Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloweenski

I just had Cinderella at the door.. She had to be about 3 years old, with a tiara, and a velvet red dress. So v e r y cute. The weather is so beautiful all the kids are coming tonight. Last year we were finished by now. I was shelling out the treats by the handful, because I thought I would have way to much like I did last year, but I can see I will have to cheap out on some of the last one's to arrive. I kept 5 Crispy Crunches for myself. I'm not a real big fan of chocolate and candy but I love Crispy Crunch..cause it's a little bit sweet and a little bit salty.

I can't believe how many dad's are taking their kids out...and a lot of them have digital cameras...that sort of made me nervous, maybe they thought I was putting crap in their candy bags.

Talking about sweets...I bought Gord and Apple and Caramel pudding cake for this birthday. Well, for a person who never eats cake...and always refuses cake at any event, I made a pig of myself. I could have taken THAT cake, and bathed in it. It was so good.

..those damn kids are at the door again...heh..

Nope it was my next door neighbour who brought over her 9 month old granddaughter.. in a pumpkin suit...awwwwwww... so cute, the best part was I didn't have to give that kid candy so I got more left over for the rest of them....or Gord. I have been slapping his hands. The guy has a serious sweet addiction.

The winner tonight was a little East Indian girl dressed in traditional garb...she was so beautiful, and wanted to come in and see the dog. I can't imagine why, Penny was sitting on top of the stairs in front of the door barking down at her. I don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful little girl.

It's I'm shutting it down.

I hope no one tips my outhouse tonite....oops... I just went back in time. Catch me when I come back to 2008.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Nibble on this

From a Mind More Fertile Than Mine

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Today is....

Our 36th. Anniversary and Gord's 64th. birthday.

Good grief...where has the time gone? At this point, I'm just happy to alive,and have a good job. I'm not taking anything for granted anymore.

Birthday boy is out having a drink with his bro and tradition.

Gord and I celebrated our anniversary at lunch, we had take out subway sandwiches at home ...heh... And to make it SPECIAL we both choose different toppings than we usually do. You know..trying to get out of the groove. WE KNOW HOW TO LIVE IT UP!

And for supper, I am making homemade chicken fingers..and stuff. And cake and presents.

Chickens don't have fingers...that part has always confused me.

I made an error in judgement today. I tried to go into Safeway through the automated exit door while someone else was coming out. That was a mistake I probably won't make again...Damn near did a face plant on the parking lot. The poor lady kept on apologizing....and I kept on telling her "it's okay"..."I only have a slight concussion," and it wasn't your fault, after all I was not paying attention! As I was picking up my handbag ... and it's contents strewn on the pavement, I found a penny on the ground and the "head injured" part of me said "let's go in this casino an play the slots."

I walked into Safeway looking for a machine. I stumbled down isle after isle trying to find a slot machine with my penny. Finally, I found one. But it only took Loonies (1.00) coins...and all you could win was bottled water. I kept on looking for a slot machine that would take a penny. My head was aching. I stopped in the Pharmacy, and asked them if they knew where the slots were, and they took one look at me and said I should probably sit for awhile. I did. They had nice comfy chairs there, so I rested for a bit. Then I noticed a machine right beside me. It had a digital display on it, and a place to put your arm in. So I did that, but once I got my arm in it there was no place to put my penny in. The display kept on telling me to put pressure on my arm with his hose thing. Screw that...I thought, if you don't want my penny, I am out of here.

So I wandered through the store. I tried to put my penny everywhere, but nothing took. Finally as I passed the Starbucks coffee place, one of the girls took pity on me and asked if I would like a Caramel hot chocolate. I said.. ummm yes..but you don't have a slot machine. She said, it's okay, we give these samples out for free after 5:00 PM. I was still shaken by the door banging incident...and accepted her generous offer and sat down and shot that bad boy back. It was good!

I was finally coming to my senses. But I still had the found penny in my hand. No slots to play...I had to come up with a plan. I had to spend my penny. I bought a few groceries, and as I came to the check out counter, there was a box taking donations for breast cancer...and slipped the little guy in. Every penny counts.

