Saturday, April 30, 2005

If I could be....

Well, Joe I will try to do this for ya. By the way I'm nominating you for the Noble Prize...I love the responses you gave on your blog. For some reason, I cannot comment on anyone's blog. It started last weekend and I still can't. Anyone know what might be the problem? I emptied my temp files etc..but nada. I have no problem with it a work, so it's my computer at home problem.

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous Blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure

Sorry, I won't be able to give serious answers's too early to start drinking! come they left out 'If I could be an underpaid' Office Manager '( I have a lot to say on that subject)

1. If I could be a writer..
I sure as heck wouldn't be blogging and not be getting paid for it.

2. If I could be a chef:
I would follow in the footsteps of the greats .. like Emeril that guys a piece of work isn't he?
The only BAM on my show would be me shooting him in the left shoulder. I don't actually like to kill celebrity chefs, I prefer to "graze" them, so they can back for another week and bore the shit outta everyone.

If I could be a chef for real. I would be the NAKED CHEFFESS. Now the guy who does The Naked Chef, is a dirty rotten liar, because when y0u go to his web site...hims got all his clothes on fortheloveofmike!! I was getting all excited and stuff, and there is his picture with all hims clothes on...**&^#$ somoabitch! I on the other hand THE NAKED CHEFFESS.. WOULD BE NAKED would be seeing my rotund little belly all speckled up with little red spots where da grease hit me from the fryin pan and such. It would be reality cooking at it's finest. You'd see ole pieces of lettuce hanging from my ample boobs, smudged up with a little ketchup and stuff, whilst I whip up a big pot of "sloppy joes"...(no pun intended Joe). AND, on my Web-Site I would be bare nekid, not wearing a turtleneck sweater and smiling funny. No one would come away feeling a ripped off would be WYSIWYG TV.

3. If I could be an athlete: I would be dead. I have unopened boxes of rowing machines, stair climbers, etc. still sitting in my closet. I don't have the strength to open em. You see, it's all in the marketing, you order this stuff from the store, and it's all put together and shit. And, you think "how hard can it be to assemble this at home?" Well, I can't even open the friggin boxes! Therefore, If I could be an athlete... I would be able to open a box of sports equipment. Nuff said.

4. If I could be a musician: I wouldn't have an audience. Does "Tone Deaf" give you a hint. I can't hold a tune nor can I hold a beat. I'm always snapping my fingers to the the wrong places. When I dance, I am still dancing a few minutes after the song is over, because I am still trying to catch up to the beat. In school, the teachers did not discriminate if you could not hold a tune in choir...all they did is take you aside and tell you to "mouthe" the words and pretend to be singing...fuckers.. and that made me sing even louder..dinks.
If I could be a real musician I would probably combine my talents and sing whilst I was cooking in my Naked Cheffess show.

5. If I could be a Librarian: I would make it a rule that all the books were filed in Alphabetical order...or do they do that now? NOT by author...because if I don't know who wrote the book, how will I ever find it. I would make another sssshhhing...I loves to talk in a library...farting, and belching are just plain rude, I wouldn't allow that, but talking must be allowed. I would also see to it that all the Librarians take thier broomsticks outta their asses and don't be throwing me "those looks" when I explain ...very politely mind you... that my books are not overdue...they are just a day or two late. Pregnant women get "overdue", books don't.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Long time see

I have been in a gridlock.. nothing is flowing out of these fingers lately..I posted two blogs this week and deleted them..because they were lame. I have way too much going through my head. It's finally Friday, and I can relax, get my shit together after another stressfull week.

Actually, my boss was away and I could have blogged my pants off at work, but yaknow... I can't blog a word at work till I get home to me own computer and my own digs...I need to be here, at home to get the juices flowing.

So, ole juicy Joanie off to order in terrific pizza...start a fire in the fireplace and watch a lame movie....or if Gord's get his way..Larry King...(and he won't) because I have a hammer ready..and I know how to use it..

Shit... he and the dog already cuddled up on the couch...gotta fly....

I have to get my head together for tomorrow...I have stuff to SAY....count on it

Monday, April 25, 2005

Monday Morning blues.....and it's snowing

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Well, that's Gord in the "shitter' this morning...looking for the ass-wipe..we have to get indoor plumbing sometime soon!... Actually that rear end looks really familar, I think I know this guy!!

The weekend was uneventful, other than finishing up the income tax crap. I want everyone who reads this to get DOWN..on your hands and knees and PRAY that we do not get audited this year. I, in my infinite wisdom decided not to use Quicken for our accounting needs this year...only because me old puter crashed, and when I got the new puter, the old Quicken disk would not work, because it was from 1929 or was old. And, I was too cheap to buy a new one and did everything in Excel.

The wise thing to do would have been to do the accounting at the end of every month. Oh, no, way to easy...I would rather leave it to the end of the year and have stacks of file folders, bank statements ...blahhhh..AND try to remember where every dollar went. nuff....I'm so sick and tired of working all day, and doin books at night...I think we might need an accountant..who doesn't make up stuff like I do..he he.

I got me a little SIDE BLOG thing happening, I haven't put anything much in it was wondering today, what am I going to put in it?.... I really don't have much else to say other than in my was "free"..splains that I guess. I REALLY want a nice looking blog like the most of you have...I love all of them, especially ms is soo cool...all on linen looking paper and such...and the graphics blow me away...I want THAT.. I am a total graphics HD is just loaded up with them. I used to use them for computer scrapping, but since I started blogging I haven't had much time for that.

I guess it's time in the next few weekends to clean up the back 40. I have this huge garden that I am going to convert to a flower garden..or..sod it over with grass. It was my Mom and Dad's garden ...after they retired I offered it them, because there was no "green" to be seen on my thumb...and after they died, I have been trying to uphold ..the planting tradition of the garden planting...weeding...watering..blight...slugs..and all things gardening. I have decided I did not get the gardening gene from my parents....I f*kn hate's hot, tiresome, I get bit by "yellow-jackets" and swell up for a week..I have no ambition to keep it going...I love the market garden down the street! ...face it..I am lazy..

