Monday, January 20, 2014

Anyone want to Roomba?


I have been having fun with this little guy.  It's really more of a toy than anything useful.  He can be pretty bossy too.  Sometimes he just gets a mind of his own and goes all over hell's half acre.  You can set up little guards in places you don't want him to go to but I usually forget and find him trapped in my underwear in the laundry room!  He seems to be attracted to discarded underwear ... little perv!  It's so cute when his battery is starting to die, he turns around and makes his way back to the charging station ... turns his ass around and backs up into the charger .. it's hilarious.  Seriously people I must get a life.

Concerned friend:  Joan what did you do today?
Joan:  I played games on my computer for two hours, read my blogs, had lunch and then watched my vacuum cleaner try to clean my underwear.
Concerned friend:  Cool ... vacuum porn!


This is what's holding me back! I wish I could get out there but it's impossible.


Looks like a big ole pillow doesn't it?

Later all!!

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Did a little makeover in here today.

Happy New Year...out with the old and in with the new!  I plan to expand "The New House" link because so much has changed here after that was posted. But, just as I was doing that the power went off and killed it.  It is -40 effing degrees below here ....people... I almost shit my pants.  It happened at 6:00 PM ..and I was running around trying to find candles, batteries, flashlights and my portable radio ... and it came on again.  This went off and on 5 times...just as I was about to panic.... 5 times was the lucky charm..... I finally was able to put my casserole in the oven and not worry about heat. 

I understand how difficult it was for those people in Ontario with the ice storm now...mind you they don't have our temps...but when it's dark, cold, and you don't know where the heat will be coming from it is very scary.  We have a gas fireplace....and it was on...but once the power went off..soo did it....well what the fuck good is that?  I thought it would stay on?  I guess if Gord would have been home he could have relit it....?  I have no idea.  We are spoiled rotten ... aren't we? Our ancestors would be laughing in our faces. 

So ... with that out of the way...how in the heck is everyone?  I see most of you on facebook so I pretty well know what's shaking.  I spent a lot of the day reading my old blogs....or essays....good gravy I was long winded... and said nothing about a lot...lol.   Play time every night when I came home from work in those days.

I had to get used to some of the new stuff around blogger......but I'm not near as anal as I used to be about the appearance of my blog.   Words are the best... I no longer care about the rest.  Okay just a little...it was always a challenge and I liked that.  Taking a step back. 

See youse guys again soon :)

balonie

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Well I could see it...WTH ... just checking in...

As of late I have been a little rude on face book.  I have to apologize ..especially to Jude.  I find myself posting stuff only to post something. 

So instead of running through the list of friends every evening and hitting like... or trying to be funny .. which I am not most of the time I think it is time just to write.  I will use face book to be a tool to keep up with the my family and friends plus the occasional pic of my dog and the back 40.  OR the window cleaner LOL...But as of now I am pretty sick of myself. 

You can't just say what you are really thinking on face book....nor will I  ever do here, but this is safer.  Smaller, friendlier and I know my audience. You can read between the lines.  You have been with me for so many years. 

I have no big secrets to divulge just a need to talk. Two years of upheaval for our little family.  It's funny this morning while I was laying in bed ...for the first time I noticed I didn't hear all the new noises in the house I used to hear when we moved in.  It was safe.  Penny has adjusted really well too. Probably better than I have. 

This fall all the landscaping was done, so we have grass, retaining walls and my favourite ... a Evergreen Tree in the front yard.  It now feels like a home.. not a job site.  I will be decorating that little Christmas tree tomorrow.

Also I have two new little babies in the family.  I am so thrilled by them.  I wake up every morning and see my nieces posting their pics  on face book and seeing them grow.  I will share that  here for sure.  You will love them.

Hey I like this...no noise .. like face book....... no immediate response ... when you rush over to see who responded to the shit you wrote.

Just of few pic's of my boys... Bodhi

Rylan


Thursday, September 19, 2013

I figured it out

This morning....when I looked at the Calendar ..... my Mom's passing was today.   I always dread September....but for some reason this year I forgot.  I'm sure that does not make me a bad person...but I did.  She passed September 19th. same day as her mother... scary.  Anyway my doom is lifting.

We cannot dwell on shit we cannot change......

So...what have you jerks been up to lately?  Come on ... tell me the truth! 

Life here has been so busy.....we still haven't got the landscaping done ... which should have been done by now.  But financially and otherwise it was put on hold until now.  We hope for next weekend to get it done. 

