Wednesday, June 18, 2008

We have been having a nesting problem

In the last few weeks our bathroom fan wasn't taking out any air...and the humidity levels were rising at an alarming rate, setting off our smoke alarms and making me run out the shower and waving my panties in the air. Not a sight anyone would care to see. A naked older woman waving her panties in the air. But it did happen on more than one occasion, so in order not to scare the dog and Gord in the mornings anymore with my bare ass shaking around the hallway I (we)decided to find the culprit. Our bathroom fan vent is located......waaaaaaaaaaaaay up high outside the house, because who ever built this house was on crack; but if you look at it logically, that is where the bathroom is. We have a vent on the outside of the house, and it has a little flapper in it for the fan to take out all the unbelievable odours we produce in the bathroom, plus the steam from the showers etc.

The birds have figured a way to flip the little vent "thing a ma jig" open with their pointy little beaks and get into the venting. Bastards! I could hear them chirping in there. So, on Sunday when the fan was not taking anything out at all and all the putrid smells kept wafting back into our living quarters......action had to be taken.

Gord got the longest ladder God ever invented and set it up beside the house. He was on a "De nesting" mission. Being who I am, I started nattering. I hate ladders and was scared he was going to fall off of it. We created a small skirmish on the side yard, but I don't think the neighbours heard us.

Joan: Make sure the ladder is seated right in the ground before you climb up it.

Gordon: Yeah, just get me a flashlight, and a broomstick and shut the "f" up.

Joan: Huh? I don't think I will need a flashlight after I stick this broomstick up your ass!

Gord: Just get the stuff, and I will see whats up there.

Joan: Okay, but I don't have a good feeling about this.

Gord: You never do.... just go and GET it...I forgot to mention he was up the ladder facing the vent at this time.

Joan: Here is the flashlight and the broomstick, which would you like first?

Gord: Just throw up the flashlight and I can get the broomstick when you reach it up to me.

I threw up the flashlight and he caught it, and started to peer in the vent hole. It was totally blocked.

Gord: Give me the broomstick..heh...I did, but I didn't put it where I wanted it. Anway. He started poking around and pulled out ... not one, but two nests from the venting. The first nest was an older one, and the last one had eggs in it....awwwwww... and just as he was finishing he saw the mommy bird at the very back of the vent. She must have been sitting on them. I felt so bad, but it had to be done. Everything was plugged up solid. He came back down the ladder with the vent and left the vent hole open until he could fix it and let the little momma bird out.

This morning he came into my office at work (his business is in the same building as mine) and said he had solved the problem, he made three little bars over the vent cover so the birds couldn't get in, yet it would still be functional and let the air out of the house.

So, I thought I would screw with his brain a bit...and said " I have the answer to our problem with birds in our vents". He was all

Take the down the ladder!

Haaaaaaa, I killed myself laughing.. I couldn't stop seeing little birdies climbing the ladder......

I know, I'm sick.

But I'm sad for the Momma bird who lost her nest.

When I came home from work, I could hear a lot of chirping going on in there from the bathroom, word must of spread there was a vacancy. We gotta close that up soon. They don't pay rent.


Donna said...

Awwwww..I'm with You! Poor Momma bird....And I don't think I've Ever seen venting like that...Weird!lol...Try to have a smiling day sweetie! Hopefully Momma bird has flown off to begin again.....hughugs

Brenda said...

She'll be ok, how sweet that he left it open awhile so she could escape.

I'm still laughing about where you wanted to put the broom stick. :-)

Joan said...

Yeah...Brenda..where the sun don't shine.

Joan said...

Donna ..the vent had been taken off ... it was just a hole in the wall. waiting for a new one. We put the new and improved one in today, and I hope those little critters don't get in again.

Anonymous said...

This is priceless...I have laughed so hard reading this..Home Sweet Home!