I ALMOST started talking about my mom here as she died 5 years after my dad died..and never got over it.. and we worked in the garden together without dad.....but this is not the blog to do would have loved her...sweet, soft, caring....and overlooked all my wonderful mom!! miss her a whole bunch, especially in spring ...when I see the empty garden.

Now, getting back to regular programming...I'm watching Gone With the Wind..part 2..on CBC tonite...and Scarlett had just made a dress from the drapes in Tara.... I love this movie..I'm going to sit down in my ratty ole recliner and wallow in it.

gotta fly....thanks for listening to my rambling !!

Friday, April 22, 2005



Read this question, come up with an answer. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right-including me. (but I'm a dumbo)..and if you have seen this test flying around the are not qualified for my special honest now.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?(Give this some thought before you answer)...

and iffn you get it right...I will have a special prize for you..only I can, it's not a cruise on the Sarah Cee...cause she's already in boat heaven..or make that hell.


Just taking it easy fav day of all. Just taking some time out after running the dog....think I might have over done it...being sedentary most of the week and then getting a gym blast makes a old body weak...

I had a pretty good week, considering we had mice in the boss took such joy in showing them to me when he found them in his waste paper basket...he actually took pictures of them with his new blackberry thingofamajig...that thing takes pictures fergodsake..we're goin to hell in a handbasket I tell's you...nothing is sacred anymore....mice can't even of some peace of mind having a little lunch of banana peels and such in a garbage can...and you got some asshole snapping pics of them..

Of course when he discovered them, he turned into a little school boy who wants to scare the little schoolgirls....he brought out the garbage can into MY SPACE...and said ...guess what's in here....well, having not just fell off the turnip truck...I said...I think it's and elephant....noooo he say's, guess again, it much smaller. Prick......he say's it much smaller than an elephant, with an evil grin ...I said..."do you think?", "get that garbage can out of my face"!!!! NOW.. He retreated to his office and once in there he said "hey, I only thought there was one, now I can see three little ones" bastard......(I didn't say that)...but what I said was...John, why don't we just put the garbage can outside on the lawn and set them free...he saw I was getting a little emotional...and then as I was about to go for lunch, he said they wouldn't be there when I got back. I knew he killed them...and we didn't talk about it later. When I got back from lunch I saw there were traps set out in the warehouse, which is fine with me...because I don't like mice all over and in my stuff, but I also could never kill a live mice in a garbage can, is all I'm saying, I'd rather just put the can out in the field behind us and let them do what they do....They only came in our place because our electrician left the overhead door open for a few days when it was nice, while they were taking, they didn't mean to come in a bug us.....

Ahhhh, I'm a sucker for anything with fur on it.....speaking of furry...Gord just got you think I should set a trap??? LOL....nahhhh did that 35 years ago when we got married...and it didn't work then.. I just trapped myself...funny how life goes around, isn't it?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The fun continues

This is where we wanted to be...Gimli Harbour...and on this pic which I got from the internet it only shows one stinking boat at the pier..why were we rushing?....

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As I was crying my fool head off, the ship that was supposed to come to save us radioed us and told us they were on the way. they told us to keep the lights shining up and they would be there in about an hour providing the lake wasn't too rough. It was rough...and I praise the guy on the other end of the radio who kept us all sane...he gave us his position, and put his sky lights on and told us if we could see him he would be able to find us for sure. It took about an hour, radioing back and forth, when I finally saw a glimmer in the sky way to the north, I told him approximately what direction I could see him from. He said he had just spotted our lights too. Thank the took another hour before we finally met up with each other. Now the trick was to get the tow rope on board our boat for him to tow us. We couldn't get too close to each other as we were rocking and rolling all over the place, and he didn't want us smashing into his boat. He fortunaltely was a seasoned sailor...and managed to throw us the rope (two times) mind you, before we caught it and tied it up to the bow. I assure you, by this time ...we were very sober little arseholes......then the trek to the harbour began....and big time bailing all the way there.

We finally arrived at Gimli Harbour around 5:00AM in the morning...limping behind our saviour boat. Now the dilemma was how do we get into the harbour without crashing into all the other boats, because we were still behind him. So what he did was pull along side of us and lashed on to us and pulled our boat right on to his, so we could get into the harbour without incident. All went well until he had us pushed against the pier, and some wave action started to happen between the two boats and we started bashing each other...that was soooo scary...the guy kept yelling........pull the ropes tighter..tighter...and finally the boat stopped rocking...and we were SAFE.....Nestled in the pier...but of course we were still sinking because we didn't have any power to our bilge pumps... Next step....PLUG THE BITCH IN...

We plugged Sarah into the electrical power on the pier...........bilge pumps came on....and a very weary crew emerges from the bowels of this boat...and try to say hip hip hurray!....some look look like they have just been through a war....dirty, muddy, and a little out of it. They were suffering from a hangover, dizzy from smelling the ether we had to use to try to get the diesel engine going on the lake, and jest ole plain tuckered out. Finally we were all tied up the pier and no more disaster seemed to be at hand, and we took stock of the boat. The galley had a lot of water in it, but now that the bilge pumps were working it was going down..crap was strewn everywhere from the waves hitting the boat. My sister in law, who had been one of the gallant ones bailing in the engine room was feeling very sick, probably from the ether smell and all the stress, and she started to puke, and was the kind people on the other boat phoned the ambulance and took her to the hospital for observation...along with her husband. The rest of us were so damn tired we didn't know what to do with ourselves, so we all just crashed on the bunks, they were still dry...only the floor got all wet. I slept until about 4:00 in the afternoon, but the guys only slept a few hours and got right back into the bowels of the ship to see what the problem was, and how it could be fixed. They found the leak that caused the water to come into the fuel tanks, and managed to fix it a few hours later. It took a lot of time trying to purge all that water out of the fuel tanks...and it stunk like diesel fuel in the boat..By 6:00 PM SIL was back from the hospital, feeling much better...and we all needed something to eat...we had not eaten since the night before at Lockport. We had the barbeque in the back of the boat that was still standing, but it didn't have a lid anymore, but it still worked. We fired it up, and put on our steaks and potatoes, and had one hell of a meal.. and then crashed for the night. The bilge pumps had cleared out all the water out of the galley by then, so we could walk down there, but it was still pretty wet. Next morning, we all had a big breakfast, and started over. The guys were still tinkering with the side tank that had caused the problem, and still were not sure it was drained out enough for this not to happen again, if we were out in rough waters. So, Sunday was good, we went out the beach, sunbathed on the pier..etc..and had a great supper that night.