Penny Loafer is a new girl.  Her Lipoma grew so fast last December until this last month ...we had to do something about it.  Vet's always say if it's not impeding their lives...don't worry about it. Well it was...so we did...and now we have a happy "small" looking dog back in our lives ...who still plays and runs just like before...just a whole lot faster without that 5 lb. tumor on her shoulder. 

Thanks for your thoughts....I will try to post more often.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Little lonely little too much in my head

Wow it's been a long time sitting here trying to figure out what to write in such a big space.  How did I do that before I turned into a turtle?  I stuck my head back into my shell and hoped it would all go away.  And the stupid part is.....there is nothing wrong.  Just this feeling of doom.  It follows me around day and night and I think of the most stupid stuff.  I can't even enjoy my life.  I thought if I would confess this tonight it might make me take control of my life again.  Get off my ass and be the person I used to be.  I really want that energy and control again.

Balonie.... xxx taking one step forward.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

No mo talk about peanut butter cookies

I was getting a little tired of looking at that as well. 

Humidity is HIGH..... weather is coming.  Robins are singing like there is no tomorrow so we know rain is just around the corner.

So other than what I have posted on facebook... that's the whole shebang..lol.  

Well at least this will take the cookies off..

I could post about all my worries....and sorrows....but you know ...been there ... done that on here.  Along with very happy times.  Sometimes my blog comes in really handy to see exactly what happened in a certain year and how I was feeling.  Like a diary. 

But I no longer feel that need.  I also felt that whatever I wrote should be funny. Yes, I am still funny but I don't need the approval I once thought I did.  I could not wait for you guys to laugh at what I wrote.  I lived for it.  I wrote long into the night ...with pics....now guess how long that took me when blogger was just a kidlet? 

Some of the times were rough when Gord has his event.....and my blogger friends were with me all the way and it was so much appreciated.  People who didn't even know me sent me prayers. 

In my blogger life I have only met three bloggers ... all who have died. Kat, Ellen and Curtis. I got a little bummed after Kat died.  One of Kat's friend Terry would love to meet me...and I her.  But I told her I didn't want to kill her .... because it really feels like I could do that.  I know it sounds stupid....but Terry is very superstitious and told me we cannot meet.  I'm good with that. I don't want to hex her. 

If you think I am a very outgoing person...you would be wrong.  I'm at my best behind my keyboard typing my thoughts on Face book or Blogger.  I am very much a homebody. 

Now....see what happens when you got me talking..... I go on and on. LOL

There is not point to this blog entry......just jammering....on and on. 









Monday, March 11, 2013

I need a good peanut butter cookie recipe

My store stopped making them.  So naturally this must be a sign I will have to make my own.  It pains me to no end.

My peanut butter cookie must be crispy ... contain NO chocolate chips... and have some chunky peanuts in it.  And have a sweet salty taste. I guess I'm a whacko.... but I really dislike chocolate chips .. in my cookies.  Same goes for another fav Oatmeal cookies...they gotta be crispy and tasty...don't you go and put raisins in them or I will make your life miserable. 

Lord knows there are 5,789 trillion recipes on the internet but just for a change...just for once...good effin grief.... show me a recipe where I have all the ingredients in the house.  If I have go out and buy it ... the thrill is gone.  I'm kinda of a spur of the moment kinda gal ... so if you have a recipe that calls for chunky peanut butter, flour, baking soda or powder, butter, sugar or canola oil I got that stuff.

And yeah I like Macaroons.....I could marry them.

Don't get me started on shortbread cookies with little caramel chips in them.

Funny thing is... I never ate cookies ..ever. Until this year.  I must have one or two after supper.  It's the law.  Now I'm getting picky.  

My mom never made cookies as I remember. But she made the best sheet apple pie ever. I think the recipe is in  Mennonite Girls can cook

My husband is calling....we are putting up shelving in the basement for all the junk (important stuff) that is still sitting in the garage.  It's always nice to have your junk....neat looking.  BTW I just found three items I have been looking for forever....yes they are kinda junky....but man it was good to see them again.

Balonie...yours until IDK!


Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Time.....

I just figured out I might only have about 10 years of my life left.  I'm 67.  That means I have about 10 more Christmases to live.   Maybe.

You know.... I never gave this shit a thought. 

Until the new babies who are now born and expecting in my family .  I will never see them grow up.  Will they ever remember me? 

I can't believe there will be a world without me watching it.  How can that happen?...because I thought the world happened when I came into it.

