Monday, April 04, 2005

Let's just call this "Shit Sunday"

Me and the Mr. were snoring away this morning in our snuggly warm water bed, the dog was tucked under the covers and life felt just right!! The birds were singing, and a few geese flying south were "honking" just loud enough to wake me up a remind me I had to go to the bathroom. That's not a bad thing. However, just as I returned to my bed of warmness, the phone rang, it was a guy who wanted to buy something the Mr. had put in the evil "Buy and Sell" newspaper. I swear to God if he ever puts more crap for sale in that I paper I will take a long stick and poke his eyes out! People in Winnipeg will buy anything, as long as it looks like a, we got our sorry selves up, had a shower etc. and Gord goes to the basement to find the items this guy wanted....only to find our basement covered in 2 inches of water...this is not just a basement, this is a rec room...and is now know as the wreck room. It was always an ugly kind of a room but it came with the what can I say. I don't particularly like living underground, so I was never to fond of said room. So, before we could even have breakfast Gord had to get all the stuff he was selling upstairs, which fortunately was not soaked, and he lined it all up in the living room for the guys perusal. After the buyer left (and he bought it all..$450.00) bucks worth of electronic equipment left over from Gord's dad's estate) oop's guess the Buy and Sell is not that evil..but I have other issues with it to be discussed at a later date. Then we had to go back downstairs and figure out what the fuck happened here..Well, we established the water would have to leave....and then we put on our "thinking caps" remember those...came in real handy in grade 2.. anywho..Gord decided to back to our shop and get the almighty "SHOP VAC" to save the day!! It suckes just about anything we sucked up a trillion gallons of water, we were all sopping wet, the carpet was a I gave up and went upstairs to make lunch. Now, all this happened before we were really awake. After lunch, we put said "thinking caps" on again, trying to figure out why after living here for twenty years is there water coming in our basement? The "caps" didn't work. We have no idea, so Gord goes back to the shop to do some work, and I start my laundry and shit. Around 2:00 (fucking daylight savings time) and it was really only 1:00 (don't get me started on time changes)...After awhile I went back down into the depths of hell, to THE wreck room, only to find another two inches of water on the floor! I immediately got the "SHOP VAC" going and sucked it up. I had me a nagging thought however, why does this water keep coming and where is it coming from?...We have had 3 days of ultra warm temps, and everything is melting, so I expect a little run-off, but not in my basement. So I decided to do some sleuthing. First, before leaving the house I had to get into disguise, you see we have nosey neighbours and if the word got around you have any condensation at all in your basement , they will all be there to give you helpful advise you don't want or need. And, if by chance you want to sell your house at a later date, they will be the first to approach prospective buyers and let them know..."did you know they had water in their basement.!?" Water and basement are dirty words in suburbia. I started me sleuthing...normally for a job like this I would just throw on a pair of overalls with my name embroidered on the top right hand corner, but because this was a secret mission I had to come up with something secretive in order not be recognized by nosey I put on a dress. None of my neighbours have ever seen me in a dress, so it was reasonable to assume that I was under cover. I shelped through a lot of water in the front yard, checking the foundation with my handy dandy magnifying glass, trying to detect cracks. NONE. I went back up the front steps and spyed with "my little eye" a gap between the steps and the patio bricks that act as our sidewalk. I put my finger in the gap...and low and behold, there was stacks of water under our steps. By this time I feeling very detective like, and I came to the realization that our evestroughs on the garage on the other side of the steps were loose and the water was running in between the roof and the eves on to the ground....and the water managed to weave it's way the the right, and find a nice home under our steps..bugger..

Well, hubby and me ain't any dummies, I called him up on the cell and told him to get his ass back home because I HAD FOUND THE PROBLEM. So, we took up the patio bricks which constitute our sidewalk, and the water just gushes out...we start to celebrate..glasses of wine in hand..but then the water quit's, and by the looks of it, there is plenty more in there..iffin you dig your face down in a dirty hole and have a look see, yup there is a lake in thar. So, once more, the thinking caps must be put back on..(because we are too cheap and too proud to call a someone who might know how to fix this). We get into a huddle, and get our game plan together and start digging a trench in our beautiful manicured front lawn, to let the water flow down on to the street. The thinking was, we can always grow new grass, but mould in the basement is not a good thing. Now, if you know anything about Winnipeg winters you would know the ground is frozen this time of year, and is not as flexible as it would be in milder temps...It's fucking frozen...I dig, he digs, I dig, he digs,....and so it goes until we dig a trench to the street. Now, guess what, the neighbours spy us...wondering why I'm wearing my spring dress in the muck. Of course we get the big question: Do you have water in your basement? We lie, and said we discovered some water under our steps..and don't like it there...and for the good of the neighbourhood we are draining it away...before it happens to you!! Now, go away you cul de sacer's...yer getting on my nerves. They go away. Nightfall comes, and the water is no longer flowing down our trench..and is building up under the steps again... God, I mean Gord has a brain wave...let's put a hose underneath it and try to suck the water out. I am perfectly willing to take this leap, but, I will not be the sucker. So, he goes out there and sets it all up, and sucks, and sucks, and sucks, he's turning blue...and finally a little trickle comes out, and we celebrate again with a glass of wine. Meanwhile I go back into the wreck room and run the SHOP VAC again, just to be sure everything is half assed dry.. By now it is getting pretty late, we have supper, and go out and check on the quit...and were we, we were pooped..

I know, this is a long story, but I gotta finish it...Gord got up at 5:00 this morning, and SHOP VACED it. I got up at 7:30 and SHOP VACED it. and now the end of the story ..I hope...Gord just got home tonite...and finally bought a pump and drained the hole, and the water is gone.... the moral of this story, if you have an evestrough that is leaking, fix the fucker...don't be lazy sorry assed people that we are, before this happened, we were complaining that every time we came out of the garage that the water coming out of the eaves that was leaking on us was making us a little wet..go figure... we are such wieners..

Anyone know a good landscaper?...just a minute...the trenches we made are so deep, I could probably put a fish pond in there...hmmm might be a bright side..but I really don't think so...because around here..."always something".....
And this is a true to follow another day...I'm pooped...sorry for the bad language.


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