Sunday, June 29, 2008

Tying in my blog from Friday into today


I have two days off this week, Monday and Tuesday....let the angels sing! Tomorrow I'm going over to Hippychicks ranch for a visit and a belated birthday.

I have been searching for the ultimate...small gas barbeque..."grill" if you will for youse Umericans. Last week while perusing the internet, I found it. The Weber Q200. It's the cutest little thing you ever saw, plus it's got a decent grill on it. I wanted cast iron because they distribute the heat more evenly. Not those weenie silver oven racks you get with most of them. I finally found one yesterday at Rona. I went to every store in the city, and could not find it. I knew it was an American product and would probably have to order it over the internet, but didn't want the hassle of trying to return it, if I didn't like it. I am so happy. I haven't had a chance to take her out of the box today and I need an adapter to use it with a large propane tank. It's the perfect size for our deck. I can't wait to use it. As you may remember Gord screwed up our old barbie...if not don't worry it not worth repeating or linking. But fire was involved.

I think it the same one the Jetsen's must of used, to fly to all the different planets.

Did I tell you we sold Jake the Snake! Yup the snake man is out of our lives for good. That lawn mower is h.i.s.t.o.r.y. Some poor unsuspecting soul has him rattling around in his summer shed. And if the poor little guy doesn't have a summer shed, Jake will be prowling around the property all night by himself. Jake is a self propelled lawnmower, but over the years for some reason, he learned to take matters in his own hands and mow .. at will. The good thing was, when he would hit a tree he didn't have the brains to turn around, he just dug in and kept on trying. I will miss that old bastard. His tenacity was a thing to behold. Buh bye bud.

The only reason I am sitting on my deck "blogging" tonight is because the city sprayed for mosquitoes last night. It was near impossible to be out here yesterday. BUT, I didn't realize they were going to spray last night and didn't have my windows closed. At 4:00 AM I heard the trucks on our street and didn't have a chance to close my windows. I hope it doesn't kill us. Every year we have this spray or not to spray....but if the city didn't we would never be able to sit in our back yards with all the rain we have had the last week.

Monday: Taking it easy.....getting some needed rest.

It was a beautiful day..30 celcius...slept in until 10:00 AM...I let the world go away. Snored and snored. Got up, showered, had coffee, read the paper, had lunch and then got ready to visit the Hippy Chick a 102 km.'s away.

It was a good trip, I was nervous at first, because I haven't travelled by myself for a long time. I had my camera in my purse, but once I got there we were so busy catching up, and walking around all her wonderful flower gardens, which are still a work in process, but gorgeous. ButI forgot to take a picture! This should keep her busy for many a year to come.

Her veggies in her garden looked so healthy and vibrant. She has done a whole shit pile of work to her house since she retired, repainted the kitchen and and cabinets. It looks so great, and if you ever remember rounded cabinets from should see these. I'm thinking she should slow down, because she will be retired for a long time and might just run out of work. She also had a wood stove put in her living room which overlooks the kitchen ..dining room ...and it is beautiful. It pulls the whole house together. And I am in love with her dog Zowie. Who could not love a big ole girl lab. And note..she lives in the country and I did not get one mosquitoe bite.

When I got home, I started messing around making something easy and cool for supper. Then I went out on the deck only to be greeted by 1 trillion mosquitoes. The city just sprayed our area with Malathion on Thursday trying to eliminate the mosquitoe population, and perhaps the entire human population with chemicals. It was quite ironic, only a few hours earlier, I was sitting in Hippy Chicks Gazebo watching hundreds of Swallows swooping around in a feeding frenzie eating same damn insects we can't seem to kill with chemicals. I did not encounter one mosquitoe at her place, and we walked through the whole property. If anyone should have mosquitoes it should be her, she has two ponds surrounding her property. An obvious breeding area.