In memory of my mom Margaret Kehler.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The dirty deed..she is over

The seven day make-over is finished. I know, I watch too much HGTV! And, I only spent 230.00 dollars. That was for a new quilt for the bed, faux suede...soooo soft, new bedding for the downstairs bedroom, and two area rugs. Did you know, shag is back? Yes it is. I now own it again. But this time they it's a little shorter and it doens't leave footprints when you walk on it. They were having a "buy one, get one free sale at I scored these two puppies. So, that was that, and rest was just re-use what I had and put it in different places, and just throw the rest out. To tell you the truth, I didn't know I had it in my anymore. I used to do this all the time. But once I got going, there was no stopping. It will be wonderful to come home from work tomorrow, knowing the house is clean and funtional once again. And I will be ready for the painters when they come in.

I took some pictures but they turned out so dark, because a rain storm was looming...and the sun would pop out for a second or I ran and got my camera.

The wall unit is in place downstairs...but I haven't put anything in it yet, nor do I have the lights on the inside connected because we will have to move it to the centre of the room once the painters it's pretty bare. Before...


That little TV is only in there to show where the big one will be once we get it down there from upstairs.

Good Grief...why is this man standing on a ladder at my kitchen counter looking in? He sort of looks like a walrus...he has nails in his mouth instead of whiskers. You might to click to get that part. He scared the livin bejesus out of me while I was cooking supper last week. I didn't realize he was going to fix the window...which is 10 feet from the ground!! And suddenly he just popped up!! Any guy that wears a tie, to fix a window, is your man. It's a good thing he wasn't pissing me off, because all it would have taken was to push that window out from the inside and...goodbye Charlie!! But, of course I jest. I would never push my husband off a ladder. Wink.

The cleaned up living room later. The queen's throne (Penny Loafers) is in the front of the window. It's a heated doggie basket...with a throw on top. Nothing is too good for her hind.ness.

This is the actual dining room area...and the kitchen is on your left. but we made it into a small TV area...where we had the actual wall unit to start off with. now it gone downstairs...goodbye and good was to too big. This was the designated dining room for the house, and it will become one again once we get rid of these fart infested chairs...and move on down. Right across from this is my office. Which I will show you in a sec. We really don't want to go down the stairs to sit and watch TV...because that means you have to come back UP again...and its so far away from the bedroom and kitchen...and snacks.

Like I said everything is kind of dark. this is my office off the TV room. You can see the dining room table sitting by the wall just waiting for a chance to get INTO the actual dining room once we rid of those stinky chairs and buy new ones for downstairs...are you all still with me? nevermind...try to keep up.
I cleaned up the deck, took off the carpenting etc...and left the few begonias that made it through the first frost on the table. They are hardy. Everthing else went south.

Guess what this is?

I can't tell you how much this temporary winter tent/storage shed Gord put up in our patio makes me want to hurl. I can see it from my kitchen window...and it's shiny and silver and ugly. I won't go into his reasonings for putting it up, other than it's storing stuff of no value.'s his stuff, I just got rid of's in the dumpster. And trust me, next spring, this shit will be needing legs, or I will blow it up. I'm embarrased to admit I helped him build it...only because he has a bum knee and kept on whining about it when he was putting it up. Finally I went out and yelled...yes, I yelled..."just keep on crawling around on your bum knee"...and you won't be able to walk tomorrow!!! He told me you know what...and then I told you know what...and then I said ..JUST A MINUTE LET ME GET MY SHOES ON. And the rest is history, we built a ugly shed shit thing. I'm a sucker for punishement.

The poplar tree beside the deck...getting ready to go to sleep for another year.

So are's been a great week, I wish I could keep on going with more projects, I have a ton of them I would like to to.

BTW.... I finally heard from JimBob....I still owe him 5 bucks when I promised not to change my template again. To him I say:

JimBob: I haven't heard from you for about 8 months...but I guess you didn't need the five bucks then....but I have heard youse guys in the US of A.. are having a hard time of it these days.. Our economy in Canada is doing quite well, so I am in a good position to pay out my bet. PS...good to hear from you again...missed you.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm smiling

I'm getting a new blog built for me. This should stop the madness. A home I can call my own, without hating whatever I get for free. So, I am in the process of trying to figure out exactly what that is.