Now, it's Monday...time to hit the road...or the lake..

We left Gimli about 3:00 and it only takes about an hour to cross the lake to get back to the mouth of the go back home. We left Gimli harbour. An hour later when we were within about 30 feet of the dock at the mouth of the river, the engine..sputtered and sputtered...and quit...and all was quite again....FUCK.. Once again we were floundering on the lake. As luck would have it there were a few motor boats at the dock and saw we were having a few problems, we got there attention and asked it they could tow us in to the dock. One very kind gentleman and his wife and kids in a huge motorboat said they would. We threw off the rope once more, and they towed us to the dock. Well, needless to say, water had once again seeped in the fuel tanks!!!!! They guys knew where the problem was, but couldn't do much about it until we got home, and actually drained those tanks and closed them off...we didn't have the tools etc. on hand to do it properly. They worked on it for about an hour, and finally we got her going again..a huge HURRAH..went up...we were back in business...We started back home, which would be another 5 hours down the windy ole Red River...we weren't to scared on the river, as there was no waves like on the lake. And if something would have happened, at least we would only be a few feet from shore. So we just puttered along.

Okay then, we were heading for the home stretch, it was around 10:00 PM when we were approaching our dock ....we made a big U turn on the river so we could dock it facing the front of the dock....and guess what...sputter...sputter..sputter..again...just the surge of the U turn caused water to get into the fuel again.....wellfortheloveofmike!!!! BIL, who was running the boat, just used the momentum and steered her in as close as he could, and the guys jumped off on to the dock and we threw them the ropes and tied her down.....THE BITCH!! We were home...and alive..and we had stories to tell...phewwww... We were tired, we didn't even bother taking our stuff off the boat...we all went up to BIL house, for a drink...we really needed one...we all sat on the deck for about an hour and recounted what had happened. Finally around 12:00 Gord and I got up and went home...dragging our tails behind the next day was a work day......

When we got home, I was about to unlock the back door (that was unlocked), when I saw a piece of paper on the door held up by a bandaid from my cousin who was looking after our said...Joan, I came over on Sunday night to find that your house had been broken into. I called the police and they have been here, but call them back tomorrow. Call me.

I just couldn't believe it....after a weekend of hell, I had to come home to this.....they stole our TV, Stereo, microwave.....etc...and there was cat shit everywhere, they must of scared it right out of my cats...poor things.......Of course calls had to be made to my cousin, police etc....and finally we went to bed........So, that was our weekend on the Sarah was never so much the ships fault as it was the owners...they just didn't appreciate her little quirks...and she had many more...but I will post them another time...because I cannot believe I actually got back on that boat after THAT...but I did....and I'm still here to talk about it..........

We were young and stupid, stupid people......but now that we are older, I can see we are not that much wiser...we still do stupid stuff....we were meant for each other!!! yeah...rite

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

And the fun began

And the fun began

Caption Highliner...

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Gord decided as Caption of the ship he would have to dress the part, much to my dismay. I also find the picture rather disturbing as apparently their is no one at the wheel, he is standing there drinking and smoozing with one of the hundreds of friends over the next three years that would be aboard the boat.

Before we actually set off alone with Sarah, the inlaws took us for a cruise to show us the ropes. It was a long weekend so they thought they would have plenty of time to show us stuff we didn't already know. Now, in order to go on a boat trip, there are a lot of preparations to be made. First you have to get diesel have to move the boat to a point in the river that a fuel truck can fill you up.


Then you get back to the dock in front of the rich inlaws homes and start hauling stuff down a huge riverbank....with a gully in between...that has a 12 inch plank over it, then down to the river bank. Now, for a three day cruise, you have to have food for six...booze for 100 (because contrary to popular belief, booze and boating go together). You can never have enough rum. You have to take mix for the rum, and ice for the rum. Okay, then next is your bedding, clothes, etc. toothbrushes...pot, pans, you name it...back down to THAT THAR boat. Up and down the hill, a hundred fucking times.

Our destination is Gimli Manitoba on Lake Winnipeg. We are now on the Red River probably 80 miles away. Just to point out the Red River is a slow going windy river that flows out into to Lake Winnipeg. It will take at least 5 hours to get the mouth of the river that flows into Lake Winnipeg, which I must tell you now, is one of the most trecherous lakes in Manitoba for boaters, as it is shallow, and when the winds come up, it gets very unstable...anywho..

