Friday, March 30, 2007

Stonkings

When I was a wee ornery kid of perhaps six years old, I could not pronounce stockings. I always said, "stonkings." Stockings were a very important part of my life in those days, because you had to wear them in winter to keep warm. I can't remember how I kept them up, but it probably involved some jar rings we used for canning. I'm surprised we didn't cut off our circulation and croaked!

I was thinking about that today for no apparent reason. Once I remembered that, I was on a roll. I remember what a hoot my mom got out of me calling them "stonkings." Apparently, I was her cutest and funniest first child. I remember going to grandma and grandpa's house with all the aunties and uncles, cousins and cats, and mom would ask me to say "stockings." And, when I would say "stonkings" they laughed so hard, I thought I might send in my resume to Saturday Night Live. Opps, that might be a lie, because at that time all we could get on TV was Wrestling, The Lone Ranger and Ed Sullivan, and now that I think of it..when I was that age there was no TV. Just books and your imagination.

Back to the Stonkings. I love skating. Our town was going to have a carnival at my skating rink, and we were all supposed to dress up in a costume and skate around and the person with the best skating and costume would win a bag of peanuts, or something just as grand.

My mom made me a "Little Bow Peep Costume"... She took a pair of old my stonkings. And cut them up in long strips of three and made braids out of them and put sewed them into a cap. I had braids down to my ass. I don't think I have ever been so excited in my life. I always wanted to have braids, but she always kept my hair short. eg. I screamed and cried when someone tried to comb my hair or try to cuddle me..God, I was a such a whiner.
She also sewed a dress for me. Actually it was an old one but she added some length to it so it was longer, and Dad made a cane from a tree branch. There I was..Little Bow Peep! Looking to find some sheep.

When it came my turn to skate down the ice, with my stonking braids flying in the wind I was the in my glory, I didn't care if I won or lost, I had my braids! I skated with so much confidence and when people clapped, I skated harder just so my braids could keep up with me. I didn't win, but we all got a bag of peanuts anyway.

I wore that braid cap for many a year. Finally Mom said, you look stupid, you are 18 years old...get over it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Is it me?

It looks like what I had to say yesterday was so important,that I had to post it twice. I don't get it. Blogger gobbled up my Monday post and doubled up my Tuesday post. There is bloggershit in the air. I can smell it. Arseholes. So, I ask myself, "what do they want, their money back"? ummmm, no... I just want perfect service FOR NOTHING!! I have become a witchy bitch.

But, I have become something else as well, a lousy cook. Okay youse guys, try cooking with only a minimum amount of salt and fat OMG. I spend more time reading labels than I do making sure I have clean underwear on my bum.

Have you ever read the labels on all the stuff we purchase? It's mind boggling. I have caught on to much of it already, but every manufacturer has a different take on how much of what they put on what the label represents. I can buy a can of tomatoes for example, and one manufacture will put the salt content in "as per 2 tsp" and the other will put it in as 1/3 a cup." and rest will fuck you up with grams and mg's until you want to take that can and throw it at somebody who looks like mangement. So, how can you figure it out? Some of them are very tricky, and when you think you are buying something good for you, you see that you can only have a "lick of the spoon".. for all the salt content in the product.

I guess it's all about trying to make what's good for us from scratch. But, as a still working 61 year old, that is very tiring, and the industry knows it, and they know the younger generation who are stressed out having kids and jobs etc. need a fast way to make supper. Therefore poor choices. For them and their children.

I have always been aware of fat content in anything I buy, but I was very neglegent with the salt content until now. I didn't realize Gord had high blood pressure, until the INCIDENT, and salt is a bummer in his case. He of course was his worst enemy with his eating habits during the day...but I guess even if I would have made low salt meals at home it would still have happened. Hippychick, tells me over and over not to blame myself, but I do. I love to kick my own ass!!

BTW... I just checked and I have two of the same posts again ... huh? I had to delete the second one.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

hmmmmm

I published a post yesterday, and it's nowhere to be seen.

Who took it?

Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.

Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.

I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.

hmmmmm

I published a post yesterday, and it's nowhere to be seen.

Who took it?

Was I drunk?...I don't think so. Maybe I was, because I can't remember what I wrote! Yes, I remember, and I woke up this morning thinking it was a little smutty. Sometimes the smutbucket in me is hard to contain.

