Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year

Isn't this cute. My SIL gave it to me for Christmas. It's a little skating village. The skaters were whirrling around at the time I shot the photo and look a little blurred. I really love it. Also, I managed to take a pic in the evening with low lighting not using my flash and making everything look cool not washed out. I love my new Canon.

Apparently, going through 12 months of my blathering on my blog will take a little longer than I imagined. So, I just took a few more pics with my wonderful camera. Some of them are too dark, I should have lit the fireplace in the living room to make it look really nice...but we used up all the wood at Christmas. Or I could have put turned on a lamp or two...but I didn't, I wanted to see what my camera could do without blurring.... so if you can't see anything, you are older than me, because I can still see some of it..but only because I know where everything is...ha!

For those that have eye myself...but won't admit it....this is the far side of the living room. The tree is beside the front window and the wall unit is on the right displaying my more than abundant Christmas artifacts. Most of them given to me by my wonderful SIL Joan, but you can't see them because I am testing my camera.

Here is a crooked pic of the wall unit housing my artifacts, which you can't see because I am testing my camera.

This was taken in the family room, don't double click.. if you do will see the duct tape on our ancient lazy boy chairs.

Pic taken from upstairs....I finally turned on a lamp, because I didn't know how much more my Canon could take. Can you see Penny Loafer sitting in her "heated" doggie bed by the window. Oy.

Okay, I was really pushing it here, I forgot to turn the lamp on behind Santa...but if you look really hard he is there.

Just an overview from upstairs..... a dark one. Okay, my experiments are over. Thanks for joining in the darkness.

We aren't doing anything special tonight. Homemade pizza, and will probably be in bed by the time the ball drops..our time. Just the way I like it.

Now, I'm off the scour my old blogs.

Happy New Year Everyone...thanks so much for stopping in.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Spent the whole day...

Organizing my pictures in "My Pictures"....what a bloody mess I had going on in there. I deleted at least a hundred or two. Who needs three pictures of your dog doing the same thing?...or pictures of the same tree taken three years in a row. Yup, I always think it looks beautiful in fall every year and take another picture of it....just like everything else out back. Digital is good, but man it can clutter your mind and computer given the chance. I cringed every time I hit delete, but I still haven't emptied my waste know..just in case I change my mind.

Hippychick just sent me two pictures of us taken at the first Christmas dinner.

Did I just swallow a bug?

It seems I have just sat on a whoopee cushion. Or the burpmaster. I can't see where Hippychicks hand is.

Here is daddy moose (Clive) and his widdle moose kidlet. I finally named "her" today, because it would be unseemly to leave a baby moose without a name for 5 days. I named her "Douche the Moose." Daddy is taking good care of the little douche bag...heh...and keeps an eye on her all day.

I know I'm so bad, but I couldn't help myself.

Tomorrow I am finally coming out of seclusion and going outside. I have had enough rest and find the need to see other people. I really need to get out of here. I might even drop into work to see whats shaking there. Retirement is looming in two years, good heavens what will I do with myself! The walls are closing in on me. I guess it would be different if it was summer, but having a lot of time off in the middle of winter is a little claustrophobic.

For my New Year's post:
I was reading Brenda's blog today and she took a line out of each month of this year she wrote on her blog to celebrate another years passing in 2008. I will do that tomorrow too. I like that idea. I don't normally go back a re-read stuff, so it should be interesting what I find there.

Monday, December 29, 2008

The last Cwistmas family gathering is over

And I enjoyed every moment. I didn't know I had a the stamina to do the turkey dinner and all the trimmings thing again. (Mind you I forgot to make dressing and to put out the cranberry sauce)..but other than that I thought it was tasty...even though I had my head in the wine barrel for the most part:) Just kidding, sort of. We had turkey, mashed tators, gravy, a secret lettuce salad my mom used to make, broccoli, cauliflower and carrot casserole swimming in a Velveeta cheese sauce..(nothing says Christmas more than processed cheese products), sweet and sour meat balls, homemade "lazy mans holopchi" (cabbage rolls ... without the rolling), a chicken and rice dish I make with soy sauce and other stuff, and buns and butter, I think that's it. Dessert was Caramel Spiced Apple Cake with Cool Whip.

For some reason I was so organized this year, it was a piece of cake. Everything was done in the was cooked, diced, sliced, boiled, punched, peeled, pulled, steamed, creamed, and seasoned. All the dishes were cooled off, salads were made and everything was put into containers in the fridge to ripen. Then I had the rest of the day to fart around the house adjusting pictures, having a short nap, setting the table, and have a short nip here and there. By the time the first guest arrived here at 5:00 I was drunk... So, my plan worked.