We set off approximately 5:3o on Friday. It was a beautiful evening, we traveled down the river to our first stop before entering the lake, which was Lockport. By this time we had consumed vast amounts of that is the rule in boating, the darker the rum, the better you can navigate a 40 foot boat. In Lockport we have to stop, and wait for the locks to open, they open "on" the hour. As were are waiting, we have a "little" lunch...then when the Lockmaster gives you the go ahead you have to throw him your ropes, because you are going to be going down to get to the other side of the river which is much higher. But, for some reason once we started the boat up again we couldn't stop it and tried to get it in reverse to slow it down enough for the guys to catch the ropes. So, our brother in law jumped on to the landing and grabbed Gord's arms as he was standing in the boat and pulled , and they managed to get the boat to move to the side of the locks preventing from us hitting the boats in front of us. (yes that really happened) Gord, now has longer arms than most men. Finally we got the boat back into control ...and with some embarrassment we were lowered through the locks and back up with anymore incidents. Okay, now this near tragedy called for some more rum.. and off we went down the Red River, past Selkirk, to the mouth of the Red River and on our way to Lake Winnipeg, and then to Gimli. Once we were at the mouth of the Red River, going into Lake Winnipeg there is dock for boaters to tie up to ....waiting for coast guard reports to see if the lake is safe. Any huge winds can blow you off course or sink ya. We anchored there for awhile, this must have been around 11:00 PM, and talked with the other boaters. They said they didn't think they wanted to navigate Lake Winnipeg at night, because shit is bound to happen. We, on the other hand wanted to go for it, because we knew once we got to Gimli, any chance of docking at the Gimli pier would be minimal...because the town was having a festival. What most boats would do if they couldn't dock on the pier, is they would tie up with another boat beside them, but that made it difficult to get out of your boat...and would always be having to ask the next door boat owner if you could come aboard and run through their boat to get to the pier.'s harder explaining this than I thought...and probably giving more information than you needed to know!!

So... I am going to take a little short cut here and get down to the chase.....

Because we were a little greedy (we wanted to dock on the pier) and plus we were pretty drunk, we decided to head out to sea...or lake as it was. It was only an hour trip from the mouth of the river to Gimli, how hard could that be?

About a mile into Lake Winnipeg, the winds came up...nothing more than Sarah could handle, but it was choppy. (After all this was Sarah's territory..she had been born and bred on Lake Winnipeg). Then all of a sudden the engine started to sputter..the guy's went down into the engine room to see what the clatter was about...and then the engine quit... it was very quite. All the lights went out in the cabins and we were rocking and rolling on the lake. The guys were frantically trying to get the engine started again, but that was not going to happen. Somehow water had got into the unused side tanks ...when she had sunk once before.....and once we were out to sea..Billy...all that rocking and rolling sent some of that water in the fuel tanks...and water and diesel fuel don't mix. The weather continued to get worse and the waves were getting bigger. Of course, now the bilge pumps weren't working because we didn't have any power, and because this was a leaky old boat, a bilge pump was of the essence. Water started to come in the engine room. We had a radio, and made a mayday call to the coast guard on Lake Winnipeg. The coast guard was way out in the northern part of the lake and could not help us immediately. At this point it was getting pretty hairy, the boat was being slapped by big waves and we were getting sea sick. We had a barbecue on the back deck, and when one of the waves hit, the lid popped open and tore the lid right off. We got all the containers we could find and started to bail the engine room. My job was to be on the radio with the coast guard while they were trying to find someone to come out and get us. I will never forget the scene in the galley below me....we had fruit and stuff on the table beforehand...and with all the wave action and such it had all fallen off the table fruit was floating on the floor of the kitchen..(galley).. we were fucking sinking...I panicked.....I started to run for the life jackets...and I could only find 4...there was 6 of us. I kept on trying to get everyone to put on their jackets and they ignored me, they just said get back on the radio, and we have to keep on bailing.. Finally the coast guard got a hold of boat in the Gimli Harbour about the same size as ours that was willing to come out and try to tow us in... I was jubilant...we were saved...not so quick...they asked our position...we did not know, as we had been drifting for half an hour or so. My BIL thought he could figure it out because before they had bought the boat they had taken a course and part of it was navigating by the stars...but as fate would have it...he was so terribly sea sick from the wave action he could hardly stand. But he did get on the radio with them and told them he was pretty sure he knew how far we had drifted and which way. He told them we had battery powered emergency lights equipped with the boat that shone up into the sky... so the coast guard sent these guys out and told us to put our lights on and they would see if they could find us. I was crying, I just wanted my mom....

I will finish this tomorrow...and remind me not to do this is way to time consuming...:)

Monday, April 18, 2005

The Saga continues....

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As you can see from the picture, we were preparing for our maiden voyage...that would be Gord underneath the hull, pulling off old rotten boards, replacing them, and calking the rest.  After that we had to paint the entire hull with some kind of boat paint...I never thought this would be a yearly ritual, but it was. 

You see Sarah Cee was never suited out to be a yacht, for the rich and famous...she was just a big ole steel boat with a huge mother diesel engine, that was designed to run Lake Winnipeg, with the Board of fisheries of Manitoba as an inspection boat.  She was used as a back up to the coast guard, but that was not her main duty.  She would sail way back into Northern Manitoba to keep tabs on fisheries on the lake.  When we got her, she had already been overhauled, we never saw her in the original state.  Everything had been changed by the former owner the in-laws bought her from.

When I say in-laws, who put us up to this...I should clarify ...It was Gord's brother and his wife, and Gord's sister and her husband.  They were were very well off ..and Gord and I were struggling to get ahead at that time.   They both  lived on river propertys in huge houses, beside each other, and had room for a boat.  So, when their lives got way to busy while building their empires..we were given the option of taking care of Sarah..or they just didn't like us that much and wanted to see us die in the murky waters of the Red Red River..


Sunday, April 17, 2005

Sarah Cee..the Boat That Wouldn't Float Part 1

Welcome to our nightmare.

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I mentioned on MaryLou's blog, that one of my fav. books was "The Boat That Wouldn't Float, by Farley Mowat and it was this book that paralled our experience with the Sarah Cee.

In the picture Sarah, seems to be quietly nestled in the harbour, my mom is standing on the back deck looking out on the all seems to be so serene. You don't want to know what happened next morning.

You see we inherited this 40 ft. leaky boat from hell, from Gord's in-laws providing we could keep her afloat, and if not, they were going to sink her. And for some stupid reason we said hmmm..okay, how hard can it be to keep a boat afloat. We spent three long summers trying to to keep Sarah from her demise. You see she had a wooden hull, not a good thing, but we didn't know that. Wood, shmood, who cares, we got a boat for free!!...and a big one. The first summer when she became our "other only child from hell" we took her out of dry dock, and she sunk immediatley...we had instructions from our in-laws of what to do if she sunk, but iffin you are new to this, and don't even know how to drive the's pretty hairy.. Apparently she has to go down first and suck up some water to get all the dry wood on her hull soaked up with water, and then after when the bilge pumps come on and pump out the water, things start to get better? After about 24 hours later, Gord, myself and the in-laws got her bobbing on top of the water. Whahooooooooooo....

