Thursday, July 31, 2008

Lost my iddy biddy diamond..sob

This afternoon after I was coming back from the bank and going back to work, I was sitting at a red light and just glanced at my hands on the wheel of my truck, and realized the diamond on my engagement ring was GONE. It had come out of the clasps and I don't know for how long. I remember about a day of two ago, I kept getting the ring caught while I was dressing for work...and I think it had gone missing before that, and the clasps were hooking on to my clothes. I don't really look at the rings everyday...because they have been on my finger forever, so I didn't notice.

I am devistated. Gord gave this to me in 1995, and even though it was not the diamond of the century, it was mine. The only piece of jewellery that I own along with my mom's gold "family ring" with my bro's and my birthstones in it. I really treasure that, but I still want my diamond. As small as it was. My finger feels nakid...the wedding ring was set to fit in with the engagement ring, and now it looks stupid without it. Ohhh well...Gord says ...just be glad still have me, I lasted longer than the damn ring!! How romantic. bastard...heh... just wait, I will whine long enough and I will get a replacement..but this time I would like a handmade wide gold band. When I got engaged in the Olden Days...white gold was the if I had to chose I would like real gold ... forget the diamonds..not my style anyway and I would like it to be really expensive. A girl needs at least one piece of jewellery to call her own.

It's not really his fault I don't have jewellery, because I just don't like shit hanging from my arms, ears and neck. My skin is sensitive and everything makes me itchy.

On another note: Did you hear about the guy the beheaded another guy on a bus? Yes, this happened only 50 miles from where I live. I heard it on the news and it makes me sick to my is so unreal. I am sure some mental heath facility let this guy go because they didn't have time for him and put him on a bus to another city. It happens all the time. I feel so sorry for the people who had to witness something like this, plus the family of the innocent person who was killed.

What the hell is going on?

I sure am glad Special K didn't take the Bus to Winnipeg...she could have been on it...oy..

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hey..The Kat is coming to the Peg (Winnipeg)

I get to meet another blogger this summer...

You remember her...


I think we should meet downtown and beat the shit out of some gangsters. Hey she's got the bat to do it with, don't kid yourself. She is going to kill me dead for posting that bogus pic...but what the hell, all she can do it tell me to ummm.."F" off and that wouldn't be the first time....and probably not the last.

More on this tomorrow.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

We have a new "evil lawnmower"

Lets call this bastard Troy. You will see the reason later. He is a pretty boy, a little to pretty for my liking. He has got all the bells and whistles and he knows it. He sat in the garage ...looking at me...very aloof...for about a week. So, on Thursday I decided to take Troy Boy out for a spin.

We had mowed the grass on the front yard last week, but Gord did it with the old tractor mower and it didn't pick up the old grass, and it looked like a cow pasture. So, when I took Troy for a spin, (who has a lot of power) It sucked in the hay left from the previous mowing, and covered me from head to toe, with mulched up dead grass. My face, hair, arms, and legs were a mass of dust and dirt. It all came right through the bagger. I knew then, he was not a team player. This was going to be a power struggle, the same I had for years with "Jake the Snake". But this afternoon it was time to mow the back 40 and I wasn't looking forward to getting shit on again. I reasoned that he probably had some "bagging" issues and didn't really mean to let all the dust and crap fly right into my eyes, hair and permanently embed themselves into my body parts. So, I went into the garage, and had a few words with him....he seemed quite docile and even his training wheels as you see in the picture weren't flipping me off.

You see the best part I liked about Troy when Gord bought him was his electonic more pulling the sockets out of my arms!!

It's really hard to type, while my dog is trying to get into my air balloons are flying over the yard and this is making her k..razy.

Okay, meanwhile back on the ranch...I took Troy Boy out of the garage and into the back 40. Did you see his funny training wheels...heh...actually they are supposed to make it easier mowing around trees, and by golly, we have a lot of them.

He didn't do to bad, and didn't kick up as much dust as the last time, but man I was sore after mowing. It's a big lawnmower and you got to get used to those front wheels when using it. Normally when you make a turn you lift up on the mower, but now I don't have to do that I keep on forgetting to let off the gas and let it do it's job and I made it pretty difficult for myself before we could bond. He kept on getting away on me. Good thing nobody was looking.

So, Troy could be keeper. I will give him another chance.

The raspberries are coming in faster than I can pick them. I gave a bunch to my SIL yesterday and today we have this to eat. I will freeze some and I might make some jam. I don't know why I wrote that, I never make jam...I think I was trying to impress you... I am a liar!

