Sunday, June 13, 2010

Mowed the back 40 with Peanut

And the front yard....without incident ...until I ran over the cord of the electric lawn mower. You see our regular lawn mower is in the garage behind 3,567 boxes Gord brought home from his shop because he is renovating and did not have the foresight to take out. Let's not talk about that okay? So, I had to pull out good ole "peanut"... we've had her since forever, every time one our lawnmowers takes a dump... eg. Jake the Snake ...Peanut comes to the rescue.

This afternoon I was mowing the front yard and both my anal neighbours were sitting out front. Sitting and watching me....just in case I threw a little grass on their driveway. Yes, they pretended to be pulling up weeds and such, but I could feel their eyes on me every step of the way. You see "peanut does not have a grass catcher...so if I have her spout turned in the direction of their driveway she pukes grass all over it. So, I was very careful.

Our front yard looks like a "V" because we are in the middle of a Cul de friggin sac. So no matter what you do you will either get grass on your driveway or the neighbours. I figured out a plan where I wouldn't have to sweep up grass clipping from both our properties. Mind you ... it was not a well thought out plan...but I did have a PLAN. So shut up. And yes you have to make sure the cord is always in the right place..which you will see later was my demise.

I made sure the spout thingie was always away from our driveway for half of the mow...and pointed the other direction for the rest of the mow. See...how easy that was. However, at the end there was a fair amount of grass in the centre of the lawn. I knew this and had a plan 2.

They were still watching me...and I was getting a little nervous. So, I went into the centre of the mess and mulched it all up with a few passes. I was so pleased with myself and decided to do the side of the house that faces theirs and almost completed it...when I fucking ran over the cord of the lawn mower. Yeah, I was showing off my skills...and suddenly the mower was silent....I didn't quite get what happened, once I figured it out I pretended to turn it off...and turned to them and said ...I can't believe why more people don't have electric lawn mowers! I just love them.

They gave me strained smiles.

And once I was on the other side of the house I lowered my sweats...pointed my ass in their direction and quietly told them to kiss my sweaty ass.

Yeah...that's how I roll.

balonie...looking forward to mac and cheese and a pork roast tonite.

5 comments:

Brenda said...

Jake the snake was my favorite of your mowers. He had attitude along with a personality,,,I like that in a mower.

Donna said...

Hahahaa...those pesky neighbors!
Have you decided what YOUR moving day gift to THEM is going to be...Hummmmm??LOL
hughugs

judemiller1 said...

I clipped the electric cord when trimming hedges once--makes you feel like a dumb ass, but then grateful you didn't electrocute yourself, eh?

Grandma K said...

In response to Jude (because it was what I was going to write anyway!), I have cut the hedge shears extension cords at least three times. You would think I would learn. Every time I think I will get it right - yep. You guessed it.

Curtis said...

Probably happy cause the took their meds and they are higher than kites in the afternoon. I ain't never cut the cord on a hedge trimmer cause I ain't got one. Ain't got no hedge neither. See it's afternoon and I've taken my meds or else I would have been more serious about things.