Sunday, October 30, 2005

Two wedding

Last Sunday, we buried my Uncle Henry, yesterday we buried Auntie Helen. This was just so sad. I mentioned that in my elaborate post last Sunday. I should seriously should keep things shorter.

About a week before Uncle Henry died, she had quit eating, and was put on IV's. Uncle Henry was taking care of her right to the end before he had his stroke. It must have been hard for him with her having Altzheimers disease, but he would not let anyone else look after her. So, the family decided that they would let her go too, as she had no quality of life left, and her soul mate was waiting for her. She died on Thursday.

I went back home to Altona, by myself, this time. Gord and my friend Janis had other plans and couldn't come again this time. I had a was a little worried about doing a road trip by myself, because I haven't done it for such a long time. But, when Saturday morning rolled around, I was looking forward to getting into that big horking old fart leisure van and driving. The weather was beautiful, it was a fall morning, with some fog rolling in from the river. I packed up my gear and headed South..back to my home, where the buffalo roam. No chatter, just me the road, and my thoughts. The flat prairie unfolded before of me. All the fields had been harvested, nothing left but some stubble and a vast landscape of land. The sunflowers had not been harvested yet, they were still waiting for a "hard" frost." Their shriveled heads were still poking up off the fields. The crops they grow in Southern Manitoba are mainly wheat, sugar beets, and sunflower. Of course there are many farmers who are now diversifying and growing "special crops," such as peas and corn, but for the most part it is wheat, sunflower and beet country.

I enjoyed the ride out, had a little fight with the cruise control, but we worked it out in the end. I won.

I got to the funeral 5 minutes late...because..well I don't drive as fast as other people, and I was paranoid with all the "road kill"...God that was ugly. And every few miles, the road signs would say "DEER CROSSING"..and I would slow down, because I didn't want to hit a critter.

So, all in all, I went back to the same church and we did what we had done last week. My cousins were right worn out I think. Now, they will have sometime to reflect and regroup. They have had a hell of a year. I was glad I went, and met with so much affection from that side of the family I didn't know that well. After the lunch I went out searching for my sister's grave.

I never knew her. She was born in 1941 and contracted meningitis at three months of age and died. Her name was Diana Carol Kehler. My mom never wanted to talk about her when we were growing up. I knew where the cemetery she was buried in was, and decided while I was there, I would try to find it. I spent over an hour trying to locate her grave. I almost gave up. After all, this would be some 64 years after she died, and some of those grave stones were not legible anymore. Then for some reason, I spotted a little tiny grave beside a lilac bush...I walked towards it, and saw her name, on a chipped makeshift headstone. It looked like someone carved it by hand. I found my sister! I always knew where she was, but was never allowed to go there. It was Mom's sorrow, and didn't want to me to go there or bring it up when we were young. One thing I will always remember...she told me that when Diana died, all the relatives and friends talked about Diana, and they said ..."in Low German"...."she was too beautiful to live." I am sure she always took some comfort in that. Parents never want their children to die before them. It's just not right. It changed her life. I think after me and my brother were born, she was so afraid we would die...she spoiled the heck out of us.

These last years when all my family have slowly been leaving me for better pastures, I have been thinking of Diana. She would have been the oldest sibling who usually is the strongest for the younger ones. Now it was left to me. I sure could have used a sister to talk to instead of trying to be the steadfast one all alone. I told her so, when I went to visit. I told her a lot of stuff. I sat there for about an hour. Then I got back in my van, and sped off home. I was very glad to get back. To many emotions. I will go back next year, and bring flowers to that forgotten grave so long ago.

When I was there I took a picture of it. You can tell by the headstone, that it was carved by a local tradesman in town. The "D" in Diana has been chipped away, it appeared that is has moved a few times as it's not now in the centre of the tiny cement plot it once was. I found the entire cemetery very interesting as well, there were so many old neighbor's I remember that are buried there. It's truly a little bit of history. Diana Carol Kehler.."safe in Jesus arms" is the bottom inscription.

Friday, October 28, 2005

33 years of wedded bliss

In bad clothes.

This would be us coming down the isle, Gord, for some reason decided Tuxedo's were not his style..nope.

He made a special trip to Eaton's and got a burgandy VELVET suit, and looked for weeks for the bow tie to match it. What luck, he found one. LORD. I'm not sure where the shirt came from. My dress was in the fashionable Princess style. My Dad wanted to pay for my dress, I was dead against it because they were only getting by, and they were already paying for the food at the wedding. So, when I went wedding dress shopping, I went to one of those fancy dancy wedding shoppe's. I looked and looked, and finally came up with a bridesmaid dress I liked, and asked it they could do it in White...and YES, they could... and it was only $45.00 as compared to 200.00 for a real bridal gown. I'm happy, my dad's happy, so be it. I borrowed the veil from my sister in law...and we were in business!

Just a note: He wore that damn velvet suit to evey occasion for the next 5 years, until he split the pants... Elvis would have been proud.

As we were leaving the church. This was supposed to be a "fall" wedding but it snowed shit that day. As we said then...bummer.

My Daddy, and me.

My cousin Chris and I.

The necessary "ring" pic.

Gord, making his speech to my parents (I don't know why he has my bouquet in his hands) telling them how he would treat me right..blah blah. We always kid him about this picture, because there seems to be "halo" over his head. And, you know what else is spooky, I have two more pictures of him taken by different people, at different times and there is a "halo" over his head...

What should one think? Is he the chosen one? I hope not, I can't take the pressure. Because if that is for cover.

The Cake...long story...the original cake got fucked up by the cake company, and I had to run to Safeway THAT morning, and get another one...fudge.

Leaving, for the honeymoon...notice my Granny dress... I dressed Gord in Halloween colours...yes I did. Everyone had to do WHAT the bride said, I was in charge...and dont't mess wit da bride.

Mom and Dad....Dancing the first dance after ours his parents are in the background....notice I got my mom in fall colours too....I had a theme going. How the hell did I know it was going to snow that day..bleh..

The Head Table...I got this out of order...but there I am the blushing bride.

Family pic with my parents.

Last, but not least.....THIS IS HOW I DECORATED OUR CAR!! I didn't even use Kleenex flowers, I used crepe paper, huge, huge, amount of crepe paper, ...thinking I wanted it to be sure was!!

Well, that was nice walk down memory lane. Brings a little tear to my eye, just seeing my mom and dad.

So, I hope all you youngin's reading this get a good laugh, but you too will laugh at your wedding pics after 33 years....and say, What was I thinking"?


oops.I just realized I had put two pics of my parents in the blog..I meant to put one in of Gord and I with his parents... so here it is.

WELL, nevermind because that dumb frigging little picture thing on top isn't working...I want my money back!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Brad who?