Nothing is going right here, well I shouldn't say that so fast because I was so tired of my fish tank, ...so my last fish has met his maker. All is left to do is to "fish" him out of the tank and put him to rest. An era is finally over. I loves dem fishies guys, but the last ten years have become strained, when some of them got so got so big I was scared of them. The maintenance, and constant monitoring is something I will not miss. But I will miss this little last guy, he was surviour.

I finally got out into the back 40 today. With my big barn boots on. What a mess. I found a place to play with Penny that was not frought with dog shit, broken tree branches, standing water and general gunkeness. Penny was finally happy I could manage the outdoors without doing a faceplant in a snowbank, and we played till she dropped. She almost fell in the pond. I forgot it was there because it was still covered with snow, but melted underneath. Once I saw the stones surrounding it I realized..opps we don't wanna go there. We are getting the maintenace company from our shop to clean it all up this year. I will just sit back at the patio table on the deck, with my laptop and a nice crisp glass of white wine and watch.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The worst is over

You see, the water is coming in the rec room from a cement wall that is right beside the garage and goes down to the lower level. It's hard to describe in a house like ours. When we took all the dry wall off we could see a fine crack coming from the garage right down to the basement. I fought Gord about opening the wall last year and this year, because it would wreck everything in the rec room. So, he thought all his efforts in sloping the patio etc. would alleviate most of the problems. It did not.

I cringed, when he started sawing the wall apart. OMG, because we want to sell the house in a year or so, and we aren't carpenters able to fix it by any means!! But, there it was plain as day, THE CRACK that has plagued us for so long. We did actually get some sleep last night. When he came home, he repatched the entire area, and we only got up twice to vac it out and spin dry the towels. It's not half as bad as it was last year, because we know where it's coming from and have done something to curb it.

So, I am going to phone our insurance agent tomorrow, to see if we are covered for this. Probably not, knowing insurance companies. A lot of the floor tiles have loosened and come apart, and now the wall is screwed. Last year our carpet in the main area was soaked, but we managed to save it, but this year it looks a little wilted from all the water last year. Who knows. It's not like we ever go down there, I can't stand to be in a room without windows, so I never made use of the area. We have some old crap down there, but I got rid most of it last year. It's pretty bare bones, especially when you never know what spring might bring.

Yesterday I wrote, we had a 3 level split, I meant a 4 level split. I can hardly walk today, from all the exercise, it felt like I had really good sex without the fun. Gord and I were up to our asses in cement filler..soooo it didn't happen. We had it in our face, hair, clothes, floor, dog and probably in our private parts... by the time we were finished. Everything was shut up tight. You can't be too careful, can you? Anyway I won't have a miracle baby, because I was cemented shut. Like we actually had the energy for that last night..heh...

I got to make one more trip down in the hole tonight before we go to bed, and we should be good until the morn.

I was bitchy last night, but I made a really good pot roast, now we are having stew, with a surprise! Let's see how "Mikey likes that?"...the surprise if is...guess?

Balonie...she is evil!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I spoke to soon.

The water started to rush in this morning, with a vengence. I have been down there on the half hour, with the shop vac cleaning it out. Fuck!

Gord decided to take the gyp rock off the wall, and we saw a huge crack in the cement along side of it. That is where it has been coming from all the time. Spring run off is in high gear right now, so if the last three years were an indication, we won't be getting much sleep this week! We tried to repair it with a cement mixture that would tolerate water, but it hasn't seemed to stem the flow. I have about 30 towels on the floor, just so I can get a break, and then go back down and put them in a bucket, take them to the washer to spin the water out, and start all over again. Then I had to get my laundry done in between that...awwww. I am more than exhaused. The basement is three floors down. Don't ever buy a three level split house. Ever.

I don't want Gord to be stressed over this, so I am trying do more than my share, so he doesn't worry too much. I will sleep in the guest bedroom downstairs, so I can get up every two hours or so and run down to vac the shit out. Fuck! oh, did I say that already?

Sunday night supper: who gives a crap!

