Monday, April 26, 2010

Well it's been awhile hasn't it

Sorry life has got in the way again. Too much going on and I don't know which way to turn. My head is spinning like a top. sooooo much shitz.

All I can think of is: 4 more days of work. 4 more days....sigh...4 more days. I have to write a farewell speech....well I don't HAVE to, but I want to. I will miss my boys. (electricians) They are so unique and each and every one has such a great personality. In all my 14 years there I have never had a confrontation with one of the guys...evar. They might of wanted to kick my ass a few times for bugging them about getting time sheets and work sheets in on time, but they didn't. It's really all about doing what you have to do with a sense of humour...and they can't help but like you because you aren't all up on their shit. I have been criticized at times for being too lax when it comes to MAKING them get everything in on time from our head office. Well a little sugar goes a long way, let me tell you. If you piss them off, they will piss you off. They know they can come to me for anything and I will do my best to do..whatever....

I hope the new guy knows this too. But, I wouldn't put any bets on it. But, I'm sure it will be a learning curve for everyone.

So, Friday will be the first day I will not be wearing a hoodie and jeans to work. Yeah, I decided to dress up because they are going to bestow me with gifts .. and shit. And people are coming from our head clients... for the....Grand Opening of our new building/Joan's (forced)retirement.

Got any drugs?....because I'm getting a little worked up about this. I think one of Hippy Chicks ..ummm brownies would do the trick on Friday. But I must keep my head clear to say goodbye ..and try not to use words like ... assholes, fuckers, and I really wished you would have waited until I turned 65 in October to let me make the decision.

Yeah...lots of shit going on in my head. 4 more days people.

Balonie....pulling her hoodie over her head.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My ducks

I had to take it with a zoom lens so it's a little blurry. I tried to put it up in Facebook but that pile of shit doesn't like me.
They are cute as hell, and were mating there, but then they moved on. I was hoping to see the little chicks flapping around in the pond. They better come back. If not I will hunt them down. I'm sure they have moved on to our neighbours pool. Ducks have been nesting there for 15 years.
So, what's up with me? Not to much...just waiting until the end of the month. I'm looking into taking some courses this summer. You know the old lady shit. When I retire, as such.
*** Synchronized farting...I got that from my fav web site: she cracks me up.
*** Velcro is your friend ....when you can no longer can tie your damn shoe laces.
***Suppositories are the new sex
*** Playing ... Count the hairs on your chin
*** Perms ... How not to let people know you are two perms away from taking the big dirt nap.
That's all I got tonight. I will try to find more things to do once I sober up. :)
balonie... keeping all the rest of the crazy talk in her head.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I had my picture taken today

For the last time. My boss wanted to put it in our company newsletter, along with the blah blah of my years of service. Well, I don't photograph well. I always look like some fat faced chick with nuts in her cheeks. But he made me.

As we were doing the photo shoot, he wanted me to "wave".. like in goodbye forever mode. I tried....It took four shots before I got the wave right. First I did the bye bye wave, where I crunched my fingers..... no good. Then I did the FU wave...not acceptable... then I did a cheer leading kind of wave....which I think looked like I was too happy to go. Finally on the last shoot he made me do the Queen wave. Hand up... palm showing. Waving like I was on Valium. Perfect.

Now everyone in the company is going to think I won't be able to get another job other than a crossing guard.

Balonie....she's been having some issues.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

To the Lady

Who hit me with her cart at Safeway today. You are an asshat. My ankle will never be the same. Then when I went back to my truck with winds of 5,678 miles an hour howling around me... the truck door door closed on the same ankle. Ouch...Ouch and Ouch.

It's Murphy's Law happening..... my company short term insurance will be expiring at the end of the month after I get turfed. It's okay... I can walk and might even be able to kick her ass if I ever see her again.

There are so many things to think about with you are forced to retire. Now, finally the word is out and our employees know about it....and are giving me the sad eyes. People from head office finally got the message today, and are congratulating me on my forced retirement. Little do they know it was not my idea. I say nothing...because that's the way I roll. What's the point.

The company is being very generous, and I'm getting all sorts of stuff and money. And a luncheon with staff clients and friends.

I'm inviting all of you to my private retirement party. It will on Friday April 30th. on facebook. It can't be done here. I'm calling it balonie bites the dust.

If you need the address let me know. Now I'm going to eat soup.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Waterbeds are us.

Gord and I got our first water bed (bladder) in the early 70's before they actually had real water bed frames for them. We were travelling with Gord's brother and wife on a trip to Las Vegas. After that we wanted to see San Francisco we were on a waterbed hunt because you couldn't get them in Canada....I know...most of you children would have told us to go on the internet and buy one, but HA HA on you, there was no internet .. You actually had to go TO THE PLACE to buy the stuff. The US of A never liked shipping crap like that here. So we found a place in The Haight Ashbury area.....a hippy haven. It was so cool. People were actually wearing flowers in their hair. So Gord and his brother bought a water bed bladder. ..everytime if write that I feel like peeing.