There is nothing better than making an ass of yourself in blogger. And for some reason, it just comes naturally for me. I am a natural. Yes I am. You would think I would gather my factoids before shooting off my fingertips on the keyboard...nope. Not my style. I prefer to look like a I know stuff. I don't. What do you want?..the last movie I probably saw was "Gidget." Except for part 11 of Titanic, you know the one where the airplane goes down in the red sea. Yep, that was the one. I'm still wiping some that egg sammich off me face!!

Okay, then.

Let's talk about something I do know about.

Don't look so surprised.

I know about some stuff. I know, that tomorrow is Gord's Birthday, and it's also our 33rd. Wedding Anniversary. This fact alone, would explain why I have a few screws loose. Those screws were pretty tight some 33 years and used often when we got married so long ago..but alas, as time goes on there isn't enough WD40 to unwind em:) Actually our sex life isn't the problem, it's staying up late enough to do it..LOL Nuff said. (blushing like a bride)

I will post a bunch of wedding pic's tomorrow. I have never regretted a day in my life (okay maybe a day or two) that I married him. He has been my rock. We have had hundreds of ups and downs...but such is life. You learn. You compromise. You cry and you yell. He is still they guy I met on a motorcycle in 1962 and I am still the hot chick he took on that ride.

Until tomorrow.

Yours truly,


Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Apparently Brad Pitt is in the "Peg." The media is going ga-ga. He is making a Jessie James kinda movie, in our downtown exchange district. Half of the area looks like an old duster movie set... You sort of expect "Festest" (don't quote me on the spelling) come running out and yellin "Mr. Dillon Mr. Dillon, there's been another killin."

Brad, Brad, you have got this town turned upside down. I have even heard that you have waved at a few fans. That was a nice gesture, as you came out the most expensive restaurant in our town. Good on you. I am sure they will keep the DNA from the spit that was drooling out their mouths as evidence that they did at one time get within 50 feet from you. You should be proud. The foolish media, who are fucktards BTW...keep telling us...oh..he looks so much shorter in real life than on the I friggin care?

You know, if Brad decided to come to my house right now for a chat with balonie, I would treat him like a ordinary person. I would invite him in for some of my homemade wine, make a beef jerky snack, and we would a conversation:

Balonie: Brad..I will be your love slave...okay, I am just making that up. I would have to be honest with him and tell him I have only seen one of his movies, and that was part 2 of Titanic...(we screwed up part one on our old VCR) but I was very impressed with part 2. And that would be it. I haven't seen any of his movies. Nadda. I only know what has been said about him thru the media. I know, the internet is frowning, and thinking that balonie might be a little out of touch. Depends what you mean by out of touch. I am not a big movie buff. Movies take two hours, I only have the attention span of an ant. So, that makes it a little hard for me to sit down in one place that long. Anyway, I digress. I'ts always about me, isn't it...fudge..

Brad: Balonie...whoa...beef jerky and homemade wine..."you rock"...

Balonie: Bradley, cool yer heels, we are jest having a little snack, don't go be getting all crazy and all.

Bradley: Glad you got to watch part 2 of Titanic...I guess then you knew it sank.

Joan: Yes, Bradley, I did. It might be time for you to go back home.

Monday, October 24, 2005

That is why I'm not moving to Arizona for the winter. Too, many pricks.

I'm still hot on podcasting, but it will have to wait for the weekend. I have the call letters for my little radio station...BALONIE 911 FM...and my motto, will be ..ummm..I don't know yet. It will be broadcasted when? umm I don't know. I will be doing a lot ummm's I don't know yet. But it will be good. I noticed most of them had a music theme on their shows, and god some of them were bad, I hope to make mine even worse LOL...I love lame shit.

But this a good thing. Two years ago I found computer scrapbooking which totally excited me, last year I found blogging, and that too gave me a voice that I didn't know I had...and now I can make a total fool of myself in front of the entire world with doesn't get better than that!! Maybe I is gettin to big fer my britches....ahhhhh jest kiddin...I just loves to play.

over and out

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I have discovered Podcasting!!

Bought my mic and headphones yesterday. Yesereeee...I'm going ON AIR. I only discovered on Sat. morning when I was reading a techie bit in the newspaper (I know, where have I been)??...anyway, I couldn't wait. I went on a few of the podsites yesterday and laughed my ass off. Some of them are so lame. For anyone that doesn't know what this is, it's like a little radio station all of your own, and you can make a total fool of yourself broadcasting to the ENTIRE world, if someone chances on your broadcast. It is tooo funny. I have a hundred things running through my head. My brother and I used to do this the hard way, multi years ago, before God invented computers. Now, I just have to figure the whole thing out. Yesterday I listened to a guy who did Shakespearean silioqueys, to a background of farm animals noises..with the odd flushing of toilets. Well, it's probably my twisted sense of humour, but it was funny. But, of course I will do something much more mature. Yes. Well maybe. I can't wait till the snow flys, and there is no more yard work to be done, so I can play with me toys.

I got back from my uncle's funeral about 5:30 this afternoon. I went back to my hometown about 75 miles from the city. My girlfriend (hippychick) Janis, from AAhour accompanied us. She was born and raised in the same village where my uncle and family farmed. So we all have a common bond. The worst part about everything is now that my aunt, who is suffering from Altziemers disease, is probably going to die any day now. They had finally moved to town, after leaving the farm about three months ago, and Uncle Henry was tending to her. They got established in a seniors facility with medical capabilities, and he then had a mild stroke. He got over that, but was never the same, and suffered two more until his death last Thursday. So, now my aunt is in palliative care at the hospital, because she is so disabled without Uncle Henry to take care of her. She quit eating last Tuesday. It was all so sad. My cousin Phyllis is bearting the brunt of all this, and I feel so sorry for her. After the funeral was over and she saw me, I swear to God, she hugged me soooo hard, I thought my heart was going to quit beating. She thanked me over and over for coming...I don't know why she thought I wouldn't..maybe because we haven't ever been very close, but we all know the right things to do. She was at my parents funerals..and by golly, I will attend hers. But, I can understand, when my mom or dad passed, I was so eternally gratefull for those that took out a moment of their lives to acknowledge theirs. That's heavy stuff. And it gets you through the tough times. Family.

I felt sorry for Janis. Her parents are too buried in this little tiny village cemetery we were at. And as we were all saying our goodbyes at the gravesite, she was over at her Mom and Dad's plot. She stood there for a long time. We didn't disturb her. When she was ready, she came back to the van. Some tears... and we went home. I was never so glad to get back home... And I guess I will doing all this over again in a few weeks, but that is okay...

