Countdown...one more sleep

And it will be official, I will be an OLD FART.  It's freaking over.  Someone call the old people police. Halp!  My friend Roberta sent me this card.  On the inside of the card it says "If you guess "C" you are correct! (But something tells me you've played this game before.)...heh...yup many times before.  But I was struck by  the likeness to my friend Poolie who darts in and out of here some days.  I tried to find a picture of her in her blog...but she's not on blogger and I couldn't figure out the achieves in word press.... or wordstock... whatever these old hippies use. But it looks like her. 


One more sleep and I will have been out of the chute 65 years...lord it's been a long time.  I need me some ribs a side of fries, coleslaw..and bottle of wine.  Then take me home and put me to bed.  The rest of my life is going to be a piece of cake....ohhhhh cake...let's not forget the cake.

Balonie ... shaking off the fungus... and looking forward.

Toe nails

Years ago I had problems with my toe nails.  They started to get hard and brittle, and I thought it was old age.  I remember my parents using an axe to cut theirs, so I thought this was just another one of those things!!  Finally about two years ago it got really bad and my big toe nails started to get so thick I could not cut them.  The nails on my other toes were all twisted and weird looking. I couldn't even buy regular shoes because the pressure on the front of the shoe would hurt my big toes.  I have lived with this for many years just thinking it was old age.  My toe nails were always a little brown looking and very brittle. 

Well guess what?  After being off work for almost 6 months my toe nails have made a lot of progress. I have almost no pain in them...and they are getting back to normal.  I can see where the brown line starts and stops on all of them 6  months ago.

I had a heater under my desk for years and years.  I had a desk by a window in  winter and ran the heater all the time because it was cold.  In summer my boss put the AC  up so cold I used the heater then too. 

I fried my feet. 

My toe nails are starting to get pink and thin again.  I no longer have pain in them...........and I can now buy shoes that don't have open toes.  I'm thinking about some styling leather boots... I thought that part of my life was over... I had to wear old lady shoes...

So there you go...

Count down to  year 65.......October 1st. 1945 when I was born.  My mother said it was in the early morning.  I will post every day until I hit this landmark. And yeah I think I was pretty cute. An I am pointing at you.

It's dark outside ...and it's still early

Yeah, summer has given up...thank god.  I was tired of it.  But I'm pretty pissed off at the mess the trees are leaving.  Let's not even get into the goose shit in the park. 

This new home thing is draining my energy.  I have about 50 choices for everything and I can't make up my mind.  I wish they would only give you two...take it.. or leave it....because I can understand that and it makes it so much easier.  In many cases the builder only gives you two choices eg.) kitchen cabinets...you can make different choices BUT if  they are not in the allowance of the contract you will have to pay the difference.  So, you have to do your homework and make sure you don't make stupid decisions just because something else is prettier.  So far we have stayed pretty well within our allowances, except for the front door.  They cheaped out on that and I wanted a nice door for a change.  Something welcoming instead of what we have now...a brown inside door and a screen door on the outside. Yawn.  Nothing that says...come on in!  But sometimes that might be a good thing.  heh.  I'm not that neighbour friendly, because if you own a business everyone in the neighbourhood wants a piece of you because they know Gord fixes appliances.....and they want it for nothing.  We decided in the new house we will not make friends with anyone like we did here.  It's amazing how people think because you live on the same street they will get their appliances fixed for next to nothing.  Man that irritates me.

Crazy I know.  But that is how people are. 

I can't wait to sit on my front porch. .... or veranda as my grandma used to call it.  Some of my friends are still laughing at me for putting on a porch, including my husband.  They say it will make it look old.  But my friend Janis who drew up the house...knew what I was talking about and made it look a little of both worlds.

 Best times of my life were when my mom put me on a bus to visit Grandma & Grandpa in the big city on summer break.  Grandma and I would sit on the veranda and she would try to teach me to embroider pillow cases....or eat bing cherries...or take me to a movie 10 blocks away from her house...or take me to Kelikes another 10 blocks in the other direction for chips.  We did a lot of walking.  Sometimes after eating chips at Kelikes we went and had ice cream too.  They didn't have a TV...nor did we at the time, so evenings were spent on the veranda talking and smelling her wonderful flowers.  Oh yeah,,,, there were caramels involved I remember them. 

