Sunday, July 12, 2009

Still can't get in the grove

For lack of anything new in my life. I am going to take a page out of Mimi Smartypant's blog to make up for it. She sort of made up a list of stuff she likes and dislikes. Mimi slays me. She has a wicked sense of humour and is a really good writer.


UNSEXY THINGS I MAY HAVE ALLEGEDY SAID DURING SEXY TIMES:

My thumb hurts.

What is the dog doing down there?

Where are you?

I have a cramp in my leg.

Turn off that fucking cel phone!

That's better.


THINGS I WILL ALWAYS WATCH, NO MATTER HOW CHEESY OR POORLY CRAFTED THE MEDIA:

All My Children

Jon & Kate

Friends

Anything on HGTV

American Idol

Two and half men

CNN news

WHAT I SAY TO THE DOG WHEN WE’RE ALL ALONE:

How's my stinkerwinker?

Time for beddieweddie.

Pennypoops here's your kibblewibble.

Let me see your footsie wootsie...while trying to clip her nails and she is trying eat my face!

Give momma a big kiss (while I hold my nose with a clothes pin) her breath smells like pond scum.

Where is: her balls...well not really her own balls because she's a girl..heh...

Where is beigie, where is bluie, where is yellow belly, where is orangie...you see where I'm going here, they are all the same type of ball with a different colour. It's just sick. But she is so smart she will bring any colour you ask her to.

I sing a song ..Penny Penny Bo Penny, Penny....and go right through the whole damn thing. It's very sad. But she loves nothing better than to hear me sing. I can't say that for anyone else.

People, this is my life. Send money.





7 comments:

Nicole said...

I love the new background! As for the things you say to your dog...I think we all do that!

Donna said...

I LOVE Two and a Half Men!!Hahaa..
And it's Pretty in here!!!
Happy day Joan!!hughugs

Sally said...

Wow - the new header is great!! I don't know how to do all that stuff (or at least do it very well).

Yeah, I was talkin' like that to Hopper Henry (my daughter's weiner dog) and he decided to go back home. :)

poolagirl said...

I absolutely ADORE the dog talk! I say "Hey there, Tuckie Wuckie Duckie." He usually gives one courtesy tail slap and then looks at me like I am insane. So you want money? What's the exchange rate?

Brenda said...

Miz Joan, you're perfect!

Brenda said...

P.S. Love the new decor!

judemiller1 said...

You are crazy and I love it.