Monday, June 28, 2010

Been working the back 40 today...

I finally got the pond done and put in the new pump. I accidentally donated most of my pond stuff to charity. I thought it was old pots and pans in the bag... but no... I realized today that there was more in the bag than the pump, there was all the ugly/cute little ducks and frogs I used to have sitting beside my pond. I'm frowning at myself.

Well now it probably won't look like a old lady piece of work.

It still needs a lot of attention. Thank God I didn't put in the swing set (of my my mom and dad) in the same bag.

The storms have ripped up so much that it's almost more than I get between the mosquito invasion and bad weather. My little "happy face" pail keeps me going. Right now the pond is still dirty to I have to keep scooping leaves and shit out of it. But my lilies are starting to bloom big time. The buds are just bursting. It's nice to see something good happening back there.

I put out a basket of peanuts and tied it to a tree branch on the deck for the squirrels. I know it was a little nasty thing to do because it took them a long time to figure out. They knew the peanuts were in there, but couldn't figure out how to get into the "swinging" basket...which scared them. It took about an hour before the big grey squirrels figured it out....they just jumped into the basket with their big fat asses..grabbed a peanut and high tailed it out of there. The little red squirrels were much more cautious. They did a perimeter check, then got out their laptops and googled my house to see all the angles .. then just jumped from the highest branch into the basket with the speed of light...and then out with a peanut.

What the cyber squirrels didn't factor in their strategy was that "where there is a peanut...there is a Blue Jay." Oh yeah. Big time. The Blue Jays had a GPS system going on. At first they weren't too happy with the swinging basket, but they were very smart. They sat on the branches overlooking the basket ...looked at it from every angle...called a meeting...and I'm guessing Head Office told them to dive bomb it and get out as fast as you can. Which they did. That basket was swinging in the wind for ten minutes later.

I only got one shot of the whole debacle....with the grey squirrel after he jumped out of the basket.

I think retirement is making me a little ..err crazy. I am enjoying fooling wildlife. I think there is something wrong with that.

balonie....enjoying life on the wild side.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The day the women went

I have been following this "reality" type show for about a month now. It's really interesting. It takes place in a small town in Hardisty Alberta Canada where the women leave for one week and leave their husbands and children behind to take some time for themselves and regroup. Most have never had holiday.

The men in the community are mostly oil rig workers in Alberta with little time at home, and the women in the community take care of everything. Now, the men have to do it all.

I was really interesting. The younger women didn't really want to go, because of the young children....and a for a lot of other reasons. Some were divorced and single mothers and the dad's were still in town...that kind of stuff. Small towns sometimes have small minds. If you have ever grown up in one you will know. They were all a little redneck, but that was what made it so interesting. I could relate.

I don't watch a lot of TV...but sometimes I just find something I like. Like last night I was just about to go to bed when I happened on to a movie called "The Waitress"...... what a good movie. And just half an hour before it ended we had a thunderstorm...and knocked out our service....sonofabeotch...... so I didn't know how it ended....but if found it again this afternoon and got to watch the ending.

Today I took my electric friend "Peanut" out for another spin/mow around the back 40. The last time I did that I ran over her cord. Gord said he could patch it together. Today when I was about to harness up Peanut and attach her cord, I noticed Gord had put a lot.. I mean a lot of electrical tape at the site where it was injured. At first I was a little scared I might get electrocuted............. so I plugged the Peanut in.....turned her on ON...and ran far far away. Ahhh but she she purred like a kitten ...We did a little stubble jumping over all the tree roots in the back 40...then we scared a few squirrels and after that I put her on a few ant hills and let her give them all a good massage. She seems to like shit like that. We make a good pair. She, unlike "Jake the Snake" the gas guzzling out of control lawnmower I used to have.. does not try to get out of the shed after I put her in there. She's happy as a clam to wait for our next outing.

I'm waiting for a Lawnmower app. on our smart phones. All I will have to do is start Peanut and it will guide her through the process ....and let me know when she is finished...or even better....slide her in the shed and give a big cyber kiss for being such a good girl. All I will have to do is unplug her.

Balonie....trying to invent the ilawnmower.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day many moons ago

Snoring on the couch...beside mom. His belly full of her good cooking.

