in my ear not to be afraid, because she loved me and I was what she had been looking for. I loved her back right away. She played with me for about an hour, then she told the lady she had to go, but would be back. I didn't understand that part, because when she left they put me back in the the kennel, and I started to cry again. To much happy, sad, happy, sad was wearing me down. I curled back up in corner and ignored everyone again. But, to my surprise and jubilation, SHE CAME BACK...with a new halter, a bright orange squeekie ball and doggie treats. She put the halter on me, after some struggling, and she filled out some forms for the lady, and we WALKED OUT OF THERE! I was still a little afraid because I didn't really know her, but she put me in her car, and we blew that popcorn stand.

Once we got to her house, I was shown a huge backyard.. to die for....and I whizzed all over it for about 10 minutes...I'd been holding it in for a long time. She took me in the house, and I sniffed it out and thought..."hey this looks like a good gig"...lets give it a chance. The only thing she didn't tell me was...that she had not told her husband..(now my dad)...that she was getting a new dog. The husband and her had lost their beloved dog "Munchie" who was 18 years old, 4 months before. The husband, was still not sure he wanted to commit to another relationship with a dog, after finding out how hard it was saying goodbye to the first one. Sooo..when he got home, he came into the kitchen...stepped back a few feet after seeing me...and said to her...I hope this is the neighbours dog! They talked loud for a few minutes, so I had a feeling this "gig" was coming to an end really quick. I had it in my head...that maybe I should just turn on the charm, because this guy looked like a soft touch. He was sitting at the kitchen table and I "sat pretty" right in front of him with my paws waving....he laughed...YES...he was mine!!!! The rest is history.

It's been five great years since I was adopted to the most wonderful people in the world...(Joan wrote that part)... I however, have some issues around here that could be improved with a little effort.

...If you don't like me coming in with dirty paws...don't let me out in the rain...even if I beg, or better yet, put sod over the garden..(that you never use) and guess what?...no more mud..but I will continue to go into the garden if it is still there.

...Walks could be done more frequently...because I like to hate other dogs on the street...and don't be tryin to get me to stop barking at them. I likes smelling their shit. (Penny is an ass on the street)..she should be banned...don't tell her I said this...shush

...The food: Whilst I likes me Lamb and Rice shit...I will only eat it if you give me something from your supper plate first. And if you don't give me any....I will pout and use my Pet Land face.

...Brushing....you know I have issues with that, because my coat is so dense, and it hurts when you pull that brush through there at breakneck speed...so, if my lip curls a bit you know you have done it too hard....and don't ever mess with my nails...only the purdy Vet. at the Animal hospital can do that...(remember when you cut one of them and made it bleed)..I stills remember that!!

..When I am sleeping curled up between you and the Mr. with my noggin dug in under the pillow, don't turn around all stupid and quick in the dark...because you scare me and I make a funny noise..but I would never bite you...it only sounds like I might.....it's only the nitequil talking.

...Remember the days when you first got me...I ate everything in the house that had a fringe on it?...I'm totally over that, you can safely put back all your afghans and such on the couch. I won't touch em. Not as tasty as they used to be.

...I, however have some issues with my squeekie toys....I only like 1 out of 5 that you buy...and when I get that "one"...don't be telling me to shut up...cause once I get a tune happening with that bad boy, I am on a roll.

...Just a thought...if you could put the couch a little closer the the living room window, I wouldn't be falling in behind it when I am protecting YOUR house from predators, such as the mail man, flyer carriers, paper boys, dogs, or anything that moves in the front street. After all it would only take a couple of inches so as I wouldn't be falling behind it and making a fool of meself.

...Last but not least....you spend waaaay to much time at the computer. I gets very tired of watching you clickity clackin there, when you should be patting me really hard.. walking me and kissing me and all.

Your friend,

Penny Martin

Verenki...anyone...

Now lookie there, a batch of me own verenki...perogies...or whatever you want to call it. I am going to put these little puppies in a big pot of boiling water, and then make a nice thick cream gravey to go on top. Next, bake up some farmer sausage in da oven...and serve it all with some nice thick slices of tomato....e.a.t. your hearts o.u.t.

