Sunday, June 07, 2009

Almost too tired to type

I wrote this yesterday but fell asleep before my I could "Click" Publish

Finally I have been able to put in my annuals. We had frost warnings forever. If those suckers freeze tonight I will ... I guess do nothing...I can't. All that digging around in the dirt, and the planning of what goes in what pot, was making me tired. And a little mad. I don't like gardening, I'm sorry.

And all the getting up and getting down, climbing the stairs to the deck, up and down, running to the front of the house turning on the water, then turning it off, then turning it on again, then dragging the hose around..when I finally lost my cool. So, I took a break. Played with the dog, talked to the neighbour across the fence, and then Gord started pissing around the back 40.

As is his yearly ritual, he started every gas powered THING he owns. First the lawnmower, which was right beside me when I was potting my bedding plants. Nothing like gasoline fumes in your stinking face. He didn't start it up only once. Nope. It has an electric start on it which was not working properly. So, he kept on grinding away on it..over and over again. After about an hour he figured out you have to close the thingofamajig on the handle bar. It's funny how you forget to use a lawnmower after 9 months of winter. I don't blame him. But I laughed at him big time. So, in spite he let it run for 20 minutes, and damn near gassed me.

Then he went to the other shed and tried starting everything in there. One of them was a snowblower>>>> I thought winter was done with? We never use it, but he needed to know it was still working. Then our garden tractor (actually if was his dad's which we never use)...We have it advertised for sale in the "buy and sell"...and he wanted to make sure it worked. Well he lost the key to it. So, we go key seeking. he claims it is in our key container..which consists of a plastic bowl which sits on top of the closet by the front door. You know that door. My staging area for my videos..yeah that door.

Anyway, the key was missing. He couldn't start the tractor. A lot of swearing went on, and he couldn't believe he lost it. But later on he found a key that almost fit, and it started..OYYYY. So, after that he started up his motorcycle in the shed. And reved it and reved it, and reved it. Smiling all the while. Ignition and the smell of gasoline makes my man smile. It makes me MAD.

I had envisioned an nice quite afternoon in the backyard and do the potting of the plants. Plant potting needs a zen like atmosphere. After he had the whole back 40 filled with smoke and fumes from all the stuff he was starting up, I politely asked him to CUT IT OUT. That is like waving a red flag in front of bull. Just to piss me off he starting honking the horn on his motorcycle. How childish? Then I hit him on he head with a 2x4...the end.

WE HAVE TREES GROWING OUT OF OUR EAVES! And he is pissing around.

Bad picture taken through the screen. But tree are growing!

I have wanted an old fashioned picnic table for the longest time.. just your regular wood ole time picnic table. We had one until about 5 years ago, and it fell apart. So yesterday I went picnic table shopping because I seen a few on sale. They are prefab and all you gotta do is put them together.

I went to Home Depot on Saturday and asked for the one on sale. The lady said they were sold out, but I could go to the other side of the city to another location because they had 13 left according to their computer. Backupthetruckjake...I don't have time to go across town, I only have this small window of opportunity to pick it up. Because I have to get home, people are waiting for me, plus I have no idea HOW to get to the other location.

I asked if they could bring a table to this location, and I would have Gord pick it up on Sunday...but that was frowned upon. I called Gord on my cell and told him what had happened and asked him to go to the other location to pick one up if he had time. He didn't have time. I said, it's okay...let's just forget it. But not as quietly as is looks like on type.

So, I went to another place "Rona" right across the street, and asked them if they had picnic tables, and the nice man asked me..." Is someone in you household handy"?.... I heartily laughed in his face...probably getting a little spittle on his chin, and said "NO"...but my husband can fix anything that has a motor. He said they could give me a drawing of a picnic table and then we could buy the necessary lumber and build it ourselves.... I told him my husband is "wood challenged", so I left it at that. So, I went home dejected.

My SIL was over, and a few people before Gord got home and when he got home...he had my picnic table!! Yay!! He made the time to get it. He said he made some calls after I called him to find one closer to Rona...where I had just been and dissed him. He probably talked to the same guy just after I left there. The guy is probably still laughing.

So, we still have to put it together, but not build it from scratch. I see divorce in my near future anyway. Or at the least, some really loud talking.

That would be a video you wouldn't want to miss.

But, I don't think the picnic table will fit in my small staging area.


Sally said...

Nobody tells a story like you do. n.o.b.o.d.y. :)

Anonymous said...

How's Gord's head? A few stitches probably fixed him right up, yes?

Brenda said...

Hahahahaha, I bet ol Gord has lumps and bumps and scars from all those years of being married, hmmm? Poor man. Ha!

Donna said...

Ever find that key? Hubby's done that as well...and I'n Also not nuts about gardening!! Happy night sweetie!hughugs

Joan said...

Gardening is a pain in the ass.

judemiller1 said...

This is just hysterical. I LOVE the way you write!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! Sorry to laugh at you and your hubby's expense, but you are hilarious!