Sunday, July 23, 2006

What was I thinking?

I was sitting here trying to find something amusing about my life to write about. I kept up coming with a big fat zero....Until I looked at my notebook which sits right in front of my keyboard, to write down IMPORTANT notes to myself. I was stunned, yes stunned when I started to look back at my various jottings...and what was I thinking when I wrote them?

* Heimlich maneuver
I musta choked on a hunk of balonie

* Anorexic
Not enough balonie

* Preus
Short for peruse?

* Imodium
Somebody probably ate ranch dressing ...hmmmm ...yes that will do it. Good thing we don't own a hot tub, I would have shit in it.

* Led Zepplin
I have no explanation

* Pay credit cards
As I recall, I saw the note a little to late, and had already blown my pay cheque.

* Prostate
I'm willing to bet, I was applying for Med School that day

* Various passwords
I don't know what they are for, I especially liked peekaboo

* Alcatraz
That was possibly the day I swiped my stapler from work

* Ellipse
Likely from the song "Total Ellipse of the Heart"

* My butt is going to sleep
Heh..last thing I said to Gord after I hit the sack

* Hairy canine crap factory
My dog must of crapped on the rug

* The lady fell asleep oink
The name of the novel I am writing.

* I went to the right back
I wrote that to my computer, he gets worried if I'm not sitting here...forever.

* Wake me up when it's over
See.. my butt is going to sleep

* Is there a bird in here?
Well, is there?

* begin sidebar -
OMG I was changing the look of my blog AGAIN

* Vegetarian - An Old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter"
A joke I must have thought hilarious so I don't need any aboriginal hate mail.

* Assburn
Hey, I remember this one. My niece lives on Ashburn St., and I was emailing her a note, and said "Wouldn't it have been funny if the city would have mistaken the "h" in ash and put in an "s" instead! I blacked out after laughing so hard.

* Always tumultuous
I think I was going to name my blog this at one point. How insightful. Forfartsake.

* I was confused
...and I still am

* Heavens to mergatroid
Yogi musta stole my pikanik basket and I got all crazy in the head...exit stage left, run like hell.

* Deranged
One of the more intellectual websites I must have visited.

* Queen Balonie
For sure, can't argue with that!

So, here we are again. Sitting in God's Sauna. I knew I should have started recycling earlier, I probably burned a huge hole in the ozone layer. Today is probably the first day I have not ventured outside. It's impossible. Instead I have decided to heat up the house and cook my Sunday Supper. God forbid I don't have a well balanced meal on Sunday night. Plus, I put a load of dishes in the dishwasher, opened and closed the patio door 500 fricken times for the dog. It's warm in here, but it's a dry heat ...Gahhhhhhhhh..

My monkey..I mean my husband decided this morning, before temps reached 30c to cut down a tree branch that is hanging over our eaves and bending the crap of them. Yes, the guy with the gimpy leg is climbing up a ladder two stories with a saw that probably came from a Toys Are Us Bob the Builder set. I was inside getting ready to read the Sunday paper, when I heard my neighbour say..."Gord, that looks dangerous" WTF!! here he is...already on the roof sawing away with his pretend saw. Jesbus Murphy. He actually cut down two huge limbs, with the plastic saw, but she could take no more and melted. So tomorrow he plans on getting his brothers chain saw...say a prayer because this could be the beginning of the end. It ain't gonna be pretty.

One more week and I have a week off!! Yippeeee ... I sure as hell hope it's not this hot ... if it is I am sure "balonie" will come out of her shell where she has been hiding in for a couple of months. Seriously, you don't want to know what she might do.

I have still been "burning" music like crazy...until Curtis, my CD player started to give me a small amount of grief. When Curtis tosses out my tunes for over an hour, he starts to smell like plastic, and the songs on the CD start burping. It's sort of like listening to someone on a cell phone when their battery is shutting down. Well, bycriminy..I paid 39.99 for him and I expect my monies worth, that little twerp! So, back he goes to Superstore, shuffled away in warehouse with all his brothers that can't take the heat. He will miss all my hippy tunes, maybe I played "white rabbit" one too many times and I plumb wore him out. He was probably made for show tunes.

Time to get out of here, the sun is going down and I will have to water my garden. My dog is sitting here and looking at me like she got hit by a truck, NOBODY IS PLAYING WITH ME. She doesn't seem to have any trouble with the heat.

I took a few pic's of my begonia's on the deck. After this wave that will probably the last we will see of them.

Stay cool, I am.

Oppa..Sunday Nite Supper:

A medley of deboned chicken thighs and meatballs roasted a sweet and sour sauce.
Fresh beans and carrots.

I feel like waving a fan in front of my face, at my mansion in the south..and saying something really sexy in a southern accent. Like...could someone fetch me a mint julep, I'm a thirsting to dath. For some reason I see Paul Newman in my fantasy, but it could be the "dressing" talking. And then I had vapors......

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