At the risk of making this a recipe blog...I would like to share...that these are cottage cheese verenki...not the potato and cheese stuff some others make... (Ukrainians) for one (no offence) but this is the Mennonite way... we shun potato verenki...phewwwie...blah...get thats away from us.. but Mennonites are good at shunning..so nothing new here. But, my perogies are so awesomtastic ..you'd give up your first born...with a smile on yer face.. and let hims or hers go the Child and Family Services for a day..whilst you would enjoy some of balonies...verenki...it's that GOOD. Shit you not!!

I'm thinking of putting them up on eBay...might jest get me some takers...and start my own business...maybe not...some guy would find a pic of the virgin mary's vagina in them...or at the worst a finger.....

I am so full ( yummers) of it..balonie...

Safeway and such..

I really should know better than to go to Safeway on Tuesday after work. It's.. shhhhh...Seniors Day. I can smell the coffee and donuts, I see the blue haired chicks, with the walkers and know all the motorized carts are in use...so no more scooting a careening around Safeway for me!!

I have to get my groceries and try to get out of there, before I am noticed. It's not an easy feat, as I am in there almost every day because I am a lazy good for nothing stinking shopper. Most of the staff always greet me...(but I'm sure that's a PR thing)... or do they really like me?..maybe they do, I likes to be liked, but I could be wrong. I do my rounds, touch all the veggies, making sure they are ripe enough for my liking, but don't buy any. I sculk past the meats and such, press the pork chops...jest a bit..to see if they are tender enough..nope...not to my liking. Then check the Chicken section..cause I want's to get a deal like ms. special K..does..two fer one price..not today it won't happen, those chickens are all on there own for a purty good price...so I quit touching them. Next, I need some doggie bones...not something I buy from Safeway, because they ARE OVERPRICED BY 100%...but I haven't had the chance to get to WAL MART, and get trampled by 896 women and children looking for a deal on WD40 and Nachos...ya know a woman always has to be lubricated and shit. I avoid this place like hell, and pay the big price for the dog bones just to NOT HAVE TO GO THERE. But eventually I will have too, because I am cheap.

Next, I need yogurt and bananas... I skillfully check the prices, and realize I have no idea..so I just touch the bananas and yogurt and put them in my cart. I'm thinking you can get a better buy just by touching, or maybe not getting better buy... but touching it just makes it more personalized...and with all the others who have touched it..it makes it more people friendly...yes..that is how I like to look at it.

On to the strawberries...my fav...now this is a work in process. They come in a plastic container, and you have to lift it up....look underneath to see if any "rotten crotches" are under there...and iffin you see a "rotten crotch"...slam it down...and look under all the other containers till you find a
healthy one. Tip: for those who are not Safeway savvy... always take whats you don't like and put it in another place...good for sales..because an unsuspecting consumer will think it's on SALE. Good for Safeway...and easier for you if you already got it in your cart.

Now, this could backfire if you get your sammich meat from the deli...(and if they know you prudy well)....you order up 300 grams of the most expensive corned beef...put it in your cart, knowing full well, that it is too expensive...walk around for awhile, feeling guilty, and toss it into a freezer...so as not to feel too guilty, because it won't go bad there...and then...bolt!...but you always have this lingering feeling, the clerk knew you ordered that corned beef, and when someone returns it to the deli....SHE WILL REMEMBER YOU...so I just dye my hair the next day and hope for the best.

So, I have gone on too long with my sorry story...today was Seniors Day..a day I dread, because when I get to the check out...they will invariably ask..."Do You Want to Take Advantage of our Tuesday Seniors 10% Discount Day"???....(do they ask the chick in front of me with 125 earrings in her nose)...no...they ask me...with my wonderful highlighted hair (which I did myself ..to save a buck..I'm looking like a skunk, but that should not have interfered with the process). Do I look old..huh...tell me...you mutthers...huh??

I looked at the "high school drop out" clerk and said ..ahem..you must have me mixed up with someone else..I am only 33, .but meybe I'm looking a little scruffy an old today because I didn't apply my Oink of Olay this morning ..after the blank look...she gave me all the useless discount coupons I will never use. I held my skunk head high...and said...see y'all tomorrow...but I said that in a Canadian way...we don't say y'all.. I said I will see you tomorrow..you Safeway Beotch..

