Thursday, February 28, 2008

Command Start..

Nobody should be without it.

If you have trouble asserting yourself in life, if everyone is throwing sand in your face at the beach, or if you can't keep your head when all those all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, (sorry Rudyard bad analogy ) then this is what you want in your SUV. .

Gord installed a Command Start in my Explorer around Christmas time, and I have taken total advantage of it times 10. I just like telling it what to do, and it doesn't talk back. If I ever re-marry I will marry a Command Start kind of guy. It sort of reminds me of Che Guevara he always took control...and he was not.too.hard.on.the.eyes. Just to let you know how shallow I am, I would marry a communist if he would start my car in the morning. Obviously I have no idea where I am going with this. First Rudyard Kipling and now Che Guevara, lord my well must be dry.

Anyway, back to the Command Start.

I have to admit, I am a bit of a show off. While leaving the checkout at Safeway, I pull out my "Command Start"... oop's, sorry I say, I just have to start my truck. I click it and it sings a merry little tune. And as the checker is shoving the bags of groceries at me, I say oop's I just have to open my doors in my truck.. don't mind me. I'm sure she wants to kill me. And while I wait, just to make sure the truck is running (which I can see from the little LED screen)..once two little poof's of smoke come out of the little cartoon truck in the display, then I know I'm good to go.

After that I proceed to put my wallet back in my purse, checking twice to see if my credit card is in the slot it should be, I don't want to be leaving that behind. By this time, I can see the other customers behind me taking high blood pressure med's . A whole lotta twitching is going on. Just a minute folks, it's winter here in Canuckland.

Always be prepared is my motto. I don't want to freeze my skinny ass going back to my truck, so I have it running, and I don't want to put my groceries down while I fiddle with the key to open the truck. Simple. Now, why were they so pissed at that? JUST wait till I get a little older... I won't even be able to find my credit card...or my command start when I'm in the store...screw them..they got it good now. Bastards..heh...

Fryday night delight supper. I invented a new low cal supper sort of. Around these parts the "heart and stroke association" have given their approval to many things we buy at the grocery store, and it helps me out to no end when trying to cook low fat and low salt. They have saved me so much time and effort. When I started this journey last year when Gord had his heart attack, there was nothing at all I could trust in the stores, I had to make it all on my own. Some of it was bad, and some of it became better, but it was a learning curve. But now, I can trust them to endorse the products they feel are low in sodium and fat. I know that this is a guideline I don't go believing everything, but it sure makes it easier. If I didn't have to work all day, I could probably do this on my own, but I am so grateful that I now have a a gauge to regulate what I buy.

I made chili taco's. I put a few twists in it. hmmm let's see cottage cheese and sweet onion as the base ... topped by lean ground beef and beans..then low fat cheddar cheese on top. Mexicans would laugh a this..and ask if this was was the bland Mennonite version of a taco..I would have to say yes... but my Lutheran loved it. Two down.

Just to keep within the Rudyard Kipling theme of the day, I will finish with my favourite poem ever.


by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,

If you can think and not make thoughts your aim

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build them up with worn-out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breath a word about your loss

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you

If all men count with you, but none too much

If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run, yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

I'm thinking Rudyard was only speaking to his gender at the time of this writing, but if we take away the "Man" reference at end and make it "youse guys" .. all will be forgiven. Fucking political correctness.

I love this poem. It is the way we should live our lives.

I keep this poem for reference every time I get .. either a little lost, or a little to big for my boots, or just a little sorry for myself.

Over and out...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sex in the City

Bobbie has asked me to tell you 6 unimportant things about me, and then she set up some rules about linking back, and telling 500 hundred more people about this yadda yadda. Heh..Bobbie I don't follow rules too well, so of course I will do this my way. No offense, but my time management skills are in the toilet, and I only have a small time frame to get this out. Now, that I have left your site, I can't remember if you really said I had to tell about six things about my life, of six things about my sex life. I might have screwed up with the ix and the ex. " ix, ex"...who gives a hairy rats is my recollection of what you might have said:

So, if you were talking about shhhh sex life:
I don't have six sex things to talk about. Ohhh, just a minute...back up the truck chuck...
1.) I bought black panties last week. But they were cotton, does that count?