I have been reading "Gemmacks" forever and she made my first template, along with her friend Lisa and I loved it. But as time went on I started to learn HTML...and thought I was one smart cookie and didn't need these guys. Well, the new blogger sure put a stop to that nonsense. I have to admit it was fun making your own blog from scratch...but who the hell has time to learn all the new stuff...not me. Good God, I have a Pyzam template up now, so that is about as low as you can go. So, I had to call in the professionals....and for a very reasonable price..check her out.

We just finished moving down our three piece huge mother of a wall unit down to the living room. It wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be. Teak is lighter than most woods, so it went pretty smoothly, except for my incessant bitching because I thought we would both wind up dead and nobody would find us . Going down sure is easier than it was bringing it up 8 years ago when we got it. We are putting the house back to it's original plan. Way back when we turned the dining room into a small TV room and put the wall unit in it. Which had room for a TV in it. Then we surrounded it with our Archie Bunker old lazy boys...that were duct taped and gently farted on for a decade. Very comfy. I am sure none of this makes sense because this is a 4 level split house, I will take some before...and after pics...mainly after... because most of it has been done. I'm loving moving everything around, and getting all the dust bunnies out of their holes. In the next few weeks we should have it painted and ready for Christmas...then ready for sale whenever we decide to build our new house. At least it will all be presentable.

I really love my office. I don't know why I didn't think to set it up this way in the first place.

So, I will be a busy bee all week and weekend. I can't tell you how excited I am. I went shopping this afternoon for area for the walls, new bedding for the bedroom....lamps ..oh how I love lamps everywhere!! I hate overhead lights to pieces..and plants...lots of new plants. I am transplanting the few I have left that were neglected the past few years and getting new ones as well.

It will be wonderful to come home to a nice looking home, instead of the old neglected one. We let it go far to long. But there was was "always something that held us back" now this is a priority. Tonight we actually took our old love seat and booted it out the door!!! No "love" lost there. I will keep the matching sofa till we get everything straightened out. Gotta sit somewhere...mind you we still haven't booted out the fart infested dog haired duct taped lazy boys. So, we can still park our asses in a comfy seat for a limited time.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Now I can't find anything...

I was going to post some pictures, but I can't find my cord to the camera...I know I put it somewhere...heh. Maybe re-arranging stuff at my age, might not be such a good idea...ya think?

I have a pretty good idea, but I was to lazy to go and find it.


Something short of a miracle happened to Penny in the last few weeks.

After 8 months of pain in her right leg, veterinarian assessments.... medications...etc. she has come out it almost good a new. A month ago, I was ready to say goodbye, because I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore. I discontinued all the med's and just kept on giving her pain pills plus Glucosamine Hydrochloride. I kept on giving two of those pills a day. I knew it was a long shot, but I have read that so many dogs respond to that with arthritis, but some just take longer. Well it paid off. She is off everything except the Glucosamine. And doing fine thankyou.

We have play time as usual every night. She still has issues with climbing the stairs, but this is so much better. She is getting the quality of her life back, which was missing before. So maybe I can squeeze a few more years out of her. I just love my pennykins...

I took this the other day when she ran into the garden and ended up nesting in my rabbit patch, I call it a rabbit patch because it's those furry little plants that grow in a circle.

I am all pooped out. I have been cleaning all day.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bet you were wondering where I was staying..or not

I have been been "decluttering" my home.

Unfortunately, that meant Gord and the dog had to go...but you have to pay the price. I did give each of them a formal letter stating what my expectations were. Unfortunately for them, it was a little to late.

Okay, I kept both of them, but none of their junk. Nor any of my junk. Nostalgia...I spit in your face. I tired of you always making feel guilty about recycling things people have given me. There is only so much crap you can display in your home. And all the stuff my mom ever gave me for my birthdays, Christmas etc.....I just can't keep it all. It breaks my heart, but I am narrowing it down, and keeping the sweetest stuff. Stuff that really mattered.

