This is what I did on my vacation..Day 1

by: Joan Balonie Grade 3

Slept in until 10:30.

Had a shower, made coffee.

The milk I poured in my coffee was "off"..had to use creamer....fucked up my morning.

Had lunch - uneventful. Watched an episode of "All My Children"...Told Erica to kiss my ass, and turned it off.

Went to home Depot to buy stain to paint my deck and new picnic table. AND to buy light bulbs!!

Someone help me out here, I know I don't get out that much, but WHAT IN THE HELL? You can't buy a light bulb anymore. All they had were these energy efficient screwy looking things. Plus some round creepy ugly ones. I bought a whole bunch of my favorite (pastel pink) 60 watt bulbs there sometime this winter....now they were ALL GONE. Where will I get my ambient light bulbs from. I hate nothing more than bright lights. I have dimmer switches in every room in the house. But the problem is with my 4,567 lamps I own. I'm a lamp junkie. And with the price of one of these energy efficient ass hole bulbs I will be out on the street driving my shopping cart full of carpet remnants...blubbering... hip dee dee da huh.

I was really pissed off. So, I went to Canadian Tire, surely they would have a regular light bulb, even if it wasn't a 60 watt Pastel Pink bulb. I found 4-60 watt regular bulbs wayyyyyyyyy down under a bunch of shit on the shelves. I think they were trying to hide them. This was really putting a dark cloud on my holiday I tell ya.

It was getting too late to do any painting, so I just kept on going. Finally I ended up at Zellers and started to look for some clothes.

I didn't have any plans to go clothing shopping today, because if I knew that, I would not have gone into a store dressed like I was. I was dressed to go hardware shopping...not for clothes.

I was wearing an over sized black hoodie sweatshit, blue very light weight sweatpants that have a tie string..not elastic at the waist (wait..that will tie in to another story) blue waffle weave socks and peacock blue lacy looking flat shoes. You see it was cold this morning. Really cold, and I dressed for it, granted, not fashionably, but I didn't factor in the possibility of the sun coming out in the afternoon. And it did, big time.

I had a problem with my pants right off the bat. The tie string kept on getting loose, and I had to keep hiking them up every two minutes. At Home Depot I had to go off to a private corner behind a garden tractor and hike them up, and re-tie the string thing a number of times. When I got to Canadian Tire, I ducked between two plastic plants in the Home Decor section to pull them up. So, when I got to Zellers and was looking at clothes, they started to slide again. I was getting a little irritated by then and just kept on pulling them up discretely..mind you.

Later I was browsing in the garden centre, looking at all the neat patio tables etc. I spied a box with a picnic tent in it, and thought it looked interesting, and tried to take it off the shelf, not realizing it weighed 6,79 pounds. As I pulled on it ..it came down and pushed me backwards, but I caught it before it hit the floor. Well, I didn't really catch it, I sort of wore it because it fell on me. I didn't get hurt, I jumped up quickly, butttttt my pants didn't. This time the tie had come undone all the way...my pants were a loose cannon, there was nothing to hold them up. I grabbed them as fast as I could, fortunately nobody was in that isle, but just as I was tying them back up, I had to adjust my panties that had slide down a notch .. a man walked by me. A MAN. I know he saw me with my hands down my pants. I tried to get away as fast as I could, but he didn't really seem to care what I was doing in my pants, he just wanted to talk about the lousy way Zellers prices their product. We talked for almost 10 minutes and he never even looked at my pants. I guess he had other things on his mind.

It didn't end there...and I swear to you this is a true story..all of it.

I went into the dressing room and tried on some really cute clothes. I was so happy, because they all fit. I started to put everything back on their hangers to take back out, then put my black hoodie on, then put my shoes back on, and started out the door.

What do you think I forgot to put back on? YES, my pants! I had one foot out the door before I realized those fuckers were still sitting in a puddle on the floor. AHHHHH, they are so light it's like not wearing anything at all, and I guess I never missed them. After all they had been sitting half way down my hips the entire day!!

When I came home I threw them in the garbage. No more pyjama type pants for me.

Tomorrow is painting day. Good luck with that ey? I'm going to wear old lady elastic pants.

CANADA DAY ...eve

I have tomorrow off...plus the entire week. I am so relaxed I'm almost falling off my chair. I HAVE 5 DAYS OFF. Tomorrow is July 1st. Canada Day, and I took the rest of the week off.

We are going to build my old fashioned picnic table tomorrow..like the one's you see in the parks. I love them.

I know for certain one of us will get hurt. We don't work well together, but I will try to hold my tongue if it means putting some duct tape over my mouth, because I NEED this table.

I'm looking forward to a great Canada Day. I even have some fireworks... plus a really nice supper planned. Just the two of us..and our Penny.

Movie shoot at our little rental house

It was pretty cool. I don't really know if it's a movie or not. From the website it looks like an interactive ..."who done it." On the internet? I'm not sure.