I made a very very good Lazagana yesterday.....all the planets had finally aligned... when we sat down for supper we smiled at each other across the table. We remarked to each other how lovely it was, and looked forward to left overs the next day. Then I turned into a Stepford wife....kidding.. I told Gord to remind me to put it in the fridge in about an hour or so, because it was still so hot. I forgot, he forgot........... it sat on the counter for 12 hours. So, I said all the seven words George Carlin said could never be said on TV this morning when I found it still sitting on the counter. I think I even scared the crow family out in the back 40...into silence. Did I tell you they have a baby with only one leg?. Now I have a handicapped baby crow who yells for his mama all day long. Do I phone family services? I think that is the same one who is tipping over my fountain in the pond. It's probably kind of hard to drink out of the pond when you are sitting on a slippery plastic pool ledge..when you only have ONE leg! Poor little fart, he probably fell in, and he is almost as big as my pond!

Happy Canada Day....or whatever day you like to be happy on.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Freeway speak

I don't know, I haven't got on the scale YET...but I think I am gaining a little bit of weight. The clothes all fit, but I feel fat, yet I don't look fat. I lost all this weight so I'm hoping it's just gas..heh.... I seriously don't want to go back from where I came from. I haven't gone out for a hamburger or a pizza for over a year. I'm eating well, but maybe last nights chicken chili ....and I had it again at lunch today.... may have been expanding in my pants...and has not yet left my ass. I might have to get a GPS system installed in my colon to show the food where to go once it is digested. I know the stomach intestine looks like a maze but how in god's green earth does the food know where to go? GPS my friends. I'm in favour of having one of those bad boys installed.

So, for tonights supper.............
....Green beans..Take the first turn on the I-( I don't know where I am going) go to the left, then take a right at the first twenty curves and then hang another left. It should take you right to her asshole. If not, she wasn't ready for you. Park. Wait for the rest of the stuff to come down...and get in the que. The chicken might take precedent... sometimes it gets just a little bossy. But, chicken if you are listening, I would suggest, you go to the right on the I-(I hope you know where you are going)...then take the I-(I think I see her asshole)...slow down if there is too much traffic.... because the beans may just have made their move, and personally I don't want to see both of you at once.

... now on to the rice. Go straight down to the I (I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel)...check both lanes, because the beans and chicken could be making a run for it. If they are coming and I will see you later on. It's a date. My boss is out of town, I can sit on the shitter all day if I have to.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my supper going in my mouth and out my ass. It was a journey, and thanks so much for traveling down this road with me. What are friends for?

Oh, and the mosquitoes.............don't get me started, I couldn't even sit outside tonight. Summer in over...and it just started. I need a screened in porch...RIGHT NOW.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I found my moth

I was watching TV tonight and when the news came on, people were commenting on the beautiful moths they have seen lately. Then when they showed a picture of it I knew it was the same one I saw in my bathroom. It's called a Cecropia moth.

Now if this subject is making you sleepy ...just press the X on the upper right hand corner and you will be out of your misery.

Here she is

The wing span is supposed to be about 4 to 5 inches. You will never see a more lovely moth. The one I saw had even more intricate almost looked like Aztec symbols. The web site said once you see one of these you will never forget it..and I haven't. I think my moth was bigger. It was a least 100 feet my 200 feet. But I have been know too exaggerate.

I am out on the deck, and this has not turned out to be the down time I imagined. A train is thundering down the tracks a mile away, and the wind is in the right direction to make it sound like it's right in my front door. Those fucking crows are getting on my last nerve. They are trying to get the babes out and about, and making me crazy...and to top it off, there is a soccer game going on in the community centre with 5,698 soccer mom's yelling at their kids...."Kick his ass"..."Trip him".. and then after that the soccer mom's and dad's assault the coaches and barbecue him. I love how parents these days teach there children well. Let's not forget my (over the fence) neighbour...he has started his Harley, his Corvette, and his lawn mower in the last hour. He never drives any of them, he just keeps on starting them, to be cool. HE DOES THIS EVERY NIGHT. I hate that asshole.

I'm going to phone the city to see if I can stop the ssssheezit. I used to like the froggie pond next door, but with all this other shit going on...I'm ready to eat me some frogs legs, make me a crow pie, and take the air out of all the soccer mom's vans in the Community Centre. Let's get serious, all those kids never wanted to pay soccer anyway...