It was 6:00 by the time everyone got here, and all I had to do was put all the casserole dishes in the oven, and heat it all up....Yeah I know what you are thinking, I put the salad in the oven too, but no, to ease my mind in the morning I put THAT container, in a very inconspicuous location in my fridge, in order not to cook it. However, it took me 15 minutes to find it in the crisper.

It was good.

We got to meet our nieces boyfriends along with Sheldon...a long time friend of theirs who came with them, that I have had an old lady crush on for sometime. I have to quit hitting on him. It's a good thing he has a good sense of humour. But, I did set up a play date for next week...heh.. Ha, if that ever happened he would have to supply a box of "Depends" for me... I would piss my pants!! Never mind a condom.. I'm kidding I hope you know, I wish he was one of my nieces boyfriends because he fits so perfectly into our family.

We had a great time, and of course I only thought of bringing out the camera when everyone was leaving....... new camera.

I got some great gifts, a lighted animated type skating rink from my SIL. It is so cute. I will take a picture of it tomorrow. Also water dispensers for your plants....they are so cool. You put them in your plants and they keep them watered for two weeks. And wine of course, I got some really fine Riesling. Much better than the stuff I brew in my basement.

Today was a lazy day, turkey sammiches for lunch, then I went on the computer and read blogs, and finally got my ass together around 3:00 and cleaned up around here. I don't know about anyone of you, but when I have guests two weeks in a row, I hide crap. Which means everything that was a little ugly went into the bedroom closet. So I had to drag all that crap out again so we could function again. Like all our computer business stuff, which sits across from the dining room table.

All and all it has been busy, yet very nice. Friends and family. So important. Which reminds me, remember last year when I found a large Christmas Moose on my front step? Well we know that it was Hippy Chick who left if for me. She had named it Clive. When I was at her farm last year I noticed she had also bought herself the same moose. She had it sitting in her garden. So, two days ago I was wandering around a store in a strip mall close to home, I found a baby moose, the exact replica of the big moose she had given me. I snapped it up. I knew she was coming over here on boxing day for dinner and I was going to surprise her with the off spring of Clive.

When she walked in the door, I saw she had something in her hand. But, she held it back. After she got her coat off and we started to talk, she presented me with ....yes you guessed it...the little baby moose I had already bought for her..... I pretended to look very surprised, and then I took her aside and gave her my present......yes.....the same ole baby moose... It was so neat. Yeah, I still say neat...get over it. So, to make this story a little shorter, Hippy Chick and I were on the same page. We both own a short little metal moose. I haven't named the little runt yet. I'll wait till she names hers, god forbid we chose the same names!! It could happen!

I'm just going to go into my pics and rummage around there to see if I have any pics of Christmas that may be of interest to you. Go for a pee... it might take me awhile.

Meet "T" that's what we call her. Her name is Taryn and she is a little dancer. She loves to dress up. Here she was just showing off the "dress up" clothes she got for Christmas.
But it soon became apparent that dancing with your eyes closed would result in a face plant with all the boxes and present debris waiting to trip her up in front of her dancing feets. She had a pretty tiara perched on her head to match the dress before the pic was taken, but .. alas that was lost in a different fall. Dancing must be done with your eyes wide open kid

Here she is trying to fire her management team. She's a little Diva .. that one.


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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Merry Merry you Christmas persons

Don't read too loud, because I'm tired. Shhhhh...close your eyes... Can you hear me whispering in your good ear? Yeah, that's the way I like it. Because 5 kids were very very loud last night. Apparently my niece decided to buy each and every kidlet a "Burp Master" ...and a "Fart Master"...all which had three settings on it.

1. Monster
2. After Dinner
3. Regurgitation

Children love the sounds of blasts of gastric air coming out of their mouth's and anuses. I have no idea why I didn't think of it first...that bitch!! so...she was the hit of the party...and I only got them crappy old fart stuff like books and puzzles and stuff... I don't know where my imagination went to......I was the one who used to give this shit to my niece!!....I guess it's time to pass the torch over to her, at least I know I taught her well.

You know, it's kind of scary. I used to be the one who tortured the kids with all my craziness at Christmas and family reunions...but now, not so much. She probably was disappointed in my gift to her, it didn't blow up, nor did it fart. It was a set of plastic Tupperware type bowls that had a slot on the bottom to hold the lids, so you can never loose them. YES, I have passed the point of boring. Poor Tammy, she will probably never forgive me. Next year, I promise, I will give her the cheesiest gift ever. I will crochet her one of those penis holders.....even tho she doesn't have one. I I can I surpass the Burp/Fart Master?