Sometimes I would get a little homesick so  she would get one of my cousins who lived in the city to come over to play with me for the rest of the week.  Then she had two grandkids to spoil.

What I remember the most was the airplanes.  Grandma had a huge window facing the south...and it was full of her plants...bizzy lizzies...she called them.  I remember sitting at the window and watching the airplanes fly overhead.  Everytime I heard one I would go to the window and try to catch it.  We never had airplanes flying overhead in the country and this was so amazing to me.  I couldn't grasp it.  It was a great time of my life.  Grandma also made me really cool clothes.  She could sew anything.  Mom would always ask her to sew me an Easter Dress....God forbid I didn't have a nice Easter dress. This was when I was a little older...and got a little picky..er.  The one I remember the best was the skirt she sewed for me.  A circle skirt.  Yup....the one you put a crinoline underneath which made you look like a half assed blimp.  And when you sat down the crinoline popped up in front of you and showed off your panties. You had to constantly keep shoving it down between your legs...but hey...it was cool.  They were made of a very itchy hard fabric.   I remember after the crinoline days were over, I draped it over the bottom of  my dresser in my room and made it look very girly.  Recycling at it's best.  It was yellow...


Yeah... a veranda....I have to get some memories made there with my family before I take my dirt nap.   What can I teach them....???  Oy....their parents would kill me if they only knew what I have in mind.  Kidding....crocheting maybe.. anything computer...well I think I will teach them to blog.  They are all into facebook and can't write anything over three sentences.  Yeah that's what I will do in my veranda...which will be hooked up!  But I will have bing cherries and caramels...and I will see if I can get some bizzy lizzies to grow.

balonie...getting one step closer.

Testing new stuff

Testing

Boy that's pretty cool, we can resize images and they also are placed in the order we want them.

Excellent ...

Moving on down the road

I bought a small box of peaches and put them behind a dark door to ripen them up....and forgot about them. It has been somewhat smelly going past this door everyday, but I never thought about it too much. Today when I looked behind the door, the box was full of fruit flies and the peaches were rotten. So much for peach jam. I threw that box out so fast the fruit flies couldn't even catch up to me when they started flying out.



We are stilling mulling about with our house plans etc. Just when we think we have one thing solved another pops up. I know it's all part of the game. That is why I never wanted to do it. It's cold and raining right now...which I love because it gives us time to make changes while the trades aren't able to work. But, by next week they think they will be ready to frame, so that means get off your ass time.



I've got the back 40 under control. Unless we have more big wind storms all the branches should stay on the trees! I have taken in my pond stuff... I may leave somethings so the new owners (sob) will have something nice to look at in spring. It's pretty emotional to sit out at the picnic table with Penny ...with the geese flying overhead, and watching the leaves on your trees change colours and know you will never see it again the same way again.

I have started to pack up stuff, throw out stuff and give away stuff. But I have a question.....when my mom died I landed up with most of her stuff...not a whole lot of it...but stuff I will never use ...some is memorabilia some of it is not. My Grandmother's china cabinet for instance. My mom gave it to me after she bought her own....yes, she passed it on to family, but I have to tell you it is ugly. I think I know why I now own a piece of history ... because she didn't have to look at it anymore. I feel guilty giving it away because my grandfather made it (hence the ugliness)...sorry grandpa, you did the best you could in the depression. I have it downstairs and use it as a bookcase now. I hate to sound like a snob, but it's made of plywood and stained a really ugly colour. It served it's purpose in her house and in my mom's. I always remember it in my grandmother's living room, but in my house it looks out of place, as it did in my mom's house. I have so many pictures of it in grandma's house...where it belonged and I think I can live without it, and look at the pictures when it really meant something with her china in it.



Then I have all my mom's other stuff. Trinkets...plants that I have kept alive, clothing, and everything she ever gave me for my birthday ... or anniversary. A lot of it is meaningless, but some is not. That I will keep. I need to downsize the memories. What I did a few years ago when I had just too much I took pictures of it and send the stuff to "Goodwill." I have never missed any of that stuff...and if I ever want to see it again I have a picture of it.

