You caught me on a bad night. I don't like living here. Again. It's dark and lonely. The house is so well insulated that you can't even hear a car go by. I can hear the garbage trucks because they are loud. That is about it. When we lived at the other house...the city was alive...and I could hear air planes...ambulances, fire trucks ... trains...cars...trucks ...everything. I could hear the school buzzer buzzing accross the street when school started. None of it ever bothered me... I was so used to the noise.....and made me feel safe. Not that I don't feel safe here...but I miss the NOISE.
I met an old friend at the store yesterday and she asked me how I liked living where we are....and I told her it was like living in a vacumn..... nothing happens here....deer roam freely... so fucking what...you see one...you have seen them all. Maybe once spring comes around and I can work outside this might change my mind.
Penny's lump...Lipoma has grown larger again.... it always seems to do that around December. I am so stressed out about taking her to the vet. If they have to do an operation it might kill her....because I have left it for so long hoping it would stop growing. It was for a year or two...but now it's getting in her way of walking. She still runs...but it's on her shoulder and had gone down to her right leg.
I cannot imagine living in this huge house without her. She is my pal. We read each others minds...Strange as that seems. I have never felt more connected to anyone. It will be a very sad day when we have to part ways. Then I will have to make some hard core decisions on how I will decide to spent the rest of my life. Gord is never home....and is still doing his thing....with the business....and his brother....all the time....
I thought retirement meant .... having a good time at the end of your life cycle... I guess it takes two to tango.