Somedays you win..somedays...you just want to make sure you can tie up yer sneakers without fallin over...knowhatimeanjellybean...??

balonie

Scrapping and the BACHELOR..

And after I re-read my post this morning I realized, I said I didn't do any journaling because the picture told the story.....well I went into great lengths to tell the story after the pic....I'm a stinking liar....I should journal....but I find it sooooooooooo hard...to write stuff on a picture, unless it a little dirty of sumthing.. Yes, I am a pig.

I am just watching the stupid fucking guy on the "Bachelor"...this guy is a no mind with lips that meets his ears..and right now he can't pick his prostitute....he waffeling...do I pick hooker number #1 or hooker number #2. Well Mr. Pimp....pick your little lady..buy a Caddy, and bring her over to the seedy part of town....and get yer moneys worth.

I cannot believe this shit.....it's puke time....now they are saying they miss each other...

And, you are asking, why am I watching this shit?....because .....because...well...its on TV...and I am a liar....and my pants are on fire....serves me rite ...for watchin crap..

BALONIE...BIG TIME

Scrapbooking stuff

I haven't been doing any computer scrapping since I discovered blogging, only because time does not permit it. But, I love doing it. So, I have put together a few I did last year. I have tons more, but don't want to bore you. I know most scrappers do a lot of journaling, and you would think..with my big friggin mouth an all that I would be doing more of that. But for me, it's usually enough by putting it together to tell a story.. rather than to reiterate every detail. I don't do this for posterity, but only to make it visually pleasing..to me...

Once spring is in full bloom around here, I will put another scrapbook together. Unfortunately, I lost so much in the last crash, I will have to do it all over again...but let's look on the bright side, I am still here another for another spring, and can do it all over again...

Whens you git older..sometimes youse forgits you have already done it once before...and it is all another surprise...thats the BEST!! LOL..

luvs balonie

Baby Balonie Scrapbook page

As precious as I look, I am obviously giving the photographer the finger.
And so it has gone with the rest of my life...always doing the "salute"

Laundry Day...

She is probably wearing some of my unmentionables...she like that yanoo

..after all she is me doggers..

kawots anyone

This is a mutant carrot I found in the garden..and decided to have
a little fun with hims..

Scrapbook - Cousins

All the cousins together at Grandma and Grandpa Schroeders at Christmas 

.I's be the one ..top left..with a big pouty face.

A big melting pot of Italians, Mennonites and Germans...in about 1958 or so.

Scrapbook page of Penny

Photo Scrapbook page of my Grandfather

Grandpa Kehler started the first garage in our town.
He was my fathers dad, and I never got to meet my gramdmother on
this side of the family as she died before I was born. My grandfather
was a well respected man in our community. After Grandmother died
he had a "housekeeper, " who became our surrogate grandma..we just loved
her. After grandpa sold the house you see on the picture, he build a house
right across the street from ours. My bro and I just loved having him so
close, because he would always give us a "nickel"....whoo ..off to the
store. And his housekeeper was a wonderful woman too...once a week...for
sure, when she would see Garry or me outside, she would yell...Gedddy...or
Jonnnie...come...I have someting four yus..come come...we would run over
and it would always be O Henry bars and other candy. No wonder all my
teeth are gone to shit these days....but I it was worth it.....good memories.

After viewing this, I have no idea why all the text is all ge-put...ahhh so it goes..

Photo scrapbook page of my dog Penny

Penny's "trying" afternoon.
She loves her ball and was so frusterated
trying to get it out of the bird bath.

DRUGS THE NECESSARY EVIL

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ,resulting in enjoyment of country music & pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?

BUYAGR A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree

J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toiletseat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A GA M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

I took a few Jackasspirin's this morning, it didn't help so I gave Gord a Nagament, and low and behold it werked!! He was out the door lickity- split pretending he had work to do.