Remind me to write a post about my toe nails. It will be riveting.

Balonie...cleaning this house one thing at a time.

My balonie is tuckered

Who would have thought installing a little carpet 6x8" in the foyer would tucker a girl out? Well it did. Who knew there was so much prep work? Who knew I didn't have a clue in what I was doing? Nobody. Ha. I love diving in a project and then trying to fill the "F" ups later. Actually there were not that many.

Two years ago, I decided to tile the said foyer. Well, if you ever want to see a "F"up, that was one. Matching the tiles...cutting the tiles ...holysmokes it was a nightmare. Over the last two years for some reason the tiles have been sliding over the lip of the raised floor. It's like the parting of the red sea. Suddenly you see a gap in the middle of the floor and then you see...oh shit..they are all moving over to the raised lip...and jutting over. It's like a pretend floor. And when you step on it...it caves ..sort of. I don't think I am making myself clear, however what I did was carve out the tiles that were overlapping to meet the real floor .... with my new handy dandy knife. So now the raised floor is all level.

So, I started with the carpet. I got it all sorted out and knew what I had to do to cut it. I couldn't take off the baseboards because apparently the people that built this house wanted to keep the cheap plastic baseboards as a shrine ... as to their ability to build a good sturdy house. However after 25 years these plastic baseboards become brittle and you really don't want to try to pry them off. So I got a nice length of metal and shoved it underneath and cut the carpet that way. It was perfect. Except for the part where Gord was going to help me and he cut himself...and he didn't even have the knife in his hand.....nevermind! He went to work just after that....dripping with blood and bandaids....good grief. He just has to look at something sharp and his skin starts to part....oy.

I even cut out all the parts for the heat register and the air return registers without incident. Then I decided to clean out the closet in the hallway. Holy crap there was a ton of stuff to throw out ... and throw it out I did. Then I noticed that the floor in the closet did not match the landing I had just carpeted. A haaa... I had enough carpeting left to do that too. Okay, not quite enough...but enough to make it look nice. When you open the door all our boots and shoes are on the same flooring...........but on the other side....not so much. Hey, there is only so much a girl can do. If the new owners don't like it....I will throw in 20 bucks...because that is what the entire flooring cost me today. I will take a picture of it tomorrow.... I don't know if I have any before pic's when I tiled it...but it looked good before the tiles started to slip over da lip.

Now I must go and rest. For tomorrow I have to tackle the basement and all it's contents. And the three flights of stairs to get rid of it. (not really heavy stuff...just stuff.)

I need someone to blow some good vibes up my ass....or I will never make it up those stairs.

balonie...thanks you for your participation.

Funny thing happened on the way to hippy chicks farm last week

I went with my SIL who just bought a fancy newer (older car). Okay it's a 2008, that's new to me. Sheila is a neat freak. Her car is immaculate. Unlike my truck which has things growing in it. I like a tidy clean house, but I could give a hairy rats ass about what I drive. If Gord doesn't clean it...it pretty well stays grimy. Like who cares....nobody visits my truck. I rarely have a passenger except the dog...therefore the hair and stale doggy breath smell. And oh yeah that green bell pepper that fell out of a grocery bag and rotted under seat.

Anyway....a couple of weeks before we went on our trip she cleaned her fancy leather seats with Armour All. Can you see where I am going with this? Armour All makes stuff slippery. As we were leaving the city every time she hit a red light my ass slipped down out of my seat belt and on to the floor. I held on for dear life until we got out of the city and on to the open road. About an hour on the road, we stopped in a little town because her fancy GPS did not want us to go where we wanted to go. As we stopped I once again pulled myself from the floor and back on to the seat. I unbuckled my seat belt and decided to go for a smoke..shutup! while she figured out why the signal was screwed up. I opened the passenger door...it's one of those really wide doors (which was apparently Armoured ALL as well. With the seat that was already slippery and the door which was like black ice....I fell to the curb. I slipped right out of her car. Like a floppy old fish. She was quite amused at all my flailing around because she had fallen out her seat a couple of weeks before. But she fell out of her car at Wal Mart.... I only fell out of it at a remote location where nobody saw me. So Ha to her.