I wanted to show some pic's of the roses in the front our building and I finally downloaded them off the camera...

Tonight we are having BQ mesquite chicken breasts, fresh corn on the cob, and home fries... I can't wait.

It is so beautiful outside right now, it's hard to describe. The pond is trickling, the weather is cool yet not cold, the skies are clear, about 4 squirrel's are having a dispute about their territory. They are just flying right over me from tree to tree, I hope they don't land on my umbrella on the deck!

Don't have much else.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I have a crush on Penny's Vet

Today was the clipping of the nails day. She won't let me near them, so I have to take her in. Normally I will just go to the groomers (which is cheaper) but Penny has a problem with her leg and I wanted to ensure the utmost of care was taken. Plus I needed more information about her problem..

Enter... a new vet I had never met before. Let's call him ummm ..."NewHotVet!!" for now we will refer to him NHV. What I liked about him immediatley, was he didn't take any shit from me. Usually, I come in with an attitude...this is my dog and I call the shots. I told him, I was just there to get her nails clipped..... BUT in reality I had to make sure everyone in the entire building KNEW, not to twist her back right leg and that is why she wasn't going to the groomers...who have more than once dropped her off the table. I am a control freak.

He sat down and started to read her chart, and asked me a bunch of questions.

NHV: I see from her chart that she has been on Metacam since the beginning of April.

Joan: Trying to avoid his piercing blue eyes, and his very well groomed beard...heard myself say.. uhh yes...( I had a whole big ole speech prepared if they were going to ask me that).

NHV: She needs to loose weight...not much, but it would be better for her. I said, yes I had noticed lately that she looked heavier. He asked me about her diet, I lied about most of it...Then he looked at her chart and said ... in April she was x kgs. and now she x kgs. lighter.? Why do you think she looks heavier. I explained probably because I have to carry her up and down the stairs some days.... gawww, well, you caught me doc... I needed to come clean. Yes, she eats shit from the table if I give it to her, and sometimes she has popcorn. It's all my fault. And how she lost a little bit of weight .. I don't know. Stop with the questions already... I had no more lies left. His cold blue eyes saw right through my soul.

To make this story a little shorter, he took control, and without intimidating me he gave me all the facts of where we were going to go with this. The vet I originally had that diagnoised Penny, left me empty, and waivered with the diagnosis which gave me some concern

Now with NHV... I will be happy to tell him all of my concerns, even if Penny is doing okay. Not only because he was "hot" but he seriously tried to get to the bottom of it. He put her on a new schedule and gave me advise on how to manage the disease. He even offered to try to get her medication (which is expensive) in human form and I could get it from a pharmacy, which would be much cheaper than getting it from the vet hospital. I wonder if I can have Penny added to my Blue Cross at work? Shit, I would hardly have to pay a cent. All I would have to do is add her as a member of our family on my Blue Cross forms.

Name: Penny Martin

Gender: Female

Date of Birth: 1999

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Auburn

Tail: Long


She is very quite tonite, it was too much for her and she is getting a little shut eye. My poor Penny Loafer.

Oops she woke up, and had a little plate of peas, carrots, beans and corn. I won't tell the vet, but she just loves her veggies. How could that be wrong. Also, this medley looks very interesting in the morning when she goes for a dump. And I'm all about a having a some colour in my landscaping.

On another note check this out. Gimli Manitoba is a small Icelandic community on the shores of Lake Winnipeg about 40 miles from Winnipeg. 25 years ago...and I remember this so clearly, a pilot ran out of fuel over Thunder Bay Ontario...destination Edmonton Alberta and GLIDED his jumbo jet from Thunder Bay Ontario to Gimil Manitoba to an old airstrip that was being used for racing and landed it there without any injuries. Imagine gliding a huge aircraft like that!! I don't know how far it was from Thunder Bay to Gimli, but I know it was far.

Today they had a reunion with all the crew and the people of Gimli, where he landed it without a tragedy. There were kids on the airstrip racing bikes and the pilot could see them and tried to miss them, and he did and the two kids that he missed were there this afternoon at the reunion. I still find it amazing, and from the news reports tonight on our local TV network, the people in Gimli gave them and huge celebration today.

I remember the reason that this happened was just when we changed to the metric system, somebody screwed up when the pilot was refueling and the plane didn't have enough fuel to get to its destination.

I always like a happy ending...don't you?