It's only Tuesday, and still have miles to go. It's a big house. I started this last year, but I was much too timid. This year I mean it. We will have painters coming in soon, and I want them to be able to paint the walls without all the shit in front of it. It's a real work in process. Everything is being re-arranged..wall units are being moved .... my office has moved...and in the process we are keeping everything off the wall, just enough until the painting is done. Tomorrow the closets.. I can hardly wait it get in there and keep on chucking stuff out. Do you know, we still have Gords first Skidoo suit he wore in 1970? I think I kept it because I was glad he was alive after the crashed the Skidoo...!! Shit like that is what makes me crazy. But when I go into the back bedroom closet with all my mom's stuff in it I feel like crying...and feel like I am betraying her; I still have all her Christmas decorations.....but at Christmas I can't put them up...I take a few that we had at home when we were kids, and the rest were newer stuff I helped her decorate the tree with after Dad died.

I'll leave it to you I give all the stuff away? What about the china cups and saucers, German books I can't read, and stacks of cards she had saved forever from her family. Also, I have saved her favorite sweaters with all the flowers on it, T shirts, and a nightgown. I know this might seem a little crazy after 9 years...but I just can't seem to let them go. Oh, let's not forget her lace curtains. Most of the time, I don't even realize I have them, and only when I go through stuff I find them and then the guilt sets in. I think I need to let them go. They only bring me down when I look at them. I just want to remember her, not her stuff. It's not like I am throwing away a family artifact.. it's just stuff. Like mine is right now...just stuff.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I'm on holiday for a week

I'm not going anywhere that I can remember. God forbid I bought plane tickets online and forgot about it. Sometimes I go into my own world when I sit down in front of my computer and say and do stuff I don't remember until the next day....when it all comes back to me. But, I'm sure I didn't buy the 3 day package to Las Vegas I was dreaming about.....tell me I didn't. I'm sure THAT would have come back to me. Or maybe it was true and I can go.

Painting...yeah... I forgot about that shit. I have to paint. Bummer, it's all come back to me now. No getting on a plane and flying high to Vegas for me. Colour me...pissed off. Remember when that was a popular saying...colour me....yeah well I'm still saying it...because I'm pissed off. Colour me "yellow"... now that is pissed off.

I need a week off from my job, Gord and Penny Loafer. I like my job and I love both Gord and Penny very much, but ALL the above are very needy, and I have almost worried out my worry beads.

I think I will call a painter, and let him screw it up instead of me. Because we have never ever had work done in our home by "others" that haven't led to disaster. Gord made a list of things that need doing in the house last week by tradesmen. He expects me to contact them and get stuff done in the house.

I feel a great big cloud a disaster about to befall us. It's looming. The last time: We couldn't even get our carpets cleaned without a crisis when one of the guys knocked a hole in the wall with his steamer thingofamajig. The guys that were supposed to put our linoleum in the the kitchen left a gap going into the hallway and we kept on tripping on it......after repeated requests to repair it a guy came back and put a huge pile of glue on the strip. Which now looks like a camels back. We no longer trip over it, we climb over it. Bastards. I am so not looking forward to getting tradesmen in here, but maybe I can find a good guy. I will have to check out his cute ass out first.

There is nothing like fall, that makes you want to puke. And yes, it's all pretty and shit with the leaves.. lets get down to basics....All the shit you have dragged out on to the decks and the back 40, has to be taken in for winter. In spring, it's a delight...because you have forgotten about most of it....and you set it out again for the summer. You are a dumb ass every year... and forget about fall! First you bring up all the patio tables, chairs and umbrellas ... and really talk yourself into thinking, well.... this year I'm only putting out 5,789 garden Nome's...a tin man, plastic ducks around pond...along with their cousins...the frog with the cute little fishing pole, a huge ceramic Carp, and of course "Clive the Moose".... plus fake flowers, $300.00 dollars worth of Annuals, .. and hey... no prob....what is so hard about this? Yeah...then fall ...kicks your ass .... and you have bring all that crap in. Find it a home in the garage or a shed. THEN....this is where it gets a little testy. Gord and I do not agree on where stuff should be stored. I get pissed off and he stores it all over the stinking place, in the garage and in two storage sheds and I have to find it again in spring. I have a hard life.

