Sunday, February 27, 2005
After my experience with the Georgie Porgie Foreman grill, I was still hungering for an appliance that was way to big for my cupboards. I found Mr. Crock Pot. I have been scouring the net for recipes today. At this point I am a little soured on the thought of cooking with this thing. Did you know, you have to put your food in it a week ahead of time? Yup, you can start your next Sunday night supper the Sunday before....and after 168 hours your entire meal will be cooked. Somehow I find this to be a bit of a deterent...because I don't know what I want for supper a week ahead of time. On the upside it would be wonderful to have a home cooked meal aroma throughout the house all week long.
This impulse purchase may being going down the wayside with Georgie. OR...I could use the "high" heat setting and start my next nights supper at 12:00 midnight. that's a comforting thought..... going to bed at 10:00 PM...putting on the alarm for !2:00 AM, getting up and preparing a meal in my nightie.
I didn't buy me the 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 qt. capacity pot....I bought me the biggest mother they had...the 5 qt. why? because I could... I dunno...blahhhhh
So, like, if you want to make a pot of Chili for a crowd of 100, in 7 days....this would be machine for you. I would highly recommend it.
Over and out!!
There are 5 of us. There has been as many as ten at a time, but some of them actually got a life and moved on. We drink, we eat, we argue, we make fun of each other, and discuss what ever has gone on in our lives that week, at my kitchen table. There is myself, hubby Gord (plowboy), Sheila (Gord's Sister), Ron, Gord's brother, and my old hippy girlfriend Janis at the kitchen table every Saturday. We have been through a lot of fun times and a lot of bad times, and I guess that is what keeps us together. We know each other like a book, but our personalities are as different as day and night.
Gord - is your typical blue collar worker, and has is own Appliance Repair business. He can be loud, a little obnoxious, and is very funny. He is actually a pussy cat and would give his shirt to most anyone who asked for it. He is often referred to as Gordy Goodguy, because he has no comprehension of the word NO...if something is asked of him, he will do anything...even if it's stupid. He is way to lenient with his customers and is always doing stuff for nothing. Okay, he's not very business savy, but that's who he is, a mix between Fred Flintstone and Homer Simpson.
Ron - An arrogant self made millionaire. He is probably one of the smartest people I know technically, but doesn't do well "playing with others." To his credit, he has a sharp wit, and a good sense of who he is, even if no one else likes it and loves animals..go figure. He is married, no children, and his wife is a bitch. He knows she's a bitch, so if he ever reads this he will be first to agree!!!
Janis - She and I have have been friends since High School. Our lives took us in different directions and we lost contact around 1970, and met up again about 15 years ago. Janis is very smart, educated, divorced, has two grown children. In the late 70th. she set out to "find herself" and became what we know today as a "hippy." She is just about "ANTI" everything; she can still be seen at demonstations, no matter what the cause! She has mellowed over the years, but you can still find a flower pot of dope growing on her windowsill. She has a great job, which entails "SAVING" the immigrants...see I told you...she is still a warrior. She is an advocate for immigrants that come to Canada seeking refugee status for atrosities commited to them in their country and they can't return.
Sheila - is the quieter one of the bunch. She has one grown child, never been married, and has 2 grandchildren and one more on the way. She has worked at the same job for 25 years, and is a dependable straight up person. She is always there when you need her. A rock.
Then there is me - quiet and shy, ........blahhhh my nose is growing. It's kind of hard to put me in perspective as I am the one writing this...so lets just say..I am a little off the wall. That should give you a good sence of just about everything about me. I have been married for 30 years to plowboy, no children, and none on the way!!! HA. Hey I should have copied one of those "Memes" and I could have just filled in the blanks. But alas I am Memeless.
This might get long.......so if anyone is reading this.....you might want to go away and come back another day!!!
Because, we all have such different personalities, we have had to set some ground rules.
1. Computer topics get 15 minutes...we set the stove timer so no one is allowed to go over. There are three of us who are geeks and the other two couldn't give a crap about computers. So when we start to see the geekless guests twiching we know our 15 minutes are almost up.
2. No, politics!!!...through experience we have found that some members of the group take our feeble government waaaaaaaaaaay to serious, which sometimes turns into a shouting match..