My Auntie Helen helped me out more than she knew after my mom died. A year had passed, and it was mother's day, and I was a little weepie and such. I got a phone call from her, and she and Uncle Henry were out in the country not to far from Winnipeg looking at the crops and such like farmers do, and she asked if they could come over for a visit. YES!! I ran out to Safeway and bought a cake and made sure I had the coffee going when they came around. When they got here, she told me that every daughter should have a mother on mother's day, and she thought she would come over and be with me. I will never ever forget that one kindly deed, never.

I guess you never know whose life you touch weather you know it or not, just by being there. I told the story to Phyllis today......and she was so happy.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Bad, bad hair day - the post I started on Thursday

I left work today at 4:30PM, and aimlessly drove down Pembina Highway, and wishy washy thoughts were tumbling through my head. Do I go for groceries at Safeway, or do I get my hair cut? Wish, wash, wish, wash...until I found myself in front of "Magic Cuts." Okay, then I guess I will get that much needed haircut. By much needed, is an understatement. I have been growing me tresses for about 3 months now, I wanted so much to be able to put my hair UP, in with of those combs I see all the ladies wear. I really, really, wanted that, because there is no way I would have grown out my hair for any other reason. But, in the last few weeks it has become clear to me why I have never done that before. I have naturally wavy hair, which has it's own agenda when it gets longer. I have moussed and douched it in every possible way..and it still sticks out of my head in every direction. Now, you youngins are probably thinking, that is a good thing, because you like it all sticking out and shit. Apparently that look is for you, but for me it looks like I have just had an incident with electricity.

I'm going to pull an Andie Pandie here and do a rant, because my "stylist"...and I use that word lightly, had either just come back from re-hab or had a problem with .. well..everything. I didn't have an appointment. This is one of these fast haircut places, which is good by me, because I like it fast. Have I ever told you about my lack of patience? Okay then. I have none. The stylist, saw me come in, and mind you there were only two of them at the shop, and met me at the counter. I told her my name, and yes, I had been there before (5689 times) and I would like a haircut. She estimated the time would be about 30 minutes...yes, I said that would be good by me. That would give me time to peruse all the hairstyling books in the shop and chose one that would impossible for her to recreate with my tresses. I love to make them squirm. Meanwhile, while I was sitting and waiting I took notice that everytime the phone rang, she had to answer it, because the other lone "stylist" was schmoozing, and I mean schmoozing one of her reg's. The caller was obviously asking if a so and so was available for a cut...and she was not happy with that..because I guess she was the new girl on the block, and told them that they could come in anytime and get the stylist that was at hand.

So, she went about her business and finished up cutting the other ladies hair, and talked her head off...that poor ladies head was in heap with her hair on the floor by the time it was over. Lordyluvahaircut. She talked her head OFF. So, I'm thinking, who do I get, her or the other one who is orgasming over her client. I pretty well didn't want anyone of the two. But, just as I was about to make my decision to was my turn..and I got the HER.

I was trembling when I went up to her station...but I brought a picture I had found in Canadian Living as I was sitting there. It was a picture of a girl (about 19) with her head back..and her short hair sort of looking the way I thought mine should. If she could cut my hair like this, then in my mind I could look like her was my thinking. But, of course I knew that not to be true, I was sober for god's sake. I showed her the picture and she didn't have a problem with that at all. She didn't even mention that I was sooo much older that the chick in the pic. and it was impossible to do. Nope, she thought it was all possible. But then again, that was before she talked head off all way through the haircut.....over and over and over...God...she was still pissed at people that come up to the counter and want a hair cut and want a certain stylist....and she NEVER AND NEVER stopped talking about it...NEVER. At one point she told me that she was different than other people and needed to find a special place to work, one where she fit in. (do you think)? She was just mad as hell, because she was the new there and the clients were looking for their old stylists..and on it went.

I was getting kinda scart...I told her my hair didn't have to look ..QUITE like the picture...but just close. She started cuttin away. The fucking phone rang again, she excused herself and answered it...and again, the client was asking when so and so would be able to cut their hair..she came back a little madder...she was actually steaming. So, I said, you know, I think what you have done with my hair looks really nice, and I don't think you need to anything further. Then she asked me if I wanted to see the back...ohhhhhh yes I really wanted to see the back, because I do not like my hair short over a certain section of the back of me head...uh uh...I have a crease back there that the hair must cross..if it's showing...I'm not a happy camper..noooo. So, she showed it to me, and I thought, wow, it's great. Then she asked if she could use the clipper thingie to do my neck hair, and foolishly I said yes.

She told me that she was only going to do some kind of clipping job that would not make the hairline jagged after it grew out, she said did always did this because other stylists never thought to do it. I told her I liked the first viewing I didn't need any more shaving, but she went on and on ...just getting the ends off and all she said. So, as she was still bitching and talking about clients that don't know the difference of a walk in shop as opposed to a appointment type shop...then .....she buzzed off all my neck hair up to the middle of my head! Well, it feels that way, I can feel the sharp hairs of my neck poking into my skin...AND THE BACK OF MY NECK LOOKS LIKE A STUMP. I needed to get out of there,and fast. All I wanted to do is hop in my big horking van and try to repair it, glue it back on, anything!

As she removed my bib or that thing they throw over you to catch the hair, I saw just how much hair was cut as it fell to the floor, Oh Lord. Meanwhile she was still talking, but had changed the subject to: how mothers name there children regular names but spell them differently. She had just watched a TV reality show where this was an issue (go figure) and proceeded to get out a piece of paper and write down the was Vernonika and other was Monika. She could not get over the fact they had changed the "c" into a "k"...meanwhile I am dyin. Finally she rang up my bill, and pointed out where on the bill the "tip" portion was for me to fill out. I just whispered to myself.."Honorable kamikaze pilot"...are you otta yo fukin mind?!!! A TIP!, for driving me absolutely nuts and shaving all the hair off my head, I think not. I paid for the cut and left. She was still talking as I bolted out the door.

And that my friends is my Andie Pandy rant for the month. I came home and dealt with what was left of my hair as best I could. My ears and neck are cold. I can even feel people breathing around me, that is how short my hair is. I know, get over will grow back. It will, but I hope I live that long.

So, some bad things happen but then good things happen to cancel them out. That evening I got a call from her Specialness. Yes, Ms. SK. She took that frown right off my face...We had a nice chat. AND, I talked her head off again! I have head theme going on here, don't I?

Well, that was the good thing, but then a bad thing had to happen after I got off the phone with her, I got a call from my cousin back home and found my uncle had died. Nuts! Now, I am waiting for another good thing to happen to cancel that one out. It never ends. Oh, yes actually another good thing did happen, I almost forgot the kindly Ms. Brenda sent me some blinkies!!! Check em out over...up there.