On the way back to the city....I clenched my butt cheeks for any possible stopping motion. I was ready. Her car didn't have one of those little handles above the passenger door to hang on to either... so I just braced myself at every intersection when we got back in the city. When we finally drove up to my house I was feeling more relaxed and I invited her in for a glass of wine.

She stopped the car, we both opened our respective doors and slid out. Nobody was hurt, because by this time we had a plan.

balonie..doing sliders.

Choices

Do these look like "pretend" patio doors? Yes, they are display doors but they are not pretend. Why did I think they would be pretend doors? Because I'm stupid, that's why. It hurts when you try to walk through them.

These are some of our new windows...and no, I didn't try to walk through them. There is no design on them, that is just a hallway with more doors behind them. I like the top transom design.

Doors, windows, carpets, hardwood etc.....it's so hard to choose. What if it looks like a dogs breakfast by the time it all gets together? I have a feeling we will have to live with some screw ups.

So, what has everyone been up to while I have been blowing a hole in our life savings? I have been decluttering and cleaning the house. After I am finished a room nobody is allowed to in it. It shall remain a shrine until we put the house up for sale. I don't care if you have to go to the bathroom, hold it.....until we sell (I have been heard shouting). Don't mess with a woman on a mission.

I have encountered weird people lately.... sales people mainly. How do they remain so ... perky? Why when I enter their offices do they greet me like they are my best friend ever? I have to pick them up by the hair while they are kissing my flip flops and give them a shake. Sometimes I act unreasonable just to see their reaction and most times they will throw in an extra door or window just to shut me up. I don't know what I'm going to do with that extra west wing they promised, sell it on E Bay I guess. I'm getting good at this.

Where have I been?

I don't know. Yesterday I was out buying padded bra's. My girls are shrinking. That under wire shit is bugging me today.... it hurts. I guess I can't take it back now.

We have been busy picking out shingles, windows, flooring....etc. and we are both still alive. Nobody has been hurt YET. But...oh my Gord has some weird ideas. Sometimes I just sit and look at his head and wonder what really goes on in there. And when we are talking to the sales people at the different places why does he feel the need to tell them his life story? Why? They don't give a shit about his sprained shoulder either. Sometimes when I see the sales clerk eyes start to glaze over I intervene either by dropping a window or brick sample on his foot. So, now he will have a NEW story to tell the next sales clerk about his broken toe.

Sorry for the lack of participation of late, but I just am so dang lazy and a little busy. Who knew I would actually buy into this new life I am leading. Sometimes I feel a little guilty for not doing a little more around here. Now that is has cooled off I am sure I will get my mojo working again.

Balonie.....going for nap.

In Limbo

I don't know where to start with anything. The new house won't be finished until January sometime....and I know I have to start cleaning etc. around here...but It will be all dirty by the time it comes time to sell the house.

The market is still hot so I don't anticipate a problem with selling, or getting the price we want...but when do I start?

I know I can do all the stuff that won't be touched until sale time like the rec room and 2& 3rd. bedrooms but I can't pack up all the stuff that's in them. I have no place to put it. We use these rooms mostly for storage. I'm not going to wash all the windows inside and out until it's almost time to sell because in fall they are full of cobwebs and will get dirty all over again. I.am.in.limbo.mon.

I don't want to have the carpets cleaned just yet because Penny Loafer is still shedding the last of her last winter's coat of f*cking fur. She is almost done. I don't want get the drapery cleaned because it will just be dusty by that time.
I.am.in.limbo.mon. sing it with me....

I am sitting on the cusp. And it's making a dent in my ass.

We have about 5 more people to contact for doing the innards of our house. Very scary. Tomorrow is Windows & Doors day. Well I don't have a clue. I cannot visualize. When I see something I will either love it or hate it. But how will I know what will look good in a house I can't even see. I have the plans...but they mean nothing to me. It's just a piece of paper.

Balonie...scratching her head.

Hey!

You know....retirement is not as bad assed as I thought it was. I know I was giving it a bad name but I think it takes about three months to get used to. Heads up to all of you that told me that.