Raspberries for sale or rent, rooms to rent 50 cents...HEY, I got a shit load of raspberries happening, the only thing that is holding me from picking them is the mosquitoes... and now the rain. They are late this year because it has been blessedly cool. Is blessedly a word? whatever....I have lots and lots of them. Usually the birds get them first, the momma birds just love teaching the youngins to hide in the bushes and eat them, but the nests are empty and they are on to bigger and better things and they are all mine.

I made a Banana bread tonight. I haven't made it in years. It has just cooled off enough right now to eat it. It is good! I had three bananas that were going to meet their maker unless I did something with them...and I did.. I used to make it with chopped walnuts, but I didn't have any, but that will be for the next time, because I will make this again now that I tasted this. Okay, I have had three slices..I thank the guy who posted the recipe on the internet somewhere. Every sweet I bake goes INTO the pooper,(except pies) but this one worked.

Okay, going to spell check this sucker....and eat the rest of the cake. I'm going to save some for Gord tomorrow and my boss, who's wife always sends in homemade cakes, and boss laughs at me when I bring in stuff from the store. I'll show those sinners.

Friday, July 18, 2008

It is the most beautiful Friday night

I'm sitting outside on the deck overlooking my garden and back 40. With all this rain we have had this year everything looks lush. I can hear the pond trickling ...hear a few mosquitoes buzzing...but not too many. Not a breath of wind. Which is unusual, because the wind makes me crazy. Birds a chirping...and thankfully the crows have found their summer homes ... far away from my little paradise. But, I do have a little bug who is having a good time following me as I type.

Time out: I didn't kill him, I just showed him the door...and I hope it hit his ass on the way out. But he was kinda cute following me around.

I had a very boring day at work. Our busy season doesn't start till fall and the office was dead. All the guys are on holidays, boss is off golfing...and me in the shop by myself. Why do you think I change my templates so often...because I am bored, plus I like doing it..okay??

So I took my camera into work at lunch and decided to let you into my world. And such a small world it is!
Apparently I am not at my desk....where could I be..

I'm not here either...I think I went AWOL...because the phones never rang once this afternoon.

That little bug is back...he likes following my cursor..heh... I move it around and he is right behind it. Who need the high tech crap I got the real stuff.

Anyway back to the office.

I checked to see if I could find myself in the little kitchen/file, I wasn't there.

I went into the warehouse, where scarey stuff is kept....and I couldn't find myself, I was starting to get bored.

So I found the same place a the shitter...I don't know why I didn't look there first.

Later in the afternoon...after being on the internet for two hours trying to find a new template...again..heh...I decided to go outdoors...and show you our building (I work here), but the building is ours with tenants renting the spaces. I am very proud of it. Gord has done a good job. He has an office/warehouse in the same building and this is what he has on his door.

What a kidder..old fart crap is that...but he likes it.

Now just of few pics of the roses and shit in front....

So, thats all she wrote folks....have a good weekend.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I really don't know what the hell I was complaining about

It looks damn fine in here. I have mental days. Don't tell anyone. But I am sure you have noticed. Especially after I bought a pair of orange lacy shoes. Who does that? I guess I just felt the orange coming on. Orange you glad I didn't post a pic of them..... yeah, that was me, trying to be funny. I hope you didn't fall off your chair laughing. I think I need a drink....I'm going no where tonight.

Good sup's tonite:
Homemade oven fries
Denver Sandwich...ham, egg, onion, and green pepper..forgot to buy mushrooms..shit.
Baked halved tomatoes ..with mozz and parm...and a little basil sprinkled on them.

Apparently it is the rainy season here in July. God changed his mind, instead of giving it to the West Coast where it belongs, he decided that Manitoba, the heart of the continent needs to be wetter than a wee babies diaper.

You know the halved tomatoes with mozz and parm on them we were having for supper?.... the cheese was okay, but, biting into a hot piece of wiggly, mushy tomato was not my idea of a good time. I hold "Simply Recipes" responsible for this fiasco. The only thing I did differently was .. I didn't add whole leaves of carefully folded basil on them. And it tasted like shit anyway. I don't know about youse guys, but I don't like basil very much... just a teeney weenie pinch...and I'm good. I know a lot of people love it with veggies etc....but it makes me gag. On the other hand I could put Oregeno on ice cream... I like it so much. So, I guess it just a matter of taste.

It's Strawberry Picking time again.