I should have sprayed him with some Antitalksident yesterday....mannn he couldn't quit talking while I was watching a movie...I just sat there clenching my teeth, my eyes were starting to twitch forpittiesake... and over and over in my head I was thinkin..."ohmygodmakehimstop"!!!
He did. When the movie was over! He didn't have a damn thing to say.. he fell asleep..Oy Vey

Well, I guess I'll just take a Damnitol, and call it a day.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Elvis the Pelvis

Before I get into this sheeit.. Just want to wish me friend the amazing ..Special K...an amazing Birthday.....I likes her a bit....she's not so bad...has a way about her that makes a body laugh...smile...and all the rest....Happy Birthday you little stinker.. no offence..

Well, it was a toss up between watching the new Elvis movie on TV or blogging...guess what I chose? yeahhhh bloggin.

I don't know who the actor is that is playing Elvis ...but he looks like a "carp"...with a bad hair day.. WILL SOMEBODY JUST LET HIM REST IN PEACE... jeezes murphy!! Priscilla..looks she just got out of convent of something...grrrrr.....I'd rather watch old Ed Sullivan re-runs..because the real Elvis might be on it....

This sorta took me back to when Elvis was king and I was just a teenager looking for love in all the wrong places.. I think I got my first Elvis record in about 1958...Blue Suede Shoes...my friend Dolores and I bopped our booties off listening to the song 3 million times. I bought every movie magazine with his pic in it....and I must have 30 of them hanging in my bedroom. I watched every movie he ever made at that time in our "show hall"....giggling and swooning with my girlfriends...We didn't "scream" or anything when the movie started, as that would have been unseemly..for a mennonite chick...we just yakked it up like a bunch of chickens...until the usher told up to shut up. And by the time he made Blue Hawaii few years later...(we smuggled in a mickey of vodka) and got pissed...we were so much older and wiser then.

Elvis was really a big part of my life growing up. I will always remember when he was scheduled to come on the Ed Sullivan Show...my parents were on "red alert"...Mom and Dad made so much fun of him ...calling him "Elvis the pelvis"...and worse stuff. Of course, the more they made fun of him the more I was .. jest in love with him....


The night arrived, Mom, Dad, baby bro, and I sat down on a Sunday night in front of our black and white TV to see ELVIS....I was pissing my pants with anticipation all day.. Then Ed Sullivan came out...and said ...HERE ON OUR STAGE IS...ELVIS PRESLEY..and he started to sing... I was jest a bopping and stuff...and snapping my fingers, singing along with the tunes!! I was in my happy place. My parents and my bro (who was only 11) ..took this time to comment about my hero...Bro: he's ugly...Parents: Elvis the Pelvis ...yadda yadda (shut up already, I'm rocking here) , and telling me that teenagers are listening to way too much bee bopp music..."what's wrong with Perry Como?"..well for one.. Mom, I'm getting tired of his sweaters.... and I'm just not in the crooning time of me life ..yaknow... and after it was over the folks were all cheering because Ed Sullivan said next Sunday he would have the Osmund Brothers on....god help me... give me Perry Como anyday...popo giggo..or whatever the name of that puppet was...the "Flying Frankensteins", anything but The Osmunds...palesse....even those guys who used to juggle plates would have been okay......remember them?...there was a lot of oooooooooooohhh's and awwwwww's going through our living room...when they performed...we always wondered how they could juggle so many plates in the air without breaking any.....those were the days...amazed by anything...

Elvis and I never really parted ways....his music was a gateway to the stuff I still listen to now...I don't actually put Elvis on most of the time.. but I think it was the beginning of RR..and then we all put our own spin on it...Nothing makes me feel better than to put on a Janis Joplin tune ....and get lost in it....yeah..I'm still an old hippy...

ms. balonie

Monday Morning coming down

It's still friggin raining...doesn't do much for the disposition.

I spent most of Saturday, trying to find out why I cannot comment of your blogs at home but I can do it work..I can comment on Leslie's... and that is it...I don't know why? ..and a few others that have blogger comments???

Anywho, on Saturday I was gung ho...thinking I was going to fix this shit. First thing I thought of was that I may have screwed something up by putting that "side blog" crap in there, so I removed it...nadda...made no difference...then Ms. K suggested I try to go to Fire Fox ..I downloaded it...and I could not get it to work..."it could not find "start" it kept saying that over and over...so I took it out...reinstalled it about three times...and it always said the same thing. fuck.. and then it startin messing with some of my desktop stuff.