3. Everyone has their own chair. If you are caught sitting in another person's chair, you must immediately get off of it. After all...it's a rule.
Those are pretty well all the ground rules. Everything else goes!!
Last night was a good example of an AA Hour.
5:00 PM....I put out the snacks, make sure there is enough wine and rum in the bar, and tidy up.
6:00 PM... Sheila is usually first to arrive....we make small talk...play with the dog etc.
6:10 PM... Janis arrives...we make some more small talk, pour the wine and sit in our respective chairs.
6:15 PM... Gord arrives home...greets us all, and is generally annoying. He pours two rum and cokes one for him and one for his brother who................is now here
6:20 PM...Ron arrives...and rings the doorbell, he only does it to make the dog crazy, he knows dam well we are at home.
Last week Mr.Millionaire discovered he had high blood pressure, and the doctor put him on med's. Being who he is, he is finding this very difficult to take, as he believes his body is pristine...and this came as a blow. Anyhooo...he came in carrying a portable high blood pressure kit!!! He was pretty determined to see if anyone of us old farts had high blood pressure too!!...whatta guy...so, there we all are in my kitchen taking each other blood pressure...how bizarre!! His little charade sort of backfired, because even with his med's his pressure was still the highest...so to make him feel better, we told he had WON!!!... he loves to win at everything after all!! My hippy friend Janis started talking politics just as Ron was pumping up the blood pressure machine on himself...LOL...trying to get it higher!! I told him there was nothing to worry about that a little blood letting wouldn't solve.
Next topic was Ms Hippy telling us another one of her gruesome refugee tales. She usually stops when we start rolling our eyes.
....more drinks are poured and snacks replenished........
Ms. Sheila presented me and Gord with a lovely card with two gift certificates to TONY ROMA'S my fav. restaurant. She has just come off a cancer scare...and just finished the radiation and chemo two weeks ago. For the last 3 months I have been ccoking her suppers for her, and Gord delivers them next day to her house. The chemo really made her sick and she was not up to cooking. So, I just made extra stuff at supper for her. She really appreciated it. She has just got the All Clear from the doctor's so, we were all happy about that. She has just rejoined AA Hour, and it was so good to see her back.
....more drinks are poured and snacks replenished...
Next, we had an unexpected guest...yes, guests are allowed...but they don't get there own chair, they have to sit on my computer chair squeezed in the kitchen beside the sink. We have a pecking order.
....one more drinks are poured....and "guest" has to eat whats left of the snacks.
The conversation is now getting a little louder, and people start talking to each other in two's, and there are three conversations going on at once. It gets pretty confusing. I tend to see myself as moderator of the group, and try to steer the conversation to one topic. But, usually that is pointless.
....all the snacks are gone...wine bottle is empy....rum bottle is down a quart...and it's time to go home....
8:00 PM...I clean up, heat up some supper...........crash.
It gets pretty interesting in the summer when we all sit out on the deck. Our neighbours always seem to be out at the same time, trying to listen in to our sometimes very loud conversations!!
Who knew this story was going to be this long .... It's annoying enough having to participate in AA Hour nevermind reliving it on the computer!!!
Ahhhh, I love em all...
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Okie dokie....I got it...I was going to tell her that I used to read National Geographic at home in the early 60's. and was fascinated by volcanoes. And then my thoughts started running on, and remembering about getting the National Geographic at home...my dad, who did not subscribe to anything else but the newspaper always subscribed to the National Geographic for me and my bro. Remembering this brought on a whole bunch of new memories.....we were never allowed to use the National Geographic for ass-wipe...LOL.. in our house, until the early 60's we didn't have indoor plumbing and used the outhouse in summer, and a "a pail" in winter, which was in the house in a small room...and creosote was used to dilute the aaaaaaaaaa smell and feces..we would use the newspaper which was saved, to wipe our bums...and catalogues as well if they were out of date.......but never the National Geographic, because Dad paid good money for that...and it was saved by the grace of god from our asses.. bedside that, there were a lot of porno pics of poor people in different countries with no clothes on, which my bro loved.
Sometimes your little bum got sore, if you didn't take the newspaper and scrunch it all up and try to make it soft, before you did the wipe...lordy...those were the days...nevermind the spiders that were always in the outhouse.....f*k they used to freak me out. Then my dad used to spray the outhouse with DDT....a pesticide now outlawed....but shit...we are still alive...probably because we used to eat a lot of dirt and borcht I dunno..........
