Monday, February 07, 2011

Anyone got a light?

I am making spaghetti tonight. 

It's not going well.

I bought a jar of sauce.  I never do that, I always make my own.  This sauce promised that it was made of only the finest ingredients. It was a mushroom/tomato sauce. It had 4 different kinds of mushrooms in it, tomatoes from the finest vines ever invented, plus wine from the finest wineries ever invented. Before I forget it had olive oil from the finest olive oil factory ever invented.  From the smell of it ... and the teeny taste I took of it so far I would give it 1 out of 10. 

Unless you like the taste of the mould growing behind your bathroom walls. Or if you would cut a piece of the silicone off your tub and pop that into your mouth like fungus candy. 

The olive oil they used tasted much like WD40.  Are you asking if I tasted WD40?...hell yes!  Not really I just smell it a lot because we are old and everything needs a grease job around here.

Let's just call it their version of "earthy." 

What I call earthy is the smell of someone smoking a joint.  Which reminds me...Cheech and Chong are coming to Winnipeg soon.  I will make sure to get tickets.  I have to outlive them. But after we eat the fungus spaghetti... I am not so sure. I threw some ketchup in it.  Let's see if we can peel away some of that earthy flavour.

I hurt my back today at Safeway.  I am too lazy to get a cart and always take the basket at the door.  And of course I put a shit load of groceries in it.  By the time I hit the checkout I had put it down and I  shuffle it along the dirty floor with my feet. I felt the twinge in my hip a few times, but I just carried on.  Because I AM INVINCIBLE.  I am the old woman who used to "roar."  Trust me, I can still roar....but now it's becoming more of  a meow.  I roar in my head.  I don't want anyone to put me away. 

They might find out about balonie.  Then I will be goner.


Poolie said...

Sorry about the sauce. Mushroom sauce is supposed to be yummithy. And be careful with those baskets!

Sally said...

Well, for one thing, I didn't even know there were 4 kinds of mushrooms. I thought there were two, the ones you can eat and the toadstools that grow in the yard and you can't. Shows what I know.

I'm wondering what kind of sauce you bought 'cause I use Hunts or Ragu whichever is on sale.

Have a great day! :)

Donna said...

I sometimes use Preggo and doctor it up...Sorry about that Back! You be careful!!!

Joan said...

I used the Marinara sauce the last time I bought it and it was really good.

judemiller1 said...

A grocery cart is a good thing to lean on while you shop--kind of like a walker--WHICH YOU WILL NEED NOW THAT YOU HAVE HURT YOURSELF.

Deep Breath--okay, now I am over it.