I'm popping a few of them in my mouth right now, to take away the taste of those tomatoes and ugggggggly basil. They are sooooo sweet and so soft. They almost melt in your mouth. I bought them at our local Market Garden. I'd go go out a pick them, in the "U Pic Fields" but I'm too lazy. The last time I did that...about 6 years ago, I got overheated and almost passed out. And puked for a few hours. It's a good thing I'm not a farmer, a farmer would not have worn a black hoodie with a tee shirt underneath that, along with black sweat pants and socks to pick berries. But that was the year those MF'N yellow jackets were out, and kept on stinging me. My feet and hands were so swollen I could hardly move, so I thought I would play it safe....and overdress and fall on my face. Story of my life man. I can't ever seem to get it right. No matter how old you get, there is always something you don't know, even if you have google.

Blogger says no spell checker for me tonight...sorry.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

okay...if I have to park my ass in here for awhile

I might as well make it look a little "lived in."

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The wedding.. my cousins daugher got married.

Okay, granted that I am old fart, some of this didn't make sense to me. Maybe the youngsters who read my blog...ahhahhaaaa like that happens, would say..hey grandma...whatinthehellisyourproblem? And to them I would say, stick your head up your ass, and put a picture of it on facebook.

This was supposed to be wedding/social. Now, I know most of you don't know what a "Social" is...I will explain. In Manitoba (Canada) I'm not speaking for the other Provinces...we have Socials for the bride and groom before the wedding. Their friends put it on, and everyone buys tickets to go to it. It is a sort of fund raiser for the new couple. Cash Bar, tickets are sold for prizes that are donated by the community etc. With very loud music. A big ole party is what it is. But that that is what we do here, and I'm okay with that. We had one given to us when we got married and so did everyone else I know. It's a tradition. But totally apart from your wedding, and your reception.

The wedding was, in this case, in the same hall they rented for the social. No church. That's okay. But this was a hotel/bar with rooms to rent for special occasions. Are you still with me on this! It was a "all in one deal." Wedding/Social. You don't get to have supper. The wedding was to supposed to start a 5:00 PM.

As we sitting on some really hard chairs..cheek to cheek...the MC informed us at 5:15that the bride was going to be about 30 minutes late. Fudge. Now what were we supposed to do? We kicked back our too closely seated chairs and started to mingle. I started schmoozing with the cousins, plus going out for a well deserved smoke break. The wedding was now in a holding pattern. So, I will tell you what happened before we even got in the the hotel.

Follow me............ to laaaaa la land

We were early, and there was a horrible wind and thunderstorm happening. So we found a parking spot behind the hotel, we were waiting for my bro and family to show up so could all go in together. We only waited about 5 minutes and my niece Lisa pulled up with her mom because they had already let dad (my bro) off at the front door. Apparently they don't have handicapped parking. Okay.. We had hurricane winds and rain and were trying to find a way into this building from the back of it. As we were filling our boots, sandals, or high fricken heels .. I'm looking at you Lisa Loo.. we managed to find the back door of the hotel instead of going all the way around to the front. Now that I think of it the sign on the door said "Cheaters"..or something like that. I didn't really give it a thought. We were getting soaked. Just as we were about to make a run for it...we asked a few guys that were going that way, if we could get into main part of the building from there.

These two good ole boys said.."sure" but you will have to close your eyes. We were already soaked and didn't give them much mind. So the four of us ran into this dark building..and then we all stopped our tracks.. the two guys who we met tried to butt ahead of us...and said ..we warned you... and we let them go in first because we had no idea where we were. was a stripper bar...and it was stripper time. Once our eyes adjusted to the bar which was pretty dark, we saw a huge nakid butt rolling around in roped off area that looked like a boxing ring.. Then we saw more than butt..we saw it all..Hey, I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but this caught me off guard. My niece Lisa was just going.."lets get out of here"...We were all standing there with our mouths open, trying not to look, but we did. It was so dark in there we couldn't figure a way around THIS WOMAN..without blocking the view of 20 horny men. Gord on the other hand was in no hurry. Ahem. I finally found a way around THIS WOMAN that would not incur the wrath of aforementioned horny men. We had to go back several times to get Gordon and show him the WAY. Bastard.

Once we found the room we were supposed to go to ... it didn't get much better as I mentioned above.