I will never forget when we got indoor plumbing...and real toilet paper...dad would have had us use newspaper, but it was recommended that only toilet paper would flush!! HEY...how's that for recycling...we did that before it was popular... you never had to take the newspaper up to the curb for recyling ...it was all in the PAIL...and the pail got dumped into the outhouse, which in turn, turned into compost. We were way ahead of our time... but.. I'm still wondering how much printers ink I got up my ass...
So, if any of you little whippersnappers ( can't stop saying that word) are reading this...thank the lord before you flush...or you could be reading your
lastest newspaper on your rear end..or the latest Dell flyer..and have a pic of a laptop painted to your hinnie....ohh my..
It's been a long week with Auntie funeral and such. It's finally Friday and I can sit and write and do what I wanna do...I'm trying hard not to do those "pity" blogs....and didn't mean it to become one of those with my last entry, but because it was part of my life now and past I decided to write about it. That is over... but now...I really need help (just kidding)...my Goldfish is dying....Autnie was 83, but my "big guy" is only 6 years old....just a baby.
Today he stopped eating....wow....I knew he had prob's, but I never thought he would stop eating...he is such a pig...so by the looks of it, I will have to scoop him out this weekend sometime and put him in the freezer. He's way too big to flush...breaks my heart..he is sooo cute. For some unknown reason I can keep goldfish alive for more than a week unlike most folks. Large goldfish have become a legend in my house. They start out in a ten gallon tank, progess to the 20, then finally 40....by then they are your best friend....and huge. I'm saying most of this with tongue in cheek, as there is no real bond between a piece of glass and whats inside...but I do really care for that little critters. He is sitting behind me now, in the tank at the bottom hiding behind some plants...and all his food has gone uneaten.. I keep turning around to see how he is doing...but nadda....call me crazy...but I will really miss him. I repeat..this is not a Pity Post....just part of life...most people woulda thrown him the garbage by now... anyway, I am going to try to find a pic of him...and it might come up on top of this post...or however this stinking blogger thing works...!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
I looked them all in the eye....and said...guess what...We, the new generation of old fart aunties are in charge now......"and we KICK ASS". No more coddling and mooning over your latest crayon drawings....we want results!!! Hip Hup...line up.. move on out..and all of that.. and we don't want any whining!...one little tyke piped up and said...auntie Joanie...can we still come over and play in your big house...hmmmm..okay...but don't go into my wine cellar again...you know what happened the last time!! An older niece said..."Auntie Joan, does this mean I can't send you anymore half naked pics of male models in email anymore....I said Kelly...it's this way...hmmm..ahhh well, yeah!...but don't make it a habit!!!
And so it goes, I love my family...and I miss those who have gone on...
PS...thanks Special K...I stole the "whippersnapper" word from you...I love that word...it tells it all.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
..Doing the laundry
..Taking the dog out for a walk
..Trussing a chicken (made that up)
..Doing the bookwork for our business
..but, alas, I am blogging....and trying to avoid reality. I have started on the eulogy but keep hitting the wall. I know what I want to say, but it all sounds so meaningless. I'm going to have to turn it around somehow, and do it from another point of view. I know that doesn't make any sense. But as I am writing this it is helping me think it through. I was thinking of giving a message to all the youngin's (neices and nephews)..that now all our elders gone, that with this new generations of aunties and uncles (my cousins and I) they had better shape up...because we kick ass!! ...put a little fear in their hearts ..he he....Old aunties were way to soft on em...
I got a real sweet message from my 18 year old neice after I emailed her of the passing of Auntie Ann. She wrote:
It's too bad and I am really sorry to hear that.
It was her time and now she is happy with the rest of her family by her side welcoming her through those big gates, I'm sure grandma and grampa will show her the ropes!!! man I miss them.
She was speaking about my mom and dad ..."show her the ropes"....too funny!
