Apparently Brad Pitt is in the "Peg." The media is going ga-ga. He is making a Jessie James kinda movie, in our downtown exchange district. Half of the area looks like an old duster movie set... You sort of expect "Festest" (don't quote me on the spelling)..to come running out and yellin "Mr. Dillon Mr. Dillon, there's been another killin."
Brad, Brad, you have got this town turned upside down. I have even heard that you have waved at a few fans. That was a nice gesture, as you came out the most expensive restaurant in our town. Good on you. I am sure they will keep the DNA from the spit that was drooling out their mouths as evidence that they did at one time get within 50 feet from you. You should be proud. The foolish media, who are fucktards BTW...keep telling us...oh..he looks so much shorter in real life than on the screen......do I friggin care?
You know, if Brad decided to come to my house right now for a chat with balonie, I would treat him like a ordinary person. I would invite him in for some of my homemade wine, make a beef jerky snack, and we would a conversation:
Balonie: Brad..I will be your love slave...okay, I am just making that up. I would have to be honest with him and tell him I have only seen one of his movies, and that was part 2 of Titanic...(we screwed up part one on our old VCR) but I was very impressed with part 2. And that would be it. I haven't seen any of his movies. Nadda. I only know what has been said about him thru the media. I know, the internet is frowning, and thinking that balonie might be a little out of touch. Depends what you mean by out of touch. I am not a big movie buff. Movies take two hours, I only have the attention span of an ant. So, that makes it a little hard for me to sit down in one place that long. Anyway, I digress. I'ts always about me, isn't it...fudge..
Brad: Balonie...whoa...beef jerky and homemade wine..."you rock"...
Balonie: Bradley, cool yer heels, we are jest having a little snack, don't go be getting all crazy and all.
Bradley: Glad you got to watch part 2 of Titanic...I guess then you knew it sank.
Joan: Yes, Bradley, I did. It might be time for you to go back home.