We had a good Christmas. I didn't have to cook!! It was all brought in and it was good. It was quite until yesterday when all hell broke loose..heh...but it was fun. Even Hippy Chick showed up. More about that later.. I'm kinda of tired tonight.

I'm getting ready for the second dinner tomorrow with my family . I posted the rest of this yesterday and didn't I get a freebie for tonight.

Gord got me the Canon Rebel for Christmas....and you know what.. he is one smart guy. He also bought me the Canon Power Shot SD890IS just in case I didn't like the Rebel...I was yearning for.

There was no contest. I guess I didn't have a clue in the clues closet what I was asking for. I checked it out on the Internet and saw pictures of it in flyer's, but never saw one for real.

Yes, I wanted a SLR to take better pictures, as advertised with the Rebel. And planned on taking some photography courses in the future. But as usual I was blowing smoke out of my ass...I didn't know what I was talking about.

When I opened my first present, and it was the Canon Rebel, I was pretty surprised, on how large it was. But I squealed with glee...and yelled REBEL... and scared the dog.

I kept on touching it and and weighed it my mind...secretly thinking "this son of bitch" must weigh 5,678 pounds. After all I'm getting a little older, I have to think about how much pressure it would take when I strapped this sucker around my neck.....before it snapped. I'm thinking 3 seconds...before my head would be laying on the ground, rolling around a gutter someplace, trying to do "art" photography. When I am actually a "point and shoot" type photographer...and I use that term loosely. I "point" at the subjects heads, usually miss them them then "shoot" some very nice pictures of the background. So when I download my pics I can never really tell if I was taking a picture of a tree, or were there people actually standing underneath it? So, in short, I don't think the Rebel is for me. I think I will post that in their web site...Haaaaa. They will love it, and all the photo buffs in the world will know what a fecking dork I am.

So, when I opened my next present the Canon Power Shot, I felt more at home. She was light, and smooth..and we pretty well made out under the Christmas tree. This camera will take pictures in low light, without blurring, this is something I really wanted. So, Gord knows me better that I know myself sometimes...because he can see that smoke blowing from my ass...when I only think it's gas.

In defence of the Rebel, you could never forget it on the table of a baby shower, or a wedding, because IT'S IN YOUR FACE...even after taking off the halter ..umm strap off of it. So, I give it two thumbs up for that feature. But I'm not saying this is a bad camera, I'm sure it's one of the best for those that want to take quality pics. And have the patience to learn all the features. I however will live forever with the Elphs... Santa's Elphs.

I have a lot of pictures taken with my new Elph...but blogger told me to stick them where the sun don't shine. I guess everyone in the entire universe it blogging pic's and shut it down. Blogger, blogger, I don't care if I get thee for free.. I want to post a picture of my grand niece picking her nose with her eyes closed. It's an art form rarely seen in this hemisphere.

I have next week off. Sorry if I have been a little "off" lately and haven't come around to check on youse guys and leave comment... if I have; I could only muster a "read" see you next week. Then I will "giver shit."

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

It just took a turn of events...

And I'm feeling so much better. The flu has flown the coup..all that was left this morning was a cough that probably woke the neighbours...but other than that I'm feeling pretty good.

The tenant has moved out!!! He is history. We have the little house back!!

I found out today, we are having our Boxing Day dinner BROUGHT IN!! My brother in law..god bless him, arranged it. Angel man must have found his address and sat on his head! Because I tried to get this restaurant to do it, but the Manager said I had to order from the menu and everyone would get separate dishes...and that is not what I wanted...I wanted a whole pile of food in huge foil pans, and I would dole it out. Ron (Gord's Bro) called the owner of the restaurant yesterday. He had used them several times for his employee Christmas parties, and they always made up whatever he asked for. So, that's all it took, and I am now free to enjoy the Martin Christmas without cooking. But of course now I am fretting over the little know ..snacks and stuff. My SIL told me on Saturday I shouldn't get my shit tied in a knot with trying to please the kids....she says they never eat a meal at Christmas...just give them some buns and pickles...and they are fine. They are too busy playing to give a crap. And I do remember last Christmas..none of them ate anything worth a shit...they were to busy having fun. But, I am sure they will like the food we are bringing in none the less. I will have buns and pickles ready...just in case. That is the way I rollssssssss.

Now that I don't that to worry about, I can worry about our dinner with my family on Sunday. What the hell would I do if I didn't have anything to stress over....