So, on Sunday, the fall storage cycle starts all over again, and to tell the truth, I would rather have crows pick out my eyeballs....than do the fall cleanup with him...

Someone will get hurt.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Stuff that breaks your heart

Stuff that really hurts and makes you cry for your best friend. My friend ... and sister in law Sheila...who you saw and read about in my previous post at her 60th. birthday turfed from her job she had for 40 fucking years on Tuesday along with most of the people in her department.

She was a single mom in the mid 70's and when she got this job she held on to it tight, because it brought in the bread and butter, so she could take care of her son. In those days they didn't even have day care. She struggled to make a better life for him.

She held on to this job really tightly even after he got married and had kids, because this was her life. Her future and retirement. And those BASTARDS after all those years gave her the old heave ho. I fucking hate corporations and their re-structuring crapolla.

For the first time in her life, last year, she bought a a trailer park. She has always lived in an apartment or a small townhouse when her son was still at home. Now, she finally had a home she could call her own .....and she loved having a little yard ..and her own home. A real place that wasn't rented where she could do anything she wanted to. And this shit happens.

She still has 5 years to go to get Government Pension.....and her buy out package from her work is ugly.
But I think she has another option that could save her some money, but am not to sure about that yet. She will know by the end of this week. Getting old is fucking nuts..... I 'm so glad I work for a little company without all the bullshit. No corporate take overs here...yet?

Hang in there Sheila....Attitude Adjustment Hour (AAH) is just a few days away... and we will put it to good use. We got your back.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I'm sticking with this one for now

And...I'm kinda loving it. It's a real "grown up" template. Maybe bloggers will take me seriously now... without all the tomfoolery I do. Yes, this is a very serious blog. Everything in here is in black and white.. That means I can can discuss politics, religion, and world events. Like that would ever happen.

So, on to the weekend. Sheila who is one of our Saturday Night Attitude Adjustment Hour AAH members..and SIL and best friend who just happened to turn the big Six-0 this week. Her son organized a family birthday party at a local restaurant. Along with all her grands...(3) and family.

We had a great time. The food was fabulous. I ate tooooo much. I'm still not hungry. We rarely ever go out to eat, and when we do...oy...we stuffed ourselves. I won't tell you what I had, because I know you will make fun of me. It's something I could make very easily at home, but I wanted to taste it somewhere else. Plus, I haven't had french fries for almost a year and a half. Okay... it was the "Chopped Sirloin (hamburger steak)..topped with homemade mushroom gravy. Along with a wonderful greek salad, rice, Potatoes ( I chose fries) and broccoli and carrots in a cream sauce. Oops, I forgot the garlic toast!!! Then Birthday cake after that.

The birthday cake was the hit of the party...her son bought a cake with a Halloween theme to it, and most of the icing was black. Let's see what that looked like.

Oldest grandkid
This is Sheila talking to her littlest grand..We call her "T"...the sweetest little one ever.

She called her Grandpa for the longest of time...but now she is grandma...she is showing off her new watch, her other Grandma gave her that afternoon while she was watching her. And she won't take it off. In the pic she has just told Sheila...Gamma..."you are three." We kept on telling her to tell Sheila she was 60 years old...but she kept on saying gamma was three, like she is.

This is best picture of her middle grand.... isn't she sweet...

I know their parents are kinda iffy with their pictures on the I have kept their names out of it...

After supper when we were all having coffee and stuff, the youngsters went down to the bar with their cousins and maybe a Grandpa in tow...and sat on bar stools watching the entertainment. It was just a guy taking requests for songs, and the kids just loved it. The bar was empty because it was a long weekend out here, and they just sat there mesmerized by this guy singing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree".....and stuff like that. Then the guy asked for birthday requests....and of was Grandma's birthday and we called down from the balcony to the kids and told them to get him to sing Happy Birthday to Grandma.. And he did, and we cheered. It was a very good evening and Sheila is so blessed to have these kids in her life.

