Friday, February 26, 2010

My Living Will

Last night Gord and I were sitting in the
living room and I said to him, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.


"If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

He got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. He's such a bastard.

Hippy Chick sent this to me and I just changed the names. She knows me! Too funny.

I will probably put it on facebook too....I'm still laughing.

Another week closer to retirement. Two more months and the world will be my oyster. I better not say that out loud, because then shit will happen. I just touched wood, to offset that remark.

I set a balloon free today. On Sunday when we went to Gord's nieces "sweet 16" birthday party I forgot to give her the helium BDay balloon I had in the back of the truck. That piece of shit has been bobbing around in the back for about a week, and I couldn't see out the back window. So, this afternoon when I came home for lunch I decided to set it free. It was pretty obvious when I let it go that it didn't want to go out in the cold and liked it in the back of my truck. Mind you, I never fed it or anything. And we weren't on a first name basis or anything. But I think balloon was happy in the back of my truck.

I thought I was doing it a favour by letting it fly free. But it hung back, and then flew up to the top of our house, took a turn to the left and headed for our neighbours house. It danced around for a bit, and then a small shift in the wind took it right into their huge evergreen tree. There she sits now...nine feet up tangled in the evergreens. We are house sitting our neighbours house for the winter. I don't know how I will explain this when they get home. Ummm...you have a very shiny Happy Birthday balloon sitting in your tree....some asshole must have let it go. We have no idea who did it....and by the way we didn't mean to over water all your plants. Love Joan.

Most of our neighbours have gone to warmer climates in February. I can tell they all have timers on their lights every night. Like that would fool a burglar. Stupid.

I bought a food processor today. Yes, just one more thing I can't fit in my cupboards. I'm sick and tired of chopping and slicing and dicing my veggies...and we eat a lot of them. I have fine line of time to do it at supper because I work...no shit Sherlock...

It was on sale. It might go the way of the rice steamer, and the crock pot. I hope not. The rice steamer only cost me 10.00 so I can give that up to stupidness...the crock pot..maybe 30.00 bucks. What I find with the crock pot ( I may have said this before) but I hate the smell of supper living in the house all day. By the time I eat it, I have smelled it for 14 fucking hours...and I no like. I like to smell my food only..maybe only two hours before we eat it...other than that....I am not longer interested. I'm funny like that.

I bought a set of Puppy Stairs for Penny today. She has been so good lately and has been able to hoist her huge ass on the couch and chairs without help. But I thought I would buy this PUPPY STAIR STEPPER for the bedroom where I have a make shift set of stairs made of cushions from an old love seat we once had. When I introduced her to it.....She gave me the ...WTF look, it was soooo small ... she went around it and jumped on the bed. I think those stairs were made for a miniature domesticated frog. So, I guess that goes back to the store.

Gord just got home, time to have PIZZA....

balonie...over and out and making her way back.

3 comments:

Donna said...

I Love the "computer" story...Funnnnnny!!!
I can Also tell you are still excited about taking care of the neighbors homestead....LOLOL...
my poor Joan....
Don't let 'em pull this on you next year!!!
Moved by then??
hughugs

judemiller1 said...

Congrats to you Canadians for the most gold medals in the Olympics--I think that great to have it in your home country and win everything.

Anyway--I love my crock pot and I thought you worked. How could you be smelling it cook all day if you are at work?

Go get another balloon--a Welcome Home balloon and stick that one in the pine tree. Maybe they will only see that one or think the other one goes with it and they will think you are such a neat neighbor.

Joan said...

Jude, I only use the crock pot on the weekends. God forbid I get up early enough in the morning and put stuff in it. I barely get enough time to shower. I'm not a morning person. My snooze button is almost worn out.