I tried to get help on haloscan, but I can't find my problem in their help files. So, tonight, I think I will go back into haloscan and try to put it in again, in case I screwed up a code when I was putting in "side blog"...I dunno.......because I think my problem started just after I put in the side blog.... and if redoing halo scan works...I swear..I will never touch CODE again....it's been the ruinanation of me for petesake...and if you never see a comment from me again, unless I am at work...you will know I have once again...gefucked it..(that's german)...or have I pointed that out before?

I just saw Gord pulling in the driveway, with an old bud right behind him, driving a 2003, canary yellow Corvette Convertable. Now, that is a ugly car...the car itself is okay...but it's baby shit yellow!!..totally classless, but so is his friend.. Nothing new here..

I am being summoned to sit out in the trailer we have sitting beside out house...apparently, Mr. rich guy..classless.. wants to rent it for the summer(while he builds his huge cottage at the lake) ..don't think so...I needs me my little trailer...just soo's the rest of the cul de sacers know...I am still trashy....and I will keep it for years to come, sitting there where they can see it every day, hopin' it will go away.... it's not going to happen on my watch!! It's an old trailer...but it's a wonderful little get away..and we only have to walk about 10 feet from the house to get to it....vacation...vacation...vacation.... I luv the sign in front of it....it says "The Schmidt House"...too funny...

Well, gotta fly, and tell jerk face he's not getting my trailer...after all, I have my rep to think of..

Later gators

To Margaret

In Honour of my parents Ed and Margaret Kehler

Happy Mother's & Father's Day

I was trying to do a post and only talk about my mother, on this Mother's Day, but couldn't separate the two of them. Dad died in 1995, and after my Mom died in 2000, I did a computer scrapbook page with a poem journalled in it. It is hard to see in this format, but on the top left you will see Mom and Dad working in our garden. The poem went like this:

My Parents Garden:

Our parents kept a garden.

A garden on the heart

They planted all the good things

That gave our lives it's start.

They turned us to the sunshine

And encouraged us to dream

Fostering and nurturing

The seed of self esteem..

And when the winds and rain came,

They protected us enough,

But not too much, because they knew..

You'd need to stand up strong and tough.

Their constant good example

Always taught us right from wrong..

Markers for your pathway

That will last a lifetime long.

We are our parent's garden

We are their legacy..

and I hope today they feel the love

Reflected back from me.

The actual poem is called My Mother's Garden, but it wasn't, because it was their garden..so I changed it to suit my brother and myself. My parents were alway inseparable, so this was only befitting. After Dad died my mom was at such loose ends, it was terrible. I tried so hard to fill in some of the gaps, but I couldn't. The harder I tried it seemed the more of a mess I made...(at least I thought I did) . I was so busy tripping over myself trying to make her feel happier, that I lost sight of the fact, that this is something she had to do herself.

We never had any BIG Mother - Daughter talks...even when I was young. She was a very private person. She brought me up as she was brought up. Sex was never talked about. I got all my information from True Story Magazines, but shit...those stories always started with a couple necking and such, and in the next sentence she was pregnant....fortheloveofmike...I needed the inbetween stuff!! I didn't get my first bra, until she found me wearing one of her's, and I had stuffed it all up with toilet paper!!! I didn't get any information about my periods until I came home from school bleeding...and thought I was dying.

Jumping forward to the week after my dad died, we were sitting together a the A&W having a burger downtown after filing all the necessary papers of his death at the Provincial offices. The lady who had taken down all the information about Dad..was kind enough to tell my Mom that she noticed her last name was Kehler, and she said that knew that was a Mennonite name. My mom's eyes lit up. The lady proceeded to tell her, that she was Mennonite as well, and still longed for the Mennonite food her mother used to make. Mom and her had about a twenty minute conversation, about Mennonite cooking, that meant so much to her...to talk a bit about Dad and Mennonite food...she was in her comfort zone. So...when we were having our burger, Mom suddenly stopped in mid bite of the burger...looked at me..and said...you know Joan, I have lost my husband, the father of my children, my best friend, and my lover!!!.......She said, "lover"....damn near lost my burger...this was way too much information. I just wanted to get under the table at the A&W and make it all go away. I truly found out that day, that she was a real person, not just my mom.