Mother nature pulled a trick on us this weekend..holy smokes...three days of rain .... and I haven't even taken down my summer stuff off the deck or even cleaned up my garden. Snow will be next....

We almost lost our Penny Loafer. Gord opened the back gate to take out the garbage to the front street tonight..and left it open without thinking. We had let her out in the back yard for about 15 minutes before we realized she hadn't come back in. And it was dark. I panicked. I knew she would leave the yard once the gate was open......but I also knew she would go next door because she is in love with the guy that lives there....but she wasn't there. OMG...I knew she couldn't get very far because she has trouble walking, so I ran back in and got my flashlight, and ran up the cul de sac yelling her name. All of sudden I saw a little dog walking ...slowly down the street towards Penny Loafer............................ my heart started to beat again. We would have never forgiven ourselves for being so stupid. , dogs whatever... we are the caretakers of those we have born or taken into our homes.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

At ease

Take off your sunglasses, I have come to my senses.

Go about your daily activities. Nothing here to see...go... but

PS.. let me know if you see some of my previous post cut off at the beginning of sentences. It might just be me. I want this to be over... I have other people to annoy.

Yours truly,

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I just turned on the computer

And my blog colours scared me. I know it's fall, and it's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canuckland, but there is no excuse for the obnoxious use of leaves and pumpkin coloured background. If I were you, I would take up a petition to "ride me out of bloggerland." Get a posse together...and shoot me at sundown.But, even though I'm a little.. no...make that a lot anal about colours I would like you to shoot me during this kind of sundown which I caught last night out my front door of our cul de sac. Hey, I said something in French. Now I am sure to be able to get a job in the Canadian government...go me! Along with with my second language ..Mennonite Low German the sky is the limit.

I spend most of the afternoon trying to choose paint colours for my living room, and realized how inept I am at it. I realized what I chose has to be correct...I can't just change it like my template. I have cathedral ceilings fortheloveofmike...I have a shitpile of stuff to paint and the walls are HIGH, and I can't make a mistake. It's huge and vast, and unbelievably annoying. Never buy a house where you have to rent scaffolding to paint. My next house will never have ceilings like this again. I hate them. Sure they are pretty to look at but they are a pain the ASS to maintain. And don't even get me started on the 1980's stipple on the ceilings. I would have to rent a fork lift to paint them. I was thinking of painting the walls a dark brown, so the the white ceiling wouldn't look so dirty. I'm thinking the contrast will make them look..umm whiter. I could be wrong. Give me the easy way out, and I'll take it.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

The Vagina chronicles continue...

I think I figured it out.

Tuesday at work I decided to sit on my leg/foot on my chair at work because it was stiff. I crammed it up in under my ass, and when that leg/foot went to sleep...I changed over to the other one. So, apparently the heels of my shoes bruised my nether regions. I will have to remember not to that again. In a way, I kicked myself in the ass. How befitting.

Nothing new. Normally OTHER people do that. But, I just saved them some time.

I was reading a blog today and was reminded of my Vagina blog yesterday. This chick is funny. Praying to Darwin

Here it is:
Someone at the Y has a sick sense of humor. They’ve booked 12 babies, 13 toddlers and 6 preschoolers for lessons. All at the same time. The family change room is a freaking mob scene. I put my head down, try to concentrate. I’ve managed to get both kids and myself into suits, through the washroom and into the showers. As I’m congratulating myself on my superior organizational skills, my son pulls on my hand to get my attention.

He points at a woman 2 shower nozzles away. In his best stage whisper, he says, “Mom! Her regina’s gettin’ away!”

I look to where he’s pointing. The woman is, indeed, wearing half her moneymaker outside her bathing suit.

Do I shush him, tell him not to be rude? Do I worry that my son has been scarred by the sight of what looks like a weather beaten squirrel hanging out at his eye-level? Do I reassure him that it is not “gettin’ away”?

