Monday, July 19, 2010

I think I should quit making an ass out of myself

Time to grow up and smell the radishes. Or whatever.

I seem to be going through highs and lows this last few weeks. I don't know if it's just the lack of direction in my life or what. One minute I'm all gung ho...and an hour later I regret my decisions...such as the UTube thing. I took it off of Facebook, I was mortified this morning when I saw it. I looked like a pervert. Yeah things look different in the light of day than they did the evening before when you were still laughing at yourself and put it up. These ups and downs are getting on my nerves.

We will be going forward with the new house any day now. The heavy equipment should be there this week to excavate the basement. I know...I know...this is the a lot of the problem. It makes me very nervous building a brand new house at our age. So much could happen. And the money it will cost. Now I am focusing on getting this house ready for sale and watching HGTV on a continuous basis for tips.

So much to think about.

Actually making the video got me out of a bad slump I was in last week and I had fun with it. If I do it again I will try not to look like a Safety Pervert. I should concentrate on doing more helpful videos...such as: recycling your stool...see! there I go again. I cannot get serious. But I must. If I get serious I would probably cry. And there is nothing more pathetic than seeing an old lady sobbing with head gear on.

Sorry....but I really had a bad case of the blues today. I feel like I have lost control of my life as it was a few months ago. I wish it was winter. All these sunny warm days are pissing me off. In winter you can hole up inside without any guilt, summer beckons you to come outside and join the rest of the world. A world where I don't really fit in anymore.

But, I know all I have to do is get off my ass and find something to do other than sitting in this darn house and clean...sort off... I don't even do that very well.

Gord's dad used always say "tomorrow is a new day"....when things went I will keep that in mind when I get up tomorrow.'s gotta get better.


Poolie said...

I thought your video was really funny. Have you seen some of mine? Holy crapola!

cocoabean said...

Have you considered volunteering somewhere? It might provide the structure you no longer have

Curtis said...

Now why would you want to change who you are. If you don't want to go outside and joing the world then don't. I don't. Screw em I do what I want. About the video...that was the greatest thing since they put pockets on tee shirts. Geez I'm gonna miss that one. And another ain't no ass either. Yayyyy a new house. Lots to blog about there.

Donna said...

I'm so Sorry Joan...That depression stuff can be Awful! BUT! You can Do this! I can't imagine having all that time on my hands and not being able to decide on which way I want to turn...The house building will take up about 6 to 8 months of your time but then...what?! How about a part time job? Something you always thought about doing but never had the time to do? Library, museum, book store...2 or 3 days a week...OR...And I KNOW you'd be good at This...
Write a Book! You are a Wonderful and funny storyTeller Girl!
Now that I've butted in where I probably Shouldn't have...Hahaa
I just hate to think of you fighting Miss Penny for her ball....;o)
PS- I Also loved the video!! It was FUN!!!

Grandma K said...

Frankly, I loved the video. What I wouldn't love it (1) getting my house ready to sell - I have nested into it for 35 years, and (2)building a new house.

Sending you hugs for strength!!! Hope it helps.

Joan said...

I'm feeling better today. And thanks youse guys for giving me a boost.

Today I went to the library and got 5 books. I didn't chose the books...I just went in and took out 5 books in the fiction section. I wanted to surprise myself, and then I went to Zellers and bought 4 huge balls of yarn for a crochet project. I also asked to volunteer at the library, but...they didn't need anyone. Thats okay... I'm too loud for a I have to find all my crochet books...where did I put them??

Sally said...

Awwww, I'm glad you're feeling better today, Joan.

So, you're sayin' it's for the best that I can't watch videos? :)

I'm SO excited for you & Gord with a new house. That's gonna keep you busy, busy!!

Brenda said...

I loved your video too and look forward to more of them! I know you will find where you fit in this new chapter in your life real soon,,,stop stressing so much over it darlin'! I know you like scrapping, have you tried using those talents to make cards?

I can't wait to see your new house coming along.

judemiller1 said...

I actually envy you--I so wish I were building a new home--a slightly bigger one--or just looking at manufactured homes and picking out the one I want. It takes a while to get used to not going into work everyday--especially when you were forced out (much like I was). I think, honestly, it took me over a year, but now it is okay. Now my project is quitting smoking and it is not a project I want, but I gotta--hang in there Joanie-- I like the video.

Anonymous said...

I missed your video but I'm sure it was hilarious! It's so exciting that you're building a new house - we just remortgaged for 20 years so my husband can have a garage. BORING!!!