Update tomorrow!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Sure signs of spring

** It's raining

** The geese are flocking

** Masses of dog shit that are heaving in the back yard and destroying the ozone layer.

** Poor dead little birds under my window on the deck who thought that it was the stairway to heaven.

** My creepy neighbour who emerged, looking as creepy as he did last year.

** Snowbanks that look like they need a good scrubbing. All the dirt is just disgusting.

** Melting snowpersons. The neighbours SP just lost his nose, I saw the carrot on the ground. But by the next day it was gone. The bunnies got it. Don't you just love recycling?

** Penny. She has shifted into spring mode. All she wants to do is play outside, but the backyard is still a sorry mess, and I can't get out there until all the snow melts. Unless I want to sink up to my ass in the soft snow, shit, broken branches, and misc. obnoxious crap that has accumulated over this stinking winter.

** I mentioned the crows before. I think they found me. I threw a rock at them. Bastards.

** I'm just waiting for the basement to flood again like last year. You all remember Gord reshoring our patio blocks last summer, so it wouldn't happen again. Let's cross our fingers he did it right and sloped them all down the right way. I'm surprised he didn't have AN INCIDENT last summer, because it was a huge job.

I'm just loving listening to the the soft rain. This spring more than most. I have taken so much for granted over the years, and sweated the small stuff. Change is hard, but yet so easy when you put it all in perspective.

Gord and I have been having breakfast, lunch and supper together ever since THE INCIDENT, and today he wanted "off the leash". He is getting a little sick of my low cal food. When he got to the shop this morning, he said he was going to go to the family restaurant next door and have his usual Friday Bacon and eggs. I looked at him, and said, "I can't stop you"...but you know it's not the right thing to do. He hemmed and hawwed...and said "can't I have it just once a month"? I said, yeah, but the month ain't up yet since you had THE INCIDENT. So, he went back into his office and did some work, and came back an hour later eating an orange. He had changed his mind. Yes, I know it was a guilt trip, but he loves fast food (hamburgers) way too much. I asked him later, if he was coming home for lunch, and he said no, because he had a call that would take him over the lunch hour. I said that was okay, he could just come home and have some left over Chili and toast.

Around 4:00 PM when he came back to the shop, he said he had gone to Tim Hortons for lunch and had a bowl of Chili and a whole wheat bun and a coffee. He was almost looking down at his feet as he was telling me this...poor guy. He didn't fail. It's better than eating hamburgers!!

What I don't understand is that I had a huge batch of chili in the fridge I had made on Wednesay, and he didn't like it. He said it didn't have any "taste." Well, the only thing I am doing diffently now, is I am using "no salt" tomatoes. He prides himself in never using salt at the table, welll...yeah....I never put salt in my recipes either, but all the crap I use to make has it has so much salt in it, it could kill a crow. He is missing the salt...and that is why he enjoyed the chili from Tim Hortons. No, I think that is a lie.

He just wanted some freedom, and make his own choices. It's a fine line I lead. It's only been a month, so we will have our ups and downs, but we will work this shit out.

Have a good weekend....hey..did you see the new template..surprise!!! balonie made it, she is worse than salt, she rules me.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The geese have returned........

All is well. maybe not, so have the crows. You know, if I hear one more of those sumabitches "cawing" on my tree outside on the deck, I'm going to buy a pistol. And not one of those that has a flag popping out when you pull the trigger. I'm buying me a heavy duty machine gun. I know, we have gun controls in Canada, but who would miss a crow? rat a tat tat.

I know what I did last spring is going to come and bite me on my ass. I saved a nest of almost full grown crow babies from dying. Something must have happened to the crowmother, and then the crowfather was in charge. As it is with most men, he was totally useless without crowmother. All he did was "caw" for her over...and over again... saying .."bring the kids some food, clean up the nest you pig, and give me some lovin tonight". Crowmother, probably had a restraining order against him, because he took off the next day, and left the fledglings on their own. And she probably flew to Florida, to find herself a rich sugar daddy crow. Maternal instincts are not present in all of our fine feathered friends.