Me and my bro were taping him as he was snoring. He said he never snored! We had just bought a small tape tech in those days....and we taped him. He was blowing the roof off the house. And when he woke up he said that wasn't him.

Heh...that tape recorder got us is a whole pile of trouble over the next year. Apparently some people don't like their conversations recorded. Sorry Grandma... and to the rest of the town residents. We got some really good shit.

Happy Father's Day .....your girl Johnson.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I have a lot of tree branches down in the back 40. A wind storm went through this afternoon while I was at the vet's getting Penny's nails clipped...and we missed it. This will make the 4th. time I have to clean this shit up.

I need to get my little pond going. I may or may not have mentioned this...(between Faceassbook and blogging) I forget what I have said.....but I gave all my pond pumps to charity..BY MISTAKE. I thought the bag had old clothes in it...brain fart!

I've had a really good month of (forced) retiring. No, I won't get over that.

I have finished painting the shop and today I did a job for one of our tenants who has an Italian Pretzel shop... He has been in the business for about 3 years and is still experimenting with all the different things he can do. He introduced two new lines this week, and needed someone to make labels for the bags. His original pretzels are in fancy commercial bags, but now he just needs labels for the new line to see if they will sell before he spends more money on packaging. I spent all day in Microsoft Word making up fancy dancy labels.....damn I had so much fun. I had to think...I had to come up with ideas....and try to remember all the tricks of MS word. It took awhile, but once I started to remember all that I already knew it went very quickly. I have some clean up to do tomorrow, but I will email it to him tomorrow and hope he likes it. It feels good to be productive.

Actually I have a good chance of helping out any of our tenants....should anyone go on vacation etc. I think I will ask all of them if they need some part time help. But, that would never be in the morning.........MORNINGS...are for me. Sleep, coffee, dog time, blog and facebook time. But the afternoons are like soooooooooooooo boring. Most of our neighbours are retired and I look out the patio doors to see what they are doing in the afternoon.....nothing. They are up at the asscrackofdawn getting it all done before lunch. I guess it's nap time after a sammich and some coleslaw. Then around 3:30 they reappear. A little groggy...maybe they have sex in the afternoon, I don't know but they look pretty happy. Maybe they are just happy to wake up and be alive.

Someone on one of the blogs I read said that 60 is now the new 30. I think it was Jude. I'm thinking that is true...probably not 30 but 40 for sure. I think the younger generation doesn't perceive us as "old" as we did with our parents and grandparents. We can still kick ass, and keep up with the latest electronics if we want to. I feel there has been a definite change of attitude.

On that note....damn am I tired. But I did have a productive day. Will I get paid for it? Probably not, but it's all about keeping active and having a good time. And I am.

balonie....forming a mosquito swat team.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Mowed the back 40 with Peanut

And the front yard....without incident ...until I ran over the cord of the electric lawn mower. You see our regular lawn mower is in the garage behind 3,567 boxes Gord brought home from his shop because he is renovating and did not have the foresight to take out. Let's not talk about that okay? So, I had to pull out good ole "peanut"... we've had her since forever, every time one our lawnmowers takes a dump... eg. Jake the Snake ...Peanut comes to the rescue.

This afternoon I was mowing the front yard and both my anal neighbours were sitting out front. Sitting and watching me....just in case I threw a little grass on their driveway. Yes, they pretended to be pulling up weeds and such, but I could feel their eyes on me every step of the way. You see "peanut does not have a grass if I have her spout turned in the direction of their driveway she pukes grass all over it. So, I was very careful.

Our front yard looks like a "V" because we are in the middle of a Cul de friggin sac. So no matter what you do you will either get grass on your driveway or the neighbours. I figured out a plan where I wouldn't have to sweep up grass clipping from both our properties. Mind you ... it was not a well thought out plan...but I did have a PLAN. So shut up. And yes you have to make sure the cord is always in the right place..which you will see later was my demise.

I made sure the spout thingie was always away from our driveway for half of the mow...and pointed the other direction for the rest of the mow. easy that was. However, at the end there was a fair amount of grass in the centre of the lawn. I knew this and had a plan 2.

They were still watching me...and I was getting a little nervous. So, I went into the centre of the mess and mulched it all up with a few passes. I was so pleased with myself and decided to do the side of the house that faces theirs and almost completed it...when I fucking ran over the cord of the lawn mower. Yeah, I was showing off my skills...and suddenly the mower was silent....I didn't quite get what happened, once I figured it out I pretended to turn it off...and turned to them and said ...I can't believe why more people don't have electric lawn mowers! I just love them.

