For lack of anything new in my life. I am going to take a page out of Mimi Smartypant's blog to make up for it. She sort of made up a list of stuff she likes and dislikes. Mimi slays me. She has a wicked sense of humour and is a really good writer.
UNSEXY THINGS I MAY HAVE ALLEGEDY SAID DURING SEXY TIMES:
My thumb hurts.
What is the dog doing down there?
Where are you?
I have a cramp in my leg.
Turn off that fucking cel phone!
THINGS I WILL ALWAYS WATCH, NO MATTER HOW CHEESY OR POORLY CRAFTED THE MEDIA:
All My Children
Jon & Kate
Anything on HGTV
Two and half men
WHAT I SAY TO THE DOG WHEN WE’RE ALL ALONE:
How's my stinkerwinker?
Time for beddieweddie.
Pennypoops here's your kibblewibble.
Let me see your footsie wootsie...while trying to clip her nails and she is trying eat my face!
Give momma a big kiss (while I hold my nose with a clothes pin) her breath smells like pond scum.
Where is: her balls...well not really her own balls because she's a girl..heh...
Where is beigie, where is bluie, where is yellow belly, where is orangie...you see where I'm going here, they are all the same type of ball with a different colour. It's just sick. But she is so smart she will bring any colour you ask her to.
I sing a song ..Penny Penny Bo Penny, Penny....and go right through the whole damn thing. It's very sad. But she loves nothing better than to hear me sing. I can't say that for anyone else.
People, this is my life. Send money.