2.) As I was coming out of the shower yesterday, Gord just happened to come in the bathroom, and he mentioned that I might want to take shorter showers because I was setting off the smoke alarms with all the humidity. Lovely, he didn't even mention how beautiful I was when I was wet and glistening.... and wrinkled.

3.) The dog really prevents us from getting it, I mean it. She growls if we move her on the bed, so we respect her wishes.

4.) He goes to bed at 10:00 PM, I go to bed at 11:00 PM or later..and never the twain shall meet.

5.) Sometimes I wear socks to bed. They aren't all that unbecoming if you don't look down there, but they don't really match up with my 5 year old nighty. And of course it's all about fashion when we hit the hay.

6.) Finally Six: Yup, I would say we have had sex at least six times. And it wasn't that bad. We had to hurry, because I hid the dog's ball in the basement, and it was only a matter of time before she would find it and be back in the bed again. So, all and all I would give our sex a "six."

So if you asked for sex stuff or unimportant stuff, you got it all here. All in a bundle.

Yours truly,


Sunday, February 24, 2008

A watched cock pot never at your own risk

I bought a cock pot..oops a croak pot, nope make that a CROCK POT yesterday. Yes, again I know I took one back last year after the frozen pork roast fiasco. I never learn. But, gee wilikers "mom" that pork roast tasted like pig hair! Singed pig hair.

So, today I made a beef cockpot pot roast. heh..someone stop me.....

It is killing me. I mean it's really, really, killing me to leave that roast the hell alone. I want to do something to it. I don't know what, but I need to do something. Shit doesn't taste good unless you do something to it. I have looked at it through the glass lid 3,465 times. I put it in at 1:00 PM, which just felt so wrong. Who starts supper at 1:00 PM in the afternoon? Normally when I start supper at 5:00PM I am hungry and know what I need to do. I wasn't hungry, I just had lunch, and the roast was looking a little u.g.l.y. So, I seasoned it the best I could without being hungry, and I have to admit I was not gentle with it, because it was grossing me out. He was a slimy little bastard and had some fat on the bottom of him, which I had to take off. I struggled with the cow, and finally got the flab off his underside with my fillet knife. Then proceeded with the recipe instructions for a pot roast in a cock pot. BTW, the roast looked very much looked like a dangling participle of a porno actor, except the roast was just a smidge bigger... okay, a lot bigger. No one should cook supper at lunch. It isn't right. None of this would have occurred to me at supper. I couldn't get stop looking at it.

So, to take my mind off the largest penis in the world cooking in my cockpot, I started my veggies, onions and mushrooms and baked potatoes at my regular time. Now I was hungry, and had no problems making supper. Except, I kept on looking at the "big guy," at one point in the afternoon, there was some white stuff (probably scum) staring out at me on the top of the roast. Lord.. you don't want to know where my mind went. I really think they should have a lid you can't see through, because I don't need to see what happens while they make a cockpot porno movie.

If it tastes good, gag...I might keep it, but if conquers any memories from this afternoon, it's going back baby.

Here are a few pics:

It's Rival Cock Pot. Wouldn't be funnier if I would have bought a Betty Cocker Cockpot? Laughing alone here people! What if I would have been listening to Joe Cocker at the same time? To many coincidences ....

There it is..a hunk a hunk of burning love at the three hour mark with stuff coming out of it.

Suddenly from nowhere, a little lamb who eats ivy, decided she wanted a piece of the ..ahem.. the aforementioned dangling participle. I wasn't going to get into who could get in the pot and shit so I knocked her off the cockpot with my fly swatter. Penny was very happy, because that was her litte lamb, and she follows her wherever she goes, except on the stove.