No. I do not.

“Honey, it’s VA-gina, not RE-gina. Regina is the capital of Saskatchewan. Try to remember that.”

AHHHAHHA..I guess you have to live in Canada to really appreciate the humour here. I love his lady. "half her moneymaker"........ man that is funny. And the weather beaten squirrel...OH MY... I just laughted my bruised ass off.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

It's pretty busy in here

It looks like someone "shat" a shit load of leaves on my screen.. (say that fast 5 times)...sometimes too much is way to much. I just got dizzy reading my own blog.

And by the way... my vagina hurts. How can that be? I'm 63. It should be gone by now. Doesn't God just remove it when they are no longer useful or valid? But it feels bruised, and I don't think I have used it lately. I can hardly sit in one spot for more than a minute. I must of have humped something last night...and I'm sure it wasn't Gord. He had water on the knee fortheloveofmike!! And was in pain. I know I had a bad leg cramp last night and I was sitting on the edge of the waterbed ..a small little ledge and must of hurt my nether regions trying to get my cramp in check.

I'm walking around like a $10.00 ho.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Water on the knee and stuff

Gord's got water on the knee ....again. And he can hardly walk.

They used to call it housemaids knee...because woman used to be on their "knees"...all the time..whether they were scrubbing the floors or just obeying the da man.

I know how Gord got his...because has been down on his knees for 30 years fixing appliances trying to make a living. The knees are the first to go. He has been on a waiting list ... like forever to get something done. Nobody cares whether he has to make a living....he is just a number ... and if you don't have a life threating illness, you have to wait.

I know he fucked it up last weekend, taking the tires off his bike and putting on the new ones. It was a hard job....he still doesn't want to admit it.....but I know..... balonie always knows... I almost wrote..mama knows....but that would be icky. But, some days it's like he is my overgrown kid. But, it goes both ways...we got each others good and bad times. Only this time I got his big ole housemaids knee staring me in the face. And I am wondering why I don't have it...but I have come to the conclusion that I just work SMART.

Just taking a look at my kitchen floor when I came home from work today , would answer that question. The dog dragged in a million leaves from the back 40 because it rained last night. Someone missed the coffee pot container this morning, and there are coffee grounds on the floor. We had Subway sandwiches for lunch today. A treat, just to put a smile on Gord's face because his knee hurt...but we scarffed down those sandwiches so fast, most of it fell on the floor, the dog ate everything that wasn't when I came home after was a little crunchy under the table. Personally I get a little scared...when lettuce stays that crunchy on the floor for over 3 hours. What are they putting in our food? Now, I had to clean this floor....but I don't ever get down on my knees and clean it up...and CRY . Nope....I have a million other things to do when I get home from work. I have supper to make, veggies to chop, a little wine to drink, stuff to fry or bake, and fruit juices to make for Gord and a doggie playtime. I will deal with it when I get a moment, and our house will never look like like a pig pen, but when the weekend rolls around I will swiffer & vacumm it...and make it look presentable. And yes, there will be dust bunnies I haven't caught, but I can't be bothered with the little shit anymore....

If you know what it's like to have your own busness and you don't keep regular hours like the 9 to 5'ers ... plus I still work my will understand. We do what we have to do. Pretty soon I will be the only one here that is able to walk....Gord will have to use Penny's ramp to get out of the, this is making me nervous.:)

Sunday, October 05, 2008

hello fall...

How do you like this template?...don't answer that... it's just my impulsive behaviour rearing it's compulsive ugly head again...but to my's all lined and not crooked like the other one. I found a gold mine of templates be forewarned.

This weekend tended to be more challenging than I expected. Gord and his bro went out for a ride on their bikes late Saturday afternoon and his bro's bike broke...don't ask me the details...anywho...Gord had to tow him back into the city with a rope. IN THE DARK. I'd like to hang both of them with the very rope. Good grief, get a tow truck already~ Sheila and I were waiting for them at my house and they never showed up....and I was getting a little crazy in the head as the time went on and we didn't hear from them. You really don't want to be travelling on the highway this time of year when the deer are crossing at random. Especially when you are towing another motorcyle..........awwwww I can't believe they did that.