The first couple of months threw me off. I should have been so grateful instead of being a jerk. But then I was still a little resentful and that has now gone . I enjoy every day. Every day is mine. I can come and go as I please. I am still amazed at to what happens in our street and even on the city streets between the hours of 7:30AM and 4.30PM. I never saw it. I can do anything I want. No more alarm clocks telling me when I have to get up and nothing in my head telling me when I have to go to bed. It really just does not get better than that. I feel so relaxed. I don't even do shit I know I should do because I can leave that for another day.



I am truly blessed, and with the up coming house stuff............it's only going to get better. But I am a pessimist....I'm always waiting the the worst to happen. My husband is the total opposite...he can never see the dark side.


Just a few pics if you didn't see them in facebook




I had a meeting with the builders and am so confident they will meet out needs.

So, balonie for once is on the happy side of life. xxx yer fingers.

balonie

I tried to make a cartoon of my face for the blog, but it doesn't show up in my profile properly so I put it on the sidebar. Dang... but it sure was fun doing it.

Shit

We took the day off...meaning we slept to 11:30 this morning. It was cold and raining... what a better time enjoy the new water bed and all the new bedding and just pull it around you and sleep. I had the bedroom window open and you could smell the the earthy smells and hear the rain beating down.

I was going to make this and very relaxed post.

Until...as we were napping another smell anointed our nostrils. I, at first thought a horse had come into our house and planted a very large load of manure. I tried to make it go away by changing positions. But no....it persisted. So....as far as I know we don't own a horse, it must be Gord. I checked his backside....and no...it was clean, and he was still sawing logs. I checked the dog and she was sleeping peacefully at the foot of our bed.

Where was the smell coming from? Well I finally got up and went downstairs and was greeted by a big pile of dog shit. I thank all the family who came over last night for Attitude Adjustment Hour....... and gave her the cheese when I told them not to give it to her. I have saved the shit and will put it in a zip lock bag ....and they will all see it again at Christmas. I will rename it..Joan's Tootsie Roll Delight. I might even add some nuts. It will in their Christmas stocking.

Balonie
someone will be eating shit this Christmas...and it won't be me.

Friday is still my favorite day

Even though I'm not slugging it out there in the corporate world, Friday is still the best day of the week. I can't tell you why. It just is.

This week has been like all the others...full of "what do I do now". So I took the bull by the balls and started to de-clutter my house for our move later this year. The bathroom alone took two hefty garbage bags. I had so much crap stored in the drawers, under the sink, and in the medicine cabinet that would have made a grown man cry. Most of it was useless crap. How many bottles of Listerine do you need? The expiry dates were way past due. Hair products, I never used, cosmetics I never used, I even found some tampons.....well that was awhile ago. Everything gets shoved to the back until it's falling out the front. Now that I have time to do the inventory it has grown very sparse.

Keep it simple stupid... We now have only soap, toilet paper on one side and on the other is your know...stuff...yes I have a few things I like...bubble bath stuff and all that crap. But for the most part it is all gone. I hope nobody gets sick here.....because I removed 25 years of medication out of the medicine cabinet. Yeah yes I exaggerate.....but it's all gone. I'm going to do this with every room between now and when it's time to leave.

We have a meeting with the designer of our home on Wednesday. I am not prepared. I have to know what I want and don't want. I have to realize we are really going to move away from our neighbourhood. It's time I put my big girl hat on.....and move on. and get off my freaking ass.

balonie....putting a fire cracker under her ass.

Monday Monday...

Today was a hard day, yet very special. I was supposed to do a short blogger eulogy for Curtis at his memorial when all hell broke loose.

Some guy in a dump truck left his "dump" up and slammed into the underpass that takes me to the inner city. I was trapped on the road for forever...or so it seemed. Fortunately I got there only 15-20 minutes late.

It was so sad. Those of you who remember Ellen his wife that died three years ago, will know how much they loved each other. As much as we don't want to believe in fairy tales this was one of them. It was decided that he died of a broken heart. Yes, he had some health issues, but he never recovered from her death.

