Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Happy days

Supper is in the oven doing it's thang...the dog is fed, run and watered, and best of all was when I got home tonight a crew of 5 guys and 1 girl had just finished cleaning up the back 40. Honestly, I can't believe I did it myself last spring after "the incident." They had a flat bed of leaves and shit from the backyard that was unbelievable, but last spring I guess I was so scared Gord was going to try to do it I just went into overdrive and did it myself when he wasn't looking. I remember being very very very stiff for months after. I think it was my hamstring that was bothering me...I just made that up, because I have no idea where my hamstring is, I just like the sound of it. Makes me feel a little athletic. All I know it felt like something had broken between my butt and my leg. Would the butt part be the Ham? That is how I reason thing out. I could have gone on Google and tried to sound smart about this, but I think you should know how really stupid I am. I like to keep it real.

We had a great time on Sunday. My bro's 60th. Birthday. I had to "old fart him." and I did with his presents.

My nieces threw him a partee at his house. We had a great barbecue; the best burgers I have ever tasted. I loved them. I met my nieces new boyfriends and totally make a fool of myself by just being me. While I was taking pictures of them, ... and I may have given them my phone number, I don't remember, but they were soooo cute. This was when my SIL and her sister and I were sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine from a barrel. Bad asses, I tells you.

Back to Garry's present.

My brother is nosey...always has been...it comes with our Mennonite genes. Over the last few years he hasn't been all that ambulatory....but he is getting better...but he spends a lot of time in the house in the winter. He has a chair in the kitchen overlooking the back yard, where he sits and thinks about a way to get even with me for making him eat rabbit turd when he was 5. I was hoping by this time he would get over that, but from our last discussion, nope...he still wants to kick my ass. Good thing he doesn't have the ass kicking feet he once had, or I'd be "assed kicked."

Anyway, getting back to his voyeuristic ways. I bought him a pair of binoculars so he can look into any one's house and yard in the hood. He could probably start his own blog letting the neighbours know what the fuck is going on the the neighbourhood. Now, he will be able to alert 911 before the alarm goes off in their houses. Hey, it gives him a purpose in life, plus nosiness is is a god given talent. It runs in the family. I, too have had bouts of it. Along with the binoculars, I have gave him a camouflaged hat. After all, I didn't want him to be seen while he was stalking his neighbours. Safety was a concern of mine heh! He loved it!! .... I haven't seen him so animated since he got sick. We laughed our asses off when he put the hat on....and joked around...he was the old Garry!

I had one more gift, after all, I had not made fun of him enough.

Because I couldn't find any fresh rabbit turds in our town, I started looking in the dollar stores for a gift that shouted "GARRY"....I found a remote control for his TV, DVD + all the other electronic crap he owns. It was about 8"x12". HAAAA.. I could hardly fit it in my truck. The lettering on it was huge...and best of all...it glowed in the dark!!! .... and THEN I fell on the floor and laughed some more. It was made for the ultimate old fart. You can't loose this sucker. It can't fall in the cracks of your couch, because it's so fricking big........and funny as hell. You dare not sit on it, because that would be a wedgie you would not forget. But if it happened to get up your ass, a loved one would be able to safely remove it ...because it glows in the dark............I can't stop laughing......

Needless to say, we had a great time.
..okay now Gordon is home, and American Idol is blaring in my ears...time to go into the garage.... and he is bitching about the lawn...fuckit. I'm getting out my laptop and heading on down. I didn't want any noise destroying my creativity tonight.

Whooo....it cold in here. Yes, it smells like gasoline, but I can't believe the shit that's in here.

Oh, and I forgot one more present ...the best of all. A bottle of wine I brought ...called "FAT BASTARD"...

Birthdays don't get any better than this.

1 comment:

Brenda said...

I'm glad there's no hamstring damage this year from working in the back 40.

I bet your brother appreciates the hell out of you for all those wonderful presents. I need one of those remotes for James.