Shhhhh...I have a secret stress......we have been throwing out old furniture in lieu of building a new house next I only have one sofa left in the living room + a hard assed rocking chair. Where are all the people going to sit, I say to myself? Well, I have 4 very nice comfy lawn chairs I put down the basement in the fall. They can sit on those. But, once I go down into the basement and find them, I find they are full of bug shit and grubbiness that one doesn't really notice in summer.. there is not a cleaning agent that will remove it. It's not that they are really dirty, but the elements have taken their toll.

So, either I put the lights down low, and use these comfy chairs...or the people ...they sit on the floor. Our Tanta Tina is 94, if she sits on the floor, it might take a fork lift to get her back up.....!!! Of course we could let her sit on the sofa. But only if she behaves herself and doesn't try anything funny. She is great lady, I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I know I have painted a ugly theme here, but it's not really...we will fit everyone in, plus we have the upstairs level where everyone gathers in the kitchen and another family room. I just sweat everything way too much.

The kid's disappear down into the second level of the house where we have two bedrooms, bath etc....and then into their fav place...the lower level the "wreck room".

This year I have set up a little game for them. Called..."find the quarter"..... I will have about 70 quarters (.25) because we are cheap...down there..hidden..and they have to find them...and the one that comes back up with the LEAST amount quarters wins a prize. Lets see how greedy they get...heh... I know...I am messing with their heads....I love that...

Let's just see how the older cousins help the little ones who don't quite get it. But in any case there is a prize for everyone in case they start to cry or something. Can you tell I never had kids? I might have spank all of them if they don't play the game right. Oops...don't take me to court....I will put them in a naughty seat instead and tie them up with duct tape...!! Just kiddin...their parents will be here.

Then on Sunday I will get to do this all over again with no little kids yet...but with my family. But I will harrass my nieces....auntie joannie holds no favorites...but in their case I might have to hide 10.00 dollars bills in the basement, they wouldn't go down there for a quarter.

I would like to take this time to wish everyone that has wanderered in here and read my blog and left some comments, thanks for letting me know I'm not just talking to myself.

Joanie Balonie
Merry Christmas my friends.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Sweet and Sour

Now how in the hell did that happen? That angel can't stay away from me. We broke up ..twice!! But he caught me at a weak moment.

I think he wants me to follow him to heaven. Because I have just caught the most vicious flu bug, evAR. I was thinking about going "upstairs" today, because this shit is ugly man. I just want to snuggle in his feathers and let him take me. But, as fate would have it, I apparently wasn't sick enough to take a dirt nap. So, I just have to ride the bitch out.

Did I tell you I have two...yes two... Christmas dinners to host within two days of each other.........
As usual I had my head up my ass again. Sometimes I never think things through. Plus all the other crap going on.

That asshole tenant of ours is still giving us grief, even after the court ordered him out of our rental house. Yesterday he finally came back to get his stuff out of the house (after we had changed the locks). And he called the police. We had a sign posted on the door telling him to call us when he was ready to move and we would let him in to get his shit. The stupid bastard called the cops. He hasn't been there for over three weeks, and we didn't even know if he was ever coming back. Now he was pissed off. It was a nigh mare. Gord was plowing snow in the back lanes of our shop and behind the rental house when this all occurred, so it was a good thing he was around. When the cops came, he was ranting at Gordon calling him a slum landlord (oy...and we have been trying to help this guy out since October). The cops told him to shut the F up and just get his crap out of the house. This was at 4:30 in the afternoon. We had to be at my company Christmas Party at 5:00.....Gord was so upset and didn't want to even go because he didn't trust what this guy was going to do in the house.

I finally convinced him to come home, and get ready and we would go back to the house after the party which was only a few blocks away. Which we did, and saw that he was actually moving stuff. We were still very unsettled whether he would do some damage to the house because the guy is a total prick. But we came home because I was sick, and Gord was unsettled about everything, so we didn't have a good nights sleep.

This morning I felt terrible so I stayed home from work. Gord came home at lunch time and said he went over to the house and the guy had stayed there overnight because he hadn't finished moving because HE DIDN'T HAVE A KEY...and didn't want to get robbed. No, we didn't give him a key....but who in the hell would want any of that crap in that house anyway..........just go away asshole.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...I am ranting...I am so pissed off that this all has to happen on the holidays and I am sick....

Okay enough of woe is me. Angel Man and I are back together again, he promised to stay faithful and is perched on my shoulder as we speak. He promised me the best Christmas ever. So, I gotta believe him, because I'm reaching here.

Our Christmas Party (dinner theater) last night had it's own unsettling moments. One of our guys "Steve"..his mother has been in and out of hospital for Chemo treatments for her cancer for the last 4 months. Last week after being at home for some length of time had to go back in because she was weak and couldn't hold down any food. The doctors were optimistic because she had been doing so well, and they were just going to get her strength back up for the next round. She went into the hospital last week, and then at the party... Steve got the call she had died.