Okay, everything has evened up. I hope it stays that way. I will be going to my uncle's funeral tomorrow. I wasn't very close to him, but it will be nice to see all my cousins (on my dad's side) of the family again.

Oh, are the answers to yesterdays quiz:
Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants
know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . . boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . . . Niagara
Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year
because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . . asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the
team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball .
. . baseball.

5. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . strawberry.

6. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the
bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small,
and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for
the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped
off at the stems.)

7. Three English words beginning with dw . dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

8. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . . period, comma,
colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark,
exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. (my personal fav)

9. The original lakes referred to in Lakers . . in Minnesota. (The
team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and kept the
name when they moved west.)

10. Seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without
getting a hit . . . taking a base on balls (a walk) . . batter hit by
a pitch, passed ball, catcher interference, catcher drops third
strike, fielder's choice, and being designated as a pinch-runner.

11. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed,
cooked, or in any other form but fresh . lettuce.

12. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "s" .
shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes,
stockings, stilts.

Friday, October 21, 2005

For all you know it alls!!

I started a post last night, but was pleasantly interrupted by someone whose initials are S.K. ... how do like those apples, huh? So, I will just put up a quick quiz and see who can get the most answers right. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves till I get back tonight. Oh BTW I have a prize for the winner.

Know-It-All's Test:

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants knows the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?

5. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

6. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear

inside the bottle The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine;

it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

7. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and

they are all common words. Name two of them.

8. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at

least half of them?

9. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the Los Angeles Lakers?

10. There are 7 ways a baseball player can legally reach first base

without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls (a walk) is one way. Name

the other 6.

11. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned,

processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

12. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with

the letter "S."

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Halloween is frightening me

My whole neighbourhood has suddenly changed from a peaceful little community to a phony balonie, blood and guts horror hole. This has been going on since the beginning of October! I find the fake graveyard next door very disturbing... I know it's fake, but I don't like I don't. I'm thinking of going out late at night and dig up some sod in their yard beside the phony headstones...(that would surprise them) ya think? Throw a little ketchup around it, and let them SCREAM in the morning when they go out to work!!! The lady next door on the other side has really scary witches in her front porch. Not just little witches...oh no...larger than life ..huge MF.. Witches made out of ..umm probably something recycled...because that's what everyone here does with a passion. I don't mind recycling normal stuff, but these desperate housewives always seem to take it a step further and make me look like a loser. They would recycle their dog if it died. Anyway, I'm getting off topic, these witches are probably filled with old pancakes they couldn't get down the garburator. I don't know. They look bloated. They were fat witches, mean looking, and dirty little witches with pointy dirty hats. Oy.. they look like a girl in 3rd. grade that I knew.

Let's go up the road a house or two. Probably a home with children..lots of them, and their mother is on crack. 10,000 cutouts of pumpkins, witches, and spiders IN EVERY WINDOW. Hey, mother on crack, I have a the hell are you going to get all that glue off your windows in time for you to put up another 10,000 Christmas decorations...just tell me how? I can't even get my dog's nose prints off my windows cause it's all gluey like, how do you do that? But maybe you have more time on your hands, than I do. And another thing, these Halloween decorations don't come for free, how in the hell can anyone afford to buy them and then in another month or so buy 35 plastic Reindeer for their front lawn..along with the plastic poop. How is that? Wait a minute, I haven't got to the part where you buy all the costumes for the kids, treats for the trick and treaters, and the hospital bills when someone slips them a razor blade. Then comes Christmas... no wonder we all have to see the "lonearranger."

I don't know, I am being a little cynical tonight, but from what I see out my living room window, it looks a little desperate...a little tooooo much for one night of what once was a night of innocent trick or treating and kids having a little fun. Why does everyone make something into a major WalMart holiday...and spend so much money, I don't get it.

You knew where I was going with this, didn't you.......when I was young we didn't have all the hoopla. It was Halloween and I would dress up in my dad's clothes and my brother would dress up in my Mom's clothes..and we would laugh and each other. That is just what you did. I remember one year my mom gave me frames from her glasses that had long lost their lenses and I thought I was so cool. I was wearing my dad's old Co-op Service Station uniform, all rolled up to fit, and glasses with no lenses, there was nothing funnier. My brother wore my mom's old housedress and he wore lipstick, mannnn we were in stitches. When that got old, we switched and I wore mom's dress and he wore the uniform. But, it never lost it funnyness. Mom would give us a pillowcase for the goodies and off we would go after supper.

In our town, there was always a division between the have a lots, the have a little, and the have nots. We were sort of the have a little, but wanted more, especially on Halloween, so we headed out for the houses of the have a lot. That meant going straight over to the only Doctor's house in town. We would get a real store bought chocolate bar. Score. The rest was mostly chewy candy wrapped up in wax paper, apples, and homemade popcorn balls. But we loved it all. You have to consider I lived in a Mennonite town, so of course many of the houses were dark on Halloween, because it was considered a pagan holiday, so you had to trek many a mile to get to all the houses that had a light on.

I have to admit we were a little naughty as we got older and tipped a few outhouses, soaped a few windows, egged a few cars, and even knocked on people's window's and ran away. THAT was such a rush. We only had one day a year to be bad asses. I have this nagging notion in my head as I am writing this, I remember my dad being really pissed at me one Halloween, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. I know guys would take stuff from behind shops around town and drag them on the middle of Main Street late at night (the only main drag in town) and it would cause such a ruckus in town the next morning. Yeah like a traffic jam could happen LOL... The town council would post a letter in our newspaper the next week and scold the culprits and say that such behavior would not be tolerated.

The world sure has waggled in a different direction today. But, y'know, if I could find a outhouse, I would tip the sucker!!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Cleaning up

I have decided to start typing my blogs in Word.  Word gives me the edge I can’t get in blogger, it actually corrects some of  my errors.  And I am error prone.  

The pot roast is simmering on the stove, along with the potatoes and carrots.. it smells heavenly.  It smells like fall.  I feel pretty queenly like sitting on my new leather chair I got for my birthday.  It smells animal like.  Roarrrrrrr…  I feel like purring.  It’s very comfy, I hope I don’t nod off.  

Actually when I sit in it, I feel like  a CEO and want to make some corporate decisions.  Like….”Gord”…clean up the garage..NOW, winter is coming and all your shit is all over the place and we can’t even get a vehicle in it!

Gord:  Whatta talking about, all I have in here is my Lincoln, two motorcycles, a snow blower, a lawn tractor and a trailer!..what is your problem? You should take your bike out of here…huh? little bike!

Joan:  Okay then, just pick up that piece of paper off the floor, and we will have soooo much more room.

Gord:  Well, you don’t have to get huffy.  Huffy?…

Joan: I don’t like that word, only old people get huffy, I am not a huffer and never will be.  I get pissed off, but never “huffy.”  Now I am pissed off however.

