Sunday, April 27, 2008

Okay EARTH or whoever you are...

Apparently my footprints are too bloody sorry, but I have big feet. Short of chopping off my toes, I don't know howinthehell I will manage to shorten them.

Yeah, I have been thinking about chopping off my feet ... just a bit. The media just doesn't give up on this crap, and puts that teenie tiny little bug in your ear. So, last week I tried to shop "go green." Stop laughing!!!

Day one:
I went to Safeway and bought 4 new cloth bags. I told the clerk to put my groceries in the new bags. The poor clerk, had to deal with these flabby bags on the counter and struggled putting all the groceries in them. Normally, the regular bags are at a lower level and they don't have to reach up and plunk them in your new and improved environmentally challenged bag. She used two of the four bags I bought, and rang me through. Okay, whatthehell!! The handles on these bags were way way too long, I drug my groceries to my truck through all the filth that still resides on our streets from winter. I thought I could just tuck them up in the crook of my arm, but they still reached the ground. Perhaps, that is what should be happening, I don't know, do they want our grocery bags to actually touch the environment.

.. My footprint was getting a little pissed off.

Day Two: (yes I shop everyday, I never know what I want to make for supper.) I thought I would park as far away from the store as possible to minimize excess use of valuable fossil fuels and maximize the possibility of buying a donut when I was in the store. The donut won.

I hit the isles, and remembered that I was supposed to try to buy locally grown products. Wellhell!! It's still winter...I checked, and yes they had ice for sale, but discovered it was imported. Consider the irony.

Plus that shit melts the minute you put it in the frying pan. Empty calories is something I can't stand.

I was hungry for chicken; but I could not find a birth certificate on any of them. It was like God, made them in heaven, killed them, plucked them, washed them down, put them in shrink wrap and a Styrofoam tray....and magically they found their way to Safeway.. Hey, that was good enough for me....I didn't have to worry about my "footprints" getting any bigger. God brought them to me.

Now, all I was missing was some veggies and potatoes. I did find some carrots that were produced in Manitoba (last fucking year.) If you don't mind the taste of musty carrots that are as big as a cat, these are the one's for you. I passed. Apparently we have the same problem with potatoes, last fall was a long time ago, and they don't even exist anymore. Also, I needed dog food. Nothing! My footprint was about to kick some one's ass!!! So I took the chicken that God made, and went to the checkout.

I get into the lineup and note all the people ahead of me are still using plastic bags.

I feel smug.

Then I realize I have left all my cloth bags in the truck!!!

Well, hells bells.. I told the cashier to just give me the fucking chicken, and I will carry it out without a bag. She told me, it has to leave the store in a bag of some sort...because of some rules, blahhhhh..blahh. Okay, said I, if you put it in a plastic bag, I want you to sign a document that says ...your footprint is on this chicken bag..not mine. She said, "no prob" you want it double bagged.? heh I love her.

I feel smug.

I got home, and took the chicken out of the plastic bag, and promised myself I will use my cloth bags from this day forth. I took the plastic bag, went outside on the deck and set it free, and it landed on one of our neighbours trees... and stuck in the branches. And I felt smug.

Something tells me I don't quite get this shit.

I have 4 almost brand new earth friendly bags with humongous handles on them for anyone who wants them. I call them "drag and drop"....bags.

The ugly back "40"...what a fricking mess.

Penny, loving some sunshine.

Nothing better than seeing ice coming out of your eaves... its cold out here baby.

Who does not want to kiss this face? Bad breath and all. My penny loafer. You can see how much she loves her mom with those I love you eyes.


Sally said...

I like your new look, pretty snazzy!! But, have you lost all your comments from past posts? Just wondering.

Good for you going green. But, I have to tell you, when I worked in the grocery those bags really ARE a pain for the cashiers! I had one customer who regulary brought in his bags, and didn't want anyone touching his groceries - he put them in the bags himself. #1 Those bags looked filthy to me! #2 Did he not KNOW other people, many other people had already "touched" that crap he bought?

Okay, I'll shut up. Love your pictures!! Penny looks happy. :)

Joan said...

Yes Sally, I did loose all my comments from the last post, but fortunately I had read them all. The last time I changed my template I didn't loose haloscan, but this time it went bye bye.

Bobbie said...

Great new look, Joan! Very denim-y!