I will fill you in on the details of the cockpot chronicles tomorrow. Did we eat it, or did we just watch the porno going on in the cockpot and order a pizza?

Cockpot's for us older folks you get 6-10 hours to get it on.


We had the cockpot supper. 6 hrs. on "high" as instructed. Nothing much had changed when when I make a pot roast the old fashioned way, the pot roast was a little dry, my sides of broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower were a little over cooked, the baked potatoes were good as potatoes go, and the mushroom & onion fry was acceptable. I give it ..hmmmm 3 out of 10. I know I am so hard on myself. I must be control freak, I cannot let that big fat cockpot rule my life. I have to do it my way. I didn't put any veggies in it because I don't like stewed crap. But I managed to overcook my own vegges.

I stress out about shit like this way too much. It's just Sunday Night Supper afterall. I'm putting this behind me...and have already washed out the cockpot and put her in her box to to be brought back to the store. Again, don't get me wrong, like my opinion with the "links" ... some people like em some don't. I guess I just don' t know how to cook without being hands on with the meat part of it. I was trying to make it easier...and off course you can see I shot myself in the foot again.. Not the first time, won't be the last.

On another note:

I remember a year ago today when I was sitting here alone at my computer after Gord had his "incident" and was in the hospital ..when so many of you came and carried me through. Thanks so much old friends I will never forget it. I feel so blessed that he is still with me here today a year later an in good health. So, I humbly thank you again.

And what did I feed him today..cockpot beef when he would have preferred a steak. But being the Mennonite housefrau I am, I had to make sure there were left overs for sandwiches for lunch tomorrow and maybe stew for supper.

It's a shitty job, but someone has to do it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Eclipse of the moon

I just saw it.  It was a beautiful night, clear and cold.  At first the moon  was huge round and very very blue because it was so cold.  Gradually as the night wore on an orange hue began to creep in on one side of the moon and kept on moving until it covered it.  

During the eclipse, the Earth will line up directly between the Sun and the Moon, which will be covered by the Earth's shadow.

Sunlight will pass through the edge of the Earth's atmosphere, scattering blue light and giving the Moon a reddish hue.

No one got hurt.  It was a good day on earth.  I had my binoculars out, and didn't even see a American Flag claiming victory.  Hilary must have been too tired. 

Now, it's coming back, and it's about half moon.  It was very interesting, I just wish we could have been outside, but it was too dang cold.  I mean that.  I can hardly open a door anymore, they are frozen shut.  Unfortunately my mouth still works. 

Time to hit my warm waterbed. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I have a link ..don't kill me

I know I screwed up by saying I hate links. I meant and I will say this again, a multitude of links and strike outs after every frickin sentence pisses me off. But Lord, I didn't mean any harm. So, I so apologize. I'm a princess some days, but you have to admit too much of a good thing stinks. Link it...I will too, please don't take that as a put down on your blog. I will follow your links if I am interested, if there isn't more than twenty of them. You know what I mean, jellybean? amen. end of that discussion.

So, now that I have grovelled at your smelly feet. (Phew) I want to tell you about a neat web site I found yesterday. I know my geekness will show.

Have you ever wanted to get a picture or a file from your computer at home, while you are..let's say at work..shush. for free!

Well, now you can. Here is the link. Log Me In

I always listen to a radio show on Sunday mornings that have a lot of computer tips and tricks...and this one caught my ear.

You can see your computer at home from wherever you are, or you can hook up to your laptop at home if you aren't networked with your PC. We have been having issues at work with one of the guys that wants to use his laptop at home and tap into our main computer at work. But because the way our mickey mouse system is set up he hasn't been able to. Today he can. It works. I downloaded the program yesterday and was going to try it at work today, but have to leave your computer on at home. Fudge!! Just when I think I'm so smart, dumbassedness takes control. It's not easy being so dumb, I work hard at it. I think I have succeeded.