I used to walk my dog in the park when the games were going on...and it was pathetic. The poor little tykes have to get on the field by 6:00 PM. Well, their parents only get home from work by 5:30...and stick a hot dog down their pie holes and rush out to the soccer field. All the while as the game is going on they are yelling...Justin...pull up your pants...Derek .. your shirt is on backwards...Jerome.. you are scoring between your own goal doesn't count bud! Some one else yells Shausa.. and I expect to see a large dog, but no, it's someones kid...geezzz... give the kid a real name!


It is too loud in summer....

Or I'm becoming a old fart bitch.......what say you?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Pecker Paradise

It's been one very long day. It was time to get all the summer stuff in gear. I may have been a little too optimistic because yesterday I tried a number of times, between thundershowers, and made no head way. But, today it was beautiful, I got the lawn mowed...and hey you guys.... remember "Jake the Snake" the lawnmower from hell, we sold him to some unsuspecting person today, as I was mowing the lawn with his girlfriend. She didn't notice him leaving. I hope she doesn't try going after him. I locked her in the shed. He.was.evil. and you know how it goes with the ladies, they always like the dangerous ones.

I have been dilly dallying with fencing around my little garden, I put up some decorative fencing, and then I thought it looked like crap, and put up some other stuff, and then I thought that look like all looked like crapolla. Until today, when I actually followed the instructions that come with it. Hey, you have connect them all together instead of putting them in separately. Now, it really looks like a shrine. Black fencing. So, today I decided it would be a shrine, because my bird "Pecker"...yes "Pecker"... is buried along the back fence. Pecker died about 10 years ago. He was the smartest budgie in the world. I taught him to talk, sing, and just be an ass hole like me. We were a pair! I could never hold a tune when I sang, and he would copy me and sing the songs out of tune. I couldn't whistle either, and budgies love whistling. So, I started to whistle the theme song from a Bridge on the River Kwai. And little Pecker copied was sad, but so funny. I loved that little guy. Hey Brenda... you know. I bet you miss your bird too. So, today I have named my garden....Pecker Paradise. I know where he is buried in his little tupperware container behind the ferns by the fence. He used to nibble on my ears and sit on my head. Remember the 80's when we all had big perms...well Pecker would get right in my curls ... he loved it. It tickled.

I haven't finished everything yet, but I made some good headway. I got all the fencing done, I took the old wooden patio table off the deck, because it was rotten and replaced it with another one we had years ago. It looks pretty good...maybe a little dated, but I didn't want to spend a whole shit load of money if we aren't going to stay here. It's amazing the stuff you can find around the house to compliment what you are doing.

We got out our patio tables and chairs this morning. It was so dirty, normally we have it in a shed, but we had run out of space last fall. I took forever to clean it.

Later in the day I decided to make a little place Penny Loafer I can sit and look at the pond and the wild life around it. Years ago I bought some huge green lawn chairs, and Penny loved them. So, I made a little section on the lawn in front of the pond where we can sit with a little table. Picture below.

Here is a bunch of pic's....and once summer EVER really arrives it should get better.........but right now I am so tired............goodnite. Don't forget to click on the pics, it makes them look so much more uglier.

The first one's are my favs..Regier Begionas

Do you see Clive? Remember he was found on my doorstep at Christmas.

Friday, June 20, 2008


Now that I have renegotiated my contract with blogger, I decided to put up my favourite template of the all those millions I have tried. Now, all is well with the world. heh...I know.

My boss had a major meltdown this morning. He lost his "calender" in his desktop computer. He uploads his stuff from his Palm Pilot to it everyday. Today when he went into it, all his info was gone except for birthday notices.....every meeting and event for the next three months had gone to "boot hill." But....he wasn't worried, he still had everything on the Palm Pilot. So, he plugged it in and ...what do you think he did?......come on...guess?