Enough procrastinating....I'm off to do what I must do...truss the chicken!! LOL...nevermind.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Yesterday was shitty too. My Auntie Ann died. She was 84 years old. She was the last one of my mom's family alive...now they are all gone. Seems so final. And so sad. Our family was very close, and always had huge family get togethers with aunites, uncles and cousins. I'm meeting with all the cousins tonite, as I will be doing the Eulogy for Auntie, and need to get some added information about her that I may have forgotten. It's kind of scary, because now ..WE.. are the elders. Next stop "boot hill." toot..toot..hence my need for good drugs!
I know it's Friday, I should be UP...but I just can't get there. I know, "bossy" cousin will be there tonight (not Aunties daugher). Bossy cousin, gets on my last nerve. You all probably have met someone like her in your lifetime...she's the one who knows absolutely F*n everything. There is no subject in the ENTIRE stinking world, she does not have an opinion on...or advice to give. I'm getting a headache already. I need a drink. Hopefully I can get out of there before I beat the crap out of her!! She probably wouldn't even notice if I body slammed her in a wall, her mouth would still be a yakity yakkin away.
Give me strength....
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
This is waaaaayyy to cute. Anyone with a kitter kat needs to see this!!
Just a warning sometimes it doesn't come up...and just sits there...be patient..and try again its worth the wait. I tried it again tonight and it came up blank..
I'm thinking a lot of peeps are trying to access it .... It worked fine this morning...dang
So, I'll tell ya the story...It's a little kitten licking the screen...or had you guessed...did the url "screenlick" give ya a hint??...and the kitten purrs when she's cleaning the screen...oh my...
I'm done here fer now..will peruse the rest of the garbage in my email and send you somemore bad links...........
Oh...BTW...Valentines day did not produce the Cherry Pie I was so desiring....HE THOUGHT I SAID I WAS GOING TO "BAKE" A CHERRY PIE!...yeah rite...on a Monday night?...Well Billy Boy, did not get his "Cherry" Pie...or anything near that area...whatta mensh!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
I am expecting a "Cherry Pie" and a quart of ice-cream... because that has always been the deal. In turn I have made a very nice Beef Stew from last nights pot roast with some nice crusty french rolls for dunking... and if he doesn't get his little ass home soon, he will be wearing it....
So, okay. I'm done...
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Ain't she a beaut....
What, you say?..."have you taken leave of your senses girlfriend?" Yup, I have ... I am the proud owner of "The Lean, Mean Grilling Machine." She's all mine.
Yesterday I had this incredible urge to shop. I haven't been out shopping since before Christmas and just....needed something... I couldn't put my finger on it...
So, I checked my wallet to see if I had a credit card that didn't have the black stripe literally swiped off it by now. And to my surprise, there was one which still had a faint black stripe on it.
I hopped into the "tank" and set out to do me some "shoppin"... I thought I would save me some time by going to the biggest store I could find...so I ended up at Superstore. You can buy anything here from groceries to whatever your card will hold. The store takes up nearly an acre of land, so I was thinking there should be something in there that I NEED. And, gosh and by golly there was!!
I parked Mr. Tank as far away from the store as I could, because it was Saturday, and there were a trillion people shopping. Parking and the "tank" don't mix. I need a clearance of...say.. twenty feet on each side of me to properly pull in straight in a parking spot.... and I need 1 mile of clearance behind me to back out. Fortunately, there is a large field behind the store and I parked with my ass facing the field...lots of room. Just when I got all nestled in my space and about to leave, a half ton truck pulls in beside me....wellforgodsake!!...he had the whole friggin parking lot to park in...and he pulls in beside ME!! I thought, it would be okay because I could just pull out the other way when I left. I opened the door of the tank, and.. 3..count them 3 large German shepherds started barking there faces off at me. .... I just about pissed myself. The guy had these dogs in the back of his half ton! I jumped back in the tank so fast, that my purse was still hanging out the door. I sat there for a minute, thinking .... shit... Now I'm gonna have to move because I'm not going out there with those dogs looking at me like I was dinner. Just then I noticed the owner was still in his truck, I thought he had already left....so I opened the door and ran behind him just in case the dogs jumped out of the truck. I made it...I guess he saw what I was doing...I am sure I looked like a wild women who had just been chased by wolves, and he said " the dogs wouldn't hurt anyone".....yeah....sure I said "they better not be there when I get out!"... no...I didn't say that, I just mumbled ...ah yeah..nice dogs you have there mister. I stopped for a moment before I went into the store to see what damage I had done to my purse after I'd squeezed it in the door jam. I could broken my credit cards fortheloveofmike!