After 5 long years without my Dad, she became ill with breast cancer. I was there. I was there. I was there. After Dad died we had agreed that it would be best to move out of the old apartment and get a little closer too me, as I was driving across town like a fool, almost every evening after work to check up on her. We got her moved and she lived within 1/2 mile from me, within driving and walking distance. Those years, were the most heart wrenching years I have ever spent. I tried so hard to make the grief go away...always suggesting this and that..while I was still grieving my Dad as well...I put that on the back burner. She was never again my Old Mom....she was half a person trying to fit into the world without the other half. She did try however, after the second and third year. She got involved with some of the craft programs in her block, and she wasn't short of people she knew in the apartment block...both my aunties lived there. But that still did not fill the void. Maybe I should have backed off and given her the space she might have needed to heal...instead of trying to distract her..but I couldn't handle the sad and lonely look in her eyes and voice when I visited and phoned her...which was everyday..

Mother's and Daughter's...complicated shit....

I don't have any kids so I will never experience the bond of daughter or son.. that sometimes makes me a little sad. I don't think of it too often, because it is, what it is...I am fortunate to have great nieces and nephews...and I have advised them that when Gord and I get old, they have to drive us to Safeway every Tuesday...Seniors day... but they probably think at the end we will be the old Auntie and Uncle they expect to get an inheritance from LOL...boy are they in for a surprise!!!...I'm playin them rite now...we will spent every penny...or they will inherit our debt...

I read ms. SK's post today, had me "a cryin"...cause I know I hurt my parents too with all the shit I did when I was young. I was especially touched when she ended it in there native language (Croatian) I believe...her Mom will be so proud...

Today, I miss my mom so very much...her calmness, her softness...he momness..

And this is for you mom

lota mutta..sieviede..xx kus

Just some blasts from the past

Still can't figure out how to put more than one pic on a page in Hello....I never have been the brightest bulb... in da bulb factory..

Hubby..when he was cool 1972

Whoa...I just wanted to bite him then...and now.....well...being through the best and the worst..I would still like to "bite him"...but this time I would mean it...LOL>.

High School Pic..Betty Davis eyes

Except it seems one of my eyes are little "crossed"... too much inbreeding in our family I suspect..but somehow it got uncrossed over the years...cause it looks okay to me now...but of course I can't see without my glasses. When this was taken all I wanted to was to "do" Ricky Nelson ..big time...I loved hims...to death..and had a big time crush on Richie Valens..who sang "Oh Donna"..... those were the days....now my biggest crush..is on....yes, you guessed it...my waterbed...nice an comfy warm...doesn't give me no grief...

Joan and Garry I may have send this once before...but was too lazy to see if I had.

Here it was time to go to bed after our Saturday night bath...I had my curls done up and Garry was missing a few teeth cause we were tussling in the bed one day..and my knee hit him square in the jaw...(yup is was an accident) sue me..

And when we went to bed...Mom would heat up glasses of milk for us, so we would sleep tight. Then we would have to say our prayers ...Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, and if I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take..........and ended up with...and don't let the bed bugs bite...LOL...funny mom.... we never knew what bed bugs were..but we sure as hell didn't want them biting us....

Night Raiders

On your left is "Flower" the Skunk..to your right is Rocky and his brother Rocky...da racoons..

They all get along, as long as he doesn't let the cats out.

My BIL lives on the river, and feeds all the critters...these guys, plus deer, wild turkeys, geese, ducks..you name it...
I'm thinking they are crunching on some cat food their cats wouldn't eat...

My SIL is very neat, so I think they all have placemats..

I am still in comment limbo

I don't know what the heck is going on here, but I can't comment..or see anyones's comments here at home. Everything works just fine at work.

I have been back into haloscan...but I don't see any answers on their Q&A...but..I think this started after I put in that dern old sideblog...do ya think???

