Sunday, February 27, 2005

Attitude Adjustment Hour

About 15 years ago, we started a trend that just never went away. We have what we call Attitude Adjustment Hour on Saturday nights from 6:00-8:00PM. Well, you might say that is not just one hour..it is two....yes I am aware of that, unfortantely it's impossible to get rid of the participants of this unholy union in one hour, as there is just way to much Attitude to adjust.

There are 5 of us. There has been as many as ten at a time, but some of them actually got a life and moved on. We drink, we eat, we argue, we make fun of each other, and discuss what ever has gone on in our lives that week, at my kitchen table. There is myself, hubby Gord (plowboy), Sheila (Gord's Sister), Ron, Gord's brother, and my old hippy girlfriend Janis at the kitchen table every Saturday. We have been through a lot of fun times and a lot of bad times, and I guess that is what keeps us together. We know each other like a book, but our personalities are as different as day and night.

Gord - is your typical blue collar worker, and has is own Appliance Repair business. He can be loud, a little obnoxious, and is very funny. He is actually a pussy cat and would give his shirt to most anyone who asked for it. He is often referred to as Gordy Goodguy, because he has no comprehension of the word NO...if something is asked of him, he will do anything...even if it's stupid. He is way to lenient with his customers and is always doing stuff for nothing. Okay, he's not very business savy, but that's who he is, a mix between Fred Flintstone and Homer Simpson.

Ron - An arrogant self made millionaire. He is probably one of the smartest people I know technically, but doesn't do well "playing with others." To his credit, he has a sharp wit, and a good sense of who he is, even if no one else likes it and loves animals..go figure. He is married, no children, and his wife is a bitch. He knows she's a bitch, so if he ever reads this he will be first to agree!!!

Janis - She and I have have been friends since High School. Our lives took us in different directions and we lost contact around 1970, and met up again about 15 years ago. Janis is very smart, educated, divorced, has two grown children. In the late 70th. she set out to "find herself" and became what we know today as a "hippy." She is just about "ANTI" everything; she can still be seen at demonstations, no matter what the cause! She has mellowed over the years, but you can still find a flower pot of dope growing on her windowsill. She has a great job, which entails "SAVING" the immigrants...see I told you...she is still a warrior. She is an advocate for immigrants that come to Canada seeking refugee status for atrosities commited to them in their country and they can't return.

Sheila - is the quieter one of the bunch. She has one grown child, never been married, and has 2 grandchildren and one more on the way. She has worked at the same job for 25 years, and is a dependable straight up person. She is always there when you need her. A rock.

Then there is me - quiet and shy, ........blahhhh my nose is growing. It's kind of hard to put me in perspective as I am the one writing this...so lets just say..I am a little off the wall. That should give you a good sence of just about everything about me. I have been married for 30 years to plowboy, no children, and none on the way!!! HA. Hey I should have copied one of those "Memes" and I could have just filled in the blanks. But alas I am Memeless.

This might get long.......so if anyone is reading this.....you might want to go away and come back another day!!!

Because, we all have such different personalities, we have had to set some ground rules.

1. Computer topics get 15 minutes...we set the stove timer so no one is allowed to go over. There are three of us who are geeks and the other two couldn't give a crap about computers. So when we start to see the geekless guests twiching we know our 15 minutes are almost up.

2. No, politics!!!...through experience we have found that some members of the group take our feeble government waaaaaaaaaaay to serious, which sometimes turns into a shouting match..

3. Everyone has their own chair. If you are caught sitting in another person's chair, you must immediately get off of it. After all...it's a rule.

Those are pretty well all the ground rules. Everything else goes!!

Last night was a good example of an AA Hour.

5:00 PM....I put out the snacks, make sure there is enough wine and rum in the bar, and tidy up.
6:00 PM... Sheila is usually first to arrive....we make small talk...play with the dog etc.
6:10 PM... Janis arrives...we make some more small talk, pour the wine and sit in our respective chairs.
6:15 PM... Gord arrives home...greets us all, and is generally annoying. He pours two rum and cokes one for him and one for his brother who................is now here
6:20 PM...Ron arrives...and rings the doorbell, he only does it to make the dog crazy, he knows dam well we are at home.

First topic:
Last week Mr.Millionaire discovered he had high blood pressure, and the doctor put him on med's. Being who he is, he is finding this very difficult to take, as he believes his body is pristine...and this came as a blow. Anyhooo...he came in carrying a portable high blood pressure kit!!! He was pretty determined to see if anyone of us old farts had high blood pressure too!!...whatta guy...so, there we all are in my kitchen taking each other blood pressure...how bizarre!! His little charade sort of backfired, because even with his med's his pressure was still the highest...so to make him feel better, we told he had WON!!!... he loves to win at everything after all!! My hippy friend Janis started talking politics just as Ron was pumping up the blood pressure machine on himself...LOL...trying to get it higher!! I told him there was nothing to worry about that a little blood letting wouldn't solve.

Next topic was Ms Hippy telling us another one of her gruesome refugee tales. She usually stops when we start rolling our eyes.

....more drinks are poured and snacks replenished........

Ms. Sheila presented me and Gord with a lovely card with two gift certificates to TONY ROMA'S my fav. restaurant. She has just come off a cancer scare...and just finished the radiation and chemo two weeks ago. For the last 3 months I have been ccoking her suppers for her, and Gord delivers them next day to her house. The chemo really made her sick and she was not up to cooking. So, I just made extra stuff at supper for her. She really appreciated it. She has just got the All Clear from the doctor's so, we were all happy about that. She has just rejoined AA Hour, and it was so good to see her back.

....more drinks are poured and snacks replenished...

Next, we had an unexpected guest...yes, guests are allowed...but they don't get there own chair, they have to sit on my computer chair squeezed in the kitchen beside the sink. We have a pecking order.

....one more drinks are poured....and "guest" has to eat whats left of the snacks.

The conversation is now getting a little louder, and people start talking to each other in two's, and there are three conversations going on at once. It gets pretty confusing. I tend to see myself as moderator of the group, and try to steer the conversation to one topic. But, usually that is pointless.

....all the snacks are gone...wine bottle is empy....rum bottle is down a quart...and it's time to go home....

8:00 PM...I clean up, heat up some supper...........crash.

It gets pretty interesting in the summer when we all sit out on the deck. Our neighbours always seem to be out at the same time, trying to listen in to our sometimes very loud conversations!!

Who knew this story was going to be this long .... It's annoying enough having to participate in AA Hour nevermind reliving it on the computer!!!

Ahhhh, I love em all...

3 comments:

Joe said...

Hey girl, I listen well. I went and watched the start of the race and came back. GOlee your still talking! Sounds like fun. Where are you in thes pictures? No faire hising behind the camera! I posted one of my granddaughter and me a few days ago. Have a good week girl.

Special K said...

What a fabulous weekend ritual. I LOVE get-togethers like the one you've described, and you're right: you need some ground rules or it's a gong show.

Who knows? Mebbe next time I'm in Winnipeg, I'll drop in on your party and grab that squeezed-in seat by the stove. ;)

Brian said...

Sounds like fun. I'd come even if I had to sit in the computer chair.

But...where are the pictures of you? My mental imagery is incomplete!