You see Curtis was much of a loner all his life. He didn't have any parents and was passed off to his grandparents when he was little. He loved them dearly and spent his childhood on a farm with them. But, he lacked the friendship of other children which I don't think his grandparents could provide. I'm not sure what he did after his grandparents died, but from what I gathered he served in Viet Nam later. It was told today at the service that he never talked about that. Curtis loved people and animals.....he was a very caring and gentle giant. I can't see him in war torn countries. Perhaps that is why he could never sleep at night and would blog in the middle of the night or in the early mornings. All we can do is guess.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my redneck blog yesterday. I just thought it would have made him laugh.

Taking off my granny pants ........... an going to bed.

We've howdied but we ain't shook yet

(In Memory of my dear friend Curtis) ...One last laugh I wrote for you.

These here are my grandson's ...one the left is Bobby Joe and the other is Cletus. Bobby Joe, his engine is running most times but ain't nobody driving and Cletus, he's the purdy one ...he thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. He likes his wimen and his drink. I keep both of em around because ...well this ain't my first rodeo and I need help keeping the law from finding my still. Why just yesterday the Sheriff and the Deputee follered me home from Church. My trigger finger was getting mighty itchy by the time we got home and then they just passed on by. "They are as full of wind and a corn eatin horse."

This here is my daughter Orlean. She helps out at the place but most times she sits on her fat behind and yaks and yaks..."she's got tongue enough for ten rows a teeth" that girl. She's got two girls Larlene and Faylene, their daddy high tailed it out of here some years ago. They ate supper before they said grace, so they never had them a formal weddin. He left them high and dry without a penny to their names. We thought he was a good man but "just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean he can fly". Both girls are going to school now but they got put back again this year. They are so cross eyed they have to read standing on their heads.

Well it's time to finish the chores and sweep up the kitchen, then out to the barn and check on the moonshine.

Grandma.

I can't stop.........

I changed the name of my blog.

I say "if the drawers fit wear them."

Dusting this ole girl off.....

Damn cobwebs all over the place in here.

So, I haven't had a vehicle to drive in two days and it's making me cranky. Gord's truck is in the garage and he is driving mine. boo hoo. Suddenly I have run out of everything or so it seems. Not that I really NEED the stuff, but I want it right now. I need yarn to start a crochet pattern I bought a month ago...and I want it today! I should go to the library and return some books .... but I can't because "you know who" has my truck....dognabbit. I guess we will be eating boiled macaroni for supper...because I don't have any fresh food in the house and I don't feel like defrosting anything in the freezer. What if I got sick or hurt myself and had to sit holed up in this god forsaken house without any band aids? Life is very disagreeable today.

Oh look, I have two legs. If I put one foot in front of the other I could walk to the store. But honestly, that would require some effort on my part, and I have put all the effort I have into whining ... so I have none left.

Hold on.... Gord just called and his truck in ready to be picked up. Phew, just when I was about to "walk" someplace... that was close. Now I don't even feel like crocheting....or cooking... and I think there is a box of band aids in the other bathroom. Life is getting more agreeable.

He will be here to pick me up in a minute...so I gotta go.

Here he is in a parade last weekend with his brother's car. He's the mafia guy on the left.

A nice day of rain and some reading

I have read Jane Eyre many times before and also saw the movie on Masterpiece Theatre but that was a long time ago. So I got the book at the library the other day along with 4 others that I picked at random because I couldn't choose. I read the entire book in 48 hours...yes I skipped some crap, only because I wanted to get to the good parts I knew were coming. I loved it as usual.

Just when I thought I got my reading mojo back....I started to read another book (that I had picked at random)...and fell out of love with reading again.

I love books that are written in first person narration like Jane Eyre. You can get into the head of the writer. It's personal. When I started the other books they paled in comparison. Charlotte knew how to tell a story.

If I ever try to write a book it will be in the "first person".

If it quits raining I will be out in the back 40 tomorrow trying to clean up the apples that are falling from about 40 feet above. Man those suckers are big and when they hit the ground or the shed it sounds like a cannon went off. I have to make sure Penny is no where near that area. Or I might have to get a doggie hard hat for her.

I have been receiving all my cheques this month for unemployment and my CPP benefits ....holy moly I like this shit.....no work...but lots of money coming in. It doesn't get better than that.

We will need it for the new house.
Balonie....just a click away.........