If you guessed he transferred all the info from the desktop to the Palm, you would be right....he did it backwards, so now it is really gone to "boot hill." I tried everything today to retrieve it, but nothing worked. Finally I did a system restore to the day before, but nadda. Also, I found his virus protection was gone too. We had a guy from head office installing a new program in his computer yesterday, and I think something went asunder.

I just got back for our annual Golf Tournament. No, I didn't play golf, I worked in the office until 4:30 and went up to the course out of town for dinner. I don't golf, so I didn't see any point in loosing a days pay for wrapping a piece of iron around my thick skull. The dinner was good, but was very rushed because everyone wants to get in and out on a Friday night. I have been organizing this all week with boss and I was a little tired of it all already. So, when I got home, it felt good just to relax on the deck, with my Penny, my laptop and my glass of wine.

I am overlooking my flower garden right now, and finding a million things better I could do with it. I have great plans for tomorrow, and am going to build more flower beds. If it fricking kills me!! I built one, and it's so pretty, so in my mind 4678 more couldn't hurt. It's addicting. But I must start pruning, our trees have gone wild.....another task for another day. And lets not forget the lawn is starting to look like shit........ahhhhh

Time to go in, the mosquitoes are coming out. I hate to go in. I gotta get up early I have a million chores to do.

Oh... wait a minute, I have to tell you about this moth? butterfly? I found in my bathroom last night. It has a wing span of about 6 inches, it was beige with beautiful was huge. I had just stepped out after 10:00 PM for a breath of air and forgot to close the patio door...and went to the bathroom, when this thing flew in. I panicked ... I thought it was a bird, but after I shit myself (good thing I was on the toilet) I managed to clean myself off .. and got a big Tupperware container and caught it while it was sitting and nibbling on my toothpaste tube by the sink. I brought him out and he tried to scamper back in, but I was too fast for him. I have never seen anything like that before. He/she was stunning.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

We have been having a nesting problem

In the last few weeks our bathroom fan wasn't taking out any air...and the humidity levels were rising at an alarming rate, setting off our smoke alarms and making me run out the shower and waving my panties in the air. Not a sight anyone would care to see. A naked older woman waving her panties in the air. But it did happen on more than one occasion, so in order not to scare the dog and Gord in the mornings anymore with my bare ass shaking around the hallway I (we)decided to find the culprit. Our bathroom fan vent is located......waaaaaaaaaaaaay up high outside the house, because who ever built this house was on crack; but if you look at it logically, that is where the bathroom is. We have a vent on the outside of the house, and it has a little flapper in it for the fan to take out all the unbelievable odours we produce in the bathroom, plus the steam from the showers etc.

The birds have figured a way to flip the little vent "thing a ma jig" open with their pointy little beaks and get into the venting. Bastards! I could hear them chirping in there. So, on Sunday when the fan was not taking anything out at all and all the putrid smells kept wafting back into our living quarters......action had to be taken.

Gord got the longest ladder God ever invented and set it up beside the house. He was on a "De nesting" mission. Being who I am, I started nattering. I hate ladders and was scared he was going to fall off of it. We created a small skirmish on the side yard, but I don't think the neighbours heard us.

Joan: Make sure the ladder is seated right in the ground before you climb up it.

Gordon: Yeah, just get me a flashlight, and a broomstick and shut the "f" up.

Joan: Huh? I don't think I will need a flashlight after I stick this broomstick up your ass!

Gord: Just get the stuff, and I will see whats up there.

Joan: Okay, but I don't have a good feeling about this.

Gord: You never do.... just go and GET it...I forgot to mention he was up the ladder facing the vent at this time.

Joan: Here is the flashlight and the broomstick, which would you like first?

Gord: Just throw up the flashlight and I can get the broomstick when you reach it up to me.

I threw up the flashlight and he caught it, and started to peer in the vent hole. It was totally blocked.

Gord: Give me the broomstick..heh...I did, but I didn't put it where I wanted it. Anway. He started poking around and pulled out ... not one, but two nests from the venting. The first nest was an older one, and the last one had eggs in it....awwwwww... and just as he was finishing he saw the mommy bird at the very back of the vent. She must have been sitting on them. I felt so bad, but it had to be done. Everything was plugged up solid. He came back down the ladder with the vent and left the vent hole open until he could fix it and let the little momma bird out.