Now, don't get me wrong, she was purty little thing, she had a beautiful galley, fridge, stove, cuboards and all, and built in eating area...behind that a sleeping area for two...and on one side of the eating area there were double bunks plus a long sofa underneath for sitting and such. She had a nice bathroom. In the wheel house there was a long bench sofa which could be used as a sleeping area as well. So, she was pretty well outfitted when we got her. Her hull was a little rusty to my thinking, but I thought ... a little paint...etc. I could get her in ship shape once again.

After she was bobbing for a day or two, the in-laws started giving us little lessons on how to navigate Sarah...she was a good ole girl...she took to us pretty quick and we to her. Having been on her with the in-laws before they gave her to us to use, we had some idea of what the hazards were, because old boats are so high maintenace and Gord often helped fixing this and that, so we had a clue....but....not really...let's face it..we didn't have a clue in the cluescloset what the next three years would bring. (we are sore loosers..we didn't give up that quick.)

Being that this is a really long story, and it's 11:00 pm I will try to finish it this week in a few chapters with some more pictures. It really pisses me off that at that time we were using a crappy old movie camera for everything and I don't have as many pictures of her as I would have liked to show..especially when we was sinking......lordy...the times we had. And I have to thank me lucky stars I'm still here to tell about it.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Dear Diary

Today April 14th, 2005, would make it 43 years since I met Gord...OMG.. I feel like that mistake only happened yesterday...(small attempt at humour)...anywho I have scanned my diary entry on that date. I am not too sure you can read it and I might have to photobucket again.

I was 1962 I was 17 years old.

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It is obvious from my handwriting at the time that I should have spent a little more time learning penmanship...but I think I was writing this on my bed at 3:00 AM in the morning after a heavy necking session, and a few (refreshments as I used to call them) under me belt. My parents were away for the weekend as you might guess. As I was reading it I was quite amazed how easy it was to get a guy's ring to go steady...some heavy necking, some refreshments...and are stuck with me for 43 fucking years!!!! or..let's put it this way...I am stuck with you for 43 F*ng years....

If you can't read it..and if this is still of interest to you, it read:

Dear Diary:

Met Gordie and the guys (meaning my girlfriends sort of boyfriend Melvin and Gord and his friend Mart) real late around 12:00, they were in Neche (small town in North Dakota that served minors) and got booze. They came down after they were in Glens (meaning they had a burger at Glens restaurant, and came over to my house..knowing I was "home alone with my girlfriend" because my parents were out of town). They had Mart with them too. (they ditched Mart) Well, we had refreshments and a ball ...I put that in my diary in case my parents might read it...I was fooling those silly parents into thinking I was drinking OJ...yup..I thought I was fooling them.... They only left around 2:30 boy, was it a ball!! (meaning we got pretty close to "doing it..but didn't" ) I have got Gordie's ring now! I really like him alot. We are going steady! Bye

When I was reading further, I must of had a trillion BALLS....everything was such fun..

On one entry I wrote..."when I said I had a ball, it only means that I had a" I was confessing my lies... I actually talked to my diary like a friend.

Another entry about 6 months later...was Dear Diary...the novelty has worn off, but I still like him....go figure...and I married him ten years later.

43 years later.... Dear Diary

April 14th, 2005

Gord just got home, and was telling me how he scored a "flap" thingie for our air conditioner in the van that was broken...original cost was 300.00 bucks, and he got it at the wreckers for 20.00. He was standing right beside me at the computer as I was writing this...and I nodded mindlessly and said, 'wow, what a good deal"and then he went on to tell me in great detail, how he took the part off of the old van at the wreckers and when he was finally finished, I said "Happy Anniversary"..and he got that "deer in the headlights look" and said .."what anniversary", I explained ..and he said, "how do you remember that shit?" I don't really know how I remembered this today, I turned the little calendar I have on my desk at work, and somehow the date rang a bell, I went home and got out my old diary...and I was right!! All he said was .. "holy shit"...and then headed off the bathroom to ...have one....

Dear Diary.... the novelty has worn off once again.......but I still like him a lot..

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Bad Hair Day

I think I'm back on track, I spend at least two hours on my last post. It's hard writing posts that bring back good and bad memories. It's much easier being glib. So, I'll stick to that for awhile. That large humongeous, ugly boil has receded to a mere pimple now, but still is sore. I put peroxide on it, and was surpised that it stung so. I spilled it all over me private parts, so now my pub hair match my naturally blonde head of hair...(cough) ... That was until 1 hour ago, when I decided to change my LOOK...yesterday I bought me a hair makeover kit. It's the L'Oreal 6.2 Multi-tonal colour system, I chose a shade I thought would be appropriate for a woman my age.. "Praline". Now, when I picked "Praline" I was thinking about ice-cream not a hair colour. When I have Praline ice-cream, it is a darkish creamy colour, but unfortunately once you apply Praline hair colour to previously bleached blonde grey turned a magnificent colour of a rusted out Edsel..fortheloveofmike...but there was still a glimmer of hope gettin outta this...After all I bought the multi-tonal colour system, which meant after the colour is done, you apply streaks to the botched up colour job. They give you a little stick with a spiral brush on it, and you dip it in a lethal substance of white powder, strangely resembling "coke"...I took a snort, but all it did was bleach my nose hair, but I did feel a bit light headed after that. The instructions show, that you take this stick thing and take a few strands of hair and brush it through the strand. Well, for pitysake these broads in the picture have hair down to there butt. How the hell I am going to brush through 1/2 and inch? I just slathered the brush in a downward fashion over me bangs and hoped for the best. While I was waiting for the results I checked the word "hope" in the dictionary, just to see if there is such a said "desire accompanied by expectations" ..yeah well I.did.not. EXPECT to look like a friggin skunk..and I do. Call me "Flower." I look more like the word that follows hope in my was hop-head. So, I'm guessing to complete my LOOK, I should go out and get my face tattooed. Might cover up some of those wrinkles...who knows.