Finally, it was time. Just me and credit cards...going for a walk. I didn't know on which side of the store to start in...so the electronics dept. seemed like a good place. I mostly just touched everything. I touched a really nice computer. I rubbed up against a huge plasma TV... we were meant to be together, but it didn't fit in my cart! By the way, out of 342 carts I could have picked, I picked one with a wonky wheel. I thought walking through an acre of store would be good exercise, but the cart actually gave me a cardio work out. Next off the Linens and stuff, I touched a lot of them, dug out the colours I liked from the bottom of the pile and put them back in places they didn't belong. After leaving a trail of destruction behind me, I journeyed on to HOUSEWARES....there had to be something here I needed, that I didn't have room for in my cupboards. I had a brief affair with a coffee maker, but couldn't quite make up my mind between that and a cappicino maker. I reasoned, that after all, I had never tasted a cappacino so this might not be the right choice for me, besides it was really big and complicated looking. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Georgie Baby. I "touched" him and Yup, aha, it just felt right! They had him in 2 different sizes small and family sized, and because of the menu I was now planning in my head, called for the BIG one. I loaded this puppy into in my cart. Okay then, now off to go and buy groceries to cook up in my new George Foreman Grill!
I perused the meat counter, and nothing appealed to me, nothing looked good enough for my Georgie. Most of it looked like "road kill" actually. I had two nice fat tenderloins in mind for supper, so I decided to stop off at the butcher shop on the way home and get them there. I wandered around and bought all the steak dinner fixings, baking potatoes, sour cream, a huge Cesar Salad, garlic toast, and fresh mushroom...nothing was too good for George. I would have bought a lobster tail too, but I cheaped out. Way to expensive this time of the year.
When I got back to the "tank", the half ton was gone..pheww all I would have needed is coming out of the store smelling like road kill to make those dogs crazy. I gently put Georgie in the back of the tank. I put him on the back fold out bed, just so he would have a nice smooth ride home.
Next, off to the butcher shop. They had run out of tenderloin steak...^%$$.. so I had to settle for rib eyes....and they were kinda skinny too. But undeterred, I bought them anyway. The lady at the cashier said..."so your having a Barbeque today, it's a little cold for that, isn't it?"... "Oh no I'm not doing it on the barbeque...I'M DOING IT ON MY NEW GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL."..I replied, with my voice an octave higher than usual. She looked at me in a kindly fashion, and said "well, isn't that nice", I have seen them on TV, but I have never bought one. I repeated to her all the wonderful things it could do..."it can cook meat on both sides at the same time...it's such a time saver, everyone should have one of these!!" She handed me my mastercard receipt, and as I left I thought I saw her "smirking." I don't take kindly to "smirking", but I figured she was probably just jealous.
By the time I got home is was almost 5:00 PM, and I unpacked all my groceries and took George out his box, and admired him. I read all the instructions and the cookbook. All set. Gord got home about 6:00, I showed him George, and explained all the wonderful things he could do. I expected a little more enthusium, but he was willing to give it a try. So, we started with the salad while the potatoes baked and the mushrooms fried and the bread broiled. Then it was time for the unveiling, I seasoned the steaks, read the instructions once more... it said 7 minutes would do it. Okay then.
I put the handy dandy little drip tray in front of him, turned on the grill and we waited. At precisely 7 minutes I opened the lid and the steaks looked wonderful. They were both evenly cooked ON EACH TIME SAVING SIDE. We started eating, and I am anxiously looking at Gord to see what he thinks...he takes a few bites, and says "this tastes like rubber"..."whatyamean rubber" 'I say," spitting out my potato. "It tastes like rubber" he repeats..."yeah I know I heard you the first time" "I yell", "but what do you mean by rubber?" He told me to try it, I did, and I told him I thought it tasted much more like an eraser than rubber. We went back and forth for awhile, while he is explaining that erasers are made from rubber....and finally I got up and gave the rest to the dog. We ate the potato, mushrooms, garlic toast and called it a night.
So, George is back in his box, where I hope he has a nice life on the shelves of Superstore.
Goodbye George...see ya pal...