I'm still shocked at my revelation.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Valentines Day effd up

Before my valentine came home on Wednesday I decided to make him a card on my computer inviting him to lunch the next day. Valentines Day at 12:30.  After he went to bed I snuck in his truck and left it on his seat.

Next morning rolled around ... and he got all showered and dressed and went into the garage .. and I was still in bed....waiting... he roared back into the bedroom....OMG ... I thought he was so excited with prospect of having lunch with me......but...he had left his cell phone on the charger...god forbid.

As he left he bade me Happy Valentines day because he saw the envelope on the seat of the truck.... I bade him as well.  I thought he had read the card. He never did until I called him around 10:30 and called him just of make sure we had a date:

Joan:
Hi... I just realized that the restaurant I picked for lunch today was part of a huge Media thing for the Health Science Centre and we will never get a seat.

Gord:
ahem.....clearing his throat and thinking of how to respond....because he did not read the fucking card. And said WHAT? 


Joan:  I told you in the card where we would meet for lunch.

Gord:  Yessssss I have it right here, but I was too busy to read it just yet.

Joan:  Then I guess I would have been sitting in the parking lot waiting for you...until when?  When hell freezes over?

Gord:  Well ... it's good thing you called so we don't have to sit and wait for lunch.

Joan:  Well it's a good thing you aren't here right now...because ...I would have kicked you ass!

So that my friends is how we communicate... like animals. 

That evening he brought in the sad looking envelope and card which looked like it had tire tracks over it.. And wished me a happy Valentines day.

Haaa ... It's all good. 




Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Getting new glasses and eye check on Thursday

I had a very bad experience the last time I had my eyes checked... I have been going to this old fart in the strip mall for 20 years.  He doesn't even have a computer.  He has a mensch who is about 980 years old who rules the front desk.  He has a calculator when he bills you.  There frame selection seems to be up to date.... but not so for the rest of it.  The last time I was in there...let's say 6 years ago or so... I had an eye exam before purchasing my present pair of glasses..   Just a note are glasses called a pair?  Or is it just because there are two lenses...just wondering?

Any who.... I had my eyes examined.  He told me that he had just got a new device where he did not have to drop some shit in my eyes to see if I had glaucoma ... instead he had a machine which he put in front of my eyes...and it clicked.  And it clicked...and it clicked some more.  He was looking concerned.  I was getting concerned .... because of all the clicking and shit.

Then he said... I don't want to alarm you but this new machine has been giving me a few problems since I bought it and I have sent a lot of patients to see a REAL EYE DOCTOR...to make sure everything is okay.  My thinking was....if you saw an increase in problems with glaucoma GET YOUR MACHINE FIXED.   I never did that.  It's been a long time and guess what... I can see!  I just need to get my eyes checked because I am vain.... I want new frames....and the print in the newspaper is getting so damn small.

I have progressive lenses so that ain't cheap.  Especially now that I don't have any benefits from work. But the place I went to ..gave me a 40 percent discount for the eye exam because I am a SENIOR CITIZEN (still makes me laugh)...and 50 % for the lenses because they had a sale going on.

Hopefully this new place will have a computer....and a competent optometrist. Eye will be seeing u soon...lol



Balonie....






Sunday, January 27, 2013

Don't know?

You caught me on a bad night.  I don't like living here.  Again.  It's dark and lonely.  The house is so well insulated that you can't even hear a car go by.  I can hear the garbage trucks because they are loud.  That is about it.  When we lived at the other house...the city was alive...and I could hear air planes...ambulances, fire trucks ... trains...cars...trucks ...everything.  I could hear the school buzzer buzzing accross the street when school started. None of it ever bothered me... I was so used to the noise.....and made me feel safe.  Not that I don't feel safe here...but I miss the NOISE. 

I met an old friend at the store yesterday and she asked me how I liked living where we are....and I told her it was like living in a vacumn..... nothing happens here....deer roam freely... so fucking what...you see one...you have seen them all.  Maybe once spring comes around and I can work outside this might change my mind.

Penny's lump...Lipoma has grown larger again.... it always seems to do that around December.  I am so stressed out about taking her to the vet.  If they have to do an operation it might kill her....because I have left it for so long hoping it would stop growing.  It was for a year or two...but now it's getting in her way of walking.  She still runs...but it's on her shoulder and had gone down to her right leg.

I cannot imagine living in this huge house without her.  She is my pal.  We read each others minds...Strange as that seems.  I have never felt more connected to anyone.  It will be a very sad day when we have to part ways.  Then I will have to make some hard core decisions on how I will decide to spent the rest of my life. Gord is never home....and is still doing  his thing....with the business....and his brother....all the time.... 