I was devastated for him and his wife. They never saw it coming. They knew there were some obstacles to overcome, but they were sure there would be more time. Gord and I were already in no mood for a party, and when I was just coming back from the bathroom I met them at the door, and they were both sobbing, I didn't realize what had taken place until I got back to the table. This really broke my heart.

Just after that dinner was served..... our tables were very subdued. But the party went on. As life does no matter what. You just don't walk out of dinner theater I guess, I wanted to because I had no appetite after that, plus all the crap that was going on with us.....which of course was minor to what Steve was going through.

When we got home, we were talking and Gord was going on about this asshole in the house etc...and I just said to him...yeah, this is a major inconvenience and it pisses me off too, but let's just think of Steve who just lost the love of his life...his mother. We still have each other and what's left of our own families, lets be grateful for that. We have been in his shoes, and we know what it feels like, but he will never think of Christmas again like he did before. It's the week his mom died. Plus the fact she is gone from him forever..never mind Christmas.

Then we sat and pondered that for awhile. Yup, we are still lucky, even tho we don't have a lot of the elders left.....we got each other, sisters and brothers. And if all else fails, I will still have Angel Man!! But I didn't tell him that!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Progess report on Penny

Nothing short of miraculous. Every day is a better day. She is running and playing like a puppy. I was so worried with the temps dipping into -30 if she could handle it...but no problem.

I wonder what would have happened if I had not taken matters into my own hands. They ( the vets) never even mentioned Gloucosamine until I brought it up, and sort of gave me the run around about it might work, but didn't seem too optimistic. Well feck them...We are back to normal around here. She doesn't have any pain anymore. I haven't given her the old drugs for about two months now. She is still a little shy about jumping on the couch, but I think it's only because I have given her shit so many times about trying to do it. And now she thinks it's off limits. But, hey, yeah...this is great. So, I pulled out her old doggy santa hat today and I'm going to make her wear it again this Christmas. She is back to her old Penny Loafer self.

Now I just have to take care of myself. I woke up this morning curled up like a pretzel. Holy shit, my neck was out of wack, and my arm felt like a dead tree branch. Ouch city man. I sleep so tight, and where ever my limbs flung to at night that's where they stayed; unfortunately my body crossed over them at some point...and then ouch again!

I couldn't shoulder check going to work today ..(see pretzel position of last night. ) I just hoped for the best. But there was one bastard following me down Chancellor Drive today that I have put a curse on...that son of a bitch tried to run me off the road. And if you don't know what the roads are like right now, I will tell you, they are fucked up...large ice ruts everywhere and you just have to try to stay within the ruts. El-Fuck head apparently thought ruts were for babies...and tried to pass me two times while almost wiping out on the ice. But that did not stop him trying to get passed me. I finally pulled over and let that ass wipe pass me. I was scared he was going to meet someone head on going in the other direction.

Guess where I met him? At the light at the end of the street. He didn't make anymore time than if he would have stayed behind me. I saluted him...and said Merry Christmas douche bag in my head.

Come on....why do people do this. I see it every day...people getting cranky the minute you aren't going fast enough for them. It's winter and it's slippery and you never know when you are going to hit an icy patch...along with all the ruts...........he is getting a piece of coal for Christmas this year...I told on him...ole Santa knows he is a prick now.

I was just listening to the TV in the background and it was a Frosty the Snowman kind of cartoon going on...and they were singing "Next stop Winnipeg, lots of parking, and lots of snow" I guess they know we have snow here...but the parking....not so much...Frosty would have to go to Impark and pay just like everyone else.

Gord's out at a meeting tonight, so Penny and I have the house to's very quite.

I would love to take some pictures of my house and the outside Christmas lights this year, but my camera is the shits. I have taken some, but they were crap. When I take pictures inside of the house of Christmas lights etc. it is way to bright...and when I turn the flash's all distorted. It's just a cheapie Kodak digi camera. Years ago, when I got my first digital camera, it took awesome pictures in low light, but since then it's been crappy.

So, I have asked Santa for a Cannon Rebel....lets see how much he loves me.. I want to start experimenting with photography instead of just pointing and shooting. I always like a challenge. Life is short, and I think you should learn as much as can in the stuff that interests you.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Just call me Joanie Balonie a great..........

Well, guess what?

I said guess!..... I don't hear anything... guess harder than that!!

Okay then, I'm going to be ummm a ... I really don't niece is HAVING A BABY! The first one on my side of the family. Gord's nieces have all procreated and have kids...but this is the first for me. My mother, if she had lived would be a great grandma. I will be the great grandma then.

