Friday, September 26, 2008

He bought the lumber "nevermind"

This template is still making me not lined up........ I will fix it. It will ge in the garbage.

The doggy ramp will soon be a reality, or a complete and utter failure. Gord's a good fixer, he can fix anything that has a motor in it, fridge, stoves, washers, dryers, dishwashers, cars, trucks, motorcycles, lawnmowers, trimmers, rototillers you name it...if it purrs he is your man when it stops purring. He can also do a whole bunch of other crap ... like putting together stuff that comes unassembled from the long as he doesn't have to measure and cut it. He is the Mr. Fix.It. AND, if you buy something in the store that comes in a huge box with all the Styrofoam blocks....he can put that back together in a heartbeat if you need to return it. I can never figure out how to put the box back together when I need to return something. I step on it and hope for the best. I have a crock pot I need to take back..........again. Sigh...I will tell you THAT story another time...okay then.

But a few pieces of wood and some nails make him twitch. He pretends it's not a big deal, but I know it is.

He has a saw.
I have seen his saw.
And when I see him saw.
I saw how unseemly he sawed.

And for some reason, every time he has little project to do outside he puts on a pair of boots that must weight 6,780 lbs. He walks like a Sasquatch....clump clump... the whole house is vibrating. He wears these climbing ladders as well. The boots barely fit between the rungs fortheloveofladderness. I hate those boots....clump, clump, clump everywhere he goes.

I know he going to wear those boots on Sunday when he starts building the "stairway to heaven" for Penny. And I know someone will get hurt..heh...sure as me. It could be me, because I am always the Project Manager... and tend to over react when I think he isn't doing WHAT THE HELL I TOLD HIM TO DO....and get in his way, and we sort of trip each other up. Trust me, it will happen.

He usually ignores me and does whatever he wants, and sometimes it actually turns out the way we planned. I will try to stay out of his way. I remember when he rebuilt the railing on the deck (his very first carpentry project)...we scared the neighbours because he was getting frustrated because nothing would line up...and I was going...who gives a shit...just get it up already, so it's a little crooked... and some yelling ensued. He, being the perfectionist, and me who does not have a patient bone in my body were at some mighty odds. I had to take myself off the project. I had the vapours and took to my bed.

Our deck today is aligned perfectly. Patience is a virtue........which I have NONE.

So, this weekend could be the second coming of that....or I could just take to my bed once again. But, I have so many questions as to how all this will work, will the dog actually walk up this ramp once it is built, is the lumber strong enough, is the ramp going to be too steep, how will we clean it off in winter? (can you hear me chattering in his ears right now)...He will say as he always says when I get into a snit..."nevermind." And that just pisses me off to no end.

I think I have the vapours...I'm taking to my bed. OMG...look who's there....Angel Man!! I just fixed that speling error.

All is well. Nevermind.


Brenda said...

Hahahaha I love how you can always find a place to put angel man.

Penny will use the ramp and it'll be perfect. Just hide out till it's done. :-)

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Joan angles or angel man??
Either way works for me...Ahhh Sigh
P.s if you want to play along I have dobbed you in on my blog...
Come by for a peek:)

Donna said...

LOLOLHahaaaa....(dabbing tears)...MyGod....
You need to write a book...I'd be first in line to buy it, I swear!!
I now have to get back to angel man....thought I saw....something.....Hahaa...hughgs

Joan said...

Angle Man...for heavens sakes... did I miss that ..perhaps I had one two many wino's.

canuckabilly said...

I agree with the part that Gord can fix anything that purrs. He's been here and done it. Maybe he should build a motorized ramp for Penny. He would be good at the because it is mechanical. Wouldn't it be nice for the dog to have an escalator? Also put a heating element in it so it won't freeze up in the winter...HEY GORD...get over here I think I'm on to something bud. Ok I'm hush and leave well enough alone. It'll work, done worry.

canuckabilly said...

Oh and another thing, that dude in the white chicken suit looks like a sissy. He better hope no rooster comes along and sees him. Oh boy that could be interesting.

Joan said...

Curtis, we got the ramp up this afternoon...if you got any thoughts about heating it in winter, we would be happy to hear them.