I thought retirement meant .... having a good time at the end of your life cycle... I guess it takes two to tango. 



Friday, January 18, 2013

Multi Tasking

I'm playing my pun game on facebook and blogging at the same time.  Yessss I like a little pressure in my life.  Just like going to work.

It's been a cold cold week here in Canuckville....so cold my dog had no more paws to put up while she ventured through the snow....she levittated to the door....it was a miracle! 

Don't have much to report or bullshit about.  Well I could bullshit for hours but how much of it would you believe?

I did however have an altercation with another driver on the road.  I saw him coming up like the speed of lightning in my rear view mirror and he was right on my bumper....looking right and left on how he could pass me.  He couldn't because other responsible drivers in the lanes beside me were going the speed limit.  He tried 3 times before he snuck in and almost caused and accident.  I honked my horn.....he gave me the finger....then I watched him go up the ramp on the perimeter with cop car on his tail......asshole... I just don't get it....the roads are like a skating rink and these fuckers want to die.   Good...just don't take me with you. 

BRB...gotta put another pun in facebook.

Phew ... let's see if anyone likes this one.  My friend Terry ...who I met through Kat years ago... seems to like this.  I will humour her for awhile.  I've been thinking about Kat the last month or so.  I miss that kid so much.  If Kat was still alive....she would totally take me out for the shit I do on the interweb.  She used to correct my English/spelling....drove me crazy to no end.....all in love.....and so much fun and we always knew where we stood.  I always wish I could have been at the bar in Calgary where all her friends said their goodbyes.

Okay ...back to punning hope she likes it...if not...what's she going to do?  ey?....

Monday, January 14, 2013

It's baby talk

I had a whole bunch a stuff to say today (that I did not write down) surprise....it's all gone.  In yee olden days of blogging I used to make mental notes all day of what I would talk about.  That ship has sailed. 

I'm still looking for my shoes....

But just to keep you all on track....I am a new grand auntie...to Rylan Taylor ... 9 foot baby....oops not 9 feet.... 9 pounds 4 ozs. This shit about pounds ounces and length gits me a little bumfuzzled.  Anyway I think he is cute.....but we can't see him because there is ban on visitors to the hospital because of the flu scare around here.  Lisa, Jordan and leeeetttle babooshka are doing well.  She had to stay in the hospital an extra day because that little arsehole ripped her apart.  Lisa now has a twin... heh... Anyway all is well. 

Just found out today my niece.. her sister Cheri....is having a BOY.... two boys!!  In our first try at having babies evar in our family .... it has to be all men.  Never cared for them much... I'll see if I can warm up to them.

Oh yeah....

A new generation..... It is so awesome.  It really is.  


Friday, January 11, 2013

Hope Floats

In the olden days before I was retired I never watched movies.  Now I can't stop.  I have watched this stupid movie 456,678 times .... and never get tired of watching little Bernice run after her dad crying her little heart out after her dad left.  I'm going to have to get over this. 

Colorado low is approaching  .... much snow is predicted.  I stocked up on groceries and wine.  Unfortunately I don't have enough of my home brew to see me through.  Christmas depleted my stock.  I hope it's not going to be a huge snow storm....just a blizzard I can deal with that.

Spent most of my day trying to figure out my new Android Galaxy phone.... you know the cheap IPhone knock off? Well I never had a "Smart" phone before so this is a new experience.  My old cell phone...only phoned.  It rang... I said hello...or I phoned and the other party said hello.  Shit like that.  Now I can type a message instead of talking....well my fingers are too big.  Nobody knows what I'm talking about ...
iH .. howd you r?  gottd a neW phooonE far xmus Jeast tRyig It ouut. Bye bYi.  Crazy.... it took me two days to enter my wifi password.

My mouse batteries just died on my computer..WHAT... I just bought it a year ago:).  I didn't have any on hand so I had to use the one's from my toothbrush.  So tomorrow I may have to brush my teeth with my mouse.  Might just as well use his tail instead of floss! Scratch that idea...I forgot .. it's cordless. ahhh technology....ain't it grand.

It was storming out there today ... so I just cuddled up to the computer and annoyed people on facebook.  Found PikMonkey which I had forgot about.....spent way to much time uploading pictures nobody cares about...but that is why I pay the big buck for the Internet...to amuse myself ...so fuck it. 