So, I started feeding them dog food. They could fly from the tree the the fence, and everyday I would put out dry dog food on the the ledge of the fence, and everyday it would be gone when I got home!! And at night they would be back in the nest, crying for crowmother and crowshitheaddad. I sat on the deck many a night talking to them, and trying to console them, and some them actually, flew into the tree directly by the deck to listen to me. I did that for a few weeks, and finally they took off by themselves. Actually crows are very smart. I think I mentioned this way back...that Gord had a crow that they found abandoned when he was just a kid. He was the smartest little thing you ever saw. Too bad some lady in town didn't like him taking the clothes pins off her wash line and dropping her clothes in the mud!! He was mischievious!! He loved everything "silver" and hid all Gord's dad's tools in the shop in the rafters!! Joe, the crow!! He was cool.

So, I'm thinking most birds come back to where they were born to nest, and maybe I'll see those loud mouth buggers again. Maybe they will remember me. I was sort of a mother figure. heh..

Monday, March 19, 2007

You know the the snowballs I threw yesterday?

WELL, it screwed up my knee. It hurts like a bitch. I must of leaned on it in the wet snow to get some leaverage, and hurt the damn thing. I found out later, it didn't do any good anyway, the satellite signal was out, not my iced up dish. Dumbass balonie was giving me all the wrong signals. I hate her. She probably screwed up my carrot cake muffins. She's been messing with my head all weekend.

I had to laugh the other day, our nephew Chris called from British Columbia to see how his Uncle Gordie was doing, and when I answered he said "Hi Balonie"...awwwww ..he gave me the name. I had almost forgotten that.

Well, those lazy man's cabbage rolls, sure kept me "regular." I could have shit through the eye of a needle this morning. It's all with the cabbage.

Maybe I should change the name of my blog, to "It's Always About the Bowel Movement."

I'm sure you would be flocking over here to see my next one.

We are have pork tenderloins tonight...with salad and and good attitude.:)

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Baking crap and no TV makes for a sad balonie

It's been a quite day. No TV! We have had been getting rain mixed with snow, and it all stuck to our "thing of a ma jig" ..hmmm "dish" on the roof. I tried throwing wet snowballs at it to get the snow off, and damn near put my arm out. I must have thrown 20 balls up there, and missed 15 times, and the other five didn't do much good. I gotta get into shape, I'll never make the major leagues at this rate.

I got up early this morn because I knew it was time to start putting our tax stuff together for the end of April. I spent all day doing bookwork, and got a few days left to complete it all. I have to get better organized, so I don't always get so stressed at the last moment.

We are still on "save Gord from himself" while eating smarter. He has been excellent and hardly wrinkles his big nose at my food preps anymore. Except yesterday, when I made fresh salmon with wild rice. It was great!! I love it. But, if fish tastes "fishy" it's all over for him! I ususally bake Basa or other mild fish which he can tolerate, but he didn't like this one. Gawwwd it was so delcious. So, I guess I will have to cook up the rest of the fillets for myself. His loss. I have been doing a lot of experimenting lately with our diet, and of course some is good and some is not so good (don't get me started on my first try at muffins). I know all the in's and out's of eating smarter. I cook that way at home anyway, but his horrible habits of eating cheeseburgers, everyday, plus having a huge bag of chips at this side in the truck did nothing but make him fatter and fatter, and cancelled out what was happening at home.

We had this all under control 10 years ago, but it went to hell for him. I, don't like fast food anyway, but I know I was eating way to much pasta, cheese etc. at home when he wasn't there. God I love spagetti. And the pizza's on Friday were both our downfall.

So today for lunch I surprised him, we got up late and only had a muffin and coffee for breakfast. I made Turkey Bacon sandwiches! By god it's good, Mikey even liked it. We had Turkey Bacon, tomato and "Egg Creations" sandwiches. The Egg Creations come in a pint sized jug .. and they are only egg whites with some kind of yellow colouring, but hey,they are good when all compressed in two pieces of toast along with fake bacon, fake mayo and real tomatoes. We were smiling.

Tonites supper IS: Lazy Man's Cabbage Rolls. Just like in the day. It's got all the good stuff in it, I just make sure the hamburger is very lean. I still make all my old favorites, but keep the fat to minium. You shouldn't have to change every damn thing, because then you loose your will to want to get to your goal weight. I make sure we always have something on hand that is satisfying.

So...have a gander...