This is a true story... I hardly embellished anything.........and I spent way to much time writing it...........only because my bloody dsl cut out in the middle of the blog I was going to send today...2 hours up my ass...........and it was a good one...much better than this crap ...now I got to start that one over.
breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to
have 8 to10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on
the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later
while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer
says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street,
so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out
and moves her car again. The next week they are again having
breakfast, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting
12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the
electric power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and
with a worried look on her face she says, Honey, I don't
know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to
park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice, Norman says, "Why don't
you just leave it in the garage this time dear?"
...you sorta have to be here .....
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
This picture was taken sometime in the early 40's. This is my family...goofing off. (and no, they didn't come from Cuba) On top from left to right is my Uncle Frank ... (Luigi Pasquale) as he was known. Next is my Uncle Oscar (Moses was his nickname)...and next to him is my "daddy"...Ed .. he's looking pretty cool, with his hat tilted on one side and his fancy vest.
Bottom row, my Auntie Kay... I never got to meet her, she died of diabetes before I was born. Next to her (the blonde bombshell) is my "MOM"...hamming it up and beside her is my fav Auntie Betty...they are all sisters. Imagine years after that, she gave me shit for wearing my skirts too short...maybe it was my hotpants...whatever!!
They are all standing on the front steps of my Grandma's house in Winnipeg. I have so many wonderful memories of that house. I started thinking today when I posted the pic, how diverse the world was then...and how they all met up with each other. My Uncle Frank was the son of Italian immigrants, who lived up the street from my Grandma's house, my Auntie Betty met him one day after he had thrown a snowball at her on the street. My Uncle Oscar, was an immigrant from Germany and had moved here before the war started with his parents. He met and married my Auntie Anna (who is not in the picture).
My mom and dad were Mennonites from Southern Manitoba. They met in Altona, where my grandma and grandpa used to live before they moved to Winnipeg. Mennonites, Italians and Germans...what a melting pot that was!! We had some crazy times.
Grandma lived in the North End of Winnipeg, where most immigrants settled when they moved to Manitoba. I think there was a different nationality in almost every house down the street. Jews, Poles, Ukranians, Germans, Chinese ...you name it. I think my Grandma and Grandpa were the only Mennonites on the block tho. I remember when the Italian Fruit man would go up and down the streets with his horse and cart selling fruit. There was a "Man" for everything, there was the fruit man, the ice man, the coal man, the policeman, the postman..
Grandma and I spent wonderful summer afternoons sitting on the front veranda talking and eating bing cherries! Grandma had really long grey hair, which she always wore braided and then curled up in a knot in the back of her head. I guess she only washed her hair once a week or so, and if we (my cousins and I) were lucky enough to be visiting at the time of the washing, she would slowly unbraid her long hair, then brush up all the waves... then yell boo! and scare the bejesus out of us...she looked like a Witch!!..we would always beg her to do it over and over again...I guess we liked being scared shitless...sometimes she took out her false teeth to make it even scarier.
My family were the only one's who did not live in the BIG CITY...we lived in Altona a small town about 75 miles away. We were sorta the Beverly Hillbillies of the family!!...What my cousins took for granted living in the city when I was young, was always unbelievable to me when I visited them. There was running water, toilets that flushed, parks, kiddy pools, really big stores, buses, movie theatres, and later TV... the list goes on. In the country we lived without most of that, until the mid 50's. Of course we lived in a Mennonite town where anything "worldly" was usually not well tolerated. My parents however, were not stonch Mennonites, and broke a lot of the traditions. They smoked and drank ocassionaly, and partied some with there friends. But, it was always well known in town, who the good and the bad guys were.