Joan:  Okay, I yell out to him in  the backyard, I was going to make French Toast for breakfast, but now it Salami Sandwiches!!..and I knows he doesn’t like Salami.. the ball is back in my court.

Gord:  Sounds good, I’ll be in a sec.

Joan:  ^%%$#$#.. I didn’t want to have Salami Sandwiches, I reaaaaallly wanted French Toast.  Well, I cooked me own goose I guess.

Meanwhile he is out there, trying to empty the garage and put most of the stuff in our sheds for winter.  He has everything running at the same time, to make sure it’s in good condition.  The lawn tractor is running, the snow blower is running, two motorcycles are running intermittently, and finally he starts up the Lincoln.  Our whole neighbourhood is filled with gas fumes.  Of course with his bikes, he has to take both out for a short stint around the block, and rev the crap out of them, thus making this annual tradition is complete.  

This ritual was not complete, without him taking the riding lawnmower ( forgot to say this before, but we don’t use it at the house but only for our properties)  and he was riding around the back yard trying to scare the be Jesus out of the dog!!!

  Then he took the old motorcycle he was going to store in the shed and started to drive it around in the back yard. Poor Penny.  I was inside, making Salami sandwiches when all the hoopla was going on, when I  heard the horn of the old motorcycle beeping and beeping….and then I heard him yelling…JOAN>>>  …holy moly, I thought something had happened, I ran out the front door, and couldn’t find him, I realized he was in the backyard with the old bike.  I ran up to him and asked what was the matter… and he said all he wanted his was his  picture taken on the bike…Lordylovgordie……….. it’s never a dull day.  The only thing he didn’t have running was the rototiller…but the nights not over yet.  

I will give him a rating of a “D” today as in Dink….but he’s my dink…what can I say..I married the guy I must have good taste.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I love the new look

Isn't it pretty? Yes it is. Much easier on the eyes. I think I will keep it for a long time.

I am still recovering from last weekend. I slept in until 10:30 this morning, and woke up just in time to take the dog to the vet for her annual shots. Damn near forgot. The house needs cleaning, laundry is also starting to slither out of the hamper on to the floor. Blah.........I have no energy, I just want to sit and type all day, over and over. But, alas I can't. I have to go to WalMart...triple blah...if I wasn't so cheap I would go elsewhere.

I also have to redo my entire chair rail wall in the kitchen. You know, the one where I put all the floor tiles on the wall. They are still falling off. I resisted putting extra glue on them and put on double sided tape instead...forgitaboutit. They have been falling off, one by one everyday. It looks like a little floor tile graveyard in my kitchen. I just want to smash them. I tried taking a few off that hadn't fallen, and they were a wee bit resistant, so I pulled a little harder and took about 1/2 an inch of drywall with it. The whole wall is fucked. Now I'm going to get out the hairdryer, and heat the "resistant" ones up and take it all down and glue the bastards back on. They will never, ever loosen up again. If they do, by some miracle, I will burn down the house, collect the insurance and move to Turkey.

So, I'm off to tackle a job I am no good at, and I hate with a passion. If the dog starts to bug me, I will glue her on the wall as well. Everything should be quite then. No dog barking, no tiles thumping down on the floor in the middle of the night. Very quite indeed.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Maybe only I know that. I should have scanned the cartoon...I'm still laughing.

My site is under construction, so it may look a little off right now, but I didn't make myself clear to the designer on what I wanted. So, hopefully tomorrow it will look a little better.

So, will be happy, it won't be GREEN anymore!! I was kinda getting sick of it too.

I am still tired, and my f*ing dog kept me up from 4:00AM and on. Our bedroom window faces the backyard, and she must have heard some cats having a "party" in our backyard. She was pacing back and forth on the rug, then she jumped in the waterbed, and out, in the waterbed and, I thought I would get up just in case she really had to go!! .. well, how stupid am I? stupid? The moment I let her out, she started to bark..(at 4:00PM)...she bee-lined it out the patio door and barked and barked. I kept the patio door open hoping she would come back in. All I could hear out there was her "snorting", and some critter trying desperately to hop the fence. Finally, I had to get out there at this early hour in the morning .. in my didn't even have my glasses on, I don't know how I managed the stairs down from the deck. Finally I found her along the fence..still "snorting" at some critter. I picked her up, took her back up the stairs, plunked her down, and kicked her butt in the house!! Man I was mad. No...I didn't kick her butt... but I encouraged it to get into the house. She kept it up until 6:00PM... I don't know what in the hell was out there, but she wanted a piece of it. Then at 6:30 I guess the paper boy came, and she started up again. I just got up already....there was no use in trying to catch a few more zzzz's.

So, I am still sleep deprived. niterszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Life is back to normal

Yes it is. I must apologize once more for my scattered renderings of the chain of events that went down this week-end. I was way too tired, I should have just gone to bed and saved it for another day.

I just saw the best cartoon in the paper. Picture this: A huge ship at sea. The sea is full of floating "lips" .... The captain puts out a distress call...."The sea is full of lips he says" figure it out..........haaaa funny. Or maybe I just find this funny. Or, maybe, I am still too tired..yeah that must be it.

I'm still laughing. Loose lips and all that..

Monday, October 10, 2005


Excuse the typo's....I can't keep my eyes open any longer..

Tuesday night addition: I HAVE JUST RE-READ MY BLOG FROM LAST NIGHT...BAD BALONIE....I SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL I WAS MORE RESTED, BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET IT ALL OUT...I promise a better read, next time...I have no patience. I won't go and correct all the errors, because most of you have already seen my lousy spelling and omissions....Lord!!

I guess I'm not as young as I used to be. Don't you just hate when people say that, obviously if I was as young as I used to be, I wouldn't be this old...I don't know..

That said, the weekend was fantastic, and I pulled off the supper, with the help of my SIL Sheila and friend Janis. There were a LOT of little critters here, all six girls. Two of the cousins had never met their Winnipeg cousins before, and it only took ten minutes and they were best of buds.

I spent and exhausting Saturday cleaning the house, grocery shopping, etc. Later on the AAdjustment hour crew came over and it was Sheila's birthday, so we did some celebrating, with wine and cake and endless chattering. I still hear never ended from Saturday until Sunday nite when everyone left. Chatter..chatter..chatter. My head hurt.