Excuse the dishes under the cutting board, that is where I hide them if the dishwasher if full. I think someone should cut off my hands for being such a bad housewife. No...cut off my ...nevermind I'm getting a little punchy. Time for Lazy Man's

Yummy Banana and blueberry muffins. You don't wont know what I did to my first batch of muffins, I must have been on some mind altering drugs, but they tasted like sawdust. I got the recipe from stupid book I bought at Safeway. I think I was still in shock and was very vunerable ...I'm over that now. The day after I made them I left a banana and a one of my wonderful um muffins for Gord on the table for breakfast, so he could have them with his coffee, and he phoned me at work and asked me if I was trying to kill him!! I think it was the shredded carrots in there that really took the "muff" out of muffins. Crappola my friends... I think I probably didn't shred them fine enough and they were "a little burnt' and stuck up his nose. I have never been good at baking. So this is my first trip down this road. I'm good at pies, but....I don't think I'll be making them anytime soon.

See you all soon...be well.



Where is my mom when I need her?

She must of just heard me...my TV just came back on...thanks Mom!!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Just a note to my blogging friends

I took all your wise advise, and told the telemarketers to take us off their phone list, since then, the phone has been silent. It's a little scary. I have to pick up the phone every now and again to make sure it working. Finally, I have some peace. I know the CRTC here in Canada are going to come down on them very soon, so maybe they are backing off. It was a living hell. We had at least 4 a night and when I came home for lunch during the day, I would be answering the phone at least twice in that hour.

So, thanks for all your advise, I appreciate it.

I made homemade whole grain pizza buns for supper tonight. I know it's getting old for Gord, but I made them a little different than I did the last two weeks, today I put them in a new pan. HA, it's different, isn't it??????????? Same shit, different pan. Hey, I like them!! Get used it it buddy! It's really hard getting low sodium pepperoni. I don't think God has invented that yet. I thought of boiling it, then sitting on it for about an hour to get the salt out of it. But, I didn't want to pucker up my ASS. That is the only firm part of my body!!! The highlight of the evening will be with the fat free, sugar free ice-cream/with a banana. I might make a smoothy with it in the blender to make it taste better.

Recipes...anyone?

Till Sunday supper...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

More whining

All is well at Chez Martin.

I almost felt good enough today to change my template. I had an itch. But my boss came back too soon from his meeting, and screwed me up. So I will wait until the weekend and see if the "itch" is still there.

I have lost 15 pounds since Christmas!! I didn't realize it until I bought a scale on Saturday. I weighed myself at a friends house during the holidays and knew how much I weighed, and when I bought the scale on Saturday, I was shocked. But, now that I think of it my pants were falling off me bones, and I never much paid attention. I gain weight in my upper body first, and my skinny ass and legs never get the puffy stuff to match the rest of my body, therefore making me look like ummm much larger on top than the bottom. It's hard to describe. Try Lollypop. So as of today I am 150 lbs. My goal is 140. I have been down to 135 before, but I look a little weasel like then. We will see.

Tomorrow Gord and I are going out for his first fast food adventure since the INCIDENT. So, far he has been coming home for my low cal lunches. We will be going to Subway. He has been fast fooding it for so many years and I know he misses it. So, to ease his mind from only eating my low cal, salt free menu, we will actually get someone else to "bring it on." 1/2 a sub..only. (on whole wheat) Because I will be present and kick his ass if orders more. And if he has a melt down, shucks, I will bring along a nice little fruit cup we can have for dessert. HAA

awwwwwwwwwwwww this is so hard.

But, this too shall pass.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

It was American Idol or blogging

I chose blogging. It's on in the background, but I keep swivelling my head to watch the TV...and it's starting to hurt.

Oh...what was I saying... Hi!

Things are going very well around here. It's amazing how much has changed. Diet, attitudes and some kind words. I took a long look at myself, and how I approached every crossroad in our lives. Before it only took a few minutes after he walked into the house after work, and brought home the days paperwork, and he would ask me a question .."if this was paid" or something like that...and I would fly off the handle. I was just tired after a long days work ...just wanted to sit in front of the computer and blog a bit before supper with no stress. But, what I forgot, he had just come off a long day of his own and maybe wanted to talk about stuff, and not see the back of my head while I was typing.

