Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Meme and other stuff

I have been chosen by Ada,from http://www.dirtyolive.net// She's a funny gal, and I luvs her son Franklenstein.
..sorry {I don't know how to link stuff). I have to name 5 of my Idiosyncrasies, well, where to start? 100 come to mind.

1. My curtains have be open, day and night. I must be able to look outside at all time, or I get a little anxious. We have lived in this house now for twenty years, and I have never spent more than 15 minutes at a time in our downstairs rec room. It doesn't have any windows. I painted down there about 5 years ago, it took a long long time.

2. I'm a neat freak, but not a clean freak. Everything must be in order and put away, but I don't really care if it gets put away in a dusty spot.

3. I hate driving with Gord. Not because he is a bad driver (ahem) but I am always afraid that we will have an accident and BOTH be killed, and there will be no one to take care of our dog Penny and close our estate. It terrifies me. I even go so far as to try to meet up with him when we go to different events. Silly..huh? Who knew I was a such a wuss? Our Will has an executor named, but I still don't like it.

4. Procrastinator...I will put off..puttin off!! Except if I really like doing it. You didn't see me putting off this meme did you? Oh no, balonie only does what she wants to do and when she wants to do it. "Your shorts need washing you say.. I just washed them two weeks ago, turn them inside out." pfsst "Clean the van?"..huh.."I did that last spring!!" "Go on the internet, and find this site for me....OKAY..I'll be right on it!!" Yes, I am a bit of a A hole.

5. Don't talk to me ... or even look at me on Monday morning. Nope, not even a glance or I will cut your heart out. I'm good for the rest of the week.

There, now you all know what a beyotch I am. It's okay, I don't do all these things at the same time, so then it's not probably not noticed too much. Others might differ with this opinion.

Do you know what I did on Friday???, coming home, hot and sweaty after grocery shopping? I drove up on the driveway, then remembered I had a shit pile of stuff to lug in the house,and I should actually back the van in so the sliding doors would be closer to the house. I got back in THE BIG HORKING VAN, backed it off, turned around and started to back in. We have one of those V type driveways because we live a cul de sac, plus you have to try missing a fire hydrant that the City conveniently placed beside our driveway, plus maneuver V like towards the house. I was watching the rear view mirror and backing up very slowly. Just a note to those that be in the automobile Industry, why did you feel in necessary to install those stinking mirrors on vehicles that say... "things are closer than they appear." Okay, how close? huh? I was inching along, unsure of exactly where I was weaving, I stuck my head out the window to look back....and "THE.WINDOW.WAS.CLOSED! Well, fertheloveofastinkingdick, I hit me noggin so hard I thought I was going to pass out. So that is probably why I put the ice-cream in the fridge and the milk in the freezer when I unloaded the groceries. Lordy!! I still have a lump the size of an egg on my headgear.

Seriously, nothing evar evar goes according to plan..and I mean nothing. I just want that one week with any drama..but it won't happen, it's only Tuesday. I could expect strife and such if we had kids etc. but we don't! We make up our own shit. OH wait..I have a prime example..as you may have guessed it's a Gord story, but none the less I know how this will play out.

We have a paper in town called the "Buy and Sell"..Gord and his brother are always selling junk in it. However, they use our home phone number to do it. Guess who answers the phone..moi. The people that phone are not your brightest bulbs in the bulb factory, but I am curtious, and try to be helpful and explain we have a wheelbarrow for sale, but do you mind if it doesn't have a tire on it?. I don't know WHY that would put them off, after all they could drag around a barrow without it's wheel..seems like a mute point to me. What.is.their.problem.

For some reason Gord thought it would be a good idea to sell my old bike that I bought in 1984..and never rode, in the Buy and Sell. Sure the bike was new, but it is all rusted out now, the tires are flat ...and who the hell would want it!! A few weeks ago a guy came from right across town to look at it...and he laughed in my face..yes he did. He said hardee har lady and left in a hurry. So, I told Gord to take it out of the paper and I would give it to "Goodwill." No way, he's leaving it in the paper and when the next guy comes from as far away as Alaska, he will generously "give it to him for his trouble."... (well is that not the same as giving it to Goodwill?, I say with clenched teeth.) I know now why I have a huge egg shaped lump on my head, it wasn't from the window of the van, it was from banging my head on the walls when he said it. So, now in his convoluted thinking he will be doing the next guy a favour when they come all the way here to see the broken down rusted out old bike. Merry Christmas, unsuspecting person from Inuvik!! I hope your sled dogs can tow her.

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