This morning he came into my office at work (his business is in the same building as mine) and said he had solved the problem, he made three little bars over the vent cover so the birds couldn't get in, yet it would still be functional and let the air out of the house.

So, I thought I would screw with his brain a bit...and said " I have the answer to our problem with birds in our vents". He was all

Take the down the ladder!

Haaaaaaa, I killed myself laughing.. I couldn't stop seeing little birdies climbing the ladder......

I know, I'm sick.

But I'm sad for the Momma bird who lost her nest.

When I came home from work, I could hear a lot of chirping going on in there from the bathroom, word must of spread there was a vacancy. We gotta close that up soon. They don't pay rent.

Monday, June 16, 2008

A garage full of Lutherans

We had a great time at Gord's Auntie and Uncles anniversary. They held it at there house, but in their garage to be honest. They had the whole garage decked out in party style, with a picture wall of their lifetime together, and had tables set up for a party. Fortunately they removed their cars. That would have been intrusive. We had a unusual supper, it was brought in by a Italian caterer, and I was all........lasagne..spaghetti....but no. They made the Italians try to make German food. With little success. Instead of pasta, we had scalloped potatoes, the chicken was good and had a wonderful sauce, meat a gravy sauce, (German) ribs in sauce ( Italian), and ...heh..cabbage rolls. German/ was interesting. Side dishes were "herring" and coleslaw..und das herrinks mit dem Koleslaw ...made this ole lady take some unlady like shits next day. It was unusual and kinda greasy, so I guess on a scale of 1-10 I would give it ..3. But, so what... After supper everyone started talking, and the acoustics in the garage was starting to fail, and I couldn't hear a word anyone was saying.....yet, all these old farts could hear each other. .....they were screaming... I had to get out.

I sort of stayed to myself, and let Gord, my SIL Sheila and BIL Ron enjoy reuniting with their relatives. I know who they are, but it's not like they are close to me. They had a large patio outside where we could sit and umm (smoke) if we wanted to. I was amazed at the amount of non smokers I attracted.... who needed a fix. Plus there was two puppies, who became my best friends.

I didn't take any digital pics during the ceremony after supper, I had my little video/digital camera with me, but once they started to speak, I decided to go video, and I am glad I did. It was the best. Auntie Hedy is 77 and Uncle Eddy is 83. They told the best stories. Their wedding cake was soaked with homebrew, and then iced. Auntie Hedy said Gordon couldn't get enough of it, and he was only 8. Yeah, now I now why he loves his booze a little to much. There was so many stories that were told from the old days, but guess if I were to tell my stories from my youth to my nieces they would seem a little crazy too. Oy..I would never tell it all. I am sure they didn't either. I will try to take some of the video out and get pic's from it. But the video was 30 minutes long and I am sure you wouldn't want to hear a bunch of drunk Lutherans talking, clapping and burping at the same time.

On Sunday, I was bright and chipper, and started to work in my garden again after lunch. I worked my little heart out and finally got it to the stage that I wanted it three years ago. I'm getting closer. You have no idea how many times I have re-arranged everything, I am getting so tired of second guessing myself, but this may be the last year at this house and I'm going to make it the best I can. It was 6:00 pm already and I just couldn't get it right, so I got out the lawn mower and mowed the lawn, so I could get a better perspective on what it would look like, by the time I was finished I was geput. Talk about assholeishness. But, I was on a mission and wanted to finish it. But, I have come to realize, a garden is never finished, their is always one more thing to do. So, today I am drinking Ben Gay. And paying for my foolishness. But, I have a plan for this weekend and am getting the material together for Phase Two.

I hope they have wireless Internet in the ER.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fryday the 13th.

Boo! Nothing bad happened to me yet. There I go testing the God's of the thirteenth planet to reign havoc opon me and my loved ones. Come and get me. I will regret this. Shit follows me around.