We are both to blame for getting on each other nerves, we are so used to treating each other with a little disdain when things get rough. I had forgotten how to be kind, and loving. For a long time. You get into a pattern, and it escalates. I did my thing, he did his. And I knew a long time ago this was wrong, but I didn't do much about it. I realize I am not totally responsible for his condition, but I ignored much of it. Time lost. Things have been so much different, when I don't get all crazy over anything he proposes or thinks about. My hyperness certainly has had an effect on him. I have to realize I was not the only problem, all his friends and family always came to him for help; for fixing appliances for NOTHING, or just support, and he was always there to help. I think sometimes, I was jealous, he spent more time with them, than with me..and I started to shut him out.

I am working on it. We will fix this together. I have held my head in the sand way too long.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Chucking out the old..bringing in the new.

Well, it's Sunday night and I am armed with a glass of wine, a few smokes, mild weather and a good attitude.

Thanks to all of you who commented again. I will use that information whenever someone calls again. We must be on every list in the world. The phone starts to ring the minute I get home until 9:00PM.

The pot roast in bubbling on the oven as we speak, along with baked taters, and a mixed veggie medley. Gord will be very happy. My extreme low cal dinners are getting him down. I have to realize if he doesn't get some normal food, his diet will fail. I have always cooked low fat etc. but after what happened I think I went a little berserk, and denied him EVERYTHING!! What's wrong with having a banana for supper? What do you mean you can't find any meat in your sandwich?...can't you see the two teaspoons of salmon I put on it underneath the head of lettuce and two pounds of tomatoes? If I keep doing this I will set him up for failure, so now I am going to relax a bit, and everything will be in moderation, not fear. We both have lost 10 lbs. since THE INCIDENT. I'm not ready to say the H.A. word yet. Last night we were talking, and he said he hasn't felt this well for years. So, the med's are working. We have a blood pressure monitor at home, and he takes it twice a day and we keep a running record and it has been "right on" all the time. So, that is comforting. I can sleep at night.

It is surprising how much this mild weather has made me relax a bit. And I thought I would hate the daylight savings time change, but I don't, it's nice to have a sunny house for a few more hours in the evening. I guess I will know just how much I love it tomorrow when I get up in the morning and it will still be dark..grrrrr.

I just realized I cut my King Ludwig story short. I'm betting you were are holding your breath waiting for the next episode heh...Luddy was a bit of a "douche magnet" as I found out later. He wasn't holding court with all those that had his best interests at heart. (I have typed douche in two entries in a row) I must be getting back to my ole self. Or balonie is lurking. I have decided he was a boring King, and I'm going to oust him from my blog kingdom and find someone who's moat I wouldn't mind crossing.

I've been having a bit a struggle with the new guy my boss hired in the office. I'm used to being the only person there when he is away, which is often. Now, I am dealing with a whiner who has been freshly separated with his wife and three children, who wants to TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! I MEAN ALL THE TIME. He is a forty year old man in child's clothing. I try to ignore him, when he sidles up to my desk and tries to get a conversation going that eventually leads it up to his problems. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to get involved. I am sure my boss hired him because they go to the same church, and he felt sorry for him. He is a smart guy, but apparently not a smart husband, because she left him, and put a restraining order on him.

I feel bad for ignoring him because I know he has problems, but this is my workplace and got to get shit done. Yesterday he told me if my boss wouldn't have hired him, he probably would have killed himself by now.......... OMG I don't need this information I have enough to deal with at home.

I don't think he ever held a decent job in his life. He has been a student most of sorts most of his life...you know the kind that just go to school so they don't have to work. His wife has been the bread winner with her own business. He has had a dozen mindless jobs and take the summers off to plant trees in British Colombia. He makes his own carrot juice......if he hasn't told me this a thousand times. He is a health food nut, but when the boss brings in donuts, he eats them all. Ahem.

Poor Penny has been ignored a bit in all the excitement these last few weeks. So, I tried to pay more attention to her today, just to make sure she is okay. I took her out for a walk, and had play time in the back yard between loads and loads of laundry that had been piling up. Plus, I made a batch of muffins ..from scratch. I'm not a good baker. They were low fat carrot cake muffins, and low and behold, they turned out to be very tasty. Let's just see if "Mikey" likes them.