Here is a picture I took through my kitchen window this weekend when it was 5000 degrees below zero. A flock of birds (these are just a few) came to bask in the sunlight. I didn't know what they were called until today, when someone told me they were Bohemian Wax Wings. The picture isn't very clear because of the screen on my window, but they were just incredible to watch. I took a few pic's outside as well, and they were not scared of me at all, they just sat on the branches of the tree and sang their little hearts out. There had to be at least 50 of them in the yard.

Spring can't come soon enought. It is -25 again tonight. This is getting old. I still don't have the block heater in my truck fixed, so I guess I will have to get up at night and start it with my "command start," so that the engine is warmed up enough to start in the morning. Normally it would start even at these temps. but the wind has picked up, so it just makes it so much colder. I fed the wild bunnies that are in our backyard today. I put out cawwots and bread. Poor things, with this weather.

I hope this post has been informative yet not too anal. No(bad) swearing..did you notice? I'm trying to clean up my act.

Yours truly,


Monday, February 18, 2008

Hellow.. I have been busy dying my hair..grey takes a long time

Just coming off a long weekend. Putzing around the house with no regard to hygiene. Bed head, in sweats that had 9,765 dog hairs on them, along with some pizza sauce from Friday...yeah, it was good.

I haven't been out of the house since Saturday. (and it's colder than a whores heart around here.) So there isn't much to say, other than I did a lot of bookwork for Gord on the computer, hemmed two pairs of jeans I bought on Friday, also repaired two "hoodies" I bought on Friday and messed up. I hate tags. They make me itch. Both of them had tags on the sides. I have no idea why they would do that, but there they were. Hard tags! So, I cut them off. But part of the tag still remained, a litte white part..... which drove me crazy. It itched. So I tore the little strip out of there, and of course the seam ripped and I was left with a hole. So, I got out my trusty sewing machine, and hemmed and hawwed, repaired and hemmed and hawwed. Suzie homemaker was I. I still love sewing. I keep forgetting that it was the one thing I loved before the computer came about. Other than crocheting.

When I quit school in let's say 1993, I got a job in Winnipeg at a sewing factory, and it was a very exciting time for me. Being in the big city. Fending for myself. I lived in a "rooming house," with a lot of wierd people. I actually liked the job. It was mindless. But it was also competitive, because we were on "piecework" .. which meant anything we produced over the minimum wage we got, was gravy. The more you worked the more money you would make. Yes, that was an insentive in those days.

I was thinking about that today when I was sewing on my little "Brother" sewing machine. Everything just became natural to me, like in all those years had gone by. I put the pedal to the metal. I laughed at myself. Why the hurry? Dink. It's not piecework anymore. Old habits die hard. Sewing today is a little different, because the materials have changed. Hemming my jeans was a little different because they had some elasticity to them, so you have to watch your tension and how fast you run it through. Once I retire, I would love nothing more than to get a pattern, find some material and make myself something. Then get some wool and crochet my heart out. Yeah... the little things...comfort things.

Real sewing takes patience...which I don't really possess. In the sewing factory it was a no brainer, except when I was put on the Men's Fly Detail. I think I have already posted this about a hundred years ago...I had to do the stitching "J" stitching on the men's flies, before the zippers and such were put in, and when you are on piece work, some of those "J's" get a little out of kilter. Then Boss Lady let's it be known. It's a factory, you have to pull your own weight. Keep up, or get out. Whether or not this one of the crappest jobs I ever had, it was also one of the best, I learned a lot of stuff early on in my working life. Be on time. Work hard. Make friends. Don't eat donuts and Pepsi at your coffee break, because you will get fat. I did! I did eat donuts and drink Pepsi at our 15 minute break. Then at our 30 minute lunch break we would go over to a greasy spoon and get burgers, fries and gravy to tide us over until our 15 minute break in the afternoon, when I would have...only Pepsi.... awww because the guy who brought the donuts in the morning was gone for the day. He saved me a few calories. Not too many. I think after I left my home in Altona, a year later I must have gained 20 pounds. Left to my own divices .... I did not make good choices.