Sunday morning was prep time. Got out Mr. Turkey Lurkey, slapped him in a roaster about 11:00 AM...and started on ALL the other dishes I had I planned on making. Maybe I was on speed or something during the week, thinking I could possibly make all the stuff I was planning and not get tired, frustrated. The guests were due to arrive at 4:00 and supper would be 6-7ish. At lunch time I had to make the following food stuff ahead of time, because there would be no way I could do it later:

#1. Mashed potatoes for 17 people - A customer of Gord's had given him a huge bag of new (huge) potatoes he had just dug up from his garden, so I saved those for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, these monsters had 100 "eyes" in each potato. Well, "lordyluvaspud" I was picking, poking the eyes out of these things for hours, or maybe it just seemed that way. Good thing I had long nail on my get into the craters. Anywho. I only have one big pot for that amount of potatoes, when I realize that step #2 need the same size pot. Just a note: I have a Jen Air stove that only has two burners and they don't both fit on the stove at the same time. So, I had to wait for the potatoes to get done. All finished. Drained, butter, milk, added, and I mashed them (really hard)..cause I was getting jest a little edgy by now. Stuck them in a casserole dish and set them aside until they cooled. It was now 1:00 PM

#2. Sweet Potato casserole - I wanted to throw a little US dish in my typical Canadian fare. Never made it before in my life. I started to peel them, and hey, that was much better than the Canadian counterpart potatoes, they peeled like a dream. BUT, how do you slice them? With an axe? Or a chainsaw? Those babies were like a wood stump, I swear. My hands were already so sore from getting all the eyes out of the potatoes, I did not have the energy to cut them up!!! Finally I remember I had one of those big chopping knives I had ordered from K-Tel a hundred years ago, and decided to do some "chop" "chop" with this pretty boy. I donned my Kung Fu garb..put the yams on my chopping block, picked up the knife over my head and hammered it down...job done. But of course, now you have to find them, they scattered into another room. The dog found them, but before she could partake, I picked them up, rinsed them, and tried again, because they we only in half, and I had get them into small pieces for the pot. I struggled for half an hour. Got them in the pot. Got them all boiled up, they looked kind of funny, being orange and all. Strained them, and mashed em. Then got out my recipe, and followed the instructions. HOW MUCH BUTTER DO YOU USE IN THE USA?...lordyloveayam...eggs, butter, more butter for the topping, and looked decadent, but good. I put it aside, because Turkey Lurkey was in the oven, and he wasn't moving for nuttin. Okay, that's two dished on hold. Now it is 2:00 PM

#3. Salad: My mom always make a very special salad we all loved at Xmas or Thanksgiving...which involved "chopping" of more stuff. I chopped and chopped, and chopped. My choppers were weary. Then of course it had a home-made I dressed and I dressed and I dressed. All done, I stuck it in the fridge, along with the potatoes and the sweet potatoes. All was cool. Now it was 2:30PM

#4. Dressing: I didn't make real dressing...(no time) I just make a batch of stuff you get from the grocery store..stove top wild rice stuff...but I added my own touch to it. By the time I finished I should have just made it from scratch. I wanted to fool my guests into thinking I had made it myself, and by adding all the extra's it took forfuckingever. Okay. Dressing is done. In the fridge with the rest of the group. Now it was 3:00 PM

#5. Party platter...for beforehand...I in my tiny little brain had conjured up visions of platters of fruit and veggies, along with very nice dips to dunk them in. First the fruits. More dicing and slicing, but they weren't as hard as the yams. Strawberry's, cantaloupe,pineapple, apples, and grapes and some other shit (loved the slicing) If I ever do this will ALL I try to be imaginative and put it on a platter....with colour co-ordination..nice and prudy. It pretty well just get shoved wherever!!..and then for my home-made dip...yes internet...I was all about homemade, and I must have had a serious drug problem last week when I made up the menu. Now I had that to contend with my bad choices.

Ohhh, my aching body. Oh no, I didn't stop there, I had to make a Veggie Platter as well, nothing is to good for balonie...not nuthin....chop chop...and chop...I am an asshole for the record!! Now, another dressing...well Kraft helped my out there. I can't believe what I did as I am writing this. It's 3:30, and the turkey is still in the oven just ready to come out ( I wanted to make it ahead of time so when everyone comes over it's not such a hassle)..yeah rite. So, Turkey Lurkey, is removed from it's kiln, cooled...only slightly, because of time restraints...and carved, put into platters and refrigerated. Now my fingers are not only bent out of shape from removing 100 potato eyes, etc. they are burned by carving the turkey whilst it's too hot. My oh my. I poured out all the turkey juices into a big container to make the gravy later. Turkey flies back into the fridge. (Can you see how I have saved time)..yess, I be a big time saver huh? My fridge was bulging at the seams...It's now 4:00 PM...I am on target!!

Bring the guests on in...My SIL was making meatballs which is a tradition, and Janis was bringing the dessert....what timesavers they were..LOL ..but I only asked them to bring that, they would have brought anything else...but I thought I was SUPERPERSON.

Oops, forgot to mention setting up of the table, laying out of the napkins, you know, the hard stuff! My house is too small for a "sit" down dinner with so many people, so it was buffet style. There were many more things....but alas I have lost track.

But, after all the stress, and everyone arrived, I started to relax. My nephew and wife and kids came in from Kelowna came over first and I got to meet the newest member Chole. Fortunately we had the most wonderful weather, it was beautiful.. That winter storm had made a wreck of our backyard, but Gord got all that cleaned out whilst I was killing potatoes and such inside. After MY GIRLS helped me out with supper we actually sat outside to eat!!! yes it was sooo nice. Like I said before it wasn't a sit down supper, so everyone parked their ass where they wanted too, and my house is plenty big...except for the kitchen. MY GIRLS, helped me with clean up...and then we all sat and talked, and drank and stuff...Fun was had by all.

I had to laugh at the kids...all six girls ranging from 3-12 having such a great time together. I love that cousin stuff. The baby is only a few weeks old (the 7th cousin)..another no participation from her...she slept right thru thanksgiving!!! But she will probably climbing my stairs next year..they all have.

We had a great time out on the deck last night, teasing with the guys, trying to find out why the couldn't make "boys"....all these girls, it's unreal....My nephew Chris has already quit the game..and had a vasc. but Damon my other nephew, might be willing to try once more for a boy. His wife loves kids, so that's not a problem.

I guess I have been going on too long here... but I should say with the help my good friends supper went off without a hitch....(they put a bag over my head)...and ..YES everyone liked it...I didn't kill any one...that's the best food poisoning or such.

The kids were such a treat..Auntie Balonie has a chart on her kitchen wall with all their height measurements from year to year at Xmas...and this year being was first for my nephews Chris's kids. I yelled out to the other's time for measuring.......and all the kids streamed in the kitchen for their was so cute. (they knew the balonie meant business) Then, Uncle Gordon...brought out some fireworks and delighted them another treat...but we almost gave the dog a that a word? well..she was scared... So, all and all it turned out good, but I is one tired little Canuck Chick...but I can't sleep, I tried this afternoon, but didn't happen. Too much shit going on my head.

