Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Just talking through my ass again.back at work

I'm back in prison. My inmates seemed to be happy to see me. It wasn't there for than two minutes before I had the whole gang asking questions, giving me grief...while the phone started to ring and ring. Yeah, welcome back joanie balonie.

I patted all the little apprentices on the head, (they are my little puppies) scratched the backs of their ears and sent them on there way. Fly, my little one's I shouted as I gave them their work orders.... or somebody did, I don't think it was me. I was trying to find all my stuff on my desk.

Stapler - gone
Metal ruler - gone
Pens - all gone
Stamps - hidden away...because if not..would be gone.
Computer - someone changed my settings from FireFox to explorer..bastards.
Peppermints - still there..because I hid them
Box of crackers - still in the box, I guess nobody likes my crackers.
Photo copier/email scanner/fax machine/printer...gone WTF!

Okay, now it wasn't funny anymore. But we had been looking for a new machine because our older one was in the shop, and apparently it was toast. And a new one we had been looking at had been ordered. BUT NOT FROM THE SAME COMPANY. So, the loaner we got from the old company while ours was being fixed, came and took it away. But now we had nothing left in the office but a old HP printer, which is on it's last legs. You literally have to "beg" it to print. The old lady has her good days and her ..not so good days. We didn't even have a fax machine, but we begged one from one of our guys, so at least we were in contact with the outside world.

It's amazing the technology you get used to. We used to do everything by fax in the old days. Now I had to tell our head office to FAX (yes the old fashioned way) all the stuff they used to email me with. Because the HP (Hilda Pooper) printer was taking a royal dump. Thank god for that old fax machine one of guys brought in.. Tomorrow we should be back up and running with the FASTEST, MOST ECONOMICAL, and wonderful machine that was ever invented.

I read the brochure.. it will push 1000 copies out of it's ass in 10 seconds. It will do everything you could ever wish for in 5 seconds. It will take you out for lunch if you press the right button. This machine will even wipe your ass if you tell it to. What more can a girl wish for?

I will be talking to the rep's when they bring in "smarty pants" tomorrow. If it's all it's supposed to be...who needs me? I will just go back on vacation.

So, yeah I came back to a little bittie bunch of shittie. But, you know it was like coming home again. I sort of missed those assholes. I have to admit I was a little out of sorts on my vacation, I didn't know what to do next. I'm not used to having free time and the structure I am used to.

I don't know how I can ever retire. I will be 65 next year...I know... it's crazy. I just can't sit and knit. I will probably keep on working as long as they will have me..or until I start bringing a shopping cart to work and "gathering" stuff. Singing my happy song.

Just another stage of life I guess.


judemiller1 said...

Time off work does not give you insight as to what retirement will be like..'cause you know you are going back to the office and you are thinking about those people. When you really retire--the next day you realize, "Hey...I have the rest of my life to do anything I want or nothing at all." It is a different feeling and you will be suprised at how busy you will become---but busy at fun things. My favorite? No ALARM GOING OFF

Donna said...

I want a Vacation and I WANT TO RETIRE!!!!LOL...(banging head on desk)...
You have to hide Everything if you leave...Geez! Hell, I can just come back from a weekend and I find All My Chocolate M&M's missing...That's just Not Right!!

Brenda said...

I feel for you darlin' but Jude is right, retired is different from vacation. I think you need to look into an ebay business for when you retire. You could sell some of those extra supplies that Gord always buys in bulk.