I went shopping after work, and bought the necessities. First I went to the vet's and bought a huge muttha bottle of Glucosamine for the canine species, and will start to give this to the Penny Loafer on a on going basis. She is having such a hard time, it's time I take this in my own hands and make some changes. When Penny was diagnosed with arthoarthertis (don't trust that spelling) ...he said we could follow up with the Glucosamine, but even with the med's it is getting worse, so I took it upon myself to go there and get some. This is not my peppy little Penny anymore, and it's so sad. She wants to run, and when she does, her poor little right leg goes to shit. So, we do everything we can to keep her warm and safe and not bounding down the stairs when she hears a leaf fall. Lately, she has not even cared about the that...she seems to know her boundaries, and listens to me when I say my famous words UH UH! when she is about to run down the deck steps to tree a squirrel. I guess you know by now how much I loves that girl. Anyway, we do what we have to do...and I could regale with tales of how I have taught her hand signals and she follows my lead with a pointed finger. We are a team....sigh.... it will get better.

Busy weekend ahead, we have a 60th. Anniversary to go tomorrow for Gord's Auntie and Uncle, it should be fun to see all the old people I'm not. But seriously Gord's family has good genes and they live forfucking ever. One of his uncles is 98. And still driving. Heh...I don't know, but from what I can gather from his son, he only drives to the Community Centre which is only two blocks from his a tiny town. He still lives in his own house and has people coming over to help him with meals and laundry and stuff.. but the guy is as bright as the day I met him. Uncle Albert. Nice man.

So, tomorrow I'm going to go and harass the ole folks. Gord's Tante Tina will be there, she is 92 and I will try to out drink her. Not that is possible. But, I have been in training for a month now, and I have been trying to drink a litre of wine every day. Before we go tomorrow I will eat 30 pounds of pasta, a leg of lamb, and a shank of beef. I'm going to drink her under the table. That old broad is not going to get the better of me. And in between she will have some riveting stories to tell me. I just love her. Then we will have dessert and coffee.. with some Kahlua in it. She is such a mensch.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Business as usual

I'm not posting the picture of that horse, donkey or mule today. However, just to clarify when I went into Google and clearly asked for a picture of a horse's ass, that one came up. So, one of us doesn't know our "ass" from a hole in the ground.

Nothing much new here, still trying to dodge social obligations, the dog still walks funny, Gord is still trying to sell 4,576 lawnmowers that we have accumulated throughout our friendship..heh...over 35 years. He starts them all up on Sunday morning, just in case someone from the "Buy and Sell" will call. The cul de sac..she is blue. This Sunday, he decided to be my little helper and help me mow the back 40. I didn't need any help, but I wanted him to use the leaf blower to get all the seeds and crap off the back patio, and use his weed eater to get the edges where the lawnmower could not reach.

Well, fortheloveofoldbrokendowncrap....he couldn't start the gas leaf blower, nor the weed eater. All I heard was..."these 2 cylinder bastards aren't worth shit". Over, and over as he kept on pulling the pulley string thing on them....a gazillion times. I think if I pulled that pulley string more than two times, I would give up. I don't have the patience for gas crap that either floods or has a mind of it's own, and laughs at you in the process. I have an electric leaf blower, but butt head won't use it. I like to PLUG and GO. He finally got them started shortly after the smoke cleared off from all the lawnmower crap and made some more smoke.... and whole lot of noise. I buried my head in my Petunia's. That's all a woman can do these days. Stick your head in a Petunia patch and wait for it to be over. After lunch he told me he was going back to the shop and tar the roof of one of our buildings. Huh? It's 22 ft. high. He just had the "incident" a little over a year ago? Apparently some tenants were complaining the roof was leaking. I suggested we might phone some "tar" people and let them come and do it. You would have thought I asked him to cut off his balls and eat them! ridiculous could I be? Apparently, he has a 22 ft. ladder and has tarred it in the past. I must forgotten about that. He said it was an easy job, and I should just the calm the hell down ... then he mentioned he was going to Home Depot to buy the tar and if the weather was right he was going to do it.