Then I decided to clean out all the cabinets in the bathroom. I couldn't be stopped. I needed to clean up shit and throw out shit. I had a garbage bag of stuff after all was said and done. I must have had 30 bottles of shampoo and conditioner that had 1/2 a gram of product left in it, along with expired cold remedies, old mouthwash bottles that looked like someone spit back in it, and at least two different decorator soap, and toothbrush holders from the 80's. There was two dog bowls in there, from when my dog died in 2000. I guess I hid them out of view for some reason. I can't believe I kept all this crap. it wasn't dirty...just cluttered.

Then, the medicine cabinet. There was a bottle of Tylenol 3 sitting there with an expiration date of Nov. 1986. All the old med's get pushed to the back and the new one's went in front, I guess. What a slob. I found a package of hemorrhoid suppositories from 1999. I remember that year, it was painful. Maybe I was keeping all this stuff for posterity? It's like a scrapbook of our lives. There were 5 bottles of Visine. Ummm.. I have no recollection of having eyes problems. A can of some kind of Jock Itch stuff, with about 1/2 a spray left in it. 2 tubes of Polysporin that practically walked out by themselves. A jar of "Vicks" that had a fingerfull left in it. A package of mixed band aids, that only had the large band aids left in it, just in case you got stabbed in the middle of the night. I remember the last time I cut my finger, I had to wear this huge mother band aid till the bleeding stopped. Gawwwd I can't believe I have let things go for so long.

Then came the drawers. Makeup I haven't worn since the 80's were chucked. Dried out mascara, lipstick, old everything. Gone. I feel good, a new start. I already did my closets last week, you would not believe the clothes I have kept. Yes, some were hippyish.

I'm going to start on the basement next week. Then I am going to get the house painted. I just feel this need to get rid of all the old and start fresh.

It takes AN INCIDENT to wake you up.

Have a great week.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hello

I'm afraid all my posts will start to be a little boring. I can't conjure up balonie ...she goes into hiding when times get rough. Douche bag! So, I'm left to my own devices.

I am finally getting back into the swing of things, and exhaling. Gord went for a check up yesterday with our family doctor (who probably got his degree on the Internet)I don't know, that man is so complacent it "unnerves" me...is that a word?

But, he is doing just fine. He just went for a little nap between 7:00-8:00 and 3 fucking telemarketers phoned our house...I am so pissed off, it happens every night and I am constantly answering the phone with absolute bullshit! Phone spam. There has to be a way to stop it. I might just get an unlisted number, because it is so out of hand we don't have a moments peace.

So, let's put this boring post to rest.

:)

Monday, March 05, 2007

He's driving me crazy

But, of course he is running scared and somewhat in denial. I have to realize that. I'm just not going to try to change the things I CANNOT, and leave the rest up to him.

I can't think of a more stressful time in my life. Thank God, for homemade wine.

Once he talks to the doc on Wednesday I think he will have the answers he needs to move on.

But, we had a break through today. I have been nagging him to quit eating nachos, and every unhealthy snack he eats throughout his day... Today, he took his stash out of the van and threw it in the garbage..right in front of me! He said that was enough of that. So, this might be a sign he knows he has to change his habits.

All I can do is hope.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Friday ...lord thankyou

I am exhausted. I will probably sleep through the weekend. Well, my version of sleep has been sleeping "with one eye open." My brain is on constant alert.

Gord went into the office today, and puttered around. There is no keeping him at home I tells ya!! He feels great. But, I don't think the full impact of this has sunk in. He is still in a bit of denial. And, that is where I come in and blow his bullshit theories all to hell. But in a nice way. A couple of days ago he said it must have been something about that "Mountain Dew" he drank before he came home. Ohhhh yeah..Mountain Dew will do that to ya!! But, I guess you search your mind for answers to anything that precipitated the event...but Mountain Dew?? give.me.a.break! He laughed about it later too, saying ..well, I thought about everything I never usually do, and I hadn't had a Mountain Dew for years, until that evening. It's funny how the mind works.

We are having toasted low fat pizza on a bun for supper. Blah, you say....no it's really good. We used to have it all the time, but then I got lazy and start ordering in.

Well, it's time to get the "buns in the oven"..heh...

See you Sunday!!

Balonie...