So we waited and waited, until 6:00 PM and finally the wedding party showed up to get married. The DJ started the music, and because this was such a small wedding I assumed their would only be one attendant for each of them. Nope, I think I counted six bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen or whatthehellevertheyarecalled. No wonder they were late, those bad ass groomsmen, were probably in the stripper bar. I don't know. It was more than unusual. They were married by a Justice of the Peace.. and the vows included her daughter from a previous relationship ... and how the new guy would love her...and they presented her with a ring .. binding that relationship. That was really sweet. It was. Then when they repeated their vows, it was more about...I promise to take you umm.. Hubby.. for better or worse and to take you to the ER every time you fall off your dirt bike...etc. I know, you think it's cleaver when you are twenty something, but it sounds soo so dumb when you are 60 and listening to this stuff. I think I have become a jaded old fart. But its fun laughing at stuff I probably would have done given half the chance.

I should have never been seated beside my bro at the ceremony. We have no shame. When we saw the groom (who we had never seen before)....we were taken by surprise. Here was this geeky looking guy who didn't look a day over 20. And his hair...oh my how we laughed. It was one of those sweep up things on both sides ...and he sort of looked like a cone head. My niece who was beside us had to nudge me in the ribs, because we were laughing so hard. When Garry gets me going...or I get him going... it has no end. He was crying, he was laughing so hard. It wasn't really funny, as in ha ha, but it was this mental picture we both conjured up that broke us up. For some reason we thought this guy was going to look much different. After all he rode dirt bikes. Garry wouldn't stop laughing, and we kept on whispering shit to each other and he would start laughing some more...finally we regained our shit...and did those sort of silent laughing "snorts"... and tried to cover them up with a cough. We should never be together in a room with serious shit happening. I hope no one else other than my family noticed. I could.not.stop.laughing.

We didn't stay for the social. Loud music, no food (unless you went out for supper after the wedding.) And then come back to the hall for the social. Call me old fashioned .. but I am just not interested. Garry had to go home because he still isn't up to par, and without him by my side I really didn't care about the rest of the relatives....we already had our good times. Strippers and mocking the groom.

So, Gord and I got back in the truck and started for home, in hurricane conditions...that wind damn near blew us off the road. I have never seen winds like that before. On Sunday we had to clean up the whole back 40. It was a mess.

So, I don't really have any pictures, because it was so weird.... I should have taken one of that stripper...I bet my viewer stats would have gone crazy. I'm looking at you Curtis...heh..I think you are my only guy reader. And just in case you are interested, the strippers in the Kildonen Hotel start at 5:00 PM on Saturdays... heh. And the one I saw..had a really big bum.

The end.

Just a note ...I know nobody give a hairy rats ass...but this template is an old one, and is temporary, and don't give me any grief if I change it. I don't want to hear one word. Got it! Lets just call it a transition to a better place. Or places if the next one doesn't work out. Not a peep.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Shopping on a budget after work

I bought a pair of orange lacey flat shoes for $4.00 bucks today, plus a pair of peacock blue track pants that say " Athletic" in bold white lettering down the side of the right leg for 3.95. I am wearing the lacey flat orange shoes with a pair of black socks underneath, and I just put on the peacock blue track pants. I can hear the fashion police coming my way.Opp's I forgot to tell you I am wearing a huge black sweatshirt with the crest of the our Winnipeg Moose hockey team emblassened on it. Did you just loose your appetite? It's Friday man, and all fashion sense goes out the door. My orange shoes sort of look like clown shoes. I may have to rethink wearing them in public places....just in case kid's start coming on to me.

Have a good weekend. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow. Look forward to seeing "some" of my relatives...but especially my bro, I haven't seen him since his birthday in May. I really need to kick his ass, because he has gained so much weight, and he has diabetes, heart problems and the whole shebang. How do you spell shebang...or did I just make that up? So, I will be giving him the evil eye. And shake my finger at him, as my Mom tells me to do in my dreams. I am only the messenger, but I think he will tell me where to go. Then, I have to dream up my "mother" up again, and tell her, and then she will tell me to phone him and tell him .. to start eating right... Oy, it's hard being me.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Okay I will let those birds fly..for now!! lets back to gel bra's

I remember way back when I lived at home and was a widdle kid, and my mom alway's wore "falsies" as they were called then. I tried to find a picture of them on the internet, but apparently the internet is a little too young and has no record of a round piece of foam, with a faux nipple in the middle, that you shove in your bra.

Somedays she wouldn't wear them, and then they became fun to play with when we found them in her bedroom, unless we got caught shoving them down our shirts and walking around town with tits. Especially my brother HAAAA! Same goes with the "balloon's" we found under their pillows...ahem. Holy shit, I can remember blowing them up in the back yard with the neighbour kids....and getting my ass kicked! Who knew rubbers weren't balloons?