I shook my "mother" like finger at him...but he took off anyway. So I spent the rest of the day listening for sirens coming from an ambulance (the shop is close to us)... I heard a few, but blocked them out because I was already in denial. I love's just such a safe place to be.

When he came home, YES, he had tarred the spots on the roof where the water was coming in, BUT after he had done it he realized he had bought the wrong stuff at Home Depot....and now he has to do it again. For fucks sake, can't anything ever go right around here. It's always something... it really is... Somebody didn't take their reading glasses to Home Depot. The same guy who won't get REAL glasses ... because he only needs them to read. Duh...

Oh boy, it's fun to be me.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Day 2

I am still doing penance. ... is this a horse or a donkey? But I am really attracted to his blue balls. Thanks Brenda to bringing that to my attention.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I think this says it all. I'm a horses ass.

I will wear this badge for a month, while I sit on my naughty seat.

It's time I get busy telling you tales of "what is"...instead of dinking around with the computer, even if the "what is" is not all that inspiring or even that interesting.

So, let's start with today. It rained. Lovely rain... my back yard looks like a forest. June is always the rainy month here in Manitoba. Yesterday I put all the outdoor carpeting on the deck and started to fix it up for the up coming summer. Today when I came home from work, it looked like shit. The winds and rain, brought down all the seeds from the trees and it's u.g.l.y.

I put up a doggy fence yesterday as well, so Penny won't be able to "tear" down the back deck, down the stairs, and into the back yard and chase squirrels and rabbits at will. This is not a high fence, it's a decorative fence around the patio that will get her attention. I don't think she can jump over it. She is really smart and found the opening to the back yard, to do her business, but if she just runs down on a whim, I think it will stop her. If it doesn't, I like the look of it anyway. It's really cute. It's still raining or I would have taken a picture. It looks like black rot iron, and after I put it up around the patio it looked like a shrine or something. Or maybe a's different alright. I'm thinking of putting it around my flower garden ... which someone... who shall remain nameless damn near ripped out all my plants with HIS weed eater. I need a barrier, because a man with a gas powered weed eater.. sees no boundaries.

Monday night supper:

Pounded chicken breasts (the store did that part) ...breaded with flour, egg and cornflakes crumbs, with added garlic, Parmesan cheese, pepper, fried in a small amount of extra light olive oil. Side of wild rice, and a garden salad. Yummers..

There have been a few funnel clouds spotted on the outskirts of the city today..which have given me some concern. We never have tornadoes as a rule, but all the rules seem to be broken in the weather world these days.

Now, that was pretty boring, and I could have put it up a notch...but I'm still sitting on my naughty seat...and doing my penance. It's going to be a rough month.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Good Grief

It's so good to be home. What was I thinking.
I'm addled.
If you are pissed off with my antics, please don't feel bad just take your favourite foot, and boot this blogsite goodbye. I certainly deserve it...but .. really don't...I loves youse guys.

Hi..blogger you bastard, I missed you, balonie has had a few issues, and she took them out on you. Ummm..not to say you had a few of your own. But, I took it to
another level.

As you may have noticed over the years, when I get a bean in my bonnet and when you won't do what I want you to, I'm a total bitch. ...but I was especially vulnerable these last few weeks "mit what wit the hormonolization of what is left of my reproductive system. Who knew it could get that hot in the house...but that is not really an excuse...I was just a total bitch after I spent two hours tying to get my post up I and should have just rolled with the punches, and sent it off the next day. What did I do instead? Made a big ass of is new.?

Am I still in the loop? I'm a jerk.

Monday, June 02, 2008

I have moved.

It's Always Something has moved to Word Press.

It's a short trip....... I'll make it worth the ride.

This will be my last post on blogger

It's Always Something will be my new address.

I am tired of fighting with it. Yesterday took the cake. I have been through all the crap since 2004, and it's time to move on.

I know some will disagree, but I almost put a hole through the wall yesterday with my mouse.

So, bye bye blogger, and to those that pop in here from time to time I hope you will come and sit a spell with me in Word Press. I will bring over "cooking with balonie" when I get myself all settled in.