Side note: This was the trip that Gord proposed to me in Vegas. That's for another blog. We are talking waterbeds here people. we bring the bladders home. Gord's brother and his wife built a bed for their bladder's not hard to do just a frame to hold it in place with a pedestal underneath to prop it up a notch. It wasn't much but it served the purpose. Gord and I however did not have the luxury of building stuff...nor did we know how. We lived in an apartment..(in sin) see above ...we weren't married at the time.

We went to great lengths to remove our old bed in the apartment (and let me tell you it was old) It was passed on to us from about 5 previous owners when Gord was going to school. I always wished it could talk.....what a tale it could tell I am sure some children were conceived in it....but was what it was. I am sure some dead beat daddies were denying that mattress .

So, we booted the bed and the mattress of sin. And installed the water bed bladder on the floor of our bedroom. As hippies do. ( I didn't say we were smart). When we were filling up the mattress with water Gord decided...when it was half full that it shouldn't have been so close to the the base board heaters ... and then when we tried to move it...WE TORE IT on the edge of the heater. Well fuck you have never seen two people move faster in your life to catch the water. Thankfully it wasn't full and we could cup each end up before most of the water hit the floor.

So, here we are each at one end cupping it up and it's what? Nobody can let go. ( I just read that line and it really is the story of our lives) . We live on the edge of a ledge most days. Our bathroom was just around the we moved very carefully..inch by inch to get into the bathroom.. we had to round a corner which caused a few tidal waves...then finally we got into the bathroom and the tub............and let it go..... Can you imagine how much that would have cost us if we have flooded the place? There was a lot of water on the floor, but we managed to mop it all up without any damage. Fortunately we were on the main floor.

That was a wake up call. After that we bought a regular bed. But.....then when we bought our first house, waterbeds had finally hit Canada...and you could buy the whole package. And they would come to your house and set it up for you.

And my friends .... we have never slept better. We have had a few different one's over the years but we still like the old bladder style....the beds with the foam in them were a pain in the ass and now when we are starting to think about moving we are going for the soft sided beds. It's like a regular mattress with baffles holding the water in it. I haven't tried one yet but I will.

For me and for Gord...we find there is no pressure points when you sleep in a waterbed. You just sort of melt into it and and it conforms to your body. And it's warm and cozy....especially if you have a a cute puppy snoring beside you.

This is a pic of the one I am going to buy for our new house....and the chick that is sitting on the bed must be my twin.......35 years ago....heh... I love this bed. It sort of looks like the one we have now but nicer. I love the lines of it. There is no box to but the bed in, the bed sits on top of the platform. That's what is so great about the soft sided water don't have to box them in. The mattress will also fit conventional bed frames so you don't really have to buy a special bed.

So we shall continue the tradition. Laugh all you want suckers.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I'm pissed off..really say you?

Yeah, our waterbed took another dump. Or a pee as the case may be.

I got the couch and Gord's got the girly day bed downstairs....I hope it holds him.

Balonie...holding her breath

Sunday, April 04, 2010

I'm giving you guys the finger...oops it's gone.

Remember my food processor problems? Well, I wasn't about to use it this weekend, so I pulled out my new and that has never been used manual slicer. As I was slicing potato's...then carrots...and some onions, I was thinking of what I would write on my blog today. I thought I might fool you and tell you I sliced off my finger, because it's a pretty precarious piece of equipment.

It did not take a minute after that when I almost took part of my left "ring finger" A nice chubby piece of skin. Some of it hung on. So I tucked it all back together and and wrapped in a paper towel and let it bleed out for a bit. Put a band aid on it...and am hoping for the best.

Just when you are trying to be funny, it comes back and bites you in the ass. In my case finger.

balonie..... going..what the hell......

Friday, April 02, 2010

Dark and gloomy day

It always rains on Good Friday. But that is a good thing because it washes away all the crap from the streets that winter has bestowed upon us.

I'm wiped out. Helped out at the Reno house and did the bookwork for year end all day.

Do you realize I am one month away of getting a life!

1. I will throw away my alarm clock. I'm going to kick that bastard to the curb. I am not a morning person.

2. I will wake up in the morning, read the paper at my leisure...and not look up at the clock 2,300 times.

3. I will take my shower and wash all my body parts, not just those that need it the most.

4. I will finish up my cuppa coffee instead throwing most of it in sink because it's getting late.

5. I won't have to call the dog in while she is half way through a shit, because I have to get going.

6. Being able to shop at my leisure and make good choices. And cook. I love cooking, but there never seems enough time for it.

7. Finding something else I love to do....then get passionate and do it.

I will give myself a month or so to get used to this. But I can't even explain how I am looking forward to this. A whole life of work is now over, unless I choose otherwise...but for now, it's looking pretty good. Touch wood.

balonie...sticking her tongue at you working stiffs.