Sunday, February 14, 2010

Air Wickedness

Can stink you out of your home.

This might be a long and somewhat disjointed post, because I think I am suffering from Air Wickedness.

It all started on Friday night. Some time ago I bought one of those plug in Air Wick Fresheners for our home. I plugged it in to an outlet by our front door. An hour later, I smelled this horrible odor in the house. Supposedly it was to smell like Lavender and Chamomile, but it ended up smelling like a dirty turd. Fragrant yes.. but you just couldn't put your head around the smell. And it was making my eyes water. So, at that time I unplugged it. I set on the table by the door and left it. UNTIL Friday night.

When Gord got home and after we had dinner and were watching the Olympics...I said to him, doesn't it smell strong in here? He agreed. I went downstairs to the front door where it seemed to be coming from and couldn't find anything wrong.

I have a normal air freshener upstairs, and thought maybe it took a dive and was making the house smell. So, I took it outside and thew it in the snow. That was the end of it because we were just going to bed.

On Saturday morning....the house was wreaking of Air Wick Lavender and Chamomile. What the hell? I thought I thew it out? Then I noticed that the container I had left on the the front door table was overturned. Gord must have thrown his keys down ... or something and overturned it. It had leaked on my lovely bamboo table....under the lamp....on to the a place mat underneath it. IT STANK. I was getting a headache. So......

I grabbed the offending Air Wick container and put it upright. No more leaking I thought. Wrong. Wrong Wrong. I brought it into the kitchen, thinking I would throw it in the garbage. But before that I put it down on the counter, beside the phone, then I picked it up again, and put it on the other side of the counter....BECAUSE I HAVE NO BRAINS.. then apparently from the all the smell, I must have walked 3,000 miles around the house with this MF'r in my hands. Then I threw it in the inside garbage can which was a big mistake and that started to smell..lordyloveaduck it stank. By this time my hands, my pants, and everything I touched smelled like air freshener. I finally took it outside and threw in the garbage bin.

THE SMELL IN THE HOUSE WOULD NOT GO AWAY. It followed me around. I finally took a shower to get it off of me. But, nay even after the shower the house wreaked of cheap air freshener.

I had to throw out the front table where it spilled, I nearly had to throw our phone because I had it laying on the counter (it was out of it's base) but we have two and I interchanged them because there was no way you could answer the phone with STANK. And I had to air out a bunch of forms I had laying on the counter to send in. Like who would want to smell that when they opened the envelopes at the other end... Sonofabitch I was mad. In every room I went to there it was... I guess even after I threw it away before my shower I stunk. It is surprising how many things you touch in your house in a period of ...maybe 5 minutes. I almost forgot I had to throw out my lamp that sat on the front table...that crap leaked underneath it too.

Today I was doing some paperwork for the business, and wouldn't you know...I must have waltzed into the office too. WTF

Let this be a life lesson. Let air smell like air....even during the winter months when you can't open the windows.

Balonie.... even after 60 you can still keep on learning. OR...just maybe you might be ready for the ummmm "home."

7 comments:

beyondpanicsometimes said...

Those fragrance things always bother my asthma so I don't usually get them, but I've spilled a million of them so I feel your pain!

judemiller1 said...

My friend used one of the oil ones that plug in and suffered with a bad respiratory illness for almost a year before the medicos figured out what had caused it. She eventually had to tear out all her carpeting and get new curtains and have her furniture steamed cleaned to try and get the smell out of her house. Those are malicious--don't use them ever again!!!

Poolie said...

Feed the dog some refried beans. It might take care of it.

Hype0724 said...

So is that a way to keep the Air Wick smell in the house is to unplug it and forget about it? I'm going to try that because I can't keep the smell in the house to save my life.

-Paul

http://www.mostlygrocery.com

Joan said...

I don't know why I didn't throw it out in the first place. I'm a putz that's why.

Sally said...

Well, goodness, I never thought that could happen!!

Donna said...

Hahahahaa...how Awful!!!
I always buy Vanilla...At least if it spills, I'm not wanting to puke...LOL
hughugs