Friday, February 15, 2013

Valentines Day effd up

Before my valentine came home on Wednesday I decided to make him a card on my computer inviting him to lunch the next day. Valentines Day at 12:30.  After he went to bed I snuck in his truck and left it on his seat.

Next morning rolled around ... and he got all showered and dressed and went into the garage .. and I was still in bed....waiting... he roared back into the bedroom....OMG ... I thought he was so excited with prospect of having lunch with me......but...he had left his cell phone on the charger...god forbid.

As he left he bade me Happy Valentines day because he saw the envelope on the seat of the truck.... I bade him as well.  I thought he had read the card. He never did until I called him around 10:30 and called him just of make sure we had a date:

Hi... I just realized that the restaurant I picked for lunch today was part of a huge Media thing for the Health Science Centre and we will never get a seat.

ahem.....clearing his throat and thinking of how to respond....because he did not read the fucking card. And said WHAT? 

Joan:  I told you in the card where we would meet for lunch.

Gord:  Yessssss I have it right here, but I was too busy to read it just yet.

Joan:  Then I guess I would have been sitting in the parking lot waiting for you...until when?  When hell freezes over?

Gord:  Well ... it's good thing you called so we don't have to sit and wait for lunch.

Joan:  Well it's a good thing you aren't here right now...because ...I would have kicked you ass!

So that my friends is how we communicate... like animals. 

That evening he brought in the sad looking envelope and card which looked like it had tire tracks over it.. And wished me a happy Valentines day.

Haaa ... It's all good. 

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Getting new glasses and eye check on Thursday

I had a very bad experience the last time I had my eyes checked... I have been going to this old fart in the strip mall for 20 years.  He doesn't even have a computer.  He has a mensch who is about 980 years old who rules the front desk.  He has a calculator when he bills you.  There frame selection seems to be up to date.... but not so for the rest of it.  The last time I was in there...let's say 6 years ago or so... I had an eye exam before purchasing my present pair of glasses..   Just a note are glasses called a pair?  Or is it just because there are two lenses...just wondering?

Any who.... I had my eyes examined.  He told me that he had just got a new device where he did not have to drop some shit in my eyes to see if I had glaucoma ... instead he had a machine which he put in front of my eyes...and it clicked.  And it clicked...and it clicked some more.  He was looking concerned.  I was getting concerned .... because of all the clicking and shit.

Then he said... I don't want to alarm you but this new machine has been giving me a few problems since I bought it and I have sent a lot of patients to see a REAL EYE make sure everything is okay.  My thinking was....if you saw an increase in problems with glaucoma GET YOUR MACHINE FIXED.   I never did that.  It's been a long time and guess what... I can see!  I just need to get my eyes checked because I am vain.... I want new frames....and the print in the newspaper is getting so damn small.

I have progressive lenses so that ain't cheap.  Especially now that I don't have any benefits from work. But the place I went to ..gave me a 40 percent discount for the eye exam because I am a SENIOR CITIZEN (still makes me laugh)...and 50 % for the lenses because they had a sale going on.

Hopefully this new place will have a computer....and a competent optometrist. Eye will be seeing u