Friday, May 20, 2011

Just another day ...but another day is good.

I wish I didn't have to write my blog everyday with sadness.  I am not always sad.  One of the days I don't visit my brother I am happy.  Which is every second day. I get on with my life.  But one the day I have to go and look at what's happening to him...is very freaking sad. 

Today the entire ICU developed some kind of infection....I had to wear a gown and gloves etc.  and he had a huge rash on his ass.  Something to do with fecal matter....don't ask.  It spread though the ICU.

WTF....if his big fat loving heart doesn't fail him....an ass rash just might.  It never ends. 

SIL spent a lot of time together today after we left the ICU and went to the park and just talked. I could tell she needed to get a lot off of her mind.  We both did.  We talked and it felt good to know how we both felt.  She has a heavy load on her. 

What I probably haven't told you was that she foster's little FAS babies for Child and Family Services. She had done that for awhile. Hmmm yes I think I did...but anyway.....

A few days after Garry was in the hospital she had Child and Family Services get her some respite so she could get to see Garry.  On the Sunday when she went to pick them up from the respite home....little Noah had died. 
There were ambulances and fire trucks all around the house and she didn't know what was going on.  Apparently little guys like that are likely to die of  "crib death"...I know there is a better word for that...but I can't think of it now.   And that is what happened...on top of everything else.  She loved those little guys.  The other one is now in another foster home.  How much worse could this have got......we were devastated.  He was such a cute little guy ... and I got to meet him at Easter at our dinner at their house.

She is now missing her babies she loved so much and Garry....and has to go home every day after visiting hours to an empty home.  Her kids are right behind her doing what they can.....but I could see today when we were talking how much her life has changed....and she is scared silly.  And so am I. 

It is always harder on the the family than it is the patient sometimes...because he doesn't quite get it...Sometimes I'm thankful he doesn't.

7 comments:

Dawn said...

I don't know what to say, but I am sorry to hear that about your SIL foster kids. My heart just sunk to the floor !! How sad ! That crap in the ICU unit is un freaking unreal !!! OMG !!!! I can't tell you I know what you are going through, but when my Mom had her knee replaced, it is so hard to be the family ! You have to be his advocate. If you aren't, then nobody is. I am thinking and praying for everyone in your family. I hope things turn around quickly. So...so sorry !! *HUGS*

Joan said...

Dawn...we are all there for him...all the time..thanks..

Captain Poolie said...

You have been in my thoughts. Wishing you all well during these trying times.

Donna said...

Oh Babydoll...So much sadness for SIL, Bless her heart AND Yours...I'm SO glad you have each other! I wish I were there to take up the slack for you both...
(((HUG)))

judemiller1 said...

I am devastated about Noah--he was so adorable--now an angel in Heaven for sure, but still--they start out with such a hard road ahead of them. How can an infection start in ICU, the cleanest place in the whole hospital? EGAD!!! Yes--it IS harder on the family because the patient is sedated and has no idea what is going on, but--that is a good thing--for them.

Kathy said...

You know, Balonie, it's okay if you come here and blog about the sad stuff. We're here for you. We love you and we want the best for you and your family. I'm so sorry to read about all of this sadness though. Hugs.

Sally said...

At a loss for words. :(

Hang in there, Joan. I too am glad you and sil had a talk; I know you bring comfort to each other.

Big huge HUGS.