I come from a really small family compared to Gord's and my bro and I got married later in life, so things aren't starting to happen until now. Cheri is almost 30, and is having her first child. I can't tell you how excited I was yesterday when my SIL Joan told me. Yes, I have a SIL named Joan, and she has my old sir name. Confused?...well because she married my brother. Get it! But she isn't a Joannie Balonie....I do the bullshitting the family. Glad I straightened that out.

Anyway, I am so happy that our family is getting bigger. Finally. I sure hope Cheri's first one isn't going like she was when she was widdle....colic....OMG...the crying and shit. Why do you think I never had kids? Gord's nieces and nephews were pretty loud and obnoxious after they were born. We just looked at each other one day and said, I don't think this for us.

We preferred to come home to a quite house after work, sit down and have a beverage, then a quite supper and watch TV ..other than changing diapers and rolling around in shit. I mature were we?

But we made our own misery in those days so long ago. We bought houses, and properties, won some wars and lost others. Partied. Had a lot of fun. And watched the kidlets grow up. Then we grew up along with them. So, now that all that crying and shitty diaper stuff has died down and they are all grown ups, I'm willing to go back for more. I think I just became an adult. It took 63 years, but hey....I get to teach this kid what I taught the others. That is going to be so much fun. The new generation of parents are going to hate me again. heh.. But let's face it...I will never become an adult.

Nothing says Christmas better than buying your niece or nephew a set of drums.. or anything that is loud... or messy ..that is my motto. I might not buy dartboards anymore, because ...seriously that could some one's eye out. I kid..sort of.

This is turning out to be a better Christmas than I imagined.

And it's cold out here....if you care....-30c with a wind chill of -43. It's usually mild before Christmas but this is frigging unreal. I'm turning into a prune. It is so dry my fingers are starting to crack. I'm swimming in a pool of lotion. Hopefully my truck will start tomorrow, I have it plugged in...but this is way out there...

The good thing is we are safe and warm in our house...but I'm wondering about Penny....can she hold that shit any longer? ... I might find a present in the house tomorrow, and I won't blame her.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Here we go again

More to come tomorrow. It's officially winter here folks.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I'm sort of lonely

My Russians are gone. I almost had a tear in my eye on Monday when we parted ways. Boris was the cutest Russian ever...and Pavel was ..not so cute, but had a very intense way about him. Just what women like..dark and sort of handsome...but not really. Sort of mysterious. Yet gentle and kind. I'm talking about Omar Sharif in Dr. Zhivago. But..Omar...was really handsome...anyway...

We said our farewells but not in the typical Russian way.. where he would whisper a passionate goodbye in my ear and I would fling myself at his work boots as he was walking down the driveway...he simply asked for the cheque because he had another job site to go to. That sort of took the romance out of the whole thing...bastard.

I'm still dreaming of the perfect man...but I have been alive long enough to know, that just ain't gonna happen....

So, I'm going back to my main man

Yes, I know you have seen him before, and I know you guys miss angel man...but this angel man actually cleans the snow off your sidewalk...even though he isn't Russian..I sort of like his big butt cheeks. They look comfy.

I just can't believe how much he looks like Gord...from the rear at least..even the boots...and the shovel....the halo and wings....not so much.

Ahh Fuck the Russian. I'm over it.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

A Russian saw me in my nightie

Early this morning (10:00 AM) I heard pounding on my door.

I jumped to see what was the matter
and what had caused all this clatter

And what to my wondering eyes did appear
A Russian....carrying all his reno gear

And he saw me in my nightie...haaaaaa haa. It was Pavel. He was standing at the side window with his hands clasped on either side of his eyes and trying to see if anybody was home. Well, hell yeah!!! We didn't expect them on Sunday morning. Actually he saw me twice, once when I was trying to figure out who was looking in our window...without my glasses ...and then when I put them on. I must have looked pretty hot...with my bed head and wearing a nightie from the turn of the century. We didn't make eye contact all day...heee..

Seriously, they are really, really nice people. But it was a nightmare today, because I was just starting to put my tree up and decorating the house, and they were trying to finish off what was was left to do in the bathrooms. We were sort of tripping over each other.

We got a bit of a surprise with the main bathroom, there was some mould on the gyp rock behind the panel that was being replaced. I could have figured that would happen because the the panel had cracked about 6 months ago. So, they had to replace the gyp rock, which was okay because we had a lot left from the repairs in the basement. It was just more time consuming than they thought.

So, on the inside all that is left to do is putting down the flooring in the bathroom, and rest can all be done on the outside. What a mess. We should have waited till after Christmas, because I really don't need all this crap right now...but it's starting to look really good.

