Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Business as usual

I'm not posting the picture of that horse, donkey or mule today. However, just to clarify when I went into Google and clearly asked for a picture of a horse's ass, that one came up. So, one of us doesn't know our "ass" from a hole in the ground.

Nothing much new here, still trying to dodge social obligations, the dog still walks funny, Gord is still trying to sell 4,576 lawnmowers that we have accumulated throughout our friendship..heh...over 35 years. He starts them all up on Sunday morning, just in case someone from the "Buy and Sell" will call. The cul de sac..she is blue. This Sunday, he decided to be my little helper and help me mow the back 40. I didn't need any help, but I wanted him to use the leaf blower to get all the seeds and crap off the back patio, and use his weed eater to get the edges where the lawnmower could not reach.

Well, fortheloveofoldbrokendowncrap....he couldn't start the gas leaf blower, nor the weed eater. All I heard was..."these 2 cylinder bastards aren't worth shit". Over, and over as he kept on pulling the pulley string thing on them....a gazillion times. I think if I pulled that pulley string more than two times, I would give up. I don't have the patience for gas crap that either floods or has a mind of it's own, and laughs at you in the process. I have an electric leaf blower, but butt head won't use it. I like to PLUG and GO. He finally got them started shortly after the smoke cleared off from all the lawnmower crap and made some more smoke.... and whole lot of noise. I buried my head in my Petunia's. That's all a woman can do these days. Stick your head in a Petunia patch and wait for it to be over. After lunch he told me he was going back to the shop and tar the roof of one of our buildings. Huh? It's 22 ft. high. He just had the "incident" a little over a year ago? Apparently some tenants were complaining the roof was leaking. I suggested we might phone some "tar" people and let them come and do it. You would have thought I asked him to cut off his balls and eat them! ridiculous could I be? Apparently, he has a 22 ft. ladder and has tarred it in the past. I must forgotten about that. He said it was an easy job, and I should just the calm the hell down ... then he mentioned he was going to Home Depot to buy the tar and if the weather was right he was going to do it.

I shook my "mother" like finger at him...but he took off anyway. So I spent the rest of the day listening for sirens coming from an ambulance (the shop is close to us)... I heard a few, but blocked them out because I was already in denial. I love's just such a safe place to be.

When he came home, YES, he had tarred the spots on the roof where the water was coming in, BUT after he had done it he realized he had bought the wrong stuff at Home Depot....and now he has to do it again. For fucks sake, can't anything ever go right around here. It's always something... it really is... Somebody didn't take their reading glasses to Home Depot. The same guy who won't get REAL glasses ... because he only needs them to read. Duh...

Oh boy, it's fun to be me.


Brenda said...

I bet it would be fun to just sit and watch you two for an afternoon. :-)

Donna said...

And they Won't Ask anyone for help either...not that anyone in home depot knows about the product they sell....They're Really bad here...Duct tape That Works!!LOLhaha...happy day sweetie!!hughugs

Dorie said...

We have all these lawn mowers and a tractor and not one of them will just start up and go when you ask it to! We're getting a check from the Govt. to save the economy ;-) and I'm leaning to getting my very own, electric starting, to be "garage kept" lawn mower. They ought to make one in Barbie pink!

Lost said...

I'm as guilty as he is at forgetting my glasses. I only need them for reading - not shopping hahahahaha That's why I take a teenager with me - she doesn't need reading glasses LOL