Off, to do a little blog walk, I am so far behind. If I don't get to it tonight, I'm hoping my boss will be golfing tomorrow and I got the whole place to myself..

For Abie

A dear old next door neighbour in Altona

He's the bald one in middle the bottom..guy on far right is me dad..

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When I lived in Altona, we had a neighbor next door named Abie Zacharias, who lived alone in a huge old ramshackle house. Abie was a teacher until WW11 came along and enlisted in the army.

I didn't know him very well, until my dad bought a piece of property from him, and we build a house next door. After the war when Abie came home, his job was gone and he had a hard time getting work. He did odd jobs for the Municipality and the town. He started to drink, and was an alcoholic all his life from that point on. He was know around town for his eccentricity, drinking, his extremely good nature, and his intelligence. I know intelligence does not seem to fit the picture, but he was extremely "smart." The booze got in his way.

Abie was a voracious reader, and would, on his "good days" let me choose some books to read from his huge library upstairs. He knew I loved to read, and encouraged me keep reading. Getting to his library upstairs was at best "tricky," you would have to climb an incredibly steep set of stairs, which had some of the steps missing, and the rest in disrepair. Once up there, it was like going back in time 100 years. Shabby bookcases full of books lined every wall in the room. There were books in boxes, in paper cartons, and stacked 3 to 4 feet high in the corners. The room always smelled musty and of old paper. The lace curtains were yellow with age and torn, the windows filthy. Abie, was born in this house, and I am sure those were still his mother's curtains in the window. The first time I went up to the library, I was pretty scared, but I really wanted to see his books, so my mom came with me the first time. After that I couldn't wait for an invitation to borrow a book. I remember being so excited when he gave me a huge pile of his old teaching text books. I always "played" school with the neighour kids (and of course, because I am so damn bossy) I was always the teacher. So, now I had text books....and to top it off...all the answers were in the back of the book, because they were designed for teaching.

In school, I was a very average student, sometimes below average, and I took such delight in playing school and handing questions to my students....then look up the answers in the back of the book....and mark a nice big X..beside their wrong answers. I felt so dang smart!!! I mostly played with a family of 7 kids two doors down. They were DIRT poor, didn't have a father and were being raised on welfare by their mother. Because they were so poor, unkempt, and rowdy I always thought they were dumb. I felt so superior, because we lived in a new house and they lived in a shack. What a snob I was. Year's later after I moved to Winnipeg and was working at one of my bean counter jobs, they hired a new accountant, who had come highly recommended by another firm. We were introduced, and his name rang a bell, but I couldn't put my finger on it, until one day he mentioned Altona, and we got to talking ... and here this nice upstanding young man, was one of my "play school" pupils. Apparently all the other 6 kids were doing well and thriving. I really felt like such a fool. These were the kids we all made fun of, and laughed at in front and behind their backs. A good lesson was learned.

I digress..

Because Abie was a "binge" drinker, he would be sober for months...then fall off the wagon and we wouldn't see him for weeks. My dad always took care of him though. He would go over there to check on him after two or three days had lapsed and Abie was nowhere to be seen. All sorts of people could be seen coming and going from his house when he was on a spree. There was "Falkyadereck" a town drunk as well, who was missing a few marbles, and then old Jack and his wife Rosey used to show up and have the hugest fights after a few drinks...and also some very prestigious town officials used to come by, especially on a Sunday when the pub was closed, because Abie was also the town bootlegger. Then there also another man who was a regular, his name was Ben. Ben was a painter by trade, but suffered from what we now know as schizophrenia. In those days he was just called "Mental Ben". Ben would be in and out of the Selkirk Mental hospital for most of his life. He was always released when his condition stabilized and then he would come back to town, and pick up a few paint jobs. Once he had a few bucks in his pocket he started drinking too. I remember you had be careful talking to him about certain subjects, especially the Viet Nam that set him off...he would start yelling and screaming about VIETYETNAM as he called it. He was a character. I heard not too long after my parents moved to Winnipeg, that he had hung himself from a tree in his back yard. I was so sad. It's feels funny to write this, because it didn't even seem weird at the time, that is just how it was ... next door.

Abie lived on the left side of our house and on the right was another batchelor. His name was Bill Kehler a wonderful kind gentleman as you would want to meet. He was a straight up shooter, he had a beer or two, but was not like the others. He had a very good job at our Sunflower Seed Plant in town. He was in charge of the chemistry things that went on...he was very smart too...and smart enough not to drink like a pig. I will never forget the Christmas morning when my parents gave me a plush fussy gold sweater I had been dreaming and begging for.. and of course, I always got crafty stuff as well for xmas. This time is the the ole paint by number kit. First thing in the morning I put my new sweater on..over my jammers..and started to do shit like that at Christmas try everything at once..while stuffing your face with nuts and stuff. Well, as I was painting my masterpiece, I got a huge blob of red oil paint on my NEW sweater....and the first think mom says...that won't come's oil. I start to wail.....she is a dibbing and a dabbing at it...and it's only going further....AND THIS WAS THE SWEATER THAT WAS GOING TO MAKE GUYS THINK I WAS COOL!!...finally Dad thought of Bill next door, Dad always asked Abie and Bill in for a "schnerkle" as we called it then after our Xmas breakfast. He said just wait till Bill gets here and maybe he can get it out. I couldn't wait, I ran to Bill's house and asked him if he could get the paint out of my sweater. He asked me what had happened and I told him. So he said, go home and I will come over for the Xmas schnerkle and see what I come up with. And ya know, he came back with my brand new gold fuzzy fleecy sweater, with not a drop of paint on it...God luv em....I always did. Nuttin like a batchelor...