Just a few pics:

All those little girl critters in a row.

Those damn yams.............

Emerson..tooth fairy just came

Lynnae - the oldest of the cousins (11)..and a sweetie pie.

Mackenna...Spiderman...She's got an attitude going on here. I can't believe this kid, she really, really thinks she is spiderman...her whole world revolves around it, therefore the PJ's she has got on... her Dad was thinking she might be gay...unless there is a there?

Chloe from Vancouver(3)....a Barbie girl...she is so beautiful. My nephew and his wife lived in Costa Rica with the kids until a year ago, and they was telling us, that the locals in the area would always try to touch her head for good luck. She has such a wonderful personality and has no idea how pretty she is.

Jamie (9)..another neice, she is sooo sweet. She is total love with the new baby in the family. She held her for most of the evening. I love her hat.

This is Chloe's sister from Vancouver..Jessica(5) She is the sweetest little thing you could ever meet. She is such a nature lover at her young age. I caught the flash in her glasses..dang...she has the most amazing huge hazel eyes I have ever seen, they just suck you right in. And she too, is missing her two front teeth..

This is the guy responsible...for my nephew Chris from Vancouver..little turd..For some reason he thinks he looks better without hair, dumb-ass. He has such beautiful hair..and he's not even going bald...maybe he anticipating it and trying out the look. He was my fishing buddy for many a year when he was young..He and my other nephew Damon told me last night how much the appreciated the "balonies" efforts to take them fishing every week-end. That was nice.

This is Chris's wife Melody..we call her "Tunes"...mother of Chloe and Jessica..she is such a nice person...and guess what...she is starting to she will my best friend forever!

I was trying to find a pic of Damon..that is him in the background, when he was letting his daughter Emerson pour herself a rum and coke at the bar LOL...

This is Jennifer, wife of Damon and mother of that little new baby we saw in the first picture...our new addition to the family ...little Tarlyn.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

It's always about the weather isn't it?

Well, it finally stopped snowing this morning. My "big horking van" was laden with heavy snow." Snow that had so much moisture in it you could have made a snowman in about three minutes. It's good for that when it all sticks together. When we get the dry cold...snowmen don't have a chance..they are just snowdust, with a carrot on the ground.

This was so unusual, I fear for what the rest of winter will bring. Good news is some of my plants outside survived. Mind you, they have taken a beating, and I can't believe the perennials around the pond were perky, after the sun came out today for awhile and took the snow off of them, but they are pretty hardy. Even some of my annuals that were covered with snow this morning, are doing fine. I guess the temp didn't go down far enough to kill them. It's funny, you would think a delicate little flower laden with snow would freeze up when it's covered with snow!!

So, now on to the weekend..THANKSGIVING (CANADA)weekend. I just got a call from Gord that he and his sister have met our nephew Chris and family at the airport. The family will all be together..

Where do you ask? hmmmm I whisper... at my house..7 children, 12 adults for dinner. Auntie Balonie is mighty worried, can she pull this off? I do the dinners at Christmas..but not with quite so many people and kids...can I do it again? I don't know. I was really hoping for better weather so the kid's could go outside, but I don't think that will be an option.

If I can pull this off, it will be a miracle. We have kids with peanut allergies, and a few vegetarians in the group...oy vey.... Hey, where all the good old days when everyone ate what was served them...where are they?...dagnabit.

So, it should be interesting., I have a people bringing stuff too, so that will lighten the load.

I have been looking for different recipes lately, just to make it more interesting, but I think I should just stick to what everyone is expecting. I would really like to taste a "sweet potato" pie or casserole I always hear people in the states talking about. I have never made it, but it seems a staple in the US.

A customer of Gord's just dug up his potatoes from the garden and gave us a whole bunch, so I will have nice fresh spuds for mashed taters on Sunday. Hippy girlfriend is making the dessert...and she is so talented along with her daughter who is a it should be good. But, I just remembered, I forgot to tell them about the nut allergies, etc...

Well, time to gear's gonna be a rocky road...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


This is what it looks like outside my office. Sheeeit. The wind must be about 70mph and the whole building is creaking. I had to lock the front door, because the wind kept opening it and setting off the alarm. Unfunckingbelievable.

Just the day before yesterday I was sitting out on the deck! By Jimminie Cricket, I hope the snow melts. I am sure it will. This was some freaky storm that came out of Colorado USA (boo) mericans ...keep your weather on the other side of the border..K? Balonie. I can take a joke, but this sucks very large onions.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Brrrr's cold out here

Snow has been predicted for tomorrow. So what! you might say, well then you interneters can "blow it out your ass." Balonie is not impressed..uh uh. You see I am still..STILL..driving the big horking conversion van, suitable only to those retired old farts who want to go to Arizona and play cards, and swat flies. Conversion vans are not icy road friendly...they like dry road filled with cacti and such.

Why did we buy it? I have no idea, we must have been drunk. It's bad enough to be 60, and worse being seen driving a conversion van. Everywhere I drive, I see the look in the other motorists eyes.."hey, a snowbird"... "they should be leaving for Arizona anytime soon." They don't even fucking cut me off. I am treated with respect. None of which I deserve. None. Maybe I should open the windows and crank the speakers up, and play a ABBA CD..LOL..and then they will know I'm cool. Maybe not. Well, I still have Hendrix.

This here getting old stuff is wearing on my last nerve.. where are my old bell bottoms, my tye dye shirts, most of all my - no fear attitude!! I want that back the most. I used to always give my parents a hard time about worrying about every stinking little thing..and look at me now..fudge. I'm gettin weak. Yup, the time's are a changing for me, but only if I let them. Maybe it's because I have a 6 in front of my age instead of a 5, I don't know...But I have decided to live through another decade with an attitude. I already have one, but I intend to givershit..this time round. I don't know why, but some cloud lifted off over my head today and I just felt damn good.

Sixty, schmichky...who gives a whoot in hell. I'm back. I won't dwell on it anymore. Gonzo.

I sure hope Mary Lou, knows, I write these blogs only because she gave me some inspiration to do so about a year ago. If I wouldn't have found her by some circumstance I would never be blogging.

Well, I'm off to start my 60th. year with hope in my heart and shit for brains...let's just see how that all works out!!

And with that..a little ole age humour

Just when you have lost faith in human kindness:

This letter was sent to the principal's office after an
Elementary school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.

An old lady had received a new radio at the lunch as a
door prize, and was writing to say thank you. This story
is a credit to all human kind.

Dear Faculty and Students:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent
Senior Citizens' luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at
an Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed
away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know someone is
thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old
forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio. Before I
received this one, she would never let me listen to hers,
even when she was napping. The other day, her radio fell
off the night stand and broke. It was awful and she was
in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I
said fuck you. Thank you for that opportunity.

