I wish I didn't have to write my blog everyday with sadness. I am not always sad. One of the days I don't visit my brother I am happy. Which is every second day. I get on with my life. But one the day I have to go and look at what's happening to him...is very freaking sad.
Today the entire ICU developed some kind of infection....I had to wear a gown and gloves etc. and he had a huge rash on his ass. Something to do with fecal matter....don't ask. It spread though the ICU.
WTF....if his big fat loving heart doesn't fail him....an ass rash just might. It never ends.
SIL spent a lot of time together today after we left the ICU and went to the park and just talked. I could tell she needed to get a lot off of her mind. We both did. We talked and it felt good to know how we both felt. She has a heavy load on her.
What I probably haven't told you was that she foster's little FAS babies for Child and Family Services. She had done that for awhile. Hmmm yes I think I did...but anyway.....
A few days after Garry was in the hospital she had Child and Family Services get her some respite so she could get to see Garry. On the Sunday when she went to pick them up from the respite home....little Noah had died.
There were ambulances and fire trucks all around the house and she didn't know what was going on. Apparently little guys like that are likely to die of "crib death"...I know there is a better word for that...but I can't think of it now. And that is what happened...on top of everything else. She loved those little guys. The other one is now in another foster home. How much worse could this have got......we were devastated. He was such a cute little guy ... and I got to meet him at Easter at our dinner at their house.
She is now missing her babies she loved so much and Garry....and has to go home every day after visiting hours to an empty home. Her kids are right behind her doing what they can.....but I could see today when we were talking how much her life has changed....and she is scared silly. And so am I.
It is always harder on the the family than it is the patient sometimes...because he doesn't quite get it...Sometimes I'm thankful he doesn't.