Sunday, March 27, 2011

Spring is in the air

But it is coming very slowly.  This is good.  Because we have a major flood coming our way again.  The slower the melt the better. Fargo ND got dumped on last that stuff all comes intoour river network here in Manitoba. So I'm not wishing for really high temps right now.  A slow melt will ease the situation and not cause major flooding on the Red River that runs through the city...AND right behind my new house!!

So you guys in the US quit wishing for spring if your river runs through us.  .OKAY....let's do it nice and easy. Don't make me come  out there and give you a knuckle sandwich..heh..

Yeah..I'm feeling a like a little bad ass today. 

Bro is still in the hospital.  Still on antibotics for the mystery infection.  He seems to get spaced out every time they hook up that IV.  His vitals are problem...just this mystery shit.  I have calmed down.  I have stopped terrorizing his nurse and doctor when I am there or on the phone.  It gets me nowhere.  They are doing their best and I understand.  But I just want them to understand  that even if all of us cannot be there 24-7 ..we are taking notes ...and we care.  I have seen a lot of people in the hospital and are just left without an advocate.  Someone to speak in their behalf if they cannot. 

That being said....I have a horrible problem with going to the hospital.  It fucking scares me to death.  My blood pressure must be over the top when I do go.  I have to talk myself into it everytime.  I did the same thing when my mom was in the hospital before she died, then Gordon when he had heart problems....I don't want to see them sick and I have to crank up everything in my mind to get there.  I am wringing my hands as I am writing this.  I am pretty sure that is the reason I got lost going home last week from the hospital.  I was a nutcase.  Plus it's in an area of town I am not familar with. 

But I will go back tomorrow to see for myself "what condition his condition is in."  ...even if I have a panic attack on the way. 


judemiller1 said...

That's why I try to go to the hospital every day--just to let them know Fred has someone who is watching them and taking notes. I too get crazy when going to the hospital--every time I get there I have to stand inside the main door for a moment because I am so dizzy my legs are like jelly and I can't walk without feeling faint. I had a security woman offer to take me up to Fred's room in a wheel chair because I was so shaky--I declined and talked myself through it. When my last child was born, they put me on tranqulizers because every day, I got sick--I was just a corridor away from where my mother had died the year before. I guess to me, hospitals are still places you go to die and they creep me out BIG TIME!!!
BTW==it sometimes takes 10 or more days for the antiobiotic to kick in.

Donna said...

I STILL can't pass the hospital where both my parents died...Hard to even look at it.
Hang in there sweetheart...I Know he appreciates you being there...

Joan said...

Yeah....he was doing so much better today...still a little out of it. Jude you might be right. Thanks

Donna & Jude I do the same thing too with the hospital where my parents died...and it's on my way to everywhere all the time...fudge... but it only a fleeting moment these days. Once I'm down the highway my mind seems to flip back to why I was driving there in the first place. Time is the healer.