I met an older gentleman at Superstore the other day.  I would say he was around 75 or 80. He was handsome even in his older years....and he was obviously an immigrant to our country. He had a accent I couldn't define.  He was kind and generous to the clerks as he put his groceries on the belt.  So many are not.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  I almost felt I had known him from somewhere.  After his groceries went through ... mine were piling up on my side (because we bag them ourselves at Superstore) and there are two belts and he had already loaded his into his cart. ... he started to help me with mine.  What a nice man.  I found out he was from Italy and his family had moved here in the late 1970's.  We talked for a bit as we loaded up my cart and he knew what I had bought....and he looked at me...with his worn but beautiful brown eyes... and said that I should never buy Pasta Sauce at Superstore. Datza shit he said.  You makked you self.  Lordy....I know how to make it "youself."  But I get lazy sometime.  He said....your start in the morning....by supper it's good.  With that....he took his leave.  I thought he was going to hit on me for awhile....because you know those Italians...but no.... it was all about the pasta sauce.

I must be old..........80 year old men don't even hit on me.

Balonie...retiring to her chambers.







Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Okay suckers....I'm back!!

So, how have youse guys been doing the last two years?

I've been hanging around facebook just a little too much so I thought I would give blogger another crack.  Whore... I know.  Blogger is like an old boyfriend you dumped when you found someone new.  With my new boyfriend Facebook I didn't hardly even have to touch my keys to talk with him ... all I had to say was "I saw a squirrel."  And the people COMMENTED.  Yes they did ... they wanted to know all about him!  Gone were the days with boyfriend Blogger where I had to stay up to all hours of the night pouring out my guts. For what?  One comment?  I was easily swayed away because I'm all for not putting any effort into anything I do.  So yeah, I had a "short" chat with Facebook and I explained I'm all about cat pictures, three word sentences and all...but dammit I couldn't remember the alphabet anymore.  So I told him I would call him now and again when I didn't feel so wordy. 

The last couple of years have  been busy to say the least. 

I retired early: (I'm sure I have mentioned my displeasure on that here somewhere before) ... but now my displeasurement has evaporated).  I don't know what in the hell I was thinking.  What is so bad about doing sweet dick all?  Or doing whatever the hell you want. 

We moved:  (I'm sure I have mentioned my displeasure on that here somewhere before) ... but now my displeasurement has evaporated).  I don't know what the hell I was thinking.  What is so bad about moving into a brand new house with 3 bathrooms?  Or checking out the Bambi's in the forrest.

I turned 65:   (I'm sure I have mentioned my displeasure on that here somewhere before) ... but now my displeasurement has evaporated). I don't know what the hell I was thinking. What is so bad about collecting over a grand a month for doing sweet dick all?  Other than the fact gravity is no longer my friend because all my body parts are hanging an inch or two lower.

Cool beans... I actually remember how to copy and paste!  It's been a long time. 

A lot has changed in blogger ... I wonder if I can remember how to post a picture...let's see.


Yup ... just throwing a little Facebook crap atcha ... old habits die hard.
 
How's Balonie you ask: 
 
Well to tell the truth she has mellowed some.  Still drinks and swears too much but she has stopped jumping into my head when I least expect it.  I do on occasion have to don my welders cap to keep her out but for the most time I can keep her a bay.  Remember that god awful post I did with that welders cap on?  Good grief what an ass.  I deleted it.

I'm still having to deal with tradesmen every week or two coming in to fix or refix stuff. The painters were in today doing touch ups that needed tending to.  I sort of missed them.  Or missed looking at them.  heh.
 
I was just on my ex's web site...facebook...We are not done...we are on a short break lol. We have a family baby coming up and she is past due .. and all the family is guessing her due date and trying to win a prize..which is changing the kid's first diaper.  Well fart.... I'm guessing next year. 
 
I think when I posted last Lisa was pregnant....but so is Cheri her sister.....so the famdamily is growing. Those whippersnappers can't wait to see what gender is going to come out of the chute...they both are like kid's at Christmas and try to open the presents in July. We know Lisa's is a boy...and Cheri is chomping at the bit for her next ultrasound.  It's great...really...to have little one's again.  I might even hold one.  If they wiggle too much I pass em on.  How can you tell I have never been a mom?
 
Well it was nice shooting the shit with you....sorry for my absence and I will make a honest effort to keep my blog alive.  I feel so guilty ... I read about 20 blogs a day and get pissed if they miss one.  Do I comment?  Not most of the time.  Times are a changing.

Balonie