So, if you are checking in here at all MaryLou...I luvs your new puppy...one big slurp with his softy tongue would make him a keeper for me. I get people tellin me not to get more animals that might out live me...which makes me sad...yet realistic...I'm 59 years young...now..who's gonna take care of my critters if I get sick and such...I have kept it down to only one dog now, and some fish. Fart..it's boring...... because I used to have a household full of them. but I think I will take MaryLou's lead ... and not get caught up on the "what if's".. and adopt a whole lotta critters once I retire....and forget about it...let the cards fall, where they may...

Potpourri

An elephant asks a camel : " why are your breasts on your back?" " Well " says the camel "I think that's a strange question from somebody who's dick is on his face".

That one cracks me up!!.. anywho..

I've been blogging in my head all day whilst I was doing my chores. Everything is done, dog is walked, fish are fed, laundry is done, the chicken is in the oven, veggies and potatoes are on the stove awaiting their turn... so I can finally relax for the next hour. Now, about that blog I had in my head is gone....poof...it's gone like the wind...I can't even remember any of it. This multi-tasking is for the birds..shit..

It's snowing again. I'm thinking that's why I'm a little addled today, cause I can't take much more of it!!! The poor Robins are starting to mate, and getting there little homes together, and what do they wake up to...an inch of friggin snow. I could see they were surprised, they were all huddled up in my poplar tree with there beaks agape..or maybe they were hungry. I remember a few years ago we had a storm in May, and felt sooo sorry for them, and put out stacks of fruit beside the feeder (they don't eat seed)...but love to eat last years fruit from the trees. When I came home from work the next day after I put it out, it was all gone!!!..yeaaahhh I saved some Robins, but later came to realize my dog was eating it..little stinker...

I am a real sucker for anything that moves...even earthworms. Everytime it rains hard at work, all the earthworms beach themselves on our sidewalk...poor little critters. As of last week, I have saved 14 of them. They come out of the grass and move on the sidewalk when they are getting drowned. So, I take them off the sidewalk, and put them in the flower bed in front of the building, and within minutes they got their little noses buried in the dirt and start going back down. I actually had two a few weeks ago, that were almost dried up, they had been on the sidewalk way to long after the sun came out. I scooped them up and put em in the dirt, but they didn't move for a long time, but I came back out about 3 hours later, and they were gonzo...makes me feel good..even though its just a little worm. Now, if I would see a robin that was starving for a worm...I would give the worm to the robin...I don't know why, maybe because worms can't fly....fudge...I'm full of it tonight. If that theory is correct, and I should have a hungry alligator passing by my yard, I should feel obligated to throw him me dog!!!

Sure wish I could remember what my blog was going to be about tonight...cause I'm loosin it.

Okay, I think it's coming back..(now that I remember, it was really no big deal). First off I was going to a sequel to our Sarah Cee adventures. But, that takes so much effort remembering times frames, ...like how many times did she sink at the dock, and how many times did she almost sink when we were on her... I have been scanning some pics, trying to make a little montage of it all. And you know, it really scares me to even remember how young and stupid we were, especially after she was given to us to use at our discretion...lordy...talk about a party boat!!....I will do that in the upcoming weeks. After Sarah met her maker...and we survived. Gord and I still really hadn't learned our lesson, but this time we decided to do it on land...and bought a huge motorhome, that we could not afford. Nothing new there, only thing is we could never go anywhere, cause we were to busy paying for it...Have you ever wondered where the saying "Do you have shit for brains" came from...yup...it was invented after Gord and myself.

Gord follows some kind an elusive dream...and get's me caught up in it.. I haven't even scratched the surface in my blogs....but we do stuff that makes no sense...and totally get off on it.. We have bought properties to rent out, with nuttin but a dollar in our pockets...because Gord said this would be our retirement money when we got old. I fought him on a lot of them, but you know what!!!....it's always worked out and when we do retire we will have extra income. And not to worry if about RRSP crap.

We had Attitude Adjustment Hour last night....it was very boring....both of my girlfriends were absentee....(yes they must have a life)... So I was stuck just listening to Gord and his brother yakkin it up. And I just realized this morning that will make it two weeks, next weekend that I don't have any females to talk to. At work, it's just guys..and at home it's just Gord and the dog..who is female, but she doesn't get my shit...NO...womenfolk to talk too all week, except for the neighbours and such...oh well...more time for blogging...