Awww..I almost feel like crying...but it takes a lot to get me mad, and yesterday it was over.

Bookmark's just a click away......and it will be like the ole days.

Joanie Balonie

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Colour me old

Holy moly, I have been gardening since the break of dawn.... and I am tired. Okay, it wasn't the break of dawn but it was the the break of the afternoon. I think God forgot to oil my joints. I was tempted to take some of Penny's medicine to get through the afternoon.

I spread the whole flower/whatever garden with cedar mulch. Oh my! the smell is to die for. It smells like you are living in Vancouver. It was a big job and every bone in my body took part. Some, I did not know existed.

I didn't go the shower I was invited to today, even after all my agonizing about it. I just had to get this done. I hope they understand, but there is only so much I can do. I am still not finished, half my bedding plants aren't in, because ...hey... I slept in and started all this crap after lunch. I wouldn't have been able to do it all in one day anyway, it's just way to much. I got the base work done, and now I can do a little bit every evening and take my time planting the rest. This will probably be the last year in this house and I want to enjoy the view of my stuff for the last time. So, I am taking a lot of pictures, so I don't forget what I left. Bittersweet. But, I am looking forward to moving on.

The exciting part is where to place all the plants to make it look good. Penny loved the cedar mulch, it is so soft and fragrant and laid around in the garden all day. Her coat in copper coloured and sometimes you couldn't tell where she was because she blended in with the cedar mulch.

Gord actually stayed home the entire afternoon, and helped around the yard. Well his help, is a little different than my interpretation of what help is. Mind you, he power washed the bottom cement deck which really needed it. But, man......he is perfectionist...I am sure he stripped the concrete off the patio blocks. Is that possible? Remember those? Oy...the one's we almost killed ourselves with. If you don't ...we did. Then, instead of helping me cover the flower/whatever garden with cedar mulch. He decided to work on our upper deck, which has been sagging of late. When you come out of the kitchen on to the deck, there is a large gap between the house and the floor of the deck. And each year it gets larger. This year is was somewhat alarming. The dog could have fallen through it. heh. Okay, so I exaggerate. Normally we just put our deck rug over it in spring, and try to ignore it, but for some reason it has shifted considerably this winter. So....Gord had a plan. God I hate it when he has a plan.

Okay, the deck is being held up by a beam..which you can see in the centre, behind the bush and there is a tele post on the far right. Now, this is the little guy that is that is giving us all the grief. Well maybe not, this is the little guy who is keeping us from falling to the ground. As you can see we already shimmed it up with on 2x4 so our deck doesn't rock and roll when we walk on it. So, Gord was going to try to fix it today while I was flowering and cedering. What you don't see beside the tele post is a big mother tree...I mean big and it's right beside the tele post. So, Gord decided to use a small jack and a long with a piece of wood ..whatever 2x4 190x457 .. I don't know..and placing the jack on the tree truck horizontally using it as a brace along with this piece of wood to reach the bottom of the deck Are you still with me?

To keep this short, he tried this about 4589 times...he never gives up. And at one point he asked me to go up the stairs to see if it was stable. I could hear the stairs creaking and shit as he was doing this, and I was a little scared to walk up them, because when he asked the first time, the deck let loose and his 2x4 blew out of the jack and damn near put his eye out. and went down a few inches. But after that he took the sledge hammer to the centre beam and moved it up a few inches and the jack and stuff in place and then made me walk the plank again............and low and behold ... she held, and it's almost back against the the wall of the house. I guess I wouldn't have of got killed ... it's only 6 feet. I would have been well enough to get supper on the table. :)

THIS. while I am trying to put in my summer flowers. We don't work well together. Somehow, when we do, his projects overtake mine and I get sucked into his. All and all it was a great day, I loved working outside. That smell of cedar just blows me away, I have to move to the West Coast.

And you know what, forget it I have so many pictures but by the time I get blogger to do any of this shit, it's not worth the effort. For heavens sakes it 2008, lets get with the program....or am I just stupid.