We were country kids, we knew shit. They thought they had time to tell us about the birds and bees after I would get pregnant or bro got someone else pregnant. No rush. Why stress us out? Half the job was done if that happened. Fortunately it never came to that, because by the time I was 15 I had pretty well figured out if a boy kissed you and felt you would get pregnant. I had to be true, because I read it in TRUE STORY... a very reliable magazine, where all the stories started up with the kissing and then she got pregnant. And nobody loved her anymore because it was so wrong. Even if Troy the boy you loved so much wanted to share the baby with you, he was not allowed, because his family wanted him to go to college...heh..yeah... Is it so different today? It might be, but somethings still stay the same.

My neigbour lady just came over to chat....oy she can talk a blue streak... I hit her on the head with my friendly neighbourhood shutup I'm back.

Okay, I have lost my train of thought. Gel bra's...oh yeah now I remember. Personally I would have liked a full gel bra insert, but when I finally found a store that sold them they only had the half moon things to put on the bottom of your bra to shove your girls up a bit. They are kind of jiggly and a little cold at first but they warm up. But, I found they did not increase the size of my chest. I need something ON TOP of my 5 pounds of kleenex. These little wiggly wafers were never going to do the job I wanted them to do. I wanted a cleavage or something close to that. I know. At 62 years of age you want a cleavage, like who the hell is going to look at your boobs? Suddenly this became important to me. Probably because they aren't as old looking as my face ..heh..or I just want to be an old slut. Anywho, I have pretty well got over it. To be honest, I wanted them to look bigger so my waist looked smaller. Do we ever get over our bodies..? If I wouldn't have lost the weight I would never even thought of it....but now..I want to be a movie star? feck. I'm giving my head a shake.

These look more like chicken breasts than gel bra implants...I might just fry them critters up.

Gotta few more pics of the garden...shut-up!! I know you are tired of it all, but that's all I got.

Last but not least, my BIL Ron turns 65 today...Happy Birthday Ron. Gord took Ron and another friend out to the racetrack today to celebrate his B.Day. OLD FARTS ALL OF THEM. I am so much younger...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Just dinking around

Don't get excited. I am trying to get my header big enough to cover the old one on this new template. And I have to admit it's pissing me off, but what else is new. Brenda? any suggestions? Two grouped side by side? or editing the HTML to get rid of the original. What think you? With this new format I'm scared of the html...I liked it the old way, but that is what old farts always say. But this old way was only a year ago, for shit's sake, how can we keep up at our (my age)? Those bastard new inventors. Give us ole folks more than a years warning before you spring shit on us. No wonder we all have heart problems and pee our pants in inappropriate times.

I put 6 more solar lights in the garden that I found in our shed tonite. I think that makes 18 all together. Do you think it might be a little overkill? Nah....

When I finished putting the last of the old lights in tonite, I was tripping all over the buggers. I am all about over kill. If 10 work...why not 5,678 of them, fortheloveofmike...what the hell is wrong with me? I can't quit changing my templates, I can't stop putting lights in my garden, .. there must be some solution for this complusive behaviour.

Does anyone have a solution. Come on...I can take it. Bring it on. Unless you say I'm a dickhead..but you might be close to right.

Monday, July 07, 2008

I gotta get this place spiffed up a bit

I have been neglecting this blog and also my food blog. When summer comes there doesn't seem to be anytime for anything else than yard work. I'm hoping to take two weeks of holidays in August and regroup. At least by then everything should be in place, but by that time it will be fall and I will have to be starting to rake the leaves. What the hell?

We had rain all day today, and I loved it. A nice gentle rain. I can actually see the garden grow from yesterday. All the trees seem so much fuller and the flowers are so vibrant. We had some rain before, but not much...not the kind that makes stuff grow, it was just your typical spring torrential downpours. This will put some piss and vinegar back into the soil.

I have a wedding to go to on Saturday, so I will have to go out and try to find something to wear. I looked around a bit on Saturday, but couldn't find anything that had sleeves. All they had were sundresses, for the very young...who don't have flabby underarm stuff. I loved the dresses, but didn't like the way I looked in them. I've noticed they don't make dresses with a hoodie, so I am shit out of luck. I have a hoodie fetish. But I found a really nice top...with a hoodie, it is an empress style with ties that go under your boobs. I know that probably makes no sense, and it was really low I was thinking of wearing a white tube top underneath, and try to match it to one of my favorite pair of PJ bottoms.. I'm all about fashion..heh. Comfort is what it is all about. God I hate getting dressed up. It makes me itchy just thinking about it. But, I guess I will try, and then spend a pile of money and never wear it again. I might drop into Value Village tomorrow, if I find something there, at least I won't feel guilty if I never wear it again.