The best times of course in my memories are going to Winnipeg to see Grandma and Grandpa and the cousins aunts and uncles. On a Saturday night after Dad got off work at the Co-op ....we all hopped in the the ole Merc. with the suicide doors and took off to Winnipeg. My brother and I of course had a lot of back seat problems...there was this dividing line...my side..your side...don't cross that line you little bogger! I of course decided my line was a little larger than his...as I was older...but then he was smart enough to realize that didn't matter, size was size...(he was old enough by now that I couldn't bribe him with rabbit shit disguised as black balls anymore)..different blog. So for 75 miles we would be farting around defining our space......until.....Dad put on brakes ...and then Dad's hand comes over to the back waving around... and is yelling...DO YOU KIDS WANT TO GET OUT AND WALK TO WINNIPEG?... oops....aaaah no..."but he started it"...."I don't care who started it ...just stop it"!!!... Okay, already, phewww I not walking to Winnipeg, so we settle down for a few miles by playing "I spy"... I say"I spy" something yellow...Garry( my bro) can't figure it out for miles and miles...and he's telling me I'm faking....and another fight is about to break out, just because he can't get it...finally I have to tell him after he gives up...it's the label on Dad's beer bottle between his legs!!!..yes, Dad always had a beer or two going to Winnipeg. How politically incorrect that would be today....Garry and I would be in some kind of kid's shelter!! Family Services would have just gobbled us up!!.. It was just something that was acceptable in those days...my dad was never drunk...he sipped two beers while driving to the city.....but we live in a different world today..and have probably a thousand more cars on the road to hit now..if we were even impaired.
Just a note on the car...THE MERC...with the suicide doors...some will know what I am talking about, but the youngsters won't..... the back door were flush with the front doors..they were backwards actually...soooooooooooo...if you had a really old car....and were going about 60 miles an hour..which was fast...air would actually push the back door open if they were not secured tightly...and most weren't..if latches were old and worn..and most didn't even have locks... and there was two times I remember going to Winnipeg, that when these door flew open at 60 miles an hour...my brother and I acutally shut the fuck up....while we were pissing our pants... My Dad fixed it though...he welded the back doors shut. I think he wished he could weld our mouths shut too...but he being the nice daddy he was....he just told us again and again...DO YOU WANT TO WALK TO WINNIPEG?...oops...not really... lets play "I spy"...
So, the moral of this story is....a daddy needs two beers going on a road trip with children...
Sunday, February 06, 2005
I loved Paul Mc....he sang HEY JUDE....my fav song...all the "candle phoney lights" the people were holding were a nice touch...but there is nothing like a real Bic Lighter .. Hey Jude...was the only Beatles song I really liked..BUT Paul..didn't go "judy judy judy judy"...at the end....burst my balloon. Okay Live and let die wasn't bad...nice fireworks.
If your an American, I hope your fav team wins... I can't make sense of American football, but I can't make sense of Canadian football either... soI hope someone wins the Grey Cup...oops wrong country..
God Save The King
HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK
When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the shit out of her"...you need to pray at work
When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "what the f..k do they want now?"....You need to pray at work.
When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "Which one of you sons of bitches turned off my computer?"...You need to pray atwork.
When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "Well at my last office...", and you want to throw a stapler at him...You need to pray at work.
When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, "what the hell does this bitch want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk...You need to pray at work.
When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "both of y'all can kiss my ass!!"...You need to pray at work.
When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you say "that lazy bastard"...You need to pray at work.
When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think, "sorry ass M#$^%F%&#s"...You need to pray at work.
If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping or flattening someone's tires that you work with...You need to pray at work.
If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story...You need to pray at work.....
LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS
Wow, that's my Monday morning in a nutshell.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Examples of memes are tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches. Just as genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leading from body to body via sperm or eggs, so memes propagate themselves in the meme pool by leaping from brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can be called imitation. If a scientist hears, or reads about, a good idea, he passes it on to his colleagues and students. He mentions it in his articles and his lectures. If the idea catches on, it can be said to propagate itself, spreading from brain to brain.Memes should be regarded as living structures, not just metaphorically but technically. When you plant a fertile meme in my mind, you literally parasitize my brain, turning it into a vehicle for the meme's propagation in just the way that a virus may parasitize the genetic mechanism of a host cell. And this isn't just a way of talking -- the meme for, say, 'belief in life after death' is actually realized physically, millions of times over, as a structure in the nervous systems of people all over the world.
Okay, so...hmmmm ..what is a "meme?"
