Sunday, November 23, 2008

Two ole farts living in a tree..

We put up all our 980,679 new strings of LED lights up this afternoon over the bushes in front of the house, well they aren't bushes anymore they have taken on a life of their own and are gigantic rounded cedar bushes ...and we never blew a breaker! Damn they are fine. We had two boxes left over, and I strung them on the plum tree out back that faces our kitchen patio doors after Gord left. It was daylight, so I couldn't see what it might look like at night...and when it got dark I was pleasantly surprised. Stringing lights on a plum tree to start off with, is not pleasant. They are thorny little bastards. When I was finished it was almost dark, and when I got back into the house and turned them on...I went...oh looked really stupid. But as soon as the sun had set and it was black out there...I saw a form...and it almost makes it look like I did it on looks like a Santa Sleigh!! In mid air!

Gord and I did the front lights this afternoon. And, I knew it was going to be challenge...Mr. Perfect and I don't mesh. He is the perfectionist...I am the one who says "its good enough." I like to get in and out of a project as fast as I can. Wipe my ass and call it a day. But..noooooooooooo. We had to do our annual bullshit. I'm sort of glad I let him take charge, because if I would have done it alone it would have been a disaster. Those bushes are almost 7 feet tall this year...and ladders were involved. We still bickered throughout the entire process, but I guess that is just the way we roll. That will never change.

It went like this:

Gord: I will get up the step ladder to throw the lights on top of the bush...and you make sure all the rest of the light are aligned so we can start pushing them in the cedars.. Cedars don't have you have to sort of push the lights in.

Joan: Get off that ladder!!..I can do that. You have a bum knee

Gord: Whatever..looking very dejected.

Joan: I'm going up now, just hand me the lights...

Gord: Did you stretch these lights out after you took them out of the box? They all look so close together.

Joan: Yes I did. I pulled them all apart before we started.

Gord: They still still look too close together.

Joan: Fuck it...just hand me the damn lights!...nope, we have to have a pulling exercise on the cords of the lights to get the maximum length between each light. Did I mention it's really cold and the cords are kinda frozen?

Gord: Let me get on the ladder. This is ridiculous, you can't throw them up high enough to reach the top.

Joan: Be my guest. I scramble off the ladder and try to find another place I can make myself useful behind the bushes in order to grab the lights when he throws them.

Gord: Where are you? I'm here says I, crawling underneath the bush... Where are you?... I like fucking with his head.... I can see he doesn't want to play at this I have to get serious, so he gets up the ladder again and TOSSES the lights up as far as he can get them, and of course they all fall back on his head. They are a little brittle because it's cold and don't seem to want to be "tossed." Like Midgets...cold Midgets... So, we take them down and warm them with our paws. And he tosses them up again really quickly before they freeze.........and hey it worked... we do a "high five"....then we began to work as a team.

We teamed up for ..what?..probably five minutes...that's as long as that lasted. But hey, that is better than the three minutes we lasted in our last project. I think we are making progress here. I cannot see any point in retirement in our case, because working together is not a good idea. Every time we do, someone gets hurt. Either we bonk our heads together trying to do the same job, or we nit pik... he starts it!... heh...gawwd we are stupid old people.

My next door neighbour ...across the fence..called me tonight and told me how beautiful my display was in the back yard.

I win.


A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

I was reading that with a smile spreding across my faceas I read!
So Funny and always that little bit extra Funny as you always to manage to slip in the F-bomb!
Ahhh...We do have some things in common:)

Brenda said...

You and Gord work well together for about twice as long as I do with James. I've never forgiven him for nailing my fingers behind that baseboard 36 years ago. :-)

Donna said...

I should get off my butt and put some lights on the front of our house as much do ya'll charge???Hahaaa...I heard that!!hahaa...Where's the picture??hughugs

JUST A MOM said...

I am catching up I LOVE it team work,,, great job... pictures??