I'm thinking...something that says the "80's"...with big shoulder pads.

Not a bad idea, if the party after the wedding gets rowdy, I could body check someone in the parking lot. I gots the pads man.

I'm thinking about getting gel hip pads. God forgot to give me hips, and I am so mad at him. All my low rise jeans, fall down. I don't even have to unzip when I go to the bathroom, I just pull them down. I'm lucky they don't fall off when I'm shopping! Don't tell me to buy them in a smaller size because then they are too ummm binding... and I don't like stuff tight. I spend 99 percent of my day hiking those bastards up. So, now I am wearing my old MOM jeans that have an elastic waistband. Sure, it's nice to loose the weight, but there is a price to pay, COMFORT. It was bad enough when I bought my gel bra...aaahaaaa I forgot to tell you that story...nevermind I will leave that for another day...I gotta get to bed.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Sunday night supper and laundry.

Holy Moly, it's been so long. I have been one busy lizzie (Borden)... no I have not killed anyone with an axe..(yet).

I marinated a roast with mesquite and it smells heavenly. But, to be honest most of my food smells much better than it tastes. I am making home fries, mushroom gravy and steamed broccoli and carrots. Sounds good doesn't it. Wait till we eat it..heh.

We have a rose garden in front of my office, and they are blooming thier faces off, here is what I picked on Friday.

I still don't have my new BQ..the Webber Q200 operational, because my husband has a bee in his bonnet.....and one day I will put a bee in his bonnet with a bee bee gun! For heavens sake, every time I buy something, he has to analize it to death, try to get a better price, and just piss me off. We put it together on Friday, but so far we haven't used it because of his aformentioned mental problems. He phoned me twice this afternoon from Home Depot wanting the specs on it. Fuck it, and I mean that in the most gentle way.... it's a fuck in I give in. Just do what you have to do, but please get it done by winter. I have no patience for shopping, buy it, use it, and throw it out when it breaks. Done.

I was going to cook the roast beef out there, but "meathead" was still trying to get a buck off the price I paid for it. I really wanted some beef, but even some BQ hedgehog would have done the trick.

I rode the garden tractor on Thursday. If you remember we sold our lawnmowers, and this was fun! I only took out two fences. I'm not fond of the braking system on this ole thing. Way too heavy for me. And every time I stopped it, I forgot to put the blade back down, and later when I started it up I was just "going for a ride". The neighbours were all looking over the fences and laughing at me. They still have the push mowers, so I don't know why it was so funny, I could ride and have a cocktail at the same time! Until I spilled my drink when I hit the fence. They should make drink holders in these things.

We have born about 7,890 birds in our backyard this summer, and today I almost lost my shit. The yelling and screeching almost made me pull out my bee bee gun I have on hand, but I want to save those pellets for Gord. Some days you don't know who to knock off first.

My Penny Loafer is still limping along. Not half the girl she used to be, but I am hoping that once the glucoasamine kicks in she will feel better. She wants to play with me so deperately in the back yard, but I can't comprimse her leg. We will play it by ear, instead of real play time. She always has had her favorite ball, which by now looks like a piece of road kill. Last week I bought a little ball at the dollar store for a buck, that looked like a baby toy. It was very soft and had a balloon inside to keep it round. Penny just loved it, but it only took a few days for her to bite it and deflate it. I named it "wally bally".. she knows every name of every toy I have ever given her. So, every time I summoned her to get wally bally from her toy box, she came back somewhat dejected with this deflated piece of soft cloth. So, I thought...hey let's fill it up with something else. I had some bubble wrap. I opened the seams of the original ball, and stuffed it in. She absolutely loved it. She was popping the bubble wrap as fast as she could. So today, it was all popped out. Instead of opening it up again and resewing it, I put bubble wrap in one of Gord's old socks and tied it up... and she's been popping it ever since. Much easier and more fun.

I put up my solar lanterns in the garden today. My lord, they are beautiful. I just went out to look at them now that it is dark outside. They are a deep amber, and it makes everything look so peaceful in the garden. Our neighbours have the LED lights, but I find them harsh .. like a flourescent light.

I wish I could take a picture of them, it's beautiful.