Do you pronouce it me me? or meam?...but I guess it won't make much difference because I am abviously never going to use it in a sentence.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Anyone not living in Manitoba wouldn't know what this taste experience means...it means a hamburger (NIP)..and french fries(CHIPS)....and chili on the side iffen you wants it. Not just any hamburger, the best hamburger....decked with a heap of fried onions...and whatever else yer little heart desires. And if you want the Salisbury Steak...which consists of a very nice piece of hamburger, hash browns, and creamy cole slaw and chili on the side...you will be getting the Manitoba taste of yer life...just go ask Burton Cummings from the "Guess Who"...he bought part of the franchise...but he is a home grown little turd...who doesn't have the self confidence of a "turd"...did I say that twice?...anywho...He thinks its cool to be from Manitoba now, when he's old and nobody's listening to his music anymore.... don't get me going on Randy Bachman..sigh
Years ago, when I was a bum and single, it was the best place to come after the "bar"(with god knows who) and eat, have coffee, harass the clientle, etc. ...the Sal's was the place to go.
ahhh, those "bar" days......I WAS BAD....sometimes I get to thinking...."what was I thinking?"..not much methinks.. because I was a real dumb ass....but that happens when you are in your 20's...but unfortantely I carried that out into my 30's....and hey... a little in my 40's...hmmm I don't think I'm finished yet..now that I am in the twilight of my years of my life..the 50's...phoeey F*it... I know what not to repeat...but I will do it with more dignity...
I will have to tell you all about a time in the 70's, when we had a party at a very nice house of a friends, and we all took our clothes off, when the pizza guy arrived at the door!!!! LOL...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
The results of this study are pretty interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too big...
10% of women think their ass is too little...
The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.
Hmmm....don't know about that...I got me a "big ass"...loveable, but's he a big "ASS"... hence the name of my blog...It's Always Something....and I don't say that lightly. In 30 years of marriage, I still never know what to expect when he walks in the door. It's been a bumpy ride, and hopefully we can bump around for a few more years!! He is a hard guy to explain, and won't start here, because I don't have the time ...that will be a weekend project...and most of you won't believe our roller-coaster ride through out our marriage...we have a lot of fun...ups and downs...BUT... I am never bored...because I never know what he is going to do next... and NO..he's not bi polar LOL...he is just who he is...
That's reminding me of the "bird" incident last week. He was driving along and saw a bird in trouble beside the road....he turned around...in the midst of rush hour traffic and picked up the bird and put it the back of the Bronco.. the bird probably was hit by a car or something. He came home..and was calling me..I didn't hear him at first because I was in the "lower level" of our 4 level fricking house ....suddenly I heard JOAN..COME AND LOOK....my radar told me..don't go..but I did...I ran up the stairs and he is holding a huge dead crow in his hand. I start yelling..get that out of here...(Gord) not paying any attention...proceeds to tell me how he found this bird flaping beside the road and it looked like it could be in trouble, proceeds to pick it up...putting his life in danger with all the traffic..(my words)...and stuck in the back of the Bronco and was going to bring it to the Vet.. but alas ... it passed away in the back of the Bronco...and now I am seeing this "stiff" but very magnificant crow in my living room. He (Gord)was visably upset....I didn't have the heart to tell him, that sometimes birds get stunned when running into things or things running into them....and if you just leave them alone for about an hour or so they will "fly away again." I have so many birds that fly into my windows every year...usually in mating season in spring...when they are not paying enough attention to where they are going...horny little buggers!!..and then..boinggg. they hit windows...but usually if I leave them alone...they lay there for a few minutes...finally get up...and then look a little stunned.... like they just just took a hit of LSD...and it was "going on". Then about an hour or so, they are gone...the trick is to leave them alone... Gord, trying to be Mr. Gordie Good Guy...killed Mr. Crow ...because he tramatised him by picking him up....and if Mr. Good Guy would have actually got him to the vet...and paid a trillion dollars for saving Mr. Crow...I would have to kill Mr. Good Guy....and so it goes... It's Always Something. Sigh
Just a note.. he said...as he was leaving, with the corpse, that he would put him in a garbage bag and put him in the trash container. Ahem..that did not happen, when I went to work the next morning...I saw he put the crow on our snow covered Cedar Bush...which is just beside my "tank"...and nearly scared the living jesus outta me... The crow is now in a loving home, a very nice green garbage container.. Gord loves Crows...he had one as a pet when he was younger...I will one day tell you all the tales of "Joe the Crow".... the smartest crow alive...he followed Gord and his sisters and brothers to school every day and sat at the window sill of their classroom till it was time for them to come home. Now that's a smart crow!