Saturday, December 27, 2008

Merry Merry you Christmas persons

Don't read too loud, because I'm tired. Shhhhh...close your eyes... Can you hear me whispering in your good ear? Yeah, that's the way I like it. Because 5 kids were very very loud last night. Apparently my niece decided to buy each and every kidlet a "Burp Master" ...and a "Fart Master"...all which had three settings on it.

1. Monster
2. After Dinner
3. Regurgitation

Children love the sounds of blasts of gastric air coming out of their mouth's and anuses. I have no idea why I didn't think of it first...that bitch!! so...she was the hit of the party...and I only got them crappy old fart stuff like books and puzzles and stuff... I don't know where my imagination went to......I was the one who used to give this shit to my niece!!....I guess it's time to pass the torch over to her, at least I know I taught her well.

You know, it's kind of scary. I used to be the one who tortured the kids with all my craziness at Christmas and family reunions...but now, not so much. She probably was disappointed in my gift to her, it didn't blow up, nor did it fart. It was a set of plastic Tupperware type bowls that had a slot on the bottom to hold the lids, so you can never loose them. YES, I have passed the point of boring. Poor Tammy, she will probably never forgive me. Next year, I promise, I will give her the cheesiest gift ever. I will crochet her one of those penis holders.....even tho she doesn't have one. I I can I surpass the Burp/Fart Master?

We had a good Christmas. I didn't have to cook!! It was all brought in and it was good. It was quite until yesterday when all hell broke loose..heh...but it was fun. Even Hippy Chick showed up. More about that later.. I'm kinda of tired tonight.

I'm getting ready for the second dinner tomorrow with my family . I posted the rest of this yesterday and didn't I get a freebie for tonight.

Gord got me the Canon Rebel for Christmas....and you know what.. he is one smart guy. He also bought me the Canon Power Shot SD890IS just in case I didn't like the Rebel...I was yearning for.

There was no contest. I guess I didn't have a clue in the clues closet what I was asking for. I checked it out on the Internet and saw pictures of it in flyer's, but never saw one for real.

Yes, I wanted a SLR to take better pictures, as advertised with the Rebel. And planned on taking some photography courses in the future. But as usual I was blowing smoke out of my ass...I didn't know what I was talking about.

When I opened my first present, and it was the Canon Rebel, I was pretty surprised, on how large it was. But I squealed with glee...and yelled REBEL... and scared the dog.

I kept on touching it and and weighed it my mind...secretly thinking "this son of bitch" must weigh 5,678 pounds. After all I'm getting a little older, I have to think about how much pressure it would take when I strapped this sucker around my neck.....before it snapped. I'm thinking 3 seconds...before my head would be laying on the ground, rolling around a gutter someplace, trying to do "art" photography. When I am actually a "point and shoot" type photographer...and I use that term loosely. I "point" at the subjects heads, usually miss them them then "shoot" some very nice pictures of the background. So when I download my pics I can never really tell if I was taking a picture of a tree, or were there people actually standing underneath it? So, in short, I don't think the Rebel is for me. I think I will post that in their web site...Haaaaa. They will love it, and all the photo buffs in the world will know what a fecking dork I am.

So, when I opened my next present the Canon Power Shot, I felt more at home. She was light, and smooth..and we pretty well made out under the Christmas tree. This camera will take pictures in low light, without blurring, this is something I really wanted. So, Gord knows me better that I know myself sometimes...because he can see that smoke blowing from my ass...when I only think it's gas.

In defence of the Rebel, you could never forget it on the table of a baby shower, or a wedding, because IT'S IN YOUR FACE...even after taking off the halter ..umm strap off of it. So, I give it two thumbs up for that feature. But I'm not saying this is a bad camera, I'm sure it's one of the best for those that want to take quality pics. And have the patience to learn all the features. I however will live forever with the Elphs... Santa's Elphs.

I have a lot of pictures taken with my new Elph...but blogger told me to stick them where the sun don't shine. I guess everyone in the entire universe it blogging pic's and shut it down. Blogger, blogger, I don't care if I get thee for free.. I want to post a picture of my grand niece picking her nose with her eyes closed. It's an art form rarely seen in this hemisphere.

I have next week off. Sorry if I have been a little "off" lately and haven't come around to check on youse guys and leave comment... if I have; I could only muster a "read" see you next week. Then I will "giver shit."


A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Kids and bodily expeltions and functions do seem to go together like peas and carrots!
My kids roar laughing at the sound or word Fart!

Curtis said...

Wow a fart master, I've always wanted one of those but if Ellen were still alive she would say I didn't need one. lol. Sounds like some nice cameras and what wonderful descriptions of them. Glad you are having a wonderful holiday. Ellen always used Photo Bucket for posting her photos on Blogger.

vintagewindow said...

Hello, I just stumbled onto your blog via another blog (can't remember who's). Loved your witty post regarding the fart machines and cameras. I would love the rebel camera, but understand the need for a more compact user friendly camera.
My boys would love the fart master, but they really don't need a machine, they've mastered the art of farting on thier own.

Happy New Year


Sally said...

Yeah, I have to say the ones around here fart on their own also. hahahaha

Glad you love the camera (the one you love, not the other one) and will take LOTS of pics. :)

Brenda said...

Sounds like you had a fun time with family, and still more to come. I envy you the rebel but I know I'm not ready for one yet; still gotta learn to use what I have.

Have a great week Miz Joan, get some rest while you can!

We've got a few fart experts around here. :-)

Donna said...

My Hubby isn't as Smart as your hubby!! BUT, I've Got the Rebel and I'm determined to use it!!Hahaa...Everything you said about it is true...but it does take great pics so I'll stick it out.
Glad you had a fun Christmas Joan! Fartless...but fun!Hahaa...Happy day!hughugs