I under estimated the room I would have for a tree in the living room when I brought down the teak wall unit. It takes up an entire wall... a big wall. The fireplace takes up the other wall, and because it's open concept type shit house there is only one more wall, that is where the sofa is. No room for a tree unless I put it in the front window....but this is where I have Penny's little heated bed so she can see out to the front street. It would be cruel to deny her a way of looking outside. The other window is blocked by the sofa, and she can't get up there.

So, yesterday I went to Canadian Tire, and bought two 4 ft. fibre optic "slim" trees .. and put them on each side of the fireplace. It looks really nice. Not as comforting as a big tree, I must admit. But we hardly ever go in there anyway...we stay upstairs, in this ridiculous house. I have my little village all set up here, plus a lot of vintage stuff I put up every year.

Then after I finished all that, I realized I have no place to put the presents!! ... but after some creative thinking.... we have a huge wood holder built into the fireplace. We don't use wood anymore, just the phoney balonie logs.. and it was empty. So, when the kids come over for Christmas I made it into a little Santa workshop, and we can store all the presents in there.

The little kids just love our "Wreck" Room. Normally I have nothing down there, especially now when I have thrown most everything out. But they like going down there anyway. There are so many hiding places down there, and the older ones play hide and seek with the younger ones. This year I think I will put the old Christmas tree down there, and buy a cheap ping pong table, to give them more stuff to do when they come here. They are all getting older and need a little more distraction ... but little one's just love the older cousins...and they play nice. Can you tell they are ALL girls? Put a boy in the mix...and it would be a shit show. Six girls! And Gord's other nephew who lives in BC has two girls.. not a man child in sight... Both nephews have been "snipped"... so this is all we have to work with.

I am looking forward to the holidays...still with some trepidation...but that is just me. I am also hosting MY family's Christmas this it's going to be a challenge. But the kids are older and don't have any of there own yet, so it will be just my bro, his wife, and the two girls with their boyfriends. This would be a good time to tease the girls in front of their boyfriends, and show them their baby pictures...I plan to that and more.. They should be afraid.

Sunday nite supper:

Pork Roast
Mashed Potatoes
Mushroom Gravy
Cauliflower/broccoli/carrot medley...
with a dab of cheese whiz to get our processed cheese needs met.

Friday, December 05, 2008

American Express

I had the the scare of my life today when I came home from work. I checked my messages on the machine and there was one from the American Express Fraud Department. Oh no.

My wheels were a spinning for a few minutes. How do I know this is really American Express? They just left a number, it could be anyone asking me to call them.

But I did.

When I got to the person I was supposed to speak to the first thing he asked me was for my AE number. I told him I couldn't tell him, because I had no idea who I was talking to. He said he understood and then proceeded to ask me a few more questions...and I kept on telling him I could not provide any answers because I didn't know who he was. I just wanted to know what the problem was. He said my credit card had been comprimised and they needed to know if I was indeed the cardholder. I told them I couldn't tell them anything because I didn't know who was calling. I said I would call AE myself and check out any concerns. He was fine with that and told me to call the number on the back of my credit card and tell them I had got a call from the AE fraud department.

I did just that. And it turns out my card had been comprimised!!! I normally never use it. When I make my normal purchases I use my regular credit card, but if I shop online, or need to give a card number on the telephone for some reason or other I use the AE card. It's just a back up if something happens. And it did.

Someone was trying to buy stuff in the US from a place called Hytek Vendors or Highteck I don't know the spelling....with my card number for $500.00 but it was refused. I was told my card would be cancelled, and if anymore purchases that weren't my own on the next statement would be credited back to me.

I started to think about the last time I used the card. And it was about a month ago at work. My boss had left for holidays and I ordered 7 bottles of water for our water cooler. Later that day the guy phoned back and said that our credit card had expired and needed the new date of expiry. Well, boss man was gone on holidays, so I didn't want to bother him, and I gave them my AE number. I knew I would get reimbursed. Also I knew his card had expired and a new date would be needed so I wasn't really worried. So, somebody in that organization had to have stolen the number....bastards....because I never use that card.

So, it can happen to anyone..... Don't think I won't be phoning the water company on Monday!! And I can bet they will be deny it could ever happen. Well it did.

This is just the way I like to kick off a card fraud....

I hope yours was better....

Thursday, December 04, 2008

They Russians are back

When I got home for lunch the first thing I noticed when coming up the driveway was Boris (the smarter of the two) rummaging around the driveway looking for something. I asked him if he lost something, and he mumbled something.. which I couldn't really hear....but it sounded like screw you! Huh....back up the Russian tank Boris!