My mom would invite Abie for supper at least once a month, along with other older bachelors in the neighborhood that didn't have anyone in their lives. We used to great fish fry's and long conversations about how things when they were young. My brother and I would spend hours listening to them. Come to think of it, there sure were a lot of bachelors...hmmm maybe they were gay?? who knew...

You would always know when Abie was getting off a bender. He had a old brick firepit behind his house and he would cook himself a huge pot of Farmer Sausage Borscht. He would hang the pot on a hook and let er rip!! It always smelled so good, and he offered mom some everytime he would made it, but she always refused, because hmmmmm his kitchen wasn't too clean...Sometimes he would just bring over a small pot full, so she had to take it...I can't remember what she did with tho.

I remember when my parents sold our house in Altona and moved to Winnipeg. I came back home to help them move. When were all packed up and ready to go, Abie came over and wished us well, and I can still see him waving goodbye, looking so forlorn. We kept in touch with him over the years, I always sent him cards letting him know what I was reading, and by whom. He always liked to quiz me on the books I read....I still miss those conversations. After we moved he had the old house torn down, and sold the property and moved into a seniors centre. Not too much changed in his life, other than he could no longer make the long trek to the Liquor Store so he got an electric scooter and was able to navigate the town with ease. I got a call one day from my In Laws who still lived out there, and they said Abie had died. He was on his way home on his scooter and a car backed off a driveway and tipped him off his scooter. Apparently he wasn't badly hurt, but after two days in the hospital he died from the shock of the accident. I talked to a friend later who lives next door where the accident took place. She said Abie got up after the scooter tipped, and sat back down in it, and shakily lit a cigarette and then asked her if she had seen a small brown bag. She found the bag on the ground and gave it too him. He opened the bag and took out a bottle and had a long drink....and then the ambulance came.

Rest in peace old friend.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

I have a boil on my ass

Yes, I do!!.. and it's making sitting very difficult at the moment. I hope I didn't catch something sitting on a strange toliet seat. I'ts getting better today, but I have been doing a lot of standing for the last two days. Better there, than on my face I guess. That's me...always lookin on the bright side!

Hopefully by tomorrow, I can sit longer than 15 minutes...that other cheek gets mighty sore carrying my blubber and all.

Until tomorrow....


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Got my new glasses today

Actually, I only had new lenses put in my old frame..which I believe are "still" fashionable in today's world..not too big..but yet still small enough to be cool...and it cost $350.00 for lenses only!! This time I got the no scratch coating, and the non glare that means I will be able to drive at night..and not see little prisms of glare from other drivers headlights in my eyes....and if it doesn't work, make sure your children and loved ones are not on the streets when I'm doing my test drive. I looked in the mirror today after I got the new lenses, and I actually got to see my eyes...usually there is a glare coming off...blah..probably my imagination to offset the big price...screw it.....

You would have laughed at my old glasses I was wearing while I was waiting for the lenses to be made....they were "HUGE", but very fashionable in 1995. They were wire frames, huge, made with real glass, weighed about 40 lbs....and tinted "Rose"..all hippy like..worked for me..or worked for me then. I wore these glasses for 3 days while waiting for my new lenses to be put in my old frames, and I had such a huge headache, they were so heavy and gouged into my nose....people were even lookin at me stupid...including my dog. When I first put on the old glasses my dog looked at me kind of peculiar....yaknoo when dogs cock their head to one side...and seem to say..whatwereyouthinking!! grasshopper, then their tail goes down...and they growl...

Okay then, it's all going fine now....I can see ya'all need to poop up your fonts to 120 or so.

Worst part of having progressive lenses, in the beginning that sometimes "things don't alway appear like they seem"...take a staircase.. you are going down a step....and when you take a step down and mistake the stair beneath it for the one you meant to step on loose your balance and do a huge"face plant" and that is why older peeps have flat faces.. yup.. Progressive lenses have a range from top to - is to see farrrrrr away... like China. ...middle range .. is the important sucker..used for driving and going down stairs .. ..and last but not least the bottom range...(biofocial stuff ) to READ..shit.. very important part in my life..

Time to hit the sack...this daylite savings time has just frigging screwed up my mind...but it doesn't take much to do you may have gathered..

Folding up my tent
...might watch curling before I go to bed.. big game going on TV right now...or maybe not...I'd rather stick a sharp toothpick in my temple..

Monday, April 04, 2005

Let's just call this "Shit Sunday"