I don't know how I landed up talking about this. One thing just led to the other. Are you asleep yet? You should be.

I just loved those commercial sewing machines...they were so fast then, can you imagine how fast they are now?. Nowaday they are all computerized and you might just have to hit "J" and they make the the fly seam automatically.

Why do they call call men's frontal parts of their pants "flys? Flies? Were flies attracted to that region? I haven't researched it, but I'm thinking it had something to do with insects..heh.. And if it would be fly...well that would self explanitory, whip it in and whip it out! I don't know why I second guess myself.

Crazy is going to bed.

Enough of days off....let's get back to work so I have time to read your blogs!!

Sorry...I wrote this in Blogger without thinking....anyway...forget the spelling errors...Gawd it's starting to piss me off. I don't know why I don't write in Livewriter.

Balonie put up a few Mennonite recipes this weekend if you care to eyeball them.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

happy time

I just sitting here trying to scrunch my ass in my nice comfy leather chair getting ready to rock and roll with you folks. I've got lot's to say baby. It's been way too long without the likes of me! I will have to take a break for supper soon, which will be the first time me and the plow boy have had "take out food" since last year. after the incident. I think I mentioned earlier that our gift cards from Tony Romo were expired. Gord took them back to Tony Roma's...and with the blink of an eye, they reinstated... all of them.. how nice is that? I ordered the regular slab, Gord only get's half a slab, but he wanted other greasy stuff, so he had to pick an choose..I'm still the boss.. Ohhhh here he is with the food...BRB. oh my it was worth the wait... I will be be back tomorrow....for sure. I mean it.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Harpy Valentimes Day to you'se

My nephew Damon always used to say Valentimes Day. I could have killed him. I corrected him 4,678 times and all I got was "whatever." He never tried to say it correctly! He also said bresfast instead of breakfast, which drove me even crazier. I used to take him camping when he was a little lad and told him, if you won't try to say BREAKFAST, you won't get any. He said "whatever." Little bastard.

So, now that he's all growed up with a wife and three kids, they made him sleep on a bed of nails until he could say Valentine and Breakfast. I am sure this morning he got up, and said to his wife, Happy Valentimes Day, what's for Bresfast"? That is really him, when they went to some kind of Torture Chamber on their holidays. Damon looks just like Gordon, but he is 3 feet longer.. a tall drink of water as they say, and a little thinner. I just noticed he has his mothers legs...she doesn't shave her's either. Sorry Sheila...heh.

Yet another day of punishing weather. I know, who likes to hear about ailments and weather all the time? Not I. But, I have no one else to bitch to. We are expecting another night of -35. I wouldn't mind if I could just hole up in the house, but alas I must bring in some bacon and have to go to work. Bacon..yummm. I mean the real stuff. Lately I have had cravings for stuff I normally don't even eat. I'm not a snacker. So, I think this cold weather really makes you want to eat. Fatten up. Just like dogs grow extra fur in the winter. Penny is a ball of fur. She has grown an extra inch in girth. It's all downy stuff underneath her regular fur. She is so soft, you could use her as a pillow. Silky soft.

This weekend I will treat Gord to some food other than my shit. I know he is sick and tired of eating at home. We should really go out once in awhile. But the control freak in me ...says...but how much salt, fat etc. is in that food? I have to let go, because if I don't I know he will get tired of it. I try to mix it up at home, and we eat good, and I know what's in it.

Last week, we discoverd we had about 200.00 dollars worth of Tony Roma's gift cards in a cupboard, which I had totally forgotten about after the "incident." Some were even before the incident, but I was worried about his weight even then and never used them. Then I forgot them entirely. Apparently, they loose their value if you don't use them in a timely manner.