When we got into a conversation, I realized he said ... "screws from our box fell on you." Well, yes then I understood, we were being screwed. But in reality they were bringing in a box which had drywall screws in it and PAVEL dropped it on the driveway. That Pavel....he is a naughty Ruskie. So, here is poor ole Boris trying to clean up the mess. Nothing says flat better..than a drywall screw in your tire.

But as it turned out they did a very good job down in the basement and the bathroom on the second level. They are a long way from being finished, but it's a good start. I really don't expect to see them tomorrow, because I think Friday is a National holiday for them....but let's see what happens.

I love talking to them even though they scare me sometimes. When they call my name...they yell..JOHN really loud, John would be me.. JOAN. "VAT'S WITH THIS.".... then I try to figure out what they are talking about. I guess yelling is a way to get attention...and hey... it works. The first time I had to change my pampers...I thought they were mad at me. But no... they just speak so passionately about everything. Then when they go about their work and I am in the background they speak Russian between each other.....softly. What's up with that?
They probably think they have to yell to make me understand them.

Hey, when I call long distance I still talk louder than I normally would. But that's only because I don't really live in this century.

JimBob made a comment yesterday and likened our reno job to a John Cleese episode in
Fawlty Towers (a show which by the way never fails to make me laugh my underpants off).

I hope these guys show up this weekend so I can spend more quality time with them. Maybe we can discuss Tolstoy, after all Anna Karenina is one of my favorite books.

I shouldn't make fun of them, it's probably not fair. So far I'm only judging them by their inability to show up in a timely manner. I know everyone has problems...and so far they have had a lot of them. One of there cars doesn't start, children have to be taken to doctors appointments, material wasn't name it. But, we are gluttons for punishment. When they are finished, we will drink Vodka and sing songs with them. And probably pay them more than they are worth. But, that's how we do stuff.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


I would like to say that we are going through a dusty horrible time with our renovations, but alas the reno men don't seem to keep a work schedule that would enable any dust getting into the air. They come ...and then to go. I don't know where they go. Then they come back again for a few hours...and then they go. By the time we get the few things that needed doing around here, we could well be dead.

They are Russian. If that makes a difference. They may be working on Russian time for all I know. Or they might be jet lagged after immigrating to Canada 10 years ago. It's just two guys. Boris and Pavel. Boris looks like he knows what he is doing and Pavel just sort of follows him around. Pavel looks like a grizzled old guy out of a Russian novel. They both speak with a heavy accent. Gord know how to pick em!! They showed up on Friday and worked in the morning. Then came back on Sunday for two hours and then they were here on Monday ...for two hours fixing the front door. It must have been exhausting because they haven't been back since. All their tools and equipment are in our garage so I assume they will be coming back.

Any home improvements we have ever made in the last 25 years have gone the pooper. Every last one of them. I was very leary about hiring someone again. We can't even get Sears to clean our carpets without incident. The guy who was doing the stairs lost control of the machine and it went through the wall. I will never forget the young man who came into the kitchen and told me.. Mrs. Martin, the good news is we are finished and the bad news is we put a hole in your wall...well shit!! Thanks for breaking it to me gently you Searsfuckeruppers.

We hired a guy about 10 years ago to put new linoleum in the kitchen. Apparently his knife was as dull as he was. It looks like shit. We had a guy put up some new boards on our open porch roof... instead of using 8 boards he used 4 and said it looked it looked better that way....yeah he quoted us for 8 and used 4...I guess it looked better..bastard!!

So I don't know when Boris and Pavel will be back. I think they may be secretly trying to over throw the Canadian Government. And if you have heard anything about the Canadian Political gong show that is going on here, Boris, just might be the new Prime Minister of Canada. He was smarter one of the two, which gives me some hope.

Monday, December 01, 2008

New Post

I have drawn a blank so I named it New Post. Original huh? I have a trillion things running through my brain but nothing anyone would be interested in. Just my own fears and the every day trials and tribulations. I should probably be taking some mood altering drugs. Do they still make LSD? They probably call that Prozac these days. I'm having a hard time trying to turn that frown upside down.

Yeah the holidays are upon us. As much as I like Christmas, my thoughts are turning dark. Nothing new. I will snap out of it.

Gord got a flu shot he feels sick...well fudge...he has never had the flu before!! Now he has it artificially. I thank the medical system for their wisdom. Personally, I will never get one. Famous last words. Two weeks from now, I will be trying to get your pity whilst I be moaning and groaning when I get it. COPY AND PASTE this sentence in your comments; JOAN YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. It would make me feel so much better.

Now go away and find another blog to read...this one is boring. ...but thanks for dropping in:) You deserve better.