Me and the Mr. were snoring away this morning in our snuggly warm water bed, the dog was tucked under the covers and life felt just right!! The birds were singing, and a few geese flying south were "honking" just loud enough to wake me up a remind me I had to go to the bathroom. That's not a bad thing. However, just as I returned to my bed of warmness, the phone rang, it was a guy who wanted to buy something the Mr. had put in the evil "Buy and Sell" newspaper. I swear to God if he ever puts more crap for sale in that I paper I will take a long stick and poke his eyes out! People in Winnipeg will buy anything, as long as it looks like a, we got our sorry selves up, had a shower etc. and Gord goes to the basement to find the items this guy wanted....only to find our basement covered in 2 inches of water...this is not just a basement, this is a rec room...and is now know as the wreck room. It was always an ugly kind of a room but it came with the what can I say. I don't particularly like living underground, so I was never to fond of said room. So, before we could even have breakfast Gord had to get all the stuff he was selling upstairs, which fortunately was not soaked, and he lined it all up in the living room for the guys perusal. After the buyer left (and he bought it all..$450.00) bucks worth of electronic equipment left over from Gord's dad's estate) oop's guess the Buy and Sell is not that evil..but I have other issues with it to be discussed at a later date. Then we had to go back downstairs and figure out what the fuck happened here..Well, we established the water would have to leave....and then we put on our "thinking caps" remember those...came in real handy in grade 2.. anywho..Gord decided to back to our shop and get the almighty "SHOP VAC" to save the day!! It suckes just about anything we sucked up a trillion gallons of water, we were all sopping wet, the carpet was a I gave up and went upstairs to make lunch. Now, all this happened before we were really awake. After lunch, we put said "thinking caps" on again, trying to figure out why after living here for twenty years is there water coming in our basement? The "caps" didn't work. We have no idea, so Gord goes back to the shop to do some work, and I start my laundry and shit. Around 2:00 (fucking daylight savings time) and it was really only 1:00 (don't get me started on time changes)...After awhile I went back down into the depths of hell, to THE wreck room, only to find another two inches of water on the floor! I immediately got the "SHOP VAC" going and sucked it up. I had me a nagging thought however, why does this water keep coming and where is it coming from?...We have had 3 days of ultra warm temps, and everything is melting, so I expect a little run-off, but not in my basement. So I decided to do some sleuthing. First, before leaving the house I had to get into disguise, you see we have nosey neighbours and if the word got around you have any condensation at all in your basement , they will all be there to give you helpful advise you don't want or need. And, if by chance you want to sell your house at a later date, they will be the first to approach prospective buyers and let them know..."did you know they had water in their basement.!?" Water and basement are dirty words in suburbia. I started me sleuthing...normally for a job like this I would just throw on a pair of overalls with my name embroidered on the top right hand corner, but because this was a secret mission I had to come up with something secretive in order not be recognized by nosey I put on a dress. None of my neighbours have ever seen me in a dress, so it was reasonable to assume that I was under cover. I shelped through a lot of water in the front yard, checking the foundation with my handy dandy magnifying glass, trying to detect cracks. NONE. I went back up the front steps and spyed with "my little eye" a gap between the steps and the patio bricks that act as our sidewalk. I put my finger in the gap...and low and behold, there was stacks of water under our steps. By this time I feeling very detective like, and I came to the realization that our evestroughs on the garage on the other side of the steps were loose and the water was running in between the roof and the eves on to the ground....and the water managed to weave it's way the the right, and find a nice home under our steps..bugger..

Well, hubby and me ain't any dummies, I called him up on the cell and told him to get his ass back home because I HAD FOUND THE PROBLEM. So, we took up the patio bricks which constitute our sidewalk, and the water just gushes out...we start to celebrate..glasses of wine in hand..but then the water quit's, and by the looks of it, there is plenty more in there..iffin you dig your face down in a dirty hole and have a look see, yup there is a lake in thar. So, once more, the thinking caps must be put back on..(because we are too cheap and too proud to call a someone who might know how to fix this). We get into a huddle, and get our game plan together and start digging a trench in our beautiful manicured front lawn, to let the water flow down on to the street. The thinking was, we can always grow new grass, but mould in the basement is not a good thing. Now, if you know anything about Winnipeg winters you would know the ground is frozen this time of year, and is not as flexible as it would be in milder temps...It's fucking frozen...I dig, he digs, I dig, he digs,....and so it goes until we dig a trench to the street. Now, guess what, the neighbours spy us...wondering why I'm wearing my spring dress in the muck. Of course we get the big question: Do you have water in your basement? We lie, and said we discovered some water under our steps..and don't like it there...and for the good of the neighbourhood we are draining it away...before it happens to you!! Now, go away you cul de sacer's...yer getting on my nerves. They go away. Nightfall comes, and the water is no longer flowing down our trench..and is building up under the steps again... God, I mean Gord has a brain wave...let's put a hose underneath it and try to suck the water out. I am perfectly willing to take this leap, but, I will not be the sucker. So, he goes out there and sets it all up, and sucks, and sucks, and sucks, he's turning blue...and finally a little trickle comes out, and we celebrate again with a glass of wine. Meanwhile I go back into the wreck room and run the SHOP VAC again, just to be sure everything is half assed dry.. By now it is getting pretty late, we have supper, and go out and check on the quit...and were we, we were pooped..

I know, this is a long story, but I gotta finish it...Gord got up at 5:00 this morning, and SHOP VACED it. I got up at 7:30 and SHOP VACED it. and now the end of the story ..I hope...Gord just got home tonite...and finally bought a pump and drained the hole, and the water is gone.... the moral of this story, if you have an evestrough that is leaking, fix the fucker...don't be lazy sorry assed people that we are, before this happened, we were complaining that every time we came out of the garage that the water coming out of the eaves that was leaking on us was making us a little wet..go figure... we are such wieners..

Anyone know a good landscaper?...just a minute...the trenches we made are so deep, I could probably put a fish pond in there...hmmm might be a bright side..but I really don't think so...because around here..."always something".....
And this is a true to follow another day...I'm pooped...sorry for the bad language.


Friday, April 01, 2005

The Juno's have arrived in Winnipeg

For you Muricans...this is our Canadian National Music Awards , and this year it is being held in our brand new MTS WINNIPEG.. The city is abuzz...with star sighting..ahem..which Canadian music artist do remember? None the less, we are proud because usually Toronta gets it or some other western or eastern Province. The worst news tonight was the Neil Young wouldn't be coming, he grew up in Winnipeg and was looking forward to participating, but had an anurisuim and is in hospital. When I moved to Winnipeg in the early 60's...Neil and his junk Winnipeg band would perform at a lot of Community Clubs around the city, and I had me a crush on him...and that was in the days when Burton Cummings from the Guess Who also were playing Clubs around the city as well. I never saw his band, but I remember Neil Young. So, it's notsobad for a little city like ours to produce two superstars like Neil Young and Burton Cummings and the Guess Who.. !!! Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman will be coming.

I went to a concert two year's when JOE COCKER came to town...(we are soul mates) Joes doesn't know that..but we are) and Burton Cummings was also part of the concert....It was the best!!!

The city has labelled the Juno's this year in Winnipeg as: "The Flatter the land..the harder the Rock"....that's a Prairie joke... but it man, we have rock and roll going on!

So, its very exciting around here...and on Sunday night the Juno awards will be ahappening!!..and I'm sure there will be a lot of talent there. Some will be a little off the wall, and boring, and some will be exciting..

okay...that would be my entry for saw me a Robin tonight....spring has sprung, the grass has ris...and I know where da birdies is....

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Just Gord and I having an evening discussion