While fighting a herd of mosquitoes in the early evening, I had to go out and refill my little pond because those bastard crows had tipped over the fountain again!! I have to find a way to tie it down to the bottom of the pond so they can't knock it over again, and all the water drains into the ground.

So while I was down there I thought I might take some pics of my garden, such as it is. You can tell, not much has been happening in my life, garden I'm getting old.

But first, I had to have a drink ... just to take the edge off ... It's the gardeners drink of choice...

Nothing like a little Miracle Grow, to get you off your ass and into your mosquitoe infested garden. I swear after I drank a bottle of that along with a little sprig of mint, and splash of rain water, I turned into a giant gardener. And for some reason I starting singing..Hi Ho Hi's off to work we go. And I turned into a midget. Don't drink that shit. You never know. Read the label. I can hardly reach my keyboard.....Help...

Anyway, I know you got stuff to do, so here are a few hundred pictures of my garden, feel free to X out anytime you what to.

If you click to embiggen the one of Penny...look at her tongue...haaaaa

That's all I got for tonite....

Thursday, July 03, 2008

I finally found my old buddies ...

I have searched high and low for these little crying pacman sissies. I always thought they suited my blog, but once blogger made us go to THE NEW BLOGGER, I had to give up the template. I don't know, but it just looks like me, a cry baby whiner....yet with a comic twist. It was just by luck I found the creator of the orginal template, and was able to download it today.

If you are a template junkie like I am, you will know what I mean. I keep searching for something special that says...I'ts Always Something!....and these little guys look pathetic enough to convey my messages. They have the..OY..look, like they just stepped in a pile of shit..or their husband just had a heart attack, or balonie was having a bad day....also they look like It could always be something, good or bad. Out of 9,675 templates I have tried, I have always missed this one. Now, I found the header, I can make it my own...for awhile I hope.

Now I am at peace...........quit laughing you assholes... I will be keeping it. :)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Canada Day thoughts.

We have laid "Canada Day" to rest for this year. Too many hyped up people dressed in red and white annoying the crap out of me. Yes, Canada I love you, but stop with the phoney balonie shit. Don't be trying to be all American. Those guys really love their country, but in a different way than we do. We just aren't the flag waving kinda people. We are more subdued, and don't feel the need to meet with all our neighbours and friends on July 1st. Our government is slowly trying to change that, and put up a huge show in Ottawa, our nations capitol. I watched some of it on TV yesterday...and saw reporters that I respected on a on going basis, turn into 'crack loving' Canada Day whores.

The whole camera crew were on crack..I swear.

The reporters were screaching like banchies.....interviewing little kids, who had their face painted...(let's get one thing straight...face painting is old, and STOP IT). These face painted kids were painting (again with the painting) huge concrete slabs with there Canada Day thoughts. Okay, it could have be chalk, I don't know, but ahhhhhh. I just deflated after that. Most of them scribbled Cnada. And tried to draw a flag. Then they were all interviewed, that was interesting... and each and every kid said his favorite part about Canada Day was the fireworks. So, okay. That is about 8 hours away...what are you going to be doing until then? Paint houses? Piss your pants...Run through lame sprinklers, fight with your brothers? Probably fall asleep way before they begin ... and cry all the way home.

I say, for the sake of all the children in the world, have the fireworks at 3:00 PM. They don't really care by this time... they are tired, full of sugar and snot, and give em a few loud bangs and call it a day. So what if they can't see them, kid's have imaginations. Not like us old folks. If you ask them, did you just see that big star? ... the kid will say...yesssssssss because it made a noise. Problem solved.

Go home and put the little rascals to bed. Then get a babysitter and watch them in peace.

I sort of got side tracked, didn't I.? I could be so full of shit...nevermind.

Even though we don't ooze patriotizm in Canada....we get really pissed, when people mention we prononce our words differently than the Americans do. WE DO NOT SAY ABOOT INSTEAD OF ABOUT. I don't know where that fairy tale ever came aboot, oop's I meant about. heh.. But I really don't know...I pronouce it A...Bout.. like a bout of boxing...not a fricking boot!

I'm so looking forward to all your July 4th. celebrations...with food, family and fireworks. It's a tradition, and it's yours...wave your flags, eat corn dogs, watermelon, steak, burgers and hot dogs... whatever floats yer boat. Keep the kiddo's up until 10:00 for fireworks, BUT...if you paint their faces ...I will find you.

Every kid in Canada seems to get their face painted on a daily basis, and I'm afraid for them when they grow up. If we ever go to war...who the hell will take us seriously?