Just to explain...everyone in the whole world knows I love nothing more than Tony Roma's Ribs, so they give me (us) the gift cards. They also know, I don't like going to restaurants and Tony Roma's delivers!! I can't believe I have such good friends who understand me. So, to make a long story short when I checked the cards on the internet I found two were expired and one had about 50% of it left on it. Apparently they charge you 2.50/mo. after a year if you don't use it. Also I had another one for about 75.00 from my a friend who just gave it to me this summer, so that one was safe. I felt soooooo bad. My sister in law Sheila had given the expired one to us after she had gone through a bad cancer scare with chemo, radiation and all the rest of it two years ago. This was her gift to us because Gord and I teemed up, and I would make supper every night for the two of us, but would make extra for her, then packed it up in containers and Gord would deliver it to her house next morning. We did this for 4 months. She appreciated it so much, she gave us the gift card with a beautiful card in appreciation of what we had done. The other one was from the mother of one of our tenants who always appreciated that Gord "plow boy" plowed her driveway without even having to ask. So....I was feeling really shitty about this. Here we just blew their money away.

So, after I told Gord what I had found out on the internet about these cards, he asked me to give them to him and he would go to Tony Roma's to see what he could do. I told him about the disclaimer telling you they will charge you 2.50/mo. after a year on the back of the card..what could he do? He said, watch me. I snickered.. and said Good luck Chuck! He came home tonight and plunked them down on the counter and said they were all reinstated. Good for Tony Roma's! But I think there is a law now that states all these gift cards must be honoured no matter what the date is or the stipulations on the back of them. Had Gord not asked, I would have believed the balance on the internet. So, if anyone has any expired cards out there, go and get them reinstated at the store. Don't believe what it says on the web site. After all the company has our money, whether we forgot to use it in the time frame stipulated, I would think most companies would have their accounting set up to enable them to know how many cards were sold and how many were used, thereby being able to project for the next year how many more might come in. I know there is a law this year in our city that their is no time limit on the cards you buy now.

Now, the problem do we eat $200.00 worth of ribs? It will be okay, now that we know we don't have to eat them all in one night and explode. That's not how I had planned on going down.

Well, my Valentime was gone to bed, I guess I should join him and the dawg.

I'ts a long weekend here this weekend....that is all I can think about. Time off..sleep..fart at reading a book in front of the fireplace..annoy the my new drink wine..fart some more.. and never set foot outside until it warms up, because this cold snap is more than a body can take.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I know, I've been missing in action

I have been doing the family newsletter.  I  hope those ungratefull brats are happy.  Of course Ms. Dell had to give me problems over the weekend...apparently she is having her periods and that causes her to loose her virtual memory.  Delliaha, as I call her has the altziemers and needs some ram shoved up her ass.  I will do that.  I hope someone will do that for me when I loose my memory...but I would appreciate it if they didn't shove it my ass.  I'm thinking of some miracle drip they can give me in my IV.  Ya know, I like it gentle.  Morphine would be good. 

I just invented a soup recipe.  We will be taste testing in  a few minutes.  If it's good enough I will will put it on balonies site.  It's pretty crazy.. I put leeks in it.  No, I did not take the leak in it.  But I could have. 

I'm crazy.  I need help.  

Friday, February 08, 2008

I think I am a real tit somedays

I have been reading some of the blogs from those who have been nominated for the "Bloggie" awards this year. Some of them are just dumb. But, I guess I have my own preferences in what interests me when I read a blog.

Here they go "Bloggie" Schmoggie, Helen Bo Bellen...Bloggie!.... can you hear me singing people!!

I'm trying to mind my manners tonight, but I have a bug in my ear.

  • Do not for theloveofabloggerseyes keep on crossing out words as some kind of a understatement of what you really wanted to say. It just fucking pisses me off. If I wanted to read a blog that was full of ___ this shit I would rather not read anything. It's gets boring really fast. That is why God made "White Out" for shits sake, go and write a letter and "White Out" the parts you ...oh so have unitentionally written. Your letter will look really stupid. Better yet, on your blog, delete the sentences you have stroked out, and let's see if your dern blog makes any sense. I know, I have bad habits theforloveof shit stuff. I'm not as kind as the Pioneer Woman. Mennonite Women like to sass, when their men aren't looking..heh..