Anyway, it was kinda thrilling to be out there at 10:00pm watching them shoot at night. Lighting was so important, I had to move my damn truck 5 times. It was too damn shiny.

The Director was very nice and showed us some the tricks they do to make it all seem real. The scene they were going for was a bunch of guys around a fire barrel. We actually have one there, but they brought there own, and it was lit by propane instead of REAL fire. Plus a biker chick was supposed to come up on them in the back lane and cause trouble. We watched them rehearse for about an hour, but then we got tired. I liked the biker chick. She was very cool. She was standing beside me waiting to rehearse while Gord was farting around with the lights behind our building (which is right beside the house)..it's one of those lights that come on automatically when it gets dark. Well, the light didn't work. So, Gord was knocking on the lens....I called over and said "you don't knock on lights" you turn them on, you knock on doors! Biker chick, gave me a HA HA shove, and I almost did a face plant in a puddle of water. She was very pretty and almost 6 feet tall dressed in leathers, so I didn't want to piss her off.

So, all in all it was very interesting. I had my camera with me, but for some reason I had "display" turned off...and I couldn't figure how to fix it in the dark, so I just pointed my camera and shot. And I caught most of it.









This little house on the prairie, might just one day be famous. But I don't think so.

The reason Gord let these guy do the "shoot" was because "Otto" the guy who owned the house before we bought it. We only bought it because we thought sometime down the road we would need it for parking etc. and bulldoze it down. Well, that never happened and we have been renting it out ever since. So, back to Otto. He was a character. He was a cab driver, and loved the movies. Every time a movie shoot came to town, he applied to be an extra. He rubbed shoulders with a lot of movie stars in his time. Winnipeg, has always been considered a great place to shoot, because we have so many historic buildings downtown.

Otto, died last year, so Gord thought it would only be fitting that they did a movie shoot in his old house. He would have been so pleased to have a movie being made in his backyard.

I was going to do a balonie biker video

But it's too dark in my staging area. Thunderstorms have been moving in and out all day, and now there is just the darkness and rain. A very nice calm soothing rain. zzzzzz kind of rain.

I planned the video this afternoon, and wrote a script and everything. It's called Magic meets Fitness. Sounds a little strange I know, but that's the beauty of it. It's bizarre and the ending will freak you out. Everyone will be saying..."how in the hell did she do that?" Even I surprise myself sometimes. I have to figure a way to take the plastic shield thingie off Gord's helmet. I can't ask him, because he would throw a fit if he knew I touched his motorcycle crap. The camera can't pick up too much sound from behind the Hannabal Lecter Mask. Besides, it's a pain in the ass flipping it up to take a drink of wine.

He is such a baby when it comes to his stuff. The next time I do a video, I'm going to wear his leather jacket and his chaps. That would make for a good workout, because they are waaaay too big for me, but let's not dwell on that, let's just think about how all the wrestling around in all that heavy cow skin will improve my cardio workout. It's for a good cause. Then I will put them back neatly in the closet where he stores them, and spit on them. It seems fair, I had the workout and got back at him for being such a baby. I might even put on his revered leather gloves and touch some dog shit out on the back 40, then put them back ..very gently where I found them as well. heh justice will have been served.

I draw the line at wearing his boots. He has smaller feet than I do, and twice as wide. I have some pride! With all that leather I don't want to end up looking like a Clydesdale horse.

Anyway, I'm not going to wear all the shit for the video. Because this time it's all about the magic. Too bad it's so dark, because I'm in the mood to do it right now.

I've had enough fun at his expense. Sorry hon...(you bring the worst out in me:) And yes that goes two ways!

Let's add a little class to this blog

HA...I stole it from another blog, and I can't remember who to thank. But if you see it, let me know.

I just remembered..

Thanks Dorie I owe you one.

Okay...WHO SENT THIS TO ME?

And don't give me the...it wasn't me crybaby answer..whaaa whaaa whaaa, I know it's one of you!

Just a quicky...

It was Hippy Chicks Birthday today, so we all went out for supper...and now I don't have any jam left. I know....I am really getting old fartish. But, it's a week day people!! I have to go to work tomorrow.

Happy Birthday old friend; you always continue to amaze me with your energy and wonderful spirit.

She asked us not to bring any presents, but only a "slip" of a perennial from our gardens, that she could plant in her garden on the farm in our honour. How cool is that?

I brought my favourite plant. It's a prairie grass that has huge tassels on it once it's full grown. I have been looking for this plant for years, and I found it about 3 weeks ago. I bought three of them but only had room for two, so I gave the other one to her. So, it wasn't really a "slip" from a plant I had in my garden, but it surely is my favourite plant. I hope when she see's those big tassels waving in the wind when it's full grown .... it will me be waving back at her.

Happy Birthday Janis!!