When can I ever relax? IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING SOMETHING. Give me a break! I'm glad Sheila was with me, because I was getting a little nuts because we didn't heard from them by 8:00 PM. They are unusually back here by 6:30. She kept me calm. Thanks Sheila, if you are reading this, I do have a tendency to over think things.

I learned how to text message this weekend. I took off my blinders and just went for it. My niece sent me a text message on Friday...and I was not about to look like an old fart. I just use my cell phone for incoming calls, I have all the bells and whistles, but ... hey I don't really need them. But on Saturday afternoon I sat down with the manual that came with the phone. Well fuck, that was a very big waste of time. I had to use a magnifying glass to read it. The type was so small. I decided to just keep on pressing all the buttons on the phone to see what they could do, and it didn't take me more than 5 minutes to figure out all the features and how to use them. Hey, I have my dancing pants back on now.....

Plus today I learned a whole lot of stuff about making DVD's ...and it's so easy. I know I have the technology, but I just don't have the time to sit down and make it happen. I'm not stupid....just short of time.

I have a great supper cooking in the oven. Scalloped potatoes..with onions, , diced ham, left over chicken, mixed veggies, in a Carbonara sauce topped up with a a combo of 4 grated cheeses. I made this recipe up. So, let's see if it tastes good.

I have my Sex in the City DVD (The Movie) in my hot little hands tonight....but, I want to save it for a day I can actually sit down and enjoy it. Thanks again to SIL Sheila for the BD present. It's killing me...but there are two CD's in the set and I am going to find a time frame when I can just sit down in front of the TV to enjoy it. I am savoring it. Now, I have something to look forward to...I don't know how long I am going to tease myself...but I'll know when the time is right.

I just wish I would have more time to crotchet, do my digital scrap booking...and all the stuff I love, like some of the stuff I was fooling around with today....learning new stuff. Knowledge keeps you young, whether it is computers, or just reading about stuff...and trying it out.

Carry on...

Thursday, October 02, 2008

I'm still eating cake

I just put up a short blog last night....but even tonight I'm still feeling happy. I really, really enjoyed last night, and let me tell you it's been a long time since I felt that good.

Normally I would poo..poo my birthday...but for some reason this year, I needed my girls...Janis (hippychick) and Sheila. Usually, I am a total douche bag. I hate my birthday and don't like the attention. I liked my First time ever I think. I loved the conversation, and catching up on each other was good. I must be getting old. I'm letting my defenses down. Next thing you know I will start "hugging." God help me.

Cards and yellow roses (my fav from Gord) and the last red rose Janis had growing in her garden.

Janis brought me a bunch of tomatoes...look at that big one!!! along with some spaghetti squash, and another squash on the right...I can't remember the name of it. I have no idea what to do with it. I might just keep it for Halloween, and scare little children with a mean looking pumpkin.

I can't believe the amount of food I ate last night. After eating a WHOLE slab of Tony Roma's back ribs and sides...I had cake later. That is crazy...... I never do that. I rolled into bed.

And then this showed up on my patio table this morning. If anyone can guess what this is, I will crotchet you a small a prize....look at it's little eyes...nose and's so cute. It was very tame, I took it inside and put it in one of Penny's baskets. And the wonder of it all was that Penny loved it. Now I have two pets. I have named her Rocky.

I can hardly type, because I am scarfing down the rest of the birthday cake. Burp....

Time for bed for this old broad. Being in such a good mood scares me, sure as hell something will happen over here to make that go away.....but for now...I'm good. .. and am on my second piece of cake.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I had a good day

My two bestest friends helped me celebrate my birthday today. They brought presents and cake.

I love them, and sometimes I think I take them for how can you not love those that give you a large rock and a DVD of Sex In The City and cake for your (more on that tomorrow).

And let's not forget Gord.... for the 12 yellow roses. ...........I am blessed. I think he likes me.

We also shared an wonderful supper together..........friends forever.

No bitching from me tonight ...I going to bed a happy camper.