  • I guess the next one is the LINKING, I don't mind following a link just once in awhile in a blog if I am interested, but the LINKING has turned into a disease. I like to call it Linkfuckingitis. I don't think there is a cure. Once a blogger figures out how to link, he/she NEEDS to acquaint you with every damn thing they find on the internet that applies to their situation. That, is boring. I really don't care what shoes you would like to buy look like...just don't link it. Tell me more about yourself, your kids, or your crack habit, but please don't show me your damn shoes! Some blogs have about the same amount of strike outs as those that have links. That is boring. Yawn. Links and strikeouts are the bain of my blogging existence.

  • Blogs that have a red background, and black text colour. What in the hell are you thinking? It's like trying to read the back of my "Beano" bottle. I can't read it!! Yes, I have a little gas problem, but Beano has resolved some of it. The rest is up to God. So, you see what I have done here right now is, make some other blogger unhappy, and they will say...I HATE IT WHEN BLOGGERS TALK ABOUT GAS. Yeah...Pffffffff. Sorry about that. My chair just lifted up about an inch. What is it these days with the gas? I heard there was a shortage....come on down if you are short of it, I have some to spare.

Blogger has managed to do away with spell check, and I didn't write this in "writer" as I usually do, but I'm not going to do it all over again for one lousy ...make that 20 spelling errors. Let's not even get into the grammer.

I am my worst enemy.

Friday night supper: Pizza...lean stuff..but good.

Balonie will be putting up some recipes this weekend. She hasn't been around much of late, because I can't find that bitch!! If I don't get on her ass it's all over.

Happy Fryday!!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I'm drinking warm wine

Why, you ask? Because my fridge just met it's maker. It's a good thing it's cold outside baby, because I got a carafe sitting outside cooling it's ass of in the snow. Nothing worse than warm white wine.

Another good thing is...I'm married to an "Appliance Repair Technican" who is presently trying to fix it. It's only been half an hour since he pulled the whole fridge apart. And I am having serious reservations on how he conducts himself at the homes of his customers.

This story is coming to you from real life as it errupts.........where the hell is my web cam?

1.) He has said "fuck" about 30 times.

2.) He farted 3 times, and he's not even finished with the job.

3.) He made me take everything out of the side by side fridge/freezer (shelving at all) only to discover he could do it without taking all it out. It's all sitting in a snowbank.

4.) More farting, I think his pants are too tight

5.) Stepped on the dog's tail...more than once.. I removed the dog the from job site.

6.) His fucking fly is open ...lord his customers would like to see that..

I just tippy toed into the kitchen...and he is still troubleshooting. But it looks like I may have to put everything that was in the fridge/freezer, on the snow covered cold deck for tonight. I have an upright freezer downstairs, so the freezer part is okay. But the fridge part might be a problem. But, he is a smart guy, I'll bet he get's it fixed tonight, if he has the parts he needs in his truck.

Now, he is defrosting our "frost free" fridge because there was an ice build up behind the walls from the do hinky that was causing the problem....with my hair dryer.

Opps...the cord from the hair dryer to the fridge was too short, I had to run to the garage and get an extention cord. Silence now, except from the annoying noise of the hairdryer. I warned him beforehand, how hot, the hairdryer gets if you don't know how to use the controls, I expect a tragedy..soon. Very soon, I can smell plastic, but I have been told to "mine my bidness"...okay I will sit here and type and "mine my bidness." But, I feel tragedy in the air...I can smell it, along with the plastic toxins.

He has turned it off now. The smell of plastic is subsiding. It's very quite in the kitchen, do I go and check, or do I stay here and wonder? I am only a few feet away in my office.

Nope, he is talking to himself. I hear mutterings of ..well just muttering I can't quite hear it, because I have the TV in the kitchen on at decibal levels that would put a senior citizens ears on fire.

