Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bet you were wondering where I was staying..or not

I have been been "decluttering" my home.

Unfortunately, that meant Gord and the dog had to go...but you have to pay the price. I did give each of them a formal letter stating what my expectations were. Unfortunately for them, it was a little to late.

Okay, I kept both of them, but none of their junk. Nor any of my junk. Nostalgia...I spit in your face. I tired of you always making feel guilty about recycling things people have given me. There is only so much crap you can display in your home. And all the stuff my mom ever gave me for my birthdays, Christmas etc.....I just can't keep it all. It breaks my heart, but I am narrowing it down, and keeping the sweetest stuff. Stuff that really mattered.

It's only Tuesday, and still have miles to go. It's a big house. I started this last year, but I was much too timid. This year I mean it. We will have painters coming in soon, and I want them to be able to paint the walls without all the shit in front of it. It's a real work in process. Everything is being re-arranged..wall units are being moved .... my office has moved...and in the process we are keeping everything off the wall, just enough until the painting is done. Tomorrow the closets.. I can hardly wait it get in there and keep on chucking stuff out. Do you know, we still have Gords first Skidoo suit he wore in 1970? I think I kept it because I was glad he was alive after the crashed the Skidoo...!! Shit like that is what makes me crazy. But when I go into the back bedroom closet with all my mom's stuff in it I feel like crying...and feel like I am betraying her; I still have all her Christmas decorations.....but at Christmas I can't put them up...I take a few that we had at home when we were kids, and the rest were newer stuff I helped her decorate the tree with after Dad died.

I'll leave it to you guys.....do I give all the stuff away? What about the china cups and saucers, German books I can't read, and stacks of cards she had saved forever from her family. Also, I have saved her favorite sweaters with all the flowers on it, T shirts, and a nightgown. I know this might seem a little crazy after 9 years...but I just can't seem to let them go. Oh, let's not forget her lace curtains. Most of the time, I don't even realize I have them, and only when I go through stuff I find them and then the guilt sets in. I think I need to let them go. They only bring me down when I look at them. I just want to remember her, not her stuff. It's not like I am throwing away a family artifact.. it's just stuff. Like mine is right now...just stuff.


Brenda said...

I can't do it, can't let go of things that hold memories. Hell I can't let go of things that don't, but especially memories. When our home burned I found out that you can make any house a home if you have your stuff. Without your stuff, it's just a house.

Joan said...

Point taken. Thanks for your insight.

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

I am so sentimental but i too have reached a point where having all that stuff is cluttering my enjoyment of my home.
You know cluttered house ,cluttered mind,Kind of thing???
Anyhoo,As we slowly get rid of things it has been a burden lifting and been very liberating..
Good luck with the picking and choosing

Joan said...

I am sentimental too, and it breaks my heart to part with stuff, but there comes a time to let go...and you are right, most of this stuff is just cluttering up my mind. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel again, where I know where everything is and I can come home from work knowing I don't have to worry about junk collecting. We are on our way...and I'm liking the lighter load.

JimBob said...

I can help with the clutter in your mind and purse. If you'd remove $5.00 AMERICAN and send it to me, you'd unclutter things!

You do remember the template change don't yah? Just a helpful hint...