Yours truly, Agnes.

Joan: Agnes, that took a lot of guts!!

Agnes: Yes, Joan it did. She is still trying to hear my radio..but since then I got a serious I Pod ..not going to happen.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

The day after the night before

It's finally over. I'm not one to have people fussing over me and being the centre of attention. I don't like it. So, I am breathing a sense of relief. I understand they all want to express their good wishes, but man I find it hard to accept. On Friday night my boss and his wife took us out for supper at Tony Roma's. It was delicious. I have to tell you that my boss and his wife are very devout Christians and like to VISIT. I had visions of VISITING for hours on end after the meal. I gave Gord strick instructions that when we were finished eating...NOT under any circumstance to order coffee, because coffee makes VISITING type people even want to VISIT more. Mennonites love to visit and do small talk for hours on end. Dinner went off with out a hitch. We were all so stuffed as my boss ordered two different appetizers, so by the time the entree arrived, it was a little hard getting it all down. The server had just finished carrying our "bone laden" rib plates away, and came back in a few moments and asked ...the question.."does anyone want coffee and dessert?" My boss said NO..his wife said NO..I said NO, guess who said YES...just friggin guess...fortheloveofariblet...I don't know how much clearer I could have made it, but Gord said YES! I kicked his leg so hard, I am sure he still has a bruise. Sometimes I just want to take one my dog's chew bones..and gnaw on it. You know what I mean.

We got home remarkably early..10:00PM or so. The night was but yet a pup, so we sat outside on the deck and had a few drinks and shot the shit. I apologized for kicking so hard, but I said...what part of having coffee after dinner..didn't you hear?" he was clueless, and just said all I wanted was a cup of coffee..sue me!! He unlike me likes to talk everyone's head off, and just had more to say..and say!..groan. Next morning we had an appointment with the bank to renegotiate our mortgage at 11:00 AM. Being the lazy asses we are, we woke up at 10:00 and had to start hustling. I had a million things to do, clean the house, get groceries etc. as I knew people would be dropping by in the evening.

We made our 11:00AM appointment at the Credit Union with the 'loanarranger' he-he. Gord normally does all the banking stuff, so I don't really know the staff there that well. We were met by this woman, who had obviously been taking "crack"..or perhaps had forgot to put her rice crispies in her breakfast bowl, and just added sugar and milk. I duunoo. PERKY..doesn't describe her..and it's 11:00 in the morning. Gord introduces me to her, and she almost took my arm off shaking my hand in friendship. She seriously wanted to be my best friend and get our money in her bank. We went into her office, and started the negotiations of the mortgage for this year. Gord does negotiations, I look on..bored. Just get to the part where I have to sign, and I want to get the hell out of there. They talk rates, smates...I wait..when do I sign? goes on, it's now feet are starting to twitch, along with my left eye. Finally an interest rate has been reached!! Thank you Lord. I sign all my papers as fast as me finger can go. Yes, it's done I think. No, Gord has more questions to ask about totally unrelated business that I am not involved in. I am pretty sure I had a "tick" happening in other eye, when the "loanarranger" asked if I was bored. HAAA... Jeez, I didn't think it was that obvious!! I apologized and said no, I was not bored, but could I be excused because none of this required my signature and I had to get going. More small talk about my business at hand...groceries...etc. She was still on her "crack" high, and was totally relating to me blah blah...but she already had my signature, so she was willing to let me go. She was still yelling Happy Birthday to I was speeding down the street. Never tell them it's your birthday..never.

The day wore on, I cleaned up the house because I knew my Attitude Adjustment friends were coming over in the evening. I had one huge fear,however that Gord might have set me up and invited hundreds of people to the house. My heart was going thumpitie thump all day. I had made if very clear to him the week before that I just wanted our regular Sat. friends over, and I didn't want any fan hoopla..after all it was just a BDay. Of course the fact that he had coffee the night before when I specifically asked him not to, made me mighty worried. I had visions of him inviting long lost friends, street people etc.

Finally around 6:00PM my girlfriends show up...with cakes and prezzies, and it put my mind to rest..they said they had planned to order in ribs from Tony Roma's, but seeing as my boss took me out, it was just going to be a Sat. night as usual. Yessss!! A bit later Gord and his bro came back from their motorcycle ride, which they do every Sat. afternoon, and we settled in to our normal routine.

Gord, didn't buy me the laptop, which I knew he wouldn't, but he bought me a 6-49 lottery ticket with Dell written all over it!! No Luck. BUT..I did get my new and improved computer chair. He said I would have to go to Office Depot and pick one that fits my tushie...that's important in a chair methinks..and I will do that tomorrow..I was happy. Sheila got me covers for my new lawn chairs I bought this summer. Now, if it rains I won't have to take them off and dry them out for two days!! Lovely..just what I needed. She must have heard me bitching about that, and kept it in mind. Janis got me a wonderful ornament type thing to hang in a tree, and it spins around and around in the wind. It's beautiful, and has a blue crystal ball in it. She also baked an awesome cake for me.. it was great.

We all had drinks and snacks...and a lot of joking about my advanced age. I was about to cut up the cake and serve it, when there was a knock at the door and it was my neice LISA!! I never expected her!! She is my brother's (who is sick) daughter. I don't know what happened, but I just started to cry. I guess all the tension I have been feeling about him, just came out. She calmed me down, we had cake, and partied on. She is only 19 for heavens sake, and she's patting the ole auntie on the back. I guess at her age, even if her dad is sick, she doesn't know or think about the inventiable...God love her. I smootched her up and down.

So, that was my 60th birthday...and I don't want to think about it again. At least the age part. I have been having such weird thoughts about my mortality lately, sometimes it paralizes me. But, I think with the new computer chair, things can only get better. I can go UP..and DOWN.. anytime I want...I plan on going UP...and getting the bad thoughts out of my head. Poor Gord, after everyone left last night, he asked me what was wrong. I never have had PMS..nor do I ever show my this was new to him.. I could tell he was a little scared. I explained, that the thought of my brother dying was more than I could handle, because then I wouldn't have any family other than his wife and kids, and it was scarey. So he ordered me my fav pizza...that's how I know he loves me..LOL...and he cleaned up the house after everyone left...and did I mention the 12 roses he gave me... that all makes up for the coffee incident.

Here is a few pic's of the days events..none with me in them, but my SIL took some, so I will post those next time round.

My next door neighbour Trish came over and brought me some lovely Autumn flowers

Gord serving Champagne with a dirty little dish rag on his arm..lord

BDay cake

12 Red Roses for a blue lady...from Gordon

Spiral thing I got from's awesome when the wind gets it going

Chair covers from SIL