I did that because when I was making supper in the kitchen, the fridge was running SO LOUD, I could not watch the 6 o'clock news. That's when I realized I had had a fucked up fridge. FUF.

We always joke about his customers who say to him "my fridge is only 15 years old and it's not working... but my old fridge worked for 1,567 years and never gave me a moments grief." Yeah, well they just don't make that way anymore butt heads.

He managed to hit the my hanging lamp and put it askew..ewww and put all his dirty tools on my emmaculate kitchen table. Then I took my butcher knife and stabbed his tool kit. I don't like clutter, I don't like a warm fridge, I don't like shit like this that seems to happen every day. Can't we just have a DAY..where nothing happens, nothing to talk about, nothing, nadda. Have supper, watch TV and go to bed. Never happens around here, it's alway one drama after the other.

He got it going... but has to put a new fan motor in plus some other stuff...Gord rules, now get those ugly tools off my table and straighten out the lamp shade. I'm such an ungratefull bitch.

Gord's uncle died this weekend. Another drama story. My fingers just don't have the energy to tell you the story today. But it's long and boring. I will sum it up in a few days.

As it has been for a few days...spellcheck doesn't work. Bear with me.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Hippychick has loaded me up with pics

So, it's a win win situation, you won't have to hear the drivel that usually eminates from my big fat mouth. Don't relax just yet, I might just say something stupid. After all, I wouldn't want to break my own record. And while I'm at it..let me spel something wrong..Okay done.

So, as I said many blog moons ago, hippychick moved to the country. She still works in the city until May, but lives in her country estate from Thursday to Sunday until she retires in May.

Okay..I got that out the way again. She is slowly making this home her own. She is so talented and has more power tools than a Journeyman Carpenter....and knows how to use them. I sort of snickered when she took a night course in Carpentry at our Community College, because before that she was taking hula dancing lessons and I didn't really want to see her hula dancing, you know what I mean? It's like your "folks" doing it! We have been friends for a trillion years, and I couldn't grasp it. But, of course I am the computer geek in the friendship while she has so many other interests. Mine don't involve getting off my ass, her's do. She will outlive me. I just hope she will be at my bedside when I am ill, and shave my moustache when those long bastard hairs interfere with my breathing tube. That's what friends are for.

I will there for her if she put's a nail in her head after using the ole Nail gun. Or if she accidentally saws off her her basement all by herself, and almost bleeds to death, before finally climbing up 45 stairs, gets to the phone, and calls for help...and only realizes the nearest help is like 40 miles away. No, this doesn't stress me out, it only adds to my admiration of her. She is her own person. And a friend I really admire, and I'm so sorry I am such a weak kneed friend, I just don't have her balls.

So here for your viewing enjoyment are some of the pics she sent me from the country, and some of the reno's she was doing... in This Old House. Plus Christmas pic's of a horse and carriage passing by her house and pictures of her backyard in winter.

The Gazebo in her back yard in winter.

Horse and carriage

Horse going back the other way. Isn't it a postcard picture? I'm saving it for next Christmas.

Her front room.

This weekend she framed all the windows, and built a window seat and bookcase underneath it. Would you believe the top of the window seat is part of a piano she found? Ever the dumpster diver...heh. She painted the rooms a few weeks ago, and now she is framing windows and building window seats with storage areas underneath it. I just know she will get a cat once she lives there permanently...every cat needs a window seat.
Did you notice the moon above the church next door? Isn't that beautiful.

She made all the casing for these windows too, plus the baseboards. And here I was worried she would get a nail in her head. Obviously she knows how to do shit.

This is just a transition pic from the front room to the kitchen.

I posted some pics of her house shortly after she moved in June, and she has got so much done already. I know she has a shit load of stuff planned for this summer.

Good job my friend. One weekend when the weather get's better I will have to come over, we will crank up a little Janis Joplin, sip some wine and check out the weed (s) in your garden. Unless you have a septic tank problem, then I'll be heading back home because I'm still a city girl at heart. :)