They gave me strained smiles.

And once I was on the other side of the house I lowered my sweats...pointed my ass in their direction and quietly told them to kiss my sweaty ass.

Yeah...that's how I roll.

balonie...looking forward to mac and cheese and a pork roast tonite.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Let's see

I have to start posting again...but my heart hasn't been in it for awhile. I have been spending so much time in face book looking out for Kat it has almost taken away my ability to write a real post.

But I can't let that happen because she would be pissed off...she loved to laugh, write and do and say the most outrages I will carry on with the tradition. I was a little crazy before she met me and I'm still crazy now. I gotta get my mojo working....

Update: I am still painting Gord's shop. Downdate: He is pissing me off. Hey, I love going over there every afternoon after he has left to do service calls, and paint myself into a corner... but after three weeks of telling me...there is no rush...suddenly there is! oopsie... I thought you said I could do this at my own speed...which is about..hmmm 3.5 hours a day. NOW....we must rush.

I have finished all the walls and am doing the trim work. You know the baseboards ON THE CEMENT FLOOR...yeah those. I have taped up everything because my paint brush does not know how to paint a straight line. I have more green tape in that place than paint.

My knobby like the cement floor nor do I like looking at little bugs coming out of the baseboards as I am doing a professional paint job. ha. Those bugs scurry when they see my brush coming. Today I figured out a way so I didn't have place my knees on a mat and only paint three inches at a time...then get up and do another three inches............. I'm fucking stupid. I got a huge piece of cardboard and put that under the baseboards (because the floor is dirty) the top of the baseboards were taped I just bent down and painted my heart out and nothing got dirty nor did I get the paint on the walls. I think I'm getting way too good at this. By the time I am finished, I should have my journeyman hours in painting.

I really love are all by yourself and you get into a place in your head...and figure out what you should do next ... I had the radio going full blast and was happy, until Gord came in and tripped over the cord and broke it. He put the radio in the most stupid place ever....but since I have been working there I never tripped over it. How hard is it to see a cord that is sitting about 4 feet from the floor? Well he is kinda's just a good thing he didn't strangle himself.

I made a meat loaf pizza for tonight. Yup we had meatloaf for supper last night, and at lunch today we had meatloaf sandwiches, and surprise...tonite we are having meatloaf pizza. That was one big "mother" meatloaf. I made it with half ground beef and half ground turkey...and I really liked it. I'ts not soooooo beefy tasting. Plus I put in a lot of other stuff.

Okay, I have really over stayed my welcome tonight....time to put in the pizza and kick my husbands ass because he just phoned and said he was on his way.

That's how it works here on Peacock Place...

Balonie.....not taking anything for granted anymore......

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Damn near fell off the ladder

But I caught myself. Now everything hurts. I must of pulled my liver out of it's original position and it landed on top of my kidneys...or maybe my heart fell down and my kidneys when up. That would mean I would be peeing out of my mouth...right? So far I'm not pissing out of my mouth...but of course I am...because I am blogging. a dirty word in the painting industry. Who here can do a smooth edge between the ceiling and the wall? If you say yes, you are liars....and your pants are on fire....and your noses are growing inches as we speak. I have used 9,450 yards of the green Home Depot masking tape to stop me from painting on stuff that shouldn't be painted on. Nothing helps..... but Gord has only given me a pathway of hmmm maybe of two feet from the wall to the crap he has in the centre of the room. Sometimes even less....It's me the ladder and the roller...two inches from my face as we roll. Nothing better than being that close to a roller full of paint. Or then when you get off the ladder to paint the bottom of the section ...that is not wide enough to squeeze a cat through...and you are laying on a cold dirty cement floor with your legs up in the air because there is not enough room for you and all his shit at the same time. But you still have a paint brush in your hand...because you knew the roller was only going to be a big problem in such a tight space. You put the paint brush between your teeth and try to paint the wall while laying on the cold dank floor like a Artist who cannot see. My jowls hurt. I think I may have painted some of my teeth a ugly grey beige color. Son of a bitch....what I do to to make a few bucks.

Balonie... getting out her gun