Thursday, June 26, 2008

Freeway speak

I don't know, I haven't got on the scale YET...but I think I am gaining a little bit of weight. The clothes all fit, but I feel fat, yet I don't look fat. I lost all this weight so I'm hoping it's just gas..heh.... I seriously don't want to go back from where I came from. I haven't gone out for a hamburger or a pizza for over a year. I'm eating well, but maybe last nights chicken chili ....and I had it again at lunch today.... may have been expanding in my pants...and has not yet left my ass. I might have to get a GPS system installed in my colon to show the food where to go once it is digested. I know the stomach intestine looks like a maze but how in god's green earth does the food know where to go? GPS my friends. I'm in favour of having one of those bad boys installed.

So, for tonights supper.............
....Green beans..Take the first turn on the I-( I don't know where I am going) go to the left, then take a right at the first twenty curves and then hang another left. It should take you right to her asshole. If not, she wasn't ready for you. Park. Wait for the rest of the stuff to come down...and get in the que. The chicken might take precedent... sometimes it gets just a little bossy. But, chicken if you are listening, I would suggest, you go to the right on the I-(I hope you know where you are going)...then take the I-(I think I see her asshole)...slow down if there is too much traffic.... because the beans may just have made their move, and personally I don't want to see both of you at once.

... now on to the rice. Go straight down to the I (I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel)...check both lanes, because the beans and chicken could be making a run for it. If they are coming through...duck... and I will see you later on. It's a date. My boss is out of town, I can sit on the shitter all day if I have to.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my supper going in my mouth and out my ass. It was a journey, and thanks so much for traveling down this road with me. What are friends for?

Oh, and the mosquitoes.............don't get me started, I couldn't even sit outside tonight. Summer in over...and it just started. I need a screened in porch...RIGHT NOW.

6 comments:

Brenda said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Mary Lou said...

LOLOLOL Well at least you did not say my friend Mary Lou looking for a blogger LAY!!!! LOLOLOLOL Sorry. Now I will have to go back and read your post.

I have not gotten your email...did you use my newest one?
marylouchandler46(at)gmail(dot)com?

Mary Lou said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! My Doctor said almost those exact words as he was giving me my colonoscopy!!! well we are going down I-5 heading for the Fife curves below Seattle...(hard to laugh with a hose stuck up your ass!)

canuckabilly said...

Well I'm glad to see that you aren't behaving while I'm down here in the USofA. Your yard is looking a lot better than mine, do you want to do mine too. Ok so I've lost my mind. lol. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I think while I'm out I'm going to see if I can find one of the GPS thingies for the bum. Ok I'm through.

Louise said...

Where is Cooking with Balonie, now that I want to cook??

Joan said...

